- 6 days ago
QI XL S23E08 Weird and Wonderful
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00:00I
00:30Hello and welcome to QI, but tonight we'll be taking a walking tour
00:36of the weird and the wonderful.
00:37Let me welcome, weirdly, the washable Melanie Bracewell.
00:43The windproof, Roisin Conaty.
00:48The world, Patrick Kilty.
00:53And our own Mr Whippy, Alan Davis.
01:00There buzzes our wonderful Melanie goes.
01:03We're the wonderful world.
01:07Roisin goes.
01:09The wonderful world.
01:12Patrick goes.
01:14We're the wonderful world tonight.
01:18And Alan goes.
01:21Wonderful world.
01:26I love that little one.
01:27Right, now that we've all warmed up, for question one, let's have a jolly good wink.
01:36OK, so my question is, how does that make you feel if I wink at you?
01:40I felt many things inside when you winked at me, Sandy.
01:42I was mainly thinking that maybe in uni it wasn't a phase, but...
01:46LAUGHTER
01:47No, no, straight away, two points.
01:51It depends how long the wink lasts.
01:55I think a quick wink, and you think, oh, I'm enjoying that, but a slow, long wink, yeah, you're going to get killed.
02:03A quick wink just sort of says, it's a sort of, like, how you doing?
02:07It's like a kiss on the cheek as opposed to a Frenchie.
02:10LAUGHTER
02:10It depends who's doing the wink.
02:12I mean, you're winking at me.
02:14Now, that kind of makes me feel that you mightn't really be a lesbian.
02:18LAUGHTER
02:19OK, I'm doing well on both sides, yeah.
02:23LAUGHTER
02:24They did a study on this, right?
02:26So, in 1999, the researchers approached different strangers,
02:28asked them what time it was, and then thanked them with a wink,
02:30and they interviewed them afterwards.
02:32And strangers usually had positive feelings towards the winker
02:36as long as they were of the opposite sex.
02:39What I liked is, so, 11% thought the researcher fancied them,
02:426% thought the poor person had something wrong with their eye.
02:47I always think you're getting sort of a bargain at the market.
02:50You just pay full price, but they wink at you, and you feel like,
02:52I must have got some sort of bargain.
02:53Some deal.
02:54It just means that it's stolen goods.
02:56LAUGHTER
02:57But how would that work with the time?
03:00So, someone goes, it's 3.30, then you think,
03:03they've given me an extra couple of minutes.
03:05LAUGHTER
03:05I didn't realise I was quite a good winker,
03:09until... And it happens to me quite a lot.
03:14Whenever you walk down the street,
03:15there's quite a lot of people from the other side of the street
03:17shout, Oi, keelty!
03:19Winker.
03:20LAUGHTER
03:21I think that's what they're saying.
03:23Yeah, no. Can you show me your wink?
03:26OK. Do you normally wink with the right eye?
03:28The right one is the more,
03:30and then the left one is more,
03:32you are the weakest link.
03:34Bye-bye.
03:35OK, see, so, people have a dominant and a non-dominant eye,
03:38and usually you leave the dominant eye open,
03:41and you wink with the other eye,
03:43and two-thirds of us are right eye dominant,
03:45so we wink with the left.
03:46What about you?
03:47I've got very good winking skills.
03:49To scare my sister as a child,
03:51I just go like that.
03:53LAUGHTER
03:53Wow, because your other eye doesn't move.
03:57So I could do...
03:57And that's not with the winking,
03:58you do need to scrunch.
04:00Yeah.
04:00The wink has to have the scrunch, like,
04:02that means you're not getting killed.
04:04That's just...
04:05Paddy was...
04:06Oh, that's it.
04:06He was putting it in a bit of a knot.
04:08Yeah, and a scrunch.
04:09What if you do one with a back,
04:11and you go...
04:12LAUGHTER
04:12That honestly looks like a stroke, yeah.
04:15LAUGHTER
04:16And having a stroke and having a wink
04:21can sometimes be the same thing.
04:22LAUGHTER
04:23But your dominant eye and your dominant hand,
04:27they're often linked together,
04:28so if you write with your left,
04:29you probably wink with your right.
04:31A tiny proportion of people cannot wink at all.
04:33Is there anybody in the audience who cannot wink?
04:35There's one person there.
04:38What happens when you try?
04:39You look like an idiot.
04:40You look like an idiot.
04:42Come and join the panel.
04:43LAUGHTER
04:44So if you can't wink at all,
04:47there may be a problem with your orbicularis oculi muscles,
04:50so that's the bit that helps your eyelids to close.
04:53It doesn't matter in the least.
04:55So that's winking in real life,
04:57but what's the point of the winking emoji?
05:00It kind of depends what comes after the winking emoji,
05:05you know, because if it's winking emoji with thumbs up...
05:08Right.
05:08Yeah.
05:09..that's kind of, see you later.
05:11Yeah.
05:11I mean, if it's winking emoji with aubergine emoji...
05:15Yeah.
05:15..after it's...
05:16I was just trying to tell you I was excited
05:18about the new soccer we're going to have later.
05:20LAUGHTER
05:21I think it means it's a joke.
05:25Yeah.
05:25It's universally understood in Latin America, China,
05:28as to mean sarcasm,
05:29and apparently it's something young people use
05:30with the older generation,
05:32because as people become older,
05:34they are less good at detecting sarcasm,
05:37what's known as decoding non-literal language,
05:39and so it's quite a good idea to go,
05:41I was just kidding.
05:42Oh.
05:43Do you two, Mel and Rasheen,
05:45know what I mean when I talk about mascara face?
05:47Yeah, I know.
05:48Yeah, what is that?
05:49Yeah.
05:51Open your mouth.
05:51Do you not open your mouth?
05:52Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:54How many women open their mouth when they apply mascara?
