- 4 minutes ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00And now, a message from Prime Minister Mark Carney.
00:03What? Oh, uh...
00:06Good morning, Vietnam!
00:09What? Sorry? Where am I?
00:13Canada? Oh, I'm home!
00:16Hello, Canada, you beautiful middle power.
00:19Let's check in for a minute.
00:20I bet you've been asking yourself,
00:22where in the world is Carney, San Diego?
00:24Well, Paris, Beijing, Doha.
00:27You may have seen my little speech in a place called Davos.
00:29Go ahead and applaud.
00:33And I just flew in from somewhere.
00:35And boy, are my arms exports doing great.
00:39But I did get to finish watching the show everyone's talking about.
00:43And yes, I can confirm that rivalry was heated.
00:46But enough about Ken Burns' excellent documentary on the Civil War.
00:49I got a new fleecy.
00:52Want to know who gave it to me?
00:54Hollander.
00:55What? We have a clip?
00:57No, I'm so embarrassed.
00:59Rolling.
01:00Yeah, I'm so embarrassed.
01:02Oh, baby.
01:03Is this like nighting?
01:05Oh, baby.
01:05Is this...
01:06Oh, oh, oh.
01:09This is the actual one that I wore.
01:12Wow.
01:13Ever see yourself on camera and go,
01:15is that what I look like?
01:17In other news, I also got a new seat in the House of Commons.
01:20So now I have almost enough MPs for a majority and enough aeroplane points to fly the whole
01:25Conservative caucus to sunny Puerto Vallarta.
01:30Oh, uh, international trade deal.
01:33I should probably take this.
01:34Can't tell you which country.
01:35Sorry, top secret.
01:36Ni hao.
01:38She did.
01:39She did.
01:40She did.
01:41She did.
01:42It turns out I'm fluent in Mandarin.
01:45I speak every language except Francaise.
01:48But, as they say in French, Abondanza.
01:52So, what do I think of Trump's latest move in the trade war?
01:56I don't.
01:57He's playing checkers.
01:58I'm playing Chinese checkers.
01:59Yep.
02:00While the Trump is down there dropping dirty bombs in the Oval Office.
02:04Come on.
02:04We all saw the video.
02:05Big Daddy's out here selling canola to Belarus.
02:08And if I may, if I may, it's a golden age for Canada.
02:12Well, actually, silver.
02:14We'll get him next time.
02:16And by we, I mean me.
02:18Take a look at your Team Canada starting goalie for 2030.
02:23That's right.
02:24We're bringing home the gold.
02:25Am I right?
02:27I mean, three on three.
02:30Are you kidding me?
02:48We're back from our Olympic break.
02:51We supported Team Canada the best way we know how.
02:54Drinking before breakfast.
02:57And we weren't the only ones.
02:59Check out the PM.
03:00Oh, there we go.
03:01Next time to keep.
03:03Oh!
03:05And when the game was over,
03:07Carney called an emergency meeting of his liquor cabinet.
03:11Yes, it wasn't the Olympics we wanted.
03:14From two silvers in hockey to finding out you can't do this in curling.
03:19But at least our athletes didn't walk away empty-handed.
03:34Congratulations on your new Olympic stuffed animals, hotel cleaning staff.
03:39Look on the bright side, Team Canada.
03:42At least you didn't have to hang out with the director of the FBI.
03:56Look at them.
03:57They're getting more blacked out than the Epstein files.
04:02The White House responded to their gold medals in hockey with grace.
04:06Nah, that would be crazy.
04:07Trump actually posted this.
04:10You trade your passion for glory.
04:14Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past.
04:18You must fight just to keep them alive.
04:22What team does that guy play for?
04:24The Predators?
04:27Hey, they may have beaten us at the thing we're known for,
04:30but we're still beating them at theirs.
04:33Democracy.
04:37Well, this is it, folks.
04:39The final end of the tournament.
04:40Canada, of course, has been rocked by cheating allegations,
04:43but they look ready to redeem themselves.
04:45And remember, as the whole country learned a week ago,
04:47you're not allowed to touch the rock after you've released it.
04:55Oh, a little bit of a touch there.
04:57A lot of a bit of a touch there, Hannah.
04:59Yeah, it looks like Canada is using a dollar store grabber to direct the rock.
05:04Hopefully the umps at the hog line miss that.
05:07Can you believe it's called that hog line?
05:10What would you name a line, Hannah?
05:12Lisa.
05:13And here's Canada's second stone.
05:16Hurry!
05:17Blow it harder!
05:19Seems like someone stopped at home hardware on the way to the ring.
05:23It's a shameful, shameful day for curling, Don.
05:25The other team seems to be getting upset.
05:27Let's see how Canada responds.
05:29Foster, I'm cheating.
05:33You're paranoid.
05:35I didn't touch nothing.
05:36What?
