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00:01President Trump is making wildly conflicting comments about the war with Iran.
00:06Trump made contradictory claims about when the war could end.
00:09Mr. President, you've said the war is, quote, very complete,
00:12but your defense secretary says this is just the beginning.
00:15So which is it, and how long should Americans be prepared for this war to last?
00:17Well, I think you could say both.
00:25Closing time.
00:27Open up and close it
00:29Cause we're stopping and beginning the end
00:35Closing time
00:36What don't you understand?
00:39It's the finish and the start and it's done
00:45I know I sound like I am his joke
00:50Does anyone else smell burning toast?
00:55Our brain works and also it is broke
01:00Start or stop
01:06Or both
01:08It's the Lick Show with Stephen Colbert
01:31And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert!
02:03Welcome friends to the Lick Show, I'm your host Stephen Colbert
02:09You know what, I hope you guys got out today, it was a fantastic day in New York, it was
02:1470s, sunny, it would be a great day to hold a parade, and I guess we should, because according to
02:22the president, the war in Iran is over.
02:26Yesterday, he told a CBS reporter, I think the war is very complete, pretty much, oh so it's not totally
02:37over, oh now it seems weird that I ran out of Times Square and French kissed an Elmo
02:53Coughing up red fur all day
02:55After he declared victory, Trump tried to reassure a nervous GOP that despite the recent spike in the price of
03:02oil, his war is no biggie
03:04We took a little excursion, because we felt we had to do that to get rid of some evil, and
03:10I think you'll see it's going to be a short term excursion
03:13Yes, just a little, little excursion, little short term excursion, just like Royal Caribbean Cruises, where you can choose excursions
03:23between snorkeling, rum tasting, and regime change
03:28Yeah, that's an upcharge, that's an upcharge
03:31Regime change is a little, it's a little bit, it's great though, midnight regime change
03:36Trump doubled down on his peace message yesterday at a press conference at his Doral Golf Club
03:41A reporter asked him about the apparent inconsistency in his administration's messages
03:46You've said the war is, quote, very complete, but your defense secretary says this is just the beginning, so which
03:52is it, and how long should Americans be prepared for this point of March?
03:54Well, I think you can say it both
03:57So, so it's over, but somehow still going
04:01It's the military strategy known as Grey's Anatomy
04:06It's a quality show
04:08I'm a huge Alan Pompeo fan
04:13Trump kept trying to have it both ways
04:15We could call it a tremendous success right now as we leave here, I could call it
04:19Or we could go further, and we're going to go further
04:23Oh, okay
04:25So we've achieved success, but we're not going to stop
04:28It's like, it's like that Kenny Rogers song
04:31You gotta know when to hold them
04:34Know when to hold them
04:37Know when to hold them
04:39Know when to hold them
04:44Hours
04:44Hours
04:45Hours
04:45Hours
04:45We love Kenny
04:47We miss you, Kenny
04:53Hours after declaring the war over, Trump took to social media to threaten Iran over the Strait of Hormuz
05:00Which brings me to Hormuz News You Can Use Part 2s
05:10Let's get straight to it
05:1220-30% of the world's oil passes through the Strait of Hormuz, making it a major player in the
05:18world of straits
05:19That's why it was disturbing when earlier today CBS News reported that U.S. intelligence assets have begun to see
05:26indications Iran is taking steps to deploy mines in the Strait of Hormuz shipping lane
05:31Oh, yeah
05:33That's not, that's not good, which means it's time to update the graphic
05:37It's now Hormuz News You Can Use Part 2s Ker-blues
05:52Trump was not happy with the report posting
05:54If Iran has put out any mines in the Hormuz Strait
05:58We have no reports of them doing so
05:59We want them removed immediately
06:02If for any reason mines were placed and they are not removed forthwith
06:06The military consequences into Iran will be at a level never seen before
06:12Oh, the gloves are off Iran
06:14If those mines aren't removed tonight, he's going to put a giant screen on your southern border and show you
06:20all the Melania movie
06:24Okay? Sorry
06:26Geneva Conventions be damned
06:30So far, this war has cost over $6 billion
06:33But burning through cash is nothing new for Secretary of War Pete Hegseth
06:37Because a government watchdog discovered that he blew billions on things like $5.3 million for new iPads
06:43$60,000 for Herman Miller recliners
06:47And $12,000 for fruit basket stands
06:50Wait, you're ordering what?
