- 5 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00jeez gina i could smell your perfume from the top of the stairs i'm not wearing any perfume
00:10the uh the bottle said unisex how were you this morning i don't know i'm a little frustrated
00:22about my career i mean i came out here a couple months ago with all these goals and i haven't
00:26achieved any of them like what i haven't been on the cover of a magazine i haven't been nominated
00:32for an award i haven't been on even one best dress list what's up with that you were in a magazine
00:38last month you were in people unidentified male next to nicole kidman well something good better
00:44happen for me soon i want to feel like i made the right decision moving out here joey why don't you
00:49do something about it yeah call your agent light a fire onto her oh let me do it i will right part
00:54no no no i'll do it but you're right yeah i should call her i need work not being on tv is even
01:02starting to affect my love life no yeah last night i went out to meet a girl you know for sex
01:11and i realized when i moved out here i lost a big part of my rap i'm no longer joey tribiani
01:16star of days of our lives lines like that actually work well not as good as your man perfume
01:24you know now that i don't have that things are harder you know i gotta say i hate to delight in
01:31this but it's kind of nice that for once you're having a problem with women i mean hey joey
01:38thanks for a fun night oh yeah you take care
01:42i said it was hard i didn't say it was impossible
01:56come on
02:19you want to be all right you gotta watch
02:22oh well he's just walking in right now I'll tell him great news Joey I just got you the
02:36lead in an industrial safety video no no no no no I don't want to do any more stuff like that look
02:46Bobby I came to LA to take the next step in my career and I feel like I'm taking a step back
02:50you know you got me doing these lame auditions lousy commercials that mystery theater thing
02:56at Ted Danson's house I need things to change now oh there's the fiery Latin heartthrob that I took
03:04a chance on I'm not Latin I'm Italian Italian oh no Italians are out this year may be time for you
03:19to call in your boy band connections I wasn't in a boy band I can't catch a break look Bobby you got
03:31to do whatever it takes to get me something and something good otherwise I'm gonna go out and
03:36find someone else who will okay look just give me one more chance I will find you something there's
03:43gonna be no more celebrity parties okay no more cheesy commercials oh and when you get home just
03:50delete the message about MCing the dog show all right okay that's more like it now is there anything I
03:57could do on my end yeah be great if you had some connections who have you met in this business
04:03who's powerful I mean someone who loves you someone you trust just you I guess oh you sweet thing come here oh
04:15oh god slap a diaper on you and nurse you right now
04:21hey Joey hey Alex uh what's going on here oh I'm hosting an alumni event for Northwestern University no no I
04:40meant there's no mustard for the pigs in the blanket where's your head at girl I'll take care of it hey
04:48hey Alex that guy looks familiar but I can't place him usually when I have that feeling it's someone I've
04:53slept with but I don't think it's that he's a movie producer hey can you introduce me to him my agent
05:00said I need to make some Hollywood connections oh yeah sure hey Steve this is uh my friend Joey
05:07Trebiani he's an actor he just moved here from New York a couple months ago hey Steve Carpenter nice
05:11to meet you yeah you too and now if you'll excuse me there's a girl in there I hated in college and
05:15I'm now more successful than so Joey you don't look familiar are you a wildcat well I don't like to brag
05:25about it but I do okay you can go ahead and brag we're all proud we went to Northwestern go wildcats
05:32oh I thought you meant you know you should come in and audition for me sometime really yeah we like
05:37to look out for our own that's why they call us the Northwestern Mafia well we got alumni at every
05:42studio network and major talent agency in this town then I am really glad I went there go wildcats
05:50say what year did you graduate wait let me guess uh 91 wow producer or awesome year guesser
05:58who do I know that was 91 Lance Beckman you know Lance uh is he here no I was in his wedding
06:10if you're new in town I should introduce you to the rest of the Northwestern Mafia that's too bad I
06:14think there's anyone else here from 91 oh dawn that would have been a fun situation hey guys this
06:25is Joey Joey this is Dave he's an executive at Universal oh Mark's in television hey Paul is a
06:31feature director wow yeah Joey's a class of 91 oh yeah what dorm are you in uh different one every
06:38night if you know what I mean so what'd you study not much of anything I'm afraid uh oh fight song
06:50time that way spread for the fame of our fair name go Northwestern win that game and then we'll okay
