- 7 hours ago
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00:00Previously on Suddenyamish.
00:02You don't feel like you owe all of us an apology
00:04for how you both acted?
00:06I'm going home.
00:07I'm leaving.
00:08This community's not for me.
00:10I'm not here.
00:12You're not going to change my mind.
00:14Just accept it.
00:15I don't know if Emma left because of how James handled
00:17the Matt Kendra situation.
00:19Family split, friends split.
00:21I don't know if it's because James is giving more attention
00:24to Kendra than her.
00:25We're, like, dropping like flies here.
00:27We only have a week left.
00:28They need to make a decision.
00:30We need to make a decision.
00:31Whether to allow them to continue pursuing membership
00:34here in the Amish church.
00:36Reckoning Day is a few days away.
00:38If we continue making the wrong choices,
00:41we continue reaping a wrong harvest.
00:44Right now, the mission looks kind of rough.
00:47I'm not sure yet how we're going to get back on the rails.
00:50Oh, .
00:51Judah, get it.
00:52Yeah!
00:54You know, I'm out here doing things
00:56that I never thought I would do.
00:57Just such a big decision, whether I'm going to remain here
01:00or go back home.
01:02I actually don't mind doing this.
01:04It's kind of fun for me.
01:05Aaron will be more likely to embrace the Amish lifestyle.
01:09Oh, my God, I'm so hot.
01:11The hardest part for me is the heat.
01:14I feel like I'm dying.
01:16I see this car pull up, and it's my mama.
01:18I definitely plan on taking my son home with me.
01:20If he doesn't want to go back home with me,
01:21I feel like there will definitely be a fight.
01:23There will definitely be a fight.
01:34I think that's the real challenges.
01:35I feel like.
01:37Finally, I see message
01:52I don't think I am
01:52like I wonder if I am so old,
01:52maybe I am so old.
01:53But finally, I hope the profession of being
02:02What's up?
02:04What's up?
02:07Why you ain't caught?
02:08What's she talking about?
02:09I ain't got no phone.
02:10Yeah, and out here, it looks like something on a scary movie.
02:15You know, this ain't the place where black people be.
02:18I've called him.
02:19I've left him several messages, voicemails, text messages.
02:22What do you got on?
02:23What is this get up?
02:25They took my clothes.
02:26What did y'all do with my son's things?
02:29My main goal was to, of course, see my son and bring him home.
02:33So I have kerosene on my right hand, but I've seen as well.
02:35I ain't shaking hands.
02:36OK.
02:37This is James.
02:38This is his house.
02:39There's no AC.
02:41We're using the bathroom in the outhouse.
02:43Shut up.
02:44I don't know how people can live like this.
02:47I don't cut that out.
02:48Ugh.
02:49It was like a bug, like a gnat or something.
02:51Oh my god.
02:54Kendra and Matt have left.
02:55Emma left.
02:57House is on edge.
02:59Everybody's nervous.
03:01And it's Judah's mom.
03:04If she convinces Judah to leave, I honestly wonder if the house will crumble.
03:08Well, can I sit down?
03:09Because I'm just standing out here and got my bag.
03:11Like, put me on a porch or something.
03:12Like, what's going on?
03:14He's such a staple in this home.
03:17If Judah were to leave with his mom, that would shake this entire house.
03:22So my mom's here right now, and she doesn't think this Amish lifestyle is for me.
03:27I am considering leaving because there's a lot of things going on.
03:30It's the devil on one side, angels on another.
03:33I don't know.
03:34You need to go back.
03:35Why?
03:36You look like you lost weight.
03:38Did you want something to drink?
03:40I'm not even thirsty.
03:41You know what?
03:42You can just have it.
03:42No, no.
03:43You can tell.
03:44You can tell that it hasn't been opened.
03:47At least we got it at the market.
03:48Yeah, you can show us.
03:49Y'all got me out here with cornfields and scary haunted houses.
03:55My first impression of Judah's mother was they are the same.
04:01They are twins.
04:04I'm glad Judah gets to see his mom, but my biggest concern is that she doesn't take him home.
04:09If we lose even one more person, I'm going to fall in the bad graces of the bishop, and
04:13I'm not going to be unshunned.
04:16How long do you have to be here?
04:18For me, it's about personal growth and personal development.
04:20How long do you need to grow and develop?
04:22Until I feel like I'm ready to stop growing and developing.
04:25So you're telling me I need to keep popping up?
04:26Well, that's what you feel like you need to do.
