- 7 weeks ago
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00:01What's that? A swimmer attacked off Spammity Island by a scallop? I'm on my way.
00:07Although I know of no officially recorded scallop attacks, in French mythology, St. James did rescue a knight who fell into the ocean and emerged covered with scallops.
00:15Which is why the French call that by Val Coquille St. Jacques to this day.
00:18Poppycock? Of course it is.
00:20But a trip to Spammity means getting to consume my weight in scallops.
00:24Meaty morsels, which are nothing if not.
00:26Please!
00:36Here he comes.
00:39Chief Brooding, I got here as fast as I could.
00:42Town folk are inside. They're scared.
00:44Good and scared.
00:50Folks, I realize that your town has suffered a terrible shock,
00:53and that this nice lady has lost a toe.
00:56It was my favorite toe.
00:58It's okay. We'll get you a new one here.
01:00Yes, but look, I've got to tell you that the culprit was probably a piece of broken glass or maybe a barracuda.
01:06There ain't no barracuda around here.
01:08Trust me, there ain't nothing around here but scallops.
01:11I seen one eat a squirrel once.
01:13Fire!
01:14I just, calm down, please, please.
01:17Look, it's just not possible, okay?
01:20I mean, there are dozens, hundreds of different varieties of scallops, but around here there are only two types.
01:27There are bay scallops, which is argopectin irradians, and then there are our sea scallops, okay?
01:33And those are placopectin megalanicus.
01:36Now, they're different sizes, but they share the same unique design, okay?
01:41They have a very large adductor muscle, and it rapidly opens and closes this symmetrical fan-shaped shell via the central hinges.
01:48Like castanets?
01:50Yes, exactly like castanets.
01:53By opening and closing the shell, water is forced through these valves, thus propelling the creature through the water.
01:59No other bivalve can do this, and of course, this adductor muscle is the part of the scallop that we eat.
02:04That muscle looks really strong.
02:06Yeah, that can take a toe off easy.
02:08Actually, this muscle lacks real clamping ability.
02:13The shell is held closed by a much smaller little muscle along the side, and it's very weak,
02:18which is why, unlike clams and oysters and mussels, scallops die very quickly when they're removed from the water,
02:24so even if the scallop could have gotten hold of your toe, ma'am, it wouldn't have been able to hold onto it,
02:28much less, well, you know.
02:30Besides, the scallop's 40 or so eyes are very primitive.
02:34It wouldn't have been able to find you.
02:36You all know me.
02:51You know how I earn a living?
02:55I bet my half this critter is the same one that took my eye in 73.
03:07I'll catch him for you, but it ain't gonna be easy.
03:10Uh, excuse me.
03:11It's not really a ham, scallops, or hermaphroditics.
03:13It could be he and a she.
03:14Whatever!
03:15Whatever!
03:16I'll find it for three, but I'll catch it and kill it and cook it for ten.
03:24Dollars?
03:25Plus expenses.
03:26But I don't want no help, no mates.
03:28There's already too many captains on this island.
03:31Captain Squint, we agree with your terms, but with one condition.
03:36You have to take Mr. Brown here with you.
03:41Let me see your hand.
03:43Soft.
03:44Looks like you've been playing with test tubes all your life.
03:49Don't bother.
03:54Smell that sear.
03:56This is gonna be fun.
03:57You know, since they are crazy perishable, the method by which scallops are captured
04:02greatly affects their freshness.
04:04Now, ships that dredge the open ocean floor for scallops don't just mangle the seabed,
04:09but they have to stay out quite a while in order to make the trip worthwhile.
04:13So they either shuck and freeze their catch, or they treat them with chemicals.
04:17Either way, the quality is compromised.
04:19Now, boats that go out in the morning and return to dock in the evening
04:23deliver far fresher scallops, which are called day boat scallops.
04:27But the freshest of all are diver scallops, which, as the name suggests,
04:31are harvested by folks with tanks on their backs.
04:35I don't believe this.
04:36A houseboat?
04:38Don't diss my ride, you galley dog.
04:40She runs as smooth as the rear end of a porpoise.
