- 7 hours ago
Sister Wives - Season 20 Episode 10 -
Extending an Olive Branch
Extending an Olive Branch
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😹
FunTranscript
00:00We're going to close on Coyote Pass soon,
00:02and it's for the whole thing.
00:06Ugh.
00:10They were afraid to say hello to us or something.
00:12I have no idea.
00:13Why did this get so weird?
00:16There's not trust with me and Robin.
00:19There's not.
00:20After this experience, I feel ashamed,
00:23almost apologetic that this was so awkward.
00:26I'm embarrassed by it.
00:27So I'm in New Orleans today.
00:30I think that's how you're supposed to say it.
00:32I grew up saying New Orleans, and I don't think that's right.
00:34You know, Cody turned 50,
00:36and all of a sudden he started making all this noise about
00:37he was carrying the whole family.
00:40I got three ex-wives who were going,
00:41Cody changed, Cody changed, Cody changed.
00:43All right, I guess we all went through menopause together,
00:46and I just didn't want to do the hard work anymore.
00:57So I am in New Orleans,
01:19and I have a fun trip I planned with my girlfriends,
01:22and we're just here having a girls' weekend.
01:24This is so great.
01:25How pretty.
01:26I'm just celebrating, like, being free.
01:28The property's closed, like, it's free.
01:29I'm like, it's good. Everything's good.
01:32I'm here with Alice, who I've known for a long time,
01:36at least 13 years probably.
01:39Christina and Angela are my friends from Flagstaff,
01:41and I've known them a year or two.
01:43Cheers.
01:43Another beautiful night.
01:45Here's to Janelle getting a new man.
01:47Oh, yes.
01:50I mean, like, they are really pushing the dating thing.
01:53Oh, it's fine. Whatever.
01:54I mean, it doesn't mean I have to act.
01:56We don't wear you out with all the questions.
01:57No, I'm good. Yeah, it's all good.
01:59That's how she rolls.
02:00Wait, how did you tell your mom
02:02that you were going to be a polygamist?
02:04Well, I wasn't even at that point.
02:05I was just kind of, I was intrigued by him.
02:08So I was originally introduced to the idea
02:10that polygamy was an option
02:12at the very end of high school.
02:13For a long time, I just had my token polygamist friends
02:16that would, like, party,
02:17something I would talk about at parties.
02:19And I really made it a spiritual, a spiritual thing.
02:22I prayed about it,
02:23and I just really felt strongly
02:25that that was my life path.
02:27When I was, yeah, I was starting to talk to Cody,
02:29and I'd met the family, and I was really intrigued.
02:32My mom's like, oh, heck no.
02:34Heck no, heck no, heck no.
02:36My mom came to save me
02:37and ended up marrying Cody's dad, and that's it.
02:40If you can't beat him, join him?
02:42I don't know.
02:43What?
02:45My mom came to save me from the polygamist
02:47because no daughter of hers was going to marry
02:49into some crazy cult.
02:50And she ended up marrying Cody's dad,
02:52and they actually got married
02:53three months before we did.
02:55When they decided to get married,
02:57I was like,
02:57that's going to be a little hard to explain,
02:58but all right.
03:00It was a little weird at first,
03:01but I'm like, okay, it's great.
03:02Somebody's here with me, I guess, you know,
03:04because a lot of my family
03:05did not understand my choices.
03:07They were hesitant to still remain in contact with me
03:10just because they thought I'd gone off the deep end.
03:13Were there any other women
03:15that you guys had considered
03:17bringing into the family before Robin
03:19or after Robin even?
03:20There was one before me that didn't work out.
03:26The wives always have a say
03:28if somebody is going to come into the family.
03:30It's not like the husband comes home and says,
03:32hey, here's my new wife.
03:33That would never fly.
03:34No, no, no, no, no.
03:36She dodged a bullet.
03:37It was, to be honest with you,
03:39Alice knows.
03:40It really was a beautiful,
03:42honestly, it was a beautiful marriage
03:45between all of them in the beginning.
03:47Like, I would love to see some sort of, like,
03:49everyone's happy for each other and...
03:52Maybe in a decade.
03:53Listen, Cody has a victim card
03:56and he likes to play it.
03:59Right?
04:00That's awesome.
04:01I think that people change, right?
04:02And especially in long marriages.
04:04And when he turned 50,
04:05that was a big deal for him.
04:06Something happened, I think.
04:08He had a different perspective
04:10or something on his life.
04:11And I think he just was like,
04:12I don't know why I want to keep doing this, right?
04:14I don't know if I want to keep
04:14putting all this effort into this family.
04:16I'm putting words in his mouth.
04:18Well, here comes their beautiful food.
04:20Yes.
04:21All right, so this is the garlic blot
04:23with escargot.
04:23Oh, how pretty.
04:24Oh, my God.
04:25It smells so good.
04:27You don't have any handsome farmers
04:29around us, do you?
04:30Yeah.
04:31I wouldn't tell you.
04:33No!
04:34My children are grown.
04:36They are really, essentially, independent.
04:39For the first time ever, I'm like,
04:41wow, I can do whatever I want.
04:42I can pick up and go with my girlfriends
04:44to Hawaii on a moment's notice
04:45or New Orleans on a moment's notice.
04:47I mean, like, you know,
04:48we planned this a little bit, but...
04:49Yeah, like, I kind of enjoy that,
04:51and I kind of want to get back
04:52to finding that person in there
04:54who used to be a little more spontaneous.
05:02So Amber and I have been wanting
05:03to take a trip to Las Vegas.
05:05Have a seat.
05:07You want to tell me
05:07what you've gotten us into?
05:09I'm a little scared.
05:11Oh, my gosh.
05:12I'm a little scared.
05:13And I did find this dating event there,
05:17and so I'm going to let her know
05:18that I found it
05:20and we're registered
05:22and we're going to go.