04:32I love my mama to death, you know, but I feel like sometimes she can be a little controlling
04:36and she wants me to be who she wants me to be or who she envisions me to be.
04:42She doesn't want me to be here, clearly.
04:45Why are you here?
04:46You keep talking about you got stuff to do.
04:50Look at this.
04:51I mean, you in beautiful scenery.
04:54Black people, we don't make it out of places like this, all the movies.
04:59And so we concerned about you.
05:00You better hope you make it out of here, because this ain't some place that I'll be.
05:05I haven't seen many black people here anyways.
05:08These people, when you were here talking about, oh, they're nice, they're cool, they treat
05:11me like this.
05:12They are nice and they are cool.
05:13So like, I mean, I want to see how you're living, because I am concerned.
05:17Yeah.
05:17I want to see, you know, like, what you do here.
05:19Our stove over here.
05:21Our stove?
05:22Yeah, we have a stove.
05:24Now, how does this even work?
05:26So usually the women come out here and cook, and they do their thing out here.
05:29We have s'mores and stuff where they make chicken.
05:31You put the kerosene in here, and we drop a match, and then the fire starts.
05:36It takes like 30 minutes for it to catch fire.
05:38And so are they putting sticks in there?
05:40Well, we chop the wood, we give it to the ladies, and they...
05:42You chopping wood?
05:43You ain't chopping the wood.
05:44I can show you.
05:45I can show you.
05:46Now, show me how to chop a wood, because I ain't never chop a wood, chop wood.
05:51Master for real, but...
05:53Don't...
05:55Yeah, this ain't my calling.
05:56We just gonna leave that.
05:57When I first got here, I couldn't even aim at the wood.
05:59Now that I'm here and I've been doing my thing, I'm chopping wood with no problem.
06:03It took me a minute to do that, and now that I'm showing my mama, she's not really proud
06:08of me.
06:09She doesn't really care.
06:09So it kind of sucks.
06:11I don't really feel seen or validated by her.
06:14It reminds me of being back at home and the first time that my mom found out of my sexuality.
06:20My mom knows that I'm bisexual.
06:22Coming out to her was pretty rough.
06:24In the black community, it's very hard to accept that your son is gay or bi.
06:30Like, the hardest things to accept.
06:33Like, I could only imagine how it feels to know that your kid is something that millions
06:39of people hate.
06:58I was not in a big hurry to finish the phone shanty because I figured it would be best if
07:03they
07:03would make a clean cut with their outside contacts, that way they could focus on integrating into
07:08the community.
07:09We would have let Kendra make the first call, but she left.
07:13Alan and Sarah talked to the bishop.
07:15It sounds like he thinks it might be the best that we get this phone shanty up.
07:21The Amish do use a phone, just a lot of them don't use cell phones.
07:26We have an old phone, we have a black box, we have a battery.
07:33Well, I think they'll be excited to call their loved ones.
07:37Maybe I've been pushing them a little too hard to be Amish.
07:39I hope this phone shanty brings the remaining English a little bit of comfort.
07:43This may be the only way to keep them here.
07:48Okay.
07:49I'm trying to make sure I do the right thing here because I'm still shunned.
07:54The bishop kind of has the final say-so and if he has a bad impression of me, I'm not
08:00in
08:01a good position.
08:02I really want these English to actually join the Amish church.
08:05I'm going to continue trying.
08:06I hope the bishop can see that I'm putting in effort.
08:10Okay, guys, the phone shanty is finally ready.
08:13Finally?
08:14It looks like an outhouse.
08:16Well, it is a phone shanty.
08:17Part of the purpose is to have it a little farther away from the house so it's less convenient.
08:22That way you spend less time on the phone itself.
08:25Is there a limit on the phone line time?
08:28Well, if you're out here all the time, we might put a limit on it.
08:31No tasks, I'm assuming?
08:34I don't think so.
08:35No.
08:36No.
08:36Okay.
08:37It's real old.
08:38Okay.
08:38Who is making the first call?
08:46Hello?
08:47Hello.
08:48Hi, honey.
08:49I miss you.
08:51This is, like, the closest we can get to the modern world.
08:54I'm calling from a phone shanty that I helped build.
09:00Good to hear from you from the Amish phone booth.
09:03I know.
09:04I know.
09:04Well, maybe someday I'll build you one.
09:06I'm sure.
09:06Yeah.
09:07Yeah, yeah.
09:08Seeing Judah's mom just kind of brought back memories of my mom and it made it hard with
09:14everything that's going on.
09:15Obviously, I don't have my phone, so I hope I don't call the wrong number.