05:58Yeah.
05:58Yeah.
05:58It's just a weird thing.
06:00You're just, you're putting on mascara,
06:02your face is perfectly normal,
06:03and you suddenly go...
06:04LAUGHTER
06:05Like that.
06:06Lots of people do it.
06:07Nobody's really sure why.
06:10It's possible that the nerves that control our eye
06:13and our jaw muscles are rooted very close together
06:15in the brain,
06:15so that when one fires,
06:16the other one goes off.
06:17I always felt like it was the shock
06:18of seeing yourself put things near your eyes.
06:21Your mouth goes,
06:21what are you doing?
06:22LAUGHTER
06:24Here's a weird thing.
06:25Did you know that our anus is wink?
06:28No-one saw that coming!
06:32If you had told me a few years ago,
06:34Melanie, you're going to come on QI,
06:35and Sandy Toxford is going to ask you
06:37if your anus winks,
06:38I don't know if I would have believed.
06:40Is it to denote sarcasm?
06:42LAUGHTER
06:43I'm doing it.
06:45Nothing's happening.
06:46Nothing's happening.
06:46LAUGHTER
06:47I've done ten on the bounce.
06:49LAUGHTER
06:50It's just making your jaw move, though.
06:53LAUGHTER
06:54Mascara has appeared in my eyes.
06:58LAUGHTER
06:59Apparently, when your anal sphincter is touched,
07:03it contracts, and that is anal winking.
07:05Is anyone else clinching hearing this?
07:07LAUGHTER
07:08I think I can actually, there's so many people in this room,
07:11I think I can actually hear anuses.
07:13LAUGHTER
07:14Like, it's quite, I'm like, what's that noise?
07:17Oh, it's everyone trying to wink their anus, in a sense.
07:19LAUGHTER
07:20It's worth paying attention to,
07:22because if you have a weak anal wink,
07:23you could have a spinal injury.
07:24I think, if you had a spinal injury,
07:26I don't think you'd be diagnosed by looking at your anus, would it?
07:29LAUGHTER
07:30I think you'd be going,
07:31Ah!
07:32Yeah.
07:33I just noticed you're winking there with your arsehole, Mr David.
07:36LAUGHTER
07:37If Ellen and I do it at the same time, is there an anal blink?
07:40LAUGHTER
07:42OK, if you do it at the same time, I'll give you £10.
07:45LAUGHTER
07:46We're both doing it right now.
07:47We're both doing it right now.
07:49Right, you've got some objects under your desk.
07:51How can they help you survive in the wild?
07:55You've got a pair of trousers.
07:56I've found a watch.
07:57Patrick, you've got some condoms.
07:59But never mind that, what's his object?
08:01LAUGHTER
08:03This was not on my bingo list for QI.
08:06Sandy, I don't have my condoms.
08:08LAUGHTER
08:09In my whole life, I've never helped a boy look for condoms.
08:12LAUGHTER
08:19See this, darling?
08:20That's a condom.
08:21LAUGHTER
08:22LAUGHTER
08:24That was brought up Irish Catholic?
08:27LAUGHTER
08:28Is that a QI-branded condom?
08:29I know, is that cute?
08:30It's so exciting.
08:31Am I allowed to open this one?
08:32Do you want to open it?
08:33Yes, sure.
08:34I don't know.
08:35I was like, you've only got one saving.
08:36LAUGHTER
08:37That is an impressive one to put out.
08:38LAUGHTER
08:39All of the following tricks, they're in the wilderness survival guides.
08:40OK.
08:41As we had such a fuss with the condom, let's start with that.
08:42Yes.
08:43How do you think that might be useful?
08:44If you are stuck in the wild, you're on a desert island.
08:45No, no.
08:46When you say the wild, you mean like a remote forest, not a night out in Newcastle?
08:47No, no.
08:48You're by yourself in some remote place.
08:49Yes.
08:50And you find you've got just that condom in your pocket.
08:51How useful would it be?
08:52You could carry water in it.
08:53Oh, no.
09:18That's why I normally do.
09:20I think it sounds like someone who went into the wild very optimistic and then went, no, no, it's just for water, actually.
09:29Darling, you can carry four litres of water. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, he's doing it. Okay.
09:36Yes, so you can carry a lot of water in a condom and it is very... I mean, don't get the lubricated kind.
09:42It's also very good for waterproofing. You could use it to store Tinder or electronics.
09:47Oh, my God. Are you going to throw that? I've got a horrible...
09:49I mean, we have a six-year-old and a nine-year-old at home, so I think we know where this is going, Alan.
09:55Oh, my God, I'm nervous, I'm nervous! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh!
10:04Oh, it's turning into semen.
10:07What else can you do? What else in the wilderness might you do apart from water?
10:20Is it, um, if you are, like, one of the last people on Earth and you're supposed to...
10:25I mean, there's your TikTok right there. I don't know why that's...
10:31Sorry, Mel. I'm sorry, Mel. No.
10:36But is it like if you're one of the last people on Earth and you need to repopulate but the first person you meet is a bit of a munter?
10:42LAUGHTER
10:45No, so they make great fire lighters. Oh.
10:48Once set on fire, they should burn for a few minutes. And...
10:50Hopefully not with friction.
10:52LAUGHTER
10:55Are you serious?
10:56LAUGHTER
10:58Get the water filled up! Get the water filled up!
11:01LAUGHTER
11:02That's the episode of Cast Away with Tom, Hanks, we all want to see.
11:06LAUGHTER
11:07Cocks on fire! Cocks on fire!
11:11The other thing, of course, you can use for fire lighter in the wilderness is tortilla chips.
11:15They have so much fat in them that they make very, very good fire lighters.
11:18Where...where do you get them in the wilderness?
11:20Well, you've got to be lucky enough to have them about your person.