06:58hey hey where'd you get the Northwestern shirt oh at an organizational meeting for a next year's
07:11homecoming hello Joey I did it I got you a huge audition for tomorrow that was fast what happened well
07:27apparently your friend from Northwestern called the producer and then the producer called me and
07:33offered you the audition and I said okay that's great okay well what's it for well it's a sexy new
07:42nighttime drama set in a mountain resort it's called deep powder it's Baywatch on skis
07:51yes it's the dumbest script I ever read it's gotta be huge all right yeah I'm gonna have my assistant
08:01fax you the audition scene as soon as I get off the phone great Bobby thanks a lot bye-bye what was that
08:08about I got a huge audition for tomorrow oh that's great for what it's a sexy nighttime drama set at a ski
08:15resort oh that sounds fantastic oh my god it's not on against Jag is it well I don't know when it's
08:22gonna be on but this is definitely a part I can get yeah and it's all because I told that guy I went to
08:27Northwestern lion is awesome I can't wait to see the script Bobby's gonna fax it over right now
08:34hello stop calling here damn it every time I'm expecting an important fax this jerk prank calls me
08:44what does he say nothing he just makes this annoying sound
08:47did you go to Northwestern why yes I did well I graduated from Purdue three years ago
09:08so we're rival schools oh yeah I hate you
09:16uh Joey Tribbiani Katie Harper yeah listen I got this audition now but
09:23maybe we could get together sometime and get to the bottom of this rivalry
09:27maybe we can yeah well hey you should give me a call sometime
09:33give your number on a card I do this a lot but also you are very special
09:41hi I'm Joey Tribbiani I'm here to audition for the role of Langdon Powder the sexy young snowboarder
09:52with the secret fast now I don't want to tell you to cancel the rest of your session but I was born
09:56to play this role you're not reading for Langdon huh you're reading for Langdon's dad Langdon's dad
10:07but I'm young and sexy I'm not some old gray-haired guy in a dumb-looking sweater hey how you doing
10:15buddy good luck on the audition hey hey how did the audition go I did the stupidest thing I've ever
10:29done come on honey now we both know that is not true they find out you didn't go to Northwestern no
10:37no no no it's not that I spent all this time preparing for the wrong role you know and they
10:42wouldn't even let me audition and I would have been so great at it if fashion's a crime yo lock
10:47me up because I don't want to live in a world where I can't thrash to the extreme that is great I know
10:55so did you end up auditioning for the right part no it was for the father I'm not old enough to play
11:01the father of a teenager I had a teenager when I was your age but that's different how look I don't
11:09have time to pretend your life is okay I have a problem Joey they called you in I mean he's just
11:17auditioned for the dad I don't know if I can pull it off I have all these heavy scenes with my kids in
11:23the show I don't know how to do that look I know this isn't the kind of role you're used to doing but
11:27you can't just give up cuz you're afraid to fail and I don't think you're gonna fail really I hate
11:35doing this stuff to your face are you gonna make me compliment you I need it turn around I have seen
11:44everything you have done and you are a great actor and on top of that I know that you can play a dad
11:49because I've seen the way you are with Michael and you're like a father to him oh thanks Gina come
12:01here give me a hug God you're such a girl I've been meaning to make a contribution but it keeps slipping
12:15my mind well yes of course I treasure my Northwestern experience and I treasure mine now if you're
12:25willing to pledge a thousand dollars Joey what are you doing excuse me one second ma'am can I call
12:32you back in a few minutes I'm not able to speak freely it's me if you can hear this wave your hand
12:40why are you calling me from my Alumni Association well I didn't know it was you the sheet says Alexis
12:49Garrett that's my full name ooh sexy Joey why are you pretending like you went to Northwestern
12:56because your friend Steve thought I went there and he got me an audition now he's asking me to do all
13:02this alumni stuff I can't say no but you're lying Alex isn't doing whatever it takes to achieve your
13:10dreams what Northwestern is all about no then what is it about I have to give a speech at the next alumni
13:17dinner hey hey what are you doing oh I got a big audition later so I'm just going over my lines can I
13:31help I have acting experience I was one of the honeycomb kids okay you have the first line
13:47did you have any lines in those honeycomb commercials no I did not like listen I'm
13:56leaving for my audition in a few minutes will you run through the lines with me sure yeah what's the