05:25Um, maybe you could explain to me
05:27what it is
05:29that you've committed us to
05:31in Vegas, of all places?
05:33Well, I mean, listen,
05:34so it's not going to be, like,
05:35a speed dating thing.
05:37What's it called?
05:38I don't know.
05:39It's like Vegas Girls
05:40or something like that.
05:43Are we going to end up strippers
05:44at the end of this?
05:45Do you want to end up strippers?
05:46No.
05:48I mean, they make good money.
05:51The host of this event,
05:52it's called Vegas Girls Events.
05:55What kind of girls in Vegas
05:56is this, really?
05:59This is what's on social media
06:00about it.
06:01If you're ages 40 to 55,
06:03we're hosting a singles mixer
06:04with matchmaking technology.
06:05I mean, that's perfect.
06:0640 to 55.
06:07You're 40, I'm 54.
06:08Okay.
06:09It's a singles mixer.
06:10Keep going.
06:10Are you sick of the dating apps
06:12and looking for a real connection?
06:13Yes.
06:14Okay.
06:14I am totally sick
06:15of the dating apps.
06:16Yeah, they suck.
06:17It will be fun.
06:18Dating at this age is...
06:20Weird.
06:20Bulls***.
06:21I had gone to a speed dating event
06:23in Salt Lake City
06:24a few months ago
06:25and I met Ron
06:26and he and I are still in touch.
06:29We're still talking.
06:30Yeah, there's no pressure
06:30with me and Ron.
06:31We're just kind of seeing
06:32what happens.
06:34Okay, so we have to bring
06:35white t-shirts.
06:36What is this with white t-shirts?
06:38You don't know what white t-shirt?
06:39Spring Break white t-shirt contests?
06:42Oh, is that the same
06:43as a wet t-shirt contest?
06:44Is it wet or is it white?
06:46The white gets wet
06:47and then you see all the things.
06:48Yeah, so is it white?
06:49It's white because...
06:50You call it a white t-shirt
06:51or a wet t-shirt?
06:53If it's a white t-shirt
06:54but it's not wet,
06:56it doesn't have the same effect
06:58as if it's a wet t-shirt
06:59that is white.
07:01If you wore black
07:02and you got it wet,
07:03it wouldn't be the same thing.
07:04So it's a white t-shirt contest.
07:06Let's just make sure though
07:08that when we send texts
07:10of this to each other,
07:13we also put in emojis
07:15of eggplants.
07:18Of eggplants?
07:22Are you going to text me
07:24an eggplant if you're
07:25filling somebody?
07:26I better not be
07:27filling somebody's eggplant.
07:31I promise I'm not going
07:33to be filling an eggplant.
07:38You're nervous.
07:39Well, because dating is weird.
07:41Dating is weird.
07:43Oh, everything's fine.
07:46I'm confident.
07:47You're stressing me out.
07:49Your face, like,
07:50it's stressing me out.
07:53I feel like that I go
07:55into, like, first dates
07:57with very low expectations.
08:02And I know, like,
08:03at the very beginning
08:04it was like,
08:05oh, maybe this could be something
08:07or maybe this could,
08:08you know what I mean?
08:09Were you expecting
08:10to fill something
08:11right off the bat?
08:12I don't want
08:12to fill anything.
08:14Like, the butterflies
08:15and stuff, like,
08:17that's,
08:18that's what makes it,
08:21like, fun initially.
08:23Yeah.
08:23You know?
08:23And so to not have that,
08:25I would feel so bored.
08:26If you're bored,
08:27most people will be like,
08:29oh, this is,
08:30this is not right.
08:31But is there a difference
08:32between bored and calm?
08:33Because I'm good
08:34with feeling calm.
08:35I'm not good
08:36with feeling bored.
08:37You know, like,
08:38for me, like,
08:39my relationship
08:40was so,
08:42it was very,
08:43very dysregulating.
08:44Yeah.
08:46Being married to him.
08:47Yeah.
08:48You know,
08:48because it was like,
08:50I never knew
08:51if or when
08:52I was going to
08:52have any attention.
08:53Yeah.
08:53And that,
08:55that kind of relationship
08:57obviously was not healthy.
09:00When somebody gets
09:01very excited
09:02and get the butterflies
09:03and you get, like,
09:04oh, my gosh,
09:04this is just so amazing.
09:07Was,
09:07is he ever going
09:08to be around?
09:08Is he going to show me
09:09affection and attention
09:10when he is around?
09:12When it's boring,
09:14it's just more grounded.
09:16You don't have
09:17that roller coaster
09:18of emotions.
09:21And so I knew,
09:21I never knew
09:22what to expect,
09:23you know,
09:24and I don't want
09:24to feel like that.
09:26Yeah.
09:26I can recognize,
09:27okay, I'm feeling calm
09:29and I'm not like,
09:32oh, my gosh,
09:33I need it so much.
09:34Hi, lovey.
09:35I'm really glad
09:37that Amber's with me
09:38and that we're
09:39doing this together.
09:40Yeah,
09:41I'm a little bit nervous
09:42about this one.
09:42Oh.
09:44Do you want a daddy?
09:45Do we find your daddy?
09:46Rob and I
09:50are going out
09:51to dinner
09:51and I got something
09:52really special
09:53that I want to talk
09:53to her about.
09:54And I just started
09:55getting this sort of vibe
09:56that I need to go
09:58apologize.
10:01I was trying really hard
10:01not to give him
10:02too much reaction.
10:03He says a lot of things
10:04that may not even happen,
10:05so.
10:06Hey, what size shoe?
10:18I believe an eight
10:19and a half.
10:20We're going to go
10:20bowling today.
10:21To be honest with you,
10:22I haven't been bowling
10:23since, well,
10:25I think Isabel was 12,
10:27I think,
10:27when I went bowling last.
