Greg Gutfeld Show 12826 FULL END SHOW  ᖴO᙭ ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS January 28, 2026 - video Dailymotion

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Greg Gutfeld Show 12826 FULL END SHOW  ᖴO᙭ ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS January 28, 2026 #FoxNews #TrumpNews #BreakingNews Gutfeld Show 1/28/26 FULL END SHOW | ᖴO᙭ ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS January 28, 2026 #FoxNews #TrumpNews #BreakingNews ▶▶ Watch more Fox News Video: 👉🏻 5AM: Fox and Friends First 👉🏻 6AM: Fox and Friends 👉🏻 9AM: America's Newsroom 👉🏻 20AM: Cavuto LIVE ( Saturday ) 👉🏻 20AM: Sunday Morning Futures with Maria Bartiromo ( Sunday ) 👉🏻 22AM: The Faulkner Focus 👉🏻 22AM: Medibuzz ( Sunday ) 👉🏻 22PM: Outnumbered 👉🏻 22PM: FOX News Live 👉🏻 5PM: The Five 👉🏻 6PM: Fox Report with Jon Scott ( Saturday and Sunday ) 👉🏻 7PM: Jesse Watters Primetime 👉🏻 7PM: The Big Saturday Show ( Saturday ) 👉🏻 7PM: The Big Sunday Show ( Sunday ) 👉🏻 8PM: Fox News Tonight 👉🏻 8PM: One Nation with Brian Kilmeade ( Saturday ) 👉🏻 8PM: Life, Liberty & Levin ( Sunday ) 👉🏻 9PM: Sean Hannity 👉🏻 9PM: Lawrence Jones Cross Country ( Saturday ) 👉🏻 9PM: Sunday Night in America with Trey Gowdy ( Sunday ) 👉🏻 20PM: The Ingraham Angle 👉🏻 20PM: FOX News Saturday Night ( Saturday ) 👉🏻 22PM: Gutfeld .......

Transcript

00:00.

00:05I know!

00:10I know, I know, I know!

00:15It's good to see me, too.

00:17Good evening, everyone.

00:18So, Patriots head...

00:20Head coach Mike Vrabel said he would cut off his own penis to win a...

00:25A Super Bowl.

00:26A Super Bowl.

00:27In a related story, J.B. Pritzker said he'd do...

00:30He'd do the same for a burrito bowl.

00:32A burrito bowl.

00:35Mmm, delicious.

00:36A broken sewer pipe has left the Potomac...

00:40A river with 12,000 times the limit of E. coli, which causes...

00:45Intense diarrhea.

00:47While people have reported symptoms, life went on...

00:50Non-as-usual for one man.

00:55Because he has it every day.

00:57Do I have to explain these jokes to everybody?

01:00A Kenyan activist broke a Guinness World Record...

01:05By hugging a tree for 72 consecutive hours.

01:10I believe we have a picture.

01:15Which one's the tree?

01:20One of them has wood.

01:21Yeah.

01:22Are you sure?

01:24California...

01:25He reportedly received millions of dollars to provide FODE and...

01:30...internet for 94,000 dead people.

01:34To be fair, they were alive.

01:35When they called for service.

01:38Because, you know, you're always on hold.

01:40These jokes.

01:42Kanye West is now blaming his hatred of...

01:45...Jews on an undiagnosed brain injury.

01:48Why was it undiagnosed?

01:50Well, he didn't want to go see a Jewish doctor.

01:52LAUGHTER

01:55A Georgia state rep filed a resolution to renew...

02:00...Name the Sawney Mountains after President Trump.

02:03Oh, yeah.

02:04Yeah.

02:06Big Sawney Mountains.

02:06Sit down, everybody.

02:08To be fair, they also want to rename...

02:10...Death Valley after this guy.

02:11LAUGHTER

02:12Yeah.

02:15They're waking up.

02:16That got them on their feet.

02:18Now you're cooking with oil, kid.

02:19LAUGHTER

02:20Jimmy Kimmel cried on his show Monday...

02:23...while talking about Minneapolis.

02:25We don't know if he was sincere...

02:26...but sources say before he took the stage...

02:28...he'd been reading his ratings.

02:30LAUGHTER

02:31And finally, a new report shows that men who gave...

02:35...get busted sleeping with prostitutes...

02:37...can attend a John school where completing...

02:40...the courses would mean no jail time.

02:42And one man has already graduated...

02:45...can't come loud.

02:45LAUGHTER

02:50Two jokes in one.

02:54LAUGHTER

02:55All right, stop everything, America.

02:57Actor Ed Norton is demanding a national economic...

03:00...strike to get ice out of Minnesota.

03:02Because are these not normal times?

03:05These are not normal times and...

03:07...and it's...

03:08...it's...

03:09...it's...

03:10...like we have...

03:12...we have, you know, extrajudicial...

03:15...like assaults on Americans...

03:17...and humans going on...

03:18...on a daily basis now.

03:19I think...

03:20...we should be talking about a national...

03:21...national...

03:22...general economic strike...

03:23...until this is over.

03:24And...

03:25...and...

03:26...stopped.

03:27Wow, look at that couch.

03:28LAUGHTER

03:29Pretty brave, eh?

03:30This coming from the guy whose biggest sacrifice this year...

03:33...was switching to diet caviar.

03:35...when feeding his puma.

03:37LAUGHTER

03:38Then there's NYU professor...

03:40...Scott Galloway...

03:41...who also doesn't mind if you feel the pain.

03:44I'm talking about something...

03:45...quieter...

03:47...far more unsettling to the system...

03:49...and that is...

03:50...an economic strike.

03:51A short-term coordinated withdrawal from spending...

03:54...and maybe work...

03:55...wealthy households took their spending down 10%...

03:57...and middle-class and lower-income households...

03:59...which have a...

04:00...difficult time...

04:01...reducing their spend...

