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00:00but one might ask what happens after we conquer the tri-state area to which I say first thought
00:12best thought we head west quick question how long will this presentation take well okay I did plan
00:18a lunch midway through right out there in the foyer ah ring ring terribly sorry Jerry I must
00:25take this hello really you need me now you say do excuse me I'll be straight back I promise tell
00:32you're not holding a telephone immediately ah all right person on the end of this mobile he said
00:38ring ring there's no cord but press forward great presentation Jerry unfortunately me and Nandor
00:47have a 9 p.m. at our jobs at canning capital so thank you so much bye then miss the guy hey
00:57thought you guys actually were taking the vampire domination seriously this time we are we are Jerry
01:03yeah we gotta get that green Jess great so now I'm talking to the ghost doll and the energy vampire
01:08uh Colin Robinson right can you just take it from the top
01:11don't sing if you want to live long they have no use for your song you're dead you're dead you're dead
01:23you're dead and out of this world now I hope that compassion is gone I've sold out your dream to the
01:31world stay dead stay dead stay dead you're dead and out of this world
01:37I am loving my job at Canon Capital Strategies every day I am greasing the filthy wheels of commerce and
01:56learning the dark arts of corporate America all the while secretly helping Guillermo rise through the
02:01ranks here I have had to go above and beyond at times to um you know help these dogs really
02:08appreciate Guillermo
02:09I think they are coming around hey Nadia Jordan's making a big announcement in 15 minutes so don't go
02:23anywhere okay hey guys what's up you see how he talks like the little piss king of everything now
02:28oh no rest for the wicked what a way to make a living things are going really well for me here
02:37to be considered an important part of the team is refreshment for my spirits it reminds me of the old
02:44Alcanadarian folk tale of the humble sheepherder who was secretly a prince one day the people here
02:51are going to be very surprised to learn that the janitor who scoops out their hangover vomit from
02:57waste paper bins is in fact a very powerful warrior there he is what's up Andy so someone took a shit
03:03on the toilet seat again I will fix all right listen up I got the big news it's official we have
03:10acquired Hancock and son yeah this is a name that is synonymous with classic American style
03:17and it's got insane brand equity out the ass it's just a stellar stellar acquisition I'm so proud of you
03:25guys and special kudos to the motherfucking LBO team over here killing it let's party
03:31thank you so basically we licensed the Hancock and son's name to the highest bidder who make the
03:50clothes super cheap in Asia which is a great job for a third world kid and then all the factories that
03:56we close down in the US get converted into like drug clinics it's pretty clever if you think about
04:01it hey Guillermo yes master yes Jordan hey oh I didn't know you're on film cool kicks dude hey um
04:08did you get my spot at Gage and Tolner yeah you got it 7 30 window seat okay I mean I actually need
04:13you to make that eight okay and I may not go at all so make a note okay hey level up bro level up
04:20there it is no we don't explode sorry yeah yeah we'll keep working on it hot tip this little
04:26ding-dong is partner material trust me what no it's easy when you have a cool boss like Jordan
04:31shut the fuck up I've learned so much from him he's um well I hear he's quite the deal maker
04:36so I kind of see him now more as a mentor he can also be very demanding
04:42but you know nothing I'm not used to oh hey Guillermo yep yeah uh one more thing you know the janitor
04:54you're kind of friendly with the one that's getting in everyone's face all the time uh Andy
04:58I don't know maybe Nandor that's it yeah I don't know him you know every time this son of a bitch
05:03comes in my office to empty the trash he starts up a 10-minute conversation I'll talk to him no no
05:07fire him looks good to me we should uh try him out on the road see how he does at a quintanera or
05:18something you'll do no such thing this creature was created for shit work and shit work it will do
05:23hello my darling tell him I'll be right up he's already on his way down shit cover him up oh you're
05:33wrong Laszlo this monster could do so much more than just shit work yeah well I'll be the judge of
05:38that night night little buddy see you later oh oh what the fuck is this place some sort of torture
05:46chamber no no no welcome to the laundry room smells like scrambled eggs and piss well Nandor insists that
05:53we use an organic detergent it's cool cool so you guys still work at the railroad right
05:59of course we do yeah I work at the railroad me too for a few years now we've had to tell Sean that
06:06we work at the railroad which explains the rather odd hours we keep he usually doesn't ask questions
06:11which is good because we don't know dick about the railroad so that's uh it's a pretty cool job
06:16that's about the coolest the railroad is a great company Sean's not what you would call curious
