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00:00Thank you for lettin' us be ourselves
00:02So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:04These simple lines be good for your health
00:06Keep them trying rhymes on the shelf
00:08Live love life like you just don't care
00:10Five thousand leaders never scared
00:12Rain and noise is the moment they fear
00:16Get up, sit up here for my dear
00:18Get up, throw your hands in the head
00:20Get up, it's showin' you
00:22Get up, it's showin' you
00:24Get up, it's showin' you
00:26Get up, it's showin' you
00:28Get up, it's showin' you
00:30Finish wrapping the presents, sit back on the couch
00:36Then realise you forgot to buy batteries
00:38It's Christmas Eve and it's time for the last leg
00:42Tonight on the show
00:44We look at a prediction of Christmas future
00:46Look back on Christmas past
00:48And take a sneaky look at our Christmas present
00:52Plus we'll be joined by presenter Alison Hammond
00:54Comedian Harry Hill and music legend Rick Astley
00:56On the show that's always a Christmas diehard
01:08G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:10Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that wonders
01:12If King Charles' speech is going to get one less viewer this year
01:14With fears always of the pride of Huddersfield, Alex Brooker
01:16And the man who turned on the Christmas lights in Exeter this year
01:20But only in his own house, Josh Whittacombe
01:22Happy Christmas Eve everybody
01:24Every year we dress up there's something ridiculous for Christmas
01:26I, of course, am Tom Hanks
01:28From the Polar Express
01:30There you go
01:32Yeah, it's not bad
01:42Yeah, you're such a fan of the film that you've called the character Tom Hanks
01:46You look like you're about to strip
01:48That is a different type of Polar Express
01:52I went with Polar Express because it's my favourite Tom Hanks film
01:54Actually, it's my second favourite but Philadelphia didn't feel appropriate
01:58Merry Christmas!
02:00Josh, would you like to explain who you're dressed as?
02:02Oh, I didn't get the memo, I didn't know it was fancy dress
02:04No, I've come as
02:06I'll stand up for this
02:08I've come as Francis Rossi from the Band Aid video
02:12Amazing!
02:26I'm not saying I've run out of ideas
02:30I look like Michael Portillo
02:35You look like someone who's been caught at Heathrow trying to smuggle in illegal reptiles
02:40Well, I've certainly got a snake in these tight trousers, I tell you.
02:46Hey!
02:47Um, Alex, do you want to explain what's going on there?
02:49Yeah, I'm Tim Allen in the Santa Claus.
02:51Santa's just fallen off my roof and I've just put the jacket on.
02:54So, yeah, and also, I'll tell you what, it's comfy in it.
02:57I'll tell you what, your snake will be all right in these pyjama bottoms, mate, honestly.
03:01This is the comfiest I've ever been.
03:03I'm not going to say you've not gone to much effort,
03:05but compared to the two of us...
03:07Wearing, literally, slippers, pyjamas and just you've put on a Santa...
03:13Yeah, I know.
03:14I think these are comfy slippers.
03:16I can only feel the one, but I think...
03:19Um, all right, the big story, of course, is Christmas!
03:22And it's the story Alex has been most excited about all year.
03:27So, let's start with this.
03:29Is it OK that Alex interrupted a last leg meeting this year
03:32to have his Christmas tree delivered?
03:35OK.
03:36Is it OK he did that in October?
03:42Well, here's another is it OK for you.
03:44Is it OK that it's a 13-foot tree?
03:47That is...
03:48I know, that's 12 more feet than Alex has.
03:54Let's see, here's a photo of it arriving.
03:56Just so, you know, Alex took the tree out,
03:59and then once that was done,
04:00Alex's wife put all her belongings in there and there.
04:06Here's the photo of the tree once it was up and running.
04:09Dude, it's so...
04:10Fuck it, no!
04:11It looks like, you know those North Korean marches
04:14where they have the missiles?
04:15Honestly, it's so big that's an actual star on top of it.
04:20Is it a real tree?
04:23It's not a real tree.
04:24Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
04:25No, so even your Christmas tree is prosthetic.
04:27LAUGHTER
04:34Look, knowing how much you love Christmas,
04:36I would imagine the ads you get on your phone
04:39are different to the ads I get on my phone.
04:41Oh, mate, I mean, the algorithm on Instagram...
04:43Mm.
04:44I start getting loads of these, like, Christmas...
04:46Like, leery Christmas suits and outfits.
04:49Right.
04:50Maybe because I was talking about Christmas jumpers.
04:52That's all my algorithm is just Christmas suits.
04:54Yeah, we've got some of the garish images Alex has been getting.
04:56Check these out.
04:57The thing with it is, you two complain a lot, you know,
05:00about your disabilities, but that guy in the suit,
05:03he hasn't got a head.
05:05LAUGHTER
05:07It looks like...
05:09I'd say that's far away.
05:11At the Paralympics, you're in the toughest category.
05:14LAUGHTER
05:15Yeah, especially if it's a dead heat in the sprinting.
05:17LAUGHTER
05:19LAUGHTER
05:21The suit, I love the suit,
05:23it looks like the kind of suit Santa would wear to court.
05:25LAUGHTER
05:26You know what I mean?
05:27Like if Santa turned up in the Epstein files.
05:30LAUGHTER
05:31Oh, no, Santa's not...
05:32Obviously Santa's not in the Epstein files.
05:34Obviously.
05:35Cos we all know Santa makes the list and checks it twice.
05:38LAUGHTER
05:40I reckon...
05:41Pausing for an edit...
05:42LAUGHTER
05:44I think nothing says Christmas Eve more than Philadelphia
05:54and the Epstein files.
05:56LAUGHTER
05:57I reckon if you can encapsulate Alex's algorithm into one image,
06:02it would be this.
06:03Declan Rice dressed as Santa drinking a frosé with Big John.
06:06LAUGHTER
06:07That is...
06:08That's Alex's...
