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Jupiter Moon is a science fiction soap opera television series first broadcast by British Satellite Broadcasting's Galaxy channel in 1990. 150 episodes were commissioned and made, but only the first 108 were broadcast before the closure of BSB. Episodes 109–150 were first shown in the UK on the Sci Fi Channel in 1996.

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Transcript
00:01For God's sake, Mercedes, doesn't this argument tell you anything?
00:04We're always at each other's throats.
00:06And whose fault's that?
00:07It doesn't matter whose fault it is.
00:10The point is it's hardly conducive to a stable relationship.
00:12Oh, and little Victoria never answers back.
00:14We don't spend the whole time scoring points off one of us.
00:17Just lies down and takes it.
00:18How nice for you, a nice comfy little doormat.
00:21She is an intelligent woman, a gifted scientist in her own right.
00:25So am I, and you wipe your feet all over me.
00:29What do you want me to say?
00:32I want you to have the guts to look me in the face and tell me that it's over.
00:39It's over.
00:59I'm going to rebuild aاخ.
01:00I don't know.
01:32Good morning, Mercedes. The time is...
01:35Petra, shut up.
01:44Petra, there's something I want you to do for me.
01:52Petra, systems are met, summary.
01:54Good morning, Commander.
01:57Good morning, Petra.
01:58All shipboard systems nominal.
02:01We are on course to intercept with Himalaya in 17 hours 50.
02:07MedSat Iola 9 reports ionised hydrogen and sulphur plumes scale 400 in IO flux tube.
02:16Intercept T minus 8 hours 40.
02:19Why is it that my heart always sinks when MedSats go on about sulphur plumes?
02:23No, it's only scale 4. We won't even notice.
02:27What are you doing up?
02:31Petra, what woke me up at 0500 hours this morning?
02:37Every time I move, he sort of snots and breathes, you know, deep and meaningful.
02:43And then suddenly, he rolls over in a real masculine way.
02:47I'm pretending to have a shower right now.
02:49But please, you've got to do something.
02:51Because this idea is not really working out.
02:55Anna.
02:56Yes, Bex?
02:57If you ever wake me up at 0500 again, I'll kill you.
03:01Understand?
03:02It must take years of training in the art of bursarhood to react to crises with your sensitivity and compassion.
03:11Shipboard announcement to all students and staff.
03:14Mercedes-Benz Page has the pleasure in announcing that her engagement to Professor Charles Bonaparte-Brelin is over.
03:21And she cordially invites all her friends to a celebration drink at Club Galileo at 20 hundred hours today.
03:28Oh, no.
03:29Well, Mercedes is up then.
03:31Oh, that's too much. Drummond, that really is too much.
03:35Come on.
03:38Daniel, what are you doing?
03:40Oh, hello.
03:41It's my close-loop life support systems project.
03:44Should be a steady trickle of water by now.
03:46Water?
03:47Yes, it's natural distillation.
03:48Plants do all the purifying.
03:50Stop us having to add all those chemicals.
03:53You okay?
03:56There have been some rumors flying about.
03:58Oh, yes.
04:00Parties being held.
04:02It's girls locking up their blokes to stop you stealing them.
04:04Oh, Daniel.
04:05Yeah, that's why Jim's banged up with Anna.
04:07Please.
04:07It's a fact.
04:09Sarah's locked the poor boy up to save him from your terrible power.
04:13It's because he's got measles.
04:15You fell for that story, huh?
04:18It's true, then.
04:20You're going to marry the professor.
04:23It's true, then.
04:25You're going to marry Melody.
04:27You sure have me, yeah.
04:30You're actually a very nice person, Daniel.
04:34Do you know that?
04:35God, an end of engagement party, that is style.
04:38Do you know how I knew she'd call it off?
04:40You knew she'd call it off as well, didn't you, Gabby?
04:42She didn't call it off.
04:43He kicked her out.
04:45I was there in the club.
04:45I was there in the club when she came down from Gantry 2
04:47and there were tears streaming down her face.
