- 4 hours ago
Mailing Fuji's (Yoshio Yoda) love letter from a Japanese-held island is nothing compared to explaining the reply. With Ernest Borgnine, Joe Flynn and Tim Conway.
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00:00The End
00:30I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I tell you
00:33Take it easy, group, don't let it get you down
00:35I can't help it, how come we have a decent crap game with all this stuff flying around
00:39Well, nice going, boys
00:42I see you almost got this place looking ship-shaped
00:45That's why they keep dropping these things for
00:47Yeah, don't they know we can't read
00:49The Elk Hall coming, Gates
00:52Hey, hey, hey, hey
00:56Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute
00:59You're supposed to wait till I call your name
01:00Parker
01:02Here
01:06Well, that's the way you're supposed to do it
01:08Wait till I die, don't you?
01:29Hey, skip one
01:34Hey, skip one, try a piece of my wife's fruitcake
01:46Yeah, all right
02:01Thanks, Christy
02:03Mmm, boy, that's good
02:06Hey, food, you ought to get the recipe
02:08Yeah, hey, here, foods, try some
02:10Oh, come on
02:12Hey, you want some fruitcake, Miss Parker?
02:15Hey, fellas, you gotta hear this
02:16She says, uh, dear Lester
02:19I wish you wouldn't call me that
02:20The Japanese souvenirs you sent caused a great deal of excitement
02:24Especially the flags
02:25If you can send more of them, please do
02:28As they are selling like hotcakes
02:30Love, Mumsy
02:31Hey, you guys, get a load of this
02:36That's a girl
02:39Hey, fellas
02:41You want to see a picture of my girl, Miyoshi?
02:44We've seen that picture a hundred times, Fuji
02:46This is a brand new one
02:47Hey, Fuji, take a look at it
02:48Hey, what's wrong with him?
02:58I'll tell you what's wrong with him
03:00Why'd you guys like to be in his shoes?
03:04Prisoner of war?
03:05Away from your own people?
03:07No mail from home?
03:10Beginning to get him down?
03:11Yeah, and every time we have mail called, it gets worse
03:13Wish there was something we could do, Skip
03:15Yeah, if there was only some way we could get a letter through to Miyoshi
03:19She'd be sure and answer him
03:21Why don't we just go down to the corner and mail it?
03:23There's a box there marked local, out of town, enemy
03:25Hold it, hold it
03:29Now, Tinker may have something
03:30Thanks, Skip
03:31Now, just exactly where do you guys mail all your letters?
03:33Well, it's a base post office
03:35Right, and that's exactly where the Nip's mail is
03:38No kidding, shouldn't we tell Captain Binghamton?
03:41Look
03:42Just supposing that we have Fuji write a letter to Miyoshi, huh?
03:46And then supposing we make a little sneak visit over to some Japanese-held island
03:51Like, uh, Mulakai
03:54And, uh, we just drop it in their mailbox
03:57Uh, pardon my insubordination, sir, but, uh, have you flipped?
04:01All right, all right
04:05All right, all right
04:06You guys are afraid?
04:08Why, uh, wait a minute
04:09No one said we're afraid
04:10Well, I think someone should
04:12Wild idea, but what do you say, fellas?
04:15Fuji?
04:16Only one thing, Skip
04:17Let's keep this on the QT
04:19Because if this leaks out, they'll have us all up for a gang section eight
04:22Well, hey gang, let's go find him
04:25All right, let's go, guys
04:26All my love
04:31Fuji
04:33Yes, Skipa-san
04:36Will you read it to the boys?
