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The Mel Blanc Show was a radio situation comedy in the United States. It was broadcast on CBS from September 3, 1946 to June 24, 1947.
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00:00The Mel Blank Show
00:30The Mel Blank Show
00:32With Mel playing his new character, Zookie
00:33Hello everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody
00:37Hi
00:39And starring himself in person, Mel Blank
00:43Hi folks, ugga, ugga, boo, ugga, boo, boo, ugga
00:46Well, it's close to Thanksgiving
00:52And in Mel Blank's little town, courageous suitors are taking advantage of the holiday spirit
00:57To approach prospective fathers-in-law on a delicate subject
01:00In one house where Sam Green has asked Mr. Brown if he may marry his daughter
01:04Mr. Brown is saying
01:05Sam Green, I'm going to set the date next week
01:07And in another house where Henry Adams has asked Mr. Jones if he may marry his daughter
01:11Mr. Jones is saying
01:13Henry Adams, I'm going to make you a junior partner in my firm
01:16And in the Colby house where Mel Blank has asked Mr. Colby if he may marry his daughter Betty
01:21Mr. Colby is saying
01:23Mel Blank, I'm going to break every bone in your body
01:25Now it's Thanksgiving Eve
01:35And in order to get in Mr. Colby's good graces again
01:38Mel Blank is holding a Thanksgiving party in his fix-it shop
01:41He has invited a few of his friends for Thanksgiving dinner
01:44Right now we find Mel and his girl Betty setting the table
01:47Knife, plate, fork
01:50Knife, plate, fork
01:52Knife, fork
01:55Mel, those were the last two plates
02:01Now what'll you do?
02:02Oh, don't worry
02:03Knife, piece of plate, fork
02:05Knife, piece of plate, fork
02:07Gosh, what a beautiful table
02:10Yes, there's the celery stalks, stuffed olives, candied yams, cranberry sauce, all the fixings
02:16And in the center, that great, big, beautiful 15-pound salami
02:21But Mel, Father will be awfully mad
02:25He's expecting turkey
02:26Oh, I took care of that
02:27I scooped out the center of the salami
02:29And I stuffed it with chestnut dressing
02:31And besides, Betty, what difference does it make?
02:34Salami or turkey
02:35It's the spirit of Thanksgiving that counts
02:37But Mel...
02:38Anyway, the orphan's home needed the turkey much more than I did
02:41Oh, darling, I love you for giving the turkey to the orphan's home
02:44You always were a softie for children
02:46Well, Betty, you know how I feel about us
02:48Someday we'll get married and we'll have a little two-room house
02:52Yes, then after a while we'll add another room
02:59Betty, I refuse to have your father live with us
03:02Darling, I mean children
03:06After we get married, there's no reason why we can't have three, four, or five
03:10Yeah, and if we like them, the next year we'll have some more
03:13Well, if Dad gets mad at you for not having turkey, I'm going to tell him why
03:22Oh, uh, that's another thing, Betty
03:24I don't want you to tell your father anything
03:26Don't tell anybody
03:27I did it, I'm glad I did it
03:29But I don't have to advertise it
03:31Ah, that's the nicest thing I ever heard, darling
03:33For that, I'm going to give you a great big kiss
03:36Well, they'll say something
03:45Such a kiss for a 15-pound turkey?
03:48Yes
03:49Gosh, I wish it had been 50 pounds
03:50Well, if it isn't our large secretary, Earl Ross
03:54Hey, how are you feeling, Brother Ross?
03:56Ah, potato salad
03:58Oh, yeah, Betty made it
04:00Say, why don't you try some?
04:01Well, just a small plate
04:02I don't want to spoil my appetite
04:04Mmm, delicious
04:10Pass the olives, Mel
04:19No, not the green one
04:21There's a pitch over green one
04:22Say, uh, why don't you have another sandwich?
04:27No, thanks, I've already had two
04:29I've already had four, but who's counting?
04:33Come on, have another one
04:34Oh, here comes Father, Mel
04:35Say, who's that fellow with him?
04:37Oh, that's Willie Murdoch
04:38Father just hired him to manage the supermarket
04:40He's rather nice
04:42Rather nice?
04:44Betty, have you gone out with him?
04:45Well, Father insisted that I go to the movies with him last night
04:48You and Willie at the movies?
04:50Dark places?
04:52Betty, why didn't you tell me?