05:37I'm not cheating, Oscar.
05:40It's the other team's throw.
05:42Let's see what...
05:43And oh!
05:44It looks like Tin Canada is pouring road salt on the ice.
05:48I'm not pouring road salt, Oscar.
05:51Well, that's one passionate curve.
05:54Absolutely.
05:55Now let's go to figure skating where nothing controversial has ever happened.
06:02A plastic surgeon admitted to injecting Olympic ski jumpers with hyaluronic acid to make their genitals girthier for competition.
06:11Which is horrible.
06:13I'm going to look into this.
06:14I mean, what's his name, practice, and address?
06:18The arrest of former Prince Andrew for ties to Jeffrey Epstein has people wondering if anyone in the U.S.
06:24will be held responsible.
06:25Let's see how that's going.
06:27The Dow.
06:28The Dow right now is over...
06:31The Dow is over $50,000.
06:34I don't know why you're laughing.
06:36Getting these people to answer one question must be so frustrating.
06:41As Attorney General, you need to answer our questions.
06:44Pam Bondi, you are under oath.
06:46Answer the question.
06:48Answer the question!
06:50When?
06:51Now?
06:52It's time to play the U.S. Congress' favorite new game show, Just Answer the Question, Pam.
06:58The rules are simple.
07:00We ask Pam Bondi a question, and she just has to answer it.
07:03Easy for everyone, difficult for Pam.
07:06Pam, answer this question.
07:09Donald Trump attended parties with Jeffrey Epstein.
07:12Were there any underage girls at those parties?
07:16Can I answer the question?
07:18Go ahead.
07:19I'd like to answer the question.
07:20Please do.
07:21Jeez, when can I answer the question?
07:23Right now.
07:28All right, moving on to round two, which is the same as round one, because Pam still hasn't answered the
07:34question.
07:34Pam, just answer the question.
07:37Donald Trump is the best president to ever live.
07:40Not the question.
07:42But the Dow!
07:43The Dow!
07:44We're not talking about the Dow.
07:46This is a circus, and you are all clowns.
07:49Okay.
07:50The Dow!
07:51Not even close.
07:53All right, still no answer as we move into round three, the lightning round, which is the same as the
07:58other rounds, except faster, because I need this to be over.
08:01Pam, answer the damn question.
08:05Trump derangement syndrome.
08:06Nope.
08:07Merrick Garland!
08:08It's a yes or no question, Pam.
08:10Piper, no!
08:11That's all the time we have today, because I'm reclaiming it.
08:15And Pam, because you didn't answer a single question, you'll be receiving a well-deserved takedown from Texas Democrat Jasmine
08:22Crockett.
08:23You're a horrible lawyer, girl.
08:25You really put the law in flaw.
08:27You are a liar and a fraud, and let me spell it out for you.
08:31Pam, get asked question.
08:33Pam, think of answer that won't piss me off.
08:35Pam, then open mouth, and hopefully something other than excrement comes out of it.
08:39Answer this.
08:40Dumbass say what?
08:42What?
08:43What?
08:44What?
08:44Dumbass say.
08:45What?
08:46Exactly.
08:47Huh?
08:52According to new reports, scammers created a fake courtroom and law firm to prey on immigrants.
08:58I believe we have a photo of the scammers here.
09:02Hmm.
09:03Always right.
09:05Police in Ottawa have shut down an illegal after-hours bar on Rideau Street.
09:10The establishment was known to operate long after everything else in Ottawa closed, sometimes staying open until 9.30, even
09:1710.
09:20Black History Month is a time to celebrate Black Canadian icons like Viola Desmond, Lincoln Alexander, and Willie O'Ree.
09:28But what about those still making Black history?
09:32Like me.
09:33Abba Mekwondo.
09:35I am the first Black woman to be an anchor on This Hour Has 22 Minutes, and also the first
09:40to do it while drunk.
09:43I am the first Black Canadian to try a doner and say, hey, I like this.
09:48I am the first Black person ever to do a bad Michael Jackson impersonation.
09:53Hee-hoo!
09:54Sham-o!
09:56And I am the first Black person on Earth to be a fan of Bedouin Sound Clash.
10:01But while I blaze my own trail, I remember what my elders have done for me to get here.
10:08In 1946, Viola Desmond sat in that theatre, so one day I too could sit in a theatre, high and
10:14horny, watching Wuthering Heights.
10:17Fifi Dobson rocked so I could pretend to be her to get a reservation, and the messed up part is
10:22that it worked.
10:23And my parents upended their lives in Africa to come to Canada so I could be the first Black Indian
10:29North Bramptonian of my bloodline to have a situationship.
10:34So this Black History Month continued to celebrate the titans of civil rights.
10:39And me, Abba Mekwondo, the first Black person to be fired from 22 Minutes for flashing.
10:46I'm finding them! I don't know where they went!
