- 3 weeks ago
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00:00Tumbling through an interdimensional vortex, Warren and Lucy discover twisted versions of their own world, always hoping the next one will be home.
00:30Oh, that's Mrs. Schrodinger.
00:55Why does she keep dying? This is like the fifth time.
00:58Her clothes, it's like we've landed in some corny murder mystery cosplay.
01:03Cos-what?
01:04Cosplay. Where people dress up as their favourite characters.
01:08Remember when I dressed up as She-Hulk and left green footprints all over the house?
01:11Oh, oh, like when your mum dressed up like a nurse for my birthday.
01:15Whoa, TMI, Dad. And that's roleplay, not cosplay.
01:19I used to watch heaps of murder shows with mum. Right about now, someone always runs in and says-
01:23Ah! Lady Schrodinger is dead!
01:27Wow. Cosplay.
01:30Oh, Inspector, thank God you're here. What's happened?
01:34Oh! Oh! Oh!
01:37Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho! Check out your fellas' hard-out costumes! What a crack-up!
01:42You have an interesting accent, Inspector. What is hard-out, Gregor?
01:47Uh, more importantly, what on earth happened to Lady Schrodinger?
01:51Dead. I think the Vortex wants us to solve a murder.
01:55Oh, okay. I'll play along.
01:58Looks like she got...
02:01The horn.
02:03Yaaaaaaaaaah!
02:04Victor! This is no time for jokes!
02:07Good Lord, man. A woman is dead!
02:10You said murder mystery. I was doing CSI Miami.
02:13Wrong kind of murder tone.
02:16So, uh, who are you all?
02:19Laurel Dubois, Lady Schrodinger's nurse, and yes, I am a spinster.
02:25The Reverend Ian Worthington, din, din, din.
02:29I think I need a sherry.
02:32Colonel Murray Fanshawe, at your service!
02:35Maz, when did you join the army?
02:38Oh, my God! She's dead!
02:41Oh, the horror! I can't stand it!
02:44I was in the war, you know.
02:48Dr. Darwin Edwards, Professor of Peculiar Weapons at Oxford.
02:53Uh, Bull. Bridges, the gunkeeper.
02:56Always forgetting I'd set my cup off.
02:59I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, Inspector,
03:02but the thunder wettled the mansion,
03:04which must have caused the trophy to fall from the wall.
03:06Nothing but a bit of woosh taxidermy.
03:08Spot of bad weather and a bit of what and luck, old bean.
03:11That's ridiculous.
03:13She's on top of the trophy.
03:15If it had fallen off, it would be on top of her.
03:18This is no accident.
03:23Ha!
03:25Brilliant police work, Inspector.
03:27Uh, actually, I was the one that...
03:29Oh, all of a sudden, I feel a little lightheaded.
03:32Oh, oh!
03:34Oh, Inspector, you have very strong arms.
03:39Are you sure we haven't met before?
03:41Well, uh...
03:42Inspector?
03:43I need to speak to you in private.
03:46Right now.
03:48So, it's all like one of those stupid old-school English murder mysteries.
03:52If you found a dead person, you'd be traumatised for the rest of your life.
03:55But these people just carry on like, la-di-da-di-da, oh, a dead body.
03:58Better have a cup of tea, old chap.
04:00Dad, are you listening to me?
04:02Check out these out of its sweets. Look, look.
04:04Nicotine chews, whale blubber gum, black and white minstrel lollies.
04:08Racist lollies.
04:10That's the 1930s. Everything was racist back then.
04:13Look.
04:14We're trapped in a murder mystery, and we're the detectives.
04:17So, I reckon, if we solve the murder, vortex opens. Boom shakalaka.
04:22Easy. It'll be the butler. It's always the butler.
04:24Dad, focus.
04:26I think we need to play this whole thing out.
04:28Okay? They won't listen to me.
04:29But they will listen to smart Inspector Harrison.
