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Taskmaster is a popular comedy game show where celebrity contestants compete in a series of bizarre and often absurd challenges. Overseen by the Taskmaster, Greg Davies, and his assistant Alex Horne, each episode tests their creativity, logic, and patience. In this installment, the contestants face new, perplexing tasks, leading to hilarious attempts and unexpected results as they vie for the Taskmaster's golden head trophy.
taskmaster greg-davies alex-horne comedy game-show challenges british-tv entertainment
#Taskmaster #Comedy #GameShow #FullEpisode
taskmaster greg-davies alex-horne comedy game-show challenges british-tv entertainment
#Taskmaster #Comedy #GameShow #FullEpisode
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TVTranscription
00:00Oh, non !
00:06Hello ?
00:13Hey !
00:18Ah !
00:19Il n'y a pas tout de suite dans cette maison.
00:30Hello !
00:34Welcome !
00:36Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38I'm Greg Davies.
00:39A juicy fillet steak of manhood, if I do say so myself.
00:42Take the heat off. I'm rare and I'm ready for the plate.
00:47Who dares to sit at the table of white-hot competition
00:50and complete tasks to make me sizzle on my judgmental skillet?
00:55Who dares to face my pepper-scorn sauce?
01:00Who wants my championships enough
01:02to risk getting their just desserts?
01:05Let's find out.
01:06Here they are.
01:07Anya Magliano !
01:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:10Maziana !
01:12Drew Ellis !
01:14Rick Shearsmith !
01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:17And Sanjee Vassar !
01:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:22And next to me, a man who told me
01:25that on a childhood visit to a fruit farm,
01:27he once sneakily ate so many strawberries
01:30that he achieved the holy grail,
01:32the unbroken three-foot stool.
01:35LAUGHTER
01:37HE SINGS
01:39HE SINGS
01:40HE SINGS
01:41HE SINGS
01:42HE SINGS
01:43HE SINGS
01:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:46Well, look, it's time for the raffle, everyone,
01:48so if you want to get your tickets out at home.
01:51Do you want to do the honours today, Greg?
01:53Yeah.
01:54LAUGHTER
01:55Who's going to win this week's raffle?
01:57Let's find out.
01:58So get your tickets out.
01:59Oh, it's a pink.
02:00It's a pink ticket.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:02528.
02:03A pink 528.
02:04So get in touch if that's you.
02:06Thank you.
02:07LAUGHTER
02:09It's the raffle.
02:11It's the raffle.
02:12Incredible, isn't it?
02:13LAUGHTER
02:14Did you buy a ticket?
02:15I didn't buy a ticket.
02:16I bought you a ticket.
02:17OK.
02:18LAUGHTER
02:19You want to check your pockets?
02:21LAUGHTER
02:23This is better.
02:24This is better.
02:26Oh, 528.
02:27I think 528.
02:28APPLAUSE
02:30You win a hamper.
02:32You can have it there.
02:33It's a good hamper.
02:34Genuinely good.
02:35Salt bin bags, shoe soles, cinnamon sticks.
02:37LAUGHTER
02:38Stuff you genuinely want from a hamper.
02:40OK.
02:41Let's get on with the prize task.
02:43Bang-tidy.
02:44And this week the category is the thing you were least likely to bring in from your home.
02:50Ooh.
02:51Big fingers crossed here for Lord Lucan.
02:53Five points will be given to this person that Greg thinks has brought in.
02:57The least likely thing they've brought from their home.
02:59But you know how this works, Greg.
03:01You're all over the format by now, mate.
03:03Don't worry about that.
03:04LAUGHTER
03:06LAUGHTER
03:07OK.
03:08Sanjeev, hello.
03:09Hello.
03:10Hello.
03:11Can I show you what it is?
03:12Sanjeev has brought this in.
03:13Yeah.
03:14LAUGHTER
03:15Come on!
03:17LAUGHTER
03:18Did you just have it around, or is that decanted for the show?
03:22Oh, no, that was especially for the show.
03:24I mean, I don't have urine samples lying around the house.
03:26No.
03:27But...
03:28But you have the bottles.
03:29Well, yeah.
03:30I mean, you never know when you need them.
03:31I mean, you know, there's an age at which you have to go...
03:34Yeah.
03:35Quite suddenly.
03:36Dip and check?
03:37Yep, absolutely.
03:38Dip and check.
03:39I've got to say, Sanjeev, this marks a real turnaround in your fortunes, I think.
03:42Do you think?
03:43Well, the first two shows, your prizes were absolutely shit.
03:46It's very personal.
03:47Mm-hm.
03:48Very.
03:49Do you know how he sent us a urine?
03:51Erm, no.
03:52We transferred it.
03:53LAUGHTER
03:54APPLAUSE
03:56OK, who's next?
03:59Anya.
04:00I've brought in, erm, my contraceptive coil.
04:03Oh, God.
04:04LAUGHTER
04:05Have a look at this, Greg, here it is.
04:07Oh, God.
04:08Look at it, look at it.
04:10And if she's up there, then who's flying the plane?
04:13LAUGHTER
04:14APPLAUSE
04:17Wait, what's the...the blue thing?
04:22So, there are strings at the bottom of it and they're basically so you can check
04:25it's in place every month.
04:27OK.
04:28You put a...I'm not going to...I don't...I won't tell you.
04:31Don't get all squeamish, you brought it in.
04:33LAUGHTER
04:34Put fingers into your zones.
04:36Your zones.
04:37And you feel for the strings and if the strings are there...
04:39Zones!
04:40LAUGHTER
04:41The reason that it's very unlikely that I was able to bring this in
04:44is because mine got lost within me.
04:47OK.
04:48And it took three doctors to get it out on separate occasions.
04:51Not working simultaneously.
04:53They were in different zones.
04:56Yeah.
04:57APPLAUSE
04:59Very impressive.
05:02Phil?
05:03I brought in a lovely clump of asbestos.