04:54Well, darling, it's Thanksgiving and I didn't want to upset you
04:57Now, you be nice to him
04:58Huh
04:58Hello, Mel
05:00Happy Thanksgiving
05:02Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Colby
05:05Oh, Mel, I want you to meet my new manager, Willie Murdoch
05:08Hello, Mr. Murdoch
05:09Hello, Blank
05:11Heard a lot about you from Mr. Colby
05:13Don't let it get you down
05:15Willie, this is Mr. Ross
05:17Secretary of our loyal order of benevolent zebras
05:20Mr. Ross is a very good friend of mine
05:23Oh, well, Mr. Colby
05:25Any good friend of yours is a good friend of mine
05:27Pleased to meet you, Mr. Ross
05:28Pass your muster
05:30You know, this is a very nice fix-it shop you got here, Blank
05:43But I've got a couple of ideas to improve it
05:45First of all, it's too stuffy in here
05:47Well, it could use a little air conditioning
05:49Blank, you can't condition this air
05:51You gotta get rid of it
05:52And next, you take down that picture of the city dump on the wall
05:57Murdoch, that's no picture
05:59You're looking through the window
06:00Oh, well
06:02Oh, I see Miss Colby is unattached
06:04Better go over and attach myself
06:06Get it?
06:10Thanksgiving
06:10Why couldn't the Pilgrim Fathers have landed on him?
06:15Oh, Miss Zookie
06:16Hello, Zookie
06:17Happy Thanksgiving
06:17Oh, hello, happy Thanksgiving
06:20Happy Thanksgiving
06:21Merry Christmas
06:24Hello, Zookie
06:27Oh, hello
06:28Betty
06:30Thanks
06:32Say, how do you like my new dress, Zookie?
06:36Ooh
06:37Oh, gosh, Betty, you're the most beautiful
06:42You're the quintessence of lovely
06:45You're the acme of
06:48Oh, by the way, Zookie
06:59I got a letter from my cousin Dottie
07:01And a new picture of her
07:02Here, look
07:03Cousin Dottie is so shy and sweet and coy
07:10What do you think of her bathing suit?
07:17Zookie, can I get you a little something before dinner?
07:19What would you like?
07:20I'd like some potatoes here
07:22I'd like some
07:23Some candy there
07:26I'd like that picture of Dottie
07:30Say, Betty
07:33Did you know that Mel invited us here for Thanksgiving dinner
07:36And there's no turkey?
07:38Well, you're right, Mr. Colby
07:39Mel invited us for Thanksgiving dinner
07:40And there's no turkey
07:41Why, Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving without turkey
07:45That's exactly my thought, Mr. Colby
07:47Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving without turkey
07:49Huh
07:49This guy can easily be replaced with a sheet of carbon paper
07:53I tell you this is preposterous
07:57Zookie, where's Mel?
07:58Oh, he went back to the kitchen
08:00Oh
08:00Well, I want to talk to him
08:02And Murdoch
08:03Uh, Willie
08:04You take care of Betty
08:05Oh, well, if you say so, Mr. Colby
08:07Anything you say goes, Mr. Colby
08:08I'm your boy, Mr. Colby
08:10You know you can count on me, Mr. Colby
08:12Ha, ha, ha
08:12Ha, ha, ha
08:14Uh, uh, Mel is in a jam again
08:16I gotta go and explain everything
08:18I gotta go and warn it
08:21I gotta go and it's the tip of my eyes
08:24Ha, ha, ha
08:25I gotta go
08:26Well, Mel Blanc is giving a Thanksgiving party in his fix-it shop
08:39To get in the good graces of his girl's father, Mr. Colby
08:41But so far, everything is going wrong
08:44Mr. Colby is mad because there's no turkey
08:46Willie Murdoch, the new supermarket manager, is making a play for Mel's girl
08:50Right now, the party is in full swing
08:52But we find Mel disconsolately talking to Betty's kid brother, Tommy
08:56In the corner of the shop
08:57Boy, is my dad so it's you, Mel
09:00Yeah, Tommy, and I gave this party just to make an impression on him
09:03What can I do to please your father?
09:06Mel, I know something you can do that'll surely please him
09:09You do? What is it?
09:11No, you're too young to die
09:13Oh, anyway, my pop is mad at you for having salami instead of a turkey at this party
09:19Yeah, I know
09:20Mel, why don't you tell my pop you gave the turkey to the orphans' home?
