- 2 hours ago
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🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00:01There it is. The Inn of the Giggling Donkey.
00:00:07Paladin, are you sure the Bard is hiding out in there?
00:00:09That's what Twitter says.
00:00:11Carrier Raven, Butters!
00:00:13Sorry, that's what the Carrier Raven says.
00:00:15Craig and Tolkien, guard the back door.
00:00:17Butters, Kenny, Sir Douchebag, let's go inside.
00:00:24Stay close, Sir Douchebag. The Inn of the Giggling Donkey harbors the scum of all Zaron.
00:00:28A glass of Meadlewine, please.
00:00:30No Meadlewine today, only Fairy Ale.
00:00:32What kinds of Fairy Ale, then?
00:00:37So, has, um, anyone seen the Bard lately?
00:00:48A cup of Fairy Ale isn't much if not accompanied by some Bardic poems and songs.
00:00:54Sure, he's here, alright. He's got a room down in the cellar.
00:00:57Ah, and I shall pay handsomely for his services.
00:01:02Is there a Douchebag?
00:01:05Butters, Douchebag, go down and flush him out.
00:01:06Princess Kenny and I will be waiting here to murder him.
00:01:08Remember, the Bard can use songs to enchant. Don't let him get to you.
00:01:11Let him get to you.
00:01:13You think the bar's really down here?
00:01:43I think I hear him.
00:01:55Hello?
00:01:56Oh Jesus, it's the bar!
00:02:09Prepare for battle, weaklings.
00:02:12Elves, fall in!
00:02:15Douchebag!
00:02:16It's a trap!
00:02:17You should have never come here, humans.
00:02:19I am a level 10 bot, and with my loot, I shall power up my elven guards with magical songs of enchant...
00:02:24With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:26With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:27With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:28With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:35With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:37With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:39Mag...
00:02:40Magical songs of enchant...
00:02:41With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:42With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:43With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:44With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:45With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:46With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:47With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:48With magical songs of enchant...
00:02:49There once was a maiden from Stoneberry Hollow, she didn't talk much, but boy did she swallow.
00:03:19Lock and load.
00:03:33Wow, what a butt kicking.
00:03:35I think I just found a new bottom bitch.
00:03:40Get down there and finish them off. I will protect the stick of truth.
00:03:49Nowhere to run, kid.
00:04:01Beg for mercy!
00:04:09Prepare to die, you kid.
00:04:12Hey, Sir Noosebag, up here.
00:04:19What are you looking at, pussy?
00:04:24It's a good day to die!
00:04:29Uh, for you, that is.
00:04:33Wait, whose turn is it?
00:04:37Wait, whose turn is it?
00:04:45Come on!
00:04:46Come on!
00:04:48Come on!
00:04:52Ah!
00:04:53Hi, y'all!
00:04:54I was feeling the best.
00:04:55Oh, I have to die!
00:04:56I have to die!
00:04:57Even if I catch the next round of werewolf, I have to die!
00:05:00It's a good day and he will die!
00:05:01We are killing you!
00:05:02Don't lie!
00:05:03But then he's playing with me.
00:05:05You have to die!
00:05:07You got to die!
00:05:08You got to die!
00:05:09You got to die, huh?
00:05:10All your way!
00:05:11You're not the same.
00:05:13I was the only one that's all about you!
00:05:14I got to die, huh?
00:05:16We're going to die!
00:05:17I got to die!
00:05:18We're going to die!
00:05:19Hey, Mercy!
00:05:32Take that!
00:05:39Kiss my ass!
00:05:45You want some of this?
00:05:49I don't think so.
00:05:54By the Hammer of Betis!
00:05:58That was the most perfect throw I've ever seen!
00:06:05By the Hammer of Betis!
00:06:10That was the most perfect throw I've ever seen!
00:06:15By the Hammer of Betis!
00:06:20First Strike Trippin' Soon!
00:06:21First Strike Trippin' Soon!
