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00:00So the latest episode of Saturday Night's Main Event was nuts.
00:03I tell you, my friends, this is coming from me, not always in a good way.
00:07Otherwise, though, hello, my buddies, hello, my pals, hello, my brothers and sisters.
00:10Welcome to Ups and Downs, the only wrestling review show you need,
00:13with me, Simon the Bald Idiot, and we did just have SNME,
00:16which sounds a little bit like a disease, so it's time to take the finger of power,
00:19and we give the good bits an up, and we give the bad bits a down, and then we fight.
00:23Sound good? Awesome. Let's go.
00:25So let's get a general thing out of the way before we do kick off the commercials.
00:30Good grief.
00:31Now, I do actually find it difficult to criticize advertising in 2025,
00:34because with streaming coming in and TV desperately trying to hold on,
00:37it was always obvious that these things were going to double or triple or quadruple,
00:41but we don't need to care about that.
00:42We watch it from an entertainment standpoint, and with that in mind,
00:45well, it was just way too much.
00:47Now, you could barely get through a match before.
00:48Have you always wanted to be a wrestler?
00:50Well, now you can go one step further and become the lucha referee.
00:53A lucha referee?
00:55That's right, the lucha referee.
00:56Part lucha, part referee, coming to you soon from Mattel.
00:59Without some kind of commercial interrupting you,
01:02so I'm going to give it a down.
01:04It was just a little bit laborious.
01:06Big work.
01:07When we did get to some of the best stuff on the show, though,
01:09because our opening contest was Seth Rollins and Brumbraker taking on CM Punk and Sami Zayn.
01:13It was exactly what it needed to be.
01:15Because as soon as the bell rung, they did start to fight.
01:17There was no headlocks because they hate each other.
01:19That wouldn't make any sense when eventually we had Sami Zayn going against Seth Rollins.
01:23And, of course, this hit you in the tum-tum with emotion
01:25because they were friends at the start of the year.
01:28And now, look at them.
01:29They've totally fallen out.
01:30Him and Brumbraker also used Alan the announce table to totally kill Sami.
01:34When I tell you, Brumbraker was throwing him around the ring.
01:37He started to do those push-ups.
01:38Now, one side of your brain is probably going,
01:40oh my gosh, he's such an arrogant Alan.
01:42Or, we remember his lineage.
01:44We remember his family background.
01:46He's a Steiner man.
01:47He probably thinks it's just what you do in wrestling
01:49because Rick and Scott were totally obsessed with it.
01:51It was, of course, building to Sami Zayn getting the hot tag to CM Punk.
01:54Honestly, I don't know what's happened to CM Punk after WrestleMania,
01:58but this dude is even more over, and he was pretty more over before.
02:02But when he came out to make his entrance,
02:04you would have thought somebody had told the crowd,
02:06we're going to give you free pizzas for life.
02:08They were doing backflips.
02:09Seth was able to stop at GTS2 when Punk decided,
02:11all right, screw it,
02:13and he hit a code red of all things for a one-two-oo.
02:15Now, somebody said this.
02:17It could be a shout-out to Darby Allin, who just climbed Mount Everest.
02:20Now, listen, I know everybody likes to throw shots on the internet.
02:23It's how many individuals get through a day,
02:25but there ain't no ifs or buts about it.
02:27Climbing Mount Everest is an incredible achievement,
02:30and Darby Allin deserves all the praise in the world.
02:32So if Punk was doing this, they'd get it.
02:34He was able to get the GTS in and go for the cover.
02:36Obviously, Bron Breaker broke up that,
02:38and then Bron Breaker was in there,
02:39and Pedigrees were being hit on people,
02:41but Sami Zayn broke that up.
02:42It's your classic WWE tag match,
02:44where it's like, I'm your friend, so I'll help you,
02:46and he's their buddy, so he's going to help you.
02:49One-two-oo.
02:50I don't know what we're talking about.
02:51Zayn also took out Bron Breaker at one point
02:53with his springboard moonsault,
02:54and I wonder if that was a shout-out to Sabu.