10:48I don't know where they went!
10:57I don't know where they went!
10:57PEI is adding a voluntary race and ethnicity question to its health card application.
11:02The form will include PEI-specific options, such as white, wow, that's white, and damn, that guy's see-through!
11:11This week, a 120-year-old church in Manitoba was listed for sale, but I hear it's a bit of
11:16a crucifixer-upper.
11:20This week, Matt Gennaro became the third Conservative MP to cross the floor to Carney's Liberals.
11:26It's raising questions about Pierre Polyev's ability to lead.
11:29But when you see this next clip, those questions will be answered.
11:36Instead of focusing on the discomfort of it, you focus on what you have to do.
11:41Just show up even when it's hard, especially when it's hard.
11:44And never give up.
11:48Okay, but now I have new questions.
11:50Like, can you quit a gym you've never been to?
11:55I'm Alana Riach, and I think work stinks.
11:58But imagine having to do it in pants?
12:01This is the new reality for thousands of provincial workers who've been ordered back to the office full-time in
12:062026.
12:07And if you've ever worked from home, you know what that means.
12:10No more toilet meetings.
12:13But working from home increases employee productivity, company revenue, and work-life balance.
12:18Plus, you don't have to sign so many random birthday cards.
12:21So why would anyone demand a return to the office?
12:25I went to talk to J.P. Hornick, president of the Ontario Public Service Employees Union, to find out.
12:31This seems to be based on Doug Ford's belief in what the world of work should look like,
12:35much in the same way the children believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.
12:39It doesn't reflect the reality of today's work.
12:41There has been something called the Internet that was developed that allows people to work from a variety of spaces
12:47across the province.
12:48And what we see is that there's not even enough spaces for our people to return to work in the
12:52offices.
12:53So what is the solution to that? Is that bunk desks, or what are we doing?
12:57We're staggering our back to work now, or...?
13:00I would really appreciate it if you didn't give him ideas like bunk desks.
13:05Sorry. Don't do bunk desks.
13:07Despite the advantages of hybrid work, Prime Minister Carney says it won't be long until all federal workers are back
13:13in the office, too.
13:14And you just know that guy microwaves fish in the break room.
13:18Ugh.
13:19But I want to know how everyday Canadians feel about return to office mandates.
13:24I think there's a lot to be said for the productivity and quality of life that people can have working
13:28from home.
13:29What's the best part about working from home?
13:31The commute.
13:32The commute.
13:33Very quick commute to the bathroom in the morning.
13:36I'm a big believer in going back to the office.
13:38Are you a manager?
13:39Yes.
13:39I knew it.
13:40I think it depends on the nature of their work.
13:42If it's more conducive to being efficient in the office, then yeah.
13:46I think the collaboration you get being back in the office is huge.
13:50When you're in person, there's so much more opportunity to have that face-to-face learning and development.
13:55Plus, you have someone to show your vacation pictures to.
13:57Exactly.
13:58I've found ways to be productive outside of office, so I think it's just a new age of working.
14:03And I think that the old ideals are just not going to work anymore.
14:07At home, I work much more effectively.
14:10So you're in favour of a hybrid work schedule.
14:13I think it has to be that way.
14:15You hear that?
14:15It has to be that way.
14:17So going back to the office might not be desirable.
14:20Or productive.
14:21Or profitable.
14:22Or good for the environment.
14:24Or even possible in some cases.
14:26We've circled right back around to the age-old corporate question,
14:29could that meeting have been an email?
14:30The only difference is, now everyone knows the answer.
14:33For 22 Minutes, I'm Alana Riach.
14:36Unfortunately, wearing pants.
14:42Okay, everyone.
14:43I know none of us are happy to be back at the office,
14:46but as I said in the email, do what you can to make yourself feel more at home.
14:49More comfortable.
14:50Really?
14:50Yeah, I don't see any reason why we can't bring the comforts of home here to the office.
14:54So if you want to bring in a plant or some artwork, it's fine by me.
14:58Anyway, let's get into these numbers.
15:02Yeah.
15:03What are you doing?
15:03I'm enjoying the comforts of home.
15:05I always work barefoot at home.
15:07Me too.
15:08Guys, I know what I said, but you can't be barefoot in the office.
15:11Come on, Brad.
15:12We've got to let our dogs breathe.
15:14Yeah, they've been in the pound all day.
15:15Oh, yeah, and these puppies are barking.
15:17Oh, yeah.
15:18Stop calling your feet dogs.
15:20Hey, guys, we have had a great quarter.
15:22Look at that.
15:23Oh, wow.
15:24Oh, those are great numbers.
15:25Best quarter.
15:26High five.
15:27If you take a look at the number by my big toe, I think we're looking at expansion.
15:34Oh, yeah.
15:34I think I work better this way.
15:36Yeah.