11:23Take your own Doritos.
11:24I think that's right.
11:25Let's move on to your one, Alan.
11:26A watch.
11:27What might you do in the wilderness to save yourself with a watch?
11:29Well, obviously the time's very important.
11:33LAUGHTER
11:36Any thought what you might do?
11:38You could use it to direct sunlight.
11:42Yes.
11:43And, er...burn ants.
11:45LAUGHTER
11:48Light a fire, like that.
11:49Well, you could.
11:50You'd have to take the convex lens cover off and use it to direct sunlight.
11:53To create some fire.
11:54You could.
11:55OK.
11:56It has to be an analogue watch and not a digital one.
11:58But the main thing that you can do is use it as a compass.
12:01Oh, can you?
12:02Yes.
12:03So, if you point the hour hand at the sun in the Northern Hemis...
12:08LAUGHTER
12:09That's a shame.
12:10Imagine that's the sun right there, darling.
12:12Right there.
12:13OK, so you point the hour hand at the sun and we are in the Northern Hemisphere.
12:16The point between the hour hand and 12 o'clock roughly faces south.
12:21In the Southern Hemisphere it roughly faces north.
12:23Oh, wow.
12:24Doesn't that depend what time it is?
12:27LAUGHTER
12:29You can use the metal back as a reflector to try and attract attention.
12:35I still think my idea's best, using it to tell what time it is.
12:39Just tell what time it is.
12:40LAUGHTER
12:42Rasheen, what have you got?
12:45I've got some trousers.
12:47Trying to save your life with a pair of trousers.
12:49How might I do that?
12:50Save my life?
12:51Mm.
12:52You could make a hammock out of them.
12:53Ooh!
12:54And then you could be in the trees, while below you,
12:57poisonous snakes and insects were looking up and, oh, shit.
13:01LAUGHTER
13:02Trouser hammock.
13:04The one who knows what the time is.
13:07LAUGHTER
13:10Watch out for burning condom, arse now.
13:13LAUGHTER
13:14What time are my Doritos turning up?
13:16LAUGHTER
13:17Imagine that you are on an island.
13:19Say your ship has gone down and you want to get to the island in the first place,
13:23the trousers might be very useful.
13:25A sail? You make a sail?
13:27Do you inflate it like a life jacket?
13:28That is correct.
13:29Oh!
13:30Oh!
13:31Yes, absolutely correct.
13:32APPLAUSE
13:34So...
13:36You need to make them wet, first of all, right?
13:38OK.
13:39You need to trap the air, so swing the waist over like that.
13:41Is that man alone?
13:42LAUGHTER
13:43Or is that somebody else's legs round his neck?
13:46LAUGHTER
13:47I mean, I wouldn't need these, cos, I mean, I'd just blow up me condom.
13:50Yeah, there is that.
13:51There is that.
13:52Track air in the trousers by swinging the waist overhead,
13:54pop your head through the hole of the two trouser legs,
13:57and it should...
13:58Oh, so you've tied up the bottom.
13:59Yeah.
14:00You've got, like, togs and then somehow there's been air in it
14:03and you look like you've got massive testicles.
14:05Yeah.
14:06No-one's had that before?
14:07Yes, I've had that.
14:08LAUGHTER
14:092019, it saved a sailor's life.
14:11His boat's boom knocked him off the boat off the coast of New Zealand
14:14and he remembered seeing this thing.
14:16And he floated for four hours in his life jacket trousers
14:19until he was rescued.
14:20So it is a thing.
14:22You set about using it for a hammock.
14:23You can tear it apart, of course, for the fabric,
14:25but mainly if you were saving your life on an island,
14:27you might use it as a tourniquet.
14:29Use one of these as a tourniquet as well, by the way.
14:31Yes.
14:32LAUGHTER
14:33I don't know which bit of your body is that small.
14:37LAUGHTER
14:38She had a nasty cut on your finger.
14:40Oh!
14:41100% wasn't what I was thinking.
14:43LAUGHTER
14:44That's so unsettling to just have that left out on the...
14:48Oh!
14:49Oh!
14:50It's really creepy, isn't it?
14:52It's quite...
14:53It's that little stress toy, isn't it?
14:54ARGH!
14:55ARGH!
14:56ARGH!
14:57ARGH!
14:58I don't know why I'm wincing.
15:00LAUGHTER
15:01Right, Mel, what about your...
15:03How stressed are you?
15:04Oh, my gosh.
15:05Ah, bubble wrap, bubble wrap.
15:06Oh, it's quite just fun to play with, isn't it?
15:08What would you use it for in the wilderness?
15:10OK.
15:11Bubble wrap, is it if the condom breaks,
15:13you can MacGyver another one.
15:15Um...
15:16Wow!
15:17Can you imagine using bubble wrap?
15:18That would be just...
15:19Like, in the actual moment of its use,
15:22it's just, yeah, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
15:24LAUGHTER
15:26Keep you warm, you could wrap up in it.
15:28Yeah?
15:29Is the correct answer.
15:30Oh!
15:31OK.
15:32APPLAUSE
15:33Yeah.
15:34That's also how they store Alan in between series.
15:38LAUGHTER
15:39So, used to ward off hypothermia,
15:41and lots of people do it, the air ambulance service,
15:44sometimes wrap patients in bubble wrap on the way to hospital.
15:47Then they'll be fine if they accidentally drop them.
15:49Yes.
15:50Yes!
15:51That's a very good point.
15:52Although, they have now done scientific studies on this,
15:55because I think people presume the trapped air is going to provide
15:57some kind of insulation, and you might as well put people in a blanket.
16:01Apparently, it doesn't make any difference whatsoever.
16:03But...
16:04Sorry.
16:05That's OK.
16:06People who collect bubble wrap for the air ambulance,
16:08get them a blanket.
