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In Taskmaster NZ S06E06, a new group of comedians faces off in a series of outlandish challenges set by the Taskmaster. Watch as they attempt to impress with their wit and unconventional methods, often leading to hilarious failures and unexpected triumphs. Who will earn the coveted points and avoid the Taskmaster's scorn in this episode?

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Transcription
00:00C'est parti !
00:30Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:37My name is Jeremy Wells and earlier this year, in a secret conclave,
00:41I was selected to be the leader of the Roman Catholic Church.
00:45However, I traded that position in to become something far more powerful.
00:50And now, I am the Taskmaster.
00:55Joining me tonight are my faithful Cardinals, Alice Sneddon.
01:00Bree Thomas L.
01:02Jack Anset.
01:04Jackie Van Beek.
01:07And Pax Asadi.
01:10And by my side, as always, is a man who lives his life in the fast lane,
01:15except at the Glenfield Leisure Centre swimming pool,
01:19who is asked to move to the slow lane.
01:21It's Paul Williams.
01:22Before we get started tonight, I wanted to read a poem.
01:28Would that be okay?
01:29Yeah, absolutely.
01:39It's really beautiful.
01:40Shall we get into the prize task?
01:44Sure thing, Jeremy.
01:45Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in the best thing to snap.
01:51Pax Asadi, what did you bring in?
01:53I'm just going to show you.
01:54Chalk thins.
01:58They snap on multiple levels.
02:00They're thin, so they're very easy to snap,
02:02and they make a very satisfying noise when they snap.
02:05Second level is that this is my favourite biscuit.
02:09So they also snap my will to eat healthy.
02:15How long has the packet been open?
02:18That has been in my cupboard for a while.
02:21I don't think it would be a snap.
02:22No, it wouldn't.
02:23No, no, no, no.
02:23That has been opened recently.
02:25Oh, so now you know when it was opened.
02:27Yeah.
02:28Alice, what did you bring in?
02:30Physical things to snap are exciting,
02:32but there's nothing more exciting than sort of an emotional snap.
02:36And as a child, what I discovered is that
02:39the ability to provoke a reaction out of one of your siblings
02:42is, bar none, the best experience.
02:45So I've brought in my sister.
02:50Beautiful.
02:51Yeah, she doesn't look it, but she's a real bitch.
02:55Just so you understand the prize task,
02:57your sister is going home with someone tonight who wins the episode.
03:01Not only is she going home with someone tonight,
03:03but I will tell that person all of her deepest vulnerabilities.
03:08Brie, what did you bring in?
03:10Deep down, I'm a country girl at heart, through and through,
03:14which is why I know the best thing to snap is this.
03:19Oh!
03:21Wow.
03:23Wow!
03:27Do we snap a whip or do we crack a whip?
03:29We crack a whip.
03:30We definitely crack it.
03:31Paul, I'd love you to look up the definition of snap.
03:35A break, suddenly and completely,
03:38typically with a sharp cracking sound.
03:41Oh!
03:42Not bad.
03:43Not bad.
03:44Jackie, what did you bring in?
03:46I realised that by episode six,
03:48everyone would have been becoming very kind of snappy
03:51and kind of mean-spirited.
03:53So I have chosen...
03:54It's a snap and heat hand warmer
03:58that gives you a feeling of warmth
04:00that goes from your palm,
04:02up your arm,
04:03across kind of here,
04:04down around your left breast,
04:06into your heart
04:07and just makes you think,
04:08I'm so lucky to be here with you guys
04:10and not snapping at each other
04:12and just feeling like I snapped that,
04:14but now I've got a feeling of warmth in my heart.
04:16And what does it do to your breast?
04:18Okay.
04:19Yeah.
04:19Can I just say one last word?
04:20I just want to give one last word.
04:23One word.
04:26Positivity.
04:28That was the best ending you've had so far,
04:30I've got to say.
04:31At least it ended.
04:32Thank you, Jeremy.
04:32Jack, what did you bring in?
04:33I think the best thing to snap
04:36is, um,
04:37these guys.
04:38Um, so, um,
04:39using a $250 disguise,
04:43um,
04:44I snapped photos of all of these guys
04:48without them realising.
04:49Here is me, um,
04:51next to Alice coming back from the airport.
04:55I will not sign a release.
04:59Um, here is me at Pax's comedy show.
05:02Do you remember that?
05:04I genuinely remember looking at you
05:07thinking,
05:08f***ing guy looks weird.
05:11Here is, um,
05:13me seeing Jackie on a walk
05:14with her husband up Mount Eden.
05:16Oh!
05:17And I said to him after we passed you,
05:19I was like,
05:19whoa!
05:20And Jessie was like,
05:21what?
05:21And I said,
05:22the dude with the beard.
05:25The next, um,
05:26photo is, um,
05:27outside Bree's radio station.
05:29Um.
05:30How creepy is that?
05:32Jacklock.
05:33Yeah.
05:34Wow.
05:35This is gonna be easy.
05:36Pax, one,
05:37because you just brought a pack of biscuits in.
05:40Yeah, I knew it.
05:40Jackie, two,
05:42because you swung by Costco again
05:43on the way here.
05:45Three for Alice.
05:46I understand what that's like
05:47to make a sibling snap.
05:49That's quite a good feeling.
05:50Bree, cracking the whip.
05:51That's quite sexy.
05:53I'll give you four.
05:54And five for Jack,
05:55because that's very good.
05:56That's amazing.
05:56That's amazing.