06:52That's what I think, what?
06:56Is that you?
06:57Did you say that out loud?
07:01Thank you for paying attention to the words I say, madam
07:14Either that or you just woke up in this theater
07:16What?
07:18Not again
07:22So anyway, $12,000 for fruit
07:24Okay
07:24Wait, you're ordering fruit?
07:26This is my emotional state, right?
07:27Okay
07:28You're ordering fruit baskets so fancy they come with a stand?
07:32Come on, Pete, if you need fruit at work, do the normal thing
07:35Put a clementine in your tote and find it three weeks later when it's a furry gray golf ball
07:41Hegseth also
07:44I'm with her
07:47Hegseth also went all out on the buffet
07:50Reportedly, the Pentagon spent $2 million on crab legs
07:53$6.9 million on lobster tail
07:56Selling over $15 million on ribeye steaks
08:00No, no, no, no, no, boo
08:03They're just hearkening back to our founders
08:06As Paul Revere declared on his famous ride
08:08One-if by surf, two-if by turf
08:13It wasn't all
08:14It wasn't all high-class food
08:21They also spent $140,000 on doughnuts
08:25$124,000 on ice cream machines
08:27And $3,160 on stickers with characters from Door the Explorer, Frozen, and Paw Patrol
08:34And despite all that, no one came to Pete Hegseth's birthday party
08:39It was
08:47This was an historic splurge
08:49In 2025 alone, the Pentagon spent $225 million on new furniture
08:54Which is more in one year than it had in over a decade
08:57And I'm being told we have a photo of the government employee ordering all that furniture
09:12Now, most of these purchases have no military purpose
09:15For instance, Hegseth spent over $98,000 for a Steinway Grand Piano
09:21For the Air Force Chief of Staff's home
09:23What kind of Air Force Chief of Staff?
09:26I agree
09:28What kind of Air Force Chief of Staff needs a Grand Piano?
09:31Okay, that makes sense
09:33Trump also has big plans for America's feet
09:36I'll tell you all about it in tonight's Shoes News
09:42Shoes!
09:45We've got to get those Shoes News to the Strait of Hormuz
09:52Reportedly, the president has started doling out dress shoes to friends and advisors
09:57Guessing people's shoe size in front of them
09:59And a week later sending them a pair of Florsheim wingtips
10:03You know, there's a word for a leader selecting clothing for his disciples
10:08It's cult!
10:12Put on the Florsheims as father instructs
10:15Then slip on the purple poncho and prepare to board the comet for our journey to Sky-a-Lago
10:24And it's not just a couple of...
10:29I put even less effort into that impression than usual just then
10:32It's not just a couple of pairs of shoes, folks
10:35White House officials are saying,
10:36All the boys have them, and it's hysterical
10:39Because everybody's afraid to not wear them
10:42Ha-ha!
10:44Hysterical!
10:45Just like that classic joke
10:46Knock, knock!
10:47Who's there?
10:48It's the man who checks the shoes!
10:49I see you're not wearing them!
10:50Get in the van!
10:53So far, the folks seen wearing Trump's mandatory man-shoe include J.D. Vance, Marco Rubio,
11:02Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Commerce Secretary Howard
11:07Lutnick, Sean Hannity, and Senator Lindsey Graham
11:10Or as they're collectively known, Trump's wet little shoe cucks
11:13Now check out...
11:17That's not nice!
11:19That's not a nice thing to say!
11:22Let's take that out!
11:26Check them out, sporting their matching brogues in Davos
11:30But remember, Trump is just guessing at their shoe sizes
11:33He's not measuring them
11:36He's guessing, then ordering, and sometimes he actually overshoots
11:41Take a look at J.D. Vance and Marco Rubio's itty-bitty ankles
11:45Drowning in their giant clown shoes
11:48What is crazier than that?