04:50Can you imagine Mercedes-Page with tears streaming down her face?
04:52Hey, I'll tell you one thing I can't imagine.
04:54That's Professor Brelin and Victoria Frobisher.
04:57Oh, it's enough to make you.
04:58Look at you what a cringe.
04:59Brelin.
04:59Can you two let me get on with some work, please?
05:02Yeah, terribly sorry, Gabriela.
05:04It's not very helpful to gossip, is it, even if it's true?
05:06Even if it's true?
05:08Of course it's true.
05:09God, I don't know.
05:11OK, Gabriela, Medi-Check 1200, then straight down to pre-breathing, all right?
05:15It's still on, then.
05:16Of course it's still on.
05:18Oh, God.
05:19What's this, Gabby?
05:20Oh, it's Space Mobility, exercise, last step before EVA 1.
05:23Oh, so that's why you're moaning and groaning, is it?
05:26Honestly, it's a doddle, isn't it?
05:27Tell her, Sarah.
05:28Oh, yeah.
05:28It's a doddle.
05:28It's a doddle.
05:29I'm not scared.
05:30Why does everyone think I'm scared all the time?
05:32I don't know why Sarah thinks it's dead easy when she hasn't done it herself.
05:36What?
05:36Haven't I?
05:38You haven't done EVA 1?
05:40You've got to have EVA 1.
05:41I did EVA 1 in the first year.
05:44Pre-breathing 1200, Sarah, OK?
05:46I'm really not feeling very well.
05:48I'll be waiting.
05:49Yes, but I can't.
05:50I'm not ready.
05:52That's best, actually, Sarah.
05:53Then you don't have the horror of anticipation.
05:56But I've got to look after Jim.
05:59It's amazing, isn't it, that the most boring place in the known universe should come up with
06:04such a fascinating game as Martian chess.
06:07Open.
06:08Hi.
06:09Hiya.
06:11So, how are you both feeling?
06:13Not too bad.
06:14But I'm still itching.
06:15I thought that would have gone by now.
06:17Are you sure Medicom can't give us something?
06:19You heard what Christophe said.
06:21He really thinks it's better for it to let us take its natural course for now.
06:24Anna?
06:25I didn't sleep too well.
06:27And neither did I.
06:28What a coincidence.
06:30Well, look, Christophe wants me to check you over.
06:32Let's have a look at your chest.
06:34Jim, perhaps you'd like to go take a shower?
06:36Oh, yeah.
06:39Now, look, Anna, you are both going to be in quarantine for at least 24 hours and there's
06:43nothing I can do about it, so it's no good you pulling faces at me.
06:46You could put us in separate cabins.
06:48Have you any idea how difficult it was getting Petra to isolate your air supply?
06:52She thought we wanted to vent the cabin and very nearly supped all the air out.
06:55Yeah?
06:56Just a joke, Anna.
06:58Look, you don't seriously think Jim's trying to have a go.
07:01Well, I'm not used to men.
07:02Not in the same cabin.
07:04Sleeping and scratching and snoring.
07:07Well, you must want to scratch too.
07:09And it's not fair on Sarah making her boyfriend share a cabin with a strange woman.
07:13But it's you, Anna.
07:14So?
07:16So if you ever wake me up again, I'll kill you, right?
07:19It's a doddle.
07:20It's a laugh.
07:21It's a piece of cake.
07:22Okay, Fiona, you do it.
07:23I've done it, haven't I?
07:25You know, I still can't believe, Sarah, that after two years, two years, you haven't got
07:30EVA anymore.
07:30Oh, shut up all you, Fiona.
07:32When am I ever going to want to go spacewalking anyway?
07:35What are you doing?
07:36You never know.
07:37Hi.
07:38Hello, Sarah.
07:40Shipboard announcement to all students and staff.
07:44Mercedes Page has the pleasure in announcing that her engagement to Professor Charles Bonaparte
07:49Brown.
