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Jupiter Moon is a science fiction soap opera television series first broadcast by British Satellite Broadcasting's Galaxy channel in 1990. 150 episodes were commissioned and made, but only the first 108 were broadcast before the closure of BSB. Episodes 109–150 were first shown in the UK on the Sci Fi Channel in 1996.

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Transcript
00:01It must be my fault.
00:05Spending too much time on my work and...
00:09Nonsense.
00:12I must have done something wrong.
00:16I wish he'd told me he was unhappy.
00:20He'd given me some sort of clue.
00:25Maybe he did, and I just didn't even notice.
00:28Victoria, for heaven's sake.
00:32I should have gone to him.
00:34I should have gone to him at Ceres.
00:37I shouldn't have...
00:38I shouldn't have let my pride and ambition stand in my life.
00:42Victoria, this is not your fault.
00:44Of course it's my fault.
00:46Victoria.
00:49You are dependable, and loyal, and brave.
00:53You are the hundred of that bloody Frenchman.
00:59You are the hundred of anybody on this ship.
01:25You are the hundred of anybody on this ship.
01:47I'm sorry, I've got to ask.
01:49What are you doing?
01:50I'm warding off my double chin.
01:53It's recommended by Princess Beatrice in Good Morning Universe.
01:56Of course.
01:58Prevention's better than cure, Charles.
02:01Don't suppose you've, um, booked any plastic surgeons for Deedlers, have you?
02:04I weren't high on my list of priority personnel now.
02:07Oh, you know, in twelve years' time, as young newbells will be mature women, fast approaching middle age.
02:14Are you all right, darling?
02:16Come on. It's time to get up. Come on.
02:19Oh, yes, all right.
02:21I, I didn't sleep well, that's all.
02:23Wretched air conditioning was clunking all night.
02:25What was it? I didn't notice.
02:27Started when we initiated the transfer to radical manure.
02:29Oh, do you want me to get you some breakfast in bed? Some super weenie?
02:32No, no, no, it's all right. I'll, uh, I'll make a move.
02:35I won't mind a cup of coffee, though.
02:37I bought you some ten minutes ago. You said thank you.
02:40How did I? Uh, I'll take a shower, won't you?
02:43Charles?
02:46Good morning, Ilya.
02:48Entrants for the Talent Unlimited extravaganza are still most welcome.
02:52Remember, everyone that arrives in fancy dress gets a free banana daiquiri.
02:57And don't forget the theme. It's a jungle out there.
03:02So that is how Rebecca's getting rid of this banana glut.
03:05I'm glad. I don't think I could face another bowl of banana custard.
03:08Well, I thought you had a craving for it.
03:10Oh. Not anymore. My cravings have disappeared.
03:13I don't think there's any room for anything else in there these days.
03:16Yeah, you're getting big, aren't you?
03:18No, Gemma, I'm not getting big babies.
03:22Hi. Hi.
03:24How are you feeling today?
03:26Oh, you know.
03:29Look, just give it time.
03:31Honestly, one day you'll wake up and go,
03:33Jean-Francois? Oh, yeah, that funny French kid that was on the Ilya for a while.
03:37Yeah, I expect them all right.
03:43Yeah, my thanks.
04:11Looking at the
04:12Victoria Frobisher.
04:14But God is everywhere.
04:16In Africa, in every continent.
04:18He's here with us now.
04:19I'm sure you're right, Anna, but it's not the point.
04:21Kumbaya does not summon up an image of the jungle in anyone's mind.
04:25It's an African word.
04:26What?
04:27Kumbaya, it's Swahili for peace.
04:29I'm not qualified to argue with you, Anna.
04:31I just hope you wouldn't stoop to telling porkies just to win a talent contest.
04:35You said the jungle theme was not compulsory.
04:37It's not, Anna, but you will have points deducted for not complying with the theme.
04:41It's not fair telling us so late.
04:43Anyone can have talent if they practice enough, Anna.
04:46Not everyone can have it at a moment's notice.
04:48Byron, could you do me a big favor?
04:50I'm not rigging the votes, Anna.
04:51Not for you, not for anyone.
04:52Could you scratch my back right in the middle?
04:55I can't get to it.
04:56Sure.
04:57Oh, that's better.
04:58It's funny.
04:58I feel itchy all over.
05:00Itchy?
05:02What kind of itchy?
05:05Not space fever itchy.
05:06I don't know.