02:56We will never know,
02:57when all of a sudden,
02:58I think they looked in the bottom of the screen,
03:00and went, you're not going to believe this, guys,
03:02but we've all filled up our meters,
03:04which would probably go for our finishers.
03:06Sami was then going to go for his aluva kit
03:08when Seth grabbed the foot,
03:09because that's a good way to stop him,
03:10and Punk spied this,
03:11and then he remembered it's 2025,
03:13so he did a dive,
03:14and that meant everybody was now fighting,
03:16so Paul Heyman got involved,
03:18when I kid you not.
03:19CM Punk was on the outside,
03:20hanging out, playing Nintendo,
03:22when Bronson Reed decided,
03:23I think I'm over my injury, mate,
03:25and he ran at poor CM,
03:28and he crushed him through Barry Barricade,
03:29and of course, at the same time,
03:31Sami Zayn was a wrestler,
03:32with other wrestling shenanigans
03:33happening outside of the squared circle.
03:35He couldn't handle this.
03:36He didn't know what was going on,
03:38so Bron Breaker speared the soul out of him,
03:41and he pinned him for the one-two-three.
03:42I think it went even better as well,
03:44because Bron Breaker was all like,
03:45I will fight you, Mr. Bronson Reed,
03:47when Seth Rollins moved him out the way,
03:48and he gave Reed a big old hug,
03:50for that strike one,
03:51as far as Bron Breaker is concerned,
03:53but we won't know for that a while.
03:55He wasn't clued up to this,
03:56and eventually, he's gonna snap.
03:58Now, yeah, some people are going crazy about this,
04:00going, but wait a minute,
04:01Seth Rollins and Bronson Reed had that feud,
04:03we have to wait for Raw,
04:04because there's so many ways you could explain this.
04:06One, Seth was like,
04:08he did try to kill me,
04:09so I'd rather have him on my team.
04:11Also, too, I hate CM Punk so much,
04:14even if I have to recruit my enemies,
04:16well, that's what I'm going to do.
04:17I ain't gonna start throwing shade
04:19before I have the explanation.
04:20Of course, Bronson Reed went tsunami crazy after this as well,
04:23and basically made sure everybody was totally dead,
04:25and I think this is an inspired choice.
04:27I'm so happy Bronson is back.
04:29I never picked him as the third guy,
04:31but I'm a massive idiot,
04:32but whoever did come up with the idea,
04:34round of applause.
04:35So this really was a very good match,
04:36and again, I want to see where this feud is going to go,
04:38especially because at the end of it,
04:39Seth Rollins probably does become the world heavyweight champion.
04:42It is not.
04:43Two plus two equals potato.
04:45It does make sense.
04:46Up.
04:46When it was time for Chelsea Green versus Zelina Vega
04:49for the Women's US Championship,
04:50let's get the bad out of the way first.
04:52Because the fans were just not into this,
04:54and it's not Chelsea's fault,
04:55and it's not Zelina's fault.
04:56We are just not doing enough with this championship,
04:59like it was born at the December Saturday's main event,
05:02and ever since then,
05:02well, it's just been a bit wishy-washy.
05:04It also tied in here,
05:05because they only got five minutes,
05:06which once again is going to tell the audience,
05:08you don't really need to care about this.
05:10And yes, towards the end,
05:11Zelina Vega went for a 6-1-9.
05:13She made a mistake,
05:14and she booted Chelsea right in the face,
05:16and it sounds like she broke her nose.
05:17Now, I cannot stand some of the discourse here.
05:20I wrestle, and sometimes bad things just happen.
05:23You don't plan for it.
05:24You don't prepare it.
05:25You could be the best wrestler in the world,
05:26but then something goes hook-de-boo,
05:28and you don't know what to do,
05:29and that rhymes so it must be true,
05:30so can we all just calm down?
05:32Ultimately, though,
05:32when you do throw it all into a pot,
05:34you do have to give it a bit of a down.
05:35Again, I'm not placing the blame on anybody's shoulders,
05:38but it was just a bit,
05:39I'm not sure this is working.
05:41Overall, though, the match was mostly fine.
05:43Again, we didn't have any time,
05:44so you couldn't really get into it.
05:46Although there was this powerbomb onto the floor
05:48by Chelsea Green,
05:49and because Vega is so small,
05:51I thought she made me dead.
