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Taskmaster NZ is a popular comedy game show where a group of comedians are challenged to complete a series of bizarre and often ridiculous tasks, all under the watchful eye of the Taskmaster and his loyal assistant. In this particular episode, the contestants must use their wit, creativity, and sometimes sheer luck to tackle new, perplexing challenges, hoping to earn points and avoid the Taskmaster's scorn. Witness their hilarious attempts and unexpected strategies as they vie for the ultimate prize.
taskmaster-nz comedy game-show new-zealand challenges humor entertainment comedians
#TaskmasterNZ #Comedy #FullEpisode #GameShow
taskmaster-nz comedy game-show new-zealand challenges humor entertainment comedians
#TaskmasterNZ #Comedy #FullEpisode #GameShow
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TVTranscription
00:00C'est parti !
00:30Nau mai puti mai and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:39My name is Jeremy Wells and six years ago, while on a high school field trip,
00:43I was bitten by a radioactive and judgmental spider
00:46who was particularly good at reading autocue.
00:50Since then, I've had no choice but to wield the great responsibility
00:54of being your friendly neighbourhood Taskmaster.
01:00And joining me on my hero's journey are four New Zealand comedians
01:06and also one Australian who lied on the forms and tricked her way in.
01:11Please welcome Alice Neddin,
01:14Brie Tomiselle,
01:17Jack Anset,
01:19Jackie Van Beek,
01:20and Pax Asadi.
01:26And to my left, in a lower chair and a lower tax bracket,
01:31it's my loyal assistant, Paul Williams.
01:33Me thinks we shall begin with a riddle.
01:42I lie beneath a diving board.
01:46Swimming pool?
01:47Yeah.
01:47That was quick, wasn't it?
01:54All right, Paul,
01:55what have we asked our contestants to bring in for the prize task this week?
02:00We've asked our contestants to bring in
02:02the thing with the most feline energy
02:06that is not related to cats in any way.
02:09Pex, should we start with you?
02:13Jeremy, correct me if I'm wrong, but you have a Persian father.
02:15I do.
02:16And so you're aware of how hairy Persian men are.
02:19Oh, yeah.
02:20Oh, yeah.
02:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:22But you're also aware of how indifferent they are to your success.
02:25You're also aware of how when they walk into a room,
02:28they expect food to be there.
02:30and you're also aware of how they shit in boxes of dirt.
02:36So I've brought a tincture of my real Iranian father's real chest hair.
02:42Oh.
02:44Wow.
02:45You weren't just looking for an excuse to shave your dad by any chance, were you?
02:50I don't need an excuse.
02:51We shave each other weekly.
02:53It wouldn't have been easier maybe just to shave yourself and bring that in?
02:57You don't display the same type of feline energy?
03:00Yeah, shit, that would have been ripped way easier, yeah.
03:03Alice.
03:04Yes.
03:04What did you bring in?
03:05Well, I think we can all agree that cats are, of course,
03:09known for being the sexiest animal.
03:13So I thought, well, what's the sexiest other kind of item I could think of?
03:18And that's why I've brought in, um, yeah.
03:21Oh, yeah.
03:23It's a slinky, yeah.
03:24And if you've ever seen one of those things go down a set of stairs,
03:28you've got to do that in private.
03:32Brie, what did you bring in?
03:34Look, Jeremy, I think we can all agree that cats are unpredictable,
03:38shifty, and I think something that holds all of those qualities is this.
03:45A pair of transition lenses.
03:50People who wear them, you can't trust them.
03:54They go outside, they change colour, they go inside, they might change colour, they might not.
03:59You didn't just buy these and now you just want to get rid of them.
04:02They did cost me a lot of money and at least I'm getting some use out of them, Jeremy.
04:07Jackie, what did you bring in?
04:09I think we can all agree that everyone has started their, uh, sentence with,
04:13I think we can all agree.
04:14So I was just like, I was like, okay.
04:15Well, I think we can all agree and I haven't thought beyond that.
04:18I think we can all agree that, um,
04:20that, uh, I searched the world and the interior of my mind.
04:27I found nothing within my mind, but within the world, I found this.
04:31All I would like to say, and I don't want to take up too much of your precious time,
04:40is 100% feline energy and 100% nothing to do with a cat.
04:45It's a possum.
04:46It's 100% possum energy?
04:48Yeah.
04:49If the task was bring in a possum, you would win.
04:54No, no, if the task was bring in a possum, I'd say this didn't just come.
05:00Jack, what did you bring in?
05:01After a few days of just staring at my cat for inspiration,
05:06um, I, um, got this portrait commissioned, um,
05:11Oh my God.
05:14Of, um,
05:16Holy.
05:19Um, me licking my own genitalia.
05:22So, oh man, I've never felt more motivated to win the episode.
05:27If you are motivated to win this episode, you're going to have to come from behind
05:30because I think one point for you and, uh, your slinky.
05:34Wow.
05:35Also, I think one point for Brie with the glasses, and then I go two points for Jackie.
05:39I'll go three points for Pax.
05:42I would have given you four points if you had have brought in your mum's pubes.
05:45Yeah.
05:48Yeah.
05:48And I'll go five points for Jack because, as people know,
05:52whenever a Taskmaster contestant licks his or her own genitals, you get maximum points for him.