11:56Here's another recent shot of Marco's actual feet
12:00Where he looks like a kid who tried on his dad's shoes to pretend to be secretary of big boys
12:15One person...
12:18One more person confused by the shoes is the owner of the shoe company
12:22Who said he was unaware of the president's orders and declined to comment further
12:28Not great when your shoes become associated with a widely reviled madman
12:32It's why Nike stopped making the Air Jared from Subways
12:38We've got a great show for you tonight
12:40My guests on the show are Dave Matthews
12:43But we will come back
12:45Meanwhile, keep joining us on TV
13:14Give it up for Louis Cato and the great Big Joy Machine!
13:21Pound that in!
13:23Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the news
13:26kitchen
13:27Simmering the most topical Hamburg Parsley Turnip Alta Sweet Rutabaga and Carrots with Roasted Garlic
13:32Before mashing with Skogs Brackens Butter and Arleco Heavy Cream
13:36And freshly grated Nutmeg to make the balanced and hearty Swedish Rotmos that is my monologue
13:41But sometimes, sometimes, folks, I, uh...
13:47Sometimes I startle a raccoon into hocking up its partially chewed watermelon rind
13:52into a discarded tuna can filled with drained water and dine out on the puddle-chud of news that is
13:57my segment
14:00Meanwhile!
14:05That's the only award I ever need is Meanwhile!
14:07That's the only honor I ever need
14:12Meanwhile, in Washington State, in the past few months, callers to Washington's Department of Licensing
14:18who have requested service in Spanish have instead heard an AI voice speaking English in a strong Spanish accent
14:27That's a big no-no
14:29Or, as they say in Spanish, no-no
14:34Is there video? Ah, you betcha!
14:37You push two for Spanish, and this is what you got
14:40Thank you for calling the Department of Licensing Customer Support Center
14:45For assistance with scheduling a driver licensing office appointment
14:49Man, my Spanish is getting so good!
14:54I understood almost everything she said!
15:00Thank you!
15:01Meanwhile, the German woman who holds the Guinness World Record for the largest collection of Barbies
15:07earned a second title by identifying all the dolls while blindfolded
15:14So...
15:16By taste?
15:20Meanwhile, the Brady Bunch house has officially been declared an historic landmark
15:28As well it should be
15:30I mean, the Brady Bunch is truly an authentic television time capsule of our culture
15:35Because if you made a show these days with that many step-siblings, it would be porn
15:47Meanwhile, there's big primate news because researchers in Spain gave quartz and calcite to chimpanzees
15:53And it turns out that chimps are really into crystals
15:57All this time, we thought of chimps as our primate cousins
16:00But they're more like our primate aunt who lives in New Mexico
16:12Meanwhile, in June, the New York subway system will decide whether to play ads in subways
16:17that they're calling station audio advertisements
16:20Uh, we actually have audio...
16:24No, we actually have audio of one of the new ads
16:34And listen, I guarantee you, you will hear them because the MTA says the ads will play at 75 decibels
16:42Which is roughly the same volume as a vacuum cleaner
16:46Or chamber music in a small auditorium
16:49Now, it turns out that the people offering that measurement, the researchers
16:53Are from Yale University
16:56Chamber music in a small auditorium is the most Yale way to measure sound
17:02I've ever heard
17:03E-gags!
17:05Ah!
17:06What's that?
17:09Eighty decibels?
17:10Why, that's the volume of six whiff-and-poofs in distress
17:14What did you say?
17:16Oh, a vacuum cleaner?
17:17Yes, I suppose you could measure sound and power tools
17:20How very Cornell of you
17:27We are poor little lambs who have lost our way
17:32But these ads may end up being even louder
17:35Because the last time the MTA did this was a few years ago
17:38When they played ads for the Lion King
17:40Which they promised would only be 78 decibels
17:43But ended up playing at a staggering 99 decibels
17:46Which is louder than a blender
17:49Okay, I think they were just honoring that scene from the movie
17:52Laguna Madonna
17:54Ain't no passing craze
17:58It means that
18:03We'll be right back with Michelle Pfeiffer
18:09Come on!