07:53Hey, do you kids want some advice?
07:55Um, yeah, if you think it might prove useful.
07:57Right, if ever a man, particularly a dwarf-type man, tells you that he loves you, worships you,
08:02wants you to be a consort to the stars, stick a parrot down his throat.
08:16Yeah?
08:16Mercedes, sweetie, had to pull the plug on your highly political party broadcast.
08:22Orders from on high.
08:23Yeah, okay.
08:24But I want you to know that I'll be there.
08:27Tarzan outfit, bongo drums, personality sparkling as ever.
08:33Sorry about that.
08:34It's okay.
08:35Now, the Jovian magnetosphere.
08:39Variant in size depending on the solar wind.
08:42Its tail's so large it reacts with Saturn.
08:45But the tricky bit is when the bow shock meets the magnetosheath.
08:51And that's the bit we go through in just over three hours.
08:55Yeah, we've been through it before, haven't we?
08:57I mean, we went through the Van Allens not two months ago.
09:00Yes, but we didn't go through Io's flux tube at the same time.
09:03With the plasma reddies, you can get effective localised currents of, ooh, four million amps.
09:09Not any danger, are we?
09:10We wouldn't be doing it if there was any danger, Mr. Weatherby.
09:14I'm glad about that.
09:15Not real danger anyway.
09:18It's going to add to take poor old Petra, mind you.
09:20Have you cancelled that announcement?
09:22I have.
09:23You heard.
09:24And have you spoke to Mercedes yet?
09:26Sort of.
09:27Is she going ahead with this party?
09:28I tried to dissuade her, but you know what a headstrong girl she is.
09:34Petra, shipboard announcement.
09:37It's Commander Drummond here.
09:38Yeah, we're going to make a few minor course adjustments, so please do not panic if we get
09:43Amber Sentinels and the alarms go off.
09:47They are good kids.
09:49They shouldn't have to go through this, Drummond.
09:51We shouldn't have to risk panic and emotional upset just because you want to save the career
09:55of some high-flying service officer.
09:56And that's what this is really all about, isn't it?
09:59Message from Captain Kovitsky.
10:01Speak of the devil.
10:02Please note, increase in sulphur drizzle in IO flux tube.
10:07Suggest abort current trajectory.
10:10Petra, send the following message back to Captain Kovitsky.
10:15If we abort current trajectory, you'll be stuck on Himalaya for the next three weeks.
10:19Is this an extended honeymoon?
10:21Is there something you want to tell us?
10:24Message ends.
10:25Gabriella Tanzi calling Comsen.
10:29Petra.
10:30Me and Sarah just wanted to say that, well, we know that you've got your hands full on
10:35the bridge today and we just wondered if you wanted to put off our space mobility exercise.
10:39Put off our space mobility exercise?
10:42Put at risk your progress towards EVA1?
10:45We just thought in view of the change of course.
10:47Look, you don't have to worry about that.
10:49I could do with a breath of air.
10:52Pre-breathing five minutes.
10:54Let's go for it.
10:56See, the whole idea is to make everything appear as normal as possible.
11:02You'll be all right, Mr. Wetherby.
11:10Space mobility.
11:12Frightful important.
11:14You're doing quite well, Gabby.
11:15You should have your EVA1 in record time.
11:18Sarah, I don't quite know what to say about you.
11:21We all thought you'd done this weeks ago, eh?
11:24Right, let's have a look at you.
11:25Come on.
11:25Round you go.
11:27Uh-huh.
11:28Well, you've both taken in 500 litres of oxygen.
11:31Now we'll be wearing double clamps and lifelines and we'll stay in the safety of the forewood.
11:36Uh, Drummond to bridge.
11:38We're all ready to go.
11:40Airlock opens in five seconds.
11:42All right.
11:43Hatch is set to automatic.
11:47Have a nice day.
11:49Starboard.
11:51Starboard.
11:51Come on, mobility with precision, Gabriela.
11:55If your hand goes out to a laser knife, you want it to end up in the right place.
