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00:00...was engulfed by an avalanche.
00:03Perfectly preserved under the snow,
00:05he was found and miraculously brought back to life
00:08over 40 years later.
00:18Make it sparkle, please, boys.
00:23What are you doing? I'm kidding!
00:25Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:27Whoa.
00:27Whoa. Fist only.
00:30Shake hands afterwards.
00:32Mr Mammoth, glad I caught you.
00:34I just wondered if there was possibly an option
00:36for you to cover my lesson later.
00:38I've got a bit of an emergency at home
00:40and you're the only one with a free lesson?
00:47No. No.
00:54Cheers.
00:57There's bits in that.
00:59There's bits in that.
00:59There's bits in that.
01:01You're the one with a free lesson.
01:03I'll be back to you next time.
01:03Thanks.
01:04I'll be back to you next time.
01:04Thanks.
01:05Here we go.
01:06Yes.
01:07We'll be back to you next time.
01:37Of course, paddle is a sport, mammoth. Plus, the kids like it.
01:42And more importantly, the head of department, me, likes it.
01:46Think we should get the equipment?
01:48Paddle. It's just tennis for fatties and old people.
01:50All the department needs is new sand in the long jump pit.
01:54Hey, where are you going? Staff meeting?
01:57I got an arrangement with Cowley.
01:59Everyone else goes to staff meetings, I work on my golf swing.
02:01Yeah, but Cowley's not here.
02:04What?
02:04He's been signed off. Stress.
02:06Stress?
02:07What's he going to be stressed about?
02:09Certain members of staff.
02:11Well, they're misdrevers, isn't it? I'll kill him.
02:13The LEA have brought in a short-term interim head.
02:16They got a new bloke filling in.
02:19Good morning, team!
02:21My name's Mr Reynolds, but you can call me Gus.
02:23I've heard great things about the crack squad here at Nolan High School,
02:28and it is an honour to be driving this ship forward as Mr Cowley takes some much-needed rest time.
02:35Right.
02:36Shall we have a look at your department action plans?
02:38Oh, thank you.
02:39Mammoth?
02:40Sorry, Mr, um...
02:41Mammoth?
02:43Mr Mammoth.
02:44Mr Mammoth, this is an all-staff meeting.
02:46We've got an arrangement with Cowley.
02:47Yeah, and that's great, but I'd really love it to be an all-staff meeting.
02:51Cheers, buddy.
02:53Buddy.
02:53Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm really excited.
03:00I feel like we need a nice change around here.
03:03The skipper had this place running like a well-oiled machine.
03:06Well, he didn't address any of my concerns about staff in my department.
03:10Now, now, team, I'm sure we're all pulling in the same direction, yes?
03:14Mr Mammoth, maybe you'd like to share the P department's action plan?
03:18Oh, here we go.
03:18The plan is...
03:25Excellent P.E.
03:30Could you elaborate on that?
03:33Excellent physical education.
03:37Yes.
03:37Well, I think you might want to brush up on that a little bit, Mr Mammoth.
03:43Oh, God!
03:44Do you know what?
03:45I'm not putting up with this.
03:46You might think you've won the battle, mate, but you haven't won the war.
03:51The revolution starts today.
03:53Who's with me?
04:05Surprise!
04:05Don't do that!
04:07Oh, my baby.
04:10My big, strapping, handsome 18-year-old.
04:13Feels like only yesterday I was kissing that face goodnight and tucking you in.
04:16You did do that yesterday.
04:17Now, we can't get the photographer today, but they're going to come tomorrow.
04:21Oh, Mum...
04:22What?
04:22It's tradition!
04:24You love our mum and son photo shoots.
04:26Do you open your present from your grandad?
04:30Yep.
04:31Oh.
04:31Well, I'd better go.
04:33I'm going to be late for school.
04:34School?
04:35On your birthday?
04:36Oh, I don't think so, Mr.
04:38I've already phoned him and said you got measles.
04:40High five!
04:41It's foreheads!
04:42Now, I know you said you didn't want me to arrange anything.
04:48Yeah, because I don't.
04:49But you can't not have a party on your 18th.
04:51What would you like to do more than anything in this world?
04:54Oh, there is actually a new manga exhibition.
04:57That's right!
04:58Hedge maze.
05:00I found this great one at a National Trust house.
05:02What's that?
05:03Has he got a tea room?
05:05Er, let me think.
05:05Only the best bloody tea room on TripAdvisor.
05:07I liked hedge mazes when I was a kid.
05:10I'm not really into them anymore.
05:11That's fine.
05:12OK, we'll cancel it if that's what you want.