18:12Hey!
18:14Baby!
18:16Here I am
18:32Welcome back, everybody!
18:34Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is an Oscar-nominated actress
18:39You know from Dangerous Liaisons, Batman Returns, and Ant-Man and the Wasp
18:44She now stars in The Madison
18:52Where are you going?
18:54It's your father
18:54So, where are you going?
18:57It is rude to talk on the phone in a restaurant
18:59It is also rude to play on your phone in a restaurant and serve the internet
19:04Basically, what all of you are doing right now is rude
19:08Rude to who?
19:10It's rude to me
19:11It's rude to each other
19:12It's rude to the staff
19:13Just rude
19:16Please welcome to The Late Show, Michelle Pfeiffer
19:20Oh, darling
19:23Please believe me
19:31I'll never do yet
19:42No, no, no. You sit. You sit. We stand. You're the guest. I'm the host.
19:51So nice to meet you. Thanks for coming on. I know. I can't believe I haven't been on your show
19:55before.
19:55Well, you do this a lot. It's nice to see you. I try to avoid it. Try to avoid it?
20:02Well, listen, you always seem like an actor who's incredibly thoughtful and discerning about the roles that she takes
20:10What was it about the Madison that drew you? Did you just look at the script and say, this is
20:16it for me?
20:17Actually, I committed. There was no script.
20:21They just gave you the name of the Madison and you had to guess?
20:24So is this a Taylor Sheridan joint? Is it one of those?
20:27Yeah, Taylor Sheridan and he asked, he said he had an idea and he wanted to meet me and so
20:33I, but I had to go to Texas to his ranch.
20:35Uh-huh. Which was beautiful and met some lovely people there and spent a few hours and he talked to
20:45me in broad through in broad strokes the the concept of it.
20:52And I left and did you know anything at that point? Like, do you feel like? Well, I got the
20:58idea.
21:00Yeah, yeah, but it was pretty basic, you know, and I said great. So I'd love to read something and
21:05he said no.
21:07So you had to commit, just like a leap of faith here?
21:10Yeah, he said no, I want to know who the actress is and then I write to that actress and
21:13I get it.
21:15That's a compliment.
21:15I said, but you know, I like to read something and then commit.
21:19Sure, yeah.
21:19And anyway, we went back and forth for a couple of weeks and then I realized that was not a
21:24battle I was going to win.
21:25Okay.
21:26So I committed sight unseen. I mean, it's a pretty good track record.
21:30Sure.
21:31And I liked his kind of a fish out of water story and I play Stacy Clyburn, the matriarch of
21:40a wealthy New York family who suffer a tragedy in their lives with fractures the family and they go to
21:52Montana.
21:53Like you do.
21:54And that's all I can tell you.
21:55Okay.
21:55Because that's what you do.
21:56I hear you reached out to a Taylor Sheridan like alumna to get a little of the lowdown.
22:03I did. I thought I have to find out something about this. And so I knew that Helen Mirren was
22:12doing a show with him.
22:13And I thought the 1923. Yes. And I loved and I know she doesn't suffer fools.
22:19And so she said, the scripts are great and best productions I've ever worked on.
22:24And I'm having a blast.
22:26So I thought no better recommendation right there.
22:29Also, this is another good one.
22:31I mean, I would take the job, if I knew this, that one of my co-stars was going to
22:34be Kurt Russell.
22:36And you two have worked together before.
22:39Here you are in Tequila Sunrise.
22:43Back in 88.
22:45Babies.
22:46I'm a huge fan. Just baby face.
22:48Was it nice to be reunited?
22:49It really was.
22:50And we were shooting and still hadn't cast Preston.
22:58And they were talking about various people.
23:02And they were like, yeah, okay, yeah, that's a good word.
23:05And then Kurt's name came up.
23:06And it was, that was it.
23:08It was, it has to be Kurt.
23:10But then he had a scheduling problem.
