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Taskmaster Season 21 Episode 6

Taskmaster Season 21, Episode 6 delivers another hour of unpredictable challenges and hilarious antics from the show's beloved comedians. The contestants face a series of bizarre tasks designed to test their ingenuity, problem-solving skills, and tolerance for absurdity.

This episode sees the group tackling creative endeavors and physical feats, pushing their collaborative and individual limits. Expect masterful (and sometimes disastrous) attempts at tasks that require lateral thinking and a willingness to embrace the ridiculous. The unique dynamics between the contestants are on full display as they navigate the notoriously difficult challenges set by Taskmaster Greg Davies and his loyal assistant Alex Horne.

Prepare for surprising strategies and unexpected outcomes as the comedians grapple with tasks that defy easy solutions. The episode culminates in a thrilling reveal of who has impressed Taskmaster the most this week and who has fallen short of expectations.

#Taskmaster #ComedyChallenge #TVShow
Transcript
00:07A study in human behavior that has Charles Darwin turning in his grave.
00:12How can five comedians achieve so much in one field,
00:15and yet prove to have not even basic cognitive function in another?
00:18Will we see them physically change during the process?
00:21Joel Dommert with a beak?
00:22Amy Glutter with one giant hand?
00:25Nunciani, Iannucci and Paige, flying a room like bats?
00:28Oh, Dr. Frankenstein, what have we done?
00:38Please welcome...
00:40Amy Glutter!
00:43Armando Iannucci!
00:46Charlotte Paige!
00:48Joel Dommert!
00:50And Karol Nanjani!
00:54And next to me, a man who told me in private
00:57he thinks that all the lycra-clad cyclists in his town
01:00are, to a man, sexual predators.
01:06Yes, little Alex Hall!
01:10I'm Matthew. Hello.
01:12Hi, what have you got for the opening chat?
01:14I'm so exhausted, Greg. Oh, God.
01:17So tired, I'm trying to break into the world of desserts,
01:20and, er, you know hundreds and thousands?
01:22Oh, God.
01:23Yeah.
01:24Well, I've tried to get my own version of them.
01:26I've got something called ones and tens.
01:28So...
01:29You get...
01:30You get up to ten in a...
01:31in a jar.
01:34No-one's buying them.
01:35Carve run out of things.
01:40OK, let's get on with the prize task, please.
01:42Okey-dokey, of course.
01:44And this time, they've been told by you
01:46to bring in their most embarrassing possession.
01:49Ooh.
01:49Yeah, mine is my sports car.
01:51It's so fast!
01:55You're going to reward five points
01:56to the person you think has brought in
01:57their most embarrassing possession,
01:59and then all five possessions
02:00will go home with the winner,
02:01which doesn't sound like a great prize, as usual.
02:03Hey, Shana, what have you brought?
02:05I've brought in my snake plunger
02:07to unblock a toilet.
02:09When I first met my husband,
02:11I went to Bradford
02:12to meet my mother-in-law for the first time.
02:15I spent the day there,
02:17and I didn't go to the toilet at all,
02:18because I wanted to be so perfect
02:19that I didn't poo.
02:20So I saved it until the evening.
02:23Everyone was in bed,
02:24I went to the toilet,
02:24but there was a carpet in the toilet,
02:26no lock on the door.
02:27I went in,
02:28and I went to the toilet,
02:29I flushed the chain,
02:30and there was, like, loads of...
02:32loads, loads of poo
02:33and loads of toilet paper.
02:34I flushed the chain,
02:35the whole thing rose up to the top.
02:37I'd never experienced that before,
02:38so I didn't know
02:39that you should wait
02:40for it to go back down.
02:41It was all the way up the top,
02:42and I just thought,
02:43oh, well, just flush it again.
02:44I flushed it again.
02:46Jesus Christ, it was awful.
02:47It just continued.
02:49It went over the toilet seat,
02:51poo, paper, everything,
02:53and water just flowing
02:54and flowing onto the carpet.
02:57Apparently, I was screaming,
02:58and I was screaming,
02:59because she just came in through the door,
03:00and then she went,
03:01and she had a snake plunger,
03:03and she went,
03:04because they'd had problems
03:04with the toilet,
03:05and she was doing it
03:06with the snake plunger.
03:07The dad came in,
03:07everybody was there,
03:08I was crying,
03:10and then she gave me
03:12the snake plunger afterwards
03:13and said, here you go,
03:14you can have it,
03:14and it has been used since.
03:15Oh.
03:17Yeah.
03:21Thank you for telling us
03:23about your horrific shit story.
03:26Joel.
03:27I have brought in my teenage diary
03:30from 2004.
03:32Ooh.
03:32Here it is.
03:33Alex, I think you've read
03:34some bits from it,
03:35I believe.
03:35I've enjoyed a lot of it.
03:36Yeah.
03:37I've picked three dates
03:38that are my favourite.
03:39You can have the 21st of June,
03:4125th of June,
03:42or the 23rd of July, Greg.
03:43What would you like?
03:43One that he slightly winced at
03:45was the last one.
03:47Watched Royal Variety
03:48performance tonight
03:49with, let's call her Jessica.
03:51She's so grumpy sometimes,
03:53laughed so much
03:53at some comedian.
03:55Would love to have the confidence
03:56to be a comedian.
03:57This pen is great.
04:02Roarcoast, isn't it?