10:28Okay, everything,
10:29oh, my God,
10:30why would you do that
10:30to me?
10:31That's just horrible.
10:33I am honestly
10:33not a fan of bowling.
10:34I think it's terribly boring.
10:35But even if it's like
10:37something that you
10:38don't really like,
10:39just being with people
10:40that you really like
10:40is awesome.
10:42No, Jason.
10:47There you go, see?
10:51Close.
10:52Better.
10:57Wait, no.
11:00No, no.
11:02God, they're a lot.
11:04Shirley and I,
11:04we still have our hugs
11:05like this.
11:06If she's in a bad mood,
11:08I'll be sarcastic to her
11:09and she'll snap out of it
11:10and we'll be just fine.
11:12Your shoe's untied.
11:14David, you're messing me up.
11:17So David is, like,
11:18very much a jokester.
11:20Wait, you run to put on?
11:22Oh, my God.
11:26What?
11:27There you go.
11:28Where did I go?
11:28Got her.
11:29Got her.
11:29He doesn't take anything
11:32too seriously,
11:33which is very awesome.
11:35This is so good for the first time
11:38this year,
11:38and this is David.
11:39We've seen Lily.
11:40When my mom and David
11:43first, like, started dating,
11:44like, it all happened,
11:45like, very fast,
11:45and I wasn't, like,
11:47used to another man
11:48in my mom's life,
11:49so I was really worried
11:50about what kind of role
11:51he would take up.
11:53I was worried mostly
11:54that he would, like,
11:55take up the role
11:56of dad in our family,
11:57which we have a dad,
11:59so I was, like,
12:00I thought that he might,
12:01like, take up too much space.
12:05He doesn't do that,
12:06and he never oversteps.
12:12Okay.
12:13When you're throwing
12:14the arm down,
12:15you're turning it this way.
12:17Turn it out a little bit.
12:19Okay.
12:20He's, like, very respectful.
12:21He's very respectful of my dad.
12:23He's very respectful of my mom
12:24and her kids
12:25and that she is a mom to us
12:27and that he is her husband
12:28and not her dad,
12:30and so, like,
12:31that's a hard thing to balance,
12:32especially, like,
12:33if your dad isn't, like,
12:35very, like, prevalent
12:36in, like, your life.
12:39What, Isabel?
12:41Honey!
12:42Woo!
12:43Oh, she got a spare.
12:46My dad and I
12:47do not talk very often.
12:48No.
12:50Yeah.
12:53My dad and I are, like,
12:54close, close, close, close,
12:55close, close, close,
12:56but, I mean,
12:57he's still my dad
12:58and I love him.
13:00Woo!
13:01Oh, there she goes.
13:02She's dialing in.
13:04Whoa!
13:04Hey, oh!
13:05One left.
13:06Woo!
13:07Like, I've realized, like,
13:08how much of,
13:09like, a role my mom has
13:11in my life.
13:12I mean, she's two people
13:13in one.
13:13She can be the dad
13:15and she can be the mom
13:16and she's perfect at it.
13:17And so,
13:18and then David's awesome, too.
13:21Good job.
13:22Oh, my God.
13:23I fell for her.
13:24Aw.
13:26Yeah, no,
13:26no, it's important to me
13:27to have my kids see me
13:29in a full-functioning relationship
13:30and a loving and romantic
13:32and fun and silly
13:33and I love that my kids
13:35get to be exposed
13:36to a great couple like us,
13:37honestly.
13:38Everybody ready?
13:40One, two, three,
13:40cheese!
13:41Cheese!
13:41I think it took.
13:43A chair with you
13:57in and not a problem.
13:59Oh, I know.
14:00Rob and I are going out
14:01to dinner
14:02and have a special night
14:03to a great place
14:04and I got something
14:05really special
14:06that I want to talk
14:06to her about.
14:07So, I got this idea
14:10that I've been thinking
14:12about a lot
14:13and it's more than an idea.
14:15Mm-hmm.
14:17Everything that went down
14:18with trying to sell
14:19Coyote Pass.
14:21Yeah.
14:21I was, like,
14:22having traumatic responses
14:24to what felt like
14:27still being a connection
14:29to these exes
14:30that made me feel
14:31manipulated and unsafe.
14:34Yeah.
14:34Right?
14:34I'm just trying
14:36to make people happy.
14:38After the sell
14:39Coyote Pass,
14:39I had this experience
14:40where I just felt like
14:43I was disappointed.
14:45The real factor is
14:47is that I felt shame.
14:51All right.
14:51Well, we're...
14:52Looks like it's all
14:53coming together.
14:56All right.
14:57I'm glad it's done.
14:58Glad.
14:58Glad it's finally done.
15:00We finally get it done.
15:01We meet with them
15:02and it's just...
15:04awkward.
15:09I wasn't getting along
15:11with ex-wives.
15:12I had had so much venom
15:14and vitriol toward them.
15:16As I look back on it,
15:17the only part of it
15:18that I control
15:18is my own behavior
15:19and my own actions.
15:20And I'm like,
15:21well, if I would have done
15:22that better,
15:23then we wouldn't have
15:24all this angsty distrust.
15:27You know,
15:28after that whole experience,
15:29it was still just weird
15:31at Coyote Pass
15:32and then you talking
15:33to me about
15:35getting therapy,
15:36I kind of got
15:38just prayerfully tuned in,
15:39trying to go,
15:40okay, God,
15:40what should I do
15:41about this mess
15:42that I'm in
15:42and how I feel?
15:43You know,
15:43I just started getting
15:44this sort of vibe
15:46that I need to go...
15:48apologize.
15:51just with what
16:00I need to own
16:01about the breakups,
16:02about how things
16:03happen with the family.
16:05I don't know how
16:06to say this,
16:06just straight as I can.
16:09I want them to...
16:10I want to set them free,
16:12just get them to...