09:24Oh, you keep out of this, Tommy
09:25The reason I'm not saying anything is because this year
09:28Your father forgot to give them a turkey himself
09:30And if I said anything about it, it would only embarrass him
09:33Oh
09:34Oh, Mel, here comes our large pleasure to meet the cuisine
09:37Good, I'll go over and welcome him
09:41Holiday greetings, Brother Blank
09:44Greetings, mighty potentate
09:51How are things?
09:54Wonderful, happiest Thanksgiving I ever had
09:56And where's the wife?
09:58Home in bed with laryngitis
09:59Happiest Thanksgiving I ever had
10:03Gee, that's too bad, how's she feeling?
10:06Darn that penicillin
10:08Say, how did she get laryngitis?
10:13Well, Mel, we went to the UCLA-USC football game
10:15Little woman went completely berserk
10:17Kept screaming her head off
10:19She did?
10:20Yeah, it was the first opportunity she ever had
10:21To yell at 22 men all at once
10:24You mean now she can't talk at all?
10:27Not a word
10:28She just lies there in bed and hisses
10:31Empty the garbage pail
10:35Shake out the carpet sweep
10:36Or clean up the kitchen
10:37I wish she wouldn't tell me what to do
10:40I have my own system for doing the housework
10:43Gosh, Mr. Cushing, it must be tough living with your wife
10:49Mel, if you only knew
10:50Last night we went out and she said
10:53Look at me, John, I'm dressed up to kill
10:56Gad, what a temptation
10:58I'll tell you, Mel
11:07I'd leave that woman in a minute
11:09If she didn't have all that money
11:10I don't know why I'm standing here
11:14Telling you all this
11:15It's just that I've got no one to talk to
11:19Oh, cheer up, Mr. Cushing
11:23When you get your wife a Christmas present
11:25Everything will be okay
11:26Well, she's already hinted about a present
11:28She wants some beauty aid
11:30Ha!
11:37Now, now, Mr. Cushing, after all
11:39Beauty is only skin deep
11:40Mel, she's already been peeled
11:43The nerve of that woman
11:47She asked me for a beauty makeup kit
11:50Well, what are you going to get her?
11:51With her face, a box of Dr. Scholl's footpants
11:54Nothing help that woman, Mel
11:58Well, I have to let you in for another disappointment, mighty potentate
12:02I haven't any turkey
12:04What a relief
12:05You're happy not to see a turkey?
12:08Mel, are you forgetting?
12:09I've been looking at my wife all day
12:11Well, on to the party
12:14Oh, I see Brother Colby here
12:15Greetings, Brother Colby
12:16Aga, aga, aga, aga, aga, aga
12:18Oh, greetings, mighty potentate
12:20Aga, aga, aga, aga, aga, aga, aga
12:21And there's Brother Ross
12:23Greetings, Brother Ross
12:24Aga, aga, aga, aga, aga, aga, aga
12:25Aga, aga, aga, aga, aga, aga, aga, aga
12:27Pass us all, aga
12:28And little Tommy
12:32Aga, aga, aga, aga, aga
12:33All right, Mr. Cushing, all right
12:35Well, I'm sorry
12:36I sort of run away with my gaboos, aga
12:38All right, come on, everybody
12:41Let's all have fun
12:43Does anybody want to hear me impersonate Charles Boyer?
12:48All right, I'll sing a song
12:49Anybody hear the story about the cop in Brooklyn?
12:52Shall I sing now?
12:54Mel, you've never heard this story before
12:56Is it about the cop finding the dead horse on Kosciusko Avenue?
13:01Uh-huh
13:01And he can't say Kosciusko so he moves the horse to Main Street?
13:04Shall I sing now?
13:08No!
13:10I'll tell another one
13:11And I know you don't know this story
13:12Now, a fellow was having soup in a restaurant
13:15And he called over the head waiter
13:16See here, sir, he exclaimed
13:17There's a fly in this soup
13:19And what do you think the head waiter said?
13:20Did he say, what do you want for a diamond elephant?
13:25Yes, and I wish you'd drop dead
13:26I'll try one more story now
13:29All right, everybody quiet now
13:30Mr. Colby's gonna try one more story
13:32Go ahead, Mr. Colby
13:33Now, everybody keep quiet
13:34Thanks, Murdoch, thanks
13:35Well, it seems a man in a restaurant
13:39Called the waitress over
13:40And said, my cocoa is cold
13:42Well, replied the waitress
13:43If your cocoa is cold
13:45Put your hat on it
13:47Oh, very funny
13:49Very, very funny
13:51Shall I sing now, Mr. Colby?
