- 7 months ago
Kids in the audience Stand Up Comedy By Rajasekhar Mamidanna
Category
🎈
FunTranscript
00:00And kids, hello, every show we put 16 plus.
00:05How is this? What is your age? 21, 22, 23, correct?
00:09How old are you guys?
00:11I am 10.
00:12You are 10, okay.
00:13I am 10.
00:14You are older 10. You?
00:15I am 13.
00:1613. That's great. 33 total.
00:19Good, thank you. Why did you guys come to this comedy show?
00:22You guys must be happy at least.
00:23Big fan.
00:24Big fan of whom?
00:25Papami.
00:26Hey, don't do overactive.
00:27You saw my videos, yeah?
00:29Which videos you have seen? Tell me.
00:31Peppa Pig.
00:35Ever since I did that video, Peppa Pig, I think my audience's demography has changed.
00:41Ever since I did that video, everybody keeps messaging me on Instagram.
00:45Everywhere they see some Peppa Pig, they message me.
00:48Somewhere random.
00:49They are tagging me in some random Peppa Pig videos.
00:52That is okay.
00:53One guy, he sent me an Indian pig photo.
00:55That pig is, our arms are taking part in the drainage.
01:01Indian pigs are not even pink, right?
01:03This guy takes that picture and sends it to me.
01:06And tells, reminds me of you.
01:07Hey.
01:07Bakwas fellow.
01:11Yeah, but...
01:15Bitch joke, right?
01:17Now you understood.
01:21I...
01:22Okay, the timing is little off, but you understood.
01:25That's more important.
01:27Yeah, yeah.
01:27Good, good.
01:28So laugh in the show only.
01:29Even if you understand some joke late, laugh in the show.
01:32Because some people while going back in the traffic, that was a great joke.
01:37There, I won't be there.
01:38You guys are from US, yeah?
01:39Yeah.
01:40You know how I told?
01:41The accent.
01:42Yeah, of course.
01:43My accent, I said.
01:44It's just...
01:45I went to Amipet and...
01:46And...
01:47While I was coming back, my fans went berserk and just...
01:51That was junior in there.
01:53Okay.
01:53So I observe this in every show.
02:01I keep asking people, okay, how many of you are in a relationship?
02:04Whenever I ask this question, married people never raise their hand.
02:08They were like, ours is not a relationship, right?
02:11This is a struggle.
02:12We are struggling, right?
02:14How many of you are in a relationship?
02:15Give me a cheer.
02:18Wow, that's a great cheer, man.
02:19Now look at this.
02:20How many of you are single?
02:21Look at the desperation.
02:27What is the reason single, sir?
02:30What's happening in your life?
02:31Nothing, I know, but...
02:32Too busy in my career.
02:34Too busy in your career?
02:35What are you?
02:35What are you doing?
02:36What is your career?
02:37I'm a musician.
02:39You're a musician.
02:40So you don't want to fall in love?
02:42I do.
02:42I do.
02:43I definitely want to.
02:44Okay.
02:44What are your criteria?
02:45What are you looking for?
02:47She's a nice, loyal girl.
02:49Nice, loyal girl.
02:49How do you define loyalty, brother?
02:51Good things take time.
02:52All good things take time.
02:53Like that only, I thought.
02:58Now I gave up on the concept of time.
03:01One problem, recently I found out that I'm not able to fire my maid.
03:08Like it's very difficult for men, I realized.
03:11Now women can fire easily.
03:13And she doesn't even do the job properly also.
03:15And I can't tell her.
03:17There was one time I could clearly see.
03:18She just swept and then still, I could see so much dust there.
03:21I told her, hey!
03:22And then she turned around and...
03:24Ah, ah, ah, hey, hey, hey.
03:28And she was like, sir, you're a terrible singer.
03:30I know.
03:30And then I walked up.
03:31Okay.
03:32Whenever my sister comes, she makes her work.
03:34Hey, clean that, clean that, clean that.