11:59You don't want to puncture the shit now, do you?
12:01It's only my first time.
12:03There's bloody my eyes.
12:04It's only the pressure compensator.
12:07You know all about it.
12:08It's not doing you any harm.
12:10Now, come on, Sarah.
12:12One step.
12:13One step.
12:14Touch your fingers.
12:16One step.
12:16Two step.
12:17Back you go.
12:22Petra, restrict access.
12:23Lecture theatre five.
12:24Medical and service personnel only.
12:27Acknowledged.
12:32So, Drummond's chasing after that little tart in the first year, is he?
12:36I think she's chasing him.
12:39Petra.
12:40Omicron 494.
12:44Know what that is?
12:45An H2 region?
12:46Plasma wrapping itself round the magnetic field, freezing it, smothering it and totally
12:52obliterating it.
12:53I'm sure there's a moral to this tale.
12:54Well, sometimes the magnetic field proves stronger than the plasma.
12:58Sometimes it proves strong enough to break itself free again.
13:02It's awfully dangerous when that happens, Rebecca.
13:04People ought to watch out when that happens.
13:06I see.
13:06So, you're a magnetic field trying to break free.
13:09Right.
13:10We've got 60 people on board.
13:13We've lost our captain and first officer.
13:15And now we have a professor and two research graduates screaming their sexual grievances in public.
13:21It's selfish, self-indulgent, childish and irresponsible.
13:25Look, come on, Rebecca.
13:26It's appalling by any standards, but with young people in our care.
13:28Have you told him that, then?
13:29Have you told that little slut that she...
13:33Look, I have been totally faithful to that bloody dwarf while he's been mooning over a student and I never
13:38suspected a thing.
13:39I'm sure none of it was premeditated.
13:40Oh, come on, come on.
13:42She was a second year when I went to Island Five.
13:44When I come back, she's got a degree.
13:46She's been accepted for a doctorate.
13:48She's got a cabin on Gantry 2 and she's teaching.
13:52I can't believe I was so blind.
13:55Mercedes, please, will you cancel this party?
13:58It's demeaning for you and it's making a laughingstock of Professor Brelin.
14:02Is it?
14:03Oh, good.
14:05Open.
14:06Access medical and service personnel.
14:09Open the door, you fat, stupid bonehead.
14:12A fifth-generation computer would have known what she meant by inward access.
14:15What's the matter with you?
14:22Sorry, Petra.
14:38Infrared spectrometer, plasma wave antenna, thermoelectric generator.
14:45Petra, check low-field magnetometers alpha-alpha and magnetic field sentinels or Gantry's alpha-alpha.
14:51Professor Brelin calling Comset.
14:53That calls during alpha-checks, Petra.
14:56Low-field magnetometers, three plus amber.
14:59Magnetic field sentinels nominal.
15:02Petra, recheck.
15:03How can they be nominal?
15:04We're less than two hours away from the magnetosphere, for heaven's sake.
15:07Low-field magnetometers, three plus amber.
15:11Magnetic field sentinels nominal.
15:14Petra, get me, Commander Drummond.
15:16Nothing, Daniel.
15:18Absolutely nothing.
15:19It'll come through when the purification process is complete.
15:22It's just taking a little bit longer than I thought it would.
15:25You promised me I would now be drinking nectar.
15:28You said that if Sarah did her space mobility, she would now be drinking nectar.
15:31Yes, you did, Daniel.
15:32You promised me and I nearly, blooming, died out there, let me tell you.
15:36Hey, hey, hang on, look.
15:38Look.
15:39Oh, I don't believe it.
15:40Look, I've done it.
15:41Ha-ha, I told you it would work.
15:43Hi, guys.
15:44Hi.
15:44What's all this?
15:45It's a still.
15:46Gin?
15:47Moonsharing?
15:47No, it's water.
15:49Water.
15:50Weatherby water.
15:52Weatherby water.
15:53No.
15:53That is disgusting.
15:55Disgusting?