13:55I've had enough from you, Mel Blanc
13:57You've ruined my entire evening
13:59His entire evening?
14:00Father, let's all
14:01And you've got a nerve inviting people to a Thanksgiving party
14:03And not even having any turkey
14:05Yeah, not having any turkey
14:06But, Father
14:07Hey, when do we eat?
14:08I'm thawed
14:09That's a good idea
14:11Come on, Father, let's eat
14:12Oh, all right
14:14Okay, everybody, sit down now
14:16This is fine, thanks
14:18This food looks wonderful
14:20No home cooking
14:22Well, everybody seated?
14:24Yeah, let's go
14:25Okay
14:26I'll carve the salami
14:28Who wants a leg?
14:31I do
14:32I do
14:32I do
14:33Everybody wants a leg
14:35I should have gotten an octopus
14:36I'd rather have turkey
14:39Colby, will you stop?
14:41Everyone knows salami is much safer than turkey
14:44Safer?
14:44Yeah, it's no bones
14:46Oh
14:46Well, Tommy, what part do you want?
14:49I want the part that goes over the counter last
14:51And how about you, Brother Ross?
14:54Well, I don't know
14:55I'm losing my appetite
14:56Just give me the dark meat
15:02Salami is all dark meat
15:05That's what I said
15:06Just give me the dark meat
15:07Oh, Murdoch
15:11What part do you want?
15:14I always let Mr. Colby choose first
15:16All right, Mr. Colby
15:17What part would you like?
15:19Oh, this has gone too far
15:20I refuse to sit here and be made a fool of
15:22Oh, but Mr. Colby
15:23Now, this can't go on any longer
15:25I'm going to tell Father
15:26Betty, please
15:27Tell me why
15:28Why we haven't any turkey tonight
15:30Oh, come in
15:32Is Mr. Blank here?
15:34I'm Mel Blank, little boy
15:35Mr. Blank, I'm from the orphan's home
15:37I brought you a piece of your turkey
15:38You did?
15:40Yes
15:40It tasted so good
15:41All the boys wanted you to have some
15:42They wanted me to tell you
15:44How much they appreciated you
15:45Remembering them on Thanksgiving Day
15:47Gee, thanks
15:48They also asked me to give a message
15:49From all the boys at the home
15:51Do you mind if I give it?
15:52No, no, go ahead
15:53Two, four, six, eight
15:55Who do we appreciate?
15:56Mel Blank, Mel Blank, hooray!
15:59Thanks a lot
16:00So long, Mr. Blank
16:01So long
16:01Gee, wasn't that sweet?
16:04Mel
16:04You gave your turkey to the orphanage?
16:07Oh, why didn't you tell us about it?
16:09Well, you're right again, Mr. Colby
16:11Mel Blank, why didn't you tell us?
16:12Oh, shut up!
16:13Well, Mel
16:22He didn't want to tell you
16:24Because you forgot to give your turkey this year
16:27What?
16:27Well, I always give a turkey to the orphanage
16:29In fact, I told Willie Murdoch
16:31Murdoch, didn't you deliver that...
16:34Mr. Colby, it slipped my mind
16:37Oh, it did
16:37Murdoch, come here
16:38I'm gonna break every bone in your body
16:41Quiet, everybody
16:42Mr. Colby's gonna break every bone in his body
16:44Gee, it sounds good on somebody else
16:47Oh, forget it, Mr. Colby
16:49It's Thanksgiving
16:50Let's forgive
16:50Yes, you're right, Mel
16:53Yeah, let's forgive and let's eat
16:55All right, here
16:57Sit next to me, Mel, my son
16:59Thanks, Pop
17:00Oh, nothing like the smell of salami on Thanksgiving
17:06Yeah, you see, Betty
17:08It's like I said
17:09What difference does it make?
17:11Salami or turkey?
17:13It's the spirit of Thanksgiving that counts
17:15This is Mel Blanc saying
17:25Happy Thanksgiving
17:26And that's all, folks
17:28This is Bud Houston
17:36Reminding you that Colgate tooth powder
17:37For a breath of sweet
17:38And Keith the Sparkle
17:39Brings you the Mel Blanc show
17:40Every Tuesday at this time
17:41Be sure to join us again next Tuesday night
17:43For more fun with Mel
17:44And the people you'll meet
17:45In Mel Blanc's Fix-It Shop
17:47Thank you
17:48Thank you
17:49Thank you
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