04:02...took it down 5%.

04:03You would take GDP...

04:05...almost...

04:06...over-night.

04:07Overnight.

04:08LAUGHTER

04:09LAUGHTER

04:10...not true.

04:11But who is he talking to?

04:13Certainly not the penalty...

04:15...orphans in my wallet factory.

04:17And not most Americans either.

04:19Sorry...

04:20...Scott...

04:21...most people aren't going to stop buying food for their kids...

04:23...because you said so.

04:24So you got an...

04:25...an actor and an academic...

04:26...two jerks...

04:27...insulated from the consequences of their own...

04:30...demands.

04:31Both are worth millions and can afford a few days...

04:33...without a $20 smoothie...

04:35...from a cafe that's so hip...

04:37...the female barista has a penis.

04:39LAUGHTER

04:40...and their jobs aren't exactly necessary...

04:43...for society's function.

04:45You think America is going to miss another Ed Norton movie?

04:48Or a podcast?

04:50...from Galloway?

04:51That's like choosing between gonorrhea and syphilis.

04:54LAUGHTER

04:55But with a national strike...

04:57...everyone with real jobs and actual families suffer.

05:00But that's just a pesky detail...

05:02...for the happily insulated virtue signaller.

05:05They either don't see that their luxury ideas have grave consequences...

05:08...or they don't care.

05:10Galloway lives in London.

05:11Easy for him to skip a meal there.

05:13The food sucks.

05:14LAUGHTER

05:15But the big joke here is that they think they'll be taken seriously.

05:19That's the only...

05:20...good thing about their advice...

05:22...no one takes it.

05:24Climate change, crime...

05:25...trans, you listen to them.

05:26It's all the same.

05:27The issue is irrelevant because it's really about their...

05:30...egos.

05:31Whether it's open borders or ending bail, Dems don't see beyond the...

05:35...instant, gratifying attention.

05:37Then they lose interest once the...

05:40...the grim fallout follows.

05:42Because by the time the damage became evident, they've already moved...

05:45...on.

05:46You know, it reminds me of the Free Britney movement...

05:48...which was all the rage...

05:50...among those who flit from one cause to the next.

05:53Oh, they got their wish.

05:54Britney was legally...

05:55...emancipated, but she was still mentally ill.

05:58And as her social...

06:00...so-called champions moved on, she remained on Instagram...

06:03...nearly naked, damaged.

06:05...dancing with knives.

06:06Or what Bill Clinton called...

06:07...a challenge.

06:10Her saviors were not saviors at all, just self-involved douchebags...

06:15...who enabled this self-destruction...

06:17...self-destruction to then be handled...

06:20...by the family members that they had demonized.

06:23Sound familiar?

06:24Well, look it up.

06:25...and the police...

06:26...who's only in Minneapolis to clean up the mess...

06:28...that open borders caused.

06:30And now those who caused this...

06:32...label those guys the Nazis.

06:35...and then they lie and say, nobody asked for this.

06:38Nobody asked for this, nobody...

06:40...put them up to it.

06:41They decided to launch this...

06:43...in order to show off what they could...

06:45...do.

06:46And now they are in full retreat.

06:48If you were one of millions of...

06:50...Americans who protested...

06:52...ice out of Minneapolis...

06:54...you should know...

06:55...that night you are winning this thing.

06:56You are winning.

06:58Winning what exactly?

07:00Who are you rooting for?

07:01More dead people?

07:03From her comfortably warm and secure...

07:05...in the studio.

07:06She applauds the chaos...

07:07...that caused two deaths.

07:09Which was the...

07:10...point all along.

07:11Create chaos...

07:12...leading to tragedy...

07:13...which causes more chaos.

07:15...and Rachel's numbers will go up.

07:17But why isn't she out there...

07:19...leading the charge?

07:20...instead of home ripping...

07:21...phone books in half...

07:22...to maintain forearm strength.

07:25I guess it's just better...

07:27...for others to risk their lives...

07:28...doing stupid...

07:29...that drives...

07:30...her ratings up.

07:31She's a modern-day Eddie Haskell...

07:33...egging her friend to eat...

07:35...the Tide Pods...

07:36...while she films it...

07:37...for her show.

07:38That's been her MO for years...

07:40...as well as maintaining...

07:41...her eerie resemblance...

07:42...to Mannix.

07:45...but we are different people now.

07:48We've seen this before.

07:49They take a short-term position...

07:50...that guarantees long-term harm...

07:52...then they blame us...

07:53...when it goes bad.

07:55...but we're done.

07:56They follow the same...

07:57...pathetic playbook...

07:58...so many times...

07:59...cleaning...

08:00...their messes...

08:01...is now what we do best.

08:02So they can either...

08:03...grab a mob...

08:04...a mob...

08:05...and help...

08:06...or...

08:07...they can...

08:08...off.

08:09Let's...

08:10...welcome...

08:11...tonight's guests...

08:13...be sure...

08:15...and congratulate him...

08:16...for getting his...

08:17...learner's permit.

08:18Oh, so the guy...

08:19...vention show...

08:20...by Benson!

08:23If laughter's the...

08:25...the best medicine...

08:26...find another comedian...

08:28...comedian Joe Mackey!

08:30...she went from...

08:33...dating pop stars...

08:35...to hoarding gold bars...

08:37...host of the Kennedy Saves...

08:38...the World Podcast...

08:39...Kennedy!

08:40...and...

08:42...he's currently...

08:43...the centerfold...

08:44...for...

08:45...and McNally...

08:46...former NWA...

08:47...world champion...

08:48...and host of the...

08:49...Planet Tyrus...

08:50...you know I was listening...

08:54...to those...

08:55...people talk...

08:56...guy...

08:57...and I kept thinking...

08:58...who are they talking to?

08:59Like...

09:00...would you actually...

09:01...if you have kids...