04:39Oh, well, now, this is too personal, Fuji
04:41You fellas stick neck out for me
04:43I'd like you to know what it says
04:45Well, okay, but my Japanese a little bit rusty
04:49My dear Miyoshi
04:54Although I am treated very well here
04:57At night, in the loneliness of my hut
05:02I think only of you
05:05War is not a nice thing
05:08It keeps two people who love each other far apart
05:13Oh, my darling Miyoshi
05:19How I miss you
05:21I think I'm allergic to something in here
05:25Uh, I think we read enough, Fuji
05:28Holy mackle, Skip, it's Binghamton
05:31He's just outside
05:32Beat it, Fuji
05:33Come on, you're over
05:34Come on, boy
05:35Come on, boy
05:36Anton
05:39Isn't it amazing, Carpenter
05:44How they can stand so straight
05:45And be so crooked
05:47At ease
05:49Good day, Mikael
05:51Uh, good day, sir
05:52Is there something we can do for you, sir?
05:53Just name it
05:54Don't tempt me
05:55Okay, well, I hate to admit this
05:57But I need your help
05:58Show them the leaflet, Carpenter
05:59Oh, yes
06:00Oh, is this one of those enemy leaflets, sir?
06:02No, that's one that I wrote
06:04I've decided to strike back at those sons of Fujiyama
06:06And I want you to translate that into Japanese for me
06:09I'm going to have it printed up
06:11And then I'll have the Air Force boys drop it on the Japanese
06:14What are you doing?
06:17Oh, uh, I salute you, sir
06:19That's a great idea
06:20Great idea
06:20Thank you
06:21I'll knock it out
06:22Let's get to work
06:23Uh, yes, sir
06:24Yes, sir
06:24Now, wait, uh
06:25What is that?
06:26What, what, what, what, what, what, what, sir?
06:29Let me see your hand
06:30What do you got here?
06:32What are you men doing?
06:33You men are all going to get 60 days in the break
06:34For playing hide-and-seek with your commanding officer
06:37What are you doing?
06:38Oh, I can play, too
06:39Pass it on
06:40What are you doing?
06:41Stop be handing me
06:42What is that?
06:43Power balance, one, Roger
06:44Not that
06:45I brought that in
06:46That other thing
06:47What is that?
06:49Mikhail, what's going on?
06:51Oh, well, you see, sir
06:52This is in Japanese
06:53Oh, well, yes, sir
06:54All right, men
06:57He caught us
06:59You see, sir
07:01Well, we had the same idea about
07:03About striking back at the nip, sir
07:06It's a propaganda leaflet that the boys and I wrote
07:09It is?
07:10I mean, it is
07:11Of course it is
07:12He spent a lot of time with those little figures
07:13Oh, Mikhail
07:15What does this so-called leaflet of yours say?
07:18Oh, well, yeah
07:18You wouldn't want to hear it, sir
07:19It's over yours
07:20It's much better
07:21Read it
07:22Yes, sir
07:24Hello out there in warland
07:29I wrote that one
07:30Read the other one
07:31Well, let this be a warning to you, sons of Nippon
07:41The stars and stripes will sink the rising sun
07:44So you might as well give up
07:47Because there's no glory like old glory
07:51And we have nothing to fear but fear itself
07:55So, uh, through blood, sweat, and tears
07:58We'll fight you on the beaches
08:00We'll fight you in the cities
08:02Be for victory
08:03And three cheers for the red, white, and blue
08:05Hooray?
08:08Hooray
08:08See, sir, it's pretty bad, isn't it?
08:12Carpenter?
08:13Sir?
08:14What did you think of it?
08:17I'm not sure, sir
08:18I think it's great
08:19I think it's great
08:20You do?
08:21Yes, I do
08:22Chose a lot of initiative, Mikhail
08:24In fact, it's better than mine
08:25We'll use yours instead of mine
08:26No, no, no, buts, Mikhail
08:29When you do something right, it ought to be acknowledged
08:31Come on, Carpenter
08:32We'll have copies of this made
08:34Mikhail
08:36You amaze me
08:38Gee, Skip, what are we gonna do now?
08:43I don't know
08:43I don't know, but if anybody from headquarters
08:46Gets a hold of that letter
08:47And can read that Japanese
08:49It's sayonara, boys
08:51In space
08:52Captain Binghamton
08:55Yeah, what is it, Mikhail?