05:08I should talk to Rebecca.
05:09Maybe Petra's changed the washing powder again.
05:16Right, there we are.
05:18That should do it now.
05:19Everything's under control.
05:20Everything's tickety-boo.
05:21I'm just going to go and rehearse for the talent competition, all right?
05:23Okay.
05:26That's if you don't mind.
05:27Should I mind if you go off and make a fool of yourself on the Congos?
05:30Bongos, Charles.
05:31Whatever.
05:33You really enjoy winding me up, don't you?
05:36You really enjoy it.
05:37You lay yourself wide open to it.
05:39Petra, how soon will we have comms with Amalia on comms at nine?
05:43Approximately four hours.
05:44Yeah, thank you, Petra.
05:44Look, Charles, I'm sorry if I was a little bit childish about plotting the intercept.
05:50There was really no urgency.
05:52Sadie's, I think you and I need to have a little discussion about just where we're going.
05:58Well, Amalia, I thought.
06:00There you are, you see.
06:01You can't resist it, can you?
06:03Any chance to make a sarcastic remark, have a little ding?
06:06Well, it's you.
06:07You're so bloody jealous all the time.
06:08I am not jealous, I can assure you of that.
06:10If that's what you want to think, that's fine.
06:13Because I really don't have time to talk about it at the moment.
06:15I asked you in the dome about ten minutes ago.
06:18Off you go, man.
06:19All right, then.
06:20We'll talk about your little insecurities later, okay?
06:22You can be very hard sometimes, can't you?
06:25Perhaps that's why you love me.
06:29Loved, Mercedes.
06:31Loved.
06:33Well, walk it, no problem.
06:35Oh, I don't know.
06:37No problem, no.
06:38Ariadne said she's doing something with a laser snake and basket.
06:41It's no charming, but that's not African, it's Indian.
06:44I know men, Gabby.
06:45Yeah?
06:46Yeah.
06:46One twinkle from the jewel in her belly button,
06:48they won't care whether she's Indian, African or Icelandic.
06:51Okay, okay.
06:52So, we'll take the hems up on the skirts, can we?
06:55Yeah, that's a good idea.
06:56My legs haven't put on weight.
06:58Actually, Mel, I didn't mean you.
06:59Yeah, we thought you might be a bit more comfortable in something looser.
07:03Those fringe dresses are very restrictive.
07:04Yeah, and you do keep saying how difficult you find it is to breathe.
07:08No big, so far.
07:09But those dresses are deceiving.
07:11It's uncomfortable, actually.
07:12Well, we did find this lovely piece of material just for you in a drama club.
07:18We thought perhaps a caftan.
07:19Yeah.
07:20With a matching bandana.
07:21And loads of ethnic jewelry to climb it out.
07:23Just for you.
07:24It's quite nice, isn't it?
07:25Yeah.
07:25Yeah.
07:26African.
07:26Yeah.
07:28Yeah.
07:28As long as there's enough to free.
07:33Come on.
07:35Come on.
07:36Oh, it sounds awful.
07:37Look, we'll have to stick to tambourines.
07:40Open.
07:42Hi, Jim.
07:44Oh, er, I was looking for Gabby.
07:46She wanted to borrow these off Sarah for tonight.
07:48Oh, she's not here.
07:49She's rehearsing.
07:50Yeah, who isn't?
07:51It's like the Notting Hill Carnival out there.
07:53What?
07:55Oh, never mind.
07:57So, er, what are you two doing, then?
08:00No, no, let me guess.
08:03One more river to Jordan.
08:06He's got the whole world in his hands?
08:09Oh, well, then it must be Kumbaya.
08:11How did you guess?
08:13Well, you have been known to sing it before.
08:15Well, we've done a new arrangement.
08:16Belinda's just trying to tune her guitar.
08:20Um, Anna, Belinda.
08:24Can I be frank with you?
08:26Sure.
08:27Now, I think you're both talented.
08:30I really do.
08:31But do you actually want to win this competition?
08:34Of course.
08:35Well, then I think you need to shock people.
08:39Take them by surprise.
08:41Leave them gasping in their seats.
08:43How?
08:44What are people expecting, eh?
08:46Now, it's all very nice,
08:48but it's not going to make them want to reach for their autosex
08:51and vote for you, is it?
08:52So what do you suggest?
08:56Well, first of all,
08:57I think you need a manager.