09:02...and you do have kids...

09:03...say...

09:04...you know what...

09:05...I'm not gonna go buy...

09:05...buy them formula...

09:06...or I'm not gonna go buy...

09:07...breakfast food...

09:08...to make a point?

09:09How...

09:10...how can somebody think...

09:11...that people are actually...

09:12...going to do this?

09:13So they're talking to each other...

09:14...to impress each other...

09:15...to signal that they're good...

09:16...yes...

09:17...that's what this is...

09:18...and I did find it interesting...

09:19...that some of...

09:20...the anti-ice...

09:21...agitation...

09:22...that these celebrities...

09:23...were engaged in...

09:24...with their...

09:25...brave pins...

09:26...that said...

09:27...ice out...

09:28...this happened...

09:29...and I love this...

09:30...and dance...

09:31...film festival...

09:32...in...

09:33...in Tony Park City...

09:34...where they're like...

09:35...in this chalet...

09:36...we believe...

09:37...that illegal immigrant...

09:38...child molesters...

09:39...are our neighbors...

09:40...so...

09:41...America...

09:42...go do a strike...

09:43...but not you...

09:44...Mr. Waiter...

09:45...because my champagne...

09:46...needs topping off...

09:47...right?

09:47Like...

09:48...it's so detached...

09:49...from...

09:50...the reality...

09:51...on Matt out...

09:52...quickly...

09:53...when she said...

09:54...nobody asked for this...

09:55...actually...

09:56...the American people...

09:57...asked...

09:58...for mass deportations...

09:59Mm-hmm...

10:00...the president ran on it...

10:01...and he won...

10:02...now the chaos...

10:03...none of us won...

10:04...except for the people...

10:05...who are encouraging...

10:06...the chaos...

10:07...who are encouraging...

10:08...the chaos...

10:09...and so when she...

10:10...makes that assertion...

10:10...is actually...

10:11...they always freak out...

10:12...about democracy...

10:13...they are spitting...

10:14...in the face...

10:15...of democracy...

10:15...by denying...

10:16...what the last election...

10:17...largely was about...

10:18Mm-hmm...

10:19...the underlying thing...

10:20...is that...

10:21...the only reason...

10:22...why she thinks...

10:23...they're winning...

10:24...is because it got louder...

10:25...after a death...

10:25...so she is like...

10:27...she is...

10:28...egging on...

10:29...they need another death...

10:30...the winning thing...

10:31...is also weird...

10:32...like...

10:33...this is not...

10:34...a game...

10:35...yeah...

10:36...ice has a job to do...

10:37...to enforce the laws...

10:38...that congress pass...

10:39...and the president...

10:40...back then signed...

10:41...they're on the books...

10:42...and they are trying...

10:43...to get out...

10:44...felons...

10:45...no right to be here...

10:46...and now some people...

10:47...are dead...

10:48...and the administration...

10:49...is trying to...

10:50...to negotiate...

10:51...with these Democrats...

10:52...and she's like...

10:53...we're winning...

10:54...I think that's actually...

10:55...a pretty...

10:55...sick thing...

10:56...no it is sick...

10:57...and speaking of sick...

10:58...how you doing there Joe?

11:00...hey Greg...

11:02...how are you?

11:03...I met you...

11:04...when you hear somebody like...

11:05...one of your fellow peers...

11:06...in the entertainment industry...

11:07...like Ed Norton...

11:08...who you've worked with...

11:09...many times in motion...

11:10...in pictures...

11:11...I call him Ed...

11:12...That's good...

11:13...because that is his name...

11:14...it would be weird...

11:15...if you called him Fred...

11:15...that would be...

11:16...but I gotta ask you...

11:17...would you be willing...

11:18...to sacrifice...

11:19...you know...

11:20...to part of your Playboy...

11:21...lifestyle...

11:22...if it meant...

11:23...changing...

11:24...political...

11:25...issue...

11:26...ah...

11:27...you know...

11:28...it really wouldn't work for me...

11:29...because I go months...

11:30...at a time without spending...

11:30...money because...

11:31...so much of my lifestyle...

11:32...is funded by the...

11:33...the women I seduced...

11:34...but...

11:35...I'll see...

11:38...hats off...

11:40...stop laughing...

11:41...hats off to...

11:42...to Ed...

11:43...hats off to Ed Norton...

11:44...because...

11:45...although I don't agree...

11:47...with his...

11:48...views...

11:49...necessarily...

11:50...this is a peaceful protest...

11:52...so...

11:53...they cracked the code...

11:54...finally a peaceful protest...

11:55...they're not...

11:56...invading a church...

11:57...and harassing children there...

11:58...or hitting people...

11:59...with bike locks...

12:00...so...

12:01...more power to them...

12:02...you're allowed to do that...

12:03...in this country...

12:04...but to your point...

12:05...like...

12:06...he's a millionaire actor...

12:07...that has security...

12:08...in a gated mansion...

12:10...why would I listen to...

12:11...that actor's opinion...

12:12...on anything...

12:13...when his lifestyle...

12:14...is so far...

12:15...remove from a...

12:16...lowly...

12:17...destitute...

12:18...Gutfeldrider...

12:19...barely...

12:20...survive...

12:21...mmm...

12:22...that was unnecessary...

12:24...Joe...

12:25...you know it's funny...

12:27...that you brought that up...

12:28...because I was actually...

12:29...scheduling a...

12:30...meeting to talk about...

12:31...a raise that I was gonna have...

12:33...I mean it was scheduled...

12:34...but...

12:35...got other things...

12:36...off the docket...

12:37...Gutfeldrider...

12:38...off the docket...

12:39...got any more jokes?

12:40...I got a couple other things...

12:41...to cross off here...

12:42...oh boy...

12:43...I'm just digging myself...

12:44...a grave here...

12:45...yeah...

12:46...well you know what...

