- 2 days ago
In Season 9, Episode 4, Top Gear pushes boundaries and creativity. Richard Hammond and James May take on an ambitious engineering challenge: turning a 1992 Reliant Robin into a functioning space shuttle (with help from the British Amateur Rocket Society), while Jeremy Clarkson drives the monstrous Brabus-modified SL65 AMG, boasting 730 bhp. Add in a test of the new Porsche 911 Turbo, Simon Pegg doing a lap in the Reasonably Priced Car, and you’ve got an episode packed with absurd challenges, super-power performance, and unforgettable Top Gear flair.
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Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
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MotorTranscript
00:00MUSIC
00:11Tonight, one small stumble for man as we build a space shuttle.
00:16I drive a nuclear bomb disguised as a Mercedes.
00:20And Simon Pegg makes a hot fuzz in our reasonably priced car.
00:25Help!
00:30CHEERING
00:35You're wrong. You're wrong.
00:38Hello and welcome to an argument.
00:42You see, you see, there are two types.
00:45Two types of petrol heads.
00:47You've got idiots like this who like the Porsche 911,
00:50and you've got people like me who'd rather have anthrax than a 911,
00:53cos I'm a Ferrari person.
00:55Yes, but when you actually owned a Ferrari,
00:57you couldn't leave it parked on the street,
00:59you couldn't go out for dinner in it or anything,
01:00cos you spent the whole meal worrying about who was bumping into it
01:02or carving their name into its precious paper.
01:04That's true.
01:05I once left the roof off and it was so full of phlegm when I got back
01:07you could have swum home, but...
01:08Exactly.
01:09And therefore, as a result of that,
01:11it spent its entire life cowering at home in your garage,
01:14and when you were eventually brave enough to want to use it,
01:16by that time the battery was flat.
01:17It was hopeless.
01:18Yes, I know, but a Ferrari with a flat battery is an aesthetic thing.
01:22You can enjoy looking at it.
01:24That's the...
01:25Yes, but it's not moving.
01:26That's why I love the 911,
01:27because you can use it every day to go to places.
01:29It's a car.
01:31And now there's a new turbo version,
01:33which we asked him to drive in the hope he'd see the light.
01:46This is the biggest 911 turbo they've ever made,
01:49but it's still no longer than a Toyota Prius,
01:52no wider than a 3 Series BMW.
01:59And unlike a normal supercar,
02:01it doesn't have Marilyn Monroe hips,
02:04so it doesn't get stuck in multi-storey car parks.
02:11What's more,
02:12it's not like threading through traffic in a post box.
02:15In a Ferrari,
02:16you can't really see where the buses are,
02:18so you can't carve them up,
02:19but in this, you can.
02:23In a Ferrari,
02:24you'd be forever worried about
02:25graunching the nose on a speed hump.
02:28But not in the 911.
02:31And it doesn't even harm the sky very much, either.
02:34It may have a flat-six twin-turbo engine,
02:38but it only produces 300 carbon dioxide.
02:42That's 100 less than you get from the back of a Ferrari 430.
02:48And if you drive this car through a really polluted city,
02:51Los Angeles,
02:52Calcutta, Harrogate, something like that,
02:54the gas coming out of the exhaust pipes
02:56is less toxic than the air going into the engine.
03:01And I'm not joking, that's true.
03:07This, then, is like a small, efficient, easy-to-use vacuum cleaner.
03:11They should have called it the Porsche Dyson.
03:16And it'll suck up your luggage, too,
03:17because, unlike any other supercar,
03:19its boot is easily big enough for your weekly shop.
03:22There is the peach and peacock,
03:25the cornerstone of any Porsche driver's Sunday lunch.
03:28And there's still room left over for the ice cream
03:31made from the bones of your defeated squash opponent.
03:35And you can use this car on the school run,
03:37because it has back seats.
03:39I mean, obviously, you'd have to have fairly thin children,
03:43but then you would have,
03:46because you've got a Porsche 911,
03:48so you'd have a thin wife.
03:52I will concede, then,
03:53that there's no everyday situation
03:55that flummoxes a 911 Turbo.
04:01And so, because you can use it every day,
04:03its battery won't be flat when the moment is right.
04:06And you fancy a drive.
04:17The new 911 Turbo has special variable-vane turbochargers
04:21that always work, whatever the revs.
04:25You can even buy a special over-boost facility,
04:28which, for brief moments, can deliver 500 torques.
04:31That gives it a very muscly feel.
04:37And it's got a special new four-wheel drive system
04:40that doesn't allow any form of under or oversteer.