05:52Chelsea also worked the chin,
05:53because nobody wants to have a hurty chin-chin.
05:55That makes all the sense in the world.
05:56When, yes, eventually Zelina battled back,
05:58she did that kind of crazy 6-1-9,
06:00and she did hit this code red,
06:02basically from the ropes.
06:04That looked pretty badass.
06:05One, two, three.
06:05There's also distractions from the secret of Hervis,
06:07which didn't work,
06:08which just takes that conversation
06:09and makes it even more confusing.
06:11Listen, the body of this was perfectly fine.
06:13There was nothing wrong with it,
06:14but we just need to give a little bit more love
06:16to this championship
06:17and ensure there's proper feuds
06:19that we can care about.
06:21Like, Chelsea Green is damn entertaining,
06:23and she barely even cuts in-ring promos anymore.
06:26That doesn't make any sense to me.
06:27We will have to wait and see.
06:29Jimmy Hart and Bushwhacker Luke
06:30were then shown in the crowd,
06:31so there was your hip nostalgia for the evening,
06:34when we also learned,
06:35at that NXT AAA show,
06:37we are getting Chad Gable versus Vakingo.
06:39So if you're one of these crazy people on the internet,
06:41you better get excited.
06:42When it was time for R-Truth versus John Cena,
06:44and everybody seemed to hate this,
06:45at least in the preamble,
06:47apart from me,
06:47I was so pumped,
06:49and I was justified in my dumb life right away,
06:52because after John Cena had made his entrance,
06:54R-Truth obviously made his,
06:56and he just copied John Cena verbatim,
06:59and he's even got his own John Cena merchandise now,
07:01and it says,
07:02Ron Cena,
07:03I am going to be buying that shirt.
07:05Dawn attacked him from behind as well,
07:06because he's an asshole now,
07:07and not only did he take this merchandise,
07:09and throw it into the crowd,
07:10I swear he also ripped R-Truth's earrings from his ear,
07:14and did the same.
07:15I'm sorry,
07:16that is way too much.
07:17You shouldn't be doing that.
07:18You don't touch another man's earrings.
07:20We then,
07:20and I kid you not,
07:21had John Cena do his five moves of doom,
07:23and that must have hit R-Truth's go button,
07:25because he stood up,
07:27he hit the five moves of doom,
07:28and he applied the STFU,
07:30and just go and listen to the fans.
07:32You could feel the joy,
07:33and then the entertainment in the room,
07:34that's all I ask from professional wrestling,
07:36if I dedicate some of my entertainment hours to you,
07:39make sure you entertain me back.
07:40He even got the AA before,
07:41all of that for a one-two,
07:42ooh,
07:43not gonna lie,
07:43I was desperate for him to win,
07:44because I have problems,
07:45when of course John Cena went,
07:47ha ha,
07:48I am a massive dickhead,
07:49and he threw R-Truth into really the ring post.
07:51Now,
07:52this essentially created some sort of shenanigan moment,
07:54when he got his title belt,
07:56but when he looked at R-Truth,
07:57he wasn't able to do it.
07:59Now,
07:59we don't know if this is John Cena having second thoughts,
08:01the WWE is playing up to that,
08:03but the issue there,
08:04is when the referee went to get rid of this championship,
08:07John Cena went,
08:07ha ha,
08:08he booted R-Truth right in his groinal region,
08:12he gave him the AA,
08:13that was a one-two-three,
08:14and once again,
08:15this didn't go very long at all.