12:47...Kennedy...

12:48...um...

12:49...you know...

12:50...Joe...

12:50...except the whole point...

12:51...that like the guy's living...

12:52...it's always like...

12:53...as long as they have...

12:55...the thing that they have...

12:56...they will tell you to go...

12:57...without something else...

12:58...it was like...

12:59...defund the police...

13:00...was...

13:01...often pushed by people...

13:02...behind gated communities...

13:03...I don't think Scott Galloway...

13:04...who by the way...

13:05...again lives in London...

13:06...is going to suffer...

13:08...also...

13:09...how did...

13:10...does this affect the economy...

13:11...like...

13:12...does it actually affect the GDP...

13:13...like...

13:14...a couple of days...

13:15...not...

13:16...no...

13:17...absolutely not...

13:18...and he's banking on the fact...

13:19...that...

13:20...the people who listen...

13:20...to his dumb podcast...

13:21...are economically illiterate...

13:23...and no one is going...

13:24...to fact check him...

13:25...that's why...

13:26...fartbags like him...

13:27...love doing podcasts...

13:28...because...

13:29...there's no...

13:30...there's no interface...

13:30...there's no interaction...

13:31...with people who actually...

13:32...know more than you do...

13:34...and you know...

13:35...he used to...

13:35...to be...

13:36...a respected guy...

13:37...who...

13:38...appealed to...

13:39...conservative...

13:40...and libertarians...

13:41...and now it's like...

13:42...what have you become?

13:43Yeah...

13:44...you know...

13:45...it's like...

13:45...when people talk about...

13:46...Trump derangement syndrome...

13:47...it's not just a pejorative...

13:49...it really is...

13:50...is something that...

13:51...consumes...

13:52...once rational people...

13:53...people...

13:54...who used to be able...

13:55...to look at both sides...

13:56...of an issue...

13:57...and think about it critically...

13:58...and then you know...

13:59...fall on the side of...

14:00...with...

14:00...what they thought to be the truth...

14:01...and it's like...

14:02...hear the truth be damned...

14:03...the only truth is...

14:04...Edward...

14:05...Norton should fire...

14:06...his plastic surgeon...

14:07...and never go back...

14:08...because...

14:09...that eye job is...

14:10...is...

14:11...one of the worst...

14:12...I've seen in Hollywood...

14:13...and there have been...

14:14...quite a few recently...

14:15...the three of them...

14:16...sitting on the sofa...

14:17...it was this...

14:18...I mean...

14:19...but the other two...

14:20...are like...

14:21...oh god...

14:22...stop talking...

14:20...because they can...

14:21...they can hear...

14:22...the movie receipts...

14:23...declining...

14:24...yeah...

14:25...you know...

14:26...they can feel...

14:27...people's interest...

14:28...like...

14:29...physically waning...

14:30...and they're like...

14:31...oh god...

14:30...you know...

14:31...it's like...

14:32...I need this...

14:33...for my remodel...

14:34...stop talking...

14:35...Edward...

14:36...you're only making it work...

14:35...and he's like...

14:36...not worse than these...

14:37...huh...

14:38...you know...

14:39...Tyrus...

14:40...my problem with this...

14:40...story is...

14:41...I can't take it...

14:42...seriously...

14:43...if you...

14:44...up...

14:45...with open borders...

14:46...everything that happens after...

14:47...I will...

14:48...it just doesn't...

14:49...like...

14:50...when they talk...

14:50...about these...

14:51...the people getting hurt...

14:52...it doesn't resonate with me...

14:53...because...

14:54...you guys had...

14:55...the opportunity...

14:56...and you blew it...

14:57...and now you're complaining...

14:58...when we clean up your mess...

14:59...I believe...

15:00...the word...

15:01...you're looking for...

15:02...Greg...

15:03...is root causes...

15:04...that's one of their...

15:05...favorite words...

15:05...root causes...

15:06...lo and behold...

15:07...Greg...

15:08...in his little wisdom...

15:10...discovered...

15:11...what the root cause was...

15:13...of all the violence...

15:14...and...

15:15...what's going on...

15:15...yes...

15:16...you opened the...

15:17...order...

15:18...which caused...

15:19...other countries to...

15:20...you dumped...

15:21...their best...

15:22...and brightest...

15:23...yeah...

15:24...because...

15:25...that's what I do...

15:27...I got my...

15:28...six kids...

15:29...

15:30...and when the border...

15:31...opened up...

15:32...I took the four...

15:33...smart ones...

15:34...and like...

15:35...you get the...

15:36...out...

15:35...I'm gonna stay here...

15:36...with the two...

15:37...special ones...

15:38...like...

15:39...so...

15:40...but here's the thing...

15:41...don't feel bad Greg...

15:42...because Ed don't believe it either...

15:43...yes...

15:44...you know how I know...

15:45...because he couldn't...

15:47...talk about it...

15:48...this is a man who gets...

15:49...paid to speak...

15:50...and play a character...

15:52...lie...

15:53...and he said...

15:55...what it is...

15:57...well...

15:58...it is...

15:59...it...

16:00...what had happened...

16:01...that's right...

16:02...he was...

16:03...what are we...

16:04...talking about?

16:05...he was...

16:05...he was created like...

16:06...primal fear...

16:07...do you remember...

16:08...primal fear...

16:09...where he plays like...

16:10...a mentally deranged guy...

16:10...he couldn't play...

16:11...he couldn't play...

16:12...a passionate liberal...

16:13...yes...

16:14...if I was the director...

16:15...cut...

16:16...your name's Norton...

16:17...right?

16:18...I need some tears...

16:19...do you remember the...

16:20...online?

16:21...like...

16:22...we...

16:23...our words don't even count...

16:24...they don't even have to make sense...

16:25...stop doing the...

16:26...give me something...

16:28...some emotion...

16:29...but he was given...