05:05Here it is.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:08What a lovely clump it is.
05:10Where did you get the incredibly dangerous material from?
05:14My flat is riddled with it and as long as you don't interfere with it,
05:20it's quite safe.
05:21Yeah.
05:22Now, I have caused a few issues by rambling around in my walls to pull it out.
05:26Yeah.
05:27Not least your own slow, painful demise.
05:30LAUGHTER
05:31But, you know, it's what a way to go.
05:33LAUGHTER
05:34I want school.
05:35LAUGHTER
05:36Urine, a coil and a death sentence.
05:40LAUGHTER
05:41So, in 1973 there used to be things called public information films
05:45and they would tell children to not get trapped in fridges
05:49and not stand in front of tractors.
05:51And there was one in 1973 called The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water.
05:55It was narrated by Donald Pleasance and it was about children
05:58that shouldn't play in near water because they would drown.
06:02And in that film there is a sign that says no swimming.
06:06And in my downstairs toilet I have the sign.
06:09Here it is.
06:10LAUGHTER
06:14So, there you go.
06:15That's surprising, isn't it?
06:16Lovely.
06:17Unfortunately, the horror bar has been raised so high...
06:21LAUGHTER
06:22It's very mundane now, isn't it?
06:24It's the first thing I see, I think, yeah, I could cope with that.
06:27LAUGHTER
06:28Hello, Maisie.
06:29I've brought in some...
06:30Nice and normal.
06:31Ah.
06:32Yeah.
06:33I've brought in all my doors.
06:34LAUGHTER
06:35APPLAUSE
06:37Yep.
06:38All our internal doors.
06:40LAUGHTER
06:41And I know what you're thinking,
06:42that's just a picture of doors with a made-up background.
06:45I can show you...
06:46Yep, here we go.
06:47This is my door in the flat.
06:49And I did that when my husband was out.
06:52LAUGHTER
06:53And then left.
06:54With the doors.
06:55So is the text I got from my husband.
06:58LAUGHTER
06:59Oh, my God.
07:01OK, so it's least likely to bring in from your home, Greg.
07:04Well, I mean, I really like your sign,
07:06but it's a framed photo, so he can only have one point.
07:09Yes. Fair enough.
07:10One point. Thank you, Therese.
07:12And it's incredible for me to say this,
07:13the one that horrified me the least,
07:15was the deadly asbestos.
07:17LAUGHTER
07:18Two points to Phil.
07:19I'm going to say that...
07:20..May...
07:22..Maisie's doors are equivalent to Sanjeev's urine.
07:25Fuck off!
07:27LAUGHTER
07:28I'm in so much trouble.
07:30And you won't get them back unless you win the episode.
07:32Oh.
07:33LAUGHTER
07:38OK, he hates it when I do this,
07:40but I do think they all are remarkable
07:42that you would bring all three of those things in,
07:44so I'll give you all five points.
07:45Yay!
07:46CHEERING
07:47One, two, five, five, five!
07:49OK.
07:50Could I have the trash, please?
07:51Yes, I have one right here,
07:52and it involves the greatest sporting team on planet Earth.
08:08PHONE RINGS
08:09Hi, Rhys.
08:10Hello.
08:11Are you coming all the way to me?
08:12Well, I'm coming to you, yeah.
08:13Lovely to see you.
08:14You can stand behind the barrel, that'll be great.
08:15What? A barrel?
08:16Ahem.
08:17Ahem.
08:18Make the most accurate little model...
08:20..of the Chesham...
08:21..Chesham...
08:22..the Chesham United mascot.
08:24So the locals call it Chesham.
08:26Ah.
08:27But if you've only just arrived there, Chesham is OK.
08:29OK, that's good to know.
08:31You may only see what is inside two of the toilet tents.
08:35Toilet... Oh, I thought it was spray tans.
08:37LAUGHTER
08:38Toilets.
08:39Yeah, five toilet tents.
08:40You have ten minutes.
08:41Your time starts now.
08:43Go generals.
08:45Go generals.
08:47Oh!
08:48Thank God.
08:50You know.
08:51The one thing I like is mascots.
08:53Well, I hate football.
08:55I don't know anything about it.
08:56So I can't do it.
08:57APPLAUSE
08:59OK, so Chesham United is the team that you're a director on, right?
09:05Mm-hm.
09:06Yeah, but there's no conflict of interest.
09:08We're just, um...
09:09Well, it's funny you should say that,
09:11but when I read that you were doing this,
09:13I genuinely contacted a lawyer friend of mine
09:15and he has informed me that you talking about it
09:18as the director of Chesham United
09:20is a clear breach of the UK code of broadcast advertising,
09:23the BCAP code, sections 2, 4 and 10.
09:26LAUGHTER
09:28And as a result, you genuinely could be in legal trouble.
09:31Ah.
09:32LAUGHTER
09:33You've never done that much research about any aspect of this show.
09:36I know.
09:37I was absolutely thrilled.
09:40LAUGHTER
09:41OK, well, there's a little joke here, but it doesn't feel appropriate.
09:43Here we go, then.
09:44And if you're a rap fan, you're going to love
09:46Reece, Anya and Phil's initials.
09:49LAUGHTER
09:51I'm hoping the Chesham United mascot
09:54will be in one of the three tenths.
09:56One of the five tenths?
09:58Oh, hello!
09:59LAUGHTER
10:01Ooh, OK, that's heavy.
10:04Lovely.
10:05What we got here is treasure chest.
10:07Lovely, that's nice.
10:08Chest.
10:09Chesham, no.
10:10What would be great now is if a child I didn't know I had came out.
10:14LAUGHTER
10:17There's an actual person there. That scared the crap out.
10:20Oh! Oh, my God, there's someone in there.
10:22Are you the Chesham United mascot?
10:24This is amazing.
10:25Have I nailed the task?
10:27Bear with me.
10:28Come on.
10:29Comedy, isn't it? Let's have a laugh.
