- 11 hours ago
"Ghosts always get the last laugh" is the iconic opening warning from the host on the classic 1940s radio show Inner Sanctum Mysteries. It serves as a central theme for episodes exploring guilt, wherein murderers are relentlessly haunted and driven to madness by the spectral, mocking laughter of their dead victims.
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00:09Good evening, friends of the Inner Sanctum.
00:12This is your host to welcome you through the squeaking door.
00:17Well, been shopping around for a nice case of murder?
00:22Of course you have.
00:24Well, and you've come to the right place because the characters on this program simply kill themselves to keep you
00:31amused.
00:32Why, only the other day we were accused of making murder our business.
00:36But we wouldn't do that, friends.
00:39Oh, no.
00:40Because that would be mixing business with pleasure.
00:43And we consider it a pleasure to give some stiff the business.
00:57And now, friends, tonight's story is a triangle tale concerning a man, a woman, and a murderer.
01:06You've heard it said that those who laugh last laugh best.
01:10But we're going to prove that it never pays to get into a laughing contest with a ghost.
01:17Because ghosts always get the last laugh.
01:28I know he's dead.
01:30His body has been in the grave for weeks.
01:34Yet, although I tell myself it's impossible, I can hear him laugh.
01:41That raucous, mocking sound haunts me.
01:45The same laugh I heard for the first time in the courtroom.
01:49He had never laughed during all the weeks of the trial.
01:53Never even smiled.
01:55This day, when he came before me for sentencing.
02:02John Spencer, you have been found guilty of murder in the first degree.
02:07You wish to make a statement before sentence is imposed?
02:11I killed Hicks.
02:13I'm willing to admit it now.
02:15But he was no good.
02:16He got just what he deserved.
02:19And everybody knows it.
02:21I'm not a killer.
02:22I never committed a crime before.
02:24And all I ask now is a chance.
02:26John Spencer, the jury took all that into consideration when it recommended life imprisonment.
02:33However, I have the power to ignore that recommendation.
02:37It is my firm conviction that to allow one man to take the law into his own hands is to
02:43encourage others to do likewise.
02:45I, therefore, override the recommendation of the jury and sentence you to be hung by the neck until dead.
02:54No.
02:55Judge, please.
02:56I've got a girl.
02:57We were going to be married.
02:59All I ask is to live so I can see her once in a while.
03:01You should have thought of that before you committed murder.
03:05It's easy for you to tell me what I should have done.
03:08But you won't always be on top.
03:11Maybe someday you'll be down here where I am.
03:15When that happens, I hope they throw the book at you just like you're doing to me.
03:18Caleb, remove the prisoner.
03:20Won't I be laughing when that happens?
03:22Wherever I am, I'll be laughing bit to buzz.
03:34Same old story.
03:37Prisoner pleads innocent so guilty with good cause.
03:41Asks mercy.
03:42When clemency is refused, condemned man curses judge and hopes that judge will someday find himself in a similar plight.
03:50Spencer's outburst failed to move me in the slightest.
03:54I'd heard it many times before.
03:57I went home.
03:58You forget about the Spencer case.
04:08Richard?
04:09Is that you, Richard?
04:11Yes, dear.
04:12I'll come in as soon as I've freshened up.
04:14Come right now.
04:15I've been waiting here all day.
04:18Surely it's not too much to ask.
04:20All right.
04:20All right, Laura.
04:21I'm coming.
04:24Richard, I want you to meet my new nurse.
04:26Margaret Cummings.
04:27This is Judge Thornton, Miss Cummings.
04:29How do you do?
04:31Miss Cummings?
04:33Haven't we met before?
04:35That's hardly likely.
04:37It's probably my face.
04:39It's so ordinary.
04:41On the contrary, Miss Cummings.
04:43I should say your face is rather unusual.
04:45Richard, suppose you stop that silly chatter about faces and talk to Miss Cummings about her duty.
04:49Very well.
04:51Come into my study, Miss Cummings.
04:52We can talk better there.
05:00Now, sit down, please.
05:03There's not much to say, really.
05:07In the first place, my wife's heart condition isn't really dangerous.
05:10Yes, I gathered that from Dr. Fletcher.