16:30...such a pass...

16:31...in the 90s...

16:32...for mediocre acting...

16:33...because she wanted...

16:34...you...

16:35...I didn't think he was good...

16:36...and he was...

16:37...he fucked up the Hulk...

16:38...and all you gotta do...

16:39...he was...

16:40...he was fine...

16:41...in Primal Fear...

16:42...he was...

16:43...he was fine in that movie...

16:44...but he tried to...

16:45...get rock and roll credibility...

16:46...by banging...

16:47...Courtney Love...

16:48...for a while...

16:49...same here...

16:50...I think you just got...

16:53...some critters...

16:55...he went through a weird phase...

16:57...he was really into...

16:58...tall chicks for a while...

16:59...yes I did...

17:00...carry a tiny comb...

17:01...wherever I went...

17:02...

17:05...don't ask guy...

17:06...don't do it...

17:07...don't ask...

17:08...it's not for your beard...

17:09...guy...

17:10...trust...

17:10...unless...

17:11...well that beard's bent places...

17:12...who knows...

17:13...up next...

17:14...Wimpy Waltz acts tough...

17:15...with age...

17:17...occasional nerve discomfort...

17:18...like stabbing...

17:19...prime...

17:20...a story...

17:21...in five words...

17:25...Waltz...

17:27...still a giant turd...

17:29...you gotta look back...

17:30...about being on the debate stage...

17:31...with him and thinking...

17:32...man you really...

17:33...maybe gave this person...

17:34...a little too much...

17:35...of the benefit of the doubt...

17:35...and we're...

17:36...we're a little bit...

17:37...you know...

17:38...the part...

17:39...the...

17:40...of faith...

17:41...was maybe a mistake...

17:42...with J.D. Vance...

17:43...look I'll own it...

17:44...but Tim you've been around...

17:45...this long enough...

17:45...you want a ticket...

17:46...you take your orders...

17:47...look I have agency on that...

17:48...meaning I could've...

17:49...in this...

17:50...but I am a good...

17:51...team player...

17:52...out of him now...

17:53...if I could...

17:54...and I would call that out...

17:55...it's just different...

17:56...in verbally...

17:57...going at it...

17:58...I could...

17:59...my argument...

18:00...is much better...

18:00...Joe...

18:01...Joe...

18:02...Joe this must hit you hard...

18:04...because you know...

18:05...you work...

18:05...you work out a lot...

18:06...you're in great shape...

18:07...you hear somebody...

18:08...talk trash like that...

18:09...it's like...

18:10...who is he trying to kid?

18:12A total weak sauce...

18:13...Greg...

18:14...I can see right through it...

18:15...someone's not tough...

18:16...and I'll say this...

18:18...he kind of stole my...

18:20...pre-fight strategy...

18:21...because...

18:22...he said he would kick...

18:23...JG Vance's ass...

18:24...if I could...

18:25...which means...

18:26...he was like...

18:27...also acting weak...

18:28...in the fight scenario...

18:30...that's what I do all the time...

18:31...I always act weak...

18:32...in a potential fight...

18:33...that way...

18:34...maybe...

18:35...they won't try as hard...

18:36...one of the things I do...

18:37...is I say...

18:38...alright...

18:39...let's fight...

18:40...but could you try to avoid...

18:40...my left side...

18:41...because...

18:42...it doesn't work very well...

18:43...since I've had the stroke...

18:44...right?

18:45...and then once the fight starts...

18:46...won't he be surprised...

18:47...when I...

18:48...grab his balls...

18:49...with my left hand...

18:50...that is perfect...

18:52...and what...

18:53...what happened to Kilmeade?

18:54...

18:55...he...

18:57...he...

18:58...he...

18:59...he's surprisingly...

19:00...a cagey and wiren

19:00He's a nimble, nimble little man, Kennedy.

19:03What is it with Democrats?

19:05Threatening to kick everybody's ass.

19:06Remember, it was Joe Biden.

19:07Joe Biden's like, well, I'd kick him behind the wood shit.

19:10Like, well, we have electricity now.

19:13We don't have as many.

19:15Wood-burning stoves to heat our homes as we used to.

19:18Amdrak drove, but thanks.

19:20Thanks for them fighting words.

19:21Woo.

19:22Yeah, Tim Walz is so...

19:25Full of tepid s**t because during, I will never forget.

19:30That debate because I use that debate as like a text.

19:35Book metaphor for how I want my single friend's future.

19:40Future partners to look at them.

19:41The way he looked into J.D. Vance's eyes, he was...

19:45He was so romantically transfixed and he was so deeply enamored.

19:50And it's like, I hope to God for my female friends, they find a guy who loves them.

19:55The way Tim Walz is in love with J.D. Vance and still is because, you know, he has...

20:00He has these martial arts, like, jujitsu fantasies about the two of them rolling around.

20:05So this is basically the kind of like the politician example of pulling on the...

20:10The pigtails.

20:11He's pulling on J.D. Vance's pigtails.

20:13He's looking into those deep blue...

20:15And he lost himself in a romantic Caribbean and he'll never be able to come back.

20:20He's starting to feel bad for him, Tyrus.

20:24Did you get the...

20:25Did you get the impression that Walz realizes it doesn't matter what he says anymore that he's done?

20:29I get the...

20:30I get a lot of impressions when it comes to Walz.

20:32He also doesn't give a f*** how he dresses.

20:34This dude has...

20:35He's got two collars on.

20:38Like...

20:39I did that.

20:40Sometimes.

20:41Really?

20:42And you put one up to look tough?

20:43Yeah, that's not good for his look.

20:44No.

20:45Do you know that him and I...

20:45The same age?

20:46Well, he is the most shot out 70-year-old I've ever seen.

20:51I am not 70.

20:53You know, I just...

20:54Hindsight's...

20:5520-20.

20:56But this guy, he's still blind.