10:31We've got a game of chess.
10:33Yes.
10:34This is...
10:35Ham.
10:36Chess.
10:37Ham.
10:38Oh, OK, I think that's the pig who's the mascot,
10:41and I've got to make a small pig.
10:43Oh, my God!
10:44He's got a plant pot on his head.
10:46Oh, it's a chess piece.
10:48Are you the mascot?
10:51I don't know what that is.
10:52I'm going to take it.
10:53You've either had a stroke or you're very much the mascot.
10:55Come on, baby!
10:56Daddy needs some new shoes.
11:01Go Generals.
11:02Yeah.
11:03I mean, what does it mean?
11:04How am I meant to, in isolation, understand what that means?
11:06That's the nickname of the football team.
11:07Well, I told you I hated football.
11:09Right.
11:10You know what?
11:11Please be careful.
11:15Oh.
11:16Right.
11:17Ooh, that's half your time up.
11:18That's half my time.
11:20Well, this is great, isn't it?
11:22I've got half the time left and now you're giving me scissors.
11:24And face paint...
11:26It's...it's...
11:27Pleasure.
11:28Pleasure.
11:29That could be his face.
11:33I'm going to make a football.
11:35Do you think the mascot on the football team is a football?
11:37Right, yeah.
11:38I see that it might not be.
11:41I'm changing it.
11:42I'm changing it to a helmet.
11:43I'm very aware at this very late stage
11:45that I may have taken it for granted
11:47that that is the Chesham County mascot.
11:49You're pretty insistent that it's a county.
11:55I may have got football muddled up with the Territorial Army.
11:58Five seconds.
11:59Oh, no!
12:00I'm from Chesham Town!
12:02Go Generals.
12:04APPLAUSE
12:10It's the usual bubbling rage during that,
12:12but my favourite moment of the whole task
12:15was just a moment of joy from you,
12:17where I think we got the answer to the question,
12:20what will we do when David Dickinson retires?
12:23LAUGHTER
12:24What we've got here is treasure chest.
12:26LAUGHTER
12:27LAUGHTER
12:28APPLAUSE
12:33Simple as that.
12:35So the pig was the mascot.
12:37What?
12:38Wow!
12:39It's the official Chesham mascot
12:40and the bear was a red herring.
12:41OK, so Phil came up with this.
12:42Oh, there he is!
12:44LAUGHTER
12:45There's that pig we all know and love.
12:47LAUGHTER
12:49Flaking onto the pitch.
12:50Incredible.
12:51Incredible.
12:52That would fool a seasoned farmer.
12:53LAUGHTER
12:56Reece came up with this.
12:59LAUGHTER
13:04APPLAUSE
13:06Have you just thought I'd be saying the sentence,
13:08that's not as good as Phil's?
13:10LAUGHTER
13:12Well, Anya did try to make the pig and she made this.
13:15Ooh!
13:18That is pretty good.
13:19Compare that to the real mascots.
13:20Yeah.
13:21Good.
13:22APPLAUSE
13:23Thank you.
13:24OK, my friends, that's the end of part one.
13:27More mascot monstrosities will be made
13:30after some adverts to highlight the downward spiral of humanity.
13:34Work, spend, die!
13:36Hello!
13:37Hello again.
13:38Welcome back to Tutsmaster.
13:39Hello.
13:40Sorry, Greg.
13:41As my gran always said, you can't hurry slurry.
13:42LAUGHTER
13:43Before the break, the rivals were trying to craft the most accurate version of the Chesham mascot.
13:58LAUGHTER
13:59And they could only peep inside two of the tents for tips.
14:01Finally, it's the turn of Sanjeev and Maisie.
14:04Now, Maisie has, of course, had a huge advantage for this one,
14:06having played football at the Chesham ground,
14:08genuinely where the mascot was first unveiled.
14:10This is the picture of Maisie with the mascot on the pitch.
14:12There we go.
14:13LAUGHTER
14:14You bastard.
14:15Go generals.
14:16That's a clue.
14:17Or a red herring.
14:18Whatever you want, Sanjeev.
14:19Bit creepy.
14:20Oh, that's got something big there.
14:21OK.
14:22No.
14:23These two.
14:24LAUGHTER
14:25I'm sorry...
14:26I'm sorry.
14:27I'm sorry.
14:28I'm sorry...
14:29I'm sorry.
14:30You bastard.
14:31Go generals.
14:32That's a clue.
14:33Or a red herring.
14:34Whatever you want, Sanjeev.
14:35Bit creepy.
14:36Ooh, that's got something big there.
14:37OK.
14:38That's got something big there.
14:39OK.
14:40LAUGHTER
14:41No, these two.
14:43LAUGHTER
14:48No, these two.
14:50C'est parti !
14:52Do you need that back up ?
14:54Right !
15:00Is there someone in that ?
15:02Ah !
15:04Oh no !
15:06Generals !
15:08Is there anything else ?
15:10God's sake !
15:12I was counting on you !
15:14Thank you very much !
15:16Not at all creepy !
15:20If you can sit yourself down it !
15:22OK !
15:24What's the number ?
15:26What's the number ?
15:28Pig ! Look for a four digit number !
15:30It'll be somewhere I'm sure !
15:32You wouldn't mind !
15:34Put in one hand !
15:36There !
15:38Please don't break the box !
15:40Yes !
15:42If you could just
15:44point that way !
15:46This hand
15:48And point that way !
15:50You need to salute like a general !
15:52Yeah !
15:53Yeah !
15:54You've got that !
15:55I see it !
15:56You're smashing it mate !
15:57Wait there !
16:02That's general !
16:04Go general !
16:06Come on !
16:08You've actually run next to the mascot !
16:14Which is a pig with a chess piece on its head !
16:18And you have no recollection of it !
16:20It was a busy week !
16:22That week !
16:23Other things on !
16:24A lot of pigs !
16:25A lot of chess pieces !
16:26A lot of pigs !