09:02Now, this is the classic Burundi beat.
09:05Right.
09:06Do you need them? I'll be young lad.
09:08Ha!
09:09Wait!
09:09No, we've got to be perfectly synchronised.
09:11It'll sound bloody awful otherwise.
09:13God, what if I can bear the responsibility?
09:15Well, look, just don't think about it.
09:17Just feel what I'm doing and go with it.
09:20Right, OK.
09:20It should come naturally.
09:21Uh-huh.
09:22It's naturally as, um,
09:24riding a bike.
09:25I see.
09:27Now, you need something different to win you the vote.
09:30The Galaxy Girls are doing Africa,
09:32and everyone's heard that about 60 billion times
09:34in the last couple of months.
09:36I just wish my head didn't feel so muzzy.
09:38I can't think straight.
09:41Do you feel all dizzy, like your head's full of cotton wool?
09:44Yeah.
09:45Yeah, me too.
09:46I wonder what it is.
09:48I thought it was a hangover,
09:49but it can't be if you've got it too.
09:52Well, well, well, well.
09:53Who's been rattling the bars of Professor Breland's cage, eh?
09:57I only asked them to hand out the prizes for talent contest.
10:00I nearly bit my head off.
10:01Well, I wouldn't know, Byron.
10:02Breland and I...
10:03Right.
10:04Elementary particle physics, module seven.
10:07If everybody's here, we shall begin.
10:11And what are you doing here, Mr. Wilkinson?
10:27Hello, Charles.
10:28How do you like my paradiddle?
10:30Very good.
10:31I was just wondering how long you're going to be.
10:33I need to talk to you.
10:33Oh, well, we're booked in here for another half hour.
10:35It's the last of hell that we're going to get.
10:38Oh, I'm sorry, Charles, it can wait, can't it?
10:40I mean, it's not that important, is it, surely?
10:41Oh, well, who can say, Mercedes?
10:44Who can say?
10:46Oh, God.
10:48Older men, why are they so possessive?
10:51Well, you can't say I didn't warn you.
10:52Oh, shut up.
10:53Oh, look, come on, let's get this cracked.
10:55Otherwise, you're demoted to the maracas, girl.
10:57No!
10:57Yes!
11:01We'll have to come up with a name, too.
11:02Something catchy.
11:04Oh, and we'll have to think about costumes.
11:07Do you feel itchy?
11:09Yeah.
11:09I've been itchy since I got up this morning.
11:11Yeah, me too.
11:13Perhaps we should go to Medicom.
11:15Right.
11:17Those of you who haven't handed in your presentations
11:19for mediating particles for force fields,
11:21can I have them in by the end of the week, please?
11:25Okay, that's it.
11:32Are you coming down for lunch?
11:34No, I think I'll skip it.
11:36I've got a lot of catching up to do.
11:38You really should eat, you know.
11:39Yes, I know.
11:40I will, later.
11:43Well, I'll be in the common room if you change your mind.
11:45Okay.
11:52Hello.
11:52Hello.
11:53Are you free?
11:54Can we talk?
11:54Yes, of course.
11:56Brought us some lunch.
12:01About last night, Professor,
12:05I'd really be very grateful if you just forget it.
12:09I was confused and I didn't really know what I was doing.
12:15I'm sorry.
12:18I'm really, I'm very sorry.
12:20Shut up.
12:21Come and have your lunch.
12:22Far too thin.
12:25Isn't it about time we dropped all this professor nonsense, eh?
12:32You shouldn't have mentioned Medicom in front of Belinda.
12:35She's a Martian fundamentalist.
12:37Well, I thought she was a Christian scientist.
12:38Well, she used to be, but the Martian fundamentalists are far more strict.
12:42Oh, well, we don't have to die because of her beliefs, do we?
12:45No.
12:46She's a very sensitive girl.
12:48Oh, she's very quiet, too.
12:50She's led a sheltered light.
12:51Open!
12:52It's already a few, but if a man doesn't eat, he dies.
12:54Now, what seems to be the problem?
12:55Uh, we both feel dreadful, hot, sweaty and dizzy.
12:58Yeah, and we can't stop itching.
12:59Okay, what have you both eaten in the last 24 hours?
13:02Uh, I had ratatouille last night.
13:04Mm-hmm.
13:04And I had a fruit salad.
13:05Right, um, yeah, well, who didn't?
13:08Rebecca seems to think we're in imminent danger of beriberi.