05:13Oh, you told you about my wife, eh?
05:15Oh, yes.
05:16You're a professional person, nurse, and I believe in frankness.
05:20It makes things easier.
05:21My wife is 11 years my senior, getting on past middle age.
05:26She, uh, is a bit worried.
05:30Not that I give her any grounds for it.
05:33Jealous.
05:35You understand?
05:37Perfectly.
05:38She's not an easy person to get along with.
05:41You'll have to humor her.
05:43I'll do my best.
05:45And, uh, Miss Cummings.
05:47Yes?
05:49I was just wondering where it was that I saw you before.
05:54Escapes me.
05:56You know, Miss Cummings,
05:58your face is rather...
06:01haunting.
06:08That was how it began.
06:11We played a game during those first few weeks.
06:14I would ask...
06:17Miss Cummings,
06:18where was it that I first saw you?
06:21Don't you remember yet?
06:22No, I don't.
06:24Well, I do.
06:26And someday, if you're nice,
06:28I'll tell you.
06:32We would laugh together.
06:35Having the girl in the house made me feel young again.
06:38But it didn't last.
06:41It ended one evening in Laura's room.
06:43Richard.
06:44Yes, dear?
06:45Put down that newspaper.
06:46I want to talk to you.
06:48I'm listening.
06:49Don't you think you're going a bit too far, Richard?
06:52Too far?
06:53What do you mean?
06:54I mean Miss Cummings.
06:56Oh.
06:56I won't stand for it.
06:58I won't allow you to disgrace me in my own home
07:00with a woman who's little more than a servant.
07:02Oh, Laura, for heaven's sake.
07:03I may be a bedridden invalid,
07:04but there is a limit.
07:05You're jumping to ridiculous conclusions, Laura.
07:07Ridiculous, am I?
07:08I suppose you'll deny you're in love with Miss Cummings,
07:10that you've been carrying on with her right under my nose.
07:12Certainly I'll deny it.
07:13I've got eyes, Richard.
07:15I've seen you two whispering together.
07:16I've watched how you look at her.
07:17Oh, you're talking utter nonsense.
07:19There's nothing between me and Miss Cummings.
07:20Nothing?
07:21Nothing.
07:21Absolutely nothing.
07:22Well, then.
07:23I'll give you a chance to prove what you say.
07:26I don't want Miss Cummings here.
07:29Dismiss her.
07:30You want me to dismiss her?
07:32Yes, Richard.
07:33I do.
07:39Miss Cummings, I...
07:41Well, this is going to be rather unpleasant.
07:45You see my wife...
07:47Yes, I know.
07:48She wants me to leave.
07:50Yes.
07:52How did you know?
07:53I couldn't help overhearing the conversation.
07:55Well, then you also know why she wants you to leave.
07:58Yes.
07:59But you warned me when I first came here that she was jealous.
08:03It's been...
08:05very pleasant having you here.
08:10I'm going to miss you.
08:13Miss Cummings, could I have your home address?
08:16Of course.
08:17Miss Cummings, why do you want it?
08:20I hope you won't think me presumptuous, but...
08:25Well...
08:26Perhaps we might be able to see each other.
08:29Would that be wise?
08:30No, it wouldn't be wise.
08:33But I might as well face it.
08:34I couldn't hide it from Laura, and...
08:36No, I can't hide it from myself.
08:41I love you, Miss Cummings.
08:55That's not a hurt Spencer's laugh for the first time since the day in the courtroom.
08:59I set it down as a picture of the imagination born out of a feeling of guilt due to my
09:03disloyalty to Laura.
09:05I put it out of my mind.
09:07I had other things to think about.
09:10The slip of paper with Margaret Cummings' address on it was in my pocket.
09:14A dozen times during the next week I picked the telephone to call her, but...
09:19something held me back.
09:21It was fear, I guess.
09:24Fear that if I saw her again...
09:26I would be taking a final, irrevocable step.
09:29And then I couldn't stand it any longer without seeing her.
09:32I dialed her number.
09:40Hello?
09:42Is that you, Margaret?
09:44Yes, who is this?
09:46This is Richard.
09:47Richard?
09:48Judge Thornton.
09:49Oh, hello, how are you?