16:09Wrap artists.
16:10LAUGHTER
16:12LAUGHTER
16:13How dare you?
16:14Oh.
16:15How dare you?
16:16You're not exactly pulling your weight, you know.
16:18LAUGHTER
16:19If you're heading into the bush,
16:21don't forget to bring a condom.
16:23LAUGHTER
16:24Wow.
16:25I literally just realised what I said.
16:27LAUGHTER
16:30Er, right.
16:31Describe a normal working day for Amy, the human fly.
16:35Woke up.
16:36Took a shit in the marmalade.
16:38LAUGHTER
16:39Ate the shit in the marmalade.
16:41Flew into the window, hurt my head, went to sleep again.
16:44Does she keep sort of heading against a window
16:47and then realising it's the glass ceiling?
16:49Is it that?
16:50Oh, no, I like that.
16:51That's very good.
16:52That's very good.
16:53That's political.
16:54APPLAUSE
16:55Find and avoid Dave the human spider.
16:58LAUGHTER
17:00This was a real person.
17:01She was a novelty act.
17:02OK, so there were special shoes invented
17:05that enabled her to walk on the ceiling.
17:08Oh!
17:09With suckers?
17:10So at first nobody knew and it was a secret as to how it worked,
17:13but she would walk upside down up to 90 feet in the air.
17:15So there she is, ceiling walker.
17:17Mademoiselle Amy, surnamed the human fly.
17:20She was from London but apparently sold more tickets.
17:23Is that...?
17:24Australian novelty.
17:25Oh, that's so classic.
17:26Australian and she's upside down.
17:27Upside down.
17:28Yeah.
17:29That's exactly right.
17:30Anyway, 1887, she's doing her act and she got stuck to the ceiling
17:34because the suction on her shoes proved too strong.
17:37So how did they get her down?
17:39It was a real problem.
17:40She's very high up in the theatre.
17:41Light spray.
17:42LAUGHTER
17:47How long was she up there for?
17:48She was up there for several hours and they couldn't get a ladder to her.
17:51She took her shoes off.
17:52She took her shoes off.
17:53She took her shoes off.
17:54I mean, it's so simple.
17:55LAUGHTER
17:56She fell into the safety net.
17:57Duh!
17:58LAUGHTER
17:59I love that you'd be in the audience going,
18:01just take your bloody shoes off.
18:03LAUGHTER
18:04But you're right, Mel, they were known as an antipodean apparatus
18:07because of the idea that you were upside down.
18:09They were invented by an American mechanical engineer called Walter Hunt
18:12and he tried to keep it secret but, I mean, fundamentally,
18:15not difficult.
18:16Moistened leather suction caps.
18:18LAUGHTER
18:19Moistened leather suction cups.
18:21Can you say that again, please, for TikTok?
18:23Moistened leather suction cups, yeah.
18:24LAUGHTER
18:25I feel this whole show.
18:26Moistened leather suction cups.
18:28Oh, my gosh.
18:29I'll say that and you play with the condom.
18:31LAUGHTER
18:35You ready?
18:36Play with the condom.
18:37Moistened leather suction cups.
18:39LAUGHTER
18:40LAUGHTER
18:46This is like pornography for pensioners, isn't it?
18:48LAUGHTER
18:49Just say moistened and they go,
18:50Woo-hoo!
18:51LAUGHTER
18:52That feels like you could make 500 million on OnlyFans
18:55with that clip.
18:56Really?
18:57No, I think I've got a good voice for porn.
18:58It's quite kind of...
18:59Oh, wow.
19:00And you've got the best hair in the world.
19:01She often says this, Rachel.
19:03Sandy needs to do an advert for her hair.
19:04She needs to tell us how she got it and what she uses.
19:07LAUGHTER
19:08Isn't it?
19:09LAUGHTER
19:10Moistened leather suction cups.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:13LAUGHTER
19:14Yeah, when you say it, it's just creepy.
19:16LAUGHTER
19:17Creepy.
19:18So, Walter Hunt decided that he would teach people how to do this
19:21and one of the people who took him up on this offer
19:23was a guy called Richard Sands.
19:24He was an acrobat and a circus owner.
19:26This is him at Drury Lane using the human flying shoes.
19:30And then, this is a really sad story.
19:32So, 1861, he was in Massachusetts.
19:34He was at some civic event.
19:36And somebody said,
19:37could you just walk on a regular ceiling?
19:38So, here he is walking on a piece of polished marble, right?
19:41And he went, absolutely.
19:43And the shoes worked perfectly,
19:44but the plaster on the ceiling gave work.
19:46Oh!
19:47Yeah.
19:48That's a nightmare.
19:49That was the end of him.
19:50Oh, yeah.
19:51He died?
19:52Killed him, yeah.
19:53Oh, my God.
19:54I thought you meant it was a bad story, like,
19:55he was embarrassed on stage.
19:57LAUGHTER
19:58No.
19:59And then people asked for their money back.
20:00Yeah.
20:01And did they sell the moistened leather suctions?
20:06You can't say it enough, can you?
20:08One previous owner.
20:09LAUGHTER
20:12Plenty of life in these!
20:15Got to get them off the ceiling first.
20:18He's a really interesting guy.
20:20I always love this on QIs,
20:21that you go down a rabbit hole
20:23and then you find something more and more curious.
20:25This guy, Walter Hunt,
20:26the one who invented the shoes for Amy the human fly.
20:28The killer.
20:29The killer, yeah.
20:30He also invented all sorts of things.
20:32He invented an ice-breaking boat,
20:33a street sweeper,
20:34a pedal-activated coach alarm.
20:35He invented a tightrope that snaps.
20:37Yeah.
20:40I have here his most successful invention of all time,
20:44and it is this.
20:46He is the guy that invented the safety pin.
20:49Wow!