09:20I'm so thankful that I can finally use a phone shanty because I need to talk to someone.
09:25Hello?
09:27How can I help you?
09:28Hi.
09:28Is this Marcy?
09:30No.
09:31Oh.
09:32That's a wrong number.
09:32You've got a wrong number.
09:33Sorry, wrong number.
09:35Be lucky I'm surviving in this heat, Mom.
09:37I know.
09:38It hasn't been easy.
09:40Please tell everybody I said hi.
09:42Okay, Billy Joe says hi.
09:44She's alive.
09:45She hasn't found a bishop.
09:47She's not married yet.
09:49Hearing my mom's voice definitely made me hyper aware that I have to make a decision soon.
09:55Yeah, it's been a lot.
09:56They took my phone and they took my hearing aids.
09:59They got me new ones which have been messing with me.
10:02They're crazy.
10:03Oh, no.
10:04Yeah.
10:04I was hoping that it wouldn't be so difficult.
10:08Wondering when you are coming back.
10:10You probably had to make that decision.
10:12Yeah.
10:14I don't know.
10:15I guess I'm...
10:17We'll see.
10:23Your call has been forwarded to an automated voicemail.
10:26Oh, no.
10:26I went to build voicemail.
10:28Well, I guess I'll try again later.
11:01I got you.
11:03I got you.
11:03I got you.
11:06I got you.
11:08When Judah first got here, he was terrified of animals.
11:12Shut up, no!
11:14It's just a small chicken.
11:16Oh, God.
11:17So with meeting his mom, I can see the apple
11:20doesn't fall far from the tree.
11:23Elijah, is the chicken going to come out?
11:24Because you know I do not even play.
11:26Why are they like the coop?
11:27They're free range.
11:29Come on in.
11:29You're fine.
11:30They're having dinner.
11:31I'm not trying to be on the menu.
11:33Can we go?
11:34This is enough.
11:35Look at the cow.
11:36He look like he about to attack.
11:38They're not going to attack you.
11:39We just got done feeding him.
11:40I bet.
11:42Can I talk to you for a minute?
11:43You mind, Allen, if we step away?
11:45That's OK.
11:47Where you want to go?
11:48I got questions.
11:49Away from this poop, that's where I want to go.
11:53So what's up?
11:55Why are we on this farm?
11:56I'm ready to go.
11:57You should be ready to go, too.
11:58It's poop everywhere.
11:59It's flies everywhere.
12:01The thing is, is that I came for a purpose.
12:03And everybody, like, will understand my purpose.
12:05And it's like, it's getting pretty irritating that you keep trying to drag me away from my
12:10purpose.
12:10You already have a purpose.
12:11You have a calling.
12:12The thing is, is you, you want me to have a purpose the way that you want me to have
12:16a purpose.
12:16And that's not how it's going to be.
12:18For me, I have to find my own purpose within myself, when with God.
12:22So if God called me to be here, this is where I'm going to be.
12:24But you can't keep trying to drag me up out of that.
12:27This is crap.
12:31It's hard for my mama to understand the growth that I'm having because she's not used to
12:36this lifestyle.
12:37She's in the, she's from the city.
12:38That's where we are both from.
12:40So, seeing me transform into this man is hard for her because I'm always going to be her
12:46baby.
12:46But, hey, it's time to grow.
12:49So you like these people now, and you're trying to tell me this is what you're doing?
12:55I don't know what to tell you.
12:56This is where I am.
12:57And if you can't support that, then it might be better to offer that you leave.
13:20What are we working on?
13:23Today, I want to show Ashwamela and Billy Joe an old Amish tradition.
13:27I think we're going to be making some pats today.
13:30Making some what?
13:32Pads.
13:32Pads?
13:33Pads.
13:34Oh, like period pads?
13:36Yes.
13:37Oh.
13:37Okay.
13:38If they want to know how it is to be Amish, I need to show them everything.
13:43All right.
13:44I guess that is something we should probably know how to make.
13:46Yeah.
13:49Oh.
13:49We've got one started.
13:51Oh.
13:51Okay.
13:52That looks really durable.
13:53This is more of an Esmeralda size.
13:55Are you working on one that might be better for BJ?
13:59It's a little bit bigger.
14:00There we go.
14:00We need options.
14:02Oh my gosh.
14:04We took four layers of terry material and sewed it together.
14:08We used black so it doesn't stain.
14:10So does this just consist of some towel and some more layers?
14:15Towel fabric, towel fabric?
14:17Yes.