00:06:25First Strike Trippin' Soon!
00:06:30First Strike Trippin' Soon!
00:06:34First Strike Trippin' Soon!
00:06:37Third Strike Trippin'?
00:06:39First Strike Trippin' Soon!
00:06:44Third Strike Trippin' Soon!
00:06:46First Strike Trippin' Soon!
00:06:50Third of the Biscuit!
00:06:53I have a biscuit!
00:07:14Hey, see this bag. I'm here.
00:07:23I'll handle this.
00:07:30Ow.
00:07:35Ow, my ankle. I think it might be broken.
00:07:38Maybe I should take a look at it.
00:07:41Your word is the command, my lord.
00:07:53Yes, sir.
00:07:58Yeah, there you go, buddy.
00:08:00Thank you, double paladin. My wound is healed.
00:08:02Can you get us upstairs? I think they locked us out.
00:08:05Nothing a level 12 thief can't take care of. You guys go ahead.
00:08:09Come on, let's get out of here.
00:08:11For the attack!
00:08:25Someone help!
00:08:27That came from the kitchen.
00:08:30Come on, the wizard's in the kitchen. We gotta help him.
00:08:34I hate you!
00:08:41You're not getting popped up, fucker!
00:08:45Okay.
00:08:48You think that's fucking funny?
00:08:50Didn't hurt.
00:08:58The stick is ours!
00:09:07Let me hit him!
00:09:11Let's go, asshole!
00:09:16Let's go, asshole!
00:09:32Ow!
00:09:33Let's go!
00:09:36I'm going to!
00:09:38No!
00:09:46I'm going to get out!
00:09:47Go, asshole.
00:09:48Oh, it's on.
00:10:18I think I just found the new bottom bitch.
00:10:30Your world is the command, my lord.
00:10:32Shall I heal the king, my lord?
00:10:33Or maybe let him suffer just a little bit more?
00:10:44I'm not dead.
00:10:45Your world is the command, my lord.
00:10:47Yes, sir.
00:10:57Hey, buddy.
00:11:00His powers were too strong.
00:11:03The bard, he's up in one of the rooms.
00:11:07They took Princess Keeney.
00:11:09They took her upstairs.
00:11:10I'm sure they're gonna rape her.
00:11:11Don't let them rape Princess Keeney.
00:11:14I'm not dead.
00:11:15You can't loot me yet.
00:11:20The wizard king is done for.
00:11:24Take out the new kid while I go upstairs and make contact with the king of elves.
00:11:30You're not getting past me.
00:11:31We should give this in a really mean online review after we're done killing it.
00:11:36Use your magic on the front door, deucebag.
00:11:37You're going down.
00:11:38Hey, open the door.
00:11:39Hey, open the door.
00:11:40Somebody deadbolt on the door, you guys.
00:11:41Use your magic on the front door, deucebag.
00:11:42Guys!
00:11:43You guys!
00:11:44Hey!
00:11:45Hey!
00:11:46Meow.
00:11:47You guys.
00:11:48Peek!
00:11:49Guys.
00:11:50Use your magic on the front door, Deucebag!
00:11:52You're going down.
00:11:54Hey, open the door!
00:12:01Somebody get open to the door, you guys!
00:12:03Use your magic on the front door, Deucebag!
00:12:08You guys!
00:12:09Hey!
00:12:11You guys!
00:12:11Use your magic on the front door, Deuce!
00:12:14Wind Waker.
00:12:16You guys!
00:12:17Hey!
00:12:20For the KKK!
00:12:24You are fucking dead.
00:12:26Come on, quick!
00:12:30Keep hitting it, I think it's starting to give.
00:12:35Keep hitting it, I think it's starting to give.
00:12:36We're going to die in this place!
00:12:38Kill it!
00:12:47Kill it!
00:12:48Kill it!
00:12:49We can work this out!
00:12:50You'll pay for that!
00:13:08Sorry about this.
00:13:19Keep trying!