05:57That's amazing.
05:58Oh, it feels good.
05:59Feels good.
06:00Yeah.
06:01Okay, I really am ready for another task.
06:03What have we got?
06:03Ding dong.
06:04Did anyone order a task?
06:06Well, here you go.
06:14Hi, Paul.
06:15Hello, Jackie.
06:16Great to see you again.
06:17Hi, Paul.
06:18Oh, my God, Paul.
06:20Hey.
06:20Hey, Paul.
06:21Oh, lunch.
06:22You shouldn't have.
06:23Sorry.
06:26Deliver this burger to the caravan.
06:28Easy.
06:29Fastest wins.
06:30No problem.
06:31You may not throw
06:32or disrespect the burger.
06:35Disrespect the burger?
06:37Don't ask.
06:37That's disrespecting the burger.
06:39I'm so sorry.
06:40Every time you wish
06:41to take a step with the burger,
06:42you must first complete
06:43one of the 50 steps
06:45on Paul's scroll.
06:47What scroll?
06:48Oh, that scroll.
06:49You may choose
06:50which numbered step
06:52from the scroll
06:53you wish to complete.
06:54You may not look
06:55at Paul's scroll.
06:57Don't look at it.
06:57Oh, so I can't even
06:58look at it like there?
06:59I'd prefer it if you didn't.
07:00Your time starts now.
07:07All right,
07:07who's leading the charge
07:08with this one, Paul?
07:09Stepping up to the plate first,
07:11it's Bree and Alice.
07:13Number eight.
07:13Spin around five times
07:14without falling over.
07:1613.
07:16Do heads, shoulders,
07:18knees and toes.
07:19Oh, shit, Paul.
07:20I do the song wrong.
07:22Heads and shoulders,
07:23knees and toes,
07:24we all clap hands together.
07:29Was that two steps?
07:31That was one.
07:32You stepped with that foot
07:33and then you stepped with that foot.
07:34I don't believe that to be true.
07:35Number six.
07:36Say your name backwards.
07:37Eerie.
07:39Number 12.
07:39Touch two things that rhyme.
07:41Red head.
07:42Number one.
07:43Smile.
07:4315.
07:46Balance something on your finger
07:47while reciting a nursery rhyme.
07:49Mary had a little lamb
07:50as we saw as white as snow.
07:52Wow.
07:52Seven.
07:53Recreate a famous painting
07:54using only your body.
07:5822.
07:59Draw yourself riding
08:00your favourite animal.
08:02It's a huge pig.
08:04Number two, please.
08:05Whisper your middle name
08:06ten times.
08:07Stephanie,
08:08Stephanie,
08:09Stephanie.
08:0934.
08:10Bury an item
08:11and give it a moving eulogy.
08:13What's that?
08:14It's your pen.
08:16Hey,
08:16touch two things that rhyme.
08:19Badge.
08:2140.
08:23Balance four stones
08:24on top of each other.
08:25What?
08:28Okay.
08:30It's balanced.
08:31Hold on,
08:31I haven't even moved
08:32the burger once.
08:33Yeah.
08:34What?
08:37Two.
08:37Sing your favourite vegetable.
08:39Asparagus.
08:41Ooh.
08:42Four.
08:43Sit down
08:44and then stand up.
08:48Tuck.
08:49Stop the clock.
08:50Thanks, Paul.
08:51I think there was
08:52a few things
08:53I could have done better.
08:54Like what?
08:55The start
08:55and the middle
08:56and the end.
08:59Alice,
09:00you weren't paying
09:00a lot of attention
09:01to the task
09:02because there was
09:03that point
09:03where you'd forgotten
09:04to move the burger.
09:06With all due respects
09:08to the burger,
09:09I thought,
09:09I'll let you have
09:10a little rest.
09:12You take it easy
09:13for a bit.
09:14I'll get the work done
09:15and then I'll bring you
09:16up to speed
09:16as and when needed.
09:19Brie,
09:19heads, shoulders,
09:20knees and toes.
09:21What did you do?
09:22Can you do it?
09:22What was it?
09:22What did you do?
09:24Heads and shoulders,
09:25knees and toes,
09:26knees and toes,
09:27knees and toes,
09:28heads and shoulders,
09:28knees and toes,
09:29we all clap hands together.
09:30It's in my brain,
09:32I can't get rid of it.
09:33Is that because
09:33in regional Queensland
09:34you have extra
09:35knees and toes?
09:37Let's talk times.
09:39Alice,
09:4012 minutes and 8 seconds.
09:41She completed 14 steps.
09:43Brie,
09:446 minutes and 9 seconds.
09:46She did 11 steps.
09:47This is a great opportunity
09:49for us all
09:49to get our 10,000 steps in.
09:51Why don't you wander
09:52around the living room
09:53while the ads are playing
09:54and we'll see you
09:54after a couple of minutes.
09:55Welcome back to Taskmaster.
10:11What's going on, Paul?
10:12Our contestants are
10:14delivering burgers
10:14to the caravan.
10:15Up next,
10:16Du Bois.
10:17Delivering
10:18a boiga.
10:2148.
10:22Find three gnomes
10:23in the forest.
10:24Oh, what?
10:2627.
10:27Perform a one-minute
10:28Shakespearean monologue
10:29about sandwiches.
10:31Oh, sandwich.
10:32Oh,
10:33your lettuce.
10:34Mmm.
10:35You want that, Romeo?
10:37Get that down,
10:37you dog.
10:39Thank you.