04:44You just get so much grip that your eyes start to hurt.
04:54Like being in a capsule of speed.
04:57So, when the sun goes down,
05:02you can really get cracking.
05:05OK, let's engage the stability management program
05:09and put it in sport mode.
05:14Let's change things a bit.
05:18Now, every time I turn the steering wheel,
05:21it feels like I'm drawing a line through the laws of physics.
05:25This is not driving. This is pure mass.
05:29So, how does it compare to my beloved Ferrari?
05:33Well, it has a smaller engine,
05:34but because of the scramjet turbochargers,
05:36it produces 480 brake horsepower,
05:38exactly what you get from the 430.
05:39But then this is lighter than the Ferrari,
05:40thanks to aluminium doors, which weigh just 11 kilograms each.
05:42It's also 20,000 pounds less expensive.
05:46Sure, it isn't as exciting as the Ferrari,
05:47it's more about engineering than passion,
05:48but I will admit the end results are astonishing.
05:49But I will admit the end results are astonishing.
05:52Let me give you some performance figures.
05:550-60, 3.9 seconds.
05:56Let me give you some performance figures.
05:570-60, 3.9 seconds.
05:59Top speed?
06:13are astonishing.
06:19Let me give you some performance figures.
06:210 to 60, 3.9 seconds.
06:24Top speed, near as makes no difference.
06:27200 miles an hour.
06:31But this is my favourite, okay?
06:3340 to 60 in second gear.
06:37One second!
06:40One!
06:43It's amazing because it's not just more usable than a Ferrari,
06:51more practical, but I think out here in the real world
06:55with crests and dips and bumps and blind brows,
06:59I think it's faster as well.
07:05I really do.
07:07There you see.
07:19Ladies, ladies and gentlemen.
07:21We must all rejoice because Clarkson has finally caught the bug.
07:27No, I haven't. I still prefer the Ferrari.
07:29Well, hang on, you've just spent the last six minutes then
07:31wasting our time telling us that that's faster, more powerful, lighter,
07:35and more practical.
07:37Yeah, and cheaper.
07:39The thing is, no, I'm sorry, that's like sitting in a Volkswagen Beetle
07:42with mustard up its bottom.
07:45Well, it's better than sitting there in a car that won't start
07:47but just looks a bit pretty.
07:49Look, can we just...
07:50Can I say, this argument's been going on for 40 years,
07:52it will go on for another 40 years, the correct place is in the pub,
07:55so we will do the news.
07:56No, because I've just thought of something else, okay?
08:00It's really simple.
08:01It's all to do with, I have passion for the Ferrari,
08:03I respect that, but I have...
08:05It's like David Attenborough.
08:06I respect David Attenborough.
08:08I mean, just infinite respect, in the same way as I respect that car,
08:11but I have no passion for him and don't want to make love to him.
08:14Yeah, but...
08:15But I have respect and passion for the 911.
08:19There you are.
08:20You've just admitted on television you want to make love to David Attenborough.
08:24He's just said that.
08:26Your logic, sometimes, mate, is the most warped thing...
08:29I don't...
08:30Shut up.
08:32Okay?
08:33This'll do the news.
08:34Right.
08:35And now, the news.
08:36And we begin this week...
08:38Oh, bloody hell.
08:41With...
08:43With...
08:45With...
08:47With the Porsche 911.
08:49More specifically, the Porsche 911 GT3 RS.
08:54Oh, now that is the business.
08:55It's faster, it's lighter, it's tauter.
08:57It's possibly the ultimate 911.
08:59In the same way that Ebola is the ultimate tropical disease.
09:02And what's all that scaffolding in the show?
09:04Well, it's a roll cage for when you take...
09:06No, I'm sorry.
09:07If I see scaffolding round a building, well, they haven't finished that yet.
09:09I'm sorry, I haven't finished.
09:10No, it's a roll cage.
09:12Look, I will admit, there's perhaps the only...
09:14The only problem with this otherwise brilliant car is that it's not the most practical.
09:18If you want to pop down to the newspaper shop, you've got to clamber in over the roll cage,
09:22lower yourself into the bucket seat, do up the six-point race harness, prime the fire extinguisher system.
09:27It's going to take time.
09:28So in the real world, my 1.2-litre Fiat Panda is faster to the shops.
09:33No, mate, it's just not.
09:34No, it is.
09:35I only have to put the seatbelt on once.
09:37You've got to do it six times.
09:38OK, I've got to do that and then wait whilst you put your seatbelt on and then do all your pre-flight checks and make sure the air vents warm.