14:17Okay.
14:18And that's reusable.
14:19Yes.
14:21It's gross.
14:23But if you grow up doing it, it's not really foreign to you.
14:28You know, it's like a natural thing.
14:31So are like tampons just not a thing?
14:34There's some people that use them, but I never did.
14:36Not very common, huh?
14:37No.
14:37Okay.
14:39It's actually really not that disgusting.
14:42These menstrual pads are fragrance free.
14:45They don't contain any microplastics, no harmful chemicals.
14:49So definitely more organic.
14:50We're using cloth.
14:52It's definitely better for the environment and probably better for us.
14:55So I might stick to using these Amish ways.
14:59Thank you, Sarah.
14:59Esmeralda, that one's yours.
15:01Keep it.
15:01Thank you, Sarah.
15:02Don't let us stop you from your good godly work, Sarah.
15:07Donkey.
15:18All right.
15:20Come on in.
15:21We've prepared quite a feast.
15:23I love the table.
15:24Y'all did a really good job.
15:27I'm excited that my mom's sitting here having dinner with all of us.
15:31I hope that everybody acts right and is on their best behavior.
15:33I want her to understand why I like being here.
15:36Why I want to be Amish.
15:38There's lemon if anyone wants lemon for their water.
15:41Okay.
15:42What's that, chicken?
15:43Chicken?
15:44Oh, yeah.
15:44So we just want no chickens where in the coop.
15:47It might be.
15:49Dinner was a lot for me to process.
15:52And, you know, they have regular things like corn.
15:54Chicken straight from chicken coop, not doing it.
15:57Let's have a silent prayer.
15:59Silent prayer?
16:04Do we hold hands?
16:07Sorry.
16:09My mission at the end of the day is plant a bug in Judah's ear and see what I can
16:13do.
16:13Because I have to do more to get my baby back with me.
16:17All right.
16:18Oh, it smells very, very good.
16:20Oh, thank you.
16:20Mm-hmm.
16:22I'm not trying to be rude, but she don't have shoes on.
16:27How do you live with that?
16:30I'm used to it.
16:32Some days I just go without shoes.
16:34It's comfortable.
16:37Are you kidding me?
16:39Well, if you ever come to Kansas City, we gonna get pedicures.
16:44Y'all don't understand how people can live like this.
16:47God creates things for you to make it convenient, and you pushing it away.
16:52Is convenience the devil?
16:54Like, is it, like, what is it?
16:56There's that potential.
16:57I don't expect Judah's mom to embrace her lifestyle overnight.
17:01It's a culture shock.
17:02I get it.
17:02This is what you do, right?
17:04This is what you do.
17:05You're walking on...
17:06Make sure they behave.
17:07Okay.
17:08Because some things I get, you know, some things I don't get.
17:11A little of air conditioning.
17:13Yeah, it's really, I don't know about you, but it's really warm at this dinner table right now.
17:20I don't want her to be corrupting them.
17:23I can't have that happen.
17:24Because I really enjoy air conditioning.
17:28We fight hard against those things, like give in.
17:34Y'all okay with this?
17:36Your son seems to be doing okay.
17:39You said what?
17:44The way James was coming on with Judah's mom, James actually does get very stubborn at times.
17:50It is actually kind of frustrating because I'm just like, get over it. Let's go on.
17:57You have to really be like mentally strong and like secure in who you are.
18:01That's a struggle, but like every day it becomes a little bit easier.
18:10Hello?
18:14No, I'm not around.
18:16I'm, you know, just hanging out with some of these people.
18:22It's just a lot going on.
18:24You can't have your phone at the table.
18:26Maybe join in the conversation here.
18:29Judah's mom is not so supportive.
18:31It is a big test for him personally.
18:34But I have faith that his character and the progress that he's made will, will see him through.
18:41So, in your culture you have no phones, like no, no way to communicate with, except for, if you're not
18:48right here, if it's, Izzy's not right here, I can't talk to Izzy.
18:50Pretty much. Um, potentially using a phone, a phone shanty.
18:55What is a phone shanty?
18:56Looks kind of like an outhouse without the restroom part.
18:59With a phone in it.
19:02Judah, you want to grab that sign?
19:08Let your faith be bigger than your fear.
19:10That's my answer.
19:12If we have things worldly, people are susceptible to idolize it, is what he says.
19:17There's that potential.
19:19See, part of the culture's goal is to live a simple lifestyle.
19:23Just to not be conformed to the world.
19:26So being, living a simple life, you don't have to worry about those bills and things of that nature, you
19:31just...