16:14stop thinking,
16:15talking,
16:16being about me.
16:17So how are you
16:17going to do that?
16:19I'd go and apologize.
16:21Because I'm angry
16:24and I'm just sick of it.
16:28I was...
16:29When he first told me
16:30that he wanted
16:31to meet with the exes
16:33and I apologized,
16:35I was like kind of
16:36sort of shocked.
16:38And I was trying
16:39really hard not to give
16:40him too much reaction
16:41because I was just like...
16:43I was processing it.
16:44He says a lot of things
16:45that may not even happen,
16:47so...
16:48I want to apologize
16:50for being angry
16:51when they wanted out.
16:53I don't think
16:54you should be so hard
16:55on yourself
16:55about being hurt.
16:57That's pretty normal.
16:58But here's the thing,
16:59because I got angry,
17:01I caused other hurtful
17:03issues.
17:04Like this is an apology
17:05to all three of you.
17:06I don't want to do it
17:07at the same time
17:07or anything like that.
17:08I don't want you to get
17:09some funny idea
17:09where I'm going to meet
17:10with all three of them.
17:12I just want to...
17:12Yeah, because I think
17:14that would set me up
17:14for just total failure.
17:18Um...
17:19There's a lot of...
17:21Are you hearing
17:21what I'm saying though,
17:22the idea of this apology?
17:24Yeah.
17:24I didn't mean
17:25to interrupt your thought,
17:26but I'm not sure
17:27if I've made myself clear.
17:28I seldom do.
17:30Before...
17:31I know you've got
17:31some other thoughts,
17:32but the first thing
17:33I want to ask you
17:33is do you think
17:34that's dumb?
17:36Do you think it's...
17:37I mean, not dumb,
17:37I mean, like, foolish.
17:46Hoo!
17:47I have had men
17:49kind of joke about,
17:51like, ooh,
17:51I get a bunch of women.
17:53Cheers to...
17:54Finding our soulmates!
17:55Finding your soulmate!
17:57I didn't choose polygamy,
17:58just for the sex.
18:00Look at all my people
18:01down there!
18:02Yeah!
18:03Oh, dang!
18:04I thought that was awesome.
18:06Oh, my God!
18:07This is our last day
18:13in New Orleans,
18:13and I want to make sure
18:14we maximize
18:15the things
18:17that we can do here.
18:18Like, if I was
18:19a sister-wife,
18:20I would just look
18:21at the other wives
18:22as best friends.
18:23Yeah, I mean,
18:23that's great
18:24if that happens.
18:25I would be too jealous.
18:27Like, I could not do
18:29the multiple wives.
18:30Like, I'm a Latina,
18:32so I'm already
18:32jealous enough.
18:34Well, look,
18:34I didn't grow up
18:35thinking,
18:35oh, I'm going to live
18:36this life.
18:36Like, when I was...
18:37I mean, it was such
18:37a strong religious
18:38conviction.
18:39And so I kind of
18:40went into it thinking
18:41we were going to
18:41all be best friends,
18:42you know,
18:42and this utopia thing.
18:44And then the first
18:45week or two,
18:46Mary and I,
18:47it didn't mesh well.
18:48I think I went in
18:52so idealistic thinking,
18:53oh, this is going
18:54to be awesome,
18:55you know.
18:56And the conflict
18:57started, like,
18:57almost immediately.
18:58And I thought,
18:59okay, this is very
19:01different than what
19:01I thought it was
19:01going to be.
19:03There was never,
19:03like, an exit plan.
19:06I was committed
19:06to my faith,
19:07and I'm like,
19:08yep, I'm going
19:08to figure this out.
19:09Do you feel like
19:11there's going to be
19:12a day where you're
19:12completely separated
19:13from the entire family
19:14except your immediate
19:16family?
19:16I think we'll always
19:17be a family.
19:18Like, really, truly.
19:19Because now the next
19:20generation's coming,
19:21and McKelty and Tony
19:22now live in North Carolina.
19:23Okay.
19:24So those babies
19:24are going to come
19:25to me in the summer.
19:26I think we might
19:26have discussed that
19:27for a minute.
19:28Going to have to just
19:28tell her that's
19:29what it's going to be.
19:29Would you ever go
19:30to counseling with
19:31Cody and Robin
19:32to try to fix anything?
19:33Like, no,
19:34I don't like them.
19:35Yeah?
19:36Oh, no.
19:39Why?
19:40Why?
19:40There's no point of that.
19:42No, why would I
19:42need to do that?
19:43Now that we really
19:44know all these things
19:46that how you feel,
19:47I think it's going to
19:48be so much easier
19:49for you just to move
19:50on and get past
19:51everything and really
19:52release, you know?
19:54Like, a spiritual release
19:55is not something I've
19:56really thought about.
19:57But when Mary told me
19:58she was, got, that she
20:00had gotten one, I'm like,
20:01oh, I could?
20:03I think for a long time,
20:04at least the first couple
20:05years, I'm like, I don't
20:05even want to think about it.
20:06And now I'm kind of like,
20:07okay, what do I need to do
20:09here to, like, finally
20:10really put this, like,
20:11end this, like, completely?
20:13Obviously, there's no
20:14legal marriage, and so
20:15there's no legal divorce.
20:16Like, you don't have to
20:17get a divorce.
20:18But a spiritual release
20:19is essentially being
20:21released from the
20:22spiritual covenant you
20:23made to be married.
20:24I just need to make sure
20:26all the little pieces
20:27are in place.
20:28But now I'm like, you
20:29know, I think it's time
20:30to kind of really cut
20:31all those ties with Cody.
20:33So that's become, it's
20:34become more of a thing
20:36in my brain now.
20:37Like I said, I want to
20:38cut that final tie,
20:39whether I imagine that
20:41it's there or I feel
20:42that it's there, whatever.