23:11And he was in and he was out and he was in and he was out.
23:14But I, I decided he was in and because I had to, I had to.
23:20Just internally?
23:21Just, yeah.
23:22Just, and Kurt has a big personality.
23:26Yeah, he has.
23:27We just had him on.
23:27Yeah.
23:28Oh, did you?
23:28And he's so, I don't know.
23:32He's just so joyful.
23:35And he comes in and he's just takes command.
23:38And he's, he's, you feel safe with him.
23:40He's got those damn dimples.
23:41Those dimples.
23:43I know.
23:43Come on.
23:44He just gets older and somehow it just gets, it gets sexier.
23:46And that hair.
23:46What about the hair?
23:47His hair is amazing.
23:49It's crazy.
23:50It's crazy.
23:51There's gotta be extensions, right?
23:52I know, I think.
23:54No way.
23:55There's no way.
23:55Something's going on there.
23:57Exactly.
23:57That's a Chia pet up there.
24:00We have to take a quick break.
24:01We'll be right back with more.
24:02Michelle Pfeiffer, everybody.
24:03Stick around.
24:11Hey, everybody.
24:12We're back with the star of The Madison.
24:16Michelle Pfeiffer.
24:18Now, okay, so as you say, your character goes off to the Montana wilderness.
24:22Um, do you enjoy, cause you shot in the Montana wilderness, right?
24:26We shot in the Montana wilderness.
24:27Montana played Montana in this.
24:29They, they, and Montana is the star of the show.
24:32Okay.
24:32Do you enjoy the Montana wilderness?
24:33And it is majestic.
24:35Are you outdoorsy?
24:37Um.
24:39I'm sure your character's outdoorsy.
24:40I can be.
24:41Okay.
24:42I can be.
24:42I don't, um, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm kind of a city mouse.
24:46Yeah.
24:47Um.
24:47So beautiful though.
24:48You must've loved being out in it.
24:48I loved it.
24:49And I have to say, you know, leaving at, um, leaving when the sun hasn't come up,
24:54but comes up on your way to work and going home as the sun is setting.
24:58Sure.
24:58The most beautiful, um, skies I've ever seen.
25:02And they call it, they call it big sky for a reason.
25:04Sure.
25:04So, yeah, we built, we were out in the middle of nowhere and they built,
25:07um, our cabin there and, um, we were kind of roughing it.
25:14Oh, yeah?
25:15Yeah.
25:15Yeah.
25:15Day, every day.
25:16I want to know about your, this co-star right here.
25:18Mm-hmm.
25:19I want to know about this co-star right here.
25:20That is a wolf.
25:23Is that a proper wolf?
25:25That is a proper wolf.
25:25They have a tiny bit of dog mixed in with them.
25:28Otherwise, they're not trainable.
25:29Right, yeah.
25:30Yeah.
25:32Um, and, um, he was beautiful and sweet.
25:37And, um, soulful.
25:39Look what you put in your mouth right up there.
25:40I know.
25:40That is so brave.
25:41I know.
25:42For a city mouse.
25:44I have a death wish, I guess.
25:45Mm-hmm.
25:46And do you have many scenes with this wolf?
25:48With the wolf?
25:48No, just one.
25:49Just one.
25:50Yeah.
25:50They said an interesting thing to me, though, as I was getting out of the car to come to
25:55the set to shoot the scene, um, one of the, um, uh, production assistants came up and said,
26:02are you wearing any leather?
26:05And I was.
26:07Uh, I was wearing a suede jacket.
26:10And they said, mm, okay, because, and I thought, oh, God, it's going to attack me.
26:16It's a good thing they asked me.
26:17And they said, no, no, no, no, you're safe.
26:20But it will make him very sad.
26:23Oh.
26:26But wolves are carnivorous.
26:30So it's okay for him to kill a cow, but not you.
26:33Yes, yes.
26:34I don't know.
26:34Maybe a dead animal that you haven't eaten makes them sad.
26:38I don't know.
26:39Oh, wow.
26:39So did you take off the suede jacket?
26:41Um, no, but there was something I wasn't able to do.