04:04Ironically, Joel,
04:04it's not that embarrassing.
04:06You might score badly on this
04:07because I just find it so adorable.
04:09It's a bit embarrassing though,
04:10isn't it?
04:11Oh, yeah, it is.
04:13Kamal.
04:14So when I was about eight,
04:15I got a blanket
04:16that I really, really loved,
04:18exactly what I wanted
04:19and I would sleep with it
04:20on my face.
04:21And when I was moving
04:22to America at 18,
04:23I said,
04:24I should bring this with me.
04:26It's here.
04:27Oh.
04:28This is,
04:29this is Poppo.
04:31Wow.
04:32And Poppo was...
04:32I was going to say,
04:33it's not embarrassing,
04:33it's adorable,
04:34and then suddenly
04:35it has a name.
04:37She.
04:38Oh.
04:39Oh.
04:40Oh.
04:41And I still sleep with it.
04:42So I need to win this episode
04:44so I can have Poppo.
04:45Yeah.
04:45What happens
04:45if someone takes Poppo away?
04:47I don't think
04:47they're going to want
04:48to keep Poppo.
04:49Of course they're not.
04:50I imagine,
04:51forgive me,
04:51Poppo stinks.
04:55Amy Gledhill,
04:56what is your embarrassing possession?
04:58I've brought in
04:59a straw,
05:00a drinking straw
05:01that I've kept
05:02from a date
05:03I went on.
05:04Oh.
05:04This is the drinking straw?
05:06I've kept it for
05:0720 more,
05:09so many years.
05:10And it was a special date
05:11you went on?
05:12It was the first date
05:14that I went on
05:15with a boy
05:16that I lost my virginity to.
05:18you.
05:18OK.
05:20His name,
05:21and this is his own,
05:23this is what he calls himself,
05:25Dirty Joe.
05:26Oh.
05:29Oh, this is a really weird opening round.
05:33Armando.
05:33It's my grade one piano music certificate
05:36but please let me carry on.
05:38Shall I show it now?
05:38This is the certificate.
05:39This is what Armando brought on.
05:40But I did this aged 40.
05:48I couldn't play music
05:49but I love music
05:49and my wife,
05:50and my 40th birthday
05:51brought me a piano,
05:51one of those electric
05:52that sounds like a, you know.
05:54And I thought,
05:54to make myself learn,
05:56I'll sit grade one.
05:57But nobody told me
05:58that you were sitting
05:59at someone's house.
06:00And I turned up
06:01and there was a little
06:02small kitchen area
06:03at the back
06:04where I sat
06:04with the other candidates.
06:05who were all five and six.
06:09And then I was taken in
06:11and nobody told me
06:12that I would have to play
06:13on a big grand piano
06:15but the keys
06:15are completely different,
06:16a different way.
06:17And I thought,
06:18I could stop now.
06:19I could just leave the house.
06:21You know,
06:21I've won a BAFTA.
06:22That's enough.
06:23I don't...
06:23No, I'm going to carry on.
06:25And I carried on.
06:26I mean, it was like, awful.
06:28I passed by one
06:29and the comment at the bottom
06:31is the candidate
06:32was able to hold the melody
06:33at the second attempt.
06:35LAUGHTER
06:39APPLAUSE
06:39That's all right.
06:41That's all right.
06:43Well, his most embarrassing
06:45possession wins.
06:46So I guess, least embarrassing,
06:47one point.
06:48All of them were brilliant.
06:49I'm giving Armando and Amy
06:50two points.
06:51OK.
06:52I'm giving three points
06:53to Kamal
06:55because I find his little rag adorable.
06:57I'm going to give four points to Joel.
07:00But I think I'm going to give
07:01Joanna Page five points.
07:02Four-five points to Joel.
07:03Thank you, everyone.
07:05APPLAUSE
07:07Can I have a challenging task, please, Alex?
07:11Yes, you can,
07:12because you've been such a brave boy, Greg.
07:14I'm going to turn the camera off.
07:23BELL RINGS
07:25Hello.
07:26BELL RINGS
07:27Hello.
07:41BELL RINGS
07:44Oh, my God.
07:45BELL RINGS
07:45Oh, my God.
07:47BELL RINGS
07:48Oh, my God.
07:49BELL RINGS
07:50Oh, my God.
07:52BELL RINGS
07:52Oh, my God.
07:56Right.
07:56Mmm.
07:57Be brave.
07:58Bravest win.
08:01Your time starts now.
08:03Is there a train station there?
08:06BELL RINGS
08:08Are you scared of anything?
08:11Uh...
08:13Unnecessary compromise.
08:16What does Greg find you scary?
08:18He's not scared of anything.
08:20Is he scared of, like, crisps?
08:23No, I think he's definitely not.
08:25That's really...
08:25That's a real joke.
08:27Because I could be so brave with crisps.
08:29My first thought is a spider.
08:31Because I would take a lot of bravery
08:32and I'm not prepared to go there.
08:34I can't do anything with a spider.
08:35I don't like heights.
08:36God, I don't like worms at all.
08:37I don't like singing in front of people.
08:39I don't like creepy crawlies.
08:40I really don't like doing karaoke.
08:42People are scared of public speaking.
08:44That's the number one fear.
08:46All right.
08:47OK.
08:48I'll think of something.
08:49OK.
08:50Do you want us to go or are you going to go?
08:51I mean, is it an option that you guys all leave?
