- 13 hours ago
Category
🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00SNOOK ABORTION SEQUENCE INITIATED
00:05BEGIN ELECTROLYTIC INFUSION
00:09AH!
00:13COLD, SO COLD
00:16DANGER, ABORTION ACCESS LIT STRESS LEVEL
00:19ABORTION ACCESS LIT DILATED
00:21INITIATE CONTROL CHIP REMOVAL
00:30LONG CHIP, LONG CHIP, OW
00:34NOT THAT, I NEEDED THAT
00:39LONG CHIP, SELF DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE ABORTED
01:00WHAT IS IT, MR. SLAD? WHAT ARE YOU FEELING?
01:03JESUS! JESUS CHRIST!
01:09GREAT JOB, NEW KID!
01:11BUT YOUR JOURNEY IS NOT YET COMPLETE!
01:13RAPS! WHAT SHOULD WE EVER NEED YOUR SERVICES AGAIN? WE WILL CALL!
01:20GREAT JOB! YOU DISARMED THE SNOOK! SOUTH PARK IS SAVED!
01:23YES! NOW LET'S FINISH THIS, NEW KID!
01:25LET'S BE CLAD ONES AND FOR ALL AND TAKE BACK THE STICKER TRUTH!
01:30TAKE BACK THE STICKER TRUTH!
01:32TAKE BACK THE STICKER TRUTH!
01:34DO IT DO IT
01:43IF YOU EVER WANT TO GO BACK IN, CHEMFY OUT!
01:46YON, WE ARE NOT GOING TOи, LET'S GO GET ROBERT!
01:47Fools! You thought you could conquer the Fortress of Darkness!
02:10Clyde! Back away from that stuff!
02:12Oh, but I have yet to complete my army!
02:14You have come to witness the power of darkness!
02:17Stop! Clyde! You have no idea what that stuff is!
02:20Yeah-huh, it's green sauce from Taco Bell. I took it from their construction site.
02:23Dude, that's not Taco Bell sauce. Then why'd I find it at the Taco Bell?
02:26It leaked out of a UFO, Clyde! It's toxic goo from another galaxy!
02:30Think about it! Since when does Taco Bell have a green sauce, dude?
02:34Actually, since about a year ago.
02:36What?
02:36Taco Bell has green sauce now.
02:38No way! They've had it longer than a year. I've always gotten spicy green burritos.
02:41Yeah, no, I'm saying in the packets. They just started putting green sauce in packets.
02:45The fuck? How the fuck did I miss this?
02:47Ha-ha! I don't seem so foolish now, do I?
02:50That doesn't mean you have Taco Bell green sauce dip, fuck!
02:52Yeah, Clyde, why do you think that shit's glowing?
02:54Maybe because of the three varieties of chili peppers.
02:58Just give us a stick, asshole.
03:00Or what? You'll beat me up?
03:02Ha-ha! I've got another surprise for you!
03:05I'm going to make love to you, woman!
03:19Ha-ha!
03:22Get him, Commander D-Fag!
03:23Let's all make sweet love!
03:36Help!
03:36Help!
04:06Don't forget to tip your serving wage!
04:24Come on, new kid!
04:26Let's show them what we can do!
04:28I'll rubber your glue!
04:36By the hammer of betters!
04:57That was the most perfect throw I've ever seen!
05:04Stolzeregebenheit!
05:06Stolzeregebenheit!
05:07Stolzeregebenheit!
05:08Stolzeregebenheit!
05:15I got your bag, yo!
05:27Ow!
05:34I got your bag!
05:36I got your bag!
05:37I got your bag!
05:38I got your bag!
05:39I got your bag!
05:41Yeah, I got your bag!
05:42No!
05:43I got my bag!
05:44What?
05:45Get up!
05:45Beautiful!
05:47I'm not gonna smoke some of my bag!
05:54Feel my ratchet steering!
05:56To steering!
05:59Oh no!
06:01God.
06:17Children, what have I done?
06:19You can't eat it, kid.
06:20I can't even hide!
06:26By the hammer of it is!
06:45Oh, I'm sorry.
06:56Hey, I raised you from the dead, you have to obey.
07:10Obey me!
07:15Ha ha ha ha!
07:28Take that!
07:41No, no!
08:01No, no!
08:10Dammit!
08:17Children, what have I done?
08:25You tried to eat a ship!
08:32Yeah, that's it, little buddy.
08:39Children, everybody, I'm back!
08:47Enough of this!
08:54Burn them!
08:55Burn them all!