26:44So you made a wolf sad on purpose.
26:46Oh, oh, I know.
26:47I wasn't able to get really close to him.
26:49And so that picture was taken after the scene.
26:52And I stripped my jacket off and went over and kissed the wolf.
26:56Wow.
26:57Well, you also are in the fragrance business.
27:01I've always wanted to get my own fragrance.
27:02I am.
27:02Thank you for asking.
27:02Is that a hard process?
27:03It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
27:06Yeah.
27:06And, um, yeah, it continues to be.
27:09When my kids were young, I started, you know, reading labels and looking at ingredients.
27:15And anyway, one thing led to another, and I discovered that, um...
27:19This is it.
27:19Yeah, so it's a fragrance company.
27:21It's called Henry Rose.
27:23Henry Rose, named after my kids.
27:25Oh, Henry Ann Rose?
27:26Because they were the inspiration.
27:28And it's, um...
27:29Does it smell like your children?
27:30It's the safest.
27:32Because I wouldn't want things that smelled like my children.
27:35You know, kids don't smell that good sometimes.
27:38After the babies.
27:38I think I'm gonna...
27:39Would you like to try it?
27:40Uh, sure.
27:41Okay, ready?
27:47Oh, my gosh.
27:49Nice.
27:50I gotta...
27:52I gotta rush home to my wife.
27:54Thank you very much.
27:55And that's for you.
27:57This is for me?
27:57Yes.
27:58Or your wife.
27:59Oh, I'm gonna smell so much better.
28:01Thank you so much.
28:02It's so lovely to meet you, Michelle Pfeiffer.
28:07We'll be right back with Dave Matthews.
28:23Welcome back, everybody.
28:25Folks!
28:27My next guest tonight is a Grammy Award-winning artist who, with his band, has sold over 30
28:34million albums and 25 million concert tickets.
28:37Please welcome back to The Late Show, Dave Matthews.
29:02Come on.
29:03Hey, welcome back.
29:05Thank you very much.
29:06Nice to see you again.
29:06It's nice to...
29:07Nice to see you back in the friendly confines.
29:09I got all doll.
29:14I got...
29:15I got all dolled up for ya.
29:17I know.
29:17You look spiffy.
29:18I know.
29:19You got the...
29:19You got the shirt matches the jeans, and the jacket's all gray and somber and everything.
29:23Thank you so much.
29:25Dave Matthews' band.
29:25Dave Matthews' band, uh, summer tour kicks off.
29:29The band has toured every summer for years now.
29:31Um, uh, I'm just curious, as people love your live performances, are there live performances
29:36that you've seen, like, that blew you away and really influenced you?
29:40What sticks out to you?
29:42Um, so, uh, and I know you also love him.
29:45But I love...
29:46There's a lot of great shows in my life.
29:47But the one that's in my head right now is...
29:49Uh, I...
29:51I...
29:51And my family went with...
29:53We went to see David Byrne.
29:55Um...
29:55Sure, sure.
29:56And, uh...
29:57Yeah.
29:58And at his most recent tour with the screen...
30:01With the screens and with just crazy dancers in the band.
30:03It just was the most...
30:05And I was, you know, and I'm...
30:05And I'm like, I'm...
30:07I'm...
30:07I'm real emotional.
30:08And I got...
30:09And I was...
30:09And I was in the crying the whole time.
30:11I just...
30:11I'm just so...
30:11I'm so happy.
30:13I'm just crying the whole time.
30:14I'm probably a little bit older than you are.
30:16Yeah.
30:16But you look good.
30:17Thank you. You look fantastic.
30:18Exactly.
30:20But I was in college...
30:21I was in college when, uh, like, the Stop Making Sense, uh, movie came out.
30:27And, like, you know...
30:27One of the greatest...
30:28Speaking in Tongues album, which was before that.
30:30Just unbelievable.
30:31That...
30:31First time I met him, I could barely talk.
30:32Yeah.
30:33He's the truest, uh...
30:34He's the truest of artists.
30:36I just love...
30:37Because he's an art...