10:41Okay.
10:4250.
10:43Head to the forest
10:44on the far side of the lake
10:45and find the lost treasure
10:46of the Esperanza.
10:47All the way down there?
10:49Are you serious?
10:5032.
10:50Make a paper airplane
10:52and fly it over the caravan
10:53long ways.
10:54You've made many
10:55paper planes before.
10:56I think this is my third one
10:58in my entire life.
10:59Wow.
11:03Oh, I found an X.
11:05Is that it?
11:06Yeah.
11:06All for that.
11:07The rubber duck egg.
11:08I'm going to YouTube.
11:10Really good
11:11paper airplane.
11:14He has quite nice hands.
11:15Beautiful hands.
11:16Like just the right amount
11:17of hair.
11:1812.
11:19I'll go with 12.
11:20Touch two things that rhyme.
11:21Arse.
11:22Grass.
11:23Look at this, bro.
11:24Honestly, it feels like
11:25we're in Top Gear now.
11:26Are you Tom Cruise?
11:27Is he on Top Gear?
11:28Top Gear.
11:28You mean Top Gun.
11:29What's Top Gun?
11:3030.
11:31Sing a one-minute ballad
11:32about one of the other contestants.
11:34Jackie Van Beek.
11:36You are so sleek.
11:47Number 49.
11:48Float a marble on the lake
11:50for one minute.
11:51Four.
11:52Sit down and then stand up.
11:53It's going in there.
12:0012.
12:01Touch two things that rhyme.
12:03Grass.
12:04And
12:05do I have consent
12:07to touch your arse?
12:08Sure.
12:09Arse.
12:10I ask for consent.
12:11You could also just do your own.
12:17Stop the clock.
12:22Time.
12:23Thank you, Paul.
12:24I'll be in here
12:25doing my burger.
12:34Pax,
12:35do you regret
12:36doing the arse-touching?
12:37You're straight to the camera operator's arse.
12:39That cameraman had
12:40badonkadonk.
12:44It seemed to me
12:46that the tasks
12:47were getting
12:48more and more difficult.
12:49The tasks were ranked
12:51in difficulties.
12:52Why did you say that?
12:54It was implied.
12:57So one being easiest,
12:5950 being the hardest.
13:00And these guys liked
13:00quite high numbers.
13:02Yeah.
13:02That would explain
13:02why I went to the lake
13:03two times.
13:04So which Shakespearean character
13:07was it that said
13:08you like that
13:10Romeo
13:11get it down you
13:12your dog?
13:15Background
13:16peasants 10?
13:17obviously.
13:19I think we need
13:21some stats, Paul.
13:22So Brie was the fastest
13:23so far
13:24with 6 minutes
13:24and 9 seconds.
13:26Jack 21 minutes
13:27and 6 seconds.
13:29And Pax 36 minutes
13:31and 28 seconds.
13:32We spent
13:33a lot of time
13:34on that paperplay
13:35YouTube video.
13:36Right,
13:36we've got one
13:37delivery left, Paul.
13:38Yes, Jeremy,
13:39let's take a peek
13:40at the sleek Van Beek.
13:43Okay.
13:45That's disrespectful.
13:46Not to the burger.
13:4727!
13:48Perform a one minute
13:49Shakespearean monologue
13:50about sandwiches.
13:52For sooth,
13:53where if my bread is?
13:55Hark,
13:55there it is
13:56in the river
13:56near Ophelia.
13:57I dive.
13:59I dive in
13:59and capture her.
14:01I'm tumbling
14:02down the river.
14:03Tumbling down.
14:05That's a minute.
14:06Good.
14:06Okay.
14:06I'm ready.
14:07Jackie,
14:08you're back here.
14:08No, I'm not.
14:09That's what the flag is for.
14:11Oh, God.
14:12Okay.
14:15Are you disrespecting
14:16the burger?
14:17Certainly not.
14:19So these aren't steps?
14:20My feet aren't even
14:21touching the curb.
14:22Is that a step?
14:23No.
14:25Oh.
14:25Is that a step?
14:26No!
14:27Paul!
14:28None of these things
14:28are steps!
14:31Oh, God.
14:34Delivered.
14:40Did Jackie
14:41disrespect the burger Paul?
14:42I don't think so.
14:43She was holding it.
14:44She didn't crush it
14:45at any point.
14:46Yeah.
14:46You didn't seem
14:47to disrespect it?
14:47I didn't have any
14:48ill will towards it.
14:49Have some balls, man.
14:51Come on!
14:53How many steps
14:54did she take?
14:54Well, she only did
14:55one step.
14:56It was a Shakespeare
14:57monologue,
14:57and it was pretty good.
14:58Thank you.
14:59Jackie was four minutes
15:00and one second
15:01to deliver the burger.
15:03Okay, so where does
15:03that leave the points
15:04then, Paul?
15:05Do we accept Jackie's?
15:06Oh, absolutely.
15:07Thank you.
15:07Thank you.
15:07That means one point
15:09for Pax, two points
15:10for Jack, three points
15:11for Alice, four points
15:12for Brie, and five points
15:13for Jackie Van Beek.
15:16I feel like it's a good
15:18time to have a look
15:20at the scoreboard
15:21for the episode, Paul.
15:21It's pretty tight,
15:23apart from Pax,
15:24who's on two points.
15:26In first place
15:27with eight points,
15:29Brie Tomasell.
15:30Now the bad guys!
15:32Again!