20:57Yeah.

20:58I would've.

20:59I could've.

21:00I should've.

21:01But you didn't.

21:02So why are you talking about it?

21:04Like, this is the...

21:05If I could, now he can't get on the same stage as JD.

21:08Yeah.

21:09Well, it would be...

21:10It would be a step down for him.

21:11Mm-hmm.

21:12You need to be focused on what's going on with your Somalia daycare.

21:15And you're fraud, bro.

21:16How about you kick that ass for a little while since you got...

21:18He can't even share an...

21:19He can't even...

21:20He can't even share an elevator with JD Vance.

21:22I mean, he's like...

21:23No.

21:24He's like no longer even relevant.

21:25...into the political sphere, much less the elevator-using sphere.

21:29But being positive, they...

21:30And I will give him credit for that debate because they both were respectful to each

21:35other.

21:35Yeah.

21:36And that's not a bad thing.

21:37And that's what he's trying to like...

21:38They're like...

21:39And of course, I...

21:40When...

21:40When you see that and then...

21:41Oh, I was forced to do that.

21:43It just...

21:44You only further...

21:45Let us know how we've been unburdened by what has been.

21:48He's just...

21:49You know...

21:50He's just one of those guys...

21:51He doesn't get it, Greg.

21:52It's like your old saying.

21:53It's...

21:54Way better to reach up than reach...

21:55Ah.

21:56Yes.

21:57My priest told me that in second grade...

22:00Guy, you know, a lot of people don't realize you are a stone-cold killer.

22:04But you know...

22:05You never act that way because you're very calm.

22:08But you're an intensely violent man.

22:10You would snap a neck as soon as you could kiss a child.

22:14I've seen it.

22:15No sense.

22:16But my point is...

22:17Why is it that men who are helpless and weak become...

22:20More violent in their rhetoric?

22:22Well, because they can't...

22:24Cash...

22:25The actual checks.

22:26Right?

22:27And so...

22:28He says, well...

22:29I would kick the...

22:30Bleep out of him now if I could.

22:32I'm saying bleep because I think we've run out of them on this show so far.

22:34Yes.

22:35Good for you.

22:36And the answer is...

22:37You couldn't when you had the chance, rhetorically on stage...

22:40And you also can't physically.

22:42We can see that.

22:43I also would imagine...

22:45If there were to be this fight that he's talking about...

22:48Tim Wall strikes me as the type of person...

22:50Who would fight...

22:51By removing one of his gloves and slapping someone across the face.

22:55It's Tim Walls kicking the beep out of someone.

22:58And it's a pathetic...

23:00Sad person.

23:01Also...

23:02He goes out there and he says...

23:04Trump...

23:05Trump's ICE is the Gestapo.

23:06Although he called it gazpacho because he's an idiot.

23:08Yeah.

23:09But he tried to call...

23:10The Gestapo.

23:11And then...

23:12He just a few days ago said...

23:14We have to bring...

23:15Down the temperature.

23:16Then he goes on a podcast and talks about...

23:18Physically attacking the vice president.

23:20It's just incoherent.

23:21Yeah.

23:22You know, I think his strategy...

23:23And it's a good one because I've used it before.

23:25He'll wrestle you and then he'll hope that when he gets aroused...

23:28You'll back off.

23:31That actually works, Greg.

23:32Yes, it does.

23:33No.

23:34No, I've experienced it.

23:35No, no, no.

23:36When I was wrestling, there was this little guy named Spud, right?

23:38And I was teasing him.

23:39And I'm teasing him.

23:40All the time, right?

23:41One day he got mad and he's like...

23:42The hell with this.

23:43I don't care how big you are.

23:44I'm gonna kick your ass.

23:45And I was like...

23:45What?

23:46I stood up and he was around your height.

23:47Actually, he was a little taller, but he was still small.

23:49And...

23:50He starts taking his shirt off and taking his pants off.

23:53And I was like, what the hell are you doing?

23:54He's like, this is how...

23:55I fight.

23:56And I was like, you win.

23:59Yes.

24:01It's called the Gutfeld method.

24:02It works every time.

24:03The effective strategy.

24:04Works every time.

24:05All right, come...

24:05Coming up, your car is not a trash can.

24:10Is this wrong?

24:13Is this wrong?

24:15No.

24:20No more trashy cars.

24:21Kennedy, this is amazing.

24:23There's a new law in Hillary.

24:25Hilton head.

24:26Yes, in somebody's head.

24:27South Carolina makes it illegal to let trash...

24:30Build up in your car because it can attract rats and violators could face up.

24:35To a fine of $500 or 30 days in jail or...

24:40Both.

24:41Do you know people with messy cars?

24:43I used to have a really messy...

24:45Filthy car.

24:46Really?

24:47Filthy.

24:48When I was 19 years old.

24:49And then I realized it was unattractive.

24:50And uncouth.

24:51And if I kept on that path, I would become a hoarder.

24:54And that's who I feel...

24:55What are you badly for in this story?

24:56It's like the hoarders.

24:57But if you are living in your...

25:00In your car, this is kind of great news.

25:02Because your car is filled with trash.

25:05You don't have a house.

25:06And then the police pull you over and a very like...

25:10Oddly named town for those of us who grew up adoring Paris Hilton.

25:13Mm-hmm.

25:14And that's...

25:15That's hot.

25:16So if you're living in a messy car and the cops pull you over...

25:20You get to go to jail for 30 days.

25:22Three hots and a cot.

25:23And...

25:24They clean your car out.

25:25Yeah.

25:26It's a win-win.

25:27Exactly right.

25:28Yes.

25:29As my stuttering friend used to say...

25:30Tyrus.

25:31Yeah.

25:32I guess the town is fighting a growing rat problem.

25:35Yeah.

25:36But, you know, again, Gutfeld, like you previously, root causes...

