- 2 days ago
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00hey bobby about to shoot a scene well the movie's going great except for i hate my co-star lockwood
00:10the jerk that's a good question i think he knows how i feel i do you know what i'll call you back
00:18later from my trailer i cannot believe that you have a trailer that's bigger than mine you know
00:23what lockwood i'm sick of your snobby little comments why don't you just come out and say it
00:27huh you think you're better than me i think i'm much much much better than you i've said it to
00:32your face every day yeah well it got back to me i can't believe i have to share a tree with you
00:38oh well get your own tree what what are you trying to kick me don't you try to come here
00:43action
00:44i know something i love you ron i think of you like a son i am not going to leave you here to die
00:53agent this is the end it's been an honor working with you cut you hack i am sick of being stuck next
01:04to this imbecile how do you get out of this thing here let me help you
01:07come on
01:15you
01:18you
01:20you
01:24you
01:28you
01:32Thank you so much for picking me up.
01:46No problem.
01:47Hey, on the way home, we can stop by my new house
01:49and see what it looks like on a Tuesday.
01:50All right, great.
01:51Okay, I just got to go pick up my books.
01:52I'll be right back.
01:53Don't go anywhere.
01:53No problem.
01:54I'll be right here.
01:56Ah.
02:02Nice to see you again, Maria.
02:06Hello, Mrs. Laferti.
02:08Oh, welcome.
02:10What is your name?
02:12Uh, I'm Joey.
02:13Joey, you have a wonderful accent.
02:22Joey, this is an English as a second language class for beginners.
02:26Are you sure you're in the right place?
02:28Oh, I'm in the right place.
02:34Let's get started.
02:35I hope that everybody practiced counting to ten over the weekend.
02:39Yes.
02:40Great.
02:41Let's do it together.
02:43One.
02:43One.
02:44Two.
02:45Three.
02:47Four.
02:48Five.
02:50Six.
02:52Seven.
02:53Eight.
02:54Nine.
02:56Ten.
02:57Eleven.
02:59Twelve.
03:00Very good, Bruce.
03:03Somebody's gonna get a gold star.
03:05Six.
03:06Thanks.
03:07Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
03:14Hey, Gina, get in here.
03:16What's going on?
03:17You broke the one rule that I have for my employees.
03:20You slept with a client.
03:22That is not true.
03:23Really?
03:23Does this face look familiar to you?
03:27No.
03:28How about now?
03:30Ooh, Gina.
03:31I like it when you do it like that.
03:34Do you like it when I do it to you like this?
03:37Ooh.
03:38Oh, I love your big fake boobies and your cheap New York accent.
03:43Oh, I couldn't help it, Bobby.
03:45He manipulated me with his acting skills.
03:47He got me drunk, and then the next thing I know, his hands were all over me.
03:51Oh, can it.
03:52All right, fine.
03:55This guy has booked more commercials than any client I represent.
03:59Now he's so distraught he doesn't want to be a client anymore.
04:02You've cost me thousands of dollars, so now you have to get me a new client.
04:06I don't know how to do that.
04:07Well, you better learn.
04:08You want to be a big agent one day, don't you?
04:10I do, more than anything.
04:13Gina, you're like a daughter to me.
04:16So I'm going to tell you something that my mother once said to me.
04:22You get me my money back, or I'll bury you, you miserable bitch.
04:28Oh, Joey, your English is so good.
04:37Can you say more words for me?
04:39Uh, corduroy.
04:42Give me another.
04:45Harpsichord.
04:47Oh, yes.
04:48All right, now this is a big one.
04:49Don't do it.
04:50It's too dangerous.
04:55Ibuprofen.
04:55Get the check.
05:01What happened to you?
05:03I had to call Alex for a ride.
05:04All right, just excuse me one second.
05:06Come here.
05:07Hey.
05:07Hey.
05:08Okay, look, I followed this girl into a class after you left,
05:11and it turns out it was an English class for foreigners.
05:13Oh, yeah, Caltech offers that for foreign students.
05:15You know, some of the smartest people in the world are in that class.
05:17So, wait, you're pursuing a woman who just started learning English?
05:20I don't care how pretty she is.
05:22You just leave your nephew at the...
05:23Oh, my God.
05:25Oh, my God, what a body.
05:29Whew.