15:32So we are now
15:34past the halfway point
15:35in the series.
15:36I think it'd be a good time
15:37to have a series score update.
15:39Leading the pack
15:40with 89 points,
15:41Brie Tomasell.
15:43Woo!
15:46Amazing.
15:47Okay, Paul,
15:48what's the next task?
15:50In this task,
15:50the aim of the game
15:51is to aim.
16:03Paul?
16:04Paul!
16:10Oh, f***!
16:13Oh, jeez!
16:15Oh!
16:16You're insane.
16:17You poked someone's eye out.
16:18You've got glasses on.
16:19I said someone's.
16:21Oh.
16:24What have we got here?
16:27Demonstrate exceptional aim.
16:30Best demonstration of aim wins.
16:32You may choose
16:33which attempt to submit.
16:34You have 30 minutes.
16:35Your time starts now.
16:37So I can choose
16:38what to aim for
16:39and what to aim with.
16:40Yes.
16:40Have I got access to a gun?
16:42No.
16:43Do we have a crossbow?
16:44I don't think we have
16:45a crossbow.
16:46A ball?
16:47Okay, should we go
16:48look for balls?
16:49Yeah.
16:50Okay.
16:50Let's go look for balls.
16:52You found yours yet?
16:56I'm interested, Alice.
16:57So if we did have a gun
16:59on site,
17:00what was your plan?
17:01Have Paul
17:02stand under a tree
17:04with an apple
17:05on top of his head
17:06and I'd just give it
17:08and I'd just give it my best
17:08one of those.
17:11All right, Paul.
17:11Which eagle eye contestants
17:13are we going to see first?
17:14Two athletes
17:15at the top of their game.
17:16It's Jackie and Alice.
17:19We'll just warm up
17:19for a few.
17:23Punished.
17:23I have set out
17:25five cones,
17:26one throw
17:27from each cone.
17:31Watch out!
17:32Number one.
17:34Oh, God.
17:39That's gone for four
17:40into the river.
17:41I will now illustrate
17:42my incredible aim.
17:47Yes!
17:49Oh, that's caught!
17:51Okay, you come stand here.
17:54Yes!
17:55So that's two of two.
18:00Number three.
18:01Are you ready, Paul?
18:02Yes.
18:02Okay, I need you
18:02to do one long note for me.
18:07Yes!
18:08I think pitch that up
18:09a little bit.
18:12Yeah!
18:15Are you ready, Paul?
18:16Mm-hmm.
18:19Fantastic.
18:20In front of the wicket, Paul.
18:21Actually, let's start
18:22without the bat.
18:25Let's go again.
18:28You can hold the bat
18:29this time.
18:29Left-handed.
18:30That was two in a row.
18:32For five of five.
18:39Five of five.
18:40I don't think
18:41it was five of five.
18:42Please, don't do that.
18:45Throw that!
18:47Three in a row.
18:49Patrick.
18:50Do you want a bowl?
18:51Maybe one.
18:52Okay.
18:55She really got a hold of that.
19:01It's too short, Paul.
19:02Don't bounce her
19:03with the first delivery.
19:04What do you think?
19:05Pitch it up.
19:12Jackie,
19:13you seem surprised
19:14that Paul questioned
19:15your assessment
19:15of five out of five
19:16considering that
19:17your main way
19:18of getting the duck
19:19off his head
19:19was to hit him
19:19in the face
19:20for the ball.
19:20I think it was
19:22five of five, wasn't it?
19:23It was five out of 15.
19:26So in terms of you, Alice,
19:28just looking at the way
19:29that you came in,
19:30you got nice and side on,
19:31I could see the seam
19:32was upright.
19:33Not only was the line good,
19:34that length was outstanding,
19:36very tidy.
19:36And I couldn't disagree
19:38with anything you say.
19:40Can I just say sorry
19:41because I am getting a vibe
19:43that you might be
19:44a cricket fanatic
19:45and not so much
19:45a kind of duck archery fanatic.
19:48But there's a lot
19:48of like terminology
19:49I don't understand.
19:51All right.
19:51I'd like to see
19:52a few more tosses
19:53if that's okay, Paul.
19:54Yes.
19:54Two more tosses.
19:56It's Breein Pax.
19:57Attempt number one.
20:00Success.
20:01We can do better.
20:12So sorry, Paul.
20:13I just have to commit.
20:16Go and end up!
20:18Paul!
20:19Get some!
20:21That's two in a row.
20:22Do you want to see
20:23if you can get a third?
20:25Oh, so sorry.
20:27Should I try a golf ball
20:29because that's even more
20:29impressive because it's small.
20:31I'm really legitimately sorry.
20:38Oh!
20:43Oh!
20:48Can you stop flinching?
20:49It's putting me off.
20:50Sorry.
20:55The pinnacle of TV.
20:59That's it!
20:59That was so close.
21:08All right.
21:09Here we go.
21:14Are you joking?
21:15Did that go in?
21:16Yep.
21:16Yes, Paul!
21:22Straight down the pipe!
21:25Huzzah!
21:25Paul, why did you have a hat and glasses on
21:34for Jackie's task
21:36but not with what
21:38Pax was doing to you?
21:40Well, Jackie put those on me
21:41for protection.
21:42I protected Paul!
21:43Very nice.
21:44Why did he need to be there
21:46with that thing in his mouth?
21:47I don't f***ing know, man!
21:49I want to say
21:50that the hole
21:51of the cone
21:52was only like
21:54two to
21:55one and a half centimetres
21:56bigger than the ball.