09:51It's been so long, I thought you'd forgotten me.
09:54There's little chance of that.
09:57Could I see you tonight, Margaret?
10:00Why, yes, of course.
10:02Come over as soon as you like.
10:10I dressed carefully.
10:12Examining myself in the mirror, I saw a tall man, still on the right side of 50.
10:17Still trim in figure and distinguished in appearance.
10:20When I got to Margaret's apartment, my heart was beating fast.
10:24Like a boy on his first date.
10:28Somehow, I don't know quite how it happened.
10:32She was in my arms.
10:34I was kissing her.
10:38Oh, Richard.
10:41My darling.
10:44Oh, no, we're being foolish.
10:46Sit down, darling.
10:48Yeah, beside me.
10:51Like this?
10:52That's perfect.
10:56Margaret.
10:58Would you marry me?
11:00Mary?
11:01You can't be serious.
11:04I was never more in earnest in my life.
11:06Aren't you forgetting a little detail?
11:09No.
11:10I'm not forgetting about Laura.
11:12She has a weak heart.
11:13She may die.
11:15And if she dies...
11:16I wouldn't count on it.
11:17Your wife takes very good care of herself.
11:19She may live to be a hundred.
11:21But if she should die, would you marry me?
11:25I don't know.
11:28It's not fair to ask me now.
11:30Not while your wife is still alive.
11:34Ask me.
11:36Later.
11:43Oh, Richard.
11:45Do you have a pleasant evening at the club?
11:48I didn't go to the club, Laura.
11:50No?
11:51No.
11:52I lied to you.
11:55I spent the evening with Margaret Cummings.
11:57Richard.
11:57You were right.
11:58I'm in love with her.
12:00I never knew what love meant before.
12:03I can't live without her.
12:04You're mad.
12:05You don't know what you're saying.
12:06I want a divorce, Laura.
12:07Divorce?
12:08No.
12:08I want it immediately.
12:09You can't do this to me.
12:11Oh.
12:12Oh, my heart.
12:13What?
12:14Now see what you've done.
12:15Laura.
12:16Oh, the shock.
12:19My pills, Richard.
12:21Give them to me.
12:22Hurry.
12:23Hurry, Richard.
12:24I knew she was pretending the heart attack.
12:27Oh, Richard.
12:28Hoping to play on my sympathy.
12:30That was Laura's favorite trick.
12:33It always worked before.
12:35Not this time.
12:37This time I would pretend until I was ready to act.
12:41I gave her the pills.
12:42Watched her take them and sink back in the pillow.
12:44Oh.
12:46Thank you, Richard.
12:48Feel better now?
12:49Yes, dear.
12:50Much better.
12:51I don't know what I'd have done without you here.
12:55I would have died.
12:57Oh, Richard, say you didn't mean what you said before.
13:00Don't you see?
13:01I couldn't go on living without you.
13:03You won't have to, Laura.
13:05Then you won't leave me for that girl.
13:07I'll take care of you.
13:09Here.
13:10Let me make you more comfortable.
13:13Pillow needs rearranging.
13:14Yes, it does.
13:16Richard, what are you doing?
13:17I'm fixing the pillow.
13:19I can't even say it.
13:20I still...
13:22Stop twisting around.
13:27This is much different from a heart attack.
13:41Laura?
13:44She's dead.
13:59Hello?
14:01Dr. Fletcher?
14:02Yes.
14:03This is Judge Thornton.
14:04Please come quickly, doctor.
14:06My wife has had a...
14:07a heart attack.
14:16Happened during an argument.
14:18It was nothing important, doctor.
14:21Just a domestic quarrel.
14:24And suddenly she had the attack.
14:26I gave her the pills, but by that...
14:28Well, by that time it was too late.
14:30It's too bad.
14:31I'd only known that a condition had become so dangerous...
14:33Oh, Judge, you've nothing to reproach yourself for.
14:36These things happen.
14:38Will you take care of the formalities, doctor?
14:41Oh, yes, of course.
14:42The...
14:43the death certificate?
14:45I'll list the cause as...
14:47failure of the heart.
14:53There was no need to act the part of the stricken husband...
14:55after Dr. Fletcher left.
14:58I stood looking down at Laura's body.