13:10Yeah, well, there's a fruit glut.
13:11Too many bananas.
13:12Water?
13:12Have I ever been drinking the experimental water?
13:14No.
13:14No, they haven't finished their flesh in yet.
13:16Okay, well, let's check you over on MediCon.
13:18Chop, chop, my lunch is getting cold.
13:19I didn't sleep a jot last night.
13:21No, nor me.
13:23Shh.
13:23I won't hear me through.
13:27All this has made me realise that what I've been going through with Mercedes
13:32has been complete, utter fuss.
13:36We've been slowly destroying each other in the name of love.
13:41What I've been feeling recently has closely bordered on hate on more than one occasion.
13:44Doug, that's awful.
13:46No.
13:46No, it's not awful at all.
13:48It's a massive relief that at last I've come to my senses.
13:52And do you know the one deep regret that I have?
13:56No.
13:58That last night didn't happen sooner.
14:00No.
14:15Well, you've both got a slight temperature.
14:17It might be an allergic reaction to vitamin C if you've been eating too much fruit.
14:21Well, can't you give us anything for it?
14:22No point.
14:23MediCon can't find anything wrong.
14:25Well, nothing it recognises anyway.
14:27Now, are you sure you haven't drunk any water from Daniel's lab test?
14:29We haven't.
14:30OK.
14:31We'll just carry on as normal and come back if it gets worse.
14:33And don't worry, huh?
14:35Well, we've got lots to do.
14:37Maybe it's a sake our minds open.
14:38That's the spirit, Anna.
14:40And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm starving.
14:42Open.
14:43God, you wouldn't think he was paid 250,000 ackiers a year to look after us, would you?
14:48Oh, well.
14:49Any more brainwaves on the show?
14:51Yeah.
14:53Well, you know all this fruit we're having to get through?
14:56Mm-hmm.
14:57Have you ever heard of Carmen Miranda?
14:59No.
15:01Well.
15:02I don't know what to think.
15:04Of course you don't.
15:05I wouldn't expect you to.
15:07I think this has taken us both by surprise.
15:12What are we going to do?
15:14Well, I want you to take the rest of the afternoon off work and just think about what all this
15:17means.
15:18I don't want you to feel I'm putting any pressure on you.
15:21And, uh, what about Mercedes?
15:25Mercedes.
15:27Mercedes has no bearing on the matter whatsoever.
15:40Oh, God, this is disgusting.
15:42We're all going to look pregnant, all three of us.
15:45Well, it's better than Melody and skin-tight lycra anyway.
15:47We can make ours shorter than hers.
15:49Well, we've got no chance now anyway.
15:51Not with Ariadne in a belly dancer's outfit.
15:54Well, we might come second.
15:56There's not exactly a lot of competition.
15:58Don't do.
15:59Hiya.
16:00Hi, how are you feeling?
16:02Oh, not too good, but Medicom said there's nothing wrong.
16:04Well, that's stupid.
16:05Anyone can see you look dreadful enough.
16:08Hey, could I borrow that?
16:11Well, please.
16:13Yeah, sure, I don't mind, yeah.
16:15Oh, thanks.
16:19She probably wants it for ear mouths or something.
16:21Yeah.
16:23Ladies and gentlemen, welcome and bienvenue and welcome to the Talent Unlimited Extravaganza.
16:33Without further ado, it's my very real pleasure, ladies and gentlemen, to introduce to you
16:38the three and only truly original Galaxy Girls.
17:20You're not nervous, are you?
17:23Nervous?
17:23Since when have you ever seen me nervous?
17:26You are?
17:26Your knees are knocking.
17:27Of course I'm nervous.
17:29Bloody terrified.
17:30I'm going to make a mess of it and forget my paradiddle and make a complete and utter fool of
17:34myself.
17:35Impossible.
17:37Look, I've got to be in the bridge in half an hour.
17:40Sorry, Mercedes.
17:41But you're in too deep.
17:42There's no way out.
17:43Come on.
17:44We're up next.
17:52What is Charles going to think?
18:02Ladies and gentlemen, the Galaxy Girls.
18:06Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, and now for what I can think you will consider
18:09it to be a very real treat indeed, our very own Paul Fitzroy Drummond and Mercedes Me Jane
18:15Page, otherwise known as El Mondo del Bongo.
18:35Come on, Miss Wicks.
18:40Come on.