05:29I haven't felt this way since gymnastics camp.
05:33I don't care how hard she is, okay?
05:35I like that she's into me because I'm the smartest guy in the class.
05:38Michael, you're smart.
05:38You should totally play this card.
05:40Oh, yeah, being smart really makes women hot.
05:42Hey, ladies, who likes the transitive property?
05:48That's weird.
05:49Works for me.
05:50Hey, Maria.
05:51You like the transitive property?
05:54Take me to the car, you sexy bastard.
05:56Oh, my God.
05:57I'm sorry.
06:05Wow.
06:05So, this chair is new?
06:06Yeah.
06:07It gives great back massages.
06:09But if you turn over on it, it's just a machine that punches you in the crotch, so.
06:12Joey, I need you to help me.
06:17Oh, okay.
06:18Bobby's mad at me because I lost her a client.
06:21Oh.
06:22Do you know any actors looking for agents?
06:23Hey, hey, hey, look.
06:25Bobby should represent me.
06:26I've been kicking around in this business for years.
06:27I got the goods, I swear.
06:29All right.
06:29Let's see what you can do.
06:32There!
06:32No!
06:32Excuse me.
06:38Oh.
06:39What do you want, Lockwood?
06:41I would appreciate it if you would stop parking so close to me I could barely open the door
06:45to my car.
06:46Portia.
06:48Because your truck is parked way too close to my space.
06:52Mr. Lockwood, I'm Gina.
06:53Joey's sister.
06:55My sympathies.
06:57I was wondering if you were totally happy with your representation.
07:01I work with Bobby Morkenstern.
07:02Bobby Morkenstern?
07:04I thought she died a month ago.
07:05Yeah, she did for eight and a half minutes, but she's back and better than ever.
07:09You know, my agents haven't been able to handle matters around this set as I had hoped.
07:14Well, maybe I can be of assistance.
07:16And if I can, maybe you'll consider making the switch.
07:19Sounds fair enough.
07:19I look forward to seeing what you can do.
07:21Oh, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go out and get some lunch.
07:25Lobster.
07:29What are you doing?
07:30What?
07:31I got to get Bobby a new client, and he's a big star.
07:33You don't come to my set and try to drum up business.
07:36Look, it's weird enough my sister's working for my agent, okay?
07:39We got to keep the business and the personal separate.
07:41Joey, this is the first job I've ever really cared about.
07:43I've got to find somebody for Bobby.
07:46Well, find somebody other than Lockwood.
07:50I'm afraid of who I am and how I feel.
07:52But most of all, I'm afraid of walking out of this room and not feeling the way I feel when I'm with you.
07:59Miss Jennifer Grey, dirty dancing.
08:01Yeah, definitely.
08:04Go with Lockwood.
08:05Bill and Mary go to...
08:17School, Renata.
08:25They go to school.
08:28Okay.
08:28Joey, why don't you pick it up where Renata left off?
08:31Now, this is a hard part, so take your time.
08:35Oh, boy.
08:36Yeah, this is...
08:37This looks tough.
08:39The bell rang, and the students all went to the auditorium with their teacher.
08:42Boom!
08:45That's right, Boris.
08:46You heard it.
08:48Auditorium!
08:51I am so lucky to be with the smartest boy in class.
08:55Some words are so tug.
08:58Tug?
08:59Oh, remember I told you the G-H sometimes sounds like an F.
09:03It's tough, like rough, or laugh.
09:09Oh, Joey, make love to me tonight.
09:15That is good English.
09:19Okay, like everybody, to take out their homework on the subjunctive tense.
09:27You didn't do it?
09:28I got it.
09:29If the present tense of the verb to be is I am,
09:33then the subjunctive tense is if I...
09:37Joey.
09:38If I was.
09:40Oh, I'm sorry.
09:41That's not correct.
09:44It's, uh, if I were.
09:47Very good, Boris.
09:54Joey are stupid.
09:57Joey is stupid, Renata.
09:59Joey, where have you been?
10:07Sorry.
10:09Lockwood's car has taken up both of our spaces.
10:11I had to park all the way on the other side of the lot and take a tour bus back here.
10:15We stopped to watch a scene from the Gilmore Girls.
10:18God, I wish I had a relationship like that with my mom.
10:22I'm so sorry.
10:22We would have never given away your space, but your agent approved it.