08:16Of course,
08:17right after this as well,
08:18John Cena smashed R-Truth in the face with the belt,
08:20because we have to hate him,
08:22I was a little bit confused,
08:23because I thought he would have gone well in here,
08:25to the point you have the Simpsons meme of,
08:27stop,
08:27stop,
08:27he's already dead,
08:29so we'll have to see how all this plays out,
08:30but I don't know why,
08:32I just wanted to see R-Truth versus John Cena,
08:34in this John Cena retirement run,
08:36and I got it,
08:37and I liked it,
08:38so I am going to give it an up,
08:39and just to make it very clear,
08:40if you didn't like it,
08:41that's perfectly fine,
08:43because trust me,
08:43there's something that's going to happen around about 10 minutes,
08:45that I didn't like either,
08:46and you're probably going to get mad at that,
08:49so let's just shake hands,
08:50and go for a pizza,
08:51sound good,
08:52awesome,
08:52I am giving it an up,
08:53and yes,
08:54to tie into what I was just talking about,
08:55John Cena did go and find Jey Uso,
08:57in the back after this,
08:58I was like,
08:59man,
08:59it would be a shame,
09:00if you lost to the YouTuber,
09:02and then basically insinuated,
09:03if Logan Paul did become the champion,
09:05and John Cena retires with the other world championship,
09:08then his quest to ruin wrestling,
09:09would have been achieved,
09:11I was like,
09:11John Cena,
09:11you ain't lying,
09:12he made it clear,
09:13he shall be watching the match,
09:14which was very nice,
09:15as I was like,
09:15oh man,
09:15maybe John is a good guy again,
09:17when we moved into the steel cage,
09:19Drew McIntyre vs Damien Priest,
09:21and excellently,
09:22Jesse Ventura was on commentary,
09:24my gosh,
09:25do I like that,
09:26they just murdered each other as well,
09:27because they were fighting,
09:28even before the bell went down,
09:30which allowed them to throw a bunch of chairs into the ring,
09:32when after about two minutes,
09:34Drew threw Damien into the steel,
09:35so Damien threw Drew into the steel,
09:37that's just the way with a steel cage,
09:38imagine one day,
09:40we have a steel cage,
09:41and nobody uses the steel,
09:43we won't know what to do with ourselves,
09:44my favourite part as always,
09:45is when they both start climbing it,
09:47because they basically become Mario,
09:48from Super Mario World,
09:49in Bowser's Castle,
09:50when we got a big chokeslam from Damien Priest,
09:52for a good one two ooh,
09:53when Drew McIntyre and him were climbing again,
09:55and McIntyre decided,
09:56well I know how I can slip you Mr. Damien Priest,
09:58and he gave him a superplex,
10:00I mean that was pretty smart,
10:01he also hit the claymore,
10:02and Damien Priest did kick out of that,
10:03which I kind of felt like was a big deal,
10:05when essentially Damien was doing claymores to him,
10:07so Drew was doing chokeslams to him,
10:09and at this point I was like,
10:10I do not know who's going to win here,
10:13when Drew McIntyre was like,
10:14I'm just going to do what I did at Wrestlemania,
10:17he set the chair up in the corner of the ring,
10:19but when he went to do the claymore,
10:20Damien's brain went,
10:22uh Priest,
10:22this happened before,
10:23I think we should move,
10:24and he did,
10:25what a smart guy,
10:26from here though,
10:27Damien got that chair,
10:29and he took it,
10:29and he basically crushed Drew McIntyre's larynx,
10:32by stabbing the chair thingamajig,
10:34into his neck,
10:35when he was like,
10:36oh my gosh,
10:36one chair,
10:37two chair,
10:37three chair more,
10:38and he laid one under Drew's head,
10:40he got the other one,
10:41and he gave him the concerto,
10:43and fair play to Michael Cole,
10:44he even said,
10:45isn't that what he did to Edge,
10:47the original creator of the Judgment Day,
10:49I like a callback,
10:50it just meant that Drew McIntyre was dead,
10:52and he sold it like this too,
10:53when Damien Priest,
10:55used the door to escape,
10:56now Jesse Ventura had a meltdown about this,
10:58saying what a cowardly way to win,
11:00and Michael Cole tried to justify it,
11:02saying yes,
11:03but he's done it,
11:04because he wants to,
11:05sorry,
11:05he wants to embarrass Drew McIntyre,
11:08what a crappy way to win,
11:09I was like,
11:10man,
11:10we should not have said that,