06:21well I just got shit canned from the TSA Charmaine's been on my ass about asking if I don't know you
06:32know maybe I could get an interview with the railroad but fuck me you know you won an interview you got
06:38it seriously yeah oh that's awesome anything for a friend you're the best friend I've ever had in my
06:44life I swear to you guys I am not gonna let you down not even you Dilbert I gotta tell Sean Ming right
06:49now she's gotta let me back in the big bed shit we don't actually work at the railroad yes I do know
06:56that just hypnotize the guy so he forgets about the interview I wish I could he's almost brain dead
07:01he's hypnotized out he's a proper idiot doesn't know his ass from his elbow I mean he really is stupid
07:07but he's my friend I can't let him down hey elevator box don't go go you need to press one of the
07:13buttons Sean oh there we go good gravy yo big G what is that tea yeah okay I need you to book the
07:26back room at modus for Friday night we're gonna go ham on some steaks with the whole team that includes
07:31you really yeah you're special to me ding dong look at that smile hey you earned it bro the fuck hey
07:38the fuck is he still doing here I told you to fire that hippie oh yeah I've been so
07:43swamped I haven't got around yeah yeah we're all swamped if you're not ready to step up I need to
07:47know like right now I'm ready
07:49welcome to the Staten Island and Southwestern Railroad we brainstormed several ways out of our
08:06Sean dilemma but in the end the simplest plan was the best which was to rent an entire corporate office
08:13floor and hire a bunch of actors to pretend they're working at a railroad office Kristen we're
08:18gonna need more phones Duryberry not West Brighton Duryberry now you two are gonna be in an office
08:23romance you know I want to really feel the tension do I get extra for that uh no you don't you're lucky
08:29to even be here don't overthink it guys pretend you work at the railroad sometimes you look at a clock
08:35sometimes you look at a map you're always angling for some workman's comps so you can
08:40sit on your your big butts that's the dream of a railroad worker
08:44what is cracking my friend oh you know just crushing it climbing up that ladder you know how it is
08:57I do I am also making advancements in the friendship department okay so here's the thing
09:04Jordan has asked me to tell you oh advice from the great Jordan do tell well Jordan has asked me to
09:13tell you I'm an employee of the month he wants me to tell you that he thinks you should blend in more
09:22with the background the background kind of be more invisible invisible yes of course you know as a
09:36powerful warrior I'm not so used to tamping down my natural air of cold command such a personality can
09:45cast a long shadow that's it thank you for the advice Guillermo it'll be as if I'm not even here
09:52okay give me another fact our trains specialize in moving units all right well how many units
10:022,000 units that's big oh engines they run on electric or diesel uh electric diesel and I'll throw in
10:09some steam sounds like low emissions strictly nocturnal I'm gonna love this company what a lovely surprise
10:17Shawnee what is going on here Laz is prepping me for my interview at the railroad tomorrow oh could I
10:24borrow you my velvet king hey be much husband and wife business you know don't worry about go over my
10:28resume you idiot there is no railroad well that's why we built one you built a railroad well not the
10:35whole thing just the office so you could give Sean a job of course not there is no job so we could give
10:41Sean an interview build his confidence after this he'll be getting jobs left right in Chelsea I
10:46remember working at Kinko's oh Laszlo Sean is very lucky to have a friend who is as big and generous in
10:55his brains as he is in his knickers yes you uh I think I should get like a conductor's hair or something
11:03of course I will miss the easy camaraderie of an office environment but such is the curse of
11:11powerful men what's up gangsta at least I am helping Guillermo what's he doing should I go get Sherry
11:19yeah right all right I gotta go all right I'll see you of course it hurt a little but I was reminded
11:26of when I was a warlord I would always discourage non-sexual fraternization amongst the men
11:32whoa this is one hell of a busy office and this is just a night shift well here at the railroad we
11:38like to keep rolling I see what you did there are you ready I'm ready as I'll ever be oh hey listen
11:44I'd like to say hi to Nando while I'm here you know yeah I don't think that'll be possible he's
11:48very busy at the moment oh there he is now we'll just move on in here yeah so you're about to meet
11:53Mr. Smith now he's a tough nut to crack a man of few words just relax and be yourself if I tell you to
11:59leave that office then get out of the office what do you do get out of the office you got it oh why
12:04it's uh Laszlo and Sean yes Mr. Smith this is the man we were telling you about Sean Rinaldi meet Greg
12:13Smith president of the SISR oh we're not going to do that I'm going to miss the show
12:20hey thank you for the opportunity ah damn that's an interesting grip huh we decided to kill two cats