10:25What?
10:26Oh, there's no way she would have done that.
10:28I'm going to call her right now and see.
10:30What's your relationship like with your mom?
10:32Well, it's complicated.
10:33My mother and I never really...
10:35No, I thought it would be shorter.
10:38Yeah, well, have her call me.
10:40Thanks.
10:40Bye.
10:41Gina, did Bobby give my parking space to Lockwood?
10:45Actually, I did.
10:46What?
10:46I've got to get this guy as a client for Bobby.
10:48You have crossed the line, Gina.
10:50I love that parking space.
10:52That's like the worst thing you could have done.
10:56Oh.
10:57Hi.
10:58What do you think of my new trailer?
11:00I don't know.
11:00I haven't seen your new trailer.
11:02Really?
11:03Really.
11:04You want to think about that for a second?
11:12Woo!
11:13I cannot believe you gave Lockwood my trailer.
11:22Well, what else was I supposed to do?
11:23I am desperate.
11:24You will like this trailer.
11:26I know this trailer.
11:27That's where they keep the extras.
11:30Hey, waiter number two.
11:33Hey, rowdy sports fan.
11:39There's no way I'm taking this trailer.
11:41What's that smell?
11:45Sweaty cop?
11:46That guy's gross.
11:49Wait a second.
11:50Is this thing slanted?
11:51No, Joey.
11:52You're being dramatic.
11:59Am I?
12:03Gina, this is unacceptable.
12:04You have no right to give away my stuff.
12:06And of all people, you give it to Lockwood.
12:08How would you stop being so selfish?
12:10I am trying to save my job here.
12:11Well, you've got to think of a way to do it that doesn't involve...
12:15Not now, sweaty cop!
12:23Okay, look.
12:23I'm not going to stand for this.
12:25Get me my trailer back.
12:26No.
12:26You owe me.
12:27For what?
12:28For all the times I saved your life.
12:30When you choked on a Super Bowl.
12:32When your friend kissed an electrical socket.
12:34No, don't do this to me.
12:36This is business.
12:37Okay?
12:38Now, if you've got a work problem, you've got to deal with it yourself.
12:41Fine.
12:41But the next time you choke on a Super Bowl, don't you come crying to me.
12:44I am a grown man now, okay?
12:46I think my throat can fit a Super Bowl.
12:51Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to use the bathroom that I share with eight other dudes.
12:55Not cool, Gina!
13:04Not cool!
13:11I was planning on going to the beach today, but then it started to rain.
13:15Dude, I think your accent's getting worse.
13:25I've never seen you work so hard for a woman.
13:28No, no.
13:28It's not about the woman.
13:29I'm past that.
13:30It's about the brainy guys and doing better than them.
13:32Okay?
13:33People in the class are picking up the language way too fast.
13:36They're gaining on me.
13:37I'm starting to think those rocket scientists are smarter than me.
13:45Oh, Maria, I totally forgot.
13:48I can't go on a picnic today.
13:49I have to study.
13:51Why?
13:51It's just a stupid class.
13:53A stupid class?
13:55Maria, my studies are very important to me.
13:59There is a nice part to go to.
14:02Okay, first of all, you don't end a sentence with a preposition.
14:07Okay, that is wrong.
14:08In fact, lately, everything about you is wrong.
14:11Except for your awesome, awesome body.
14:15And I'm afraid I'm going to have to say goodbye, Maria.
14:18But what about us?
14:19You know, he said goodbye.
14:22Oh.
14:27What did she say?
14:28She thinks I'm your whore.
14:36God, my face looks wonderful.
14:39What did you put on it?
14:40Nothing yet.
14:41That's right.
14:45Hello, Mr. Lockwood.
14:49Oh, hello there.
14:49Did you manage to get me out of that commercial?
14:51No, I'm still working on it.
14:53Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
14:53Anyone who is going to represent me will have to handle that kind of thing.
14:57Oh, but I did get you all the other things you asked for.
14:59Craft services will be getting you blueberry cream cheese.
15:02Wardrobe will get you those sweaters.
15:04And because you don't like to learn people's names,
15:06I've let everyone on the crew know that you will be referring to them all now as Johnny.
15:11That's something I guess.
15:12Talk to you later, Johnny.
15:13Johnny.
15:13Johnny.