14:02scene about uh well I'm being overprotective of my daughter because her mother died in an avalanche
14:07that I may or may not have caused yeah there's a great speech about it later where I curse the
14:12elements damn you mountain bring her back so I'm the daughter all right do I have to read it with like
14:21a high girly voice no may I no okay all right so I can do it now I want another shot that's okay
14:33Michael's already doing it can I be his understudy sure great hi daddy how are you doing is something
14:44the matter why won't you let me go to Haley sleepover party because there's a blizzard coming you could
14:49get snowed in you don't have to worry about me so much look at me I'm a big girl now I can see that
14:56I bet your friends think it's pretty lame that your old man wants to hold on you so tight oh if I
15:06had functional tear ducts I'd be crying right now really what was I good actually I got a very strong
15:13dad vibe from you thanks Michael I got a strong little girl vibe from you all right thanks you
15:20guys I'm gonna go get this part I still gotta go pick up your mom she's coming with me for moral
15:25support oh yeah all right wish me luck hi my name is Thomas Wheeler I'm here for my Northwestern
15:33alumni interview the producer I met at Alex has asked me to interview this kid as a personal
15:41favor I completely forgot how are we gonna get out of this hey sorry about that come on in oh thank
15:56you sir I brought a copy of my high school transcript as well as a letter of recommendation from yeah I'm
16:01kind of in a time crutch here but you seem like a fine young man I'm giving you my full recommendation
16:06what about all my questions what about the English department is there a strong pre-law program our
16:13college isn't all about academics Thomas so I want you to hang out here and have a good time that's kind
16:20of our motto at Northwestern oh I thought it was cake come question beta no no we changed it
16:25okay you go over your lines I will take care of the competition
16:39oh you ring for the role of dad yeah you like Jaeger hey Katie hey Joey it's good to see you again
16:54yeah I was thinking about you there's a Northwestern Purdue game on this side
16:57hmm you want to come over you read my mind you like football no neither do I
17:05okay I'll uh I'll talk to you after my audition
17:09okay thanks for your patience everyone we're gonna start reading now oh ma'am I'm sorry but
17:19we're not reading for the part of angry prostitute till tomorrow oh I'm not an actress but thank you
17:26okay uh Joey we're ready for you now and I'd like to introduce you to Katie Harper you're
17:34gonna be reading with her oh I thought the scene was with me my daughter that's right we cast her in
17:40the part we're gonna see if you two have chemistry I think we might you can do this she's your daughter
17:56and you're going to jail whenever you're ready hi daddy how you doing how are you doing is
18:11everything all right why don't you let me go to Haley's sleepover party because there's a blizzard
18:16coming you could get snowed in you don't have to worry about me so much anymore I mean look at me
18:23I'm a big girl now I can see that I I bet your friends think it's pretty lame that your old man wants
18:34to hold on to you so tight yeah I like it when you do that you're my special little girl
18:49I love you daddy and I love you too now come give daddy a kiss okay thank you please never have a
19:03daughter you gotta go terrible why does my daughter have to be so hot I told you I couldn't play a dad
19:15come on no no no you go back in there and try it again I can't I am too turned on by that girl
19:21Joey you are an actor act but I can't stop thinking about sex you want to stop thinking about sex
19:27what the hell are you doing that's disgusting you're my sister and that is your daughter that
19:37is even worse now you go back in there and you ask if you can try again whoa okay yeah you're right
19:42thanks hey hey how'd it go no Joey sucked the first time but then I uh help your mother help me in a
19:53totally normal way so I feel like it went pretty well right wait a minute what's that look on your
20:01face you know something what's the best news I could give you uh they fixed the vending machine
20:07oh we got a ping-pong table oh cool and the gang got back together okay I'm gonna have to try this a
20:18different way uh you are Landon powder's dad who you got the part I got the I got the part I did it
20:29hey I did it congratulations congratulations oh Joey I'm so proud of you okay but that's the last one
20:38hey Joey hey Steve how'd that audition go oh great hey thanks so much for setting that up I got the part
20:52all right all right go Wildcats yeah but not Purdue we hate them yeah wait a minute I'm here with your
20:59buddy Lance here you gotta see who this is huh hey it's me Lance Beckman Joey I was in your wedding no you
21:12weren't okay look Steve I have something I have to tell you this man is not Lance Beckman
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