20:43I just maybe need to
20:44make sure and cut all
20:46the ties.
20:47I don't want to, like,
20:48you know, so what if my
20:49religion is right and I
20:50wake up and I'm in heaven
20:51and I'm married to him,
20:51I'm like, oh, hell,
20:52I'm not having that
20:52happen.
20:53Do you know what I mean?
20:55She's going to be like,
20:56send me back.
20:56Send me back.
20:58I don't want to be
20:58married to him anymore,
20:59you know what I mean?
21:05It's a fairly legal club.
21:07Kind of like polygamy.
21:08Yeah.
21:09Marvin Street's a
21:10different animal at night
21:11for sure.
21:12This is Janelle out
21:13of the shell.
21:14Janelle in the wild.
21:16My girlfriends are like,
21:16we should throw beads,
21:17we should dance.
21:18And I'm like, I don't know.
21:24Do you know, I was raised
21:26in such a conservative
21:27culture.
21:28We didn't drink,
21:29we didn't smoke,
21:30no premarital sex,
21:31nothing.
21:31It was so conservative.
21:32And here we are basically
21:33in New Orleans,
21:35participating kind of in,
21:36like, Mardi Gras,
21:37which is really fun,
21:37a big party.
21:38You're bolder in the dark,
21:44right?
21:46Oh, here we go.
21:47Look at all the people down there.
21:51Look at all your people.
21:57Oh, dude.
22:02I thought that was awesome.
22:03Yeah, I thought it was awesome.
22:05Like, a couple of guys are like,
22:06oh, they flash this.
22:07I'm like, yeah, okay.
22:11Here we go.
22:12Woo!
22:14So this was really
22:15a fun experience.
22:16I'm like, oh,
22:17there's a lot for me
22:18to still experience
22:18in this world.
22:19I was so hurt,
22:27so angry
22:28that I took a knife
22:29and I swung it so hard
22:31I cut myself.
22:32I just want to be
22:33more benevolent.
22:34And I'm not.
22:35I'm kind of a,
22:36I don't want to say
22:37asshole,
22:38but I'm like,
22:39I have asshole potential.
22:41You can be rough,
22:42for sure.
22:42There you go.
22:57It's like I've never
22:58opened a wine bottle before.
22:59And I know you have.
23:02Amber and I got to Vegas.
23:04We've got a little charcuterie,
23:05a little wine,
23:07our favorite things,
23:08so good conversation,
23:09good friend.
23:10This is awesome.
23:11Cheers to...
23:13Finding our soulmates.
23:14Finding your soulmate.
23:16I'm rooting for you tonight.
23:17I know.
23:17I mean, you know.
23:18I know.
23:19I'm going,
23:19but I'm rooting for you.
23:19We all need to find
23:20our soulmates at some point.
23:21That's true.
23:21Okay, to finding our soulmates.
23:22Okay.
23:23And it doesn't have to be tonight.
23:24It's just whenever.
23:25Just finding our soulmates,
23:26but sometime soon.
23:27Because freaking man,
23:28I'm tired of waiting.
23:29Okay, one, two, three.
23:31Cheers.
23:35Now let's,
23:36let's go find our soulmates.
23:38I don't look at myself
23:39as being incomplete
23:40if I don't have a partner.
23:44My partner will just add
23:47to the amazingness
23:49that I already am.
23:53Mayor?
23:53Yeah?
23:54Question.
23:55Yeah?
23:56What if the guy that you like
23:57his name is Cody?
23:59What?
24:00Yeah.
24:01What?
24:01What if the guy
24:02that you like tonight,
24:03his name is Cody?
24:04How do you feel about that?
24:08I basically just rolled
24:10my eyes at you
24:10and looked away.
24:11I mean, I kind of rolled
24:12my eyes when I asked it.
24:13There's, there's a few names
24:15that I think
24:16I would just pass on
24:18and that
24:18is one of them.
24:19What are the other names?
24:21Christine's husband, David.
24:22I feel like that would be
24:23really weird.
24:24Yeah.
24:24You know what I mean?
24:25Mm-hmm.
24:26I mean, it's great for Christine.
24:28I am so happy for her
24:29that she has a David.
24:30And for that reason,
24:32I cannot.
24:33What if he wants
24:34to try polygamy?
24:36No, I'm not interested
24:37in polygamy.
24:38I, I'm, I've done that
24:39and I don't want to do it.
24:41So, like, if you matched
24:42with somebody
24:42and you got to the end
24:43and, like,
24:44that you guys were totally vibing
24:45and you found out
24:46that they were polygamists,
24:48it would be dumb.
24:48Like, he actually had wives?
24:50Yeah.
24:51No.
24:51No.
24:52100% no.
24:53I have had men
24:54kind of joke about,
24:56like, ooh,
24:57I get a bunch of women?
24:58No, not interested in you.
25:00When we started it,
25:02like, when Cody and I
25:03got married,
25:03it was about, like,
25:04it was part of our
25:05belief structure.
25:06That's what I believed.
25:07That's what I thought
25:08was right for me,
25:09you know?
25:10Yeah.
25:10And I don't have
25:11that belief anymore.
25:12I didn't choose polygamy
25:14just for the sex
25:17or, or the lack thereof.
25:20Either way.
25:21But in all seriousness,
25:25though, like,
25:26I chose it for a purpose.
25:28There was the religious
25:30background.
25:31I was fully invested
25:32in Cody and my sister wives
25:35and our family.
25:36Like, there was a purpose
25:37to it.
25:38I don't believe that anymore.
25:41Maybe I'll get to heaven
25:42and find out that I was wrong.
25:44Maybe I won't get to heaven
25:45at all.
25:46I don't even know.
25:47But it's not something
25:49that I believe in
25:50or subscribe to anymore.
25:52So, no, I'm not choosing
25:54to live polygamy again.