08:56Your eons of torment are at an end, ruler of darkness!
09:11Okay, you know what?
09:12I'm not playing anymore.
09:13You have broken the rules of the stick, and for that I banish thee!
09:16I banish thee!
09:18I banish thee!
09:19I banish thee!
09:20I banish thee!
09:21I banish thee!
09:25I banish thee!
09:26I banish thee!
09:28I banish thee!
09:29I banish thee!
09:30Dude, that was awesome. You did it. Your noble quest is at an end.
09:35And for all your deeds, and all your time put into this, I hereby promote you to King Douchebag. Congratulations!
09:47Quickly! Now let's get the stick back to safety, before anyone can do...
09:52Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
09:56We've got him! We've got the Dragonborn!
09:59Dragonborn? What the... who? What?
10:01So, it really is the Dragonborn. Just can't stop being a thorn in our side, huh?
10:07He has the stick of truth.
10:08How does this guy know you, King Douchebag?
10:10King Douchebag? Is that what you told him your name was?
10:14Why didn't you tell them your real name, Dovahkiin?
10:20You don't remember, do you?
10:23How we tried to find you?
10:25Look, that stick belongs with the Fighters of Zoran. Give it back!
10:27Fighters of Zoran?
10:30Boys, what's going on here is much more complex than that.
10:34This isn't the first time a UFO has crashed to Earth.
10:37You see, in 1947, a UFO crashed in Roswell, New Mexico.
10:43Oh, God.
10:44Our brothers, spare us.
10:45Hang on a sec.
10:46A UFO crashed in Roswell, and a new government agency was created to investigate the paranormal.
10:51Our agency.
10:52Can we skip this? Like, hit the skip button or something?
10:55Oh, you don't want to skip this.
10:56Yes, we do.
10:57Whenever aliens are spotted, vampires run amok, our agency is there, and we have never lost a fight.
11:03That is, until four years ago when we investigated a child.
11:08Yon, yon, yon.
11:09A child who had an unnatural power inside him.
11:12I had orders from the president to secure the child so that we could harness his powers before our enemies could.
11:18But he slipped through our hands.
11:20The government wants the new kid for his farts? That's dumb.
11:24His farts?
11:24No.
11:25His amazing ability to make friends so quickly on any social network.
11:30Before he was five years old, he had 3.2 billion friends on Facebook alone.
11:35Do you have any idea the power that kind of gift yields in today's world?
11:40It's time to come with us, Dovahkiin.
11:42Time to stop resisting and use your gift for your country.
11:45Is he really still talking?
11:47Are we so different, you and I, Dovahkiin?
11:50You have to do what the government tells you to do, just like me.
11:54We're all just pawns in their game.
11:56I'll admit, you are fascinating.
11:59You have more power than any child I've ever come across, and yet, all you seem to really care about is this.
12:05It must be very important.
12:07What does it do?
12:08Whoever controls the state controls the universe, dumbass.
12:12Yeah, stupid.
12:13Controls the...
12:14But then...
12:15I wouldn't have to do what I was told anymore.
12:18I could...
12:20I control the universe!
12:25Get back!
12:26Back, I say, all of you!
12:28I can do anything!
12:29Anything I want!
12:31I no longer need you, new kid!
12:33I control the universe!
12:38Damn thing!
12:45How does it work?
12:47Show me how it works!
12:49Yeah, right!
12:52Dovahkiin, why should we be on the opposite sides?
12:56Join me, Dovahkiin.
12:57Rule by my side.
12:59Rule.
13:00And you can have this all to yourself forever.
13:03I can offer you all!
13:05Just get me safely out of here!
13:06You can rule with this once again!
13:08You underestimated the character of the fighters of Zoran.
13:16What binds us is more than that relic.
13:18And you failed to recognize the character of our alliance.
13:21Yes, and that friendship is more important to any of us than even the stick of truth.
13:28Duke, where are you going?
13:29Princess Kinney!
13:35At least one of you has some sense!
13:38You'd sell us all out?
13:39But why, Princess Kinney?
13:41Because Princess Kinney was born a half-orc, whose entire village was wiped out by humans and elves.
13:49Morgan Freeman?
13:49You see, when humans and elves lived together in the forest of Hollow Falls, an elven queen fell in love with the orc known as Dandar, the first one to possess the stick of truth.
14:00They loved in secret and had a child, a beautiful little girl, a girl who watched as everyone she loved was killed in cold blood.
14:09And that is why she waited, and plotted, all this time, to take the stick from you.
14:16For Princess Kinney is true heir to the stick of truth.