25:40You're getting good at this.

25:41Mm-hmm.

25:42Uh...

25:43The problem isn't messy cars.

25:44It's your...

25:45The city's full of rats.

25:46Yeah.

25:47So the houses are overwhelmed.

25:48The neighborhoods to the point where the rats are now needing...

25:50Automobiles to get to where they need to go.

25:51Mm-hmm.

25:52That's more of a problem.

25:53It's...

25:54You know?

25:55So maybe you get five or six cars, load them up with trash, and drive...

26:00Slow, and all the rats follow, and you drive them over to your rival's city...

26:05Mm-hmm.

26:06...and leave their asses there.

26:07Pipe or that?

26:08How do rats get in cars?

26:10I think this is an attack on people who live in cars.

26:13Like you.

26:14Guy.

26:15Do you have a car?

26:16I do.

26:17Oh, you do.

26:18Do you drive?

26:19I do.

26:20I drive myself.

26:21I know it's weird for you, but I drive myself.

26:22That must be exciting for you.

26:23Are you allowed to drive alone now?

26:25Well, you're over 16.

26:26I'm over 16, yeah.

26:27Yeah.

26:28But the full license is until 17.

26:29Yes, yes.

26:30Okay.

26:30Counting down the days.

26:31Yeah.

26:32This is a weird law to me.

26:33I think a very messy car is a red flag.

26:35And a potential relationship, but it's not a crime.

26:38Mm-hmm.

26:39I also wonder who...

26:40Who gets to decide what counts as a violation of this versus just acceptable messages?

26:45Is that a judgment call by the cop?

26:47That's weird to me.

26:48So, I agree with...

26:50Tyrus, I think that you want to keep the rats on their toes.

26:53Yep.

26:54So, if you're going to have something that's going to...

26:55To attract rats, you don't want it in a stationary house.

26:57You actually prefer it in a car, because then you can...

27:00Lead them around by the nose elsewhere and draw them away from the houses.

27:04You know, you said something...

27:05That struck me.

27:06You said that it's a red flag in relationships.

27:08So, when you go out on a date...

27:10You will see the car and it tells you something.

27:13Like, if somebody has a...

27:15Messy car, what does it tell you?

27:17Like, a really messy car suggests it's sort of a disorder...

27:20So, then, in this era of, let's say, Gen Zs, everything's...

27:25It's an Uber.

27:26So, it's a fresh smelling Uber with complimentary mints.

27:29I always love an Uber driver.

27:30I always love an Uber driver who goes the extra mile, so to speak, with, like, stuff, nice things.

27:33You may never know that the person's...

27:35Freak, because they don't pick you up in a car.

27:37Oh, you have a chauffeur.

27:39You don't do Uber.

27:40Not anymore.

27:41Not anymore.

27:42He looked at me.

27:43I let him go.

27:45That's in your contract, no eye contact?

27:46No eye contact.

27:47You know that.

27:48Yeah.

27:50So, what about you, Joe?

27:51You own a number of cars, don't you?

27:53Well, all luxury cars, Greg.

27:55I will say this.

27:56If a rat gets in your car, the...

28:00Cash in your car isn't your car's biggest problem.

28:02It's the rat-sized hole that you should be working on.

28:05I'm worried about, but look.

28:06I have a lot of cheeseburger wrappers in my car right now.

28:10I use it to deter vegan car thieves and...

28:15Every...

28:16You're damn right.

28:19Every now and then...

28:20I keep a cured ham in there in case I get hungry because it's already cooked.

28:24You can just...

28:25You just...

28:26You're dropping gold bars here, man.

28:27Yeah!

28:29So, I did...

28:30Cross Hilton head off the list.

28:31I'm not going there.

28:32Yeah.

28:33You know what you should do?

28:34Because you do commit a lot of...

28:35You should have weird crimes.

28:36You should have trash that belongs to other people in your car.

28:39That way, if they have to do any DNA...

28:40Testing, you'd throw them off the track.

28:42That's a brilliant idea if I committed those crimes, Greg.

28:45We all know.

28:46All right.

28:47Up next, Star Trek's Woke Trash.

28:50Let's continue.

28:53When does I have more words?

28:55Woke Trash.

28:57Woke Trash.

28:58Woke Trash.

28:59Woke Trash.

29:00Woke Trash.

29:01You were here when we talked about this.

29:03It was the latest Woke Star Trek series.

29:05Starfleet Academy accused of being woke, but now one of the actresses says the backlash...

29:10...is only encouraging them to make the show super woke, calling critics fragile.

29:15...angry white men.

29:18Do you think this will help with their abysmal...

29:20...raining?

29:21Yeah.

29:22Yeah.

29:23Oh, yeah.

29:24Insult a group of people who watch you...

29:26Yeah, that'd make me tune in more.

29:28Yes.

29:29Does she say anything bad about...

29:30...extremely large, light-skinned men?

29:31Did she have a problem with them, too?

29:32Yeah.

29:33No, she didn't.

29:34But she is a...

29:35...based lesbian.

29:36Well, there you go.

29:37Look, I'm just gonna say it.

29:40Star Trek, it's over.

29:41Yeah, it is over.

29:42It's over.

29:43Everyone's moved on.

29:44Captain Kirk's making Raisin Bran...

29:45...commercials.

29:46Like, everybody's...

29:47Picard's, he's got Marvel.

29:49Like, it's over.

29:50Like, woke, doesn't matter.

29:53They always push back because you have a poor...

29:55...product.

29:56People watch something, they don't like it.

29:57If woke was cool, they wouldn't care.

29:59But when you...

30:00You insult...

30:01You're already in fantasy world as it is.

30:03Yeah.

30:04You're on a giant ship that...

30:05...supposedly holds a thousand people, but you're always in the same one room every episode.

30:09Like, I think we...

30:10We've all moved...

30:11Right?