00:13:20I'm gonna mess you up, dude!
00:13:46That sucks!
00:13:48That sucks!
00:14:02Yeah, that's it, little buddy!
00:14:04That sucks!
00:14:06That sucks!
00:14:08That sucks!
00:14:10That sucks!
00:14:12That sucks!
00:14:14That sucks!
00:14:16That sucks!
00:14:18That sucks!
00:14:20That sucks!
00:14:22That sucks!
00:14:24That sucks!
00:14:26That sucks!
00:14:38Hey!
00:14:40That sucks!
00:14:42That sucks!
00:14:44That sucks!
00:14:46Man, I could be walking TV right now.
00:15:06You better have a bit of footage!
00:15:08Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:11Let's fight tripping, son!
00:15:41Whoa!
00:16:05I got your back, yo.
00:16:11Wait, who's turn is it?
00:16:17I'm done!
00:16:19For the hammer of Venice!
00:16:46By the hammer of fetish!
00:16:50I just...
00:16:51We'll see if it works!
00:16:54Kiss my ass!
00:16:59Ow!
00:17:15Oh boy, we run!
00:17:31Where's the king?
00:17:32He's over there. He's hurt bad.
00:17:34Good thing my medicine skills are plus four.
00:17:36We'll revive the wizard. You guys get upstairs.
00:17:45Don't worry, douchebag. The princess is just being raped.
00:18:10Whooo!
00:18:11Fuggles! Fuggles!
00:18:13We gotta get to the princess!
00:18:19Wait a minute, listen!
00:18:20They're raping the princess right now!
00:18:32He's keeping a prisoner!
00:18:33They're keeping a prisoner!
00:18:42What do you think he didn't care about that camp?
00:18:43We'll just go get to the next camp!
00:18:44Hey!
00:18:45Hey!
00:18:46I'll keep going!
00:18:49Well, we'll be right back in here!
00:18:50I'll just see what happened!
00:18:55Oh, shit!
00:18:57Shhh!
00:18:58I don't know.
00:19:28Princess Kitty, how badly do they rape you?
00:19:37I can't get through.
00:19:38The door appears to be enchanted, so I can't turn the knob.
00:19:45You can't hold the doorknob, Bard. That's cheating.
00:19:47Yeah, I can.
00:19:48I have the stick of truth, which means I control the universe,
00:19:50and I say holding the doorknob is okay.
00:19:52Can he do that?
00:19:54He has the stick of truth. He can do what he wants.
00:19:56Damn it!
00:19:58There's got to be another way into this room.
00:20:02Hey, let us up!
00:20:03You're not getting up here. The ladder's up here with me,
00:20:05and I'm sure as shit not coming down there.
00:20:22Hell, looky what we got here. I'm coming for you, baby.
00:20:25Oh, yeah!
00:20:26Those are some big old biddies.
00:20:27Man, oh, man.
00:20:29Good job, Princess Gone Wild.
00:20:33Double D buddy powers.
00:20:33Yeah, let's see.
00:20:34Yeah, let's see.
00:20:41Whoa!
00:20:42Yeah, let's see.
00:20:43Bro, go, go, go.
00:20:44Oooh.
00:20:46Boo!
00:20:46Oh!
00:20:47You'll pay for that.
00:21:17Let's go, asshole.
00:21:47Let's go, asshole.
00:22:17Come on, new kid.
00:22:20Let's show them what we can do.
00:22:22Let's go, asshole.
00:22:35Let's go, asshole.
00:22:45Let's go, asshole.
00:22:55Let's go, asshole.
00:22:57Let's go, asshole.
00:23:01Let's go, asshole.
00:23:31Let's go, asshole.
00:23:33Let's go, asshole.
00:23:37Let's go, asshole.
00:23:45Let's go, asshole.
00:23:47Take me the stick of truth.
00:23:48Take it from me if you can, Wizard King.
00:23:50Step forward now and fulfill your...
00:23:51Step forward now and fulfill your...
