00:00So, Colonel, what brings you here?
00:02You know why we're here. He's just plain dumb.
00:04We are here to pick up our turkeys, sir.
00:05He knows that.
00:06We're also serving turkey for the semi-quincentennial.
00:10Nothing says America like holiday turkeys.
00:12I couldn't agree more, sir.
00:13I heard.
00:15We had ordered our turkeys from your PX for delivery,
00:18but then someone explained that there was an issue with the ordering system.
00:21Yeah, the computers all over the base are down.
00:23That's so horrible, sir.
00:25You know what I think happened?
00:26I think you canceled the orders on purpose
00:28because you are still so upset
00:30that I humiliated you so beautifully on the laser battlefield.
00:35I will say all of this turkey talk has given me a genius idea.
00:39What if I roasted 250 turkeys for America's 250th?
00:44And in order to do that,
00:45I would have to requisition all the remaining turkeys in the PX.
00:50Well, respectfully, General, those are our turkeys.
00:54And you couldn't possibly need that many, right?
00:57You'd end up throwing half of them out.
00:59What's more American than gluttony and waste?
01:01You know what, sir?
01:02You can take all 250 turkeys and put them in a rocket ship
01:06and fire them into space.
01:09I don't care.
01:10I care about the turkeys.
01:12They make it feel like home.
01:13You're missing the point.
01:14He thought he had me, and now he doesn't have me.
01:16And don't buy into the home BS.
01:17That's what he wants.
01:18He's playing a PSYOP mind game here, okay?
01:20If you buy into the home BS, he wins.
01:22Home is not BS, okay?
01:23And this was not a trap.
01:25It became a trap because of your ego, and that's...
01:27I'm so sorry, sir.
01:28Please, Captain, continue.
01:30I would love to hear exactly what you think about Colonel Quinn as a parent.
01:35You don't have to do that.
01:36That's an order.
01:37Mm-hmm.
01:38Well, you can't comprehend the feeling of home
01:44because it is something you have run away from your entire adult life.
01:47And now that we are spending time together,
01:49you want a lot of credit for showing up as a dad, right?
01:52But when you do, you are terrible at it.
01:55Wow.
01:57That went better than I could have possibly imagined.
02:01Popcorn?
02:02Okay.
02:02Okay.
02:02Okay.
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