05:59Oh, thank you, Jeremy, yeah.
06:01That is enough prize task patter.
06:05Let's get to the first proper task of the show.
06:07Say less, Jeremy.
06:09This task is an emotional rollercoaster.
06:19Paul.
06:20Hello, Alice.
06:21Hello, Jack.
06:22What was that?
06:23Just Taskmaster.
06:25Thank you for repping the brand.
06:26Shall I?
06:27Yes, please.
06:28Egg.
06:31Out loud, please.
06:34Sorry.
06:36Drop an egg from the rollercoaster and hit the bullseye.
06:39Where's the bullseye?
06:40Can I see that from here?
06:41This will be the bullseye.
06:43Oh, wow.
06:44You have one ride of the rollercoaster and one egg.
06:47Paul can ride on the rollercoaster in your stead.
06:50He will release the egg when you command him.
06:52You must break up with the egg before it is released.
06:55So I've got to, like, break its heart.
06:57Mm-hmm.
06:57A bonus point will be given for the most dramatic breakup.
07:01Closest to the bullseye wins.
07:03Your time starts now.
07:04I got married when I was 21, and I'm 34 now.
07:07So, like, the concept of a breakup feels so foreign.
07:10Yeah.
07:11Can we get some lawyers?
07:12Okay.
07:13God, I do love when there's no lines.
07:15Are we sure that we want old Licky Licky over here repping the brand with the taskmaster?
07:24Licky Licky.
07:24Licky Licky.
07:25Five points.
07:26All right, mate.
07:27Five points.
07:27You're enjoying it five minutes ago.
07:31All right, I'm ready to see some breaking up and some throwing down.
07:35Who have we got first, Paul?
07:36Making an egg cracky.
07:38It's your old mate, Jackie.
07:40I think you're on the roller coaster.
07:42I'm going to do some breakup stuff, and then I'm going to yell out, bullseye.
07:46My advice would be to go a little bit earlier than you think.
07:50We'll see.
07:51Just because the momentum.
07:52Eh, we'll see.
07:53Okay.
07:54It's just advice.
07:56So I'm saying good luck.
07:57Oh.
07:58What, what, what, what, what, what, a cue roller coaster, please.
08:03Okay, now when I called you an egg, it's because you are one.
08:07But when you called me an egg, I mean, I just don't think it's working, okay?
08:10Can you start calling me names?
08:11I'm out, okay?
08:12No.
08:13What?
08:13No.
08:14Don't go, I'm stupid.
08:15You stay felt it, little one.
08:16There's more to life.
08:18Don't give up.
08:18No, I won't die.
08:19I won't die.
08:20I won't die.
08:23Jackie, Paul doesn't normally give advice.
08:39I understand I'm not going to win this round.
08:41Okay, so I'm going to take the opportunity to say I do regret not listening to you, Paul.
08:46That was my first day on the game.
08:47I didn't know you.
08:48I didn't trust you.
08:49I didn't necessarily like you on that first day.
08:51How awkward was the hug?
08:54I know, I really went for him.
08:56I thought.
08:56Paul was like.
08:57He recoiled.
08:58What were you scared of?
09:00I'm scared of nothing but the police.
09:03Oh my God.
09:07Right, that's enough egg breaking and egg breakups for now.
09:11Now it's time for my third favourite kind of break, an ad break.
09:14We'll see you after this.
09:15Welcome back to Taskmaster, where the good people of Rainbow's End have allowed us to
09:33use their roller coaster with seemingly no supervision.
09:37Okay, Paul.
09:38What's happening?
09:39Our contestants have been breaking up with eggs before throwing them from a roller coaster.
09:44Their target, a very large target.
09:47So far, we've seen Jackie.
09:48Up next, the A-Team.
09:50Asadi, Ansett, Australian.
09:52It's Pax, Jack and Bree.
09:55Where do you want to ride, Paul?
09:56I was going to stand down by the target.
09:59Oh, okay.
10:00Really thought you'd be on with me this time.
10:03Okay.
10:03You want me to ride with you?
10:05Yeah, for moral support.
10:06Why wouldn't you?
10:07We can have fun together.
10:09Okay.
10:12Okay.
10:13You know what makes me feel comfortable, Paul?
10:14Is that we're doing up our own seatbelts.
10:17You guys got a professional to, um, check this?
10:20I think that looks good.
10:21Nothing at all to worry about.
10:23I think, okay, alright, okay, here we go.
10:25Here we go.
10:26Oh, here we go.
10:27After everything we've been through, you lying, you lying scum.
10:32I feel like this is our whole relationship.
10:35There's highs and there's low lows.
10:38What have I done this time?
10:39I knew you were f***ing the neighbor.
10:41I can't take the low lows anymore, Paul.
10:44Are you talking to me or to the egg?
10:46Sorry, man.
10:46I'm really sorry about this.
10:47Oh, there's the southern right away.
10:49Okay.
10:49I didn't want to come on this sh**!
10:52Oh, my God!
10:56I've got a lot of work in it.
10:58You're an arsehole!
10:59You know what?
11:00Stop yelling at me!
11:01Yeah, I'm going to kill you now.
11:04I'm going to hit him.
11:09It's over!
11:10It's over!
11:12Oh, no!
11:18It went in the bush!
11:18It went in the bush!