30:37Like, he's all-round.
30:39I mean, he's all...
30:40Every...
30:40I don't know.
30:41I lose my mind.
30:42I just...
30:42I'm just like, you!
30:43What do you mean all-round?
30:44He's all-round.
30:44I think he's visual artist.
30:47And he's lyrical artist.
30:48And he's...
30:48And he's subtle.
30:49And he's smart.
30:51And he's funny.
30:52And he's...
30:52Anyway, he's all good things wrapped into one.
30:55No.
30:56You could be describing yourself, Dave Masties.
30:59Oh, that's very generous.
31:01Okay, you were close to a remarkable person that humanity lost not that long ago.
31:07Jane Goodall.
31:08Yeah.
31:09Here is...
31:09This is a...
31:10Listen.
31:12This is a well-rounded person if they're friends with...
31:14Look.
31:14Talk about well-rounded.
31:16Getting in a tub with Jane Goodall.
31:18Not everybody has to do that.
31:19Yeah.
31:21Where is that?
31:22That's in Nebraska.
31:23We used to go a few times.
31:25We used to go?
31:26You and Jane Goodall would just go places together?
31:29Yeah.
31:29How did that...
31:30No, stop talking.
31:30How did that start?
31:32How does something like that start?
31:34Whiskey.
31:34Whiskey.
31:36How did you guys meet?
31:37What was the connection?
31:38We met at Live Earth, which was a giant carbon-emitting series of concerts that happened all over the world.
31:50And she was there, and I was there, and she was the high point.
31:54And so Leroy, our late sax player, and I, we were both sort of overwhelmed and sort of a little,
32:03you know, teary again.
32:04But, because she was there, and then she said, I, you know, um, I don't know what to do.
32:09I don't, um, I, I don't know how to talk to 60,000 people.
32:13And so, uh, then she just went out, and then she just said hello like a chimp.
32:17She did that whole, ho, ho, ho.
32:19She did that whole thing.
32:21And it was the loudest, the crowd lost their mind.
32:24The crowd was like, ah!
32:26I mean, it was, we, we are...
32:28Oh, a chimp mind.
32:29I mean, everyone...
32:29Everybody hit the chimp mind right away.
32:31Everyone...
32:31She touched it.
32:32It was, it was, anyway.
32:33Okay, I got, I got one other thing.
32:36Is that I understand, uh, you actually, when, you know, you saw Pete Seeger perform when you were a kid.
32:43That was my first concert that I remember.
32:45Pete Seeger was your first concert?
32:47Yeah, on the back of a flatbed truck.
32:49He was up there playing.
32:50Wow.
32:50It was unbelievable.
32:51Did you ever get any time, spend any time with him?
32:53No, not then.
32:54Oh, no, no.
32:55I mean, like, older?
32:56Oh, since, oh, yes.
32:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:57I got to interview him once.
32:58Let's talk about me.
32:59I got to talk, interview him once.
33:01And I was completely blown away.
33:02I rarely get intimidated, but it was Pete Seeger.
33:05Yeah, I mean, he's so, because he's, like, you, I don't want to say, because he's the, he was a
33:10perfect human.
33:11Yeah.
33:11You know?
33:12His banjo, what it said around the outside of the banjo.
33:14His banjo.
33:14And he spoke with, he was so eloquent.
33:17He had such a clear idea of what right and wrong was.
33:21He lived in a house with no electricity until his end.
33:25And I was at, he actually played, the last concert he played was Farm Aid, and we played together.
33:31Wow.
33:32And we, but we met, I got a good story.
33:34I'll squeeze it in.
33:35Squeeze it in.
33:36Squeeze it in.
33:37I got a good story.
33:37He came, and this is very embarrassing, too, because I was staying at the Peninsula Hotel, just like Pete Seeger
33:42wouldn't.
33:43And then, and then.
33:46He couldn't find a wood-fired hotel?
33:48He said, he said, you're in, you're in, you're in the city.
33:50He said, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, you know, I'd like to come, I'll come find you.