15:37Hey, thanks, boss.
15:39Stop it.
15:40Stop it.
15:41I feel like I'm home.
15:42Yeah.
15:42I'm just enjoying this.
15:44Get your dogs off me.
15:45Hey.
15:46Relax.
15:49Relax.
15:49You have nothing.
15:50You're okay.
15:51It's okay.
15:53Yeah.
15:54You have a nice little massage.
15:56Yeah.
15:56Okay, that's it.
15:57That's it.
15:58I'm going home.
15:58I'm going home.
16:00Question.
16:00Yeah.
16:01What about us?
16:03You can all work from home, too.
16:04Oh.
16:06Yay.
16:08Work like a charm.
16:09Amanda, you are a genius.
16:11Great plan.
16:14Is that a bunion?
16:17No!
16:28This week, Muslims around the world began the holy month of Ramadan, while Christians
16:32started the holy season of Lent.
16:34In other words, if you know somebody who's going to heaven, statistically speaking, they're
16:38hungry right now.
16:40An argument among seniors during a pickleball game at a Florida country club sparked a
16:45massive brawl that resulted in two arrests and four hip replacements.
16:51This week on a podcast, former President Barack Obama was a bit too cavalier about one
16:56of our biggest questions.
16:57Are aliens real?
16:59Uh, they're real, but I haven't seen them, and, and, uh, they're not being kept in, uh,
17:05what is it?
17:06Area 51.
17:06Area 51.
17:07You can't just leave us hanging like that, Barry!
17:11Thankfully, Obama later clarified his remarks.
17:14My fellow Americans, after my recent comments, I know you have questions, so I've got answers.
17:24Yes, aliens exist.
17:28No, I haven't seen them.
17:30But that's only because I didn't dare open my eyes when I was abducted from the White House
17:36lawn in 2015.
17:38Was I afraid?
17:40You bet.
17:41But as I cowered in fear, did I still manage a productive dialogue with those little green
17:48folks?
17:49Sure did.
17:50It's called Reaching Across the Arc.
17:54Now, let me be perfectly clear.
17:57Their spaceship was perfectly clear.
18:00Full see-through.
18:01Impressive.
18:02Some nosy folks have asked if I was probed.
18:08I won't discuss it.
18:12But I'll say this.
18:14What else would make someone speak this way?
18:22Sometimes the memories do come flooding back of my time with Zoltar and his beautiful family.
18:29That's when I sit, take a deep breath, and throw on the latest from Erykah Badu.
18:37Track 5's Standout.
18:39Now that that's cleared up, I'll share just a few more secrets I learned as president.
18:48Santa Claus.
18:50Real.
18:51Easter Bunny.
18:52Real.
18:53And, and a Democrat.
18:57Tooth Fairy.
18:58Nope.
18:59That's your mom.
19:00Treat her right.
19:02Unicorns.
19:03No idea, but if there's a god, they sure are.
19:07And, finally, God.
19:11Nope.
19:13But none of them, even the UFOs, are as real as my love for my wife, Michelle.
19:23Oh.
19:23Might be a little late tonight, though, honey.
19:26Obama up.
19:43There were no survivors.
19:49Canada took home gold in men's curling at this year's Winter Olympics for the first time since 2014.
19:55When asked how the team was so successful, they said it's hard to put your finger on it.
20:01This week, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor,
20:04a.k.a. the pervert formerly known as Prince,
20:06was arrested.
20:08A British royal hasn't been arrested
20:10since King Charles I in 1647,
20:13I assume for crimes against goatees.
20:16So what did they get Mr. Mountbatten-Windsor for?
20:19Police said they were looking into allegations
20:22Mountbatten-Windsor had passed on documents
20:24to the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein
20:26while he was working as a trade envoy.
20:29That's what he got arrested for?
20:31Passing documents?
20:32That's like the least evil thing he did.
20:35That's like if Hitler got arrested for trespassing.
20:39Andrew must be sweating right now, if he could.
20:42But everyone is innocent until proven guilty.
20:46Mm. Guilt proven.
20:48The King released a statement saying
20:50he wants the law to take its course
20:52and added if anyone had any evidence,
20:54he's all ears.
20:56What happens to a royal if he's found guilty?
20:59What happened to the last guy?
21:01Um, it was executed by beheading.
21:05I mean...
21:10That's the way we saw the world this week.
21:12Congrats to Team Canada.
21:13And if you like cheering for Canadians who don't give up,
21:15keep it right here.
21:16Still standing is next.
21:17Good night.
21:18Good night.
21:18Bye-bye.
21:19Bye-bye.
21:20Bye-bye.
21:20Bye-bye.
21:23Bye-bye.
21:24Bye-bye.
21:25Bye-bye.
21:25Bye-bye.
21:25Bye-bye.
21:25Bye-bye.
21:25Bye-bye.
Comments