14:20Wow, that's pretty cute.
14:22Just one thing, Morgan Freeman.
14:24How come every time something convoluted needs explaining, you show up?
14:26Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.
14:33Princess Kinney, come back here!
14:56I don't think I like to do this.
15:25You fools!
15:34Princess Kinney controls the universe!
15:53urally cáw
15:54Oh
16:10That was the most perfect throw I've ever seen
16:24You think you're better than me?
16:36Buy the hammer of betters
16:40I just, we'll see if it works
16:54Oh
17:00Yeah, that's it little buddy
17:12That wasn't so bad
17:24Oh
17:26Oh
17:30Oh
17:34Oh
17:38Oh
17:48Feel that righteous fury
17:54Oh
18:06Son of a biscuit
18:22Oh
18:24Oh
18:33I did get yourself a new bottom bitch
18:37It's all over Princess Kenny
18:38Douchebag is too powerful for you
18:48What's she doing?
18:49No Kenny, don't drink that
18:54Oh
18:58Oh
18:59Nazi zombie Princess Kenny
19:00Fuck
19:13This is it King douchebag
19:14The final battle
19:15Your buddies stand with you
19:16I will just stand over here
19:18Use your rainbow attack Princess Kenny
19:20Use your rainbow attack Princess Kenny
19:21Keep trying
19:22Take it
19:23Oh
19:32Oh
19:36Oh
19:37Finish these weaklings, Princess Guinea!
20:07Buy the hammer and finish!
20:14I'm sorry!
20:18Hit them with the zombie vomit!
20:30Show them, Princess Guinea!
20:37Hey, Princess Guinea, is it too late for me to join you?
20:41I feel the righteous theory!
20:44Fight for a reason, honey!
20:47Death comes for you, Dragonborn!
20:51You'd better pray for me!
20:53I'm sorry!
20:54I'm sorry!
20:55I'm sorry!
20:56I'm sorry!
20:57I'm sorry!
20:58I'm sorry!
20:59I'm sorry!
21:00I'm sorry!
21:01I'm sorry!
21:02I'm sorry!
21:03I'm sorry!
21:04Death comes for you, Dragonborn!
21:06You'd better pray for a miracle!
21:08Oh, Hammerbird!
21:11Foolish Princess Guinea!
21:14Do you not know that death is a servant of chaos?
21:20Don't fuck this up, King Touchebag!
21:27Don't fuck this up, King Touchebag!
21:35Don't fuck this up, King Touchebag!
21:37Don't fuck this up, King Touchebag!
21:54I'm gonna just fight it!
21:56Closed Captioning by The Cable
22:03Cable
22:05Cable
22:05Cable
22:07Use your Rainbow Attack, Princess Guinea!
22:10Cable
22:11Cable
22:13Cable
22:14Cable
22:15Cable
22:16Cable
22:18Cable
22:19Cable
22:21Cable
22:21Cable
22:21Cable
22:22Cable
22:23Cable
22:24I'm just... seeing if it works!
22:29Hit them with the zombie vomit!
22:36Oh my god! You killed Kitty!
22:38Yeah, ba- oh, no wait, he's back!
22:45Use your rainbow attack, Princess Kitty!
22:49She looks more dead than she was before, I kill her again!
22:54Oh no, no, no, no!
22:57Oh no!
22:58Oh no, no, no, no, no!
23:02Oh no, no, no!
23:07Get out of here!
23:10I got your back yo!
23:15I got your back yo!
23:17I got your back yo!
23:28Oh no, no, no, no!
23:30Death comes for you, Dragonborn!
23:31You'd better pray for a miracle!
23:35Oh, hellbuckers!
23:36What happened to her?
23:41Ha ha ha! Foolish princess Jenny!
23:44Do you not know that death is a servant of chaos?
23:49OOF! A SON!
23:51How can this be?
23:55By the moon and the stars in the skies, I swear we will destroy you!
23:58Well that chaos energy is making me a little losey!
24:07Use your rainbow attack, princess Jenny!
24:12Get the fuck out of here!
24:13We're all defeated!
24:27I'm sorry to fight it!
24:29I'm sorry to fight it!
24:35Thank you!
24:36The
24:52Hit them with the zombie vomit!
24:55I'm sorry to fight it!
24:58If you kill Princess Kitty, I'll let you hold the secret truth for a couple of minutes.
25:24Okay, I can take the baby.
25:26Don't take the goddamn baby.
25:28Yes, drink your goo, Princess Kitty.
25:32You'll be invincible.