15:56It cannot fail.
15:58Oh, yeah.
15:58Recycled water that is pure, distilled, deionised, but still tastes as fresh as if it came from
16:05a mountain stream, handed down to me by an ancestor of mine, Flora McWhetherby.
16:11Well, come on, who's going to be the first to try it?
16:14Not me.
16:14Fiona, come on.
16:16Come on, somebody try it.
16:17Delroy, come on.
16:18Oh, excuse me.
16:20Hello.
16:20Can you come to the bridge?
16:22Yes, of course.
16:24Petra, confirm status magnetic field sentinels or gantries.
16:28All magnetic field sentinels nominal.
16:31Oh, no.
16:32Petra, visual scan nearest field sentinel.
16:36You see, that doesn't tell us anything.
16:39Look, if you're going to go out, you've got 80 minutes pre-breathing and 83 minutes before
16:43we hit the bow shot waves.
16:45Okay.
16:45I'm going out.
16:47Yeah?
16:47Tell Breland.
16:48Uh-oh.
16:48Sorry.
16:49Daniel, tell Professor Breland I'm doing an EVA to check the magnetic field sentinels.
16:53Oh, and telling they're showing nominal when they should be reacting to the magnetism.
16:57Look, Drummond, why don't we just abort this trajectory now?
16:59Well, why can't we just change course?
17:02Look, we've had too many sudden course changes in the past few days.
17:05Chazan says it's causing student stress and anxiety.
17:08It's because of Natasha, isn't it?
17:10It's because you want to protect Natasha, and to do that, you've got to get her back in
17:13command pretty quick.
17:14I'm going down to do a visual step, all right?
17:17No, no, no.
17:17You're guilty because you left Daniel on the bridge by himself, and Natasha's been left
17:21carrying the cab.
17:22There is absolutely no reason to change course.
17:25Well, do you fancy her, then?
17:26Oh, come on, they're saying she's getting hysterical.
17:28Or is it that first year you've been drooling all over?
17:30First year?
17:31Yeah.
17:32The only first year I have ever drooled over was on Luna.
17:38What if he flies around the dome shouting, I'm free, I'm free, and it's a beautiful universe?
17:43Well, no, we're really on to something.
17:48Jack.
17:49I tried to forgive him.
17:51I went back to him, and he chapped me out.
17:55Oh, God, bulldog.
17:57How would you have felt?
17:58I've been faithful.
17:59I've been totally bloody faithful.
18:04Okay.
18:07Open.
18:08Open.
18:20Is it from Christoph?
18:22Oh, you'd think he would have waited.
18:24Actually, you'd think he'd take time out to check us over.
18:27Do you realize how much he gets paid for looking after our students?
18:31You know the worst thing?
18:33The thing that really hurts?
18:35Trying for weeks and months to live up to his standards,
18:38to try and justify his affection,
18:41trying to be responsible and grown up and steady and make it work.
18:48The worst thing was letting him be the one to say it was over.
18:52Mercedes.
18:53Hmm?
18:53You should never have left Luna.
18:55At least, not without me.
18:57Now, stop worrying.
18:58Exterior hatches open in 10 seconds.
19:01Warning.
19:02Exterior hatches open in 10 seconds.
19:05Warning.
19:06This airlock will vent in 15 seconds.
19:10Bulldog.
19:12Take care.
19:16Plasma electron density,
19:183.9 times 10 to the power of 61 per cubic centimetre.
19:23Comps Centre Commander Drummond, did you note that reading?
19:25Noted.
19:26Don't worry.
19:28So, what does it taste like?
19:29Well, I don't know.
19:31It had just started to drip through, you see, when I was called up here.
19:34Why can't they purify water without passing it through plants?
19:37Oh, they can.
19:38But distilled, deionized water tastes foul.
19:41People have tried biological processing before,
19:44but nobody's ever thought of using activated resins as a catalyst.
19:47I wonder why not.
19:50Perhaps they know something you don't, Daniel.