20:50I know.
20:51He also invented a mechanical sewing machine,
20:53but both his wife and daughter were seamstresses
20:55and said,
20:56just don't put that out there because we'll be put out of work
20:59and later sewing machine inventors made millions
21:02and he didn't make any money, but he made one.
21:04Yeah.
21:05But this may have Walter Hunt to thank.
21:07I just love the fact that he killed someone,
21:10fallen off the ceiling,
21:11so he decided to put the word safety in the next invention.
21:13Yes.
21:15He could be fine with this.
21:16I feel like we're making him the villain.
21:17I feel like the real villain is the plasterer.
21:19The plasterer.
21:20Yeah.
21:21Would you like to have a go?
21:22I would have a go.
21:23What?
21:24I don't think I'm that agile.
21:25OK.
21:26And also, I've got a massive head.
21:27Have you?
21:28I think it's bigger than average.
21:30Like, hats are a problem.
21:31Well, you could get a moistened leather suction.
21:38I'd hate to see that.
21:42Right.
21:43What might you get up to on a Bulgarian pleasure wheel?
21:46Ooh.
21:47What's a Bulgarian pleasure wheel?
21:49Do you wear it or insert it?
21:50No.
21:51So it used to be another term for those big wheels
21:53that you see at the fairgrounds that people ride on.
21:56Ferris wheel?
21:57Yes.
21:58That is right.
21:59They were, of course, invented by...
22:00Billy Ferris.
22:01Peter Ferris.
22:02Peter Ferris.
22:03Billy's his brother.
22:04No.
22:05Billy Ferris.
22:06Billy Ferris.
22:07No.
22:08Nicky Ferris.
22:09Pan Ferris.
22:10No.
22:11I think they just claxened you, then.
22:12I think that was...
22:13I think...
22:14I'm very upset.
22:15I think I just lost.
22:16You've never been ten points behind it.
22:17I know.
22:18This is very upsetting for me.
22:19George Ferris.
22:20Oh, George Ferris, yeah.
22:21But in fact, they've been around for hundreds of years,
22:22and there was a very famous one in a place called Plovdiv in Bulgaria,
22:24about 1620, something like that.
22:26And as a result, until about the 1800s,
22:27they were known as Bulgarian pleasure wheels or Bulgarian ride,
22:28and that was the name for them in lots of countries around the world.
22:29The very first sighting of one in England, 1728, at the Bartholomew Fair in Smithfield,
22:33where it was called the Ups and Downs.
22:34I don't really like them.
22:35Don't like them.
22:36Why?
22:37I don't like them.
22:38Why?
22:39I don't like them.
22:40Why?
22:41I don't like them.
22:42I don't like them.
22:43Why?
22:44I don't like them.
22:45I don't like them.
22:46Why?
22:47I don't like them.
22:48I don't like them.
22:49Why?
22:50I don't like them.
22:51Why?
22:52When it's rocking a little bit and you feel like,
22:53well, this could go over, surely.
22:54Are we still talking about the Ferris?
22:55And I think it's a lot.
22:56To call it a pleasure wheel, I think you need to be getting, like, a massage, a donut.
23:12Yeah.
23:13It's an endurance wheel, I think.
23:14It's an endurance wheel.
23:15You're absolutely right, Alan.
23:16You know what we should call a pleasure wheel, which I think has a harsh name?
23:20A lazy Susan.
23:22That's a pleasure wheel.
23:23I love a lazy Susan.
23:25Yeah?
23:26Many a meal, I've gone round on one of those.
23:29Were you wearing moistened leather suction?
23:34You think I stayed off?
23:37Faster!
23:38Faster!
23:39Faster!
23:40Faster!
23:41Clicking onto the soy sauce.
23:46George Ferris built a huge one for the 1893 World Columbian Exposition in Chicago.
23:51But he wasn't even the person to propose it as an idea.
23:54And Ferris later admitted he'd already ridden such a wheel in Atlantic City.
23:58One that was built by a man called William Summers.
24:01And he called it an observation roundabout.
24:03Why do you think they wanted a Ferris wheel at the Chicago Exposition?
24:07What else had been built recently that they thought, actually, let's try and rival that and show what an amazing engineering feat we can create?
24:14Empire State Building?
24:15No, Empire State Building is a bit later on.
24:17Statue of Liberty?
24:18So we're going French?
24:19Oh, Eiffel Tower.
24:20Eiffel Tower, exactly right.
24:21So what were they saying?
24:22They were saying that if you went up in the wheel in Chicago, you could see the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
24:27Well, they did have all sorts of ideas of creating a tower for it.
24:31The idea was to create a tower, one of the proposals, that was nine times as high as the Eiffel Tower.
24:37And that it had rails at the top, right, that slipped gradually downwards for hundreds of miles and connected this tall tower to distant cities.
24:45Which I just think is a fantastic idea.
24:47Of course, never happened.
24:49But I think it's a wonderful idea.
24:51So the idea that you would go up into this tower and then take some kind of toboggan home, you know, if you lived in Milwaukee.
24:58You could walk down with the moistened leather suction cups right there.
25:02There were also people who suggested having cars connected to a very large tower on rubber bands that could then shoot out and come back again.
25:09Wow.
25:10The Ferris wheel suddenly looking quite...
25:11You were insane.
25:12I like the London Eye.
25:14Do you?
25:15I would think it's the best thing in London, actually.
25:17Do you? Why?
25:18It's a really good view.
25:20You can see everything.
25:21You said, I hate Ferris wheels.
25:23Yeah.
25:24But you love the London Eye.
25:25But why would it be OK to hate Ferris wheels and love the London Eye?
25:28Brexit.
25:29It's not a Ferris wheel.
25:34Oh, OK, yeah.
25:36It's not a Ferris wheel.
25:37It's an observation wheel, OK?