21:57You designed the task.
22:00You're such a smart man.
22:02I think we need some stats, Paul.
22:04So Pax threw
22:05124 throws.
22:07Jeez, did he?
22:07A few of which
22:08hit me in the head.
22:10Brie.
22:11Only 38 attempts,
22:12four of which
22:13went into the bath.
22:14Yeah, good arm,
22:15by the way, Brie.
22:15Thank you.
22:16I don't know about the dancing
22:17but the arm was good.
22:19All right.
22:20Well, we'll make a base camp here
22:21and aim for the summit
22:22of this task
22:23on the other side
22:24of this ad break.
22:25We'll see you in a tick.
22:26APPLAUSE
22:36Welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:42We're currently finding out
22:43which of our contestants
22:44has the best aim
22:45and so far
22:47half of them
22:47seem to be aiming
22:48for Paul's face.
22:50Who have we got next, Paul?
22:51He aims to please.
22:52It's Jack Ansett.
22:54Mmm.
22:55Do you have good aim?
22:56No, awful.
22:56The aim isn't just
22:58aiming for something, is it?
23:00You know, you could have an aim
23:01to, like, inspire youth.
23:03How would you inspire youth?
23:04We could go to
23:05the local primary school
23:06and I could do a
23:08motivational chat
23:09in their classroom.
23:10There is a school.
23:11Yeah.
23:12But I'm not sure
23:12if we'd be allowed
23:13to film in it.
23:14Might be able to get you near it.
23:16Yeah.
23:17Why not?
23:19All right.
23:20Love it.
23:29Ahem.
23:31Believe you can
23:33and you're halfway there.
23:34Nothing is impossible.
23:37The word itself
23:38says
23:39I'm possible.
23:40What does that mean, though?
23:43It means that
23:44don't say things
23:45are impossible
23:45because the word
23:46impossible
23:47has I'm possible
23:48in it.
23:49But that doesn't make sense.
23:49I am possible.
23:51Live, laugh, love.
23:53That's why my mum
23:53goes by.
23:54It's good to be good
23:56and awful
23:56to be awful.
23:58Okay, well, I think
23:59I've inspired
23:59the youth of tomorrow.
24:01Well, let's get out of here
24:02before the police show up.
24:07Okay, so
24:08you read some
24:09motivational quotes
24:10to a fence.
24:11Yeah.
24:12We did not film them,
24:13but there were children
24:14looking through
24:15the classroom window
24:16going,
24:17there he is,
24:18there he is.
24:18and I think
24:20they heard me.
24:22As someone who was there.
24:23No, no.
24:25I don't think
24:26they could hear him,
24:27but they did see him.
24:28One point for Jack
24:29talking to a fence.
24:31The crowd is
24:32turning on you.
24:33Two points for Jackie
24:37for chucking stuff
24:39at your face.
24:40Three points for Pax
24:41for chucking stuff
24:42at your face.
24:44Four points for Brie
24:45because that's a good arm
24:46and you've got to say
24:47Alice Snedd and
24:48Tidyline and Link.
24:51Have you got another task
24:52for us, Paul?
24:53I do, Jeremy.
24:54And this task is novel
24:55if you get my gist.
24:57Hi, Paul.
25:07Hello, Jackie.
25:08Hi, Paul.
25:09Hello, Pax.
25:12Give it a hoon, eh, Paul?
25:14Get the gist of this book
25:16and then adapt it
25:17for the screen.
25:18You have two minutes
25:19to get the gist.
25:21One hour to film
25:22your adaptation.
25:23Most faithful adaptation
25:24wins.
25:25Your time starts now.
25:27The Scarlet Pimpernel.
25:29What's a pimpernel?
25:30Like a pimple.
25:31Paris, 1792.
25:34Fisherman.
25:34Fisherman?
25:35Secret orchard.
25:37That's a good keyword
25:38to your vengeance.
25:39How does it end?
25:40So it ends in a wedding.
25:41Might be a wedding
25:42on a yacht, Paul.
25:43At Lord Grenville's Ball.
25:45Shhh.
25:52What did you learn?
25:53It's some kind
25:54of French Revolution
25:55thing.
25:56And her first name's
25:57Scarlet.
25:58Okay.
25:59And her last name's...
26:00What's the book called?
26:04Can't say.
26:04Pimpernel?
26:05I don't know what
26:05a pimpernel is,
26:07but I took from
26:08that pimple.
26:09Have you seen the film?
26:10I saw it when I was
26:12a teenager
26:13and it was
26:14a sleepover.
26:15I was really trying
26:15to impress this girl
26:17that I quite liked.
26:18She was a
26:19nine-year-old
26:20Maori girl.
26:22Sporty.
26:22Okay.
26:23Maybe she's sunburned
26:24or something?
26:25And that's why
26:25she's scarlet?
26:26Yeah, okay.
26:27Is it possible to go black
26:28and white except for her face?
26:30Yes.
26:31Well, Schindler's listed.
26:32Okay, Paul.
26:37So none of us
26:38have read
26:39The Scarlet Pimpernel.
26:40The Scarlet Pimpernel?
26:41Is that what it's called?
26:42Yes.
26:43Okay, that's a bad start.
26:44So just a little bit
26:46of background.
26:48The Scarlet Pimpernel
26:49is a man
26:49who leads
26:50a double life.
26:51One as a useless
26:52English nobleman
26:54and the other
26:54as a hero
26:55who rescues
26:56French aristocrats
26:57from the guillotine
26:58during the reign of terror.