19:32Less things to stress about, sure.
19:33Yeah.
19:35I'm not as accepting, um, as he is with everybody that's around.
19:39I mean, they're good people and I accept them, but hopefully he'll accomplish what he needs to accomplish and come
19:44home.
19:45Did you get to look around the house? Did you find a place where you might want to sleep?
19:49Because we have an extra, we have an extra bed in our room.
19:52That face. You got that face.
19:55You didn't come to stay.
19:56Absolutely not.
19:57We don't actually sleep at night, either, typically.
20:00Because the flies are all over here.
20:02The flies, the heat.
20:04The centipedes, the centipedes are pretty big.
20:05Oh yeah, the centipedes are pretty big.
20:06Did the exterminators get rid of those bats yet?
20:10Come on!
20:13That's, that's, that's crazy. That's insane. Like...
20:17Yeah, yeah. I know, it's crazy.
20:20We have no choice.
20:22So we're happy to be here with y'all and the bonds that we created.
20:25Good.
20:27It's only so close that you can get to people.
20:30Um, and he's kind of taking these people in as like family and he's allowing them to lead him and
20:34he's making bonds and they're brothers.
20:37And I'm just like, are you really making these connections with these people and pushing me away?
20:43Everybody definitely loves Judah. Um, we can't afford to lose him.
20:49I'm a single mom. So growing up, I taught my kids the best that I could.
20:55Like he cut grass probably like three times in his life ever, if that.
21:01But to see him actually out here doing manual labor, chopping wood, telling me he's getting up and doing chores.
21:06I am very proud of him for that.
21:09However, my ultimate goal is to take him home, get him out of those Amish clothes and get him back
21:14where he needs to be.
21:15This is what you be doing all day.
21:18Oh, the brake is on the back. The brake is on the back. The brake is on the back.
21:22Oh, oh, oh.
21:25Judah really shouldn't even be alive today.
21:29There was a time where he was like grazed by a bullet like in his neck.
21:33Okay.
21:35But it's like a day I'll never forget and just thinking like my son could potentially not be here.
21:40Two miles an hour.
21:42So everybody see me. Okay, this good?
21:45Come on now. Is this good?
21:47Come on, you got it.
21:48So just that made me cling on to him so much closer.
21:53So now not having this location, not being able to talk to him, just knowing where he is, being able
21:58to reach out and connect to him.
22:00Just it's different.
22:03Watch out for the bump.
22:05Where's the brake?
22:06Go in the grass.
22:07Go to the grass.
22:11Yeah.
22:35Good morning, Prince Charming.
22:37How's it going, Cinderella?
22:39Well, the menu this morning.
22:41Chocolate chip pancakes, scrambled eggs, and regular bacon and turkey bacon.
22:47My mama went to the hotel for the night. Ain't no way she was sleeping here.
22:50I don't think it was the same one that Matt and Kendra went to.
22:52Do you need anything else from inside?
22:54Uh, some paper towels.
22:55Paper towels? Okay.
22:57Definitely having a routine now of us kind of making breakfast in the morning.
23:00Sarah's the one that takes charge.
23:02I let her do all the cooking things.
23:03I cannot work the stove to save my life still.
23:06I feel like I'm more of like the runners.
23:08Paper towels.
23:10I'll just like kind of do the preparation steps and then she handles like the big boy stuff.
23:14Could get used to this life being served to, house being cleaned and cooked.
23:19This might be why I go Amish.
23:22I'm not mad about it.
23:26Thank you, Sarah, for making all of us breakfast.
23:28Thank you, Sarah.
23:29You're welcome.
23:29You want one to try one of these?
23:31Here you go.
23:34Sarah, how are you guys loving the Amish life?
23:36I have so many, like, things that I'm debating.
23:39Obviously, at the front is air conditioning as we all know.
23:43Last night was another extremely rough night.
23:48I couldn't sleep.
23:50It's so hot.
23:52I thought by now I would be more used to this, but I just really hope that it gets better.
23:59I think the people at this table, besides you guys because you're already Amish, really are considering, like, what do
24:06I do?
24:06And the good and the bad of both decisions.
24:09So without, like, a few people here that I think had already made the decision they didn't want to do
24:14this, it's even harder now because we're all so close.
24:18The mission is to help people integrate into the community.
24:23With Emma and Matt and Kendra leaving, I was hoping for a better result.
24:31What are you thinking, girl?
24:34English or Amish?