04:35Well, I just wanted to know what it tastes like.
04:38He's dead.
04:41I suspect murder.
04:54Oh, I suspect murder.
04:59But now, it's up to the brilliant Inspector Harrison to solve this heinous crime.
05:12Oh, yes, sweet ass.
05:14Ah, kia ora tatou.
05:15I bet you're probably wondering why I, the brilliant detective fellow, have assembled you all here today.
05:21Because of the murders?
05:23Aha.
05:24What do you know about the murders?
05:26Oh, Lady Schrodinger has been murdered and also now the Reverend.
05:31Their bodies are literally right here.
05:34So, er, what are you, like, French or something?
05:37May we?
05:38May we answer the question?
05:42I smell arsenic in the Cherie Cherie.
05:45I know this because I am a French spinster nurse.
05:48And the Cherie came from swoothing his drinks, Tway.
05:51It was intended for her.
05:53The Reverend was just collateral damage.
05:55Someone poisoned her Cherie and impaled her on the trophy?
05:59Oh, someone really wanted her dead.
06:02Although, to be fair, she was a member.
06:04No, no, no, her death was a great loss and she will be dearly missed, as will the Reverend.
06:10When will this ridiculous farce be over?
06:13I have many things to be doing, huh?
06:15What the inspector is trying to say is,
06:17we're going to have to question you all individually to see if your stories add up.
06:21Because the murderer has to be someone in this room.
06:25I was in my quarters, rehearsing for my latest masterpiece.
06:41But little did I know that I would be cast in the real-life role of murderer.
06:46Of course, I am innocent.
06:50Wait, no.
06:51That was too wooden. May I try that again?
06:55Please.
06:57I tell you, innocent!
07:03Wow.
07:05You're brilliant.
07:07Oh, you're too kind.
07:08I'm really just a-
07:09Big, hairy bear of a man, covered in blood and gunpowder.
07:14Look, I'm not here to listen to your war stories, Boomer.
07:17What I need to know is, did you have reason to kill Mrs Schrodinger?
07:21You think that I lifted her onto those stags' horns?
07:25Not a chance.
07:26I've got seven bullets still stuck in my chest, and a dicky knee, and a skittish bladder.
07:33In many ways, I left my manhood on that field in France.
07:37A manhood?
07:38Yes, it was.
07:39Shrivel de lifeless, yeah.
07:40The worst souffle I've ever made.
07:43Then I heard the scream.
07:45I saw the colonel near the drawing room when I ran from the kitchen, and he was not limping.
07:56Limping?
07:57Limping.
07:58Between you and me, that man has never fought in the war.
08:02Ugh.
08:03And his injuries, uh, puh.
08:05You know, maybe some, uh, swelling around his-
08:08Glistening, low-hanging plums.
08:11I developed a real taste for them in the jungles of Makunda.
08:16Sadly, they were poisonous.
08:18I developed sepsis, lost both my hands.
08:21Ha, ha, ha.
08:22And I couldn't whiff anyone.
08:25With these-
08:26With these-
08:27With shaping oaks of wood.
08:29I chopped the wood to take out my frustration at the lady of the house.
08:32She shot and killed my pet stag, you see, and mounted his head on the wall.
08:38But I didn't kill her, though.
08:40I didn't.
08:43I have a question for you, Inspector.
08:46But I might.
08:48Would you help me rehearse a scene?
08:51I think you'd make a wonderful leading man.
08:54Mm.
08:57It's a low scene.
09:02Absolutely.
09:10Where is the inspector?
09:12He's, uh, just finishing his investigation.
09:18Ah, sorry, I'm late though.
09:19I was just immersing myself in some, uh, role play.
09:23Well, whilst you were immersing, I've solved the murder.
09:27The killer is...
09:28Chief Inspector Doyle.
09:29Scotland Yard.
09:30Chief Inspector?
09:31No.
09:32You're my boss.
09:33You've been drawing on your face again, Harrison.