25:39Oh, OK.
25:40Because the pods are all fixed on the outside of the rim.
25:42On a Ferris wheel, they're fixed into the rim as you go round.
25:45I mean, it's a subtle distinction.
25:46And you sit with strangers in those little pods?
25:49Yes.
25:50For a romantic moment, you can book out a whole pod, which I have done.
25:52But say you just want to be on your own, can you pretend you're having a romantic moment?
25:56LAUGHTER
25:57Just getting by yourself.
26:00I took my then four-year-old stepdaughter for the very first time.
26:04And when we got to the very top, I said, are you enjoying the London Eye?
26:07And she looked out and she went, where's it gone?
26:09LAUGHTER
26:10OK.
26:11Just before we move on, we glossed over your buying out a pod for a romantic encounter.
26:26I want to know what happened.
26:28Reader, I married her.
26:29Aw!
26:31Did you propose on the wheel?
26:32That's cute.
26:33No, she proposed to me in the bath.
26:34LAUGHTER
26:35You took a bath on the wheel.
26:36I took a bath on the wheel.
26:37LAUGHTER
26:38One was built in Earls Court in 1895, rather aptly named the Great Wheel.
26:50It was the largest wheel in the world, the tallest structure in London at the time, other
26:54than, I think, St Paul's Cathedral.
26:56380 feet tall.
26:57One occasion, 70 people were stuck in it overnight and they were compensated five pa...
27:01Oh, are you OK?
27:02I don't want to be stuck in it overnight.
27:04So what happened was, the people who got stuck in it overnight were compensated five pounds,
27:07which was a huge sum of money in 1895, and so people rode it even more, hoping it would break.
27:14LAUGHTER
27:15How do they have a wee? Can you open the window?
27:18I'm going to need a wee. I'm up twice a night needing a wee.
27:21LAUGHTER
27:22You really want to get stuck at the top of the wheel, then, don't you?
27:25You don't want to be at the bottom like, hold it in!
27:28LAUGHTER
27:29You know, there are people who go on, who live their retirement years on cruise ships,
27:33because it's cheaper than living in a flat.
27:35LAUGHTER
27:36Well, could you get a pod on the London Eye as you're...
27:39LAUGHTER
27:41Just living it.
27:42LAUGHTER
27:43Just living it for the rest of your life, going round and round.
27:45Oh, my God.
27:46You've got your bed in there, you've got your TV, obviously you've got curtains.
27:49You can't use that one, he lives in that.
27:51LAUGHTER
27:53But maybe, probably if you get struck by lightning, that would be a shocker, wouldn't it?
27:56Would you get me a pint?
27:58LAUGHTER
28:02These are the sort of conversations you can enjoy
28:05if you're trapped with Ellen on the London Eye!
28:08LAUGHTER
28:09OK, moving along.
28:11Um...
28:12What are these birds trying to achieve?
28:15Anybody know what the bird is?
28:17It's an American wading bird.
28:19Anybody know what...
28:20What do you think they're doing?
28:21They're all doing it.
28:22Are they eating or trying to have intercourse?
28:24They're hunting by whirling, is what they do.
28:26It's called a Wilson's phalarope.
28:28Swim round and round on the water in really tight, fast circles,
28:31and what it does is it makes like a whirlpool,
28:34and it sucks up insects and small crustaceans from underneath.
28:37It's so effective that they eat so much,
28:40sometimes they double in size and then can't fly off.
28:44LAUGHTER
28:46They fall into that buffet.
28:47Yeah!
28:48LAUGHTER
28:49It's a one-duck lazy Susan, that thing.
28:51Yeah, absolutely.
28:52They're very unusual amongst birds in that the females
28:55are more aggressive and more striking, vibrant colours,
28:58and that is because the females are polyandrous,
29:01so they take multiple male partners
29:03and their role is to compete and to attract multiple males.
29:06They lay up to four clutches of eggs per breeding season
29:09with different fathers and they abandon the eggs
29:12as soon as they find another male.
29:13Oh, man, I'd love to see that spin off of Bummer Mia, wouldn't you?
29:16LAUGHTER
29:18They lead the males to look after the eggs
29:20and to incubate the chicks and they just go off
29:22and find another partner.
29:23What do the men do?
29:24Look after the babies.
29:25That is good stuff.
29:27Yeah.
29:28I'm keen on a Wilson's phalarope.
29:30Geese also whirl.
29:31I don't know if you've ever seen this.
29:32This is one of those amazing things.
29:34So when they're in flight,
29:36they sometimes spin their whole body around to fly upside down
29:40and keep their heads the right way up.
29:43And what it does is it causes their altitude to drop really suddenly.
29:47So if you suddenly wanted to duck out of the way of a predator,
29:50it is called whistling.
29:52But I love that you were saying...
29:53I mean, that's clever.
29:55But alternative B is stop flapping your wings.
29:59LAUGHTER
30:00Yeah.
30:01Oh, I want to descend.
30:02Oh, yeah.
30:03LAUGHTER
30:04But it's interesting, the whole thing about whirling.
30:06So they did a study of gorillas and chimps and orangutans
30:09and so on in 2023 at Warwick University.
30:12And they do this a lot, right?
30:14Oh, my God.
30:15They do it round and round and round.
30:16And what they've now decided is they're just wanting to get dizzy.
30:20Oh, my gosh.
30:21And it's a bit like taking a mind-altering substance.
30:24Oh, wow.
30:25Kids do that.
30:26Yeah.
30:27Kids would get on the swing and then twist it and twist it
30:30and then let go.
30:31Oh, they love that.
30:32Or they just go in the living room and go round and round and round
30:35and round until they fall into the fireplace and crack their heads off.
30:38LAUGHTER
30:39Do you think the monkeys do the same thing,
30:41where they spin around and they get dizzy and then they text their ex?