11:23Did you see where the egg landed?
11:25Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's on the other side of this fence.
11:27In the bushes.
11:28It's over here somewhere.
11:30Yeah.
11:30How did the breakup go?
11:31I called everyone a dog, I think, and then I threatened to kill them.
11:35And, yeah, I just want to make it clear that I'm not going to kill anyone.
11:38It was just an outburst in the heat of the moment.
11:41I know I look like David Bowen, but...
11:43It's not good.
11:45Okay.
11:48Pax, it was interesting because everyone else seemed to be having an argument with their egg,
11:55sort of having a go.
11:55You were almost apologising and saying, what have I done wrong?
11:58Which probably has an indication about how your relationship's going.
12:00Yeah.
12:01I didn't really break up.
12:02It's just my marital issues just came out, and I just let them out on an egg.
12:06Yeah, well, I see that you were apologising to Paul for having the argument with the egg in front of him.
12:10In front of him.
12:11And, yeah, I'm really sorry you had to witness that, Paul.
12:13It got really ugly.
12:15That's okay.
12:16Yeah.
12:16Jack, your explanation that you weren't going to murder someone, for some reason, I don't know why, but I just didn't buy it.
12:23Oh, okay.
12:25Yeah, I would like to re-emphasise I have no intention of killing anyone.
12:29That's exactly what a murderer would say.
12:31Yeah, it is.
12:32Once you're at the point where we're already having to make declarations about how you won't kill people, the ship's kind of sailed.
12:40All right, who's up next, Paul?
12:41Up last but not least, it's Sneddon versus Egg.
12:45Please stand, Paul Williams.
12:47Thank you, Your Honour.
12:49Fine people of the jury.
12:50Tiny Tim is an egg.
12:53Egg is an egg.
12:55Miss Sneddon is a human being.
12:58Eggs belong with other eggs.
13:00That's bullshit.
13:03Quiet, quiet in the court.
13:05Sure, I might not be an egg, but that doesn't mean I can't understand what it's like to be a scared little boy.
13:11And you know what he needs more than anything to keep him from cracking?
13:14A pair of soft hands to carry him.
13:17How is Egg going to do straightforward things with Tiny Tim?
13:20Can he take him to the park?
13:21Can he take him on a roller coaster for all I care?
13:24Can he?
13:25Objection.
13:25They could just kind of loosely roll around in the leg area.
13:29Overturned.
13:41Quiet in the court.
13:42To prove that he is a fit father, Egg must ride a roller coaster one time.
13:49If he can complete the roller coaster without smashing, he will receive full custody of Tiny Tim.
13:54Your Honour, no, I will not.
13:56No, I don't want to hear it.
13:57This is completely normal and within my jurisdiction.
14:04Are you scared?
14:05No.
14:06Please let me talk to my client.
14:09In all my years, as a legal professional, I've never seen this before.
14:15You just have to survive this, and you'll be back with your kid.
14:22And drop.
14:24Rude.
14:27Rude.
14:28It didn't go well.
14:43My client is dead.
14:46I wouldn't say it's a good result.
14:48Thank you, Alice.
14:49Congrats on winning the case.
14:50Thank you.
14:58Okay, just a couple of quick questions for you.
15:01So, was Tiny Tim your child?
15:05Yeah, so it's interesting.
15:07Do you know what I think, in hindsight, what's made it quite complicated to understand is that I'm doing multiple characters' voices.
15:14And, unfortunately, I don't have the ability to modulate and or change my voice whatsoever.
15:21But then, at the end, I clearly just kind of lost interest in the whole thing.
15:25Yeah.
15:25And I left Tiny Tim behind.
15:28After all of that?
15:30After all of that?
15:30After all of those legal costs?
15:32Yeah.
15:32Did you leave Paul to raise Tiny Tim?
15:34I left Paul to raise Tiny Tim.
15:37In terms of the distances to the target, because that's really what we're judging here.
15:41I'm measuring from the bullseye of the target.
15:44The very centre.
15:44Brie, 8 metres 29.
15:47Oh, this isn't a good start for me.
15:49Pax, 10 metres 46.
15:51Alice, 5 metres 13.
15:54Jackie, 4 metres 18.
15:56Wow!
15:57And Jack, 3 metres 39.
15:59You're taking the pass.
16:02Okay, and then there's one more point for...
16:06Bonus point for the best break-up.
16:08And I think that's Alice.
16:10Okay.
16:10So that would mean one point for Pax, two points for Brie, four points for Alice, four points for Jackie, and five points for Jack.
16:19There we go.
16:23Who's winning the episode so far, Paul?
16:24Out and first with 10 points, Jack Ansett.
16:28Wow.
16:28Okay.
16:29Wow.
16:29This is how it feels.
16:31Wow.
16:31Okay.
16:32I am ready for another task, Paul.
16:33Last week, we had our first team task.
16:36This week, our first team task.
16:38Paul?
16:46Great.
16:47Oh, he's in the caravan.
16:49Hello, Alice.
16:51Paul?
16:52Hello, Jackie.
16:52Hello.
16:54What's that?
16:57Taskmaster deodorant.
16:59What are you trying to say?
17:00What are you trying to say?
17:01May I?
17:02Mm-hmm.
17:02Recreate an uncomfortable teenage moment with a different outcome.