09:34Goodness gracious me.
09:35Have you managed to solve this pickle scratcher yet?
09:36As a matter of fact, I have.
09:37I very much doubt that.
09:38All evidence points to...
09:39Beau, the disgruntled gardener.
09:41The disgruntled gardener.
09:42Oh.
09:43Oh.
09:44Chief Inspector Doyle.
09:45Oh.
09:46Oh.
09:47Oh.
09:48Oh.
09:49Oh.
09:50Oh.
09:51Oh.
09:52Oh.
09:53Oh.
09:54Oh.
09:55Oh.
09:56Oh.
09:57Oh.
09:58Oh.
09:59Oh.
10:00Oh.
10:01Oh.
10:02Oh.
10:03Oh.
10:04Oh.
10:05Oh.
10:06Oh.
10:07Oh.
10:08Oh.
10:09Oh.
10:10Oh.
10:11hmm very well i rest in the name of the king i didn't do nothing copper but maybe i deserve
10:19present time for being a common working man but someone wanted us to think it was someone else
10:27someone who knew the poison was arsenic and had access to pharmaceuticals
10:33someone who's known for their impatience when will this be over she poisoned the tea
10:38poisoned the sherry and then when she got tired of waiting impaled lady schroeniger on the stag's
10:43head in barrier i deny all of this how could i possibly lift her nurse laurel you're an olympic
10:51gold medalist nespa may we it don't kill a prove have you participated wit lifting
11:03based on my many years of police work and the fact that i'm a pretty awesome detective
11:07i conclude that the murderer is none other but mostly and i rest in the name of the king
11:14free cheers for inspector doyle away for he's a joey good farewell for he's a joey good
11:21farewell he's a joey good farewell and nobody can deny but i solved the matter yeah well maybe they
11:31just need to hear it in a man's voice honey oh i hate the 1930s so hard right now
11:44what you're kidding me why are we back here we solved the murder
11:49you ever notice wherever we go mrs s keeps dying oh so it's a different murder this time now what is
12:01the meaning of all this noise professor darren's been murdered well i think it's pretty obvious who
12:09did this
12:12he was murdered by
12:13a zulu this place is reset with a new murder i guess the vortex won't let us leave until we find
12:23who the real killer is it's like we've stuck in one of those never-ending episodes of black mirror
12:30stop eating that racist toffee but it's so good though maybe that's how they get you it's gonna make me
12:36racist i don't think that's how that works we have to find the killer or we'll be forced to repeat the
12:41sexist racist world over and over let's interview them all again
12:49i've known the professor for years we first crossed paths in the amazon where he had the nerve to swipe
12:55a sacred idol from the tribe that took me in as one of their own
12:59you always smelt like cucumbers never trust a man who eats cucumbers they are the devil's fruit
13:11evil cucumbers this is such a cuddle moodle professor darren wait so you're german now i mean like yeah
13:21i mean like yeah i mean like yeah i mean like yeah i mean like yeah i mean like yeah
13:28the killer is
13:40chief inspector doyle scotland yard save yourself to yet yeah but you're not gonna like it
13:46it was he she was sympathetic to the plight of the native tribe professor darren
13:53was exploiting her motive vengeful justice
14:02this is an absolutely ghastly travesty of justice it's simply unbearable
14:08she's a wriggler i will wait for you you'll be waiting a while
14:13dad just a reminder that isn't mum
14:24you're kidding me this is like groundhog day but with more murder and less bill murray
14:30come on dad let's go another one
14:33oh no not my beautiful anymore
14:36i think she's been poisoned so what i don't know much about such things i'm just a humble gardener
14:46not my darling anymore dad again it's not mum no i know it sort of
15:02the killer is
15:03chief inspector doyle goal in yard nurse laurel with her medical experience is obviously the
15:16murderer again again blah blah blah i risk you in the name of blah blah blah struth i'm not some
15:23flaming galah who's gonna get locked up for something i didn't even do never trust an australian
15:28they're a penal coronary you know it's just gonna reset us again isn't it i reckon