06:09I'm assuming that's your default setting when you blank out during a meeting.
06:12LAUGHTER
06:13Is it true you want a dash cam for Christmas?
06:15Yeah, I do.
06:16Yeah, I genuinely do.
06:17I've got banged...
06:18So...
06:19I've got banged into, um, dash cam footage.
06:21That's the other thing my algorithm is jumping up.
06:22What do you mean?
06:23So, like, I've got really into, like, watching these videos
06:26of, like, just people having near misses.
06:28But the one I've been getting into most is a geezer called Big Jobber,
06:32who basically...
06:33Wait, what, what, what, what?
06:34His name's Big Jobber and basically what he does is...
06:35I'm going to say it, Hilsie.
06:36When Brooker searched Big Jobber,
06:38he wasn't looking for a dash cam footage.
06:40LAUGHTER
06:42He...
06:43He assesses, like, the insurance library,
06:46who's at fault for the crash based on the dash cam footage.
06:49Are you OK?
06:50I think I'm having, like, the most boring midlife crashes of all time.
06:56But, yeah, I really want, I really want a dash cam.
06:59We've got, we've got a very special treat for Alex tonight.
07:01So, we've been following Santa on his radar tonight.
07:03Oh, OK.
07:04So, we're going to check in to see where he is right now.
07:06Have a look at this on the map.
07:07He...
07:08Now, that seems to be Huddersfield, which is where you live, Alex.
07:12Yeah.
07:13He seems to be stuck there.
07:14Um, let's go to Santa's dash cam,
07:16or as he calls it, dasher cam,
07:18to see what's happening.
07:20Guys, what arsehole put up a 12-foot tree?
07:27Look, they don't breathalise me.
07:29I've had 83 million cherries.
07:32Here's your froze machine, you prick.
07:35LAUGHTER
07:37Now, one AI generator, uh, reimagined Santa over the decades,
07:43showing how, and this is a quote,
07:45beloved figures can evolve alongside society's progress.
07:49Here is its revealing timeline of Santas.
07:52Let's go through them one by one.
07:53Here's 1960s Santa.
07:55Textbook.
07:56Classic.
07:57Classic Santa.
07:58Coca-Cola Santa.
07:59No issue with that, yeah.
08:00Yep.
08:01Uh, 1970s Santa.
08:02Ooh.
08:03I've...
08:04I'm not letting my kids sit on his knee.
08:06LAUGHTER
08:08Uh, let's look at 1980s Santa.
08:10LAUGHTER
08:11Wow.
08:12He's been lifting his sack and I...
08:15LAUGHTER
08:16It's no wonder Mummy was kissing Santa Claus.
08:18Look at that guy.
08:19I mean, that'll leave her Saint Nicholas.
08:21LAUGHTER
08:23LAUGHTER
08:24Uh, all right, let's...
08:25LAUGHTER
08:26This...
08:27Did somebody just go,
08:28Oh, dear!
08:29LAUGHTER
08:30LAUGHTER
08:31I...
08:33I...
08:34I enjoyed it!
08:35Oh, dear!
08:37That, for me, do you know what?
08:39I'm not...
08:40It's ruined Christmas.
08:41LAUGHTER
08:42And that's a guy who was fine with the Epstein joke.
08:44LAUGHTER
08:45LAUGHTER
08:46Uh, 2010s Santa?
08:48Couldn't give a shit, could I?
08:50No.
08:51LAUGHTER
08:522030s?
08:53Well, I tell you what,
08:54J.K. Rowling's not going to be happy from 2030s.
08:56LAUGHTER
08:58LAUGHTER
09:00Oh, dear.
09:02LAUGHTER
09:03LAUGHTER
09:04Look, there's one in the audience!
09:05We found him!
09:06LAUGHTER
09:07How did that happen?
09:12APPLAUSE
09:13Mate!
09:14It's the one fucking night you work!
09:16LAUGHTER
09:17LAUGHTER
09:19I'm not so sure about 2050 Santa.
09:21I mean, no...
09:22I mean, he looks like he's going to shoot the naughty boys again.
09:24LAUGHTER
09:25And look, as Santa faces an AI future,
09:27so does the art of gift-giving.
09:29Because surveys have found that a lot of people are using
09:31generative AI for present ideas.
09:33I love the idea that tomorrow there's going to be men everywhere
09:37blaming AI for misjudged gives for their other halves.
09:40LAUGHTER
09:41It's just going...
09:42I mean, J.K.P.T. just said anal beads.
09:44I don't even know why...
09:45LAUGHTER
09:46LAUGHTER
09:47Like, the technology's just not...
09:49It's just not right.
09:50By the way, love, do us a favour,
09:51can you quickly ring your mum and tell her not to open her?
09:53LAUGHTER
09:58So, we've decided to use AI tonight
10:00to choose our presents for each other.
10:02And to deliver them,
10:03would you please welcome, all the way from the future,
10:05Robot Santa!
10:07LAUGHTER
10:08I mean, the technology in the future's amazing, isn't it?
10:25I tell you what,
10:26the robot's improved more than the trolley, hasn't it?
10:29LAUGHTER
10:31It's not often I get to say this about other people,
10:34but you do walk a bit funny, don't you?
10:36LAUGHTER
10:41Can the robot do the Vs towards Alex?
10:44LAUGHTER
10:46LAUGHTER
10:48All right, so we started by asking AI the question,
10:50what is a good Christmas present for Alex Brooker?
10:52Now, once we explained who Alex Brooker was...
10:54LAUGHTER
10:56LAUGHTER
10:58It suggested a personalised Arsenal jersey.
11:01Yes, please.
11:02So, could you please bring the presents over...
11:04LAUGHTER
11:07Do you know what?
11:09Yeah.
11:10RADA is fucking good, isn't it?
11:12LAUGHTER
11:14LAUGHTER
11:15LAUGHTER
11:17LAUGHTER
11:19LAUGHTER
11:20Poor years of debt for this.