24:36I think it'll be hard to, like, go back home and just go back to, like, my everyday, like, working
24:41life and having to be on my phone all the time.
24:43So, I don't know, I think it's still, like, something I'm really debating.
24:49It just feels like a lot of, a lot of pressure because although I want to grow with the community
24:54and I want to be a part of it, it's also, like, I need to look at my own life
24:59and, you know, the decision that I truly want to make.
25:16For a while now, I've been doing, like, a trial job at the Country Cupboard.
25:20So it's nice to finally just get off the form and maybe have some AC.
25:24I'll go grab the broom.
25:27We can clean up and sweep, so.
25:30Sure.
25:34Working at Country Cupboard is not a hard job.
25:36It just takes commitment and willingness to do the jobs.
25:41It wasn't a huge store, but you're just going up and down the aisles and there's pins and so much
25:47dust that accumulates.
25:48It's like a workout.
25:50So Sarah did tell me that it's pretty normal, especially if you do not have any kids or a household
25:55to take care of, to have a job outside of the house.
25:59I do miss my Roomba.
26:01I feel like that'll make this job even quicker, but do you know what a Roomba is?
26:06I don't know.
26:07It's like an automatic, like, vacuum cleaner.
26:09Like a robot.
26:10Yeah, a robot vacuum.
26:12Yeah.
26:12It's amazing.
26:14Definitely suggest it would make this process so much quicker.
26:18The robot vacuum cleaner that she mentioned, I think that would never be acceptable to have here.
26:25It just takes forever to sweep the store and it's physically exhausting, especially when you're wearing an Amish dress.
26:33It's a monotonous, monotonous task.
26:36I'm a behavior analyst in my English job, so I work with kids with autism.
26:41I think it's a pretty rewarding job.
26:44So going from, you know, something that I study hard and get my master's for, to now holding a broom,
26:49to sweep floors in a country cupboard.
26:51It's such a step down.
26:58There's just been so much that has been going on that my mind's constantly just running.
27:06From the Matt and Kendra situation, Emma leaving, Judah's mom being here and trying to take him away, all of
27:14James' rules, the gossip, the jealousy, the thinkless jobs.
27:20It's basically like this Amish life is not any different from the life I left.
27:26I'm tired.
27:40I'm coming to the house to talk to my son and one final plea to get him to come back
27:45with me.
27:46My hope is that Judah will see the lights and just come home.
27:54This is what you're doing, huh?
27:56Yep, doing my chores.
27:58So you gonna cut all this land with this?
28:01Yeah.
28:03I'm not scared of hard work.
28:06I get it.
28:07I raised you not to be a quitter, and it is a beautiful place on the surface.
28:12But I personally still don't understand why you're here.
28:15When I can't call you, when I can't see you, when I want to see you, that's a problem for
28:19me.
28:19You out here with these strange people, I don't know if they freaky Jason's or what's going on.
28:24Son, I really, really want you to leave this place.
28:27I want you to come back with me.
28:30You gotta go all these mouths to try to make you become this person, whoever this person is that you're
28:36trying to be.
28:37I'm your mom. I'm your only friend. I'm your best friend.
28:40Come with me because I said so.
28:42Taking him home with me will definitely be a fight, but I'm not leaving empty-handed.
28:48I'm gonna make him come back with me.
28:58See, you don't see me growing, because back home, I would never willingly just want to get up and mow
29:03the lawn.
29:03So look at me, mowing all these acres, because I value what God has given us.
29:13Before I came here, like, honestly, if I be real, I didn't really, like, feel like I was useful in
29:19anybody's life or as a man.
29:23And being here, I've been a voice for people, and I've been a voice for people. I've stood up for
29:27people.
29:27I've been able to find my voice and help other people find their voice. I've been able to put together
29:31a phone shanty.
29:32I've cleaned a chicken coop. I've pet animals that I never thought I would see that close.
29:37I've been in the cornfields. I've done so much here that I feel like it's helped me mold into a
29:45better man.
29:49Does that make sense?
29:53I am gonna be staying here, because this is where I feel like I need to be.
30:01I still love you, though.
30:05I am proud of you. I am proud of you getting up, doing your chores. I am proud of you
30:09making your bed.
30:10I am proud of you being willing to help the people that you've grown a relationship with here.
30:16It's been a lot for me, but I respect that son, and I respect you, and I respect the decisions
30:21that you make.
30:23I appreciate that, and I just want us to appreciate each other and stay knit, because like you always say,
30:29we all we got.
30:34Please don't cry.
30:35I know, right?
30:42I love you, baby.