30:45LAUGHTER
30:47We talked about Bulgarian wheels in the last question.
30:49What was the Dutch whimsy?
30:51Does it involve sticking a finger in a dike?
30:54LAUGHTER
30:56LAUGHTER
30:57LAUGHTER
30:58LAUGHTER
30:59LAUGHTER
31:00LAUGHTER
31:01LAUGHTER
31:02LAUGHTER
31:03LAUGHTER
31:04LAUGHTER
31:05APPLAUSE
31:06APPLAUSE
31:07There used to be frost fairs.
31:08Certainly they had them in London in the 17th to the 19th century
31:10when the Thames used to freeze over.
31:11And what they would do is they would get a boat or a sledge or something
31:15and tie it to a pole and then they would spin it round and round and round.
31:28And it was called a Dutch whimsy.
31:30Oh.
31:31Yeah.
31:32It was a popular ice-based activity.
31:34Oh, sometimes you think, oh, kids have got too much time on the internet
31:36and then you see that and you think, yeah, they needed the internet.
31:38LAUGHTER
31:39Now, what's the most fun you can have with a wok?
31:46You can spin in a wok?
31:48Yes, kind of.
31:49Yeah.
31:50There used to be one in the park.
31:51It's like a wok.
31:52You put the kids in it and then you spin it round and round
31:54and they can't stop it.
31:56LAUGHTER
31:58Their arms and legs are out, their bum's in it,
32:00and they're going round and round.
32:01Ah!
32:02Ah!
32:03Ah!
32:04Like, yeah, it's a bit like that.
32:06OK, so we are heading in the right direction.
32:08I don't know if there's big enough on my bottom, but...
32:10Oh, you can go down a mountain in it.
32:11Yes!
32:12Yes!
32:13Yes, you can.
32:14Wok racing.
32:15Oh, my God!
32:16Yes!
32:17Yes!
32:18It's a winter sport.
32:20That guy looks like he knows that's a bad idea.
32:23Look at his expression.
32:24I'll go for those two died, by the way.
32:27LAUGHTER
32:28So, it's a proper sport.
32:29There's a world championships and everything.
32:31So, they've got a bit of padding round the edge,
32:33but that is basically just a kitchen-quality Chinese wok.
32:36It started as a joke in 2003.
32:39So, the guy on the right is a German comedian called Stefan Raab,
32:43and he was on a game show called Wanna Bet,
32:45and he quipped that he would do this idea.
32:47There have been 15 world championships since then.
32:51Wow.
32:52The most successful wok racer is the guy on the left.
32:54He's a three-time Olympic gold medalist at the Luge,
32:57and he's called Gail Cattle.
32:59But he is a phenomenal wok racer.
33:02He's got little woks on his feet. Look!
33:04Towel feet woks.
33:05Ladels.
33:06They're ladels.
33:07They're ladels?
33:08Yes.
33:09LAUGHTER
33:10Individual racers can reach 60 miles an hour.
33:15Wow.
33:16And then they also have a four-person wok sled,
33:18where they have four woks in a row connected by wood,
33:21and they get up to 75 miles.
33:24Oh, my gosh!
33:25They do run a proper luge run.
33:27Well, of course.
33:28I mean, obviously, you would, wouldn't you?
33:29Yeah.
33:30You wouldn't do it down a high street.
33:32No.
33:33I mean, if you do the race, and at the end,
33:36it shouldn't end when they get over the line,
33:38they then have to cook a stir-fry on.
33:40LAUGHTER
33:41You sit on a stir-fry,
33:43and by the time you get to the bottom, that's cooked.
33:45LAUGHTER
33:47Well, let's get on to the cooking,
33:49cos we've got the wok here.
33:51Does anybody know what is the best way to toss a wok?
33:54You go down, you go down, and then up.
33:57Down and up.
33:58It's a down and up motion.
33:59OK, but it's...
34:00I don't know...
34:01Not like that.
34:02It'll go everywhere.
34:03You've got to go up, like that, like that.
34:05Right.
34:06It's really heavy, can I just say?
34:07Yeah.
34:08So this is a proper professional one.
34:09So have a go, darling, cos it is really a heavy thing.
34:11Ooh!
34:12LAUGHTER
34:18Oh, God.
34:19My anus just winked.
34:21LAUGHTER
34:24Wow.
34:25Take me to your leader.
34:27Is this heavy, though, isn't it?
34:29No, it's not heavy, Sandy.
34:30Oh, OK.
34:31It's not heavy at all.
34:32It's just like that.
34:33You go down and up, and then it goes.
34:34I'm imagining it.
34:35OK.
34:36They're just going up.
34:37OK.
34:38So the Cantonese, they have a term called wok A,
34:40and it means the breath of the wok.
34:41About 550 degrees Celsius.
34:43It's phenomenally hot.
34:44And if you just left it at that high heat,
34:47these incredibly intense temperatures, it would burn.
34:49So that's why you toss it.
34:51And you cool it down by sticking your arse in it
34:53and going down a snow mountain.
34:55LAUGHTER
34:56Would you use it as a hat?
34:57Would that work?
34:58Oh, fuck!
34:59LAUGHTER
35:00LAUGHTER
35:01I feel you've been as stupid as you can be.
35:03LAUGHTER
35:04And then something happens.
35:05LAUGHTER
35:06It makes sense.
35:07It's really good.
35:09It's really good.
35:10It's really good.
35:11It's not as deep as you think.
35:35LAUGHTER
35:36It's deceptive.
35:37It's not as deep as you think.
35:40Oh, this is weird. When you're in it, it echoes your voice.
35:51I think we've answered the question of the most fun thing to do with a walk is to give it to Alan.
35:56Somebody did a scientific study, the physics of tossing fry.