04:43Now, what's all that stuff for, then?
04:45Diving gear.
04:46Thought I might do a little scalloping.
04:48You going in the water?
04:51Well, that is the best place to find the scallops, Captain.
04:54You go in the water.
04:56Scallops in the water.
04:58Our scallop.
05:00Farewell and adieu to fair Spanish ladies.
05:06You know that whole thing I said about this being fun?
05:09I take it back.
05:11Now, in most major markets, you can find two types of scallops.
05:23Big ones, that is sea scallops, and little ones, bay scallops.
05:27Now, in the Pacific Northwest, spiny and pink scallops make occasional appearances.
05:31If you're willing to do a little snorkeling down in Florida in the summertime, you can often find all the tiny calico scallops that you can eat.
05:39Just make sure that you are, you know, diving during the season and living up to the local laws, or you'll get your wallet slapped.
05:45Or worse, they'll make you take home one of those.
05:48So, uh, Captain, will we be, uh, setting off soon?
06:03Nah, gotta wait for the tide.
06:05Why don't you go downstairs and cook us up some grub?
06:08Okay, uh, what do you have down there?
06:10Scallops.
06:11Beer.
06:12Uh-huh.
06:13And crackers.
06:14Mm-hmm.
06:15Bye!
06:17All right.
06:19Bay and sea scallops are available in both frozen and fresh form, and each one of those forms has its particular uses.
06:26But, uh, when it comes to fresh scallops, especially sea scallops, you need to be cautious.
06:31You must develop the ability to spot the difference between dry and wet scallops.
06:36Now, dry scallops are usually ivory or slightly pink or even orange in color, not white.
06:41Of course, they don't actually look, uh, dry.
06:43The, uh, term refers to the fact that these lovely lozenges have not been soaked in any kind of chemical.
06:49Say, sodium tripolyphosphate.
06:51This solution is used to help scallops retain moisture when frozen.
06:55Now, there's nothing wrong with that, per se, unless the scallop in question is not going to be frozen.
07:00You see, treating fresh scallops with STP causes them to gain moisture, making them heavier, which could be a good thing for a retailer, but it's never good for a cook.
07:10Uh, because, uh, once this stuff is inside the scallop, they become very difficult to cook properly, and they are impossible to sear properly.
07:17According to FDA regulations, any scallop with a water content of 82% or higher must be labeled as water-added product, and those scallops with a water content above 86% cannot be marketed at all.
07:30Well, he's, he's certainly right about that.
07:32You give me that, you land-loving lollagaga!
07:35Geez.
07:36A little sensitive, huh.
07:38Um, untreated scallops are, are kind of sticky, at least stickier than they are wet, and they're springy, kind of like ocean-going gelatin.
07:45And above all, when you shop for them, they should never be floating around in pools of milky goo, like this.
07:51Fresh scallops should be kept in an airtight container, devoid of excess moisture, and preferably surrounded by ice.
07:57They should be used within a day or two of purchase, at most.
08:00Frozen scallops, uh, can be kept two to three months in the deep freeze, and prior to using, just, uh, transfer them to the, uh, fridge and thaw them overnight.
08:08Chief, we'll be casting off soon.
08:10Hurry up with that grub, and, uh, be sure to make enough for the dark hands, feeding them's good luck, you know.
08:16No, I didn't know that.
08:18Hm.
08:19The secret to cooking scallops, besides buying the right ones, is simple.
08:22Sear them.
08:23This little guy is all muscle, like a tiny tenderloin, and he's packed with amino acids and a substance called glycogen.
08:29Which is a chemical combo that, uh, muscles use to store glucose.
08:34This substance browns up beautifully, as long as it gets a high dose of heat from the right kind of surface.
08:40Now, take the average pan.
08:42If we can find one around here.
08:44Hm.
08:46Good.
08:47Luckily, I always travel with spares.
08:52Ah, now that we have, uh, secured the proper pan, we can get to searing.
08:57I'm gonna place this over high heat, and, uh, luckily I brought my own heat source, cause old Smokey here, I think, would burn the boat down.