16:27Yeah !
16:28It's more common in the modern game than you'd think !
16:30You know !
16:31Your attempt would be worrying if it weren't for !
16:33Sanjeev !
16:34God forgive me !
16:35But someone's got to point it out !
16:36You made the pig do a Nazi something !
16:42They're all thinking it !
16:43No !
16:44That was the general's bit !
16:45The pig was leading the charge !
16:47Because you can't !
16:48They had no fingers !
16:49You couldn't point !
16:50So in summary !
16:51Yes !
16:52You created a new mascot !
16:53Involving the pig !
16:54The bear !
16:55And the donkey !
16:56No !
16:57I didn't create a new mascot !
16:58I involved the mascot !
17:00In a new tableau !
17:01Suggesting !
17:02Oh yeah !
17:03That's what you were asked to do as well !
17:06Evolve the mascot !
17:07Into a new tableau !
17:08Was that known in wording ?
17:09It was make the most accurate little model of the Chesham United mascot !
17:13Yeah !
17:14That was smaller than one I was going for !
17:17OK !
17:18Do you want to see all five mascots with a real mascot ?
17:20I mean not really !
17:21Yep !
17:22OK !
17:23The real one's bottom right !
17:24I'm surprised that Sanjeev isn't further right !
17:26LAUGHTER
17:31Sanjeev's made the mascot bigger !
17:34And more racially hateful !
17:36So one to Sanjeev !
17:38I'm not sure about racially hateful !
17:39I'm going to have to take a look at the diversity in mine !
17:44Compared to any other picture !
17:46It's a good point !
17:48So two to Maisie !
17:49Because she hasn't made it smaller !
17:51She hasn't recreated it !
17:52She's just taped a sign to it !
17:53I mean Rees's is definitely smaller than the original mascot !
17:57But has absolutely nothing to do with it !
18:00You're telling me that that is less like a pig than Phil's !
18:04Hey !
18:05He's got a point !
18:06I'm sorry but I have to say it !
18:07I think mine looks more like the pig !
18:09No !
18:10And it's even got a little chest piece on the top !
18:11What are you talking about !
18:12Look at me !
18:14I think if I squint at both of them !
18:16I see more of the shape of the mascot in Phil's !
18:18Thank you !
18:19Because you're looking at the full body !
18:20I'm looking at the full body !
18:21Yeah !
18:22Yeah !
18:23I get you !
18:24I take your point !
18:26But you can have three !
18:27Phil can have four !
18:28And five sweet points !
18:30To Anya Magliano !
18:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:35I think it's time for Scoreboy !
18:37Me too !
18:38Anya is the only one in double figures !
18:39She's in the lead with ten points !
18:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:45I've had a team fast !
18:46Well, get ready for one of my favourites of all time !
18:49Which is a big statement because I genuinely have almost zero opinions on anything !
18:53I'm a really bland guy !
18:55LAUGHTER
19:00We're back in here !
19:08Hi !
19:09Yep ! A couple of chairs there !
19:10Lovely !
19:11Hello !
19:12Hello !
19:13How's the team ?
19:14Really good !
19:15Good ! Bonding !
19:16Yes !
19:17Working well together !
19:18Yeah, we think so !
19:19So far !
19:20I think that's true !
19:21Right !
19:23Discover the name of the person in the lab !
19:26You must take it in turns to ask one question and the person may only say yes or no !
19:33The other team members must remain in this room until the questioner returns !
19:38Each person in your team must address the person in the lab by the correct name before the task is complete !
19:44Fastest wins ! Your time starts now !
19:48Now !
19:49I'll go off the question !
19:50OK !
19:51All right, cool !
19:52Right !
19:53Shall I go and ask if their name begins with a vowel ?
19:56Is that clever ?
19:57OK, yeah !
19:58Go on !
19:59You get thinking of your next question, Rhys !
20:01OK !
20:02A-E-I-O-U !
20:05Well, that's the main takeaway, isn't it ?
20:10The main takeaway from the introduction of this is that...
20:15Maisie and Rhys think vowels are clever !
20:18Rhys is incredibly keen to point out that he knows them !
20:22LAUGHTER
20:24Let's crack on !
20:25Let's see how clever they are !
20:26OK, well, we are going to start with a team of two !
20:28It is Rhys and it is Maisie !
20:30Here we go !
20:31Hiya !
20:36Hi !
20:37Does your name begin with a vowel ?
20:39No !
20:40No !
20:41So we've got all the consonants to play with ?
20:43Yep !
20:44What do you think the next question should be ?
20:45Are you any of the women in the song Mambo No. 5 ?
20:48I know them all !
20:49Good, OK !
20:50Monica, Jessica...
20:54Hello !
20:55Is your name any of the women in the song Mambo No. 5 ?
20:58No !
20:59No !
21:01How many have we eliminated out of women's names in the world ?
21:03I think 6 !
21:04Good !
21:05How can we narrow down women's names ?
21:08B to P ?
21:09Does your name begin with any of the letters from A to P in the alphabet ?
21:13Yes !
21:14Ooh !
21:15It does ! It does !
21:16B to G !
21:17Does your name... Hi !
21:19Does your name begin with B to G ?
21:20No !
21:21Race it to G to P !
21:24Ugh !
21:25Is it a K ?
21:26Does your name start with a K ?
21:27No !
21:28Thank you !
21:29Does your name begin with L ?
21:30Yeah !
21:31Yes !
21:32It's L !
21:33It's L !
21:34OK !
21:35Not Lisa.
21:36Lisa's in Mambo No. 5 !
21:37OK !
21:38Is it Laura ?
21:39No !
21:40Thank you !
21:41Is your name Louise ?
21:42Yeah !
21:43Yes !
21:44It's Louise !
21:45Louise !
21:46It's Louise !
21:47Stop the clock !
21:48Yes !
21:49OK !
21:50Now !
21:51Each person in your team must address the person in the lab by the correct name before the task is complete !