36:01And it's 2.7 times per second that you're supposed to be doing the tossing and two-thirds of all
36:08professional chefs, Chinese chefs have chronic shoulder pain. Are you all right?
36:14I think I'll be all right. I mean, I might get a lump.
36:22So you won't remember any of it?
36:28I'll get in Sky Sports. I'll talk to you later.
36:31You look like a real old-fashioned photographer.
36:33Oh, yeah.
36:34Oh, yeah
36:38Marilyn this way Marilyn can I just say it's all right for you three because you go home after this. I stay here with
36:56Into the whirligig that we call general ignorance fingers on buzzers, please. What is in this dish?
37:04Yeah
37:06seaweed
37:11Call it seaweed it isn't seaweed. Is it the remains of what was in the walk after you go down the mountain?
37:19Is it cabbage? Well kale
37:22Greens or kale different types of cabbage cut into thin strands. It's never seaweed. No, it's never seaweed. What are you telling me here sandy?
37:29Why do they call it seaweed? It was originally an algae specifically called tai chow
37:36Which is kind of like a seaweed but in this country it is typically kale or spring greens and salt and sugar and chinese five spice
37:44So I could make it. Yes. So what do we say now? We saying crispy duck is chicken
37:48All the time
37:51It seems to be pretty much a british chinese invention so I love it as well. I think it's absolutely fantastic
37:57The port of ningbo which is on the very sort of eastern part of the chinese mainland
38:01There was a dish that was rather similar which was peanuts and this algae
38:05So is the stuff that your sushi is wrapped in seaweed or is that something else that is seaweed?
38:09Oh, okay, okay, but there's a lot of stuff where we eat stuff that we think is very chinese and it isn't
38:14Crispy aromatic duck with pancakes. There's another thing. They don't they don't have oh wow. They have a different menu
38:19There was a chinese restaurant that we used to go to a lot
38:22Downstairs there was karaoke and there were a lot of chinese people and upstairs
38:26It was all us eating stuff like that. Yeah, I said what are they eating down there? She goes chinese menu
38:31I said what's on it? She said I I don't want to tell you because you would never eat here again
38:37It's prepared in a very different way the chef first of all hits himself over the head
38:44Now the benin bronzes are a group of sculptures found in museums around the world
38:50Can you name either the modern day country of origin or the material that most of them are made from?
38:58Are they bronze?
39:01Well, i'm gonna give you i'm gonna give you that because you said are they bro it was a question was it not?
39:06Yes, i didn't say it were bronze
39:08But you said bronze sandy another five points off you
39:10Made from brass and not bronze but where are they from benin bronzes?
39:17I mean does it really matter they're probably stolen and they're here in london
39:21It's a little irish joke for you there folks
39:25I think that's a really good answer because they were of course looted by british colonial troops in 1897
39:31So i'm going to give you five points for that
39:38Nigeria yes, so we've got a distinction here between the kingdom of benin and the republic of benin
39:46So there was this kingdom starts about 900 and then goes on to the late 19th century when the british bring an end to it
39:53Then the bit of water around that curve is the bite of benin
39:59And then the republic of benin was named after the bite of benin
40:04But it's about 5 000 artworks made by the edo people of nigeria
40:08Mostly in the 15th 16th century. They're extraordinary and they ought to be where
40:12In a museum in london
40:14Nowadays it's very important that antiquities are spread throughout the united kingdom not just
40:20Yes
40:26Can i just say i'm sorry he's been hit on the head
40:31Here's a history question king ethelred wasn't someone say i'm not saying it
40:38Touching himself
40:45He looks like he's stuck above the top of the wheel and he just sat there for the night
40:50That hat is definitely a moist and leather suction
40:55It's a touch in the ceiling
40:58With the wok
41:00Are you wanting ready is that what you wanted
41:07So what do we think it means he was known as ethelred the unready what does it mean it has nothing to do with being ready
41:13Okay he couldn't read uh no no he's unready oh actually the wok has made him smarter i will say that that was a good gift
41:20That was good yeah he was ill-advised is the thing that's actually what it means so he wasn't readied
41:26That's what i say when i'm late so i was ill-advised the time
41:29That's what i'm saying
41:31Word read had counsel or advice so if you were unrayed you had no counsel or you had bad advice
41:36He ruled england from 978 to 1013 and then again from 1014 to 1016 from 980 the danish viking
41:43i feel i should apologize at this point um the danish vikings regularly raided the english shores and
41:51His first thing to do was he paid the danes loads of money to stay away and that didn't work
41:55Then he tried massacring danish settlers and then he lost his throne to denmark's swine fork beard
42:01Um we thought it was a perfectly sensible name
42:08He doesn't look very smart if you're the king and then someone shows you that as your painting yeah and you don't go are you joking yeah
42:17It's not going to go well on a coin is it so it's about 150 years after he died he was first called unready but it just means
42:24Bad advice red is advice so for example ethelred the unready translates as noble council no council
42:30So the red in alfred has the same root and so alfred means elf
42:35Council another obsolete meaning of the word unready is to get naked
42:40I'd say i'm unready when i'm naked not ready at all all right i'm unready
42:49Whenever i end up naked i normally say i'm ill-advised
42:54Then you turn away with embarrassment and your ass winks it's very it's all
42:57All of which brings us to the weird and wonderful matter of the scores let's take a look in last place
43:04I mean blinking useless with minus 21
43:07It's got no brains left it's alan
43:13In third place marginally better than a poke in the eye with two whole points mel
43:17And in third place nudge nudge wink wink say no more it's paddy and rasheen
43:25That's it for this edition of qi thanks to rasheen patrick mel and alan and i
43:41Leave you with this reflection from the writer gene kerr
43:44I feel about aeroplanes the way i feel about diets it seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on
43:51good night
43:53thank you
44:03Thank you
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