15:13Johnny.
15:13Johnny.
15:13Johnny.
15:13Johnny.
15:13Johnny.
15:13Johnny.
15:14Johnny.
15:15Johnny.
15:18Johnny.
15:21Joey.
15:23Not that you care, but I'm making progress with Lockwood on my own.
15:27See you later, Joey.
15:34Hey, Bobby.
15:35Listen, I'm calling about Gina.
15:38I thought I'd give you the heads up.
15:40Since she lost that client, I've been getting a lot of pressure from my partners.
15:44And I think I think I'm going to have to let her go.
15:47What?
15:48Isn't that a little harsh?
15:49If I don't make an example of her, my employees will think I've gone soft.
15:53And they start showing up late or asking for the day off when their family members die.
15:59And what the hell is the hell is Rosh Hashanah?
16:04All right, Lockwood, we need to talk.
16:12All right, I'll try to use small words.
16:14No need.
16:16I'm in an English class.
16:17Look, are you going to sign with Gina or not?
16:20Well, I asked her to get me out of a job.
16:23She knows if she can make that happen.
16:24I'm hers.
16:25Okay, what's the job?
16:27Commercial for an Eastern European soft drink called Splort.
16:32The world's only beet-flavored cola.
16:36All right, okay, what if I agree to do the commercial for you?
16:38Then would you sign with Gina?
16:41I think I just might.
16:42I'll call the director, see if I can set it up.
16:44Great.
16:44It's, uh, it's nothing too bad, is it?
16:51When I say action, I need the soda can to run out of the frame.
16:55Action!
16:56Wait, I just got to ask.
16:57Release the bees!
16:58So, Lachlan's going to sign with the agency.
17:15Hey, well, congratulations.
17:17You did it.
17:18No, you did it.
17:20I heard what you did with the commercial and the bees and everything.
17:23That must have been awful.
17:25It wasn't great.
17:25Apparently the bees thought the can looked like a giant flower and...
17:30Well...
17:32They pollinated me, Gina.
17:40Why'd you do that for me anyway?
17:42I mean, what happened to keeping business and personal separate?
17:45Oh, come on.
17:46What am I going to do?
17:46I couldn't let you get fired.
17:48You've been working so hard and...
17:51You know what?
17:52You're actually really good at this job.
17:54Thanks.
17:55Come on.
17:57If I'm so good, let's see if I can get you your trailer back.
17:59Okay.
18:02Hold on, let me just puke one last time.
18:04Can anyone give me an example of a multiple homonym?
18:15I can.
18:16Oh.
18:20They're meaning they are.
18:22They're meaning group possessive.
18:24And they're meaning in that place.
18:28That's very good, Joey.
18:30Thank you, Miss Lafferty.
18:33Hey, Joey.
18:35What is it on your nose?
18:37It's brown.
18:38No?
18:41I wanted to tell you all how you did on your quizzes.
18:44Once again, Joey wins the prize.
18:47Yes!
18:48Ha-ha!
18:52Uh, thank you.
18:53I would like to share another American phrase with all of you.
18:56Uh, suck it!
19:00Well, that's it for today.
19:01But I'll see you guys at Juan's house later tonight.
19:05Yay, Juan!
19:06Woo-hoo!
19:07Is, uh, is, uh, something going on at Juan's house?
19:10Uh, I don't know.
19:12Uh, hey, Juan, are you having a party tonight?
19:16Yes!
19:18Juan's having citizenship party tonight.
19:20But unfortunately, we have no room for pet of teacher.
19:26Have fun studying, Joey.
19:33Hey, guys, wait.
19:34Can't I come to the party?
19:36I don't think you can!
19:38Are you drinking splort?
19:52Hey, Sonia.
19:53You didn't get invited to the party, either?
19:56Hey, uh, do you want to, uh, you and me go grab a cup of coffee?
20:01No, thank you.
20:03That would be how you say social suicide.
20:08Where is he?
20:26I don't know.
20:27He and Bobby are supposed to be signing the contracts.
20:30Oh, hey, look, he's signing.
20:33It's official.
20:34I am off the hook.
20:35oh apparently those contracts are no longer valid what why not yeah
20:43uh we're not gonna be able to sign him as the client
20:47well i'm ready to go i'm needed on the set johnny johnny
20:52johnny
20:54you
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