25:38Oh, no, you don't.
25:41Shit, I shanked it.
25:45Oh, are we taking a break now?
25:55Oh, no, you don't.
25:58Oh, no.
26:01I'm sorry to find it.
26:12Good work, Princess Kitty.
26:14Finish them off.
26:14Whoops!
26:16Whoops!
26:18Use your rainbow attack, Princess Skinny!
26:24Use your rainbow attack, Princess Skinny!
26:28I'm dying to find it!
26:34Who are you, fool?
26:44Whoop!
26:46Whoop!
26:48Whoop!
26:50Whoop!
26:52Whoop!
26:54Fight for a demon, honey!
26:56Hit them with the zombie vomit!
26:58What the hell are you doing?
27:00Fight for a demon!
27:04Fight for a demon!
27:10I think all the dying is making her tired! Keep killing her!
27:14Use your rainbow attack, Princess Skinny!
27:16You have to be better than that!
27:28Ha!
27:30Fight for a demon!
27:31Drink your goo, Princess Skinny!
27:33You'll be invincible!
27:38Oh no you don't!
27:39A lucky shot but no matter!
27:44Princess Skinny still has lots of tricks up her puppy sleeves!
27:49Hey, fellas!
27:52Ow! I hurt my leg!
27:53You better go on without me!
27:54You better go on without me!
27:55You better go on without me!
28:06Use your rainbow attack, Princess Skinny!
28:08Get him!
28:09Surely you get it!
28:18Kick her ass, dudebag! Do it!
28:28Fight for a demon, honey!
28:30Check this out!
28:36Check this out!
28:49You fools!
28:50Princess Skinny controls the universe!
28:52Set him up and...
29:04Knock him down!
29:07Eyes on the apple!
29:16Time to warm up the bell!
29:1710 years later...
29:181
29:191
29:201
29:212
29:221
29:231
29:241
29:261
29:282
29:303
29:322
29:332
29:342
29:353
29:362
29:373
29:393
29:404
29:414
29:425
29:435
29:445
29:455
29:46And now for my next drink.
30:05Give these women a taste of their own medicine, Princess Guinea!
30:17No! Where are you going with Princess Guinea's rat, Samuel?
30:25I am Stan Marshwalker, brother of all of the magic.
30:30I better catch my breath!
30:43She doesn't stay dead! We can't beat her!
30:46We're fucked! There's no way!
30:48There is one way! We're gonna have to break the gentleman's code!
30:51What? Carmen, you can't possibly need-
30:54What other choice do we have, Cal?
30:56King Douchebag, you remember long ago, I made you swear an oath to never fart on anyone's balls.
31:01I am now asking you to break that oath.
31:04He's right, it's our only chance!
31:05Fart on Princess Guinea's balls, King Douchebag! Do it!
31:07Now, King Douchebag, fart on Princess Guinea's balls!
31:09What about the gentleman's oath?
31:10Now, King Douchebag, fart on Princess Guinea's balls!
31:14What about the gentleman's oath?
31:15Now, King Douchebag, fart on Princess Guinea's balls!
31:17Now, King Douchebag, fart on Princess Guinea's balls!
31:18What about the gentleman's oath?
31:19The gentleman's oath!
31:29Don't stop following me!
31:31How is he doing now? Forget what you swore?
31:32No!
31:33Princess Guinea's balls are exposed! This can't be!
31:38Then, all of the shoulder!
31:49The princess must be brought to justice!
32:00Thanks for the vision, Harry!
32:10I see the door close!
32:13What?
32:15We're back to normal!
32:16We're... we're cured!
32:25You're all better now, Daddy.
32:26That's right, son. The dragonborn must have farted on a princess's balls.
32:46You guys sure about this?
33:03There's no other way.
33:05It drove our friend to madness and nearly killed us all.
33:07So what do you guys wanna play now? How about dinosaur hunters? Or pharaohs and mummies? Let's ask Douchebag! What do you wanna play next, dude?
33:19Screw you guys. I'm going home.
33:22Wow, what a dick.
33:23What a dick.
33:24What a dick.
33:25What a dick.
33:26What a dick.
33:27What a dick.
33:28What a dick.
33:30What a dick.
33:31I got a douchebag! What do you wanna play next, dude?
33:36Screw you guys. I'm going home.
33:39Wow, what a dick.
34:01You can introduce yourself and do it, dude.
34:06I'm happy to bless you, guys.
34:10I'm loving you.
34:11I'm loving you and your love.
34:14I'm happy to be with you.
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