17:10Biggest reversal of fortune wins.
17:14You have 40 minutes.
17:15Your time starts now.
17:18Oh, God, Paul.
17:19I don't like to think about my teenage years.
17:22When I was 15 in biology class, I realised I was gay and I threw up in the toilet.
17:26So you were so homophobic.
17:28Again, I'd be about myself.
17:30That it made you throw up.
17:31And then be straight for another 15 years.
17:34Wow.
17:39All right, bring on the first trip down memory lane, Paul.
17:42Let's head to the hallways of Burnside High School in Christchurch.
17:45Yeah, yeah?
17:46Jack Ansett.
17:47Oh, no.
17:48Year nine, I was in the musical Aladdin.
17:51I guess that was triggering for me because I really wanted to be the genie.
17:57And who got the role of the genie?
17:59Thomas, his name was.
18:01So, yeah, I guess I'm going to recreate the musical Aladdin.
18:05And I'm going to be the genie.
18:07And then I'm going to perform the hit number, Friend Like Me.
18:10Okay, you have to do kind of a knockoff.
18:12Yeah, sweet.
18:12So instead of Friend Like Me, it could be...
18:15Colleague.
18:16A colleague like me.
18:17Yeah.
18:17Opening night.
18:21Hey, brother.
18:22Hiya, Jack.
18:24Hey, congrats on the role.
18:26Well, thank you.
18:26Mm, you've been practicing hard?
18:28Big time.
18:29Well, guess what?
18:31I've been practicing too.
18:32Get on the floor now.
18:35Yeah.
18:35If you make a noise, it's over for you.
18:38Now get in.
18:39Let's go.
18:49Oi, hey, hey.
18:51You ain't never had a colleague like this guy.
18:54You ain't never had a colleague that's this fly.
18:57I'll talk to you at the water cooler
19:00because I'm your genie and you're my ruler.
19:03Hey, I'm available for after work drinks.
19:05Hey, you've got three wishes.
19:07One of your kinks.
19:09I'm here, never fair,
19:10because you ain't never had a colleague like this guy.
19:15So instead of missing out on a leading role,
19:30you instead abducted a boy called Thomas.
19:32Correct.
19:33Pushed him into a locker.
19:34Correct.
19:35Painted yourself green and then talked about kinks.
19:39I'm not a musical person.
19:41I said I'm not going to do a musical number
19:42at any point in the series.
19:44You chose to do that.
19:45I did do that, yes.
19:46Also, you didn't need to tell us
19:49that you're not a musical person.
19:50We saw it.
19:52All right, time for a break,
19:54and if you're thinking about your embarrassing teenage years,
19:57nothing makes that feeling go away faster
19:59than buying something off an advert.
20:01We'll see you in a time.
20:01APPLAUSE
20:15Welcome back to Taskmaster,
20:16where we're currently reliving our awkward teenage years.
20:20Where are we, Paul?
20:20It's time for a trip back to rural Queensland.
20:23It's Brie Thomas-L.
20:25Should we do a few?
20:26You could combine.
20:27Should we do my first kiss,
20:28then do my driving test,
20:30and then where I get my results from high school,
20:34which weren't good.
20:35OK, let's go.
20:37God, this has been an absolute breeze.
20:41Whoa, look at that!
20:42Are you safe?
20:44Very safe, thanks to your driving.
20:46That was some of the best driving I've ever seen.
20:49Thank you.
20:50I've watched the fast and also the furious, like, eight times.
20:54Here is your full driver's licence.
20:58Not even provisional?
20:59Correct.
21:00On the first go?
21:01First go.
21:02Thanks so much.
21:03Yeah!
21:04Mum and Dad!
21:06I'm so nervous about my end-of-school results.
21:08This could go really bad.
21:12Oh, my God!
21:14It's the best possible result I could ever get!
21:16I could become a doctor if I wanted!
21:19Love you.
21:21Love you too, Brie.
21:22Nick Jonas?
21:39Nick!
21:40Hey, Brie.
21:42What are you doing here?
21:43I've noticed you for a long time.
21:45How?
21:46You're just so...
21:48noticeable.
21:52Let's go make babies.
22:03Let's go make the Jonas sisters.
22:05Wow!
22:05Wow!
22:09Wow!
22:10When that recreation first started, I thought you were going to have your first kiss with the
22:15driving instructor.
22:17That was actually what happened, and I wanted to recreate a better moment.
22:21because my driving instructor was like 68.
22:22That is the second time that Paul's been kissed on screen in Taskmaster.
22:31We had to shoot that scene three times, and then the camera guy goes, you don't have to kiss, though, if you don't want, and both of us at the same time went, we'll kiss.
22:46Okay, who have we got next, Paul?
22:47Next, we're heading to the place where Auckland girls learn grammar.
22:51Auckland girls grammar.
22:53It's Alice Sneddon.
22:55Once I got an award for making a team I hadn't made.
22:58What was the team?
22:59Auckland cricket team, under-16s.
23:01The next day, I still went up on stage and accepted the award, because they wouldn't tell
23:05me what award I was getting at assembly, so I had to go.
23:10Then my whole family came to watch me win an award.
23:25Hello, Alice speaking.
23:26I come bearing good news.
23:28Yes.
23:29You made the Auckland under-16 cricket team.