21:54Just say hi Louise !
21:55I will !
21:57Hi Louise !
21:59Hi Louise !
22:01No !
22:02It's not !
22:04It's not Louise !
22:05Eh !
22:07He's really angry !
22:08He's really angry !
22:09What does it mean ?
22:10She just said to me her name was Louise !
22:12What ?
22:13Don't say is your name Louise !
22:14I did that last time !
22:19Is your name Louise ?
22:20Yes !
22:25Rhys !
22:26And she said yes !
22:27Ugh !
22:28All the names in the world we got down to Louise and it's not !
22:30Yeah !
22:31Shall we maybe try to stay a bit calm ?
22:33Yeah !
22:34Yeah !
22:37Calm and collected !
22:39Hello Louise !
22:40Are you lying about your name ?
22:41No !
22:42OK !
22:43There's something here !
22:44Yeah !
22:45What are we missing ?
22:48Rhys !
22:49Could it be a different person in the lab ?
22:50RYCE !
22:51RYCE !
22:52RYCE !
22:53RYCE !
22:54RYCE !
22:55RYCE !
22:56RYCE !
22:57RYCE !
22:58RYCE !
22:59RYCE !
23:00RYCE !
23:01RYCE !
23:02RYCE !
23:03RYCE !
23:04RYCE !
23:05RYCE !
23:06RYCE !
23:07RYCE !
23:08What have you found ?
23:09They're twins !
23:10They're fucking twins !
23:11They keep swapping them out !
23:13Look behind the door !
23:14Look behind the door !
23:15They're swapping them out !
23:16Yes !
23:17RYCE !
23:18RYCE !
23:19RYCE !
23:20Yeah !
23:21I'm on to you now !
23:22RYCE !
23:23That's all right !
23:25I put a piece of sellotape on her !
23:28Does your sister's name begin with J ?
23:31No !
23:32No !
23:33Does your sister's name begin with a K ?
23:35No !
23:36You're not asking your sister's name as well, are you ?
23:38I'm going, is your sister's name ?
23:40Yeah, and I'm saying is your sister's name !
23:42Oh, fuck off then !
23:43That's one, isn't it ?
23:44You've been asking about her sister !
23:46It's very confusing when there's twins !
23:48Does your name begin with an L ?
23:50Yes !
23:51Oh, it does !
23:52It does !
23:53Yeah !
23:54I think I've got it !
23:55No !
23:56Is your name Lynn ?
23:57No !
23:58No, of course not !
23:59Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house !
24:02Is the second letter of your sister's name a consonant ?
24:06Yes !
24:07What about L-U ?
24:09That's a POWER !
24:10Oh, yes, that's right, yes !
24:11What else can you add on to Lynn ?
24:13To make a name ?
24:15Lindsay !
24:16Is it Lindsay ?
24:17Have we had it ?
24:18No ! Lindsay !
24:19With a Y ?
24:22Is your name Lindsay ?
24:23Yes !
24:24I've done the clock !
24:26That's it !
24:27We've done it !
24:28APPLAUSE
24:35And I have so many questions !
24:37I guess I'll start with, why was your go-to system mambo number five ?
24:42I just tried to think of something where there's loads of women's names in one go !
24:48It allowed us later in the game to eradicate Lisa from the situation !
24:51Yeah, but Lisa's not in the song !
24:52There she is !
24:53Monica, Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra, Mary and Jessica !
24:56All right, so she's not in the song !
24:58It doesn't matter, does it ?
25:00Even you reading them out like that made me want to go !
25:03A lot of the time, you appeared as someone who was scared of her partner !
25:16Rhys is terrifying !
25:17I'll just say that !
25:18At one point, almost to yourself, you went,
25:20he's really angry !
25:22He's not angry, he's...
25:24Disappointing !
25:27And then saying we were a good team !
25:28We were a good team !
25:29He's like, good cop, furious cop !
25:31Yeah !
25:33Well !
25:34Well !
25:35It looked like it took forever !
25:3644 minutes 30 !
25:37A lovely massage !
25:38Wow !
25:3944 minutes 30 !
25:4044 minutes 30 !
25:41What I'd like to think now, before I throw to break,
25:43is that you'd be able to play in Mambo number five !
25:47And I know you haven't got it,
25:49but what I'm going to do is I'm going to read the link to break,
25:51imagining that it is playing !
25:55OK !
25:56It's time for a much-needed break !
25:57We'll see you in a minute !
26:01Hello !
26:02Welcome back !
26:03It's part three, a taskmaster !
26:04And we're in the middle of a fiendistic, tricky team task !
26:06Mmm...
26:07It's not that tricky, Greg !
26:08I think some people are just thick !
26:09And at last !
26:10I've got an opinion !
26:11But now it's time to see how the team of three got on !
26:13It's Anya, Phil and Sanjeef !
26:15Oh, hello !
26:16Hi !
26:17Is your name...
26:18Thompson ?
26:19Oh, hello !
26:20Is your name...
26:21Thompson ?
26:22No !
26:23You all right ?
26:24Yeah !
26:25Is that my question ?
26:26Yeah !
26:27Out you come !
26:28Doesn't begin from A to G !
26:29Not A to G !
26:30Not A to G !
26:31It's not A to G !
26:32It's not A to G !
26:33It's not A to G !
26:34I think some people are just thick !
26:35I think some people are just thick !
26:36And at last !
26:37I've got an opinion !
26:38But now it's time to see how the team of three got on !
26:39It's Anya, Phil and Sanjeef !
26:40Oh, hello !
26:41Hi !
26:42Is your name...
26:43Thompson ?
26:44No !
26:45Are you all right ?
26:46Yeah !
26:47Is that my question ?
26:48Yeah !
26:49Doesn't begin from A to G !
26:51Not H, R or J !
26:52Either K or L !
26:53Yes !
26:54Doesn't begin with a K !
26:55So it begins with an L !
26:56Yeah !