12:32with one arrow meaning Sean gets his interview and the monster gets to show that he's a smart cool dude
12:39who's Sean that's a great question uh who is Sean Rinaldi well I'm a hard worker a team player
12:48why Sean railroad boom another great question I will hold you responsible if today turns into carnage
12:56it won't it might I think to me the Staten Island and Southwestern Rail isn't in the business of
13:03transportation it's in the business of dreams
13:06sure yeah we'll do another five this is so good sorry I gotta ask man what's your fucking deal like
13:15where do you even come from oh uh well I'm from Staten Island but uh I was raised in the Bronx no
13:20motherfucker I mean you were pushing the mail cart two weeks ago now you're an analyst like what the
13:26fuck's up with that well uh junior analyst but yeah I guess I'm pretty good at my job pretty
13:31fucking great at it more like it yeah oh hell yeah but seriously bro Jordan he thinks you're the
13:36shit man really that's right yeah no lie and then I say not my problem cheers to you motherfucking
13:46oh yeah let's go again let's go again oh come on you know you want to come on bring him around
13:57bring him around
13:58oh yeah
14:03oh yeah
14:07hey hey listen up listen up I got something to say I want to get this off my chest make it real
14:25quick then we'll go back to the partying looking at everybody at this table some of you guys are not
14:29going to be here in a couple months I get that because of performance levels but for most of you
14:34I love this group so much I am so proud of this team
14:37pussy
14:38I'm gonna knock you out motherfucker shut the fuck up trying to get through this you know this isn't
14:42something I'm comfortable doing being nice but I want to say it you guys work so damn hard and if
14:48you know anything about me you know that everything I do here is for my wife and my kids right yes
14:53having said that fuck them this is my fucking family right here get the fuck up here get up
15:07this kid shows up early stays late works his ass off never complains and I love it
15:13I love you welcome to the family my brother let's hear it for
15:17Guillermo
15:25I may look wistful but that is the look all generals have when they
15:29hear the enlisted men carrying on let them sing and boast it is better that I keep my distance
15:37well I don't want to take up any more your time mr. Smith except to say that I believe in the power
15:45of rail and not just for the economics of this great country but for the entire planet it's one
15:51of the reasons that I think I make a great fit because I'm young I'm dumb I'm a fool
15:56Greg Smith stop you there yeah I shouldn't have made the joke
16:06railroad more than get freight a to b point it more than business for money profit yeah it about
16:15connect people yeah it about bring folk together yeah I couldn't agree more
16:23bring smith like cut of sean jib welcome to railroad
16:30I am so proud right now I told you he could do more than just grunt work yeah but you know he
16:36wasn't actually supposed to hire sean yeah so uh how many days do I get off fair enough but he didn't
16:43kill anyone I cannot believe you hired him let alone made him a vice president what I think sean will
16:52make a fantastic vice president really like cut of sean jib yeah I couldn't agree more monster
16:58he's super qualified and he's incredibly charismatic oh I mean damn sean for being so good what's up
17:05motherfuckers motherfuckers shouldn't you be shitting in your shed no me and jordan and the lbo team went
17:12out for steak because we closed on the hancock and sons deal no hancock and sons that's a quality shirt
17:20not anymore we just bought it for the brand and the land the rest of it can go itself oh no no not
17:27fuck itself like jordan said this is a net positive for the consumer to get a cheaper product that is
17:33just a nice way of saying that you get rich off the bones of the old workers you don't know what you're
17:37talking about you know why because you are not on the team
17:43bitch I am the team I built you up from a nobody in the mail room I was told that my own boarding that
17:51nobody is a nobody at canon capital strategies it is not right that this insolent little shed dweller
17:58should ever claim to be better than me whatever not okay yeah maybe you did help me get a few steps
18:04ahead but you know what you're not that great in fact that whole office is made up of tiny little
18:09shed dwellers jordan loves me because i crush it and you're all sitting around with your dicks in your
18:15hands why not it's our house those pencil dicks will rule the day they ever overlooked me
18:23okay so let's wait for their counter but be prepared to be very aggressive with them because
18:27i've seen this before okay yeah uh what else do we have on the agenda i know there's some more
18:32which of you sons of bitches wants to live in a mansion yeah i think you're in the wrong meeting
18:38there elvira okay this is the lbo team sorry i thought this was the team with dicks so big that
18:44they wipe the floors but if you're too busy sucking each other off i can go elsewhere hang on i'll bite
18:50before i fire you what do you what do you got do you like trains because i know your mom does and this
18:57is too big even for her wide set legs staten island and southwestern railroad absolutely