18:42Come on.
18:42We've got to get you through.
18:47I don't have the nerve! Brothers in the room for us, Billy!
19:01You still itching?
19:03Yeah.
19:05Christophe? Yes?
19:07If I faint or anything, will you program them off?
19:10You're not going to faint. Don't worry. Open.
19:13Petra, get me a direct line to Space City Medical Center.
19:15Priority code, Gamma 49.
19:19Then get me the bridge.
19:25Ladies and gentlemen, Armando del Bongo!
19:29Ladies and gentlemen, I mean to say, you think you know somebody
19:31that come out and surprise you like this.
19:32Who could have guessed that Commander Drummond had such a wonderful...
19:35pair of legs?
19:38Ladies and gentlemen, Armando del Bongo!
19:39Thank you!
19:40Yay!
19:42Now, the true identity of the last act is a mystery to me since our late entry,
19:46but please, please, give a very warm, illia welcome to...
19:49The Jungle Jezebels!
20:07We had the big
20:07But a loto each worth hours a year important thing about her play,
20:13read or whatever the of us stood out,
20:15towards the same,omy
20:17children a notre vie. To
20:19help姿迫加 police hall, be
20:20it, and临
20:20COVID 그걸 reduction in the sky, to argue with
20:20their thoughts. They be,
20:20so no, we can play
20:20them on the train! I witnesses,
20:21Oh, my God, it's a tropical, it's a chiquita.
20:27Hola.
20:29Hola.
20:32Temperature 102, extensive rash across upper torso,
20:36faintness and giddiness, complaints of...
20:39Please diagnose and advise. Message ends.
20:44Hanna Pagani.
20:48Hanna Pagani.
20:51CHEERING
20:57CHEERING
20:57CHEERING
20:58CHEERING
20:58CHEERING
20:59CHEERING
21:03Have you got it? Uh-huh.
21:05I'd better go and get changed. If Charles catches me and there's gear on duty, he's gonna go ballistic.
21:09Yeah, let's just hear the results.
21:10I suppose I'd better find him and talk to him.
21:13Do you know, I couldn't help Mason you walked off after your ex.
21:16Yeah, I know, they don't know how to have fun, those two, either of them.
21:19Ariadne Smallbone and a snake in a basket.
21:22I wish I can play it.
21:23What a sight of my brother.
21:26In second.
21:27In second place, and where are they?
21:30Dying of embarrassment, no doubt.
21:32Paul Fitzroy.
21:33Yes!
21:35Woo-hoo!
21:36Brilliant!
21:39And now, in first place, and who else could it possibly have been?
21:43Who the hell is he?
21:43The Jungle Jezebel!
21:46Woo-hoo!
21:51Woo-hoo!
21:55Woo-hoo!
21:59Woo-hoo!
21:59Woo-hoo!
22:01God, Bulldog, he's sulking.
22:03What am I gonna do?
22:04Anyone would think it was him who was half my age.
22:07Forget him!
22:08We should be congratulating ourselves.
22:10Forget him?
22:11How can I forget him?
22:12I'm engaged to him.
22:14And all we do is argue.
22:16I'm sick of it.
22:18Yes, well, it does appear that way.
22:22Petra, get me Charles Brelin.
22:24Professor Brelin not available.
22:25Where the hell is he?
22:26Oh, he's probably gone to Lab 5.
22:28Petra, a security scan of Lab 5?
22:30That is breaching the Privacy Act.
22:32So what?
22:33She collapsed.
22:34She collapsed.
22:35She just collapsed.
22:35Okay, just keep her warm and I'll be with you in five minutes.
22:39Message from Space City MediCenter.
22:41Okay, go ahead, Petra.
22:42Symptoms tally with outbreak of epidemic on Island 5.
22:46Illness not seen in space for 15 years.
22:50Space City queries whether anyone on Ilia from Island 5.
22:54If affirmative, they are likely to be a carrier.
22:59I've thought about it all day.
23:02And I know what I want.
23:06Deep down I know it's right.
23:09But I'm just so afraid of being hurt again.
23:16You won't be.
23:18Believe me.
23:36Outre estranged.
23:38Which is really important.
23:39I know it's not going to be such a good question.
23:40You won't be.
23:43You won't be.
23:44I know it's going to be so good.
23:44It's going to be so good.
23:44Up and out!
23:45Go!
23:46Go!
23:49Go!
23:53Go!
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