11:22LAUGHTER
11:23Thank you very much.
11:25It's good to have Daniel Day-Lewis back in the game, isn't it?
11:30LAUGHTER
11:31Oh, wow.
11:32Unbelievable.
11:33No, back a bit, there we go.
11:34Oh, there we go.
11:36Thank you, robot Santa.
11:38LAUGHTER
11:40LAUGHTER
11:41They said...
11:42Do you know what?
11:43When they said Greg Wallace would never be back on TV...
11:45LAUGHTER
11:46LAUGHTER
11:47APPLAUSE
11:48LAUGHTER
11:49LAUGHTER
11:50LAUGHTER
11:51LAUGHTER
11:53LAUGHTER
11:55LAUGHTER
11:57So, I started out by asking AI what to get for Alex.
11:59Yes.
12:00And it said, a personalised Arsenal jersey.
12:02Am I allowed to open it?
12:03You are allowed to open it.
12:04Oh, wow.
12:05So, we've got you an Arsenal jersey, and on the back we've got the picture of you, er,
12:10with Declan Rice and Big John drinking the Frosé.
12:12Oh, yes, please.
12:13Oh, yes, please.
12:14Merry Christmas.
12:15APPLAUSE
12:18I love this robot.
12:19He did a little...
12:20He did a little happy dance when it was good.
12:22LAUGHTER
12:23So, when...
12:24When I asked...
12:25LAUGHTER
12:26How is the robot funnier than all of us?
12:29LAUGHTER
12:30This is the future, Josh.
12:31LAUGHTER
12:33So, when I asked AI what to get Josh, it said, er,
12:36something that balances his sober lifestyle, his love of home,
12:40his writing work and his comedic vibe.
12:42Oh, that's genuinely nice.
12:44It said, a premium tea gift set and notebook, er,
12:48combo with a personal note.
12:50So, it's...
12:51An AI wrote the note.
12:53Oh.
12:54For when you fancy putting the kettle on...
12:56I genuinely like this.
12:57For when you fancy putting the kettle on and jamming down
13:00those five-minute observations.
13:02LAUGHTER
13:04This is the great thing.
13:05It also added, er, Josh is an observational comedian
13:08who focuses on the minutiae of everyday life
13:11rather than big topical issues.
13:13LAUGHTER
13:15I think anyone who's seen me trying to walk around the news
13:18on this show would agree with that.
13:20LAUGHTER
13:21And so, what did...
13:22What did AI suggest for me?
13:23Ah...
13:24Well, AI...
13:25They got...
13:26So, basically, they said,
13:27something that was tied to your interest in disability
13:29awareness and sport, but more importantly,
13:31a high-quality item that acknowledges that part of his life,
13:34but not in a pitying way.
13:36They wanted us to give you something empowering.
13:38Not in a pitying way.
13:39No, so we didn't want to get you any sort of...
13:41any sort of present that would kind of sound, um,
13:44pitying at all.
13:45OK.
13:46So, we've got you, er, a book.
13:47You have got me a book.
13:48Which is called, um,
13:50The Little Disabled Engine That Could.
13:52LAUGHTER
13:53APPLAUSE
13:55Thank you so much, boys.
13:57I can add that to my collection, along with C-Spot Limp.
14:00LAUGHTER
14:02And, oh, the places you'll park.
14:04LAUGHTER
14:05And, can we also have, er, a big thank you to...
14:08Robot Santa!
14:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:15Er, now, Christmas telly is also changing.
14:17There's a reality series on Hallmark this year
14:19called Finding Mr Christmas.
14:21Er, the TV show focuses on ten aspiring actors
14:24who compete for the chance to be the next leading man
14:27in a Hallmark Christmas film.
14:29Here is the cheesy trailer
14:31for the wholesome reality series.
14:33Boy, do I have an early holiday gift for you.
14:36We are back for season two
14:38with an all-new group of hunks
14:39and festive face-offs.
14:41Check out this sneak peek.
14:42It's a huge house.
14:43I'm down to stay here for a while.
14:45What's up, guys?
14:46What's up, fellas?
14:47What's up, Angel?
14:48Dude, it's so epic.
14:50Dude, we got the trust circle going on already.
14:53I don't trust that trust circle.
14:59Have you seen Finding Mr Easter?
15:01It's a bit bleaker
15:02because the winner gets nailed to a cross.
15:11Now...
15:14Throughout the show...
15:17Sorry, it's status quo too edgy for you.
15:19Honestly, it's just everything you say with that ponytail.
15:25Now, throughout the show, this Finding Mr Christmas,
15:27you just get a cut away of my fucking ponytail.
15:31We've never used that camera angle in 15 years.
15:34Where did that come from?
15:36That's not one of our angles.
15:38Where's that?
15:39Where's that?
15:40I don't even know where that camera is!
15:43Throughout Finding Mr Christmas,
15:45the actors have to complete a series of challenges,
15:47including gift wrapping, untangling Christmas lights
15:49and acting in a scene.
15:50But we think they missed a trick.
15:53Because we've got our own Mr Christmas here, Alex Brooker.
15:56I don't know why they didn't cast him, right?
15:58100%, mate.
15:59So, throughout the show tonight,
16:00we're going to set Alex a series of Christmassy tasks
16:03and he's going to do the first one now.
16:05We need you to head over there, please, Alex.
16:07I didn't know why.
16:08Are you ready? Are you ready?
16:13It's based on this festive challenge.
16:16Remember, guys, presentation is important,
16:20but your personality and star quality
16:23are always on Santa's radar.
16:26Ooh.
16:27So give us your best runway walks and slay!
16:30Yeah!
16:31Wait, you're up first.
16:39Okay, hello.
16:41Melissa, I don't want you to get too close to this fire.
16:43Sugar melts.
16:44Oh!
16:47Wow!
16:52So, it's time for Alex
16:54to take on the Mr Christmas catwalk challenge.