23:32Oh my God, really?
23:33And on top of that, you will be receiving a special award at an after-hours school assembly tomorrow.
23:40Wow.
23:41Please invite your entire family to the award ceremony.
23:44Okay, thank you, Glenn.
23:48Please welcome to the stage to receive this honorary award, Alice Sneddon.
23:58Thank you.
23:59I know it's a little unorthodox to give a speech at a school assembly, but it just means
24:03so much to me that the school recognises this achievement and really did their due diligence
24:08to find out that I would make the team and get this award before throwing a whole school
24:12assembly for it.
24:13Of course.
24:14Thank you so much.
24:15I really appreciate it.
24:16Thank you.
24:17Screw it.
24:18Alice Sneddon Day.
24:19From here forth on, this will be Alice Sneddon Day.
24:22Alice Sneddon Day.
24:23Alice Sneddon Day.
24:24Alice Sneddon Day.
24:25Alice.
24:26Alice Sneddon Day.
24:27Liz.
24:28No, please stop.
24:29Okay.
24:30I mean, a l... a little bit longer.
24:33Alice.
24:35Alice.
24:36Alice.
24:37Alice.
24:38Alice.
24:39That was very cathartic to watch.
24:42And it was beautiful.
24:43And Paul was very gentle and supportive.
24:47et supporte.
24:48Le Glenn character.
24:49Le Glenn character.
24:50Je pense que c'était excellent.
24:51Glenn.
24:52Je veux savoir plus de Glenn.
24:53Si vous avez vu et que vous ne connaissiez pas Glenn
24:55comme une personne,
24:56vous vous demandiez,
24:57pourquoi est-ce que ce jeune homme est tellement investi
24:59dans cette 16 ans ?
25:01Mais truste-moi,
25:02c'était tout au bord.
25:04Je peux vous garantir que
25:06rien n'a pas eu vouloir.
25:11Wow.
25:12Ok.
25:13Qui est-ce next ?
25:14Now,
25:15to Wellington
25:16and the streets of Johnsonville.
25:17It's Jackie Van Beek.
25:19I was a very young teenager.
25:21My breasts were beginning to develop.
25:23I was too embarrassed to get a bra,
25:26so what I decided to do
25:28was wear swimming togs the whole week.
25:30Then, of course,
25:31one day,
25:32in the changing rooms,
25:33getting changed,
25:34and a kind of acquaintance of mine said...
25:36Why are you wearing your bathing suit
25:37under your regular clothes, Jackie?
25:39And I said,
25:40because I have a swimming lesson
25:42straight after school,
25:43like literally starts in like seven minutes,
25:45and I just wouldn't have time
25:46to get changed otherwise.
25:47And she was like,
25:48oh cool,
25:49do you go to the Keatsboro pool
25:50in Johnsonville?
25:51I said, yeah.
25:52No way,
25:53I live right next to that pool.
25:54It's so funny.
25:55Yeah, I'll walk there with you.
25:58We get to the swimming pool.
25:59She loiters.
26:00I have to go into the swimming pool.
26:02Okay, well,
26:03here we are.
26:04Better go off to my swimming lesson.
26:07Okay, bye.
26:08I have to talk to the person behind the desk.
26:11Can I help you?
26:12Can you just tell me,
26:13has that girl behind me gone already?
26:15Yeah, she's gone.
26:16Oh, thank God.
26:17So what would the new outcome be?
26:19I think it will happen at the pool.
26:21I hope this isn't inappropriate,
26:23but you have an incredible physique.
26:26You have the perfect body for swimming.
26:28I think you should go in there.
26:30We're doing a championship.
26:32Is that today right now?
26:33That's happening in five minutes.
26:35So that's what I did.
26:37And I became an absolute chang.
26:43Wow.
26:44Amazing.
26:46Amazing.
26:47She's broken the fourth wall again.
26:49You love breaking the fourth wall?
26:50Love breaking the fourth wall there at the end.
26:52Yeah, because I just like to stay connected to my audience.
26:55That's beautiful.
26:56So the trauma was that you got walked to the pool by a friend?
27:00Yeah.
27:01But I didn't have a swimming lesson.
27:03I made that up.
27:04Yeah, but in your better situation,
27:06you had a pedo man in a wig.
27:10That was Glenn.
27:11He'd grown his hair out.
27:13Yeah.
27:14In defense of Jackie,
27:15none of us are riding these characters as perverts.
27:17That's just sort of how Paul,
27:19the direction Paul,
27:21choosing to go.
27:23Okay.
27:24Should we let the trauma continue?
27:26Of course, Jeremy.
27:27Finally, we're heading to Hamilton's Hillcrest High School.
27:31It's Pax Asadi.
27:32I had a crush on a girl at high school.
27:35I won't say her name,
27:36but it rhymes with Bowie.
27:38And I got a text from an unknown number.
27:40While I was at Basketball Nationals,
27:41it said,
27:42Hey, Pax, this is Bowie.
27:44I've always had a crush on you.
27:46And for the entire tournament,
27:47I was texting her.
27:48And I thought I was in.
27:50And I said some,
27:51I said some things, man.
27:53Well, what I thought was we were two horny teenagers,
27:55but we weren't.
27:56It was a horny teenager
27:58texting his entire horny team.