30:43I love you, baby.
30:44I love you, baby.
30:45I love you, baby.
30:46I love you, baby.
30:46I love you, baby.
30:47I love you, baby.
30:47I love you, baby.
30:47Tell me if I need to come put holy heads on somebody.
30:49All right.
30:50I got these holy heads.
30:51It'll be hype.
30:52I thought you will.
30:55I'm going home.
30:56I don't regret coming out here.
30:59My initial goal was to just yank my son out of here.
31:05Even though I failed miserably to convince my son to come back with me, I will accept that and respect
31:11that.
31:13You got it.
31:15I want to congratulate you.
31:16Thank you so much.
31:17I did not raise a quitter.
31:19I am extremely proud of the man that he is evolving, the man that he is becoming, the man that
31:24he is now.
31:25That was the hardest thing I ever did in my life.
31:44I don't really know what's going on, but Billie Jo is really sick.
31:49It's so hot.
31:51It's cute.
31:52She's been laying in bed.
31:54We've been kind of having to take care of her because she does not look good at all.
32:04You'll feel better if you throw up.
32:08I'm really worried for her because she's throwing up.
32:11She's nauseous.
32:12She's, you know, pale.
32:28She's still throwing up.
32:37I'm thinking that it's just a little bug she's having from the food or from the heat.
32:40And then just to wake up this morning, she's still throwing up.
32:43And not feeling good.
32:45She's crying.
32:46Her head hurts.
32:48And it's not looking too good.
32:51The whole drama with Kendra and Matt has been a lot on her.
32:54She's stressed out.
32:54It's hot.
32:55It's overwhelming.
32:56And this is way more serious than I thought.
32:59I just love her and I really hope that she's okay.
33:02I can't.
33:03I can't.
33:12DJ is sick and so she's going to the hospital.
33:19Well, the Amish take care of what they can themselves, but if something is life threatening,
33:24they do use hospitals.
33:26It must be serious if she wants to go to the hospital.
33:51I get there, they give her IV fluids and the doctor says that she was suffering from heat exhaustion.
33:57Did you give me something?
33:59Not yet.
34:00Starting the fluids.
34:02You can call it dehydration.
34:04I can call it deprivation or like drama because everyone leaving, the heat, everything was getting to me.
34:17At this point, I already lost Kendra, Matt, my mom.
34:21If I lose Billy Joe, then I'm going to lose my girl.
34:23That's one of my main road dogs in here.
34:26Maybe I just need an IV to do what I already feel better.
34:31For Judah, he was like, no, no, no, I really, I need to go and check on BJ.
34:36And he didn't leave my side.
34:38I don't have friends in the outside world that would do that for me.
34:46Me and BJ bonded because we're both funny, incredibly good looking, smart, you know, and she kind of like completes
34:57me.
34:58And it's just, I just love her and I really hope that she's okay.
35:04I think we're okay to let you go home as long as you can drink normally.
35:07Sure.
35:07Now that blood work looks okay.
35:09Maybe stay out of the sun a couple of days.
35:11Yeah.
35:11Do you need a special like note or anything like that?
35:13No.
35:14We might do it for James.
35:16Well, I'll take my risks with him.
35:26When I was sick, Judah was hands down my best friend.
35:37He's an amazing human and I wouldn't want to share this experience without him.
35:58You want to get that broccoli and put it in this pan?
36:01Sure I do, Sarah.
36:02Sure I do.
36:04You know, being at the hospital, I was in the air conditioned facility, but now it's back to reality, back
36:12to the grind.
36:13You know, laundry has to be done, meals have to be prepared.
36:16Here Aaron, will you drop these on the table please?
36:19Sure.
36:20Reckoning day is tomorrow and I'm a little worried.
36:26My body is struggling and it would be a struggle every year in this life, every day in this life.
36:35And it's something I've always wanted, but I'm not sure it's something that I can physically handle.
36:45Never would I have thought to make this back home.
36:47In the Amish community, the dinner table or meal times, that is when a lot of our important discussions take
36:56place.
36:56Coming behind, hot chicken.
36:59The whole family is gathered together, everybody's present.
37:02It's time to eat, let's go outside.
37:04I mean, yeah, we're eating, but yet we have time to sit and talk and discuss important topics together.
37:13Oh, that's good.
37:14There you go.
37:17Billy Jo, how do you feel?
37:20Super hydrated.
37:21Thank you guys for coming to my aid, especially Judah.
37:26There you are, my dear.
37:28Well guys, before you all get too comfy here, tomorrow is a big day.