03:36And one day she was shouting at me.
03:37Sir, your sister is coming back again, ah?
03:40I don't know why.
03:41Tell me when she comes back, I won't come that day.
03:43I'll work from home.
03:48I want to ask you something, okay?
03:49Do you guys know this, there's this in kitchen, no?
03:52There's this one, there's this one wipe, like sponge wipe.
03:56Which you clean, it is so magic, you know?
03:58Like it just, what is called?
04:00Scotch, scotch, scotch bright sponge.
04:03That like square.
04:04Hey, that's, that's, did you guys use it?
04:07Like anybody use it?
04:08You know, that's great, man.
04:09You guys, that's my, that's my magic weapon now.
04:14Like some days I do a show and I don't feel that excited.
04:17Something is missing.
04:18I go home, clean it.
04:19Yes.
04:21Great day.
04:23You know, somebody abuses me.
04:24I'm like, you can abuse me.
04:25I'll go home, nothing can affect me, Ray.
04:28Somebody, I go home.
04:32I'm not kidding, man.
04:33I've been, like ever since I got introduced to that recently only, now I'm cleaning.
04:38My maid cleans already, I'm watching her.
04:42Magic, you know?
04:44Like there was one time after she cleaned, I was cleaning again.
04:47I was telling her, hey, that I'll clean.
04:50I'm like, sir, at least you, ask me, like, I should have some job satisfaction.
04:54I want to have that satisfaction because it's great, man.
04:57Now I'm taking it everywhere.
04:58I'm giving it as a birthday gift to my friends.
05:02One guy, he was surprised.
05:03Dude, what did you get?
05:04Open, open it.
05:05And he opened it.
05:06Dude, what is this?
05:08I'm like, dude, just look at it.
05:09And then I poured some water and I cleaned it.
05:11Aha.
05:11He blocked me on WhatsApp.
05:17But it's exciting when I'm telling you.
05:19And there's one more exciting.
05:21I'm sure the kids will relate, okay?
05:22In Hyderabad, no.
05:23I think across India, I think, there's this one new set of speed breakers which were installed.
05:28You guys have seen that?
05:30Where there's like 10 rumble strips or whatever.
05:33Rumble strips.
05:34Some of them are not that hard enough.
05:36So, they're humble strips, I think.
05:39So, you know those speed breakers, right?
05:42One after other, some 10 will be there on a row.
05:44When you go on that, like, every body part shakes.
05:48Like, oh, where are my eyes?
05:51Oh, in the shoe.
05:52Like, where is my brain?
05:54Oh, it's at home.
05:54Okay, just, you know, like, and every time I go on that thing, you know, if I'm in the car or on the bike, you know,
06:00I intentionally sing some song.
06:02Because that's so different.
06:05That's like, just so satisfying.
06:08And I'm telling you, scorch bright and this, that's my life, man.
06:13Whenever I feel sad, I go on.
06:14Like, I intentionally seek the speed breakers.
06:18I'm happy.
06:20One police traffic over, hey, what are you doing, Ray?
06:23Sir, you sit on my bike and he was, sir, let's do one more time.
06:29And you guys go to Starbucks, okay?
06:31Anybody fan of coffee shop, Starbucks?
06:33Huh?
06:34Huh?
06:35You used to work at Starbucks?
06:36I used to work at Barista.
06:37Like, literally.
06:40I'm the Barista.
06:42Oh, welcome to Barista, sir.
06:43What do you like?
06:44That's my job.
06:45Not like working.
06:46Starbucks, sir.
06:47See, one thing, I go to Starbucks.
06:48But I realize that I still don't have that confidence to go to Starbucks.
06:52I just go there and they all shout, man.
06:54The moment you enter, welcome to Starbucks.
06:58I just came, man.
07:00And you go stand in the queue.
07:01They're like, what would you like to have, sir?
07:04Me only, huh?
07:05Why are you shouting that much, Ray?