05:14Yes, please.
05:15I'm lying.
05:16We're going.
05:17It's going to be great.
05:20Beep-bo!
05:24I don't think that balance spring's seen WD-40
05:26since I was in short trousers.
05:28I think you've got your work cut out there, Peter.
05:31Could you have plenty of time on my hands, John?
05:37It's very therapeutic, though.
05:39God, I haven't done anything like this for years.
05:41I just feel a total sense of calm.
05:48Skipper!
05:52Mr. Mammoth, how did you find me?
05:55Mrs. C told me where you were.
05:56Not straight away.
05:58I told you it was an important police matter,
05:59and you were facing some very serious allegations.
06:02What?
06:03I'm in the middle of something.
06:05What, playing with toys?
06:05What is this place?
06:08It's a share and repair group.
06:10People bring in broken things, and we fix them.
06:13This cannot pay you more than a headteacher salary.
06:16I'm not being paid.
06:18Well, they're taking advantage of you.
06:20You ought to be ashamed of yourselves, running up a sweatshop.
06:23No, it's just relaxing, mindful.
06:28Well, for Christ's sake, Peter.
06:30Meanwhile, some young bucks in your school are taking your job.
06:33Great.
06:34They found someone.
06:35Oh, they found someone, right?
06:36Oh, you better believe it.
06:37Yeah, a right piece of work.
06:39The way he spoke to me, like I was shit on his shoes.
06:42I've seen power corrupt, but hoo-hoo, this Reynolds, he's something else.
06:49Miss Mansford.
06:50Mr Reynolds.
06:52Gus, please.
06:53Is it right if I call you Lucy?
06:55I thought you might like a little flat white.
06:59You're a paddle enthusiast.
07:01Me too.
07:03Well, I was actually thinking of getting some paddle equipment for the school,
07:06and it's not in the curriculum.
07:08Curriculums are flexible.
07:09Lucy, I think that's a great idea.
07:12If you're passionate about something, I will back you.
07:14You get that equipment ordered.
07:16Even give you a little game, yeah?
07:19Okay.
07:20Bye.
07:21I love you.
07:22I mean, I mean, thanks.
07:27We need you back, Skipper.
07:28But I've been signed off.
07:30Doctor says I need a break from work.
07:32Rubbish.
07:33Do you know how many head teachers I've worked under over the years
07:35that have had mental breakdowns?
07:36Hmm?
07:38All of them.
07:39I know another one.
07:40I see one.
07:41And you are not a nutter.
07:42I think people, myself included, find the word nutter extremely problematic.
07:49I've got no problem with it.
07:50It's very important for men to look after their mental health.
07:53Glokes don't have to talk about that sort of stuff, okay?
07:55Just bottle it up and get on with it.
07:57My dad never talked about his mental health.
07:59And he fought in the war.
08:01All right.
08:02He didn't like getting on boats.
08:04And didn't like loud noises.
08:06Had to keep him in the house on Guy Fawkes night with the dog.
08:09Sometimes we'll go on a bender for two or three weeks at a time.
08:15Never really spoke to me, mum or my sister.
08:19Never once slept through a whole night.
08:23But you know what?
08:24He never once complained.
08:26Stiff upper lip.
08:28Now, I know what you need to de-stress.
08:31I'd really rather stay here, Tony.
08:36What's wrong with your wrinkles?
08:39They're antique clock hands.
08:41Oh.
08:44That did it.
08:45Peter, why don't you and your friend finish up now and call it a day?
08:50Yeah, lovely.
08:51Cheers.
08:5818.
08:59Oh.
09:01Seems like only yesterday you were just little boys.
09:04Yeah.
09:05Mad how things change.
09:07Can you believe I'm your boss?
09:08No, auntie, ma'am.
09:09Don't ruin it, Nathan.
09:12Written down a few words to mark the occasion.
09:14Is Mammoth coming?
09:16I'm only here because he said I had to be.
09:18Theo.
09:1918 years ago,
09:22you were just a little tiny acorn.
09:26Look at you now.
09:28You have grown
09:29into a mighty oak.
09:31Thanks, Mum.
09:32Please stop.
09:33Yes.
09:35The mighty oak has a point.
09:37Sorry.
09:37There's a lot of emotion going on right now.
09:42Come here, you.
09:43Now, we are going to have an amazing time.
09:52Root for two more.
09:55Hello, sir.
09:57Hello, Theo.
09:58Many happy returns.
09:59Grandad, why have you brought my head teacher?
10:01I'm de-stressing him.
10:03Between us, he's had a massive mental breakdown.
10:06Gone a bit crack as if you skip.