08:54If you could take all your gear
08:57and get the fuck out.
09:03Joanna was the only one we scared with the lion's head.
09:06Mmm.
09:07Yes, I do feel bad that she is the most scarable.
09:10But also, it was funny, wasn't it?
09:11It was funny.
09:13Who shall we see first?
09:14Well, we're going to start with all of the J's.
09:17Joanna, Joel, and that's all of the J's.
09:21Hello.
09:22Hello.
09:22It is quite high.
09:23OK.
09:27OK.
09:27I'll go like that to brace myself.
09:29Yeah.
09:30OK.
09:31So I'm scared of spiders.
09:34Genuine fear of spiders.
09:35Mm-hmm.
09:36The bravest thing I could do is have a spider on my face.
09:42On your face.
09:42On your face.
09:43Well, I've got three spiders for you.
09:44On your face.
09:45Ooh.
09:46We'll start with spider number one.
09:47We'll move up in size.
09:50I'm going to start singing, OK?
09:52OK.
09:52I'll get my creepy crawly ready.
09:54Oh, God.
09:54I don't like this.
09:55I just saw something, right?
09:57OK.
09:57Oh, God.
09:58I don't like it.
09:58I can see what it is.
09:59I'm going to be a real brave boy.
10:06Don't need to look at it.
10:07It's so lurky.
10:08Oh, my God.
10:09He's got a lurky.
10:10OK, yeah, yeah, just right.
10:11Go for now.
10:12Pour the spider onto your face.
10:14Here it comes.
10:17OK, just right.
10:18Is it like that?
10:19It's on the back of your head.
10:21Yeah.
10:21OK.
10:22OK.
10:23OK.
10:23OK.
10:33I'm so brave.
10:34Now, this guy is smaller but more powerful.
10:39Who are you?
10:39There he is.
10:40One on the chest.
10:45Up your eyes.
10:47What's on your eyebrow now?
10:49He's nibbling your eyebrow.
10:54OK.
10:55Let's go.
10:56My name is Jo and I don't like red worms.
10:59Oh, my God.
11:00Oh, God, I don't like it.
11:01But I'm prepared to go there if it is on my terms.
11:05Oh, God, I don't like it.
11:06I'm 48.
11:07I'm doing this for my kids.
11:10Oh, my God.
11:12Oh, my God, I don't like it.
11:14Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
11:15You all right?
11:15That's it.
11:16It's forward life.
11:18You don't want to do it?
11:18I don't like it.
11:19Put it away.
11:20I'll put it back.
11:21Oh, God, let me see what it looks like.
11:23I can't do it.
11:25I can't do it.
11:25I can't do it.
11:26I can't do it.
11:28I can't do it.
11:28I can't do it.
11:32You all right in there?
11:34We're OK, thank you.
11:35Yeah, we're all right.
11:38I can't do it.
11:45I can't do it now.
11:46So, Joanna's attempt at being brave resulted in a golfer, thinking that Alex had murdered her.
11:52LAUGHTER
11:53I love that also, if someone thinks that someone's being murdered across a hedge,
11:58all you've got to do is go, yeah, yeah, it's fine.
12:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:02I'm just here.
12:03On that note, no spiders were harmless at all.
12:05They were just from the garden, they went back to the garden, everything's fine.
12:08Yes. Joanna had worms in her...
12:10It was two worms. I don't mind worms if I can look at them,
12:14and it's under my terms.
12:16I don't think you were very brave, because you bailed.
12:18The thing is, being brave isn't about always succeeding.
12:22Being brave is about having a go.
12:24And there's nothing wrong with failing.
12:26I mean, being brave...
12:27Oh, fuck off.
12:30You've come to the wrong place.
12:33Being brave is about trying.
12:35I'm not fucking Oprah.
12:36I'll tell you what scares me,
12:39seeing a man in his 40s call himself a real brave boy.
12:44I was scared, because I've never had a spider on my face before.
12:47It was a brave start, but that was a very brave response.
12:50You're a very brave boy.
12:52In your 40s.
12:53OK, who's next?
12:54Next, she's got a stellar middle name.
12:57Yes, it's Amy Stella Gledhill.
12:59I'm going to be brave, Alex.
13:02I'm going to sing earnestly a song I've written,
13:05that's also confessions of things that I have done in my life
13:10that I feel embarrassed about.
13:12Oh, well, this sounds dreadful.
13:14Yeah.
13:16Good luck.
13:17I once thought I saw a ghost.
13:20But it was a mouse in a carrier bag.
13:23I once weed myself at the coast.
13:26I was sick in my friend's bum bag.
13:28Of these things I am ashamed.
13:31Singing of them makes me brave.
13:34But the thing that scares me most
13:36is the ocean deep and dangerous.
13:39Water wet and water cold.
13:42To face these fears I must be bold.
13:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:00Oh!
14:04Oh!
14:05Oh!
14:05Oh!
14:05Oh!
14:05This is potentially your finest hour.
14:07Yes!
14:07All true.
14:09You throw up in a friend's bum bag?
14:11Yeah.
14:11On a bus to University in Leeds,
14:13we'd been out the night before,
14:15and I'd filled up, you know,
14:16a Subway carrier bag,
14:18like the long thin ones.
14:19Bleh!
14:19That I'd done,
14:20and then I was like,
14:20there's more, there's more!