16:57Alex, I want some strut with a goodwill to all men vibe.
17:07Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
17:14Uh, genuinely, by the way, don't get too close to me,
17:16because I think this is flammable as far.
17:17I just want.
17:18Alex, you're through to the next round.
17:19Yeah!
17:20Genuinely, by the way, don't get too close to me,
17:22because I think this is flammable as fuck.
17:26Alex, you're through to the next round.
17:34All right, let's welcome tonight's guests.
17:36They're Bake Off royalty, which means much like real royalty,
17:39they're both inbred.
17:40Please welcome Alison Hammond and comedian Harry Hill.
17:50I don't believe you, Francis Rossi and Tim Allen.
18:07And Bernard Cribbins from the Railroad Church.
18:10I thought it.
18:12Now, Alison has already received the best gift of all a few weeks ago
18:16when Prince Harry lip-synced to one of your exchanges from Bake Off.
18:22I thought I was dreaming when I saw that.
18:23So here's the perfectly timed clip with Stephen Colbert.
18:27If you was treated like a king for the day,
18:29what would you want me to do for you?
18:31Um, Beck for me, probably.
18:33You'd want me to do what?
18:35Beck.
18:36Beck.
18:36Beck.
18:38Beck.
18:38Beck.
18:39B-A-K.
18:40Beck.
18:41Beck.
18:42Oh, Beck!
18:46What a weird moment.
18:51Amazing.
18:52I mean, it sounds like, oh, my God.
18:54Me and Prince Harry are connected now.
18:57You totally like that.
18:58You know what I mean? We're tied.
18:59Yeah.
18:59I mean, how can I be humble now?
19:01Do you know what I mean?
19:03Does it make me kind of, like, royalty now?
19:05Like, am I princess?
19:07Am I?
19:07Yeah, but it does appear that Prince Harry
19:10has got a lot of time on his hands now.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:13What do you reckon?
19:18APPLAUSE
19:19LAUGHTER
19:20Um, Harry, what are your Christmas traditions?
19:25Um, well, we always...
19:27What we do with the TV,
19:29when we have the Christmas lunch...
19:31Yeah.
19:32..and then we have...
19:32We've got one of those TVs that you can bring round...
19:35You know, it comes...
19:36You can angle it round.
19:37It's on the wall, but you can angle it round.
19:39Yeah.
19:39And so we bring it round so that it's across the other side
19:42of the table, and then we have the King's Speech on there.
19:45So it's like he's joining us.
19:47LAUGHTER
19:48LAUGHTER
19:49What's that?
19:52Yeah.
19:52Yes, it has been a tough year for a lot of people.
19:55LAUGHTER
19:56And, look, we talked about Alex's 13-foot tree in his garden.
20:01Anything special in your garden this Christmas?
20:03Uh, well, we've got robins, actually, nesting...
20:06Ooh!
20:06Yeah.
20:07Aw.
20:07Yeah, I know.
20:08We put up a nesting box last year and...
20:12Yeah.
20:12And we've got some...
20:13Actually, some baby robins in there.
20:15Aw.
20:15Yeah, and I've actually got a camera.
20:17You know, one of those little tiny cameras?
20:19Oh, yeah, yeah.
20:19Yeah.
20:20It's got a bird watch.
20:21Yeah, with, like, a live feed.
20:22Yeah.
20:22Um, could we see that, or...?
20:25We have got it.
20:26Yes, yes, we can.
20:27Yes, we can.
20:27Let's see the live feed of your...
20:28There's a little robin in there this morning.
20:29Oh, that's so lovely.
20:30But, um...
20:32LAUGHTER
20:33LAUGHTER
20:34APPLAUSE
20:37What's that?
20:38APPLAUSE
20:40Aw.
20:41LAUGHTER
20:42LAUGHTER
20:43Aw.
20:44That's really upsetting.
20:45LAUGHTER
20:46Talk about a live feed.
20:48Me.
20:49LAUGHTER
20:50All right, we'll have more last week for you after the break
20:53as we chat to Rick Astley and find out which one of our guests
20:56had a crush on him as a teenager.
20:58See you in a little bit.
20:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:05Welcome back to Last Leg.
21:06We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Gill.
21:22Uh, Alex is starting to change like Tim Allen in, uh...
21:26LAUGHTER
21:27I'm not.
21:28Are you not?
21:29Are you not?
21:30No, I'm all right, mate.
21:31I don't think that's how you looked in the last part.
21:33That's absolutely the same, mate.
21:34OK.
21:35Changing the tool.
21:36All right, Josh, do you want to explain what's going on with you?
21:38I'm going through the Band-Aid video.
21:40LAUGHTER
21:41I, er...
21:42I, er...
21:43I didn't...
21:44I didn't know Hanson were in Band-Aid.
21:45LAUGHTER
21:46Handsome?
21:47LAUGHTER
21:48I can't hear much, by the way.
21:50LAUGHTER
21:51I'm Sting from Band-Aid.
21:52Look at that.
21:53LAUGHTER
21:54Amazing.
21:55Bang on.
21:56I can't hear anything.
21:57LAUGHTER
21:59I'm getting Gail Tilsley off-coller.
22:01LAUGHTER
22:02LAUGHTER
22:03Anyone else doing that?
22:04LAUGHTER
22:05APPLAUSE
22:06I'm getting...
22:07I'm getting Gail Tilsley and Paul Hollywood.
22:09LAUGHTER
22:10LAUGHTER
22:11And, obviously, I'm now Tom Hanks as Woody from Toy Story.
22:15Oh, yes.
22:16Oh, yeah.
22:17Because the final scene of Toy Story
22:18is when they all become friends at Christmas.
22:20Yes.
22:21Time now to welcome another guest
22:22to the last late Christmas celebration.
22:24He's a soul singer whose songs may be
22:26the one thing your family doesn't fight over this Christmas.
22:28Please welcome...
22:29Rick Astley!