25:56Okay, so what are you
25:57hoping for?
25:59Um, tonight?
26:00Yeah.
26:01Um, I'm not looking
26:03for a feeling.
26:04So you're looking
26:05for a friend?
26:06Well, I mean,
26:07I want more than a friend.
26:08You're looking for a friend
26:08that you're physically
26:09attracted to?
26:11I really want somebody
26:13who's going to cheer me on
26:14in all my endeavors.
26:15Like, I just really want
26:17just a very grounded,
26:19hey, we can talk.
26:21We laugh.
26:22We communicate.
26:23That's what I'm looking for.
26:25Are you okay with this tonight?
26:27Are you good?
26:27Are you comfortable?
26:28Yeah, I think I'm worried.
26:31Why are you worried?
26:32Because I think there
26:33are going to be red flags.
26:34We're here.
26:35We're invested.
26:36And also, I don't know
26:38what to expect with it.
26:39And I am a little bit nervous.
26:42Do you need wine right now?
26:44Yeah, let's do wine.
26:45Sounds great.
26:46Are you?
26:48Yeah.
26:49You're good?
26:49Do you need more?
26:50Yeah, let's do more.
26:51Okay.
26:52Are you?
27:04Sometimes I feel like
27:05if I weigh in too fast
27:06on some of his creative ideas,
27:08I can influence it
27:10in a negative way
27:10or a positive way.
27:12This specifically
27:13would be something
27:14that Cody would need
27:14to own
27:15a hundred million thousand percent.
27:18I don't think
27:19anytime someone
27:20wants to say
27:22I'm sorry for
27:24X, Y, and Z
27:26to someone else
27:27if they feel like
27:28they've hurt them
27:29is wrong.
27:30I don't want to apologize
27:32for what I've been accused of.
27:35I want to apologize
27:35for what I know I've done.
27:38Right.
27:39I don't know
27:40what kind of order
27:41when I will do this.
27:42I don't know how long
27:43it'll take me to do it.
27:45These apologies
27:46are an obligation
27:47to my conscience.
27:48I don't know
27:49if we'll get healing
27:50out of it.
27:51I can hope we would.
27:52The thing I'm feeling
27:53is kind of like
27:54I've got a pilgrimage.
27:55So is there
27:57anything
27:58like specifically
28:00you're sort of
28:00thinking about
28:01as far as
28:02things you want
28:04to mention?
28:06One thing
28:07that
28:08I was very serious
28:10about when I said it
28:11Yeah.
28:12but then I felt
28:13really
28:14like it was
28:15really crappy
28:16to say
28:17a year or two later
28:19was that I never
28:21loved him.
28:22When you said that
28:24it
28:25it shook me hard.
28:27Did you feel
28:27betrayed by it
28:28or something?
28:29It took me a minute.
28:30I was like
28:31do I not know
28:32who he is?
28:33Did I
28:33was I deceived?
28:35Because
28:36it was a really
28:37big deal to me
28:38when I was growing up.
28:40You'd see it all the time
28:41in our church
28:42where there would be
28:43a man with multiple wives
28:44and there would be
28:46this
28:46like
28:47a wife
28:49that was just
28:50absolutely unloved
28:51you know
28:52and
28:53like
28:54just
28:55the devastation
28:56of a woman
28:57trying to sit there
28:59and like
28:59be in a marriage
29:01where
29:02not only is she
29:04sharing her husband
29:06and going through
29:07that whole process
29:08of sharing all the resources
29:09and sharing
29:10his love
29:11and time
29:12and attention
29:12but also
29:14just
29:14completely
29:15not being considered
29:16and not loved
29:17and not taken care of
29:18and
29:19that's wrong
29:21so when you said
29:24I never loved them
29:26that wasn't
29:29in fact
29:31it makes me sad
29:31to think that I said it
29:33it was one of the things
29:36that was one of the things
29:37that made me fall in love
29:38with you
29:38so when you said it
29:41I was just like
29:41what the hell
29:42he's also talking about
29:46apologizing
29:47for saying he never loved them
29:48and I was like
29:49hallelujah
29:51thank you Jesus
29:52because I'm just
29:53I
29:53like what
29:57yeah
29:59it just did not
30:00it was not
30:00the truth
30:01that I knew
30:01and
30:02I know
30:03it wasn't the truth
30:04that they knew
30:04and I just felt
30:06really bad
30:07for the kids
30:07and going
30:08you have no idea
30:09the kind of pain
30:10you're causing
30:11right here
30:11I was so hurt
30:13so angry
30:14that I took a knife
30:16and I swung it
30:17so hard
30:17I cut myself
30:18I just want
30:21to be more benevolent
30:22and I'm not
30:23I'm kind of a
30:24I don't want to say
30:25asshole
30:26but I'm like
30:27I have asshole potential
30:29you could be
30:30you can be rough
30:31for sure
30:31I do understand
30:32wanting more peace
30:33I'm glad you like it
30:35yeah
30:36I think it has a potential
30:38of being really
30:39really beautiful
30:39so
30:41there's a possibility
30:44that
30:45my apology
30:48would be like
30:49not only not accepted
30:50but completely rejected
30:51and
30:52I'm going to be
30:55a bulldozer
30:56not in the sense
30:57of being unkind
30:58but in the sense
31:00of not being
31:01taken off my track
31:02no matter what
31:03the pushback is
31:04and
31:04there could be
31:05some serious pushback
31:07so now that
31:15this property
31:16is done
31:16your dad reached out
31:17to me
31:17he's like
31:17I want to come out
31:18and go to dinner
31:18with you
31:18and I'm like
31:19why
31:20it's
31:21do you think
31:22he wants something
31:22or do you think
31:23he wants to extend
31:23the offer
31:24yeah I don't know