11:12I understand what we're doing here,
11:13quite clearly WWE decided,
11:14we don't pin him,
11:15because that way we can try to protect Drew,
11:17just a little bit,
11:17because apparently a visual pinfall,
11:19is worth it being thrown out the window,
11:21but having that cap yet by commentary,
11:24it made Damien Priest seem like a goober,
11:26and Damien Priest should never seem like a goober,
11:28because Damien Priest is flippin' awesome,
11:29now the rumour on the internet,
11:30is that Drew may have to take some time off,
11:32so I hope he is okay,
11:33he was talking about his neck,
11:34not being able to work properly the other day,
11:36but of course this was good,
11:38because these two guys just totally get it,
11:40and they have great chemistry,
11:41and they should be teaching science class,
11:43so I'm going to give it up,
11:44and implore you to go and watch it,
11:45they just kicked each other's ass,
11:47but I do have to give the finisher down,
11:50just the stupidest thing I've ever heard,
11:52if you truly wanted to get a victory,
11:54over somebody you hated,
11:55you would just pin him,
11:56why would you care about embarrassing them,
11:58I tell you what's more embarrassing,
11:59the next time you see him,
12:00hey,
12:01do you remember when I pinned you,
12:02in the best way possible in a cage match,
12:04but it doesn't matter,
12:05we can move on,
12:06more importantly,
12:07I hope Drew McIntyre's alright,
12:08when we got to the main event,
12:09and I should tell you to brace yourselves,
12:12because we do indeed have to get into it,
12:13I tell you who so kind,
12:14of outwrestled Logan Paul here,
12:16which makes all the sense in the world,
12:17when Logan came back with a blockbuster,
12:18and a dive,
12:19because it is 2025,
12:21listen,
12:21he's been doing this sports entertainment thing,
12:23for long enough,
12:23he should understand the rules,
12:25when Jay got back into this as well,
12:26he hit the hip attack,
12:27which is everybody's favourite move of the year,
12:29I mean who doesn't do it,
12:31and then yes,
12:31Logan Paul hit a very good looking lion salt,
12:34I just want to make it clear here,
12:35before people do have a meltdown,
12:37I do think Logan Paul is very talented,
12:38he quite clearly knows,
12:39what he's doing in the ring,
12:40Jay came back with a pop-up Samoan drop,
12:42and it is perfectly fine,
12:43so he did my research,
12:44and he is Samoan,
12:45and Logan Paul was so scared at this point,
12:46he was just flailing his arms around,
12:48like a Bailey buddy,
12:49when he grabbed team the turnbuckle,
12:51and because there was so much pressure,
12:52he exposed the steal,
12:54and the referee did nothing about this,
12:56because why wouldn't you want metal looking at you in the face,
12:58Paul then punched Jay with his loaded fist,
13:00or whatever the flub we're calling it,
13:02but when he went for the buckshot,
13:03Jay Uso super kicked him,
13:05which was really good,
13:06but then yes,
13:06when our world heavyweight champion went for the spear,
13:09Logan Paul had watched that Damian Priest match,
13:11he got out of the way,
13:12and Jay Uso went right into the exposed steal,
13:15I tell you I had a conniption,
13:16now that really did lead to a great one-two,
13:18and I was passed out on the floor,
13:19and this is when Jay was like,
13:20listen,
13:21I'm just going to hit all my moves and beat you,
13:23and he did do this,
13:24when from nowhere,
13:25the referee got pulled out of the ring,
13:27when he was making the count,
13:28WWE's other favourite finish,
13:30and it's because John Cena had been telling the truth,
13:33and he just helped Logan Paul,
13:36I kind of looked around this room,
13:37and I was like,
13:37damn it,
13:38we have 100% just entered the Phantom Zone,
13:40but actually this worked really well,
13:42because instantly Cody Rhodes' music hit,
13:44and oh my gosh,
13:45did this building explode,
13:46and did I,
13:47because I realised I have missed Cody,
13:49I'm so pleased he's back,
13:50however,
13:51I do have to say,
13:52one of two things happened here,
13:53one,
13:54Cody only just arrived at the building,
13:55which made sense why he only just saw him,
13:58or two,
13:59he's been hanging out in the back,
14:00and he'd seen all these terrible things,
14:02that John Cena was doing,