22:30CHEERING
22:32CHEERING
22:33APPLAUSE
22:54Welcome to the party, Rick.
22:55What are your Christmas traditions?
22:57Eating and drinking, I think, pretty much.
22:59Yes.
23:00My wife is Danish and we have quite a lot of Scandinavian tradition
23:04in our Christmas.
23:05Bacon?
23:06Yeah, a lot of bacon, actually.
23:07LAUGHTER
23:08Yeah, yeah.
23:09But also, they celebrate on the eve, on the 24th.
23:13Yes.
23:14So we've got into that habit over the years of doing that.
23:16Well, I'm very sorry that you're here tonight on Christmas Eve.
23:18I know.
23:19Well, exactly.
23:20I'm...
23:21Exactly.
23:22I'm straight back there after this.
23:24If there's anything left, I'll be, you know, lovely.
23:27LAUGHTER
23:28No, so, to be honest, tomorrow is a bit like our Boxing Day,
23:31to be honest.
23:32Right.
23:33It's a bit more chill and, you know, so...
23:34Yep.
23:35Yeah.
23:36Now, we asked AI to suggest a present for you.
23:37I can't wait.
23:38OK.
23:39LAUGHTER
23:40It said maybe a rare vinyl copy of something like The Smiths.
23:44Yeah.
23:45Because you did a show of Smith songs at Glastonbury.
23:47Indeed, I did.
23:48I saw it.
23:49Which, yeah, you saw it and one of our team was there
23:51and captured the joy Josh felt as he watched you perform.
23:54This is genuine footage.
23:56Back on the streets of Birmingham
23:59I wander to myself
24:03Will I barely be saved again
24:07With each side straight as you sit down
24:10I wander to myself
24:14What a nice...
24:15One of the best hours of my life.
24:17Thank you, thank you.
24:19Thank you, thank you.
24:20And watching that video, this is going to blow your mind.
24:23That was after I stopped drinking.
24:26LAUGHTER
24:27Right, thank you.
24:28Harry, you share Rick's love of Morrissey's music.
24:31Uh...
24:32His music? Yeah, not so much his music.
24:34LAUGHTER
24:38Don't talk about that, do we?
24:40You performed as Morrissey?
24:42I was... I did Morrissey and Stars in there.
24:44I remember it.
24:45We have a dazzling clip of the enthusiastic performance
24:48from the turn of the millennium.
24:50Morrissey!
24:51APPLAUSE
24:52APPLAUSE
24:53MUSIC
24:54MUSIC
24:55MUSIC
24:56MUSIC
24:57MUSIC
24:59MUSIC
25:00MUSIC
25:20MUSIC
25:24LAUGHTER
25:25erossey
25:26MUSIC
25:27APPLAUSE
25:28Did you ever met Morrissey?
25:30I haven't met Morrissey, but part of it was that you had to get permission.
25:33So I had to get permission from Morrissey to impersonate him.
25:36There was a...
25:37Or to do that song.
25:38And I got a fax through in the old days of faxes.
25:41and it was signed by Morrissey saying,
25:44good luck, Morrissey.
25:46And so I thought, oh, so Morrissey's on the other end of this number,
25:50because the number is there.
25:51I thought, well, I'll... And I had this idea,
25:53so I sent him a fax back saying,
25:55how about you and me do a novelty single for Christmas,
25:59our version of Little Donkey.
26:01Wow.
26:03But I never... Never heard back.
26:05I mean, you've got your own quiff.
26:08I have. I have to wear an artificial one.
26:10But if you liked, I could...
26:12Would you like me to reprise the...
26:14Would you like... Yes.
26:16Have you got the... Yes.
26:17No, no, I'm not feeling it.
26:19Come on!
26:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:25What a showman!
26:26He knows how to get the crowd going.
26:30There we go.
26:31There we go.
26:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:34Lovely.
26:36It's uncanny.
26:38Little donkey.
26:40Little donkey.
26:41Little donkey.
26:42On a dusty road.
26:45Going to keep on...
26:48Plodding onwards.
26:50With your head and your head.
26:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:56Brilliant.
26:57Oh, mercy, everyone.
26:59Merry Christmas.
27:00So good.
27:01Alison, is it true you had a teenage crush on Rick?
27:03Well, it's not the sort of place I would, like,
27:04probably admit it, with Rick literally sitting there.
27:05But he already knows.
27:06We've met quite a few times.
27:07And now I'm quite cool with it.
27:08Are you?
27:09Like, I'm all right.
27:10I'm totally cool with, like, being in the...
27:11As long as Harry's sat between us.
27:12Oh, yeah, exactly.
27:13So, Alison, just to clarify your story, you used to fancy Rick Astley.
27:14But not more.
27:15Then you met him and now it's gone away.
27:17Not at all, Josh.
27:18Obviously I've still got feelings but there is, like, you know...
27:19Have you?
27:20Do you want to expand on that?
27:21Oh, no, no, no, no.
27:22I'm like, I'm not.
27:23So, I can probably admit it, with Rick literally sitting there,
27:24he already knows.
27:25We've met quite a few times and now I'm quite cool with it.
27:26Like, I'm all right, I'm totally cool with being in the...
27:28As long as Harry's sat between us.
27:29Oh, yeah, exactly.
27:30So, Alison, just to clarify your story, you used to fancy Rick Astley,
27:32then you met him and now it's gone away.
27:34It's gone away.
27:35Not at all, Josh. Obviously, I've still got feelings, but there is, like, you know...
27:40Have you?
27:41Do you want to expand on that?
27:43Listen, I'm not saying... There's a wife. There's a wife.
27:47I feel like I'm the...
27:50Come on, Harry. Come on, Harry.
27:52Come on, Harry. Get there.
27:54Oh, no!
27:56I don't know how that we're on to.
27:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:00Listen.
28:05Obviously, I was a lot younger than I am now and, obviously, I still get the same feelings.