15:02She was dead.
15:04And Dr. Fletcher's certificate would clear me of any suspicion of murder.
15:08I was free.
15:11Free to marry Margaret.
15:30I walked to Margaret's apartment that night.
15:34The street was dark.
15:37Empty.
15:39I had the uncomfortable feeling that I was being watched.
15:42Followed.
15:44Then I heard footsteps behind me.
15:46I hurried my pace.
15:48The man behind me did likewise.
15:51Frightened as I was, I decided to stop and confront the follower.
15:54He came toward me.
15:56His face and figure shadowy in the dark.
15:59What do you want?
16:00Why are you following me?
16:02You ought to know, Judge Thornton.
16:05Who are you?
16:06Come closer so I can...
16:08Spencer.
16:11John Spencer.
16:13It can't be.
16:15You're dead.
16:16Dead am I.
16:18Well, you ought to know, Judge.
16:32Now, take it easy, mister.
16:34Take it easy, darling.
16:35Just tell me what happened.
16:36I was being followed, officer.
16:37So I turned around to see who it was.
16:39And did you see who it was?
16:40Yes.
16:41And that's why I fainted.
16:43The man following me was a dead man.
16:44He was a...
16:45What's that?
16:46The man following me is dead.
16:47I know he's dead, officer.
16:49I ought to run you in.
16:51You're crazy.
16:58I had intended to tell Margaret that Laura was dead.
17:01I meant to ask her to marry me.
17:03But the encounter on the street drove those thoughts out of my mind.
17:08Arriving at her apartment, I went directly to the window and looked out.
17:11And there, across the street, leaning against the wall, I saw John Spencer.
17:17Richard, I'm insulted.
17:19What?
17:20You didn't kiss me.
17:21You haven't even said hello.
17:23I'm sorry, dear.
17:24But that man across the street, he can't be real.
17:29And yet, if he isn't...
17:31What man, Richard?
17:33Don't you see him?
17:34No, there's no one across the street.
17:38He was there a moment ago.
17:40I turned my head to talk to you and...
17:43Now he's gone.
17:44Darling, you're trembling.
17:47You must be sick.
17:49Don't look at me like that.
17:50Richard, what's the matter?
17:51I...
17:52I guess I am sick.
17:54I'd better go and have a talk with Dr. Fletcher.
18:01Yes, I remember the Spencer case very well, Judge Thornton.
18:04You could have spared Spencer's life, but didn't.
18:09And now you imagine that he follows you?
18:12Yes.
18:13But the man is dead.
18:15And it was his ghost that followed me.
18:17His ghost I spoke to.
18:18His ghost that laughs.
18:19There are no ghosts, Judge Thornton.
18:22With one exception.
18:24The ghosts we carry about inside us.
18:26What do you mean?
18:27Well, these things you hear and see,
18:30these are hallucinations brought on by feelings of guilt.
18:34Spencer's been dead for weeks.
18:36So the question is,
18:38why should you experience guilt feelings at this late date?
18:42I don't know.
18:43Well, psychiatry has an explanation.
18:45Quite often in such cases,
18:47one refuses to face the guilt object
18:49and transfers his guilt feelings
18:52to some other person.
18:54What are you driving at?
18:55I'm suggesting that your guilt feelings
18:57are not caused by the Spencer incident.
19:00And I'm going to ask you a blunt question.
19:03Did you murder your wife?
19:05Why of all the idiotic...
19:06Now, just a moment, Judge.
19:07Just a moment.
19:08I've been rather uneasy about the circumstances
19:10of Mrs. Thornton's death.
19:12But you yourself diagnosed it as a heart attack.
19:14I accepted what you told me that night.
19:17A superficial examination of the body
19:19did indicate such a conclusion, yes.
19:20But your wife's cardiac condition was mild.
19:24Now, your guilt feelings lead me to suspect...
19:27This murder talk is ridiculous.
19:29Were there any signs of struggle?
19:30Any marks of violence?
19:31Of course not.
19:32Mrs. Thornton might have been suffocating.
19:35Oh, nonsense.
19:36Perhaps.
19:37At any rate, I intend to recommend to the coroner
19:39that an autopsy be performed.
19:40An autopsy?