26:57Is your name Louise ?
26:58No !
26:59It's not Louise !
27:01Is there a U ?
27:02No !
27:06Snooker Q !
27:07Snooker Clue !
27:10Right !
27:12Billy, it's Snooker !
27:14Q !
27:15Right !
27:16Is the second letter E ?
27:19No !
27:23Are any letters repeated ?
27:25No !
27:26There must be a quicker way to do this !
27:28I'll say, can you say yes when I point to the right letter ?
27:32That's good !
27:33That's really clever !
27:34There it is !
27:35The third letter of your name ?
27:37Yes !
27:38Oh, right, thank you !
27:39I think it is Louise !
27:40I think they're all lying !
27:41It's U !
27:42No, I asked her if there was a U in her name and she said no !
27:45I think she's a damn liar !
27:47The next letter is D !
27:49Loud !
27:50This isn't a name !
27:52It's called Loud !
27:54Yes !
27:55E ?
27:56It's an E !
27:58Loud !
28:00OK, I'll just go for it !
28:01It makes no sense !
28:02Is that wrong ?
28:03Yes !
28:04Guys, it's not !
28:05We've gone wrong !
28:06This has put me off meeting you people !
28:09The second last letter !
28:12Yes !
28:13OK !
28:14I asked about double letters before and you said there weren't any !
28:18That's a double letter !
28:19This is, like, insane !
28:21Why is nothing making sense ?
28:23What the hell is going on ?
28:25OK, guys, I said, are there clues as to how we can get your name somewhere ?
28:29And she said yes !
28:31Oh, Thompson !
28:32Thompson, I was just thinking Thompson Twins !
28:35Got it !
28:36Is it in any way connected to the Thompson Twins ?
28:39Yes !
28:40It is !
28:41She's a twin, they're twins !
28:42Twins are identical !
28:43I now have an idea of repetition !
28:44Is it a name that sounds like nonsense !
28:45Oh, She's going to be like !
28:50Please say something good !
28:51Oh, that's so amount !
28:54Oh God !
28:55Oh, hey !
28:56Hi !
28:58Hi !
28:59There are two of them are !
29:00They're all behind the curtain !
29:02Oh, they're twins !
29:04Oh, they're twins !
29:05oh
29:07i
29:09je
29:11je
29:13je
29:15je
29:17j
29:19je
29:21je
29:23je
29:25je
29:27je
29:29je
29:31Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
30:01APPLAUSE
30:03Something that sums up the whole attempt was
30:05Anya looking at Phil and going,
30:07please say something good.
30:09LAUGHTER
30:11While Sanjeev was just sighing periodically.
30:14I felt like...
30:16It felt like Sanjeev was babysitting us.
30:19You didn't have to find out both their names,
30:21you just had to say the name of the person in the lab,
30:23so you all got Louise, you never found out Lindsay's name.
30:25You took 19 and a half minutes longer than the other team.
30:28One hour and three minutes.
30:30One hour and three minutes.
30:32And also, at the end, Phil went in twice in a row
30:35and you didn't take your turns at the end.
30:37Where's that damn snooker cube?
30:39LAUGHTER
30:40This has got a sting for you, Sanjeev, hasn't it?
30:42Do you know what?
30:43You just have to sit back, let the kids play.
30:45LAUGHTER
30:47And, you know, at some point the parents will come back
30:49and you get paid and you go home.
30:51LAUGHTER
30:52Remarkably, Maisie and Rhys have definitely won,
30:54so well done you.
30:55Five points for Maisie and Rhys.
30:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:58Do they get any points?
31:01Oh, I think... I'll give you one or two,
31:03I just haven't decided which yet.
31:05OK, when are you going to do that?
31:06LAUGHTER
31:08I'll take one because it was my fault
31:12and I'd really like the other two to have two points.
31:15If you think...
31:16Wow!
31:17Do you know what, Phil?
31:18I agree!
31:19That is so lovely.
31:20Thank you.
31:21Wow!
31:22That is lovely and sportsmanlike.
31:23And if you want one point, I agree,
31:25the whole team should have one point.
31:27LAUGHTER
31:28LAUGHTER
31:29APPLAUSE
31:31One point for the team of three.
31:32Well done.
31:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:35Let's have another task.
31:36Thank you for the opportunity, Greg.
31:38Right then, everyone, come with me
31:39and let's have some good old-fashioned fun
31:41and games in the hutch.
31:43Ooh!
31:44MUSIC PLAYS
32:03Hiya.
32:05Traditional-looking game.
32:06It's a brand-new game.
32:07Oh, right, OK.
32:08Looks like an old game to me, but...
32:10Create your own Snakes and Steps board.
32:15You must add one snake and one set of steps.
32:18You must also add one mystery box.
32:21Ooh.
32:22The instruction inside the mystery box is up to you.
32:24You have ten minutes, your time starts now.
32:27Ow!
32:29Oh, he really will stretch, won't he?
32:31Oops.
32:32Yep.
32:33Right.
32:34Here we go.
32:35So, we're going to make some steps.
32:37They can grow back, anyway.
32:42I look at it like life.
32:44You go, oh, well.
32:45First put on that old property step.
32:49Here I go.
32:51Oh!
32:52Mystery box?
32:53And this is just any rule?
32:55Yeah.
32:56So, you've got to do whatever this says.
32:57Mm-hm.
33:03That's going in the mystery box.
33:04And what number's that going on?
33:05It's on number 70.
33:0747, 48, 61, 62.
33:09It's a mystery.
33:10Thank you very much.
33:11Excellent, thank you.
33:12Look forward to playing your game.
33:13Er, you're on your own.
33:14APPLAUSE
33:16Anya thinks that if you cut a snake in half, it grows back.
33:20It does?
33:21No, it doesn't.
33:22OK.
33:23A worm, sure.
33:24If you cut a snake in half, it dies.
33:27LAUGHTER
33:29They're basically the same sort of guy.