09:43Can I just move this along?
09:47Do you mind?
09:48Is that alright?
09:49Because I've got something that's really bugging me.
09:50Has anyone seen these average speed cameras that are kicking around now?
09:52You know what I mean?
09:53So you've got to do...
09:54I was finally on the M25 the other day through the roadworks,
09:56I had to do an average of 40 miles an hour measured by two cameras,
09:59not the beginning one at the end.
10:00That's impossible.
10:01It's impossible because you drive along and you're still looking around and think,
10:04Oh God, I'm doing 42 because I'm going downhill.
10:06You think, Oh God, I've been doing that for half a mile,
10:08so now I need to do half a mile at 38.
10:10Which means you can only look at the speedometer.
10:13You can't look at anything else, only the speedometer.
10:15You're going through roadworks on the M25 in the rain at rush hour.
10:18And I know what they're doing here, it's the government.
10:20Gordon Brown has worked out that he's got to pay all our pensions because we're all going to live forever.
10:25They're trying to kill us off.
10:27But I know how to get round it, OK?
10:29You go past the first camera, pull over, get the newspaper out, read it,
10:32listen to the radio for ten minutes, do 120 for the rest of the way then.
10:35That's not quite right, actually,
10:37because I can prove that the way to keep traffic moving through the roadworks,
10:41which is where those average speed cameras are,
10:43Yeah.
10:44is for everybody to go faster from the start.
10:46Yeah.
10:47It's all down to the work of the Swiss physicist Daniel Bernoulli.
10:50You're familiar with him?
10:51Oh, him.
10:52Thought so.
10:53He isn't.
10:54He is.
10:55He's never heard of him.
10:56The shift was that in a system, the pressure and the volume multiplied together must be a constant.
11:00So if you've got a busy motorway and it gets thinner and there's less space for the cars to go through,
11:04they must go faster for the flow rate of cars to remain the same.
11:07So it's like when you put your thumb over the end of a hosepipe, the water comes out quicker.
11:10That's exactly what it's like, yeah.
11:11So how fast then, if you take three-lane motorway down to one lane,
11:14how fast does the traffic have to move in order to keep the flow rate the same?
11:18Well, the formula would be VN would be LO over LR times the VE.
11:24So how fast?
11:25Which is 210.
11:26210 miles an hour.
11:27Oh, yeah.
11:28Fair enough.
11:29All going by Bugattis and Zonders to cure congestion.
11:33Now, of course, the big news this week, that's been occupying all the bulletins,
11:36is that 1.5, I think, 1.5 million people have signed this petition
11:40protesting about the plans to implement road charging, you know, pay-as-you-go stuff.
11:45Now, if you want to add your name to that petition, here is the address,
11:49Http colon double forward slash petitions dot pm dot gov dot uk forward slash travel tax, okay?
11:57That's the address.
11:58Now, obviously, this being the BBC, if you think road pricing's a good idea
12:02and you want to register your thoughts on that, there's a website too, there it is.
12:07Um, and, um, that's the luck with that.
12:12The Mitsubishi Evo. We love that car. It's a great car, isn't it?
12:15Well, this is the new one, the Evo 10. This is what it's probably going to look like.
12:19They've loaded it with loads of technology again.
12:22It's got all these initials, ACD, AYC, ASC, SAWC, MIVEC.
12:29If that's got all the technology, I mean, really road-crossing technology,
12:33and it looks as good as that.
12:35Suddenly, why do you need supercars?
12:37Yeah, why do you?
12:38If it looks like that and goes as well as it could.
12:40There is a slight warning associated with those cars, though, because of all that technology.
12:44I mean, they really do, they go beyond flattering you as a driver.
12:47They sort of, well, they become, it's a bit like one of those automatic pianos
12:50where you play in it and then you take your hands off and it carries on playing.
12:53There's a danger of the cars like that.
12:54If you've got passengers with you and they're looking at you admiringly thinking,
12:57wow, what a brilliant driver, you're excellent,
12:59don't take your hands off the window.
13:01Because...
13:02It will keep going.
13:03And then you'll look an idiot.
13:04A couple of times recently on the programme,
13:06we've said that there'll never be a car to beat the Bugatti Veyron in our lifetime.
13:10It's the ultimate expression of automotive engineering.
13:12It will be for some time.
13:14Turns out we might have been wrong because, look at this.
13:17This is called the Melling Hellcat.
13:19I've got some figures for you.