14:21And she was like,
14:22Bleh!
14:22And I was like,
14:23Bleh!
14:26Are you scared of water?
14:27I'm scared of cold water,
14:29because I feel like,
14:30what if it makes your heart stop?
14:31Oh.
14:32And you took a bucket in the face?
14:33Yes, she did tell me.
14:34She did tell me that,
14:35but I was slightly ashamed
14:36that I was smiling while doing this.
14:41if he can stare into the camera,
14:43as it moves towards him slowly,
14:44as a tribute to his wife.
14:46I'm sorry.
14:56I'm sorry.
15:03Finished?
15:04We'll see you in a minute.
15:13Hello!
15:14Welcome back to the start of part two,
15:16where our cast are being brave,
15:18but also surprisingly nimble.
15:20Watch this.
15:20It is Armando Iannucci's turn.
15:23Hello.
15:24Thank you for coming.
15:26I hate dancing.
15:27I can't dance.
15:28My worst fear of being made to dance in public,
15:32which is what I'm going to do now,
15:34knowing that this will also go out on national television.
15:38Right, hit it.
15:39Whoa!
15:44Whoa!
15:46Holla!
15:49.
15:50Whoo!
15:55.
15:56.
15:58MUSIC CONTINUES
16:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:13Putty!
16:14LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
16:18Right, yeah.
16:23Fine, my feeling is you genuinely are horrified by that.
16:26I'm horrified, and I've hated it, always hated it when, like, at weddings,
16:30when somebody goes, come and do a dance, come on!
16:32And I go, no, I hate that. No, come on!
16:34And I resolved when I hit 60, which I did last year,
16:37that if that happens again, I will just tell them not to touch me
16:39and I will phone the police.
16:42LAUGHTER
16:44Any wedding I'm at, I'm just going to say to the bride's mother,
16:48fuck off!
16:50LAUGHTER
16:52Who's next? It's Kamail Nanjian.
16:55Emmanuel, thank you so much for picking me to be your best man.
16:59Giving a best man speech at a wedding, that's people's number one fear,
17:03so that's pretty brave of me to do that.
17:05Uh, but there's something I need to tell you.
17:08I'm having sex with the bride.
17:11LAUGHTER
17:12Admitting you're fucking the bride the day of her wedding,
17:14that's pretty brave.
17:16But Greg, you may be thinking,
17:18you're a stand-up comedian, public speaking,
17:20it's not really that brave.
17:21Well, I'm about to do something
17:23that's the bravest thing I've ever done.
17:25This is for real.
17:27This is my computer,
17:28and I'm going to let Alex look at my internet history.
17:32He can look at whatever he wants,
17:33he can go wherever he wants.
17:35I'm genuinely shaking.
17:36And you haven't deleted your history?
17:37I swear I've not deleted anything.
17:39Why not?
17:41OK, you're going to most viewed.
17:43This is number three.
17:46Well, it's been a stressful month, Alex.
17:48You're pretty keen that it's HD.
17:49Well, I like...
17:50I like to make out everything.
17:52It's high-definition.
17:54Premature women.
17:56LAUGHTER
17:56Last seven days.
17:59Well, last seven days,
18:00I've been in a hotel room with my wife,
18:01so it's actually fairly...
18:04Didn't stop you.
18:05LAUGHTER
18:06Still been Wordle.
18:08LAUGHTER
18:09You Googled yourself a lot.
18:12For now,
18:13Ghostbusters,
18:13Watch Porn,
18:14Blue Sky.
18:15Oh!
18:16LAUGHTER
18:18Oh, my God!
18:19APPLAUSE
18:20Oh, my God!
18:22APPLAUSE
18:23So the whole wedding thing was the red herring?
18:26Yeah.
18:27I'm genuinely speechless.
18:29LAUGHTER
18:29I was shocked enough that you're still doing Wordle.
18:33And then, what was the order?
18:34It was...
18:35Porn...
18:36Yeah.
18:36And self-googling.
18:37Porn self-googling?
18:39Cricket stats.
18:40Right.
18:40To the porn.
18:41That's why his arms are so big!
18:45LAUGHTER
18:47Porn!
18:48Porn!
18:48Porn!
18:49It was all real.
18:50I didn't delete anything.
18:51I cannot believe I did that.
18:53Do you have to put that in the show?
18:56Yeah, yeah.
18:57Oh, yeah!
18:59I'm looking after score.
19:00I feel like I've been a bit harsh on you, Joanna.
19:02Mm-hm.
19:02Because I do think, Louie, you were very brave up to a point.
19:04Joanna, two points.
19:06Amy can have three points.
19:07Joel can have four points.
19:09Armando can also have four points, because I believe that he hates dancing and he looked uncomfortable.
19:14This is true.
19:14But I saw that man shaking like a leaf.
19:17Kamel gets five points.
19:18There we go.
19:19Five points to Kamel.
19:21Scoreboard, please.
19:22Well, joint leading at the moment, the guys on the end, Joel and Kamel on eight points.
19:26There we go.
19:28APPLAUSE
19:28What's next, Alex?
19:30Well, it's time to go nuts!
19:45I don't know.
19:46I don't know.
19:47I never get that right.
19:48I just, you know.
19:49You're the worst at that.
19:50Am I?
19:51Good.
19:51Good.
19:55What was it?
19:56That was the worst.
19:57Getting harder.
19:59You are moving those around.