33:31The film Worms on a Plane is not a...
33:34APPLAUSE
33:40OK, Greg, it's time to supersize things while at the same time
33:42gaining further insight into Maisie Adams' memory.
33:45Ooh.
33:46Ooh.
33:47Oh, for fuck's sake.
33:48LAUGHTER
34:01Hello.
34:02Ooh.
34:03Oh.
34:04I remember this.
34:05Did it ring any bells?
34:06No.
34:07No, but I'm willing to venture into the unknown.
34:13Win, snakes and steps.
34:16This isn't the one I designed, though, is it?
34:18Well...
34:19Is it?
34:20Players will move from youngest to oldest.
34:22Players.
34:25Which players?
34:26So you're up against four other comedians.
34:28Oh, right.
34:29You must throw the die properly each time
34:31and you must not tamper with the die.
34:34If you land on the head of a snake, you must slither down to its tail.
34:37I know the rules.
34:38If you land at the base of a step, you've got to climb it.
34:41If you land on the mystery box, you must do what it says.
34:45First to land exactly on the finishing seat wins.
34:48Your time starts...
34:51..now.
34:52And you'll be going fourth in the game because of your age.
34:54Oh, Christ.
34:57Which number do you think you'll be throwing?
35:00The...thanks.
35:02None taken.
35:03So we've combined all their snakes and steps.
35:08That's what I was about to ask, just to clarify.
35:10Go for it.
35:11So that was all of them.
35:12That was all of them and one big bolt.
35:14It's worth noting that Phil's steps started at 11, 12, 13 and 14
35:19and went up to 71, the penultimate square,
35:23where his snake met the ladder and took you all the way back down
35:26to the beginning.
35:27But I presumed you would all think you would have to do it later on.
35:30None of you did.
35:32So, you have no recollection of that whatsoever.
35:35There was a lot of weeks between when I did the one in the hutch
35:38and coming to that race course.
35:40Yeah, three.
35:43OK, we're stopping for another break.
35:45In the final part of the show,
35:47someone will go home with all of the doors from Maisie Adams' home.
35:51LAUGHTER
35:52Don't worry, she won't remember.
35:54LAUGHTER
35:55We'll see you in a minute.
35:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:06Well, thank you, and welcome to the final part of the show.
36:10And if you think Tipping Point is exciting, get ready,
36:14because you're about to see a giant game of snakes and steps.
36:17And also, you're wrong about Tipping Point.
36:20That is bang out of order, Greg.
36:22Shout-out to Ben Shepard.
36:23Love you, bro.
36:24Seriously.
36:27Now, for the game we've all been waiting for,
36:28and we're going to see four of them playing it.
36:31That's everyone apart from Rhys.
36:33And Rhys knows why.
36:36Who do you think the youngest is, Anya?
36:38Me.
36:39You get to go first.
36:40Yes.
36:42Five.
36:44That's a five.
36:47Oh, that was lame.
36:48So, I'm here.
36:49Six.
36:51Come on, Daddy needs some new shoes.
36:52It's gone overboard.
36:55Six!
36:56That's good, that.
36:57Yeah.
36:58I think it's a six, innit?
36:59Why is it a six?
37:00Just nod the camera if you can see a six.
37:02We're on a six, baby!
37:03You take another six.
37:04One, two, three, four, five, six.
37:06That ladder goes all the way up to 71.
37:08Oh, brilliant.
37:09Five.
37:10Three.
37:11Oh, these are ladders.
37:12Oh, these are from mine.
37:13Oh, I know what's going to happen.
37:16What's going to happen, Phil?
37:17Can I throw this anywhere on the floor?
37:18Ideally, we'll sort of just in front of you here.
37:22OK.
37:23Oh, you've got to the base of some steps.
37:24Right.
37:25Yeah, you're at number 71.
37:26That was a good move.
37:27OK.
37:28Can I throw it here?
37:29Oh, unfortunately, you're actually on a snake there.
37:31Well, that's kind of useless.
37:32That's a daft game.
37:33I agree with you.
37:34Shall I just start again?
37:35Well, I think you have to, yeah.
37:36Why would you put a ladder up to where you're going to have a snake?
37:39You're going to have to ask Phil.
37:41Phil?
37:42Phil Ellis.
37:43Did he design the course?
37:44Because that's favouritism if you're letting some of us design it.
37:48Whoever put a snake there is an absolute moron.
37:51Oh, no, there's a snake.
37:52Phil's snake.
37:53Phil is a snake.
37:54Right, welcome back to the start.
37:56You do have an extra throw because you've got a six.
37:59Three.
38:00Three.
38:01Three.
38:02Three.
38:03Three.
38:04One.
38:05Two.
38:06Three.
38:07I think that goes to the end.
38:08Hey!
38:09That's Anya's ladder.
38:10Where does it take you?
38:11To the finish.
38:13Congratulations, Maisie.
38:14Why is it Anya's ladder, though?
38:16Don't worry about that.
38:18Come on.
38:19Congratulations.
38:20That is the end of Snakes and Steps.
38:22I feel sorry for the amount of set-up, for the amount of length of time that took, really.
38:26I feel guilty.
38:27I mean, I don't want to make you paranoid, but it is incredible, isn't it?
38:33I'm worried now.
38:34I think I need to get checked.
38:37So, Phil basically ruined everyone.
38:39But luckily, Anya had put one on number four, and they all threw a three, which got them to four, and they got to the end pretty quick.
38:44Very competitive.
38:45Mm.
38:46But why has Rhys been singled out?
38:49What happened?
38:50Brush your teeth.
38:51Grab a sleeping bag.
38:52It is time for Rhys's attempt, with thanks, of course, to Phil Ellis.
38:57Here we go.
38:58Oh, no!
38:59OK.
39:00Oh, you're at the base of a ladder.
39:02She goes all the way up to here.
39:05Oh, now I only need one.
39:08No, you don't, because where are you now?