07:07Just give me one normal capuchin.
07:09Any added flavor, sir?
07:10Hazelnut?
07:10I don't know all those.
07:11Just put some sugar and give it to me.
07:16And when they call also, they shout, huh?
07:19Captain of a rat without flavors.
07:21I'm a humble guy, so I don't have any flavors.
07:26I take it and I don't have confidence.
07:28So, and then they keep asking, how would you like to pay, sir?
07:31Cash or card?
07:32Friend, actually.
07:34I brought a friend along with me.
07:36Too much pressure, man.
07:38I want to, like, on the other hand,
07:39if you go to some filter coffee shop,
07:41a filter coffee, over.
07:43I want that content.
07:45Do you do that?
07:45When you go to Starbucks, you order, like, very confidently?
07:48Yeah.
07:48Wow.
07:49I think maybe accent, too.
07:52Tomorrow, I go, oh, one capuchino, please.
07:54Oh, my God, sir, where are you from?
07:56Condépur.
07:57Okay, now we'll do a small surprise segment.
08:11I thought, initially, I thought I'll do it with, like, that musician or that ex-lover or whatever.
08:15But then I realized, I think I should do this segment with one of the kids, actually.
08:18That would be very interesting, no?
08:21Because, so, you guys have known about this, something called improv comedy, you heard of it?
08:27Yeah.
08:27Where they'll give, we'll take suggestions from the audience and we improvise everything on the spot, okay?
08:31So, today, we'll try to do it with a kid, okay?
08:34We'll see how it goes.
08:36It won't be that difficult for them to follow.
08:37So, it's like a very simple game.
08:39This game is called reading from a book, okay?
08:41So, I bought this book called, Why So Stupid?
08:43I thought, oh, it looks like my biography.
08:46So, I bought it.
08:48So, this is written by one guy called Edward D. Bono.
08:51He's one of the famous psychologists.
08:52You can Google about him later.
08:54But right now, how this game is going to work is, it's called reading from a book.
08:57Me and one of these kids will have a conversation with each other.
09:00Whenever the kid has to respond, the kid can only respond by opening any random page, okay?
09:05Whatever is the first line on the left side of the page, that will be the kid's response.
09:10He cannot say or add anything else.
09:12Got it?
09:12You guys also got it?
09:14Okay, so, who want to come?
09:16Three of you.
09:16Wow, that's so quick, huh?
09:18Okay, you come.
09:18Yeah, yeah.
09:19Can we have a round of applause for him?
09:21Come from there.
09:26So, wait, I'll adjust this mic according to your height, huh?
09:32Okay.
09:34Speak something.
09:35Hello.
09:36Wonderful.
09:36How desperate are you?
09:42Yes, sir.
09:43Yes, sir.
09:44He's just checking the mic.
09:45He's like, hi.
09:45My number is 9277.
09:48Okay, so take this book.
09:50Okay.
09:50You understood the game, right?
09:52Yeah.
09:52So, we will have a conversation.
09:53I'll take a suggestion from them.
09:54Okay.
09:55They'll give a relationship to each of us.
09:57Like, both of us.
09:58We'll ask them.
09:59Okay.
09:59Now, let's just try once.
10:01Okay?
10:01Let's just show you an example.
10:03So, I'll ask you something.
10:04Just open the book.
10:05Anything on the left side page, first line, that should be your response.
10:08Okay.
10:09What's your name?
10:10Sorry?
10:10Vedant.
10:11Vedant.
10:11That's a great name.
10:13Rajshekar.
10:13Nice to meet you.
10:14Nice meeting you.
10:15Vedant, I think the best thing to do on an evening when it is raining is to go out and
10:27have Paani Puri.
10:32I have since been told that this may not be true, but as an illustration, it stands.
10:40You understood that?
10:41You got the drift, right?
10:41All of you.
10:43So, you can just open.
10:44So, this book is like, that's why why it's so stupid.
10:47You don't know which direction we have to open.