20:01You are.
20:02There's no way.
20:03Every time it's a struggle.
20:12Very cool.
20:14Task complete.
20:15Oh no.
20:15Right.
20:16Open this.
20:17Go ahead.
20:18Oh, that was so cool.
20:21It's a coconut with a face on it.
20:23Hello?
20:26Hi.
20:27Oh, hello.
20:27Mr. Coconut.
20:28That's not his name.
20:29Why would his name...
20:30Is your name Mr. Human?
20:32What is his name?
20:33Mr. Dickhead.
20:34His name is Mr. Dickhead.
20:37Win...
20:39Co-co...
20:40Co-conquers.
20:41Win Co-conquers.
20:42Co-conquers.
20:43Perfect.
20:44Co-conquers is conquers with coconuts.
20:48Win...
20:49Co-conquers.
20:50Co-conquers.
20:51Co-conquers.
20:53Co-conquers.
20:53You can prepare your co-conquers.
20:56Co-conquers.
20:57Co-conquers.
20:57Co-conquers.
20:58However you like.
20:59As long as it still looks like a co-conquers.
21:01So that's coconuts and conquers.
21:03Co-con...
21:04Co-conquers.
21:05You have a maximum of 20 minutes.
21:07Your time starts now.
21:08Have you played conquers before?
21:09Yeah.
21:10Have you played co-conquers before?
21:11Never.
21:12Right.
21:12When you last played, did you trick your conquers in any way?
21:15No.
21:15No.
21:15No, I'm from Glasgow.
21:18We didn't play co-conquers.
21:20We didn't.
21:21All right.
21:22I'll bring some stuff.
21:23Okay.
21:24Mr Dickhead's staying, is he?
21:25Yeah.
21:32What's the co-conquers?
21:34Cock and cuss?
21:35Cock and cuss.
21:36Yeah.
21:36It seemed a natural way to say it.
21:38Cock and cuss.
21:39That's what Kamal does in his hotel room when he's at the gym.
21:44Okay, well, let's see all of them creating their co-conquer monsters.
21:48Am I going attack or defence?
21:50Am I going bubble wrap or am I going to kill a lot?
21:54I think I'm doing a mixture of offence and defence.
21:58Offence, defence.
22:00Right, I'm soaking it in vinegar.
22:02Right.
22:03Give me a good soap.
22:04This concrete's going to be jacked to the nines.
22:08PVA glue.
22:09Mm-hm.
22:15There's nothing inside it.
22:16There's nothing inside it.
22:17We'd already drilled a hole in it.
22:18Oh, really?
22:19Oh, there's a hole through it.
22:20Oh, yeah.
22:24I'm looking for some form of concrete.
22:27Right.
22:28I've got sand.
22:29Right, that looks good.
22:31Arguably, this could look like a conquer with some hair.
22:34It's going to make this bigger.
22:36In it goes.
22:38So, does that still look like a coconut?
22:41That's up to you.
22:46Is this legal practice in co-conquer?
22:49It's so legal.
22:50Oh, no.
22:50Oh, no.
22:53This will blow the rest of them out of the water.
22:55Great.
22:57I've got vinegar on my Thai.
22:59It's a sort of punk co-conquer.
23:01What's that?
23:01Co-co-co-conquer.
23:03Co-co-conquer.
23:04Co-co-conquer.
23:04I pick a conquer.
23:05I pick a conquer.
23:07I pick a conquer.
23:08Oh, Jimmy.
23:09This is a medieval torture device, isn't it?
23:12Offense and defence.
23:15Get that on.
23:16I think it looks quite good.
23:20Can I borrow some of your hair, please?
23:22I'll do a small bit there, because...
23:23Oh, gosh.
23:24There we are.
23:25There.
23:26You know what?
23:26I like it that you're on that.
23:29Look.
23:30At the horror.
23:32The destruction.
23:34That is Sir Concononca.
23:37OK.
23:37What's your coconut called?
23:38Bluey.
23:42It looks like I've mistreated a guinea pig or something.
23:47It's slightly worrying.
23:50In it goes.
23:51OK.
23:51Well, good luck in the tournament.
23:52Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:53Cash prize?
23:53No?
23:54OK.
23:55I'll still do it.
23:58Did you say in the past that they were supposed to still look like a coconut afterwards?
24:02That was part of the ruling.
24:04Yeah.
24:04Some people may have failed in that regard.
24:07Like, for example, you know, the conquer that is inside a metal cup with a hammer tied to it.
24:14Well, you could see that it's a coconut.
24:17You could see...
24:18If you look at it, you'd be like, why is that coconut surrounded by so much crap?
24:21Yeah.
24:22Yeah, and he wrote the word coconut on it.
24:23And I wrote the word coconut on it.
24:25Ha-ha!
24:26What about the football with nails in it?
24:28And a bit of hair.
24:30Yeah.
24:31What's with all of you guys putting hair in it?
24:33There's hair, isn't there?
24:35Mmm.
24:37What was in yours?
24:38Why did you freeze it?
24:39I froze it to get it hard.
24:42On the internet, Joanna, it says, the easiest way to crack a coconut is to freeze it first.
24:45Ah!
24:47Oh!
24:48Armando, it also says, baking a coconut will make it crispy and easy to crack.
24:53What?
24:53The conquer contest is soon to come.
24:56But for now, have a little break while I top up Alex's data allowance.