09:04Now, uh, as for fat, nothing browns like butter, but butter also burns at a relatively low temperature.
09:11So I'm gonna augment it with, uh, a little olive oil.
09:14Not extra virgin olive oil, just plain old olive oil.
09:17It has a relatively high smoke point, and certainly has a, uh, more neutral flavor.
09:22So I'm just gonna let this melt over medium-high heat.
09:26I don't want it to melt so quickly that the butter starts popping and jumping all over the place.
09:30It contains some water.
09:32We want that to evaporate out nice and easy.
09:34Don't want any, uh, industrial accidents in here.
09:36So we'll do that over medium heat.
09:38Meanwhile, we will, uh, face these scallops themselves.
09:41The key to this is that they have got to be bone dry.
09:45So I like to go over them with a paper towel, just to make sure there's no moisture at all.
09:51And, uh, then give them some seasoning.
09:53Salt.
09:54Always a good idea.
09:55You can use, um, any coarse salt.
09:57I like kosher, of course, but you could use sea salt.
10:00There we go.
10:01A little pepper.
10:02Not too much.
10:04Pepper can burn.
10:05I'm gonna go with a relatively fine grind on this.
10:07Not a coarse fine.
10:09Now here's something to point out.
10:11A lot of times scallops come with that small, uh, muscle,
10:14the one that keeps the, uh, the shell closed, still on the side.
10:16It is a pretty tough when it's cooked, so just tear it off gently.
10:20And, uh, feed it to the fish if you like.
10:23A lot of times they're already taken off.
10:24This one was still on.
10:26So I'm gonna check the fat.
10:27All the butter is melted.
10:28And, uh, we'll wait for the, uh, the rest of the water in that butter to bubble out.
10:32Now, once the bubbling stops, watch.
10:34And when you just start to see the first wisps of smoke come up off of the fat,
10:39you'll know that it's time to get the scallops in the pan.
10:41And you don't want to wait.
10:42Because once it starts to burn, it'll happen pretty quickly.
10:45There we go.
10:46Now they can go in.
10:47I'm gonna work in kind of a, a radial from the outside in.
10:50Now this is key.
10:52Once those scallops are in the pan, don't go moving them around.
10:55If they're gonna get a good sear on them, they need to stay put.
10:58And notice I'm not cramping them.
11:01If you don't have enough room in your pan, you can do this in two batches.
11:06A minute and a half has passed, so it is time to flip.
11:09And I'm gonna go in the same order that I put them in the pan.
11:12And I don't want to futz with them any more than I have to.
11:15So get them in position and leave them be.
11:18Nice sears there.
11:20Some of them are probably gonna sear a little better than others.
11:22That's okay.
11:23Especially if they have a little bit more pepper on them.
11:26Now these need to stay down for yet another minute and a half.
11:30And once again, no finicking, no fiddling, no poking, turning, or checking, okay?
11:35Because after all, the real goal here is to create a strata of textures by creating a strata of donenesses.
11:42Ranging from the outer sear to pert near raw right slapdab in the middle.
11:47Now, you will be tempted during the cooking process to turn down the heat.
11:50Because there's going to be some hissing and splattering and some smoking and whatnot.
11:54But if you do that, the sear will take longer.
11:56And as a result, the interior might overcook.
11:59Do not let this happen to you.
12:00Keep the pedal to the metal, thermically speaking.
12:03There. Now that's what I'm talking about.
12:21Almost burned on the outside, barely cooked on the inside.
12:24And within that range lies all the goodness of flavor and texture that a scallop has to offer.
12:30I like to park mine on top a simple green salad tossed with a little spicy vinaigrette.
12:35It's about time, Dania. Don't you know we got hungry guests up there?
12:40No.
12:41Now, finish plating those salads and get to working on another dish.
12:43But I want to come up on tap.
12:45No, no, no. Coast Guard's coming and you're not wearing a life vest.
12:49Don't want to go to jail now, do you?
12:51No.
12:52No.
12:53Well, I guess I could use these scallop shells and take some of those bay scallops over there
13:03and, I don't know, make some kind of scampi kind of thing.