28:04It's me,
28:05Pax Asadi,
28:06at the age of 16.
28:07Nice.
28:08Here,
28:09at High School Nationals.
28:11Whoa!
28:12I got a text.
28:13Oh, my God.
28:14Hi, Pax.
28:15This is your high school crush, Bowie.
28:17I am deeply in love with you.
28:18Please.
28:19I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
28:22Whoa!
28:23That's crazy, dude.
28:25He's such an idiot.
28:27He has no idea.
28:28Yeah.
28:29Hey, girl.
28:30I love you too.
28:31And I want to kiss you daily.
28:34Yeah.
28:35We're really embarrassing him.
28:37Look at the embarrassment on his face.
28:39What do you mean?
28:41It's not actually her sending the text.
28:43What?
28:44It was you guys the whole time?
28:46Crack up.
28:47Crack up, eh?
28:48Crack up.
28:49Yeah.
28:51Oli, what are you doing here at this basketball tournament in 2006?
28:55You should be at school.
28:56I didn't have your number,
28:57so I've been texting your teammates
29:00and asking them to pass the text on to you.
29:04So it has been you this whole time.
29:06I'm in love with you.
29:07Yes!
29:08Get in!
29:09Get in!
29:12So, what do we do now?
29:14I guess maybe we could get married, move to Ghana,
29:17and start a non-for-profit.
29:18Basketball-focused non-for-profit, where it's a basketball academy?
29:21Yeah.
29:24That's awesome.
29:25Ta-ta!
29:26Bye!
29:27Bye!
29:28Good luck in Ghana!
29:29Do you have a visa?
29:31Can you just go there?
29:33I guess so.
29:34Okay, so just a couple of quick points on that story.
29:38So the initial embarrassment was that your teammates witnessed your crazy horniness.
29:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:45And then in the recreation they still witnessed your crazy horniness.
29:48Yeah, but it was, but the horniness was coming from, uh, Zoe.
29:52Bowie.
29:53Um.
29:55So, Bowie, uh, I've said it now.
29:59Zoe is texting.
30:00I'm pretty sure we all figured it out already.
30:02No, I genuinely thought it was Joey.
30:04I was thinking Joey as well.
30:06I thought it was Chloe.
30:07Yeah, I thought Chloe.
30:08No, it's jokes.
30:09It's not Zoe.
30:10Alright, uh, this is going to be quite hard to score, because I felt everybody's trauma.
30:15Oh, yeah, yeah.
30:16Okay, but I'll give one point to Jack, because you clearly had a problem with not getting that role,
30:21but then you proved to us why you shouldn't have even got the role.
30:24Right.
30:25That's fair.
30:26I'll take that on the gym.
30:27Thank you.
30:28Jackie, I'll give you two, because you went from having an uncomfortable walk home
30:32to getting hit on by a man in a wig at a public pool reception.
30:37And then I'll go, uh, three for Alice, because obviously you went from humiliation to acceptance from Glenn.
30:44Pax, four for you.
30:46The humiliation of your teammates, that's not ideal.
30:48Mm.
30:49And then five for Bree, from the driving test to having babies with a Jonas brother.
30:53That's...
30:54Yeah.
30:55Paul.
31:00Blackout.
31:03Oh!
31:07It's worth it every time.
31:19Alright, that's enough awkward transitions from childhood to adulthood.
31:24It's time for a rapid transition into the ads.
31:28We'll see you after this.
31:29Tēnā koutou kato.
31:30Welcome back to Taskmaster, where contestants are willing to shave their fathers.
31:48Is it time for another task, Paul?
31:49Sure is, Jeremy.
31:50I accuse this tablet of containing a task.
31:53Show me task.
32:03Paul!
32:07God, it's good to see you again.
32:08Thank you for saying it.
32:09Oh, what have we got here?
32:13Nothing under the table.
32:14Task time.
32:15Task time.
32:17Collect the most coins.
32:19Most coins wins.
32:21You can gain a coin by successfully accusing an item of concealing one.
32:28To accuse an item, point at it and yell,
32:31Show me money?
32:32I feel like that should be, show me the money.
32:34Legal reasons.
32:36You may not touch the items.
32:38If no coin is found, you are bankrupt and disqualified.
32:40You may save your coins and walk away at any time by putting your coins in the piggy bank.
32:48Your time starts now.
32:50So the minute I point at an object that doesn't have a coin, I'm bankrupt and disqualified.
32:55Correct. You'll receive no points.
32:57Show me money!
33:00Yes.
33:01Completely original phrase.
33:05So this seems like a pretty simple task.
33:07It's kind of gambling, isn't it?
33:09It's gambling, yeah.
33:10Who's gambling first, Paul?
33:12Up first, Pax Saadi and Jackie Van Beek.
33:17Show me money.
33:21Aha!
33:22I knew it!
33:24Show me money.
33:25You've accused the milk.
33:27Show me money.
33:30Ooh, yeah.
33:33I knew it.
33:34What?
33:35Give me some money, baby.
33:37That's not the phrase.
33:38More money, more problems.
33:39All the information you need is you need to ask.
33:42Show me money.
33:44Paul's special folder contains a coin.
33:48That could be a double bluff.
33:50Remember that you can bank your coins at any time and leave with two coins banked.
33:56Yeah, but I'm a gambler.