25:00Oh!
25:01What the hell is bigbouncers.org?
25:06That's piss-fuck.
25:08LAUGHTER
25:16Hello, everybody.
25:18Welcome back to the advert.
25:20Good luck if you enter the competition to win that house by the coast.
25:23Back here, we're doing much more important things, aren't we, Alex?
25:27Oh, eff yes, we're...
25:29We're only about to watch the world's biggest ever co-conquers battle.
25:33Good luck, everyone.
25:35Here we go.
25:36Hello, and welcome to the season, I mean, Series 21, Co-Conquers Championship.
25:43Today, we have Joel Dahmer versus Armando Iannucci.
25:51Cluey versus Punk Co-Conquers.
25:54Well, Alex steps onto the playing field in protective gear that he absolutely doesn't need.
26:01The first hit is uneventful.
26:03Why do we have instant replays?
26:05Who knows?
26:06Nothing much is happening, but yet here we are.
26:11Armando wrapping his coconut in metal, really giving it an exoskeleton.
26:17Very smart.
26:18Knocks a bit of Armando's coconut loose, but still in the game.
26:24Third hit.
26:25Oh!
26:27And Joel's coconut is demolished.
26:32A handy victory for Armando as his Punk Co-Conquers absolutely decimates gluey.
26:39Next up, we have Joanna Page versus Amy Gledin.
26:45Guinea Pig versus Sir Conquerno.
26:48Boy, Sir Conquerno looks threatening.
26:51OH!
26:51Oh, first hit is absolute destruction on guinea pig.
26:57But guinea pig remains in the game.
26:59Next hit, guinea pig does almost no damage
27:03to Sir Khan Kanonkar.
27:05Oh, Sir Khan Kanonkar looking like
27:07an absolute favorite in this test.
27:09Third hit, oh, a huge upset.
27:13As Sir Khan Kanonkar absolutely separates from its string.
27:18Perhaps its weight was too much.
27:20Joanna Page wins.
27:24And our final fight, Kamail Nanjiani versus...
27:29Alex Horne?
27:31Mr. Dickhead versus Alex Horne,
27:34who many call Mr. Dickhead.
27:38Ooh, big hit.
27:39And immediately, Alex's coconut breaks,
27:43not completely, but certainly now vulnerable.
27:46Kamail's strike absolutely crushes
27:50crushes, crushes Alex's coconut.
27:54Kamail Nanjiani wins.
27:56As if there was any doubt.
27:59Here's to standing so far.
28:00And the finalists are guinea pig versus punkka-conker versus Mr. Dickhead.
28:09Who will come out on top?
28:11What will happen?
28:13First up, Joanna Page versus Iannucci.
28:17Oh, oh, Iannucci is out.
28:23Next round, guinea pig versus Mr. Dickhead.
28:27Mr. Dickhead loses his hammer.
28:29Oh, this is tough, but Mr. Dickhead will still fight.
28:37Oh, the final strike.
28:41Mr. Dickhead absolutely crushes guinea pig.
28:45Kamail Nanjiani wins in a victory for America.
28:51I will allow Mr. Dickhead, because I could clearly see it was a coconut in there,
28:56and he had labelled it coconut, so I take that criticism.
28:59Look, I'm never one, I'm never one, hey.
29:01Hey, I'm up for an argument.
29:02If I wrote Kamail Nanjiani on me, no one's going, oh, that's Kamail Nanjiani.
29:06They're going, that's...
29:07You need the accent, maybe, so let's see it.
29:10That might help.
29:13Oh, but how much career will I lose?
29:19Dear diary, I was cancelled tonight.
29:25Hey, the guinea pig held up well, didn't it?
29:26Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
29:28That, like, cement poly filler thing was amazing.
29:30Yeah.
29:31I'm sorry, but I was chuffed with that.
29:33They all held out really well, but there couldn't be only one winner, and there was.
29:36Yes, so...
29:37Oh, hello.
29:37Can I just say one tiny thing?
29:40You may.
29:40All I'm saying is, the string had come out of my con-con-con-con-con-con-con.
29:46Your con-con-con-con, yes.
29:48And the whole thing was on the ground.
29:50Yes.
29:51But only on the ground because of the string, but I didn't have anything to do with the
29:54string.
29:55And the con-con-con-con-con-con-con-con-con-con.
29:56Nobody did out all of the weight.
29:57There was no way and a football is heavier than a hammer, so I'm blaming the string.
30:06You may blame whatever you wish.
30:10Well, look, in round one, I guess my coconut was the quickest to go,
30:14though I don't get any points again.
30:15Joel, you didn't survive as long as Amy, so it's one point to you,
30:18it's two to you, Amy.
30:19Then in the final, Amanda went first, three points to you.
30:22Joanna Nick, four points, but the winner, Camilla Dabjani, five points!
30:28And Keaton for one more, please.
30:30Sure.
30:30And if you like photos of celebrities with things in their mouths,
30:33good for you.
30:35You're going to love this one.
30:54No other stuff, aren't you, Steph?
30:56Nothing.
30:59How are you?
31:00How do you feel good?
31:01Yeah?
31:02All the better for seeing you.
31:03Oh.
31:04Oh!
31:06Oh, my God.
31:07It's been happening as a photo.
31:08Oh, my God.
31:10Appear in the most photos, holding a different thing in your mouth,
31:13each thing bigger than the last thing.