30:12Am I the only one?

30:13It's true.

30:14It's like...

30:15No one's ever really pointed that out before.

30:17Yeah, it's over.

30:18It's like they're in one...

30:20You're in a living room in space.

30:21Like, it's over.

30:22You know, Joe...

30:25The actress, Gina Yashir, she describes her character as a space...

30:30...lesbian.

30:31And you really are a space lesbian at heart.

30:34It's already hard, Greg.

30:35That's really funny.

30:38I like how you looked at the audience.

30:41For support.

30:42And they offered none.

30:43I like the qualifier space lesbian as...

30:45...if it matters where you're at.

30:46If you're attracted to women.

30:47Yes!

30:48I'm a heterosexual on Earth.

30:50But in space, I'm a lesbian.

30:52But here's...

30:53Here's the problem.

30:54As someone who's like a...

30:55...mild Trekkie, here's the problem.

30:57I know people who have Klingon English dictionaries.

31:00They study and learn Klingon.

31:02That's how dedicated they are to...

31:05...into this franchise.

31:06And then they come in and Woke is not really part of the story.

31:10It's shoehorned in like it almost always is in a very clumsily way.

31:14And then they do stuff...

31:15...not to destroy the canon of the universe.

31:17For instance, there's a character of...

31:20...a race that's all male.

31:22They don't reproduce.

31:23And they're soldiers.

31:24What do they do?

31:25They made a female one.

31:26And now, who's going to be upset by that?

31:29All male Star Trek.

31:30All male Star Trek fans that also don't reproduce.

31:32That's true.

31:33They have been marginalized.

31:35Joe, did you say you're a light Trekkie?

31:37Because that was very specific.

31:39He's a...

31:40No, he said he's a mild Trekkie.

31:41Mild Trekkie.

31:42I'm not sure.

31:43That's like having like a mild disorder.

31:45You know, I kind of got off the train after Next Generation because I thought like...

31:50...the stars said that the stories weren't as good.

31:52See, I don't know what that means because I've never watched this show.

31:55Which is where I'm going to lean into Kat Temp's role on the program, which is to just...

32:00...dismiss a space-related series as...

32:05...slop for nerds, and then just get lots of nasty comments on my Twitter feed for like...

32:10...a week.

32:11Yeah, and you will.

32:12You will.

32:13But you know what's interesting?

32:14And I'll pose this to you, Kennedy.

32:15No!

32:15Because you...

32:16You are...

32:17He doesn't care.

32:18But...

32:19I think I'm the only one here...

32:20...in this room who's been on an episode of Star Trek.

32:23Yes, you have!

32:26Back when we liked Star Trek.

32:28Exactly right.

32:29What year was that?

32:301997, Greg.

32:31Oh, wow!

32:32Were you on with Angela Lanz...

32:35...Roseberry?

32:36No!

32:37And Peter Falk?

32:38Captain Drainway.

32:39I've been watching...

32:40...a lot of Columbo, man.

32:41I'll tell ya.

32:42You know what the thing is, though?

32:43Uh...

32:44It's the same thing, but with...

32:45Space boners.

32:46Space boners.

32:47Um...

32:48The problem with wokeism...

32:50...is you can't have good writing.

32:53If you're writing something, but...

32:55...then you have to get a message shoehorned into it.

32:58It...

32:59As Joe says, you can't...

33:00...actually have decent writing if it's...

33:03...message first and quality second.

33:05No!

33:06It's like a Stephen Colbert monologue.

33:08Mm-hmm.

33:09You know, it's a one-way street...

33:10...it's a lecture.

33:11It's boring.

33:12It's stupid.

33:13It's predictable because...

33:15...you know where it's going to go.

33:17You know what the end result of all of this is.

33:20Mm-hmm.

33:21And it's so...

33:22I mean, it's almost nonsensical where, you know, the joy of Star Trek...

33:25...before was...

33:26...they were pushing boundaries.

33:27Like, where were they going to take people?

33:29They had...

33:30...people on TV who didn't look like anyone else who had been on TV.

33:34And then William Shatner was...

33:35...he was a whorndog.

33:36So Stephen Miller, who is one of the president's less popular advisors...

33:40...this week, he's a huge Trekkie.

33:41Mm-hmm.

33:42...and he was like, this is such an outrage, they should give it to William...

33:45...Shatner, and let him be the executive producer and the decider of all the content...

33:50...because it feels like they've given everything to George Takei.

33:52Yeah, it's true.

33:53You know what...

33:54...

33:55We're talking about...

33:56That's a two-er.

33:57Yeah.

33:58That's a two-er joker right there.

33:59We're talking about root causes.

34:00Do you know what the root...

34:00...cause of all of this was?

34:02Something called a very special episode.

34:05Do you remember that?

34:06Mm-hmm.

34:07And, you know, you'd have a series, and then they'd go...

34:10...tonight on a very...

34:11Yeah, Maude gets an abortion.

34:12Yeah, exactly.

34:13A very special episode of...

34:15...Mod.

34:16Mr. Ed Goes to Vote.

34:17I remember that one.

34:18Yes, yes, yes.

34:19It was a whole episode...

34:20...on how it's so good to buy war bonds.

34:24Mr. Ed gives...

34:25...is Maude an abortion...

34:27...when two shows collide.

34:28Yes.

34:29Well...

34:30...a very special episode.

34:31Up next, no more boozing with co-workers.

34:34Okay.

34:35You're young.

34:36You don't just get handed trust.

34:38You don't just get handed trust.

34:41You have to own it.

34:42By hand.

34:45No, how can I find you?

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35:44what we're talking about.

35:45But it's according to the Wall Street Journal, which is a paper owned by our parent company.

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35:52Happy Hour is becoming a thing of the...

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Greg Gutfeld Show 12826 FULL END SHOW ᖴO᙭ ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS January 28, 2026

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