31:25like it was so strange
31:26and I'm glad
31:27it came after
31:28the property deal
31:29I'm glad that's all done
31:31it sounds like
31:31an emotional
31:33like he's not
31:34in your life anymore
31:34so he now wants
31:35to put himself
31:35back in your life
31:36does anybody else want
31:47does anybody else want
31:47more coffee
31:47I could probably do
31:49like a half a cup
31:50I don't know
31:51okay you two out
31:53out
31:54out
31:54out
31:55out
31:55wow
31:57excuse me
31:58try that again
31:59are you seven going
32:01on eight or what
32:01thanks
32:03so now that this
32:07property is done
32:08your dad reached out
32:09to me
32:09he's like
32:09I want to come out
32:10to Raleigh
32:12and go to dinner
32:12with you
32:13and I'm like
32:13why
32:14he said
32:16I just
32:17want to extend
32:19the olive branch
32:19I don't know
32:21what he wants
32:21but
32:22it's
32:23do you think
32:23he wants something
32:24or do you think
32:24he wants to extend
32:25the olive branch
32:25yeah I don't know
32:26like it was so strange
32:28and I'm glad
32:28it came after
32:29the property deal
32:30I'm glad that's all done
32:32yeah
32:32you know what I mean
32:33it sounds like
32:35an emotional
32:36like he's not
32:37in your life anymore
32:37so he now wants
32:38to put himself
32:39back in your life
32:39I suspect
32:41it has something
32:41to do with
32:42the family
32:42and the kids
32:43but I'm like
32:44you don't need me
32:45we're not friends
32:46I'm not going to
32:48facilitate for you
32:49you know what I mean
32:50so
32:50there is
32:52a lot
32:53in the family
32:53that could be better
32:55the family unit
32:56like I mean
32:57families can be
32:58apart
32:59but still
33:00have cohesion
33:01like parents
33:02can split
33:02it would be a lot
33:04for Cody
33:04to sort of
33:05make amends
33:06but
33:06I don't know
33:07we'll see what he says
33:08do you think
33:09for you
33:10there would ever be
33:11I think there
33:16could be
33:16forgiveness
33:16I mean
33:18it seems
33:19so
33:20far out there
33:22for him to have
33:22a relationship
33:23with you guys
33:23again
33:24I am open
33:26to
33:26like
33:27reconciliation
33:28forgiveness
33:29and disclosure
33:29but if he ever
33:31wanted to be let
33:31back into our lives
33:32there would need
33:35to be a pattern
33:35of consistency
33:36that's true
33:38well
33:39is there something
33:40that you hope
33:41will come of
33:41the relationship
33:42no
33:42I don't have
33:43no just like
33:43an amicable
33:44no like
33:45I mean like
33:45I think we're pretty
33:46when we have to
33:47work together
33:47like dealt
33:48because like
33:48we had to deal
33:48quite a bit
33:49with each other
33:50the last couple
33:51weeks before
33:51the property
33:52settled down
33:53did you have to
33:53or was that
33:54just like
33:54I was proactively
33:56trying to keep it
33:57managed
33:57keep it moving along
33:58and he did call me
33:59a couple of times
34:00and he called
34:01to check on me
34:02on the anniversary
34:03of Garrison's death
34:04and on his birthday
34:05he called to check on me
34:06and I actually
34:07thought about
34:07calling him
34:08but I'm like
34:08I don't
34:08is that weird
34:09I don't know
34:10but it was fine
34:11like it was all fine
34:11so
34:12maybe he does
34:14just want to
34:15extend it all
34:16over Branch
34:17yeah maybe
34:18so he can walk you
34:19down the aisle
34:19on your next wedding
34:20yeah no
34:22no
34:24I don't really
34:26have much desire
34:26to see Robin
34:27but I mean
34:28I guess
34:29I could go
34:29to dinner with him
34:30sure
34:36like someone
34:37can look great
34:37on paper
34:38and be completely
34:39emotionally unavailable
34:40I just don't want
34:41to deal with somebody
34:42that doesn't have
34:43the emotional maturity
34:43and that's really
34:45hard to know
34:46honestly
34:47there's some stuff
34:48that I thought
34:48that I had
34:49dealt with enough
34:50yeah
34:51um
34:51after
34:52my divorce
34:54and then
34:55when you go back
34:55into a relationship
34:56you realize
34:57oh
34:57maybe I haven't
34:59dealt with that
34:59enough
35:00what I thought
35:01so I walked out
35:02of my marriage
35:03very much
35:03and like
35:04that's how I operated
35:04was like
35:05anxious attachment
35:05right
35:06I like to think
35:07that I'm more secure
35:08now
35:09and can identify
35:09those red flags
35:10now
35:11but I don't know
35:13well
35:14how do you know
35:15and then I get
35:15attached
35:16and so
35:17yeah
35:17I'm an all-in person
35:19you know this
35:19about me
35:20I am too
35:21I know you are
35:22we're one
35:22we're one man women
35:23yeah
35:24like we don't
35:25yeah
35:25I'm the type of person
35:27that my very first
35:29instinct
35:29is to believe
35:30the words
35:31that come out
35:31of your mouth
35:32but
35:33also
35:34I've had
35:35you know
35:36this
35:36experience
35:37of
35:38many many years
35:40of
35:40not
35:41being
35:42I mean
35:44basically
35:44I would say
35:45I was lied to
35:46I would
35:47I would say
35:47I was lied to
35:48like I never
35:49want to be like
35:50I need to have
35:51somebody
35:52and I don't feel
35:52like I'm
35:53I don't get that
35:54from you at all
35:55no
35:55there's been
35:56time between
35:57your divorce
35:58and stuff
36:00shows that like
36:01you're not just