28:12I'm going to say it, there's a chance you're going to be Rickrolled.
28:16LAUGHTER
28:18Come back, Harry!
28:20Come back, Harry!
28:22Alison, on the very night that his wife is celebrating Christmas...
28:26LAUGHTER
28:28Well, she's not here, is she?
28:31LAUGHTER
28:33Just out of interest, Rick, where can Alison see you perform next year?
28:38Yeah!
28:39Um, here, there and everywhere. We're on tour in April, which...
28:43Are we? Yes, we're all on tour.
28:45LAUGHTER
28:47Short notice.
28:49Yeah. So, um...
28:50We can't wait. We can't wait. We're looking forward to it.
28:53And now, Harry, you and Alison both host different versions of Bake Off,
28:56but you have brought your own showstopper to the show tonight.
28:59LAUGHTER
29:00Yeah, I've got to go back there again.
29:02Go on.
29:03LAUGHTER
29:04Well, I just think, you know, people forget what Christmas is really about.
29:10Yeah.
29:11And what they concentrate on is the food, you know, it's all about the food.
29:14Mm.
29:15So, what I've done is I've done a, um, my own...
29:18..a savoury nativity, um...
29:21Brussels!
29:23..which I've made, which I've made myself.
29:27And what...
29:28So, just trying to get the message of Christmas through...
29:30LAUGHTER
29:32..through...
29:33..through food.
29:35Smells lovely.
29:36And...
29:37Do you want me to talk you through it?
29:39Yeah.
29:40So, these are frazzles on the roof of the, uh...
29:43LAUGHTER
29:44That's the...
29:44It's a pond bear...
29:45LAUGHTER
29:46..as...
29:47..as the angel Gabriel.
29:48LAUGHTER
29:49And then we have the three kings here, which I...
29:53..I made from pepper armies, cos they're...
29:55LAUGHTER
29:56..they're spicy, a bit more exotic.
29:57LAUGHTER
29:58Um, you've got the two sausages here, uh, Joseph and Mary...
30:03Obviously, Joseph is a bit taller than Mary.
30:05Yeah.
30:06Um, and then you've got the star of the show, the baby Jesus...
30:10..uh, which is a pig in blanket, and there's the...
30:14LAUGHTER
30:15I don't mean that in a sort of negative, you know, in a...
30:18LAUGHTER
30:20..I don't want any trouble.
30:21LAUGHTER
30:22And then you've got the manger made out of chip sticks, they're nice.
30:25Mm-hm.
30:26And then you've got the halo there.
30:28LAUGHTER
30:29So that's just something that perhaps people could, you know,
30:31make their own tradition now.
30:33LAUGHTER
30:34The savoury nativity. Would you like to...?
30:36Have you got it in kit form?
30:38Do you, like, you sell it in a kit? Could you...?
30:39It's about 12 quid.
30:41LAUGHTER
30:42I mean, the slight problem with it is, to secure the sausages,
30:46you do have to use, um, screws.
30:49LAUGHTER
30:51And we're going to have more last link for you after the break,
30:54as Alex performs a Hallmark Christmas scene
30:56we've written just for tonight,
30:58but right now Rick Astley is going to perform
31:00his first Christmas hit of the night.
31:02Before he does, though,
31:04we've talked a lot about Alex's love of Christmas,
31:06but Lib Dem leader Ed Davey revealed in an interview this year
31:09that he listens to Christmas tunes all year round.
31:12Wow.
31:13How do we feel about that? Is that all right?
31:14Oh, but...
31:15But isn't his birthday on Christmas Day?
31:17That's the reason, isn't it?
31:18I think his birthday's on Christmas Day,
31:20so that's probably one of the reasons why it means a lot to him.
31:23Yeah.
31:24Cos otherwise it'd just be fucking weird.
31:25LAUGHTER
31:26Well, he's going to make the next bit awkward.
31:40Uh, Rick is going to play us into the break,
31:42but who better to introduce him...
31:44..than the leader of the Lib Dems...
31:46LAUGHTER
31:47..so, Ed Davey!
31:49APPLAUSE
31:51Hi, guys, it's Ed Davey here.
31:53Merry Christmas to you all.
31:55It's true, I like listening to Christmas music all year round.
31:59The reason is, my daughter and I love winding up her mum,
32:03and it's on my iPhone and we play it in the car all the time.
32:07Um, I'm never going to give up Christmas.
32:09So here's Rick Astley.
32:12APPLAUSE
32:13Sleigh bells ring
32:23Are you listening in a lane?
32:26Snow is glisting
32:29A beautiful sight
32:31We're happy tonight
32:33Walking in a winter wonderland
32:36Later on
32:38We'll conspire
32:40As we dream
32:42By the fire
32:44To face unafraid
32:46The plans that remain
32:48Walking in a winter wonderland
32:51Oh, well, let's go
32:55We'll be talking, let's go
32:57To be continued
32:59To be continued
33:00By the fire
33:01We'll be talking, let's go
33:02With your return
33:03We'll be talking, let's come
33:04Back to the fire
33:05With your return
33:06To be continued
33:07With your return
33:08And with the fire
33:09It's been a long time
33:10In your return
33:11The fire
33:12To be continued
33:13With your return
33:14Your return
33:15To be continued
33:16Welcome back to Last Leg, we're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill.
33:35Alex, you're definitely changing.
33:37I feel a little bit more Christmassy at the moment.
33:39Do you?
33:40I'm feeling a little bit different at the moment, but...
33:43You're definitely progressing.
33:44No, I haven't.
33:46Okay, Josh, would you like to explain who you are now?
33:50No, I'm from the Band-Aid video.
33:52So I'm Sarah Dallin from Bananarama, of course.
33:56Look at these jeans, they're fucking brilliant.
34:02It ain't what I do, it's the way that I do it, we've always said it.
34:08And obviously, I'm Tom Hanks in the movie Forrest Gump, because he famously said life
34:13is like a box of chocolates and the main time you get chocolates is at Christmas.