33:54And then I learned later that he drove from, he was, drove from upstate where he lived, all the way
34:00down to the city to come and meet me.
34:03So I was like, I was deeply embarrassed.
34:06But, but then we were in the Peninsula, and I don't know if the Peninsula Hotel, it's got these fancy
34:11stairs that go down like this.
34:12And then they go down to the outside.
34:14And that's how you get in and out of the Peninsula Hotel.
34:16I think, I'm sure gangsters have been there.
34:20And, and then, and we got, we went to have, and we had lunch.
34:24And then at the end of lunch, he said, I can't really go downstairs because of my knees.
34:27He was, he was getting up there at this point.
34:29And he, and, and so everyone's like, where is there a, is there an elevator we can get him in?
34:34And he said, and then he goes, oh, no, if there's nothing, it's okay.
34:36And he got onto the banister and he slid down the banister.
34:43And then, and then slid down the other banister.
34:48And I was like, we should all, we should all.
34:49I was, you ought to slide down the banister.
34:52I wasn't going to do it as well.
34:53Cause it, I got made it.
34:54I would have, I would have, I could have myself up.
34:57Yeah.
34:58Good.
34:58Okay.
34:59You will be performing a song for tonight.
35:02Don't drink the water in just a moment.
35:05What's, what's don't drink the water about?
35:08Um, I think the polite term is genocide.
35:13But, um.
35:13That's the polite term.
35:15But I, but I, but I mean it well.
35:17It's just like, uh, I'm the villain in the song.
35:21And, uh, nowadays it feels like a lot of us are villains.
35:26And, or at least a part of villainous world.
35:30And, uh, so I thought like I'd play that song.
35:32Cause I mean it.
35:33I don't mean, I don't mean to be the villain,
35:35but that's what the song's about.
35:37Well, thank you so much for being here.
35:39And I love you.
35:41Oh, I'm so sorry your show is coming to an end.
35:43Oh.
35:44I'm so sorry.
35:45Thank you very much.
35:46Thank you so much.
35:47Stephen Colbert.
35:47Tickets are on sale now for Dave Matthews summer tour.
35:52We'll be right back with a performance by Dave Matthews.
36:00And now performing Don't Drink the Water, ladies and gentlemen, Dave Matthews.
36:11Come out, come out, no use in hiding.
36:21Come out, come out, come out, can you not see?
36:31There's no place here, what were you expecting?
36:40Not room for both, just room for me.
36:50Say you will lay your arms down.
37:00Yes, I will call this home.
37:10What's this you say?
37:12You feel the right to remain?
37:16Then stay, I will bury you.
37:24What's this you say?
37:27Your father's spirit still lives in this place.
37:31Well, I will silence you.
37:37I will silence you.
37:43Away, away, you have been banished.
37:53Your land is gone and give on to me.
38:03And as you go, I will spread my wings.
38:13Yes, I will call this home.
38:18Yes, I will call this home.
38:23But I have no time to justify to you.
38:29Fool you blind, move aside for me.
38:38And all I can say to you, my new neighbor, is you must move on.
38:46Or I will bury you.
38:52Smooth you blind, yeah.
38:56Now as I rest my feet by this fire, those hands once warned here,
39:04Will I have retired them?
39:06I can breathe my own air, and I can sleep more soundly upon these poor souls.
39:16I will build heroin and call it home.
39:25Cause you rose dead now.
39:32And I live with my justice.
39:34I live with my greed and need.
39:37I live with no mercy.
39:38I live with my friends in feed.
39:42And I live with my hatred.
39:44I live with my jealousy.
39:46God, I live with the notion.
39:49I don't need anyone but me.
39:52Don't drink the water.
39:54Don't drink the water.
39:57Don't drink the water.
39:57There's blood in the water.
39:59Don't drink the water.
40:04Don't drink the water.
40:06Don't drink the water.
40:06Don't drink the water.
40:06There's blood in the water.
40:09Don't drink the water.
40:11Yeah.
40:21Check out another performance on ColbertLakeShow.com.
40:25Dave Matthews, everybody.
40:27Good night.
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