10:08Well, I think you know everyone here, Mr Cowley.
10:11Except Harry.
10:13He's a stripper.
10:14Oh, you found the place.
10:15Good lad.
10:15Why did you hire me a male stripper?
10:18That was all they had left.
10:19It was that or nothing.
10:21Nothing would have been fine.
10:22So, do you want me to strip now, or...?
10:24Oh, no, no.
10:25No stripping today, thank you.
10:27But do you want to join us in the hedge maze?
10:29Oh, sure.
10:30I mean, you paid for the hour.
10:32Might as well.
10:32So, do you want me to strip in the maze, or...?
10:34No, keep your clothes on, Harry.
10:35I cannot stress that enough.
10:38It's the worst birthday ever.
10:40No, it's not.
10:41It's the best.
10:43Right, guys.
10:46First one to the middle is the championie!
10:48Come on!
10:51Sorry I didn't get you anything, Theo,
10:53but I didn't know I was going to be here until Mr Mammoth.
10:56Don't even worry about it.
10:57I get it.
10:57You can't smoke that in here.
10:59In where?
11:00Where outside?
11:01If you want my advice...
11:02If I wanted your advice,
11:03it'd be about being a bellend.
11:10Hey.
11:11Fun day out.
11:12Bit of fresh...
11:13I'd be raring to get back to work.
11:15Kick that cook out of your nest.
11:17All right.
11:18Try it again.
11:21Hey!
11:22School trip's back on!
11:24Come on!
11:27Let's go!
11:28Come on, kids!
11:33This is a dead end.
11:35Shouldn't we go back?
11:36No.
11:37It is good.
11:38I need a break from Mum,
11:39and I see I swear she's getting worse.
11:40Do you want me to say something to her at work?
11:43I can make it official.
11:45Verbal warning.
11:46No, thanks.
11:50Oh, there he is!
11:51It's a birthday boy.
11:53Hi, Mum.
11:54How'd you find me?
11:55I'm your mum.
11:56I always know where you are.
11:57It's a little thing called Mother's Intuition.
11:59Er, she put a tracking tile in your back pocket.
12:00Thanks a lot, Harry.
12:02Grass.
12:04OK.
12:05So now that we're all here together,
12:07let's focus on the maze.
12:10Which way, birthday boy?
12:11Don't care.
12:11Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
12:12Please, Mum.
12:13Catch a tiger by its tail.
12:14If we just get to the middle, we can go home.
12:16If the squeals let it go...
12:16Because I can't...
12:17I just can't do this anymore!
12:20What's the matter with you?
12:22Is it drugs?
12:25County lines.
12:26If you're in a gang, Theo, so help me.
12:27I'm just fed up of you treating me like a child.
12:30Or I'm 18 years old
12:31and I don't want you fussing over me anymore.
12:32I don't want to do the mother and son photo shoots.
12:35I hate hedge mazes.
12:37I'm going for a coffee.
12:38How am I supposed to get out of this place?
12:54Oh, we made it.
12:56Oh, yay.
12:58Championies.
13:01Oh, no!
13:08Found the middle, Skipper!
13:18I really don't think you should have chainsawed through the maze, Mr. Mamet.
13:21Bit late for that.
13:22What's wrong with you?
13:23Is it him?
13:25I've paid you to take your kit off, Harry.
13:26If she wants them off, they've got to come off.
13:28You can't be shy, pal.
13:30Not in your game.
13:31Come on.
13:31Nathan, no.
13:42Hey!
13:44I made you a coffee and a keep cup to take to school.
13:46Right.
13:47I've got your name on it in case you lose it.
13:49I know what you're like.
13:51OK, so shall I see you at pick-up?
13:53Yes, I came home.
13:54What?
13:55You can't walk home, not with your shin splints.
13:57The doctor's told you I don't have shin splints.
14:00I think I know my son's body better than any cheapie.
14:03God, I can look after myself, you know?
14:09Brilliant.
14:10Just brilliant.
14:11Don't be down on it yourself.
14:13Theo's a man now.
14:15He doesn't need you anymore.
14:17Sooner you leave home, then you've done your job.
14:19You can just sit down there and wait to retire.
14:22Maybe get a cat.
14:24I'm allergic to cats.
14:25Want a dog, then?
14:26Something.
14:26You'll need something to deal with the loneliness,
14:28because you will be lonely when Theo goes.
14:30My friend Paul, when his kids left home,
14:32he, er, bought a pet tiger.
14:34Raised it from a cub.
14:36They went everywhere together.
14:38Absolutely inseparable, they were.
14:40Then in 1976, they changed the law,
14:42and he had to get it destroyed.