13:06Step one, crank your oven to 450 degrees.
13:10Oh, good thing I brought a spare.
13:17There we go. Yeah.
13:23There.
13:25Now, place your favorite skillet over medium heat and melt two tablespoons of butter.
13:30That would, of course, be unsalted butter.
13:32And when that is thoroughly melted, add one tablespoon of finely minced garlic, along with just a little pinch of salt.
13:41Kosher salt, of course, is nice.
13:43And this is going to cook very, very quickly, only about 30 seconds.
13:47That will give us just enough time to find one cup of freshly ground breadcrumbs.
13:51And I'm thinking that around here, ah, seems that we found the captain's wafers, if you get my drift.
13:58And that'll be just fine.
14:00This size cracker, about 20, finely crushed, will do the trick, so hopefully he won't mind.
14:09And just dump these right on top of the garlic and stir thoroughly to combine.
14:16You want to make sure that all of the butter is completely absorbed.
14:21And if the cracker's brown a little in the process, that is okay.
14:25There.
14:26Now kill the heat.
14:28We're going to put up two medium, very, very, very ripe tomatoes.
14:31And about a quarter of a cup of Italian or flat leaf parsley.
14:37And we're just going to scoop that up and deposit it into the tomatoes, along with, ah, we'll say a quarter of a teaspoon of kosher salt.
14:47Give that a stir.
14:49And we're going to need, ah, some kind of, ah, containment vessel, ah, to, ah, bake in.
14:55And we could use, ah, just any kind of, ah, oven-ready ramekin.
14:58But, ah, well, we happen to have some of nature's ramekins right here.
15:03That's right.
15:04See, ah, scallop shells can be used, ah, for cooking, as long as you're gentle with them.
15:07So I'm going to have, ah, say four of these.
15:10And we'll just divide the tomato mixture evenly.
15:14Go around and kind of half fill the first time.
15:16And then go back around with whatever remains.
15:19Distribute eight ounces of bay scallops right on top of that.
15:24And notice I'm kind of making a little, ah, a little bed for them by pushing down.
15:28And the same kind of thing.
15:29I'm going to go around twice until I've got them all used up.
15:34Oh!
15:35Crackers.
15:36Excuse me.
15:37Not only will our, ah, flavored cracker crust, ah, provide a nice brown topping for the dish,
15:42they'll actually act as kind of an insulation, keeping the scallops from drying out during their time in the oven.
15:47Because we're doing this in a toaster oven, we'll only be able to do two of these at a time.
15:51But I've, ah, made a little cup kind of action or a little holder out of, ah, this foil.
15:56So just, ah, set them thusly.
15:59We'll put one facing in and another one there.
16:02Good.
16:03That'll give us, ah, good circulation of heat as well.
16:05Now this goes into the oven.
16:07In eight to ten minutes, your scallops will be cooked through and the top will be golden brown and delicious.
16:14What are you doing?
16:15I'm going to make a ceremonial offering to Poseidon.
16:18Like, bring us good luck.
16:19Give me that!
16:20You keep the dishes coming, you goody dry pants.
16:22We need all the luck we can get.
16:23Well, once I fire off all these, all I've got left are those nasty wet-packed scallops of yours.
16:29Well, what are you waiting for then? Keep cooking!
16:31Okay.
16:33Although wet-packed scallops are definitely not my favorite, they are pretty good for making a mousse.
16:39And no, I do not mean something that you would put in your hair.
16:42Step one, crank whatever you have that passes for an oven to 350 degrees,
16:46and then take one pound of wet-packed scallops for a spin in your friendly neighborhood food processor.
16:53Now we want to make a smooth paste here, not a soup.
16:57So work in pulses, okay?
16:59Four to five pulses will get our scallops almost smooth.
17:03Then we will open up and drop in two egg whites.
17:06And these we will process in until, basically, you can't see that there are eggs in the mixture anymore.
17:10Then we will add the seasoning.
17:12A quarter teaspoon each of freshly ground nutmeg and freshly ground white pepper.
17:16I'm going to follow that with half a teaspoon each of lemon zest and freshly chopped parsley and a teaspoon of kosher salt.