39:10Isn't that the end?
39:11That's just one.
39:12That's the end, yeah, but there's something else on 71.
39:18Who put that there?
39:19Phil.
39:24Four.
39:25You're going up your own ladder.
39:27Oh, is it secure?
39:29No.
39:31Oh, a mystery box.
39:32Oh, look at it.
39:33Yeah, that's exciting.
39:34Urgh!
39:35Urgh!
39:37You are bitten by a snake.
39:39I need an antidote, and it's found on square nine.
39:42Do you remember who wrote that?
39:43I think I wrote it, didn't I?
39:4635.
39:48They're all doing this.
39:49Yeah.
39:52Urgh!
39:53I'm all right now.
39:54Great.
39:55Four.
39:56Ah, there's quite a big ladder.
39:57Oh.
39:58Oh, yep.
40:04Do you want a hand?
40:05No!
40:06I don't!
40:07You're going up Phil's ladder.
40:09But now I'm on Phil's snake.
40:11Yep.
40:12Does it activate again?
40:13It's not a single-use snake.
40:14Not a single-use snake.
40:16Oh, fuck.
40:17And then there's a five, okay?
40:19Three, four, five.
40:20Up to the top of there, down there.
40:22Four!
40:23Up the ladder down the snake, back to the start.
40:25There we go again.
40:26Up the ladder down the snake, back to the start.
40:28Done with this.
40:29One.
40:30Oh.
40:31Can this be one?
40:32Will I ever be able to end it?
40:33Yeah, just with the right attitude.
40:36What do you mean?
40:37What's that supposed to mean?
40:39I've got to roll again, but I'm going to look at this.
40:42Hey, mate.
40:43Read the next one.
40:45Read the next note.
40:47How's things?
40:49PTO.
40:51Read the next one.
40:52Who did this?
40:53Phil.
40:55Go back to the start.
40:57Him to deserve this.
40:58I just did an antidote thing.
40:59It didn't affect anybody.
41:03I'm sorry.
41:04Back down.
41:05Four.
41:06Nice.
41:07So you just need a five or a six?
41:08What did you say?
41:09Five or a six?
41:10Mm-hmm.
41:11Okay.
41:15Five.
41:16Five.
41:17Great.
41:18You cleared the ladder.
41:19Two.
41:20That's fine.
41:21Seventeen.
41:22Three.
41:23Six.
41:24Six.
41:25Thirty-three.
41:26Five.
41:27Four.
41:28Six.
41:29Two.
41:30Three.
41:31Five.
41:32Sixty-five.
41:33You've got to throw a seven to finish.
41:34I need a seven.
41:35Six.
41:39That's the worst you could have thrown.
41:42Is that again?
41:43I did tell you what you needed.
41:44The four is in this.
41:45It's just a bouncy stupid thing with the numbers on it.
41:48Spin down the stairs.
41:50Three.
41:51The base of Anya's ladder.
41:52And then I come all the way down.
41:54Follow it up and see what happens.
42:00Oh, my God!
42:01I do not...
42:02I do not...
42:11Can we swap seats?
42:14I mean, I've suggested there's a bumbling rage in you, Rhys, but I thought you were remarkably well-humoured, considering.
42:20Thank you, yeah.
42:23Except when you went, it's just a bouncy stupid thing with numbers on it.
42:27I thought maybe the cracks were starting to show then.
42:30It was a lot of bad luck in that.
42:31It looked like it took a lifetime.
42:33Yeah.
42:34I mean, it's not even about speed, it's the number of rolls, but he did take 42 minutes.
42:37So, same as with the twins, really.
42:40How many rolls?
42:4232 throws.
42:43And you did it in three and two and three?
42:46Yeah.
42:47Well, there's a system, you know, when you know.
42:50Avoid the snake, really.
42:54Not rocket science, mate.
42:56LAUGHTER
42:59Rhys gets one point.
43:00Two points to Anya, three throws, three points to Phil, but they both got two throws, so they get five points each.
43:06The winners are Maisie and Sam Jean.
43:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:13It is, of course, now time to head to the stage for the final task of the show!
43:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:20Who will be linking the task, though?
43:25Rhys Shearsmith, please.
43:29Turn your cup triangle completely upside down.
43:32Oh!
43:34Your upside-down cup triangle must be freestanding and you must obey the instructions written on each layer.
43:42If any cups fall, you must completely start again.
43:46You may not affect other people's cup triangles.
43:50Wait, what do you...? What does it mean?
43:52I'm not finished.
43:53Oh.
43:55Fastest wins.
43:58On your mark.
43:59Get set.
44:01And they're off.
44:03Right hand behind back.
44:04Right hand behind back.
44:05Oh, barracks.
44:07This is interesting.
44:09Right eye shut.
44:10Right eye shut.
44:11She's bypassed the first two instructions, there's no rules against that, I suppose.
44:15Right foot off the ground.
44:16What?
44:17Right foot off the ground.
44:18Right foot off the ground.
44:19Oh.
44:22So you need to rebuild your triangle.
44:23Get the fuck off!
44:24Well...
44:29Oh, Sanjeev.
44:30Mouth open, tongue out groaning.
44:32Uh...
44:33Oh, that's bad.
44:34Oh, that's...
44:35Oh, that's...
44:36Oh, that's bad.
44:37Oh, fuck!
44:38Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
44:39Oh, oh, oh, oh.
44:40If you could start again, please, Maisie, you could start again, please, Maisie.
44:41Oh, lovely.
44:45Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
45:15Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
45:45Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
45:47Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
45:49Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
45:51Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
45:53Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
45:55Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
45:57Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
45:59Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:01Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:03Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:05Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:07Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:09Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:11Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:13Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:15Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:17Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:19Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:21Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:23Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:25Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:27Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:29Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:31Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:33Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:35Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:37Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:39Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:41Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:43Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:45Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:47Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
46:49...to take home a vial of your own piss.
46:52We'll see you next time, but for now, here's the episode winner,
46:56Maisie Evans!
46:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Recommandations
47:29
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