14:44Yeah.
14:45So that's that, then.
14:46Skipper, in.
15:09Oh, hello again, Mr. Mammoth.
15:11Do you mean Peter?
15:12Everyone calls from Skipper.
15:14Shouldn't you be teaching?
15:15It's Tuesday morning.
15:16Don't worry about it.
15:17I've got it covered.
15:18Cast your minds back.
15:19The summer of 1977.
15:21The premier football of his generation,
15:23Mr. George Best,
15:24and the premier PE teacher of his generation,
15:26me, walk into Soho's famous Raymond Revue Bar,
15:30with a couple of absolute stunners.
15:34And I mean stunners.
15:36Well, I'm afraid he's gone fishing.
15:38He's been a bit tense since yesterday.
15:40Had a bit of a stressful day.
15:43Really?
15:44Something that's happened after I left.
15:47Just when I started to get him
15:48feeling like himself again,
15:49that's a shame.
15:51But don't you worry.
15:52Tony's gonna look after him.
15:54Hell, have you married us?
15:55I'm nutter.
15:56Eh, Mrs. C?
15:58See you later.
15:58Oh, my God.
16:28Oh, God.
16:53Ahoy, Skipper!
16:56Oh!
16:59Hey, hey!
17:02Tony?
17:03You're here?
17:04Of course I am!
17:05Hey, you don't need to thank me.
17:08Whoa!
17:10So, er, what are you fishing for?
17:12Mullet, actually.
17:13Look, I don't want to sound ungrateful,
17:14but really I'm here for the solitude.
17:16You and me both.
17:18What can be better, eh?
17:19Two likely lads out on the open lake
17:21doing a spot of fishing,
17:23shouldn't have that brain of yours sorted.
17:24Then you can march back in that school
17:26with your head held high
17:26and kick that pretender
17:28out of your throne.
17:30God only knows what he's up to right now.
17:32Well, when I, er,
17:35joined this, er, school,
17:38I didn't think I would
17:41really be able to
17:43fit in.
17:49All of you held me
17:51try to become the best version of myself.
17:54Oh, God.
18:01We need you back, Skipper.
18:03What use of a bait?
18:07Maggots.
18:08The man in the shop
18:09said they're the best for mullet.
18:10Woo-hoo-hoo!
18:11He saw you coming.
18:12They are rubbish.
18:14Nope, I've got just the thing.
18:16Now,
18:17if I remember correctly,
18:18the mullet
18:19is a very, very easily
18:21distracted fish.
18:22You must get their attention.
18:23That is why I always bring
18:25one of these.
18:27A good sharp blast
18:32on that every couple of seconds.
18:34They'll be flying
18:34into your net.
18:35Get in the water.
18:42Oh.
18:44I'm sure it was catching mullet.
18:47What a scaring bays.
18:48What a scaring bays.
18:57Oi!
18:58Sad case.
18:59How was your birthday party?
19:01I heard Cowley was there.
19:03Could you be any more tragic?
19:05You need to get a life,
19:06you wanker.
19:07Oi, Darren!
19:08If I wanted advice from you,
19:09it would be about being a bellend.
19:14What did you just say?
19:16Um,
19:18oh God,
19:20it's...
19:21distraction!
19:26One minute,
19:27they're a baby in your arms.
19:29Next minute,
19:29they don't need you any more.
19:32You got kids, Ashley?
19:34No.
19:35I'm 16.
19:36That's a shame.
19:37Mum!
19:39Help!
19:39No!
19:41Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
19:42What the bloody hell
19:43do you think you're doing?
19:44Get out of my way!
19:45I'm going to batter him.
19:45You should be ashamed
19:47of yourself, Darren Malone.
19:48I know who you are!
19:49I know your mum!
19:50She goes to my Zumba class!
19:52I recognise you
19:53from your trip to Disneyland.
19:55What are you talking about?
19:56Your mum shared a picture
19:57on the WhatsApp group.
19:58You were crying
19:59your little eyes out
20:00cos there was wasps
20:01all over your ice cream.
20:03I mean,
20:03it'd be a shame
20:04if one of those pictures
20:05ended up on another
20:05WhatsApp group,
20:06wouldn't it?
20:08Like a year 13 one.
20:09I'm in your tent.
20:11Whatever.
20:11Ay-yi-yi-yi!
20:12Don't mess with the Taekwondo, Darren.
20:16I did two weeks straight
20:17in 2022.
20:18I enjoyed it,
20:19but clashed with Theo's
20:20clarinet lessons,
20:21but...
20:22since I said
20:24I was a natural.