13:20It's got a six-litre quad-turbo V10,
13:241175 brake horsepower,
13:28and a top speed, they're saying, of 270 miles an hour.
13:32Oh, rubbish.
13:33What?
13:34That's rubbish.
13:35I bet you that's not slippery enough.
13:36You mean not aerodynamic enough?
13:37Yeah.
13:38Can you please not ask me to be the one to find out?
13:41I just don't fancy it.
13:44Hey, last week, did you see the American programme last week?
13:47Yeah!
13:48We, you know, we got into a spot of bothering a petrol station in Alabama.
13:52Turned out we missed a trick.
13:54Because, you know, when that woman came out and she said,
13:56are you gay looking to get beat up in a hick town, you know that one?
13:59And I said, oh, no, no, actually, I'm married with three children.
14:01If only you'd said, well, actually, I'm married with two children,
14:04we could have just pointed at Bachelor Boy.
14:07But the one with long hair, isn't it?
14:10Exactly.
14:11What's them kick the snot out of me?
14:13Chats.
14:14Yeah.
14:15News from the BBC.
14:16BBC, OK?
14:17If you're a BBC employee and you drive fleet cars or hire cars,
14:21you've now got to go on a safe driving programme.
14:23Well, we drive those, do we?
14:24We do.
14:25Yes, we do.
14:26No way.
14:27I'm absolutely not kidding.
14:28It says here, BBC driving is now acknowledged as one of the most serious work-related health and safety issues.
14:35It isn't.
14:36It's just something that's more comfortable than walking.
14:38Yeah.
14:39And then it goes on, the BBC is committed in reducing the risk associated with this activity.
14:43And they're making it sound like masturbation.
14:46Stop driving, you'll go blind.
14:47Exactly.
14:48I've got some of the questions, and I'd like to share some of the questions BBC employees have to face with you.
14:55OK?
14:56You ready?
14:57We'll bring them up on the screen here.
14:58You have a blowout on the motorway.
14:59One for you here, Hammond.
15:00What instinctive reaction should you avoid accelerating?
15:07What?
15:08Oh, my tyre's gone.
15:09This is instinctive reaction.
15:11Taking your hands off the steering wheel.
15:14Well, that'll help.
15:15They're just maniacs.
15:17They're just, I'm so irritated by this.
15:19I can't believe it.
15:20And then exceeding the speed limit in a built-up area is acceptable in vehicles fitted with anti-lock braking systems.
15:26What?
15:27Do you strongly disagree, disagree, agree or strongly agree?
15:29Well, it's not going to be an excuse, is it?
15:32Yeah, officer, it's OK.
15:33I've done 110 through the village.
15:35I have ABS.
15:36Yeah.
15:37No ticket for me.
15:38Why are you looking angry with me, officer?
15:40What's the primary hazard facing drivers when driving at night?
15:44Anyone want to hazard a guess at that?
15:46No, hang on.
15:47Let's just go on.
15:48What's...
15:49Yeah?
15:50What?
15:51Dark?
15:52Anything else?
15:53Germans.
15:54These are all valid points.
15:55None of these things are on my list.
15:57Anybody else got any thoughts?
15:58Peasants.
15:59Peasants.
16:00Peasants.
16:01No, it's glare from other vehicles' headlamps.
16:06Cyclists in dark clothing.
16:07It's their own fault for not working hard enough and having a car.
16:10Fatigue and staying alert.
16:12And it now means you've got to spend 20 minutes next week failing the test and then going on a course.
16:17So I'm sorry we won't be here, ladies and gentlemen, next week, but we'll be much safer drivers when we get back.
16:22Now, here on Top Gear, as you know, we like a bit of a challenge.
16:25We've made amphibious cars.
16:26We've made a convertible people carrier.
16:28But now it's time to see if we can conquer the final frontier.
16:32Space.
16:33No.
16:34Hank, well, what do you mean, no?
16:36No.
16:37Now, you see, we wanted to find out if you could make a car into a spaceship.
16:41Yes, and I thought this was the single stupidest idea I've ever heard in my life and refused to have any part in it.
16:48Ah, you see, but you had underestimated the genius of our space-based plan.
16:59One of the problems with space rockets is that they're jolly expensive.
17:03The superpowers spend billions trying to get their hardware up amongst the stars.
17:11But we thought you could do it for a lot less cash if you based your space rocket on a car.
17:22That meant getting hold of the most rocket-shaped car we could think of.
17:29Yes, it's been around for 30 years, and for 29 of those years, it's been a complete joke.