17:23I'm going to put on the lid and then drizzle in a quarter cup of very cold, heavy cream.
17:29Cold is crucial because what makes mousse is light and fluffy, of course, is air.
17:34And the fat phase of the cream will hold onto bubbles better if it's nice and cold.
17:38As for the egg whites, well, they're there to provide protein so that the bubbles will set in place when cooked.
17:44Chief, these Coast Guard fellas want to slap a fine on you for scalloping out of season.
17:48I think I can hold them off with a few snacks if you get my mean or not.
17:52Okay.
18:04Our scallop mousse is a daring multitasker capable of many impressive feats.
18:09My favorite, piped mini tarts.
18:11Now, if you want to make puff pastry or phyllo tart shells from scratch, you certainly can.
18:16But the idea of working with that dough in here kind of gives me the willies.
18:20Of course, the fact that Captain Squint had store-bought phyllo cups in his freezer also kind of gives me the willies.
18:27Anyway, as far as the piping goes, you could use a real piping bag with a metal tip.
18:31But you can do what I do, too, which is just snip the end out of a heavy-duty zip-top bag.
18:36Just remember that the goo will expand a little bit, so don't go too much over the edge there.
18:41Oh, and it's a good idea for this stuff to stay very, very cold while you're working.
18:45So you might want to keep a bowl of ice nearby to park it every now and then, you know, in case it starts to get a little bit too loose.
18:52Ten minutes is all these little babies need to cook.
18:57But you want to let them sit and cool down for two to three minutes before you pop in your mouth.
19:01Of course, you'll burn yourself.
19:02Now, I need to find something to serve these things on.
19:05Hmm.
19:06I wonder what's in here.
19:15Dive gear.
19:16Curious.
19:17Hello.
19:18Scallop attack, huh?
19:27What the blazes?
19:32Grapes, grapes, grapes, and that's the poem I wrote about wine.
19:37And I think you'll enjoy this wine.
19:38It's, uh, delicate and not pretentious.
19:40Sure, go ahead.
19:41It has a hint of a smoky aroma from the, uh, Renaissance era.
19:45The paintings, that is.
19:46And I, uh...
19:47Wait!
19:48Come on!
19:49What in tarnations are you doing on deck, you scallywag?
19:51Get down below.
19:52Don't you know, um, a storm's coming?
19:54A storm's coming.
19:56Excuse me.
19:57Are you the chef?
19:58Well, yeah, I guess.
20:01Sure.
20:02Um...
20:03Well, the scallops were delicious.
20:04Well, that, that's nice.
20:05I, I, I'm, I'm glad you like them.
20:07This is wrong.
20:08This man is, is perpetrating a, a complete and utter...
20:10Excuse me.
20:11Excuse me.
20:12Yes, ma'am.
20:13I'm a food writer for the Times, and I'd love to do an interview with you later.
20:16Oh.
20:17Well, maybe later.
20:18Here, you can have the rest of these.
20:20No.
20:21No, I can't do it.
20:22I'm going straight for chain-
20:23Now, name your price.
20:24What do you mean, name my price?
20:25Look, business wasn't so good, so I made up the whole attack thingy, and look, now people
20:29are lining up at $2.50 a head, and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it
20:33hadn't been for your meddling.
20:3450-50.
20:35What?
20:36You heard me.
20:37Deal.
20:38Hell, shivering me timbers, I guess I'd better get below and whip up some more of them scallops
20:47for you good folks.
20:48Sure would hate for you to run out of good eats, eh?
20:51Woody, but pretentious, and, uh...
20:54Oh.
20:55Looks like you've been playing with test tubes all your life.
21:03I'm sorry.
21:04I'm sorry.
21:05Mom, estoy好 are you?
21:06No.
21:07Let's do this working suite.
21:08I don't think that the Representatives are suitable for you.
21:10I don't think that there are any.
21:11Me tooけ people, the
21:15classrooms are new in the middle.
21:20This little room.
21:21We'll get you and put them into theoyah.
21:22So one room begins with theoyah.
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