27:00This is gonna be
27:01real interesting.
27:02Okay, Paul,
27:03who are we gonna see
27:03first?
27:04Up first,
27:05it's Jacques Ansett.
27:07Oh, Nick.
27:09Ah, je suis nazy-day
27:11in my secret orchid.
27:13Ah, what a...
27:14is that
27:19not beloved?
27:24And that is
27:24the fisherman.
27:26She will regret this
27:28for the rest of her days.
27:30I, Lord Grenville,
27:34invite you
27:35to the Parisian Ball.
27:38that's hot.
27:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
27:42That's a...
27:42pretty crazy, uh,
27:45day we had
27:46in the orchard
27:46the other day.
27:47We?
27:48Yeah, we, yeah.
27:49You and me, yeah.
27:50I see.
27:51Yeah.
27:51Oh, my esteemed guests.
27:55Welcome.
27:57There's nothing fishy
27:58going on here.
27:59Nothing fishy
28:00at all
28:01going on here.
28:02I saw you
28:03in the secret orchard.
28:05What?
28:05With him.
28:07I'm going to react badly now.
28:09No.
28:11Ah.
28:13Mmm.
28:20Oh!
28:23Vengeance so sweet.
28:24Oh!
28:25Why you do that?
28:27Are you all right?
28:29Oh!
28:30That's my ick.
28:32Red noses.
28:34Ha, ha, ha, ha.
28:34See ya.
28:35He's never going to want you ever again,
28:37the fisherman.
28:38I forever now brand you with the name
28:40the Scarlet Pimple now.
28:44We'll see.
28:46Au revoir.
28:57Credit.
28:58Where credit's due.
28:59Strong performance from the main French character
29:01played by you.
29:02Thank you.
29:02Yeah, I'm not going to say
29:03even I know what was going on.
29:06I think it was pretty bloody good.
29:08In fairness to you,
29:09I'm almost too afraid to criticise it
29:11because I can't remember what I did.
29:14Who's up next, Paul?
29:15Here's a silent movie
29:16from Alice Sneddon.
29:17Thanks, Paul.
29:31Thanks, Paul.
29:35C'est parti.
30:05C'est parti.
30:35C'est parti.
30:37C'est parti.
30:39C'est parti.
30:41C'est parti.
30:43C'est parti.
30:45C'est parti.
30:47C'est parti.
30:49C'est parti.
30:50C'est parti.
30:51C'est parti.
30:52C'est parti.
30:53C'est parti.
30:54C'est parti.
30:55C'est parti.
30:56C'est parti.
30:57C'est parti.
30:58C'est parti.
30:59C'est parti.
31:00C'est parti.
31:01C'est parti.
31:02C'est parti.
31:03C'est parti.
31:04C'est parti.
31:05C'est parti.
31:06C'est parti.
31:07C'est parti.
31:08C'est parti.
31:09C'est parti.
31:10C'est parti.
31:11C'est parti.
31:12C'est parti.
31:13C'est parti.
31:14C'est parti.
31:15C'est parti.
31:16C'est parti.
31:17C'est parti.
31:18C'est parti.
31:19C'est parti.
31:20C'est parti.
31:21C'est parti.
31:22C'est parti.
31:23C'est parti.
31:24C'est parti.
31:25C'est parti.
31:26C'est parti.
31:27C'est parti.
31:28C'est parti.
31:29C'est parti.
31:30C'est parti.
31:31C'est parti.
31:32C'est parti.
31:33C'est parti.
31:34C'est parti.
31:35C'est parti.
31:36C'est parti.
31:37C'est parti.
31:38C'est parti.
31:39C'est parti.
31:40C'est parti.
31:41C'est parti.
31:42C'est parti.
31:43Parasat... Pets-a-sati.
31:47Je ne veux pas te détruire, tu sais ça, bien?
31:50Tu ne veux pas me détruire.
31:51Je dois faire, parce que je suis britannique.
31:54Je ne vais pas...
31:55Je ne veux pas le britannique.
31:56Pourquoi est-ce que votre fille ici ?
31:58C'est bizarre pour elle d'être ici quand je détruire vous.
32:01Elle va partout avec moi.
32:03Papa.
32:06Qu'est-ce que là ?
32:07Quoi ? Qu'est-ce que c'est ?
32:09Oh, blimey.
32:13Papa, nous avons pris.
32:15Oui, nous avons fait.
32:17Qu'est-ce que nous faisons maintenant ?
32:18Ce que nous étions de faire, c'est être français.
32:41C'est tellement fun être français.
32:43Oh, I caught you.
32:45Il y a juste une chose pour nous faire.
32:48Baguette fight.
32:49All right, vous êtes en.
32:51Baguette fight, c'est ça.
32:52Honga !
32:53Stop !
32:57Hold on !
32:58Stop ça !
32:58Quoi ?
32:59Je vais vous dire quelque chose.
33:01Je vais vous dire quelque chose.
33:01Qu'est-ce que c'est ?
33:01Je suis en love avec votre fille.
33:04Oh, mon Dieu, vous êtes en love avec ma fille.
33:07C'est bon.
33:08C'est bon.
33:09C'est bon.
33:09C'est bon.
33:10C'est bon.
33:10C'est bon.
33:11C'est bon.
33:12C'est bon.
33:13C'est bon.
33:14Il semble bizarre, mais c'est un grand homme.