33:57I have a theory that every single one of these items has money.
34:00Okay.
34:02Show me money, Paul.
34:04Show me money.
34:05It's a double bluff.
34:11Oh, it wasn't double bluff.
34:13Sorry, but you're bankrupt.
34:15That theory fell over real fast.
34:17Almost instantly.
34:18Yeah.
34:19And I tried to play it real cool.
34:21You did seem really cool.
34:23I was immediately wrong.
34:25That sucks, man.
34:36So, what happened in the end, Jackie? Lost everything?
34:39Both of them were bankrupt.
34:40Yeah.
34:41Isn't that cool?
34:43Up next, the two cheeses, Brie and Monterey Jack.
34:47Oh, Paul, I guess we just bloody do it, eh?
34:50Do what?
34:51Just kick it in the dick.
34:52Oh.
34:54Paul's special folder.
34:55I queues it.
34:57Show me money.
34:59The folder contains a coin.
35:02This would be the obvious pick, but you're probably not going to do that.
35:05Why is the Taskmaster around the wrong way?
35:08It says MT, not TM.
35:11The wallet's empty.
35:13Yes, Paul!
35:14I got one!
35:15I'm eyeing up the milk.
35:17You thirsty?
35:18Always.
35:20Show me money.
35:22Yeah, drink it up, Paul.
35:25The milk contains a coin.
35:27I love you, Paul.
35:31Oh, there's a leaf blower.
35:34I accuse this tennis ball.
35:36You wouldn't believe what I found.
35:41Is this working?
35:43Hard to say.
35:45Are coins made out of metal?
35:47Show me money.
35:50You got me!
35:51Today, modern coins are made from nickel.
35:54Sorry.
35:55It's quite boring, Paul.
35:59Hey!
36:01Show me money.
36:06Let's do it.
36:08The pot plant contains a coin.
36:09I'm so excited.
36:11I'm joking.
36:16Show me money!
36:19Show me money!
36:24Sorry.
36:25This rubber duck.
36:26Show me money.
36:31There's something inside the sweet hole here.
36:34Show me money.
36:36It's so fun when you win!
36:39So you're happy with that?
36:40Five coins?
36:41I honestly think I've done better than everyone else will have done at this.
36:46Three, four, five, six.
36:51Like the live studio, I want those four arseholes to know what I've done.
36:58Celebration dance.
37:00Yes, Paul.
37:01Yes, Paul.
37:02Yes, Paul.
37:03I don't know what was better, Brie, to be honest.
37:04Realising that that was MT, you must have been quite happy with yourself.
37:15Or the moonwalk.
37:17Both were pretty amazing moments, like doing the moonwalk in unison with Paul.
37:21Are we all incredibly impressed by Paul's Michael Jackson dance move?
37:24Yeah.
37:25Oh, yeah.
37:26Can you do one?
37:27Right now?
37:28Just one Michael Jackson dance move.
37:30Oh, that's good.
37:33He's come out.
37:35Oh, and Vickie, overall.
37:40Oh, yeah.
37:41Oh, yeah.
37:45It comes as no surprise to me that Pervert Paul's favorite –
37:47What a squeaky-clean celebrity to impersonate.
37:54So just to be clear, they decided to bank their money after six coins, is that right?
38:00Wow, interesting point. Bri, six coins, very solid. Jack, five, very solid. But I do have to show you this.
38:08Okay.
38:09The white powder contained a coin.
38:13Thank you. Do I put that in my piggy bank?
38:16If you want to bank it.
38:18Yeah, I do. Yep.
38:21Okay.
38:22Oh no.
38:23I didn't get it.
38:24What did I do?
38:24Oh no.
38:26So going back to the task wording.
38:27Oh my God.
38:29You may save your coins and walk away at any time by putting your coins in the piggy bank.
38:34Are you really going to do this? Are you really going to split hairs like this? Okay.
38:37That's quite frankly pathetic.
38:40This guy's going to blow. He's honestly, I can feel the vibration.
38:44I think we just need to give Jack a moment to recover from that shocking revelation and we'll see you after the break.
38:50Welcome back to Taskmaster, a show featuring five of New Zealand's best and brightest minds.
39:09so long as you don't count proper smart people like doctors.
39:13Where were we, Paul?
39:14We are watching our contestants attempt to find coins hidden in objects.
39:18Okay, who have we got left?
39:21Get ready for Alice Sneddy.
39:23Maybe I'll just go upstairs and get some coins.
39:27Okay.
39:28Just in case that's a thing.
39:37Show me money.
39:39No use crying over spilt milk.
39:41Congratulations.
39:44Show me money.
39:45Thank you.
39:49Show me money.
39:50Congratulations.
39:51Okay.
39:52I'm ready to bank.
39:53One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
40:02Now we're going over 10.
40:03Are you going to be okay?
40:04120, 121, 122, 144, 145.
40:15Would you like to bank those?
40:16Yes, please.
40:24When you were putting the 145th coin in the piggy bank, were you ever thinking, you know what, if I don't put in one more coin I might get beaten by Jack Ansett?
40:34Look, to be honest, I thought it was such a clear loophole that everyone was going to do it, and I was worried that I was so lazy.
40:41But I'm not, I'm not convinced that you're going to get away with it.
40:44Well, shut the f**k up.