08:57Well, sir, there's no need to bring those leaflets to the Air Force, sir
09:01We'll distribute them
09:02How? We're gonna pass them out on street corners?
09:06Oh, well, no, sir
09:08No, we just go to some Japanese held island in the dark of the night
09:11And tiptoe around, leave our little handbills, drive the nymphs batty
09:15And best of all, you won't have to share the credit with the flyboys
09:20Will wonders never cease?
09:25Mikhail with two good ideas in one day
09:27We'll have to share the credit, huh?
09:29Yes, sir
09:30We'll try it, we'll try it
09:32Why don't you come up with something once in a while?
09:36Bye-bye, Captain
09:37Bye
09:38Well, I just think, Poochie, in about two weeks you'll have a letter from my Yoshi
09:43Skip us on
09:44You sure you want to go through with this?
09:46I don't worry about a thing
09:47Your letter's as good as mail, baby
09:49And the only one who'll ever see those leaflets is Davy Jones
09:53He's got a fan there at 12 o'clock at Binghamton
09:56What's he want now?
09:57Go on, beat it, Poochie, beat it
09:58What's all I got?
09:59Go on
09:59Now, Mikhail, I'm all ready, let's get
10:07What are you two apes gawking at?
10:10Didn't you ever see a fighting man before?
10:13Coming with us, sir?
10:14No, I'm dressed for trick-or-treat
10:16Of course I'm going with you, Mikhail
10:19I want to make sure that I get full credit for this brilliant idea of mine
10:23Let's go, let's go, let's go, shove off
10:25His idea
10:28Boy, what are we going to do?
10:29Now we can't dump those leaflets overboard
10:31Yeah, not unless we dump Binghamton with him
10:34Yeah, boy, with that helmet, he seems like a rockweed
10:36You can't do that
10:38All right, man, let's move out
10:46Uh, uh, that way is east, sir
10:49I know which way east
10:50Yes, sir
10:50Hey, Skip
10:55I feel kind of bad distributing Fuji's love letter like this
10:57It's so personal
10:58Well, try and ditch him if you can
11:00If you can't, Fuji will understand
11:01That group
11:02No souvenir hunting
11:04Oh, but Skip, Mom said send more flags
11:06Oh, my God
11:08What are you doing?
11:23Oh, don't forget, sir
11:24They're a lot shorter than we are
11:26Oh, good thinking, brother
11:28That's their mailbox, all right
11:44Are you sure?
11:45It's either that or they're voting
11:46Okay, take it over to that mailbox
11:51We'll cover you
11:52Take it easy, though
11:53Oh, good
11:58Oh, yeah, it's hot, hot, hot
12:02It's hot, hot, hot
12:04Oh, well, it's hot
12:06It's really hot
12:06I've got milk to get out with it
12:08Yes, for it
12:09Right, I will find it
12:10I've got it
12:11Okay, okay, okay
12:11I'll cover you
12:12Okay, okay, okay
12:13We'll cover you
12:14Ah, Henry, what's that?
12:15What did you say?
12:16What did you say?
12:16?
12:16I money diss passed
12:17You dropped it, okay, okay
12:18Please step it down
12:19I will cut you
12:20How about that?
12:23That's the greatest double play in history, Chuck.
12:26Tinker to Tojo Tumiyoshi.
12:28Come on, let's get it.
12:38Yippee!
12:38Good work, food.
12:39Your letters play.
12:40That's great, Mojie, huh?
12:42Boy, I don't know how to thank you all.
12:44You've made me very happy.
12:45And Momsy's pretty tickled, too.
12:49Ha-ha!
12:50I'm sorry, Skip.
12:51I just couldn't resist it.
12:52I'll resist you.
12:54Hey, listen, Skip.
12:55We've got to decide who's going to double for Fuji
12:57when we go back for that Nip mail call.
12:58Well, that's all decided.
12:59I'm going.