20:26You're weird.
20:27You're weird.
20:28Thanks, Mum.
20:39Oh, it's no biggie.
20:42So, do you
20:43want to go get
20:43a coffee together?
20:45No, can we just
20:45go home?
20:48Maybe then
20:48we can get that photo
20:49done together?
20:54Yes.
20:55I can't believe
20:57we didn't catch
20:57any fish.
20:59Well, I caught a few
20:59before you started
21:01getting the mullet's attention.
21:03Must be on the lake
21:04for, what,
21:04six hours?
21:05About that.
21:07Before the police
21:08turned up.
21:09Yeah.
21:09Anyway,
21:10my rope.
21:14It doesn't stop.
21:15There's no off switch.
21:17Roger,
21:17how do you do it?
21:19Roger?
21:22Sorry,
21:23what did you say?
21:24Mr. Mammoth.
21:25It's harder now
21:26than it was
21:27when I was at school.
21:29At least there
21:29he left at three.
21:30I didn't know
21:31what to do.
21:32How do you
21:32put up with him?
21:33It's harder
21:34in the past,
21:35but these days...
21:37Hearing aids?
21:38That's what
21:39Mammoth thinks, too.
21:40No.
21:41Roger Sennfeld.
21:43Absolute godsend.
21:44I'm currently
21:45listening to a playlist
21:46called
21:47Relaxing Rainforest.
21:49I just want him
21:50to respectfully
21:51go away.
21:53Ha!
21:53Good luck
21:55with that.
21:56I had a good run.
21:59Forty years
22:00without him.
22:04But then
22:04I always knew
22:05he'd come back.
22:08Godspeed,
22:09Peter.
22:09Right,
22:10here we go.
22:12Now,
22:12Skipper,
22:13I've been thinking
22:14about your old...
22:14Back in the day,
22:17when me or one of the boys
22:18fell a bit down,
22:19needed to just perk our spirits up,
22:20maybe unwind,
22:21blow off some steam,
22:22we'd have a big weekend away.
22:24And I mean
22:24a big weekend away.
22:26We're talking
22:27Magaluf,
22:28Las Vegas,
22:29Tenby.
22:30But whatever it takes,
22:31Skipper...
22:31Whatever it takes,
22:47I'm going to be there for you.
22:48Tony Mammoth
22:49is going to be
22:49by your side.
22:51Like a shadow.
22:52Like a shadow
22:53that's there all the time,
22:54even in the night time.
22:55Like a...
22:55Like a moon shadow.
22:57But not the Cat Stevens.
22:58Oh, God,
22:58I can't do this.
22:59OK.
23:00OK,
23:00I'll come back to school.
23:02Please,
23:03leave me alone.
23:05Good man.
23:06Well done.
23:06Well done, you.
23:07Well done, us.
23:08What a team.
23:09What a team.
23:11Cheers.
23:20Now,
23:20I'm sure we're all grateful
23:21for the wonderful job
23:22Mr Reynolds has done,
23:24but I am returning
23:25full-time
23:26as of today.
23:28Three cheers for the Skipper.
23:30Hip, hip.
23:33Thank you,
23:34Mr Mammoth.
23:37Now,
23:38there's some good news
23:39and some bad.
23:41I'm afraid
23:41I'm going to have to reverse
23:42a number of the projects
23:44undertaken
23:44in my absence,
23:46including
23:47returning the new
23:48paddle equipment.
23:49You've got to be kidding me.
23:50The good news,
23:51we have managed to find
23:52the resources
23:53to refresh
23:54the sand
23:56in the long jump
23:57pit.
23:58Any questions?
24:02No?
24:03Great.
24:04Welcome back, Skipper.
24:06Welcome back.
24:07Should I top up the car, sir?
24:21Cheers, babe.
24:21Yes, sir.
24:22Can't I just
24:23practice my long jump, sir?
24:25Obviously not.
24:26Because when the sun's out,
24:28just run about, remember?
24:29Cheers.
24:30Cheers.
24:30Skipper!
24:42Don't want to think
24:43about Sports Day.
24:44I think we need to bring
24:45back metal javelins.
24:47I'm not going to break
24:47any records
24:48with phone ones.
24:48Great.
25:04Bitch, baby,
25:05bitch, baby,
25:06give me your hand,
25:07give me something
25:08that I can remember
25:10Just like before
25:12we could walk
25:13by the shore
25:14of the moonlight
25:15Beach, baby,
25:19beach, baby,
25:20there on the sand
25:21from July
25:22to the end
25:23of September
25:24Sermon was fun
25:26with the hour
25:27and the sun
25:28every day
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