A Hostile Witness Drops a Bombshell on FOX’s Going Dutch

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Colonel Quinn takes the stand in Jan’s trial and, under oath, reveals a shocking truth—admitting he’s proud of Maggie—in this standout moment from Season 1. Going Dutch returns for Season 2 on January 15, 2026, with episodes streaming next day on Hulu.

Transcript

00:00Your Honor, permission to treat the witness as hostile.

00:08He hasn't said anything yet.

00:10She's right. I'm going to be hostile.

00:12Can you state your name, rank, and favorite reality show for the court?

00:18Might I remind you, you are under oath.

00:19Colonel Patrick Quinn, 90-day fiancé.

00:22I love when the uggo wants the green card, because then they've got to get creative.

00:25Sir, am I correct in saying you've never taken a day off?

00:27I believe in protecting America's freedom 24-7, 365.

00:32Major Shaw isn't a fan of vacation days, either.

00:35Strange. He would take a day off during such an important trial.

00:38I can only imagine he'll hate it as much as I would, because he's a red-blooded American male.

00:43Best day of my life!

00:45This is the best day of my life!

00:47Sir, is it fair to say that you hate Jan?

00:51No. I wouldn't lend him a hand if he was drowning in a bathtub of lube at one of his own deviant orgies.

00:57I don't hate Jan.

00:59But you think it's ridiculous that he puts his family before work, do you not?

01:02I think he's getting cucked six ways to Sunday, yes.

01:05Oof! Well, that's just a vaunt piece of my sexual puzzle.

01:09But it's a corner piece.

01:10Sir, would you prefer he worked non-stop and became a terrible father, like, say, you?

01:17Why are they murmuring? That's not murmurable.

01:22You don't have to answer that question.

01:23No, no. I'll answer, Your Honor.

01:26If I was such a terrible father, why did you turn out the way you did?

01:29High school valedictorian, West Point graduate, hell of a fake lawyer.

01:32I think having a father with such a strong work ethic allowed you to achieve the things you have.

01:37You want credit for my success.

01:39I think I'm entitled.

01:40You must be proud of me.

01:41I did the job.

01:43Are you proud of me?

01:44I did the job.

01:45Answer the question.

01:46I'm very proud of you.

01:50That felt good.

01:52Almost as good as I imagined it.

01:54Your Honor, she tricked me.

01:55Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:57What does this have to do with the bike accident?

01:59Nothing. I was just stalling until I got these.

02:03This is the basis budget the year before you took command.

02:06The amount allotted toward base bike share repair is 20,000 euro.

02:10This is the budget after you took command.

02:13Do you care to share with the court how much money you allotted toward bicycle repair?

02:17Zero euros.

02:19Earlier, my client testified.

02:21I tried to stop in time, but I couldn't.

02:24Therefore, Colonel, yawns brakes were faulty due to your very American budget cuts on this Dutch base.

02:31We all saw the video with our own eyes.

02:33You can throw all the numbers you want at it, but we still know what we saw.

02:37You're right. That's why I'm going to need you to ride this.

02:40Your Honor, I would like to enter Jan's bicycle into evidence.

02:46I will definitely allow it, yes.

02:50We just need you to reach Jan's alleged speed at the time of the crash.

02:55Pump the brakes and stop.

02:57Not a problem.

02:59Seems to work pretty good.

03:00Jan's brakes failed, and that's why the accident happened.

03:11The colonel's gross negligence towards bike repair was the cause.

03:14I rest my case.

03:16I have reached the verdict.

03:17Jan is not guilty of this third strike, and his employment continues indefinitely.

03:23Oh, wow.

03:31Nice job.

03:32Oh, so you're proud of me.

03:35Listen, I just gave you one that's going to tide you over to my deathbed.

03:39I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:40I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:42I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:44I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:46I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:48I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:50I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:52I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:54I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:56I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

03:58I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

04:00I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

04:02I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

04:04I'm going to take you over to my deathbed.

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