13:02All right, okay.
13:04All right.
13:05Now, what do you heroes got in mind?
13:07Well, Skip, as second in command,
13:08I feel it's my responsibility.
13:10To go?
13:11No, to come up with an idea.
13:13Why don't we draw straws?
13:14That's a good idea.
13:15All right, okay.
13:18So we'll draw straws.
13:19Yeah, there we are.
13:21Now, short straw wins.
13:22Short straw wins.
13:23Short straw wins.
13:24There we go.
13:27Okay.
13:28There we are.
13:30Good.
13:31There you are, Chuck.
13:32Go ahead.
13:32All right.
13:32Okay, now, guys.
13:35Don't be nervous.
13:35There's one for you.
13:36Easy now.
13:37One for you.
13:39Oh, no, no.
13:39Not you.
13:41I'll draw you a prisoner of war.
13:42Remember?
13:43There you are, fellas.
13:44Hey.
13:45Okay.
13:46All right.
13:47All right.
13:47Let's see who the lucky winner is now.
13:49Oh, it looks like I got this short one, boys.
13:53Oh, no, Skip.
13:54Mr. Parker's a shorter.
13:56Hey, that's the first time I ever won anything.
13:59All right.
13:59Now, look, Chuck.
14:00I'm going to go anyway, because I'm the only one that can speak Japanese here.
14:03Oh, no.
14:03Wait a minute, Skip.
14:04I won this fair and baby, and it's my square now.
14:07Square.
14:08Well, besides, Fuji can teach me all the Japanese I need to know.
14:11What do I have to say, Fuji?
14:12When they call your name, you just say,
14:15Gunsou dono,手紙を受け取りに参りました.
14:17Oh, that's simple.
14:18Good donuts.
14:19Taggy on your termite.
14:22Oh, well, now that settles it.
14:23Look, I'm going on a mission.
14:25No, now, wait, Skip.
14:26I got plenty of time to learn it, and any nitwit could learn a simple thing like that in two weeks.
14:30Good donuts.
14:32Gunsou dono,手紙を受け取りに来ました.
14:34See?
14:35He knows it.
14:37Good donut.
14:38Gunsou dono.
14:39I do too.
14:41Dono?
14:42Oh, no.
14:43Torino.
14:45Torini.
14:46Come here.
14:47Me.
14:48Come on.
14:49Oh, you'll never get it.
14:50Guys, it's no good, Chuck.
14:53You just don't sound like a Japanese soldier.
14:55Well, at least he looks the part.
14:56It's a perfect fit.
14:57Lucky I had his size in stock.
14:59You guys quit worrying.
15:00I'll practice on the boat.
15:01I want to get that letter.
15:03Neither rain nor sweeteners know.
15:06Shall stay this courier from his appointed rounds.
15:08How about bullets?
15:09Yeah.
15:10I'd get to bring that up.
15:11You guys quit worrying.
15:14Grober?
15:15Come on, let's go.
15:16Oh, Paco-san.
15:18Maybe this is all too dangerous.
15:21Huh?
15:21Now, look.
15:22I drew the short straw and I'm going.
15:24Now, will you quit worrying?
15:25Come on, you guys.
15:33Tank, turn them over.
15:35Christy, stand by.
15:36Good luck, Paco-san.
15:39Huh?
15:40Oh, yeah.
15:43We skip condition real.
15:45Here comes Binghamton.
15:46Oh, for crying out loud.
15:47What's he want now?
15:48Come on, beat it, foods.
15:50Beat it.
15:50Come on, get aboard.
15:51Fast.
15:51What's all the excitement about?
15:52Just because Binghamton's coming, I...
15:53Look at you.
15:54Hurry up.
15:55Hurry up.
15:55Come on, Capo.
16:03Well, McHale, today's the big day.
16:05Yes, sir.
16:05Just getting ready to shove off, sir.
16:07You sure you don't want me to go with you?
16:08Well, it's like I explained to you, sir.