33:22Donc les choses que vous pensiez de faire
33:25à regarder l'Eiffel Tower, à la voir, à la voir, à la voir, à la voir, à la voir, à la voir, à la voir, à la voir, à la voir.
33:31Le voyage d'Europe.
33:32Les n'ont pas de froid qui m'a dit French.
33:35Non.
33:37Je n'ai jamais eu l'ai dit « non ».
33:40C'est pas votre fille, c'est votre femme qui est en train de faire ?
33:44Oui, ils sont français, ils adorent incest !
33:48Qui est-ce que c'est ?
33:50Representant le régime de Brie, c'est Brie !
33:54...
33:57...
33:58...
33:59...
34:00...
34:01...
34:02...
34:03...
34:04...
34:05...
34:06...
34:07...
34:09...
34:10...
34:11...
34:12...
34:13...
34:14...
34:15...
34:16...
34:17...
34:18...
34:19...
34:20...
34:21...
34:22...
34:23...
34:24...
34:25...
34:26...
34:27...
34:28...
34:29...
34:30...
34:31...
34:32I told you why we can't get married.
34:35We're related.
34:36It'd be weird and shit.
34:38I knew you'd say that.
34:40And so I've been researching our family tree.
34:42It turns out we are all cousins.
34:45What?
34:46Everybody on this boat.
34:49I guess if you guys are cool with it,
34:51I'm happy to have a family reunion.
34:53You know what I mean?
34:54Not really.
34:55Like, we just make it a cousin three-way.
34:58Colour me interested.
34:59I'm keen.
35:00You're keen for that?
35:01Yeah.
35:01I'm happy.
35:03All right, come on, you big bitch.
35:04Let's go.
35:05Just three?
35:06Okay.
35:06Come on, Lady Blackney.
35:09The Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:17Okay, Bree, so according to you,
35:19the Scarlet Pimpernel was set on a boat in Bermuda
35:22in the early 1900s.
35:25Like Alice was saying, there was loyalty.
35:27Please don't drag me into this.
35:29Romance?
35:31Romance?
35:31There was definitely romance.
35:32Well, the romance was a cousin on Cousin Orgy.
35:35Yeah.
35:36And there would be people watching right now
35:38that are sitting next to their cousin,
35:41saying, wow.
35:42What they'd be saying according to you is,
35:45come on, you big bitch, let's go.
35:50Okay, who's our last Pimpernel?
35:53She's our only contestant who has some existing knowledge
35:57of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:59It's Jackie Van Beek.
36:00My favourite place in the world.
36:03Video easy, Johnsonville, Randy.
36:05I love it as well.
36:06What about this one?
36:07Oh, it's called the Scarlet Pimpernel.
36:10It's about the French people
36:11and then, oh, there's a marriage.
36:14Oh, I love romances.
36:16Do you like romances, Randy?
36:18I love romance.
36:19Oh, this sounds amazing.
36:21Oh, my gosh, can you feel it?
36:24It's shaking.
36:24Oh, don't lose your grip.
36:26I can't hold on, Jackie.
36:27But you're sporty.
36:29Oh, my gosh.
36:38Well, we seem to be in another time and place.
36:40Oh, it's freezing.
36:41This doesn't really make sense, though,
36:42because, I mean, I thought we were meant to be in France.
36:46Oh, God.
36:48I think I've got to go.
36:49Wait, the book?
36:50Yes.
36:50What, the DVD, the VHS?
36:52The VHS.
36:55Go.
36:55Get it.
36:56Oh, God, it's going.
36:58It's going.
36:59Randy!
37:04Randy!
37:06Wait a minute.
37:07You're not Randy.
37:08Bonjour, mademoiselle.
37:09I am the Scarlet Pimpernel.
37:11But I'm looking for Randy,
37:12my friend from Johnsonville from 1984.
37:14I do not know what you're talking about.
37:16All I know is we have to go to the ball now.
37:18Why would I go to the ball with you, though, Scarlet Pimpernel?
37:21Because I love you.
37:22Oh, my God.
37:23And I want to marry you.
37:24Oh, no, but my heart's with Randy.
37:26I do not care about this.
37:27All I care about is you.
37:29My heart's with Randy.
37:30I've just got to find a way to get back to Johnsonville.
37:32So, see you later, buster.
37:34Au revoir!
37:35Au revoir.
37:38Now, how will I get back to Johnsonville?
37:41What an ending.
37:48That's where it ends?
37:50What an ending.
37:51Okay, I've got a couple of questions.
37:53Where did you go in the...
37:54Where was the intermediate place with the beer?
37:57Yeah, Arctic.
37:58It was the Arctic.
37:58Why were you in the Arctic?
37:59Because portals are crazy.
38:01I absolutely loved it.
38:04I was riveted.
38:05But it is unbelievable that you're the only one of us with pre-existing knowledge.
38:10Okay.
38:10None of them had anything to do with the Scarlet Pimpernel.
38:13I kind of have to vote on things that were the closest to the Scarlet Pimpernel.
38:17I think in that context, I think, Brie, the fact that you set yours in Bermuda in the 1900s
38:23probably means that you get one point.
38:24Alice, there was no mention of the Pimpernel at all, so you get two points.
38:29That is an oversight.
38:31Three points to Jack because there was some French stuff in there.
38:35This might seem crazy, but I'm going to give four points to Jackie.
38:39What?
38:40Because it had the Scarlet Pimpernel in it.
38:42How many times in that book does a portal pop up?
38:45I know.