34:18You still look a bit like you're going to strip.
34:22You know, Forrest Hump.
34:25And now, throughout the show we've been putting Alex through his paces to see how he'd fare
34:29on the US reality series Finding Mr Christmas.
34:33The winner of the first series, by the way, earned a leading role in a holiday movie about
34:37the owner of a Seattle dog shelter who falls for a meticulous webpage editor.
34:42The movie was called Happy Howlidays.
34:46See what you did there.
34:47And see what they did there.
34:48Love it.
34:49All right, I'm going to send everyone, if you could all go over and get ready for the
34:52next challenge for Alex, please, over in that corner of the studio.
34:56So Alex's final challenge tonight is to test out his acting chops in a scene we've written
35:01as the ultimate hallmark Christmas movie.
35:05Lights.
35:06Camera.
35:07Christmas.
35:08Help.
35:09Help.
35:10I need an emergency appointment.
35:11Oh, my God.
35:12It's Alison Hammond, the big city TV presenter.
35:13That's right.
35:14I've become so career focused, I've lost touch with what's important in life.
35:28I'm single and I'm home for the holidays.
35:31And?
35:32And I've hit a dog.
35:37Oh, my God.
35:38What happened?
35:39I'll tell you what happened.
35:41It's quite difficult to talk because it's really tight on the jaw.
35:58At least do a dog voice.
35:59I'll tell you what happened.
36:00That's better.
36:01Is that better?
36:02That's better.
36:03I was just sitting there by the side of the road licking my own balls and she came round
36:16the corner like a lunatic and hit me.
36:19Yeah, but he's such a cutie.
36:20I've really fallen for him.
36:22Is there anyone here who can treat him?
36:24I can't let him die.
36:25I'm the presenter of For the Love of Dogs.
36:29Of course, Miss Hammond.
36:30Do you know what?
36:31The hot vet will see you now.
36:32Oh.
36:33But I'm next.
36:34I'm sorry, Mr Hill.
36:35Your cat's going to have to wait.
36:37It's not the cat I'm worried about.
36:39It's the Robins.
36:40I'm afraid Miss Hammond is next.
36:51But I'm on the telly.
36:52I know, but not as much as Alison.
36:54No one's on the telly as much as Alison.
36:59The hot vet will see you now.
37:04Somebody order a dream boat.
37:07Are you the hot vet?
37:09Yes.
37:10I'm sweating buckets.
37:11Do you know how hard it is to operate with these little hands?
37:14You look like a man who could really heal my heart.
37:17I mean, dog.
37:18What kind of dog is it?
37:20I don't know.
37:21One of those really little whiny ones by the looks of it.
37:24I'll tell you what.
37:27Why don't you come back to my charming little cottage
37:30and have Christmas with me and my children?
37:32They've been missing a mother figure in their life
37:34ever since my wife died in a tragic Christmas kite accident.
37:38Oh.
37:39Yeah, and then we could go back to the big city
37:41and maybe you could become the resident vet on This Morning.
37:45Bosh!
37:46There you go, little fella.
37:50Oh, what?
37:51Get that on there, boy.
37:52Is that it?
37:53Stop whinging or I'll cut your bollocks off.
37:57Come on, princess.
37:59Let's go.
38:00Ha, ha, ha.
38:05Oi, what about my robins?
38:11This Christmas, Alex Brooker is the hot vet
38:15in Hallmark's new movie, Vet the Hall.
38:18Alright, it's time to bring out a Christmassy mystery guest.
38:32Harry and Alison have to try to work out
38:34why they were in the news this year.
38:36Can we please have this week's mystery guest?
38:39Mystery guest, mystery guest, Christmas mystery guest.
38:43Oh, what fun it is to have a Christmas mystery guest.
38:47Guest!
38:49Welcome, Josh, Alex, who is the mystery guest?
38:51This is Rob.
38:52He was in the news this year for a Christmassy reason.
38:55Mm-hm.
38:56But what was it?
38:57Can we have the dramatic lighting change, please?
38:59So, did Rob get suspended from Broadland Radio
39:05for playing All I Want For Christmas Is You
39:07on October the 3rd?
39:09Did he get suspended as a school exam invigilator
39:12after playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade
39:15to signal the end of the final exam?
39:18Or did Rob get suspended by an undertaker
39:21after mistakenly playing Last Christmas
39:23rather than the last post at a funeral?
39:26LAUGHTER
39:31What do you think?
39:32Well, I don't think you'd make a mistake at a funeral.
39:34You'd be well prepared.
39:36Does he look like an undertaker?
39:39LAUGHTER
39:41That's a grave digger.
39:43That's a grave digger, yeah.
39:45LAUGHTER
39:46Well, tell you what, we'll reveal the mystery guest
39:48after the break.
39:49Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas.
39:51We'll see you in a little bit.
39:53APPLAUSE
39:56Welcome back to Last Leg.
40:10We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill.
40:12Alex has now become full Father Christmas.
40:16Ho! Ho! Ho!
40:18There you go.
40:21APPLAUSE
40:23You know what?
40:25In another reality where the cards had fallen different,
40:28he'd currently be doing that in a grotto in a garden centre.
40:31LAUGHTER
40:32You're not entirely sure what's going on with your costume.
40:35Well, I didn't think we had very long,
40:37so I was the dog already,
40:39so I just shoved mine on top of the dog.
40:41LAUGHTER
40:42OK.
40:43So I'm Boy George.
40:44LAUGHTER
40:46APPLAUSE
40:47Do you know what I'm calling this outfit?
40:48What?
40:49Hair Boy George.
40:50Oh, lovely.
40:51Lovely.
40:52And clearly, I'm Tom Hanks from Castaway,
40:54because when he first experiences pain due to an infected tooth
40:57that goes on to become an ongoing issue whilst he's on the island,
40:59he's at a Christmas dinner.