37:34Bishop is going to be at church.
37:37Then he will decide if you stay or not.
37:42And if you have any last questions, ask away.
37:46He's going to decide whether we stay or not?
37:49Just him?
37:51Me and Alan could have put in a good word if we desire to.
37:54Well.
37:55Would you desire to put in a good word for me?
37:57Yeah, would you desire it?
38:00Oh.
38:03There's only one night left and James is still playing games, playing with our emotions.
38:08When does it ever end?
38:10I am very disappointed with James dealing with the English that way.
38:16His viewpoints on the Amish lifestyle is very different from mine or my brothers.
38:22He can be very, very, uh, hard.
38:26So basically you say you're not sure about us yet?
38:28Yeah, you have talked about not staying, so I'm not sure.
38:32If he asked me, Judah, I would definitely tell him to let you.
38:37But I have to figure out what I'm going to say too.
38:40It is scary. It's a whole lifestyle change.
38:42But it's important and it's something that's not to be taken lightly.
38:47But Sarah and I will do our best to advocate for you.
38:50I don't know what he has in mind, but we'll cross that bridge when he gets here.
38:56I could sense that they were nervous.
38:59They wonder if they're good enough or they wonder if the bishop will let them in.
39:05The journey is going to be ending very soon.
39:08This is a lifelong decision because it is a commitment to the community and God.
39:15And if you leave after you are a member, you would be shunned.
39:20I guess for me, I'm just like a little bit scared of like the transition because I feel like everything's
39:23happening so quick.
39:24I think both Ellen and Sarah have kind of seen me grow so much from like day one.
39:28Like didn't really know how to do anything.
39:30I was kind of grossed out by everything.
39:31But I think they've seen the growth in me.
39:33They see that I do get up in the morning and I cook and clean.
39:36And I think they'll advocate for me for the most part.
39:40I've been back and forth the whole time.
39:41How can I join the Amish community without hearing aids?
39:45I think that's a big hesitancy in me joining because it's huge.
39:49It's a giant deal for me.
39:51Do I need to get a big megaphone and put it to my ear?
39:55Like the old school cones?
39:57I need that in order to function.
40:00That would be something to discuss with him.
40:03I think this whole thing is very sobering for me right now.
40:06I mean, hearing aids.
40:08I need a pair that I can adjust easily and constantly.
40:13I mean, I don't know what that looks like.
40:15I have a problem, I would say, just because some of my best friends are gay.
40:22And I'm really concerned with the stance against, like, the LGBTQ community with the Amish.
40:34Listen, Judah has been there for me since day one.
40:37He's my right hand.
40:38He's my go-to.
40:39He's my world here.
40:40So, I'm being honest.
40:42His bisexuality in the Amish community, it concerns me.
40:46You know, if I can bring it up at supper and just kind of touch on it and tiptoe and
40:51get feelings about how everyone else takes on that, then I'm gonna do it.
40:58Like, I am not gay, but I love some people that are.
41:03So...
41:04It's not that we're saying we don't like them, the people and themselves.
41:08And it's not biblical.
41:13So, if I were gay, then I would not be able to be a part of the community.
41:18Is that what you're saying?
41:20I don't know if I'm ready yet to tell Allen and James that I'm by.
41:23It just brought back so much anxiety.
41:25So, when BJ does bring it up, it makes me feel weak because I didn't step up to the plate
41:31and bring it up first.
41:32But, at the same time, I feel like I either talk to them about my sexuality now or it will
41:38never happen.
41:39Okay.
41:41My thing is this.
41:48Um...
41:48Next time on Suddenly Amish.
41:52Could each of you maybe stand and say your piece?
41:56I'm just really nervous and I'm just feeling all the things right now.
41:59My life completely changes after today.
42:01If yes, I'm Amish forever.
42:04Judah, do you want the Amish life or not?
42:07I'm not willing to compromise my identity to be a part of a community who may not appreciate me.
42:12It's important that others will be accepted that will make or break my decision.
42:18Jesus said he who lays his hand to the plow and looks back is not worthy of his kingdom.
42:23Do we or don't we accept?
42:25It's a decision for life.
42:32You can make a settlement.�
42:35mhm If
42:35you agree with me at all just accept someone who perhaps have never gunned against us I am happy about.
42:35Sorry
42:35y'all. That's
42:36allologically. So that's
42:36what I wanted to seem to do right now. Once I decided
42:36that reason, for painting our community. But ain't that
42:36easiest by ending the life, of course, being moreutable and purely educational and
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