00:23:59Your daisy. Your daisy. Your daisy. Your daisy. Step forward now and fulfill your daisy. Your daisy. Your daisy. Your daisy. Step forward now and fulfill your daisy. Step forward now and fulfill your destiny.
00:24:17You are no match for a grand wizard. The stick belongs with us, and I shall use every bardic power in my class to keep it from you.
00:24:23Fine. You want to throw down, brah? Kick his ass, douchebag.
00:24:25Who is douchebag? That's sure douchebag to you, and he's about to teach you some manners, bard.
00:24:44Set him up and knock him down.
00:24:55Set him up and shoot his ass.
00:25:03Set him up and shoot his ass.
00:25:06Set him up and shoot his ass, he has an opportunity for a long time.
00:25:13Set him up and shoot his ass.
00:25:17Check him up and pick it up and shoot his ass.
00:25:21Oh, hamburgers!
00:25:44Sleep now, the whippoorwills are dancing.
00:25:48Gently now, put your mind to rest.
00:25:51Wow, what a terrific target.
00:26:05This will be my greatest performance.
00:26:08Muses, guide my arrows to truth.
00:26:20Wow, what a terrific target.
00:26:26Wow, what a terrific target.
00:26:28Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:26:32What a fun, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:26:34Like, like, little child we gonna go.
00:26:36So they go, let's throw it away from us.
00:26:45Oh, well, they're oldu.
00:26:48What about ups of a guy?
00:26:50Oh, there we go.
00:26:54Look around your little hair.
00:26:59Rrrrr!
00:27:01Oh, there it's a little interesting.
00:27:06Oh, there it is!
00:27:09Oh, there you are!
00:27:13Oh
00:27:43Oh
00:28:01Oh
00:28:13Oh
00:28:43Oh
00:28:51I hope you fellas don't get angry but I have to smite you
00:29:13You swine shagger
00:29:16Close your eyes no more thinking about thinking about your troubles
00:29:21sleep now with
00:29:24For you are blessed
00:29:27Set him up and knock him down
00:29:29Oh
00:29:39Is that all you got?
00:29:41This will be my greatest performance
00:29:45Wow what a really fun
00:29:59Set him up and knock him down
00:30:01He's out of breath
00:30:03Get him
00:30:05There you go
00:30:09By the hammer of that is
00:30:13A pops on your nets
00:30:15I just
00:30:17We'll see if it works
00:30:19We'll see if it works
00:30:21By the hammer of that is
00:30:23A pops on your nets
00:30:25I just
00:30:27I just
00:30:29We'll see if it works
00:30:44Oh I wanted to show mercy
00:30:50The stick is ours
00:30:51Yay
00:30:57Ready to leave sir deucebag
00:31:00Ready to leave sir deucebag
00:31:02Okay but hurry up
00:31:03This inn is no longer safe for our kind
00:31:14Find his running shoes
00:31:15Just kidding
00:31:27Ready to leave sir deuce dash
00:31:31Ready to leave sir deuce-!"
00:31:36Ready to leave sir deuce-bag
00:31:37The Stick of Truth is back where it belongs.
00:31:58Great job, men.
00:31:59Douchebag, for your heroic deeds and valiant self-sacrifice at the Great Battle of the Giggling Donkey,
00:32:03I hereby make you an official member of the Kingdom of Koopa Keep.
00:32:08Welcome to the KKK.
00:32:11It's getting late. The Grand Wizard needs to go night-night.
00:32:14Okay, Mom, thanks for pointing out bedtime for everyone.
00:32:17It's a school night, hon. You and your little druid friends need to...
00:32:20We're not druids, Mom! We're fucking warriors and wizards!
00:32:23Oh, that's it. You're going to bed. The rest of you better get home, too.
00:32:33You're going to bed. You're going to bed.
00:33:03Well, there he is!
00:33:22You make any new friends, sweetheart?
00:33:24Nothing to say, huh? What a surprise.