16:10We need as much room as possible for your prisoners.
16:13Yeah, that's right.
16:14Extra prisoner could mean an extra strike.
16:17All right, let's get going.
16:18Come on.
16:19Yes, sir.
16:19All right, say that.
16:20Let go forward there, will you?
16:21All right, let go after.
16:22Bye-bye, sir.
16:25Good hunting, McHale.
16:31You know, there's only one thing about this whole operation that bothers me.
16:35What's that, sir?
16:37McHale.
16:38Sir, he's being very cooperative.
16:40Yeah, but McHale without an angle is like Betty Grable without a curve.
16:45I'm sure I'd hate that to happen to Miss Grable.
16:46She's one of my favorites.
16:47When I see her...
16:48Oh, knock it off.
16:49Let's go and have a drink to the success of the mission.
16:52Oh, at the office's club, sir?
16:53No.
16:55McHale's hut.
16:56I mean, why pay retail when you can get it at the source?
17:06Good Lord.
17:07This place is a pigsty.
17:10I wonder where he keeps his private stock.
17:12Oh, I wouldn't know, sir.
17:14You wouldn't know, sir.
17:15Well, move some of these Japanese uniforms.
17:17Maybe you'll find it.
17:18Yes, sir.
17:19Yes, sir.
17:19Yes, sir.
17:19Yes, sir.
17:22What are Japanese uniforms doing here?
17:27Oh, good heaven, sir.
17:28I wouldn't know about that.
17:29You wouldn't know anything, would you?
17:31I think Betty Grable just got back in shape.
17:33Sir?
17:34I knew that McHale must be in cahoots with the Nips.
17:37He's the one that suggested going over to that island.
17:39But, sir, that was to distribute the leaflets.
17:41The leaflets that he wrote.
17:43Carpenter, we need a Japanese dictionary.
17:45We've got some translating to do.
17:47That isn't what McHale read to us, and he was lying.
17:51Right, sir.
17:51I can't find all the words in the dictionary, sir, but look at this for yourself.
17:56My darling, love, in my arms, adore you.
18:02Love, I kiss your toes.
18:06It's obviously some kind of a code.
18:09Must be the biggest jerk in the Navy.
18:11Oh, no, sir.
18:12I knew a couple of captains when I was going to...
18:13Oh, shut up.
18:14Get me complete.
18:16I'm going to have a surprise in store for Mercado McHale when he gets back.
18:22I kiss your toes.
18:24What a war.
18:35Yubi!
18:37Yubi!
18:38Yubi!
18:40Hey, that's it, Chuck.
18:41Remember what you're going to say?
18:42Yeah, I got it, Skip.
18:43Uh, GONUT, DONUT.
18:45Uh, Leggo, Mary, Mary.
18:46It's still time to pull out if you want.
18:48Nah, don't worry about a thing, Skip.
18:50I'm going to get off.
18:51Skip.
18:51Go on, go on.
18:52Yubi!
18:55KUNSOTO, TECAMI MOI KITOREN NEKMASHITA!
18:58Rumata, Maki!
19:00KUNSOTO, TECAMI MOI KITOREN NEKMASHITA!
19:03Arita, KAKEO!
19:07KUNSOTO, TECAMI MOI KITOREN NEKMASHITA!
19:09KUNSOTO, TECAMI MOI KITOREN samen.
19:13KUNSOTO, TECAMI MOI KITOREN NEKMASHITA!
19:19Yubika.
19:20I'm so sorry.
19:26I'm so sorry.
19:30I'm sorry.
19:32Here we go.
19:33It's okay.
19:34I'm sorry.
19:35I'm sorry.
19:36I'm sorry.
19:39It's okay.
19:41I'm sorry.
19:42Hey!
19:44Okay.
19:46I'm sorry.
19:48I'm going to bring my commitment.
19:52I will make my commitment.
19:54Mumsong, Tumui!
19:56Thank you!
19:58I'm going to bring it to my wife.