38:45And finally, I'll give five points to Pax because there was a lot of French stuff going on
38:50and there was some escaping going on.
38:55Time for an air break.
38:56It will take a few minutes, so it should be enough time for you at home to speed read War and Peace.
39:02I think that's a good idea.
39:02We'll see you in a moment.
39:03Thank you.
39:15Can I get a scoreboard update, please, Paul?
39:20Currently a three-way tie, all on 13 points.
39:24Jackie, Brie and Alice.
39:25I've got to say, Paul, what a great group of contestants we've got this season.
39:33And do you know, they're all great listeners.
39:35Very true, Jeremy.
39:37I have a fun story, actually.
39:39Very fun story.
39:40You piece of shit.
39:43I don't know what?
39:44What do you know that I don't know?
39:45I don't know.
39:45What have you just done?
39:46What have you just done?
39:47Let him finish.
39:48During their tasks at the house, there was a small technical difficulty.
39:53And during that technical difficulty, I told them each an identical story that they all listened to and loved.
40:01Oh, no.
40:01Could you please put on the air muffs that are under your seats?
40:04Okay.
40:04Oh, no.
40:05This is like torture.
40:06Oh.
40:07Enjoy my story.
40:10Two Fridays ago, I went to Whangarei.
40:13Oh.
40:14And I went to the supermarket.
40:16Yeah.
40:17Then this elderly woman approached me.
40:19Okay.
40:20Wow.
40:20She wasn't elderly.
40:21She was...
40:22My age.
40:22She was 63.
40:24Okay.
40:25A little bit older than me.
40:27And she had this wild pink and purple dress on.
40:30And she asked if I could reach the top shelf.
40:34God, that made you feel good.
40:35And get the boysenberry jam.
40:36Uh-huh.
40:37But then when I got it down, she asked how much it was.
40:40And it was $5.90.
40:42And she only had $3.
40:44I didn't know what to do.
40:45Yeah.
40:46I was like, would the strawberry jam suffice?
40:50Yeah.
40:50So the strawberry jam is only $3.
40:52Right.
40:53Which is how much money she had.
40:54But she didn't like strawberry jam.
40:56So she just left.
40:57Are we ready?
41:04Yes, sir.
41:04I would like a pen and paper.
41:06How come?
41:07Because I want to write down your stupid little story.
41:10I didn't tell a stupid little story.
41:11You did.
41:12About a 63-year-old woman in a bread aisle.
41:15I told an interesting story.
41:16That wanted some jam that cost $5.90.
41:19But she only had $3.
41:20So then you got her the strawberry jam and you were in Whangaday.
41:24You were in Whangaday two weeks ago.
41:26Where you met an elderly woman who was 63 years old.
41:30And she wanted some jam.
41:32But she only had $3.
41:35Okay.
41:36Wasn't that lovely?
41:37You guys can all take your earmuffs off now.
41:39Wow.
41:40And head up to the stage for the final task.
41:43Oh my God.
41:47Okay, Paul.
41:48Who's reading the task tonight?
41:50Pax Asadi.
41:51Recount Paul's story.
41:52Most accurate recounting wins.
41:55You have 30 seconds to recount.
41:57Headphones on and sit down, please.
41:59Oh my God.
42:02Jack?
42:03For Christmas, I would like...
42:05Sit in the chair.
42:08Yeah, I regret that too.
42:11Paul said to me, in the strictest of confidence...
42:17He said...
42:25He was in London with his flatmates.
42:29In my mother's negligee.
42:31And one of them came into his bedroom late at night.
42:34They didn't have a family dog, so they made him the family dog.
42:39And then they tried to milk him.
42:42They were halfway through and then he was like...
42:44My mother died...
42:46In a horrible parachute crash...
42:50In Nicaragua.
42:55But then it all worked out fine and he's really happily married now.
42:58And that is pretty much the story.
43:01Thank you.
43:08Alice.
43:09I believe the story is about how Paul went to Whangarei for two weeks.
43:14He went to a supermarket.
43:15It might have been in New World.
43:17And there was a lady there and she was wearing a top.
43:20It might have been purple.
43:22And I think something was cheaper at the supermarket in Whangarei
43:25than it was at the supermarket in Auckland.
43:27And I can't remember how much.
43:28I'm going to say $2.15.
43:30And then Paul had a great time.
43:33Did I do it?
43:45Killing me that I can't hear.
43:47It's the greatest moment of my life.
43:51Alright, everyone can take their headphones off
43:53and we'll head down to score it.
43:59So what do you reckon about that, Paul?
44:00I mean, one of them was pretty good.
44:02I mean, I would say one point to everybody other than Alice,
44:08who I think probably deserves five points.
44:11Okay.
44:11Wow.
44:12I'll take it.
44:13Well done.
44:14Thank you.
44:16So in terms of the episode scores, Paul, where are we sitting?
44:19The winner of episode six with 18 points, Alice Sneddon.
44:27Congrats.
44:28Congratulations, Alice.
44:29Please head up to the stage and claim your snappable things.
44:36See you next time.
44:37Nā te wā.
44:41C'est mon casque!
44:48Merci.
44:55C'est une de la grande histoire de TASKMASTER.
44:58Non, non, non, non!
45:00Je me sens déflé.
45:02Je me sens cool dans tous ces TASKMASTER.
45:04Oh, c'est vrai.
45:05Je suis une excellente sportive.
45:08Razzle, razzle, baby.
45:12Yes!
45:13Yes!
45:14Finished.
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