00:33:26You're going to bed.
00:38:40Oh, my God.
00:39:10Oh, my God.
00:39:40Oh, my God.
00:39:50Ah, hello. Is this recording?
00:39:52If you are hearing this, I've been taken hostage on some kind of alien ship.
00:39:56The aliens did unspeakable things to my rectal cavity.
00:40:00But I've broken free.
00:40:01I'm so scared and alone.
00:40:03I must find a way off this ship.
00:40:04Oh, God. They're coming.
00:40:06Why am I standing here making an audio lock?
00:40:08I don't have time for this.
00:40:09Leave me alone.
00:40:35Move, move.
00:40:45Move.
00:40:49Move.
00:40:54Move.
00:40:56Move.
00:40:58Move.
00:41:00Move.
00:41:02Move.
00:41:04Move.
00:41:06Move.
00:41:08Move.
00:41:10Move.
00:41:12Move.
00:41:14Ooh!
00:41:30Ooh!
00:41:44Ooh!
00:41:49Ooh!
00:42:10Ooh!
00:42:12Ooh!
00:42:14Oh
00:42:37Oh
00:42:44Oh, hey, there you are.
00:43:04Oh, yeah, yep, that's the Lambda containment block.
00:43:08Take that elevator next to you.
00:43:09The probe in your asshole should interface with it.
00:43:14Great, you're in.
00:43:25You're looking for a security console.
00:43:28Should be one above you in probe maintenance
00:43:29and another below you in the atmospheric processor.
00:43:32Yeah, I know this stuff.
00:43:33Can't remember which one you want, though.
00:43:35Been a while since I did this.
00:43:44I don't know.
00:43:45I don't know.
00:43:53Oh, God.
00:43:57I don't know.
00:43:59Oh, God.
00:44:02Oh, God.
00:44:06Oh, God.
00:44:07Let's go.
00:44:37Day 2. So hungry. I've searched for food but the only thing I've found are other people's annoying useless audio logs. Why did they bother when they clearly were in terrible danger? Each audio log I find is more irrelevant and boring than the last. I must keep looking for a way to survive.
00:45:07Day 2. So hungry. I've searched for food but I'm not even though I'm afraid to find the most expensive.
00:45:09Day 2. So hungry. I'm just hot enough.
00:45:20Day 3. So hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry.
00:45:23Day 3. So hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry.
00:45:29MOVE MOVE
00:45:39MOVE
00:45:56MOVE
00:45:58MOVE
00:46:00MOVE
00:46:01MOVE
00:46:02MOVE
00:46:03MOVE
00:46:04MOVE
00:46:05MOVE
00:46:06MOVE
00:46:07MOVE
00:46:08MOVE
00:46:09MOVE
00:46:10MOVE
00:46:11MOVE
00:46:12MOVE
00:46:13MOVE
00:46:14MOVE
00:46:15MOVE
00:46:16MOVE
00:46:17MOVE
00:46:18MOVE
00:46:19MOVE
00:46:20MOVE
00:46:21MOVE
00:46:22MOVE
00:46:23MOVE
00:46:24MOVE
00:46:25MOVE
00:46:26MOVE
00:46:27Great, you're there! See if you can-
00:46:35Keep going, I think you're onto something!
00:46:42I knew I could trust you, keep it up!
00:46:47Uh, I'm still stuck, better try the other console!
00:46:58Score! Aliens hate electricity!
00:47:09Day 4. I've looked everywhere, but I can't find anything to eat!
00:47:13Or a clue to get me off the ship! Just more audio logs! They're everywhere!
00:47:17For some reason, I listen to every minute of every one of them, thinking there'd be some useful information, but...
00:47:22It's like they're just filler! Useless filler!
00:47:25The filler that's driving me to madness!
00:47:45Okay, let's try the other console! God, I hope this works!
00:47:55...
00:48:02...
00:48:06...
00:48:08...
00:48:09...
00:48:13...
00:48:14Oh
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