20:00My friends, I'm going to get this Waiya.
20:05Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum… Tum…
20:08What's up, what's up?
20:10I'm going to go.
20:12I'm going to go.
20:14I'm going to go.
20:16I'm going to go.
20:22I'm going to go.
20:24I'm going to go.
20:26Fujiwara Takeo.
20:28Hey.
20:30Bingo.
20:32Hey, we did it, Skip. We did it.
20:34Fujiwara Takeo.
20:36Fujiwara Takeo...
20:42Give me a rock. Give me a rock.
20:44Fujiwara Takeo...
20:48Fujiwara Takeo...
20:56Fujiwara Takeo...
21:06Oh
21:36Really, yeah.
21:54All right, let's get out of here.
21:56Hey, what about my wallet?
21:57Come on, let's go.
21:58I'll get your lines over.
22:06Hey, Skip, look.
22:08Oh, now, don't worry.
22:09You just keep out of sight.
22:10I'll handle this.
22:11Go on.
22:14Hi, Captain.
22:16Well, sir, we're back.
22:17Knock off the small talk, McGill.
22:19Where are the prisoners?
22:20Where, where, where?
22:21Well, sir, we didn't get any prisoners,
22:23but I can explain.
22:25You can explain it at your court, Marshal.
22:27You're under arrest.
22:28Seize him.
22:29Arrest?
22:29What for?
22:31Espionage.
22:31I had that little letter of yours translated.
22:34How much are they paying you, you turncoat?
22:36That love letter was a code, right?
22:38Oh, knock it off, Captain.
22:39Captain, you don't understand.
22:40Maybe the man from Comfleet will.
22:42He's due here at...
22:44Oh, Captain Martin.
22:45Guard him.
22:48Captain Binghamton, sir, this is Captain Martin
22:49of Comfleet Intelligence.
22:50I know, I know who he is.
22:51We've been waiting for you, Captain.
22:53Well, Captain, that leaflet caused quite a stir at headquarters.
22:55I figured it would.
22:56The Admiral wants the man responsible for it.
22:58I've got him right here for you, sir.
23:00He's Commander Quinton McHale, and he's all yours.
23:04McHale?
23:04I do, sir.
23:05Congratulations.
23:07Congratulations?
23:10Congratulations?
23:12Certainly.
23:13You gave the psychological warfare boys a lesson.
23:16Don't appeal to the mind, appeal to the heart.
23:18Twenty nips have already surrendered
23:20carrying that love letter of yours.
23:21Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:23Twenty, sir, it was a love letter.
23:25I'd like to talk to you about some more of your ideas, McHale.
23:28You've become quite a hero up at Comfleet.
23:30Oh, well, thank you very much, sir.
23:31We're just trying to do our part.
23:33Hmm.
23:35Twenty.
23:36Whoo!
23:36Why don't you lose some of that weight?
23:47All right.
23:48I got one for Belle.
23:51Here.
23:52Christopher.
23:53Yes, sir.
23:53Edward.
23:54Your name is Paul.
23:55And St. Charles.
23:56Bugger.
23:57Hey, is there a Takeo Fujiwara here?
24:02Bill Sautano, I'm going to send you a letter.
24:03Oh, this is terrible.
24:14She went and got married.
24:15Married?
24:16I can't trust that guy.
24:18How do you like that?
24:19He went and got a dear Fujiwara.
24:20Hey, she sent me another picture.
24:22After all we went through and he's more unhappy than ever.
24:25Oh, no.
24:26I'm too lucky to be unhappy.
24:28Lucky?
24:29Look how fat a girl can get in two years.
24:32Look at this, fellas.
24:39Say about it.
24:41Hey, Bowser, let's me see that picture of yoga.
24:44Hey!
24:45Hey!
24:50Hey!
24:54Hey!
24:59¶¶
25:29¶¶
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25:37
25:33
25:23
1:22
1:09
25:33
1:12
3:08
24:40
4:56
1:15
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