10:49You just open whatever the first few lines, you have to read it.
10:53Cool?
10:53Now, give us a relationship.
10:54What are we to each other?
10:55Motherfucker.
11:04I shouldn't have asked, actually.
11:06Nephew and uncle.
11:08Nephew and uncle.
11:09Dude, I think, no wonder next generation is better than all of us, right?
11:12Thank you, brother.
11:15Thank you, brother.
11:16Did you see brother, huh?
11:19Oh, what is your name?
11:20Vedant.
11:24You are?
11:24Vedant?
11:26Vihant.
11:27Vihant.
11:27Dude, what?
11:30What's your name, sir?
11:31Amman.
11:32Amman.
11:32I thought you will start something V.
11:36Vina.
11:38What?
11:38You guys like V.
11:39Yeah?
11:40Okay, fine.
11:40Okay.
11:41Vedans and Vedant.
11:42And you are Vihant.
11:43Vihant.
11:44Great.
11:44Okay.
11:45So, we are father and son only.
11:47We'll take that decision.
11:48Otherwise, they'll feel bad.
11:49Okay.
11:49They also paid money.
11:50Anyway.
11:51So, we are father and son.
11:53Okay.
11:53I'll start some discussion.
11:54Whatever that is.
11:55It doesn't matter.
11:56For you, you have only one job.
11:57Just open the book and read it.
11:59Okay?
11:59You want me to lower this a little bit?
12:03So, they can see your face.
12:06Okay?
12:06Ready?
12:07Ready, Vedant?
12:08Yeah.
12:08Okay.
12:08Before we start the scene, you guys have to give a round of applause.
12:10Then we'll start the scene.
12:16What do you mean when you say that you want to be a musician when you grow up?
12:21You know how sad a life musicians live?
12:23There is a strange shiny object with round things at each end.
12:30You know very little about it.
12:32What it does, why it may be.
12:33You know, I know.
12:34There is this round shiny object.
12:36I know little about it.
12:38You know what it's called?
12:39It's called destiny.
12:41And for a musician, that doesn't shine.
12:44That round object is very, like, you know, pointy.
12:47It just breaks your heart.
12:49Okay?
12:49I think in all, I think you should become a HR.
12:52That's what I would suggest you to become.
12:54When you grow up, you should become a HR.
12:55Okay.
12:56What do you say about it?
12:59This is false.
13:00It is allowed or it is not allowed to pick up.
13:02As an Indian parent, it's my birthright to tell my kids to do whatever I want them to do.
13:11Indian parents don't give freedom to kids, okay?
13:13If I want you to become an astronaut, you will become an astronaut.
13:17And I want you to become a HR in astronaut department.
13:24You cannot say no.
13:25You understand?
13:26Today we will go meet your teacher.
13:28Yet, truth is the basis of our beliefs, our thinking, our actions and our philosophy.
13:39Did I have a son or Sadhguru?
13:40What is that?
13:44You know what?
13:44I'll just give you one final chance.
13:46Whatever you want to say, say it right now.
13:48After that, I'm not going to listen to you.
13:50One final time.
13:50What do you want to say?
13:51Tell me.
13:51Today, however, we can bring to understand the nature of a brain as a self-organizing information system.
13:59Okay.
14:00End of scene.
14:00Thank you, Thopal.
14:02Thank you, Bhai.
14:03You are very nice.
14:03Can we have one of those for Bhai.
14:04Bhai.
14:04Bhai.
14:04Bhai.
14:05Bhai.
14:05Bhai.
14:05Bhai.
14:06Bhai.
14:06Bhai.
14:06Bhai.
14:07Bhai.
14:08Bhai.
14:09Bhai.
14:10Bhai.
14:11Bhai.
14:12Bhai.
14:13Bhai.
14:14Bhai.
14:15Bhai.
14:16Bhai.
14:17Bhai.
14:18Bhai.
14:19Bhai.
14:20Bhai.
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