19:52OK.
19:54Camera scan, please.
20:02You two all right, then?
20:04Fine, thanks, Fiona.
20:05Both feeling a bit better, are you?
20:07Fine, thank you, Fiona.
20:08Good.
20:09Um, I heard Christoph saying he was sending something round to stop the scratching.
20:12If they drink this, they'll be fine, I heard him say.
20:15Yeah?
20:16Well, we've tried to call Christoph, but he's in a conference with Professor Brelin.
20:19Oh, well, nothing to do with me.
20:22Cheers.
20:22Bye.
20:34OK.
20:35I'm feeding in a direct charge.
20:38If the sensor's working, you'll get an emergency double red.
20:42All right.
20:43Petra, testing magnetometer and sentinel forward hub.
20:48No, no reaction.
20:50Do you hear that, Bulldog?
20:50It's got to be a computer fault.
20:53Recheck all systems.
20:54I'm coming in.
20:55Look, we can't go into the flux tube with our sentinels down.
20:58Work out a safe course.
21:00Hey, but for God's sake, don't do anything with me out here.
21:04Petra, get me Victoria Frobisher.
21:06And Petra, compute cores to avoid IO flux tube and Jupiter magnetus sheath.
21:11Petra, alpha alpha recheck.
21:13External magnetic field sentinels are all in fully working order, but are failing to transmit information.
21:19Find out why.
21:20And Petra, put through alpha alpha checks to lab five, please.
21:24Sorry, Daniel, we're going to be a bit busy.
21:26Victoria Frobisher calling Compset.
21:29Petra.
21:30Right, Victoria.
21:30Can you get up here straight away, please?
21:32I've got to plot an emergency course and I need some spectrographic analysis.
21:36I'm on my way.
21:38Look, don't you think you ought to tell Professor Brelin?
21:40Just get on with it, Daniel.
21:42IO flux tube bearing 0.3 degrees.
21:45Extent 23.3 degrees magnetus sheath.
21:49Maximum point bearing 0.1 degrees.
21:52No evasive course now possible.
21:55Oh, God, Robert.
21:59You know, Anna, when you smile...
22:02Go on, let's smile.
22:05When you smile, you are lovely, Anna.
22:08You're lovely.
22:10You've got one of the sweetest smiles I've ever seen.
22:13Oh, Jim.
22:15We'll always be friends, you and me, Jim.
22:17Yeah, yeah, friends.
22:18I think it's really got to stay that way.
22:22He said I'll tell you something.
22:24Tell me something, Jim.
22:26If I hadn't gone out with Sarah, and I love Sarah...
22:30You love Sarah, of course you love Sarah.
22:32I love Sarah.
22:33But if I hadn't gone out with Sarah, do you know what I was hoping?
22:40I was hoping that I could go back out with Jenny.
22:46Because I really care such a lot for Jenny.
22:53Just checking to see that you're both OK.
22:57Space City via Arola 9.
22:59We have a malfunction in the magnetic field sensors.
23:02Please inform Endymion and other ships in our Vector 027 Bravo of our current position.
23:07Where's Breland?
23:08He's on his way up.
23:08Daniel's checking the fort right now.
23:09When do we change course?
23:11We don't.
23:11There's no turning back now.
23:13We hit the bow wave in 14 minutes.
23:15I've got a flash reading.
23:16There have been two bursts in the flux tube already.
23:19At 2.74 and 1.2 million amperes.
23:22With sodium sulphur plumes scale 7.
23:24I don't like the look of this.
23:26Oh, it is a bit bloody, isn't it?
23:28The things men do for women, eh?
23:33Are you really late?
23:34I'll just go.
23:36Why?
23:45The things we get is with you.
23:46Is there a bit?
23:46Is there any trouble we have?
23:51Is there any trouble?
23:52Is there any trouble?
23:53Is there any trouble it?
23:53Is there any trouble?
23:54That 1977rition?
23:55Is there any trouble?
23:57It's there any trouble?
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