36:03looking for
36:03anybody
36:04no I want a man
36:05who understands
36:06that it is a
36:07privilege to be
36:08in my space
36:09and
36:10I'm
36:11worthy of being
36:12treated well
36:14by him
36:14my biggest
36:16my biggest problem
36:17with the way that
36:18Cody handled
36:20our separation
36:22was that he
36:24didn't communicate
36:24it with me
36:25and then when
36:27he did communicate
36:28it he said
36:28it was all
36:29a lie
36:29so either way
36:32my whole life
36:33was a lie
36:33cheers to finding
36:35men
36:36that are okay
36:37with us
36:37having some
36:38freaking self
36:39respect
36:39yeah for sure
36:40so moving
36:41forward
36:42into
36:43finding
36:44a potential
36:45relationship
36:46like that's
36:47one of the
36:47things that
36:48I'm like
36:48okay is this
36:49you
36:50is this
36:50real you
36:51are you
36:52going to
36:52change your
36:52mind later
36:53are you
36:53going to
36:54lie about
36:54it later
36:55that was
36:55like a
36:5630 year
36:56experience
36:57of
36:57was it
36:58a lie
36:58was it
36:59not a
36:59lie
36:59oh my gosh
37:10okay
37:10what is
37:11your face
37:12doing
37:12when I look
37:15in the mirror
37:16I see
37:18somebody who's
37:18definitely more
37:19confident
37:19than I have
37:21been in a
37:21really long
37:22time
37:22is this a
37:23Vegas thing
37:24or what
37:24it must be
37:25a Vegas
37:25funhouse thing
37:26there's still
37:28parts of me
37:29that kind of
37:31fight the
37:31imposter syndrome
37:32and it's like
37:33am I worthy of
37:35this am I good
37:36enough for this
37:37am I going to be
37:38chosen or selected
37:39or does anybody
37:40care what I say
37:41and I'm not even
37:42speaking just dating
37:43right but like
37:44do people want to
37:45hear what I say
37:46do I have
37:46something valuable
37:48to offer
37:49damn right you
37:51do
37:51this is so dumb
37:53all right
37:54well okay
37:55okay that was
37:56fine
37:56okay
37:58we had a good
38:01time
38:01I'm in North
38:14Carolina right
38:15now I'm traveling
38:18here to meet
38:19with Janelle
38:20there's been in
38:23the past so much
38:25animosity that I'm
38:26just like hey
38:27it's time to
38:29literally bury the
38:30hatch and I am
38:31here to apologize
38:33I haven't reached
38:35out to Christine
38:36or Mary yet
38:37my heart isn't
38:38soft enough to
38:39actually apologize
38:40to them yet
38:41the devil gets
38:42in your head
38:43you know hey
38:44father in heaven
38:45I need some help
38:46here because me
38:47this jack wagon
38:48I'm just an
38:49asshole to most
38:50people and I
38:52really don't want
38:52to do that
38:53anymore I never
38:54thought I was
38:55until I got
38:56divorced I thought
38:56everybody liked
38:57me and then
39:00when you know
39:00the three people
39:01you thought you
39:02were the superhero
39:03for says you're
39:05an asshole
39:05what are you
39:07talking about
39:08you're the
39:09asshole
39:09it's an effort
39:12to just say
39:13have a great
39:15I don't even
39:16know how to say
39:16it I don't even
39:18know what to say
39:19really I was
39:22emotionally in
39:24the state of
39:26a 12 year
39:27old I guess
39:27when the
39:29breakups happen
39:29and so instead
39:31of going
39:32live your best
39:33life and be
39:34at peace
39:35I was really
39:37really angry
39:38and with
39:40more of an
39:41attitude of
39:41why are you
39:43interrupting
39:45and destroying
39:46my peace
39:46and that wasn't
39:48the right
39:48attitude to
39:49have
39:49the reason
39:50I'm going
39:50to Janelle
39:51first is
39:51simply because
39:52there's so much
39:53less toxicity
39:54there's so much
39:55less for me
39:56to forgive
39:56it's easier
39:57for me to go
39:58ask forgiveness
39:59I know this
40:05was wrong
40:06what I did
40:06and I know
40:07this was wrong
40:08what I did
40:08and I know
40:09this was wrong
40:09what I did
40:10and I apologize
40:11because I
40:12hurt you
40:13and that
40:14for that
40:15I wish
40:16I'd have
40:16never done
40:17that
40:17I'm on
40:20the right
40:20path
40:21I have
40:22something
40:23that I think
40:23is a
40:24righteous
40:24course
40:25I'm
40:27looking forward
40:28to Janelle
40:29coming here
40:29and looking
40:31forward to
40:31laying it
40:33all out
40:33bare
40:34with
40:36what I've
40:36done
40:37next time
40:41on
40:42Sister Wives
40:43are you guys
40:45ready to find
40:46love
40:46yes
40:47I know
40:49that these
40:50days
40:50with dating
40:51it's very
40:51complicated
40:52it's not
40:53what it
40:53used to
40:53be
40:53I feel
40:54bad for
40:55people
40:55that happen
40:55to go
40:56through
40:56this
40:56process
40:57now
40:57that's
40:59so hypocritical
41:00but I
41:00don't want
41:01to talk
41:01to Cody
41:02ever
41:02again
41:03I don't
41:04trust
41:04anything
41:04that comes
41:05out of
41:05his mouth
41:05why would
41:06I put
41:06myself
41:06in that
41:06situation
41:07no
41:07I'm
41:09on a
41:09pilgrimage
41:10to apologize
41:11to my
41:12ex-wives
41:12I get a
41:14little bit
41:14nervous
41:14thinking
41:15that it
41:16could go
41:16really
41:16really
41:17wrong
41:17why
41:19like
41:19I mean
41:20why now
41:20is this
41:21going to
41:22be even
41:22for real
41:23you
41:23you
41:23you
41:24I
41:24I
41:27I
41:27I
41:28I
41:28I
41:29I
41:30I
41:30I
41:31I
41:32I
41:32I
41:32I
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