31:15Only one of your things may be in the lab at any one time.
31:19The person who appears in the most photos,
31:21holding a different thing in their mouth,
31:23each thing bigger than the last thing, wins.
31:26The camera will take a picture once every ten seconds for ten minutes,
31:29and will start taking pictures in five minutes from now.
31:33OK.
31:34Yeah?
31:34I think, I think so.
31:36The camera will start taking pictures in four minutes, 50 seconds.
31:39That's the camera.
31:42It's going to take 60 pictures.
31:44I'm used to that, Alex.
31:45You know why?
31:46No.
31:47I'm famous.
31:56So, we will now watch this.
31:57I will comment on it.
31:59You will chat to me,
32:00and none of us will say anything sexual
32:02about you putting stuff in your mouths.
32:05Good luck, everyone!
32:06OK, well, first to snap are Amy, Joanna, and Camille.
32:15How am I doing on time?
32:16How much do I have left?
32:17OK, you're doing quite well on time.
32:19Just tell me the number.
32:20Right, well, until the...
32:21Sorry, Camille.
32:22The next words out of your mouth better be a number.
32:25Three minutes until the camera's...
32:26Camille?
32:29OK.
32:31I've got a hole.
32:33You've got a what?
32:34A hole.
32:35A salt.
32:36A salt.
32:37I've got a gnat.
32:39OK.
32:47Oh, huh.
32:48What was it?
32:48A clove!
32:50A clove.
32:55Lovely picture.
32:56Oh, folks.
32:57I'm a big test.
33:05Did I make it?
33:06Yeah, you think a fang's bigger than a banana?
33:09Yeah.
33:13Easy.
33:18A small.
33:19A bigger spoon.
33:21A bigger spoon.
33:22A bigger spoon.
33:22A bigger spoon.
33:23Oh!
33:27I think I'm bigger than that.
33:28I've gone pretty big.
33:32I've only got about two left.
33:33Oh, dear.
33:37Oh, my God.
33:38We're in the shit now.
33:43Am I allowed to carry on?
33:44Did I miss...
33:45I missed the last one, didn't I?
33:46I'm quite happy with that one.
33:49A chicken.
33:52A bigger chicken.
33:53A bigger chicken.
33:54Lovely.
33:55Ow!
33:56You all right?
33:56I just punched myself in the face with a chicken.
33:59I'm bigger than a chicken.
34:02I think I've scaled up too quickly.
34:04Fucked myself with a chicken.
34:05It was too big.
34:06You fucked yourself with a chicken.
34:07Yeah.
34:12Did you see that?
34:13I held it in my mouth.
34:16I held a chair in my mouth.
34:2045 seconds.
34:22This is gonna be tight!
34:28What was that?
34:29Me.
34:34You can take one more picture.
34:36It's the last one.
34:46You've got bigger and bigger and holding you in your mouth was inspired.
34:51But for me, you peeped at...
34:54I knew from Beggar's bowl.
34:58Now you've had some pretty big career highs.
35:01Do any of them rank next to shouting out on television?
35:04Did you see it?
35:05I held a chair in my mouth.
35:08Did you see it?
35:11I'm making a thing I'm proud of, stuff.
35:14Joanna.
35:14You played an absolute blinder.
35:16The only thing Joanna did wrong was she stopped when you missed a photo.
35:19It didn't matter if you missed a photo.
35:20It didn't say you had to be consecutive.
35:22Oh, no, really?
35:23Well, yes, but...
35:26How do you not go away?
35:27Yeah.
35:28Oh, that's shit.
35:30I know.
35:31Do you know what you said to me in private?
35:32What?
35:33I said, I don't like Welsh people.
35:38It's the end of part three.
35:40Soon, someone will go home with a used straw from Amy Gledhill's ex and Armando's grade one piano certificate.
35:46It's the stuff dreams are made of.
35:48Rubbish dreams.
36:18I'll see you in a minute.
36:19I'll see you in a picture in five seconds.
36:24Bonjour.
36:25What have you left?
36:25Oh, we started quite a while ago.
36:27Oh, huh?
36:31Like a long time?
36:33You've got eight minutes, 25 left.
36:40Bonjour.
36:42Au revoir.
36:45Clever.
36:49Banan.
36:58Lovely.
36:59Erm, bigger than that is this.
37:08Is that a bin?
37:09It's a bin, yeah.
37:10You put a bin in your mouth.
37:11Yep.
37:11Come on.
37:14Come on.
37:16Oh, no.
37:17Look at that.
37:19It's too big.
37:20It won't go around the corridor.
37:37It's so sweaty.
37:38It's a sweaty little egg.
37:46You can't really get bigger than that.
37:47No.
37:48Because you've got the house in your mouth.
37:49Yes, I've got the house in your mouth.
37:50I mean, once you can't go higher than house.
38:00Okay, good.
38:00And you both worked out something that Kamel didn't work out.
38:03And that is that you didn't have to suspend the weight of the objects from your jaw.
38:09I've not got much to say.
38:10I just thought they did a pretty good job.
38:12And Armando held a whole house in his mouth.
38:15If you see someone fighting a pillar, would you say,
38:19why does that guy have a whole house in his mouth?
38:21I would, yeah.
38:23Me too.
38:24Me too.
38:25Well, look, I can tell you some numbers.
38:27Please.
38:28In last place, with 12 things in his mouth, it's Armando Gagnucci.