41:01LAUGHTER
41:02Oh, and I've got the volleyball as well.
41:03Um...
41:04Hooray!
41:05LAUGHTER
41:06LAUGHTER
41:07I recognise that handprint.
41:08LAUGHTER
41:09Before the break, we challenged our guest to work out
41:11how this person was connected to the news.
41:12Can we have the option to go to the news?
41:14Can we have the option to go to the news?
41:15Can we have the option to go to the news?
41:16OK.
41:17I'm Tom Hanks from Castaway.
41:18And clearly, I'm Tom Hanks from Castaway,
41:19because when he first experiences pain due to an infected tooth
41:20that goes on to become an ongoing issue whilst he's on the island,
41:22he's at a Christmas dinner.
41:23Oh, and I've got the volleyball as well.
41:24Um...
41:25Hooray!
41:26Hooray!
41:27Hooray!
41:28Hooray!
41:29Hooray!
41:30Yes, this is Rob, and he was connected to the news this year
41:33for a Christmassy reason.
41:34But what was it?
41:35Was it because Rob got suspended from Broadland Radio
41:37for playing All I Want For Christmas Is You on October 3rd?
41:40Was it because he got suspended as a school exam invigilator
41:42after playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade
41:45to signal the end of the final exam?
41:47Or did he get suspended by an undertaker
41:49after mistakenly playing Last Christmas Eve
41:51to sign the end of the final exam?
41:54Or did he get suspended by an undertaker
41:56after mistakenly playing Last Christmas Eve
41:58after mistakenly playing Last Christmas
42:00rather than the last post at a funeral?
42:03Ho, ho!
42:04Yeah.
42:05Harry, Ellison?
42:07Could we...
42:08Could you say something sort of local radio-ish?
42:12That we could see whether...
42:13Coming up on the show!
42:14Well, hi, folks.
42:16Hope you're having a good Sunday.
42:17Uh...
42:18Yeah.
42:19Yeah, is that it?
42:20You've got a good voice for radio!
42:21What do you think?
42:22Could you say...
42:23You could have said no, Rob.
42:24Uh...
42:28Shall we go with the radio?
42:30Yes, it's very...
42:31We think...
42:32Would they suspend someone just for playing...
42:33It's a bit mean, isn't it?
42:35If they've done that, that is mean.
42:37It's a cutthroat world local radio.
42:38I won't be listening to that radio station anyway.
42:40Oh, exactly.
42:41Yeah, that's the last time you listened to Broadland radio, isn't it?
42:44LAUGHTER
42:45Well, I thought you said Broadmoor.
42:47LAUGHTER
42:49LAUGHTER
42:50Rob, can you reveal your identity, please?
42:56I am indeed Rob Chandler,
43:00breakfast presenter at Broadland radio,
43:02and I was suspended for playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song
43:06early in October.
43:07Amazing.
43:08Ooh, gee!
43:11So why did you play it, and then why did they suspend you?
43:14Well, it started with a text from a listener called Becky,
43:18who said she was putting out her Christmas stock in her shop,
43:22and could I play a Christmas song?
43:24So I thought, tell you what,
43:25if I get at least five listener texts saying, ho, ho, ho...
43:30Ho, ho, ho!
43:31Exactly.
43:33LAUGHTER
43:34I'll consider it.
43:35And we did.
43:36We got a load of texts saying, ho, ho, ho.
43:38One or two saying, no, no, no.
43:40LAUGHTER
43:41But then Billy the Taxi Driver...
43:43You must know Billy the Taxi Driver.
43:45No.
43:46LAUGHTER
43:49Another keen listener text and said,
43:53there's a tub of chocolates in it for you,
43:55if you play Mariah Carey.
43:57Mariah Carey, all I want for Christmas is you.
44:00So, came back after the news, and I read that text out,
44:04and I said, quite frankly, I'm disappointed, Billy,
44:07that you could think I could be so shallow to fall...
44:11Here we go.
44:12..for such a blatant bribe.
44:13He knows what he's doing.
44:14Yeah.
44:15Ding, ding, ding, ding.
44:16Oh!
44:18Played a song.
44:19Yeah.
44:20How long was he suspended for?
44:22How long was he suspended?
44:23One day.
44:24Oh, is that all?
44:25Yeah.
44:26Did he go shopping?
44:27What did he do?
44:28Yeah, well, just stayed in bed all day.
44:29Chill day.
44:31Can we please have a round of applause for Rob?
44:39All right, we are about to end the show with the Christmas
44:41sing-along from Rick Astley, but before we do,
44:43would you please thank our guests, Alison Hammond!
44:48Harry Hill!
44:51And my co-host, Josh Riddicker!
44:54And Alex Brooker!
44:56We'll be back next week for our New Year's Eve special
44:58with an incredible line-up.
44:59Musician Peter Doherty,
45:00comedians Maisie, Adam and Phil Wang,
45:02national treasure Sir Lenny Henry,
45:04TV personality Danny Dyer,
45:06rugby star Hannah Botterman,
45:08Lioness Lucy Bronze,
45:09as well as a celebrity barman who is 100% faithful,
45:12who?
45:14Right now, though, Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas.
45:17Thanks for watching at last link.
45:18My name's Adam Hills.
45:19Merry Christmas to all,
45:20and to all, a good night.
45:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:25You better watch out, you better not cry,
45:34you better not pout, I'm telling you why,
45:37Santa Claus is coming to town.
45:42It's snowing road, let's go!
45:44Here we go!
46:08Yeah!
46:09He sees you when you're sleeping
46:13He knows when you're awake
46:16He knows if you've been bad or good
46:20So be good for goodness sake
46:23You better watch out, you better not cry
46:27You better not pout, I'm telling you why
46:30Santa Claus is coming to town
46:35He's got eight billion toys on his sleigh
46:40He's packed, he's coming your way
46:44Santa, it's coming to town
46:50Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
46:54Bang! Merry Christmas!
47:05Thank you
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