19:41Yes, it would determine whether or not
19:43death was due to suffocation.
19:45You should have no objection, if I am mistaken.
19:47You meddling fool.
19:49Judge Thornton, put down that paper.
19:51You are so clever.
19:52Stay away from me.
19:55I've gone too far now to stop at another...
20:02I'd lost my head.
20:04I should have agreed to the autopsy.
20:06That would have given me a day or two
20:07in which to plan my escape.
20:09But now as things were,
20:10it would be only a matter of hours
20:11before Fletcher's body was discovered.
20:14My thoughts twisted and turned in panic.
20:16Maybe someday you'll be down here where I am.
20:20Won't I be laughing when that happens?
20:24Wherever I am, I'll be laughing fit to bust.
20:33I ran.
20:34Ran like a frightened child.
20:36I needed help.
20:37And there was no one to turn to.
20:39Margaret.
20:40She loved me.
20:41She'd help me.
20:43I went to Margaret and told her what had happened.
20:46You killed your wife.
20:47For you.
20:48So we could be married.
20:49And then Dr. Fletcher.
20:50I had to kill her, Margaret.
20:51He was going to recommend an autopsy.
20:53Why did you come here?
20:54We've got to run away.
20:54We still have an hour or two.
20:55If we could charter a plane to Canada or Mexico.
20:58What makes you think I'd run away with you?
21:01I thought you loved me.
21:03Don't be stupid.
21:03I'm going to turn you over to the police.
21:05Margaret, you can't mean that.
21:06Can't I just watch me?
21:07Margaret, listen before you pick up that phone.
21:09Even if you don't love me.
21:11Even if you won't go away with me.
21:12Give me a chance.
21:13Have mercy.
21:14You make me laugh.
21:16Judge Thornton, who never gave anybody else a break,
21:18pleading for mercy.
21:20Well, turn around and ask the man behind you for mercy.
21:22Behind me?
21:23That's right.
21:25Spencer.
21:27John Spencer.
21:28Take another look, Judge.
21:30No.
21:32No, you're not John Spencer.
21:35There's a resemblance, but you're not John Spencer.
21:37I'm his brother.
21:39You're the man that was following me.
21:40That's right.
21:42I was tricked.
21:43Led on by Margaret to kill my wife
21:45and forced by you to betray myself to Dr. Fletcher.
21:47But why?
21:49Why, Margaret?
21:50Why did you do this?
21:51For revenge.
21:52Revenge?
21:52Yes.
21:53The first day I came to your house,
21:55you thought my face was familiar.
21:56Well, now I'll tell you where it was
21:57that you first saw me.
21:59It was in the courtroom
22:00at John Spencer's trial.
22:02Courtroom?
22:03Yes.
22:04Yes.
22:04Yes.
22:04Remember how he begged for mercy?
22:06He told you he had a girl,
22:07that he was engaged to be married,
22:09and you could have given him his life,
22:10but you sentenced him to his death?
22:12Well, were you the girl?
22:14Yes.
22:16Spencer.
22:17Did he know about this?
22:19Oh, this was his plan.
22:21His revenge.
22:29Hello, operator.
22:30Give me police headquarters.
22:32I want to report a murder.
22:34Yes, that's right, a murder.
22:36Tell them it's very important to get here as soon as they can.
22:39I'm waiting now for the police to come,
22:42for the trial,
22:44for the sentence which I know will be death.
22:48As I wait,
22:50my thoughts go back to the courtroom.
22:52Well, you won't always be on top.
22:56Maybe someday you'll be down here where I am.
23:01And when that happens,
23:02I'll be laughing.
23:21Well, Judge Thornton certainly misjudged Margaret Cummings,
23:26which was a grave mistake.
23:29Well, he didn't have the ghost of a chance with her.
23:33She double-crossed him right into the graveyard.
23:37Oh, a word of caution.
23:39If you must commit a murder,
23:42be sure to select the proper weapon.
23:44I suggest a sharp-edged axe,
23:47because it provides you with a handy alibi.
23:51Well, the police want to know why you did it.
23:53You can claim the killing was accidental.
23:57Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
24:01ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
24:01ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
24:01ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
24:02ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
24:10ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
24:11Let's go.
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