15:36maybe it's not about solving the murder what else are we supposed to do prevent the murder
15:41huh
15:41well i was too late wait i was right it was the butler in the drawing room with the candlestick
16:01if only it were that simple
16:08why is he so handsome apart from that the 90s called mate they want the goatee back
16:29can you hear that lucy some kind of high-pitched whining sound like a little baby crying
16:34i can't pull off the awesome timeless style of a van dyke beard
16:39look at your haircuts you reek of effort
16:44did he just call her lucy fascinating father i always figured there'd be alternate versions
16:51of us out there wait you're us whenever you turned up to a new world didn't you wonder
16:58where the other versions of you were you're lost in the vortex too check out the big brain
17:05on brads rude when we got here we figured out that whenever we kill someone the vortex opens
17:13we're on our last person but no vortex then you turn up
17:20nah nah don't get it you're gonna have to draw me a diagram or something because
17:28am i really that steward i would say so yes rude this version even more so
17:36i don't like this version of you me neither the feeling's mutual
17:41so let's just kill them and get it over with dad run
17:45yes we didn't want to take any chances this time so we killed everyone
17:59we're not too different we both have to be the smartest person in the room am i right
18:07no i would never kill anyone and you have bangs what are you an evil dora the explorer
18:13how dare you they perfectly frame my face
18:17so you're evil me eh no you're inferior me so basic i bet your favorite food is barbecue
18:36hey don't dis barbecue food man you know the only thing worse than barbecue food
18:40barbecue sauce what do you put on your steak then i don't eat steak i eat baby seals orphaned baby
18:51seals you monster
18:53speaker doyle's got what in the gd bench is going on here uh chief inspector he's an evil duplicate of me
19:08shoot him no he's the evil one look he's even got an evil goatee
19:12yes that goatee does look pretty evil it's van dyke beard well that's obvious i'm dressed like a cop
19:17he's dressed like a butler i'm undercover all right shut up the both of you i need to hear myself thing
19:21so you're him he's you uh you he's got a goatee and you don't this is giving me a nosebleed
19:29oh mama is that a kettle stick that is a surprisingly lethal weapon isn't it yes
19:37oh warren time to die
19:45how do you have those i've always had things
19:56why don't you
19:58oh you haven't figured it out yet
20:03it looks like we're even stevens he kept forgetting the golden roller there's always room for sauce
20:27i
20:28it's bad
20:31looks like things are
20:34heated up
20:35watch out for the
20:38window
20:39window
20:41okay don't freak out what do you mean
21:02aww they're all dead
21:05what's happening did we just go through the vortex or something
21:16no i think this is something different
21:18i'm pretty sure it was all a simulation created by this machine
21:22it's like the holotech on star trek
21:27um you keep forgetting i don't speak nerd honey
21:29okay so was it like one of your video games
21:32and were the evil versions of us were they part of it
21:34no they were real
21:38yeah real dicks
21:41warren
21:41lucy
21:44oh i must have dozed off
21:51watching one of my virtual murder mystery sims
21:54i just
21:56i do enjoy a good murder
21:58i can't believe you're finally back
22:04after all this time
22:06what was that thing on your head
22:08well my grey hair on me sims helmet
22:11oh it's just so good to see you too
22:16hold on
22:19you're different
22:21you used to have a goatee
22:25and your hair is awful
22:29i better put the kettle on now
22:33oh they've gone
22:45what's pretty
22:47i was gonna poison their tea
22:50looks normal
23:05are we back
23:08only one way to find out
23:10well
23:15and
23:16i know
23:17what's that thing so bad
23:18i know
23:19i know
23:20and
23:21i know
23:22where's it
23:23Looks like she got the horn.
23:53Victor, this is no time for jokes.
23:56Good lord, man, a woman is dead.
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