40:47That's a great question.
40:48So collect the most coins, most coins wins.
40:51You can gain a coin by successfully accusing an item of concealing one.
40:55So essentially this task was do whatever the f**k you want.
40:58No.
40:59We just didn't read it through.
41:00It was reading comprehension.
41:02Legally, I think it works.
41:04Yeah, totally, it does work.
41:05It was, it was a good, it was a good point.
41:07It was a good point.
41:08So how would you want to score, so Jack and Pax, they were both bankrupt.
41:12One point?
41:13One point.
41:14One point.
41:15One point, yeah.
41:16And then I would give three points for Jack.
41:17Oh, thank you so much.
41:18And then I'd go four points for Brie.
41:20Yep.
41:21And then I'd go five points for Alice.
41:22The winner of the task is Alice Sneddon.
41:25Shall we have a look at the episode scores so far?
41:28It's very close.
41:29There's only one point in it, but out in first with 14 points, Jack-Anne set.
41:33Oh!
41:34Oh!
41:35Oh!
41:36Oh!
41:37Okay, get up onto the stage for the final task of the show.
41:41All right, Paul, what are we doing tonight?
41:47Alice Sneddon, please read the task.
41:50Make the tallest freestanding structure.
41:53You may only use balloons, tape, your pool noodles and umbrella.
41:58You have five minutes to construct your tower, after which it must stand on its own for ten seconds.
42:04Shit.
42:06On my whistle.
42:08Okay, this is getting out of hand.
42:19Get out of my box, please.
42:20Get out of my box.
42:21That's what she said.
42:22What's the thinking, Alice?
42:23I don't want to say it out loud.
42:25I'd rather not comment.
42:26Oh, I'm going to spend five minutes trying to find this thing.
42:29Oh, I just hit myself in the face with a dick.
42:32Really regretting wearing a skirt, Paul.
42:38What do you think that looks like?
42:42I'm going to add two balloons just there for you.
42:44Oh, okay.
42:45Maybe a rocket ship.
42:47Oh.
42:48Oh.
42:49Oh.
42:50Oh.
42:51Shit.
42:55Oh, no.
42:56Oh, no.
42:57I don't know what to do.
42:58I'm panicking.
42:59I thought there were three of these.
43:00Can I borrow one of yours?
43:01Can I borrow that?
43:02Oh, I've got a spare.
43:03A spare tall one.
43:04Oh, no.
43:05Shorty.
43:06Okay.
43:07My noodle's so flaccid.
43:08Brie is a hot mess.
43:09Brie, just a reminder, it has to stand up.
43:11I know, Paul.
43:12Okay.
43:13I don't have any ideas.
43:19Oh, Jack.
43:20Oh.
43:23Ow.
43:24Ow.
43:25Ow.
43:26Ow.
43:27Careful with that.
43:28Sorry.
43:29I can't get the tape off.
43:32Ten seconds.
43:33I have to win.
43:34The step is so.
43:37Step away.
43:38Step away, Brie.
43:39Hands away.
43:41Jack, step away, Jack.
43:43Step away.
43:50Okay, everyone leave everything up here.
43:53Head on down.
43:55And we'll measure them.
43:56Come on, Jack.
43:57Let's go.
43:58Come on, Jack.
43:59Come on.
44:00Come on.
44:05Alright.
44:07What happened there, Paul?
44:08Who won?
44:09Who lost?
44:10And who's somewhere in between?
44:11Firstly, the elephant in the room.
44:13Do we accept Jack's tower?
44:16Can I...
44:17Do I get the chance?
44:18No, you don't.
44:20I think we all know that that's unfair to everybody else,
44:22because everyone else built a structure from the base
44:24that was freestanding.
44:25Jack's was still attached to him.
44:27In that case, Brie, 25 centimetres.
44:30Mm-hmm.
44:31Jackie, 68 centimetres.
44:33Happy with that.
44:34Alice, 1 metre 48.
44:36Pax, 1 metre 50.
44:39Oh, you're joking!
44:41Two centimetres in it, yes.
44:43Yes.
44:44So that's 1 point for Jack, 2 points for Brie, 3 points for Jackie, 4 points for Alice, and
44:505 points for Pax Society.
44:51Wow.
44:52Wow.
44:53I think it'd be a good time to have a little bit of a series score update.
45:01Okay.
45:02It's very close.
45:04Out in first with 50 points, Jackie Van Beek.
45:07Wow.
45:08But who is the winner of Episode 3 of Taskmaster Season 6?
45:15With 17 points, the winner of Episode 3 is Alice Sneddon.
45:19Oh.
45:20Thank you.
45:22Okay.
45:23Congratulations, Alice.
45:24Please head up and enjoy your bounty.
45:26She loves the horse.
45:27Do you want to come with me, Jack?
45:28Come on.
45:29No.
45:30Come on, Jack.
45:31Okay.
45:32Thank you, Piano.
45:34We'll see you next time.
45:49He's still holding it.
45:53Welcome to Taskmaster, the show that comedians say yes to because they're desperate to reinvent
45:58Oh, non !
46:01Ou, en Jack and Seth's case, invent themselves.
46:04Oh, Jack's the weakest link !
46:08Ok, par round of applause,
46:10who knows who I am ?
46:15Oh, my God !
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