19:03creaming with acids open season yeah this might be something
19:12well how's it feel yeah like i belong right what do i do now call a meeting make a spreadsheet the
19:19world's your oyster you're higher up on the org chart than we are i am oh yeah you're a vp oh
19:25laszlo's a deputy senior director and i'm a railroad consultant our own that's a lot of responsibility
19:32yeah we should do something official let's go check out the trains that's a great idea let's go and
19:37check out the trains there are no trains i know that i just don't want to disappoint sean
19:42maybe we can tell him the trains were stolen he's not going to believe a preposterous lie like that
19:46wait a minute what's nadja doing here well here we are you can see for yourself how active and alive and
19:53real it is ah my darling what a pleasant surprise who are your guests uh us business banker types are
20:01very interested in the satan island southwestern railway with a view to purchase am i right my guys
20:07i'm so sorry is this a joke what are you even pointing at this is there's nothing even on this
20:12paper and on the other side it just says train over and over again you see that this computer is fake
20:16it's made of plastic it's a prank or something is this a prank show are you with us because that would be
20:21funny no no no this is actually a tremendous good business bill very ruthless stuff and we're gonna
20:28be drunk on gold it's all right my darling they've sussed it the office's was done just for the benefit
20:34of my friend sean oh well that explains oh yeah and who the is sean sean sean is my best friend he means
20:39everything to me so you brought us to satin island for some straight
20:43pretty much yeah and it'd be great if you fellas just played along he's a nice guy yeah i don't think so
20:49this is jordan is going to be so pissed i don't care about jordan my husband spent three thousand
20:54dollars on the life yeah it was actually three thousand five hundred hold up this whole floor
20:59went for 35 hundo only for the month that's way below market value even in staten island that's
21:06crazy probably part of a family trust where they all hate each other and want to cash out this is a
21:11family in crisis even though there was no railroad the real estate was very undervalued yeah plus that
21:21real estate girl i've been fucking she told me staten island it's the new bushwick yes i may not know
21:27what any of that means but it makes no difference i still made it happen good work let's go magda you
21:35might have just saved your job my darling wife narja not only proved her mettle with the financiers
21:40but she also solved the sean dilemma he got a job at the railroad railroad went under as railroads
21:47often do you fucking kidding me be on my control i'm taking my training which my grandpa gave me this
21:53place doesn't deserve me i'm leaving so do me a favor when you're putting those decks together i just want
21:59you to double check to make sure all the valuation spreads are the fuck dude i thought i told you to fire
22:05that weird janitor yeah no i don't want to hear it okay just get it done i don't want to fire nandor
22:13it's like jordan said it's about being the right fit maybe that's what we were or warrant
22:19nandor couldn't make me a vampire and i can't make him a janitor okay this is why they paid the money
22:35and or hey busy um just doing some light cleaning please take a seat great oh it feels good to take
22:51some weight off the old tootsies yeah a break is good what is cracking you know same old same old
22:58you know i noticed that jordan is starting to show a real special confidence in your guillermo and he's
23:05wise to do so thank you i mean it i think you will do very well here i think so too which is why i'm
23:13proud of you
23:16okay you know there's no easy way of saying this so i'm just gonna say it
23:19say what that we as a company need to downsize downsize what is downsize sounds exciting
23:35it's when you have to let people go it's not jimmy is it no it's not jimmy oh phew jimmy is my number one
23:44bro no i'm telling you because you're the one that we have to let go you're firing me yes but if you
23:55think about it's the best thing that could ever happen to you i just want you to know that it was
23:59not my decision it's fine i'll just um i'm so sorry good luck kim good luck pandora
24:14excuse me you know what i'm great it's been a positive experience guillermo he's like a baby bird
24:24like a little falcon looking for his first bit of prey he needs to prove himself so no i am in no way
24:31shape or form humiliated by the fact that i have just been fired by my own by my former you know what
24:44excuse me
24:47please
24:48i'll always treasure my brief time at the railroad i came away from it knowing that i got value
25:14what char rinaldi is a hot commodity wish me luck you know which way to the char rinaldi interview
25:19i mean i'm still seeking similar vp positions in the transportation sector but till one of those
25:24comes along i'm going to keep my hand in right here at task grabbing because this guy
25:30it's going to be okay
25:44is
26:09so
26:10Transcription by CastingWords
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