14:03he was like,
14:03listen,
14:04I'm only going out there,
14:05when I really feel like there's a need,
14:07Cody hit the crossroads on John Cena,
14:08instantly as well,
14:09to take him out of the game,
14:10when Logan Paul tried to use the knucks,
14:11but Jay was like,
14:12nope,
14:13he hit the spear,
14:14he got the Uso splash,
14:15I'm not kidding you,
14:16in around about three seconds,
14:17obviously,
14:18Jay Uso had retained his belt,
14:20so this match wasn't that long either,
14:21and afterwards,
14:21Cody did grab the microphone,
14:23and he actually said,
14:24hey man,
14:25Mr. John Cena,
14:26I see you've now got a friend in Logan Paul,
14:28when my brother Jay Uso is standing here,
14:31so we are going to do a tag team match,
14:33at Money in the Bank,
14:35hot damn,
14:35let's focus on the shenanigans here first,
14:37because I actually thought this was worked very well,
14:38and once again,
14:39it didn't overstay its welcome,
14:41and listen,
14:41anytime Cody Rhodes was going to come back,
14:43in a situation like this,
14:44I'm always going to give it an up,
14:46he calls himself QB1,
14:48and he's my damn hero,
14:49as for the future though,
14:50in this tag team match,
14:51it's not for me,
14:52and no,
14:52it's nothing against Logan Paul,
14:54and it's nothing against anybody else in that match,
14:56it's just not something I want to see at Money in the Bank,
14:58I searched my feelings,
14:59because I realised it was true,
15:00now I actually do like Rhodes and Uso being back together,
15:02because it ties back into that awesome press conference,
15:05when they just had a whale of a time,
15:06and in many ways,
15:07that is when Jay jumped up to a next level,
15:09because he was just so damn entertaining,
15:11I just do not get how you can ever justify,
15:13John Cena teaming with Logan Paul,
15:15even if you do have this destroyed wrestling idea,
15:17if I was John,
15:18I'd be like,
15:18hey,
15:19Bronson Reed,
15:20apparently you want to come back to wrestling,
15:22you're a much better destroyer,
15:23you now with me,
15:24so yes,
15:24there's nothing wrong with it,
15:25and as always,
15:26I want to make it clear,
15:27if you think this is the greatest thing to ever happen in the history of the world,
15:30not just pro wrestling,
15:31I am so happy for you,
15:33to repeat what I said earlier,
15:34wrestling is there to entertain you,
15:36so I just want you to be entertained,
15:38but this is one of the few WWE shows that ended,
15:40I was like,
15:41man,
15:41I don't want what they just advertised,
15:44that's very rare in my life,
15:46but when I do put all of that in a bucket,
15:47I do have to give it a down,
15:49and I'm sure it will be an over the top joy,
15:51because WWE does know how to book shenanigans,
15:53but I would much rather a singles match or something else,
15:56even though quite clear would do that SummerSlam,
15:58but I can't lie to you,
15:59even though people got on the mirror,
16:00who just makes up how he feels,
16:01no I don't,
16:02I'm an honest Harry,
16:03there it is,
16:04and it's getting it down,
16:05but overall I shall give Saturday's main event an up,
16:07but I will say,
16:08if you fancy skipping this,
16:10you probably can,
16:11although I would watch that opening tag match,
16:13and the cage match,
16:14I thought they were pretty good,
16:15but it certainly wasn't a disaster,
16:17or anything like that,
16:18so if you have two hours today,
16:19I'm pretty sure it's on YouTube,
16:21I will give it a minor up,
16:22otherwise my friends,
16:23make sure you let me know what you thought about the show,
16:25in the comments below,
16:25like the video,
16:26share the video and subscribe,
16:27kick the video on the screen,
16:28which is ups and downs for Smackdown,
16:29the why it's the back,
16:30I've had a few things to say about that,
16:32but otherwise interact with the video,
16:33have a lovely day,
16:35we will be back tomorrow,
16:36with the AEW show,
16:37and if I can find time,
16:39I shall do NXT as well,
16:40I got that this week too,
16:41oh Simon you're so biased,
16:43I'm a freelancer dammit,
16:44I just do what I'm told,
16:46but it doesn't matter,
16:46I'm having a good old time,
16:47I love you too,
16:49let's go on a date,
16:50see you then.
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