38:31You get one point.
38:32Kamel, you got 16 in the end.
38:34You get two points.
38:34Joanna got 19 things in her mouth.
38:37Despite missing several of the photos at the beginning,
38:39Joel, you were pretty quick.
38:40You got 26 things in your mouth.
38:42But the winner, with 30 things in her wonderful mouth,
38:45it's Amy Glendale.
38:46Five points.
38:48All right, then.
38:50Will you please make your waiting stage for the final task of the show?
38:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:05I'm back in my counting booth.
39:06Cool, man.
39:07Second week in a row.
39:08Who's going to read the task, eh?
39:10I think Kamel Nanjiani should read it.
39:12Kamel.
39:13Land beanbags on your opponent's faces.
39:17If your face is struck three times, you are eliminated.
39:20You may only throw one beanbag at a time,
39:22and you must throw from your spot.
39:24If you strike the taskmaster's face,
39:26the taskmaster will launch his own double-strength beanbag.
39:30LAUGHTER
39:32Last player standing wins.
39:34Ready, Greg?
39:34Yes.
39:35Ready, contestants?
39:36Yes.
39:37Yes.
39:37Begin the face vortex.
39:40LAUGHTER
39:41So it's Kamel to...
39:43And off he goes.
39:44What?
39:44Armando, he has targeted you.
39:46Remember that.
39:47OK.
39:48I can do it.
39:49Do I?
39:49No.
39:49Not yet.
39:50Yeah.
39:50Joel.
39:51Oh!
39:52You're in play for it.
39:54Oh!
39:54Remember, these are worth two lives.
39:56This could kill Armando.
40:00LAUGHTER
40:01You hit your own face.
40:03You hit your own face.
40:06Armando again.
40:07They are all targeting Armando.
40:09Armando, if you hit your own face, you're out.
40:12You hit your own face!
40:14You hit your own face!
40:15Settle.
40:16OK, Amy.
40:18Absolutely wonderful.
40:20Oh, no.
40:22Mel's back.
40:23Oh!
40:24Greg again.
40:25Your back, Greg.
40:26HEA!
40:28HEA!
40:29Amy loses two lives.
40:31Oh!
40:33Oh!
40:35We have lost Armando Ionucci!
40:38Oh, sorry.
40:39Oh!
40:39We...
40:40LAUGHTER
40:42LAUGHTER
40:42LAUGHTER
40:43You have to go and sit on the elimination bench, please.
40:45Armando Ionucci, everybody.
40:46There is...
40:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:51Joanna Page, you have all your lives.
40:54Oh.
40:56LAUGHTER
40:56LAUGHTER
40:57Wow!
40:58Joel loses a life.
41:00Come out.
41:01Are you Amy Port?
41:03Oh, I'm Andrew Ionucci already dead.
41:06LAUGHTER
41:06LAUGHTER
41:07This is something I said.
41:10LAUGHTER
41:11LAUGHTER
41:11HE'S STRUCK HIS OWN FACE.
41:13HE'S TURNED THE GUN ON HIMSELF!
41:15HEA!
41:19HEA!
41:20HEA!
41:21HEA!
41:22HEA!
41:22HEA!
41:22HEA!
41:22HEA!
41:23HEA!
41:24HEA!
41:24HEA!
41:25HEA!
41:26HEA!
41:29HEA!
41:31HEA!
41:32HEA!
41:33HEA!
41:33HEA!
41:34HEA!
41:35HEA!
41:35HEA!
41:36HEA!
41:36HEA!
41:37HEA!
41:37HEA!
41:37HEA!
41:38HEA!
41:38HEA!
41:39HEA!
41:40HEA!
41:40HEA!
41:41HEA!
41:41HEA!
41:41HEA!
41:44HEA!
41:45HEA!
41:46HEA!
41:47HEA!
41:49HEA!
41:50HEA!
41:51Another page, this boy.
41:53Coming through here.
41:56Oh!
42:00Another for Armando. Check it.
42:07It's you, Greg.
42:11Joel Duffett has gone!
42:13OK, here we are.
42:19So I have to get all three on Camille.
42:22Yeah.
42:25Wow!
42:29Oh, no!
42:56Let's have those two final scores! Come and join me!
43:04Well, well, well. That was high-octane stuff.
43:08It really was. And boy, can he throw accurately with a beanbag at other people's faces.
43:12Oh, man, he's good.
43:13What's that done to the final scores?
43:15We have three people in joint second on 16 points.
43:18Second week in a row. I can't believe it.
43:19But the winner, with 20 points, is Mr. Camille Nanjani!
43:22Yay!
43:26Camille Nanjani wins!
43:29Please go up and cringe with your embarrassing things!
43:35So, good.
43:38What have we learnt today?
43:39Well, we've learnt that ostensibly Taskmaster is a light entertainment show.
43:43But sometimes there are darker forces at play.
43:46Sometimes it's a vehicle for people to face their innermost fears.
43:50To dig deep into their psyche.
43:52To find the courage that they never knew they had.
43:55To reveal the most harrowing secrets from their most checkered past.
43:59To...
44:00Ah!
44:00Ah!
44:03Yeah, we're fine.
44:09Here is your champion for the night.
44:11Camille Nanjani!
44:29Mike Camille Nanjani!
44:31And there.
44:33There!
44:35There!
44:37There!
44:38There!
44:39There!
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