17:34Now, though, we're going to see if the Reliant Robin has the makings of a spaceship.
17:41It's light, it's cheap, and it tapers to a point, like a rocket.
17:45So we're already heading in the right direction.
17:48But we're not just going to strap rockets to it, set it off and wave it goodbye.
17:52Because we're going to see if we can turn it into the most difficult of all spacecraft.
17:58The one that has to take off and be used again.
18:02A space shuttle.
18:03If you're eight, you're probably going to want to see what happens next.
18:12Our first job had been to put a call in to the Rocketeers.
18:16These were the men who'd helped to send a mini down a ski jump for the Top Gear Winter Olympics.
18:20Three, two, one, initiate.
18:34James and I convened a meeting at their headquarters, just outside the Derbyshire town of Glossop.
18:39It's not exactly the Kennedy Space Centre, is it?
18:44Oh, I don't know.
18:46Inside, we'd assembled a motley crew of boffins.
18:50Right, gentlemen, what we want from you is the most difficult type of space rocket.
18:56A...
18:58Space shuttle.
19:01This has to work properly.
19:03It has to have the big fuel tank, it has to have the booster rockets, they all have to separate.
19:07And most importantly, we have to be able to bring it back down under control to a landing.
19:12And it's worth saying as well that nobody's going to go in this.
19:15Yeah.
19:16The idea of this is that we will send it up to a few thousand feet.
19:21What we're doing is testing the principle.
19:23If you can make all this work and we can bring it into this controlled landing,
19:26we will probably get funding from the EU for a proper space mission.
19:30So you want to launch it, jettison the SRBs?
19:33Jettison the SRBs.
19:35Jettison the Orbiter.
19:36And fly it down.
19:37What's the Orbiter?
19:38The Reliant.
19:39Right.
19:40Have you got a spare billion dollars?
19:42No.
19:43You see, that's why we've come to you.
19:44Manchester and you'll be able to do it for ten and six.
19:46And there'll be as much tea as you can drink while you're doing it.
19:48Yep.
19:49Chips and lard, everything.
19:50Anything you want.
19:53The Rocketmen did some calculations on the back of a laptop.
19:57How do we make this bloody thing work?
19:59Well, we've got the Robin.
20:00They're giving us the Robin, aren't they?
20:02That's the starting point.
20:03Whoopee, whoopee, whoopee, whoopee.
20:04We've got a Robin.
20:05An hour later, and it looks as though Jeremy might have had a point.
20:10It is difficult in every single way.
20:15Right.
20:16You've got to relate, Robin.
20:17It's a car, so it's really, really heavy.
20:20Yeah.
20:21So, rough numbers, we're going to need about 12 times the amount of power that the Mini had.
20:26Really?
20:27It's the largest non-commercial rocket launched in Europe.
20:30It's the most powerful non-commercial rocket launched in Europe.
20:35Right.
20:36As a rocket, it's the most awful shape it could ever be.
20:40But I thought the Robin was a good place to start, because it's pointy at one end.
20:46That's as far as I've got with that.
20:48It's pointy.
20:49Shuttle.
20:50Yeah.
20:52Nevertheless, they set to work with James in tow.
20:57While May was in his element in the world's biggest allotment shed...
21:01Oh, look at that.
21:03...I was trying to work out how to land a Reliant Robin.
21:07These rockets have deployed.
21:10So I'll land it.
21:12Like that.
21:14I wrestled with the problem for ages before I had a brainwave.
21:18Hello, is that model aeroplane monthly?
21:20Great.
21:21Um, I need some help.
21:27This, I think, is the answer.
21:30We've put a more powerful version of whatever this is to our space shuttle.
21:37Then we can take control of it from the ground after it's jettisoned its rockets and fly it in by remote.
21:42It's a good plan.
21:43Just got to get good at flying.
21:50I thought it best to sack myself from this job and instead hired Steve Holland, a champion model aeroplane pilot.
21:57Yeah, and now that is more like it, Steve.
22:04How are you at flying cars?
22:08Cars?
22:09Small cars.
22:10With Steve the pilot on board, I went back to check on James's build.
22:14And I was in for a shock.
22:19The hell, James!
22:20It's enormous!
22:22That's a solid rocket booster.
22:24There are two of those.
22:25That hasn't even got its nose cone on yet.
22:27It's actually a bit bigger than that.
22:28But it's... I was thinking firework on a stick.
22:31I know.
22:32So was I.
22:33But that isn't the biggest bit.
22:34No.
22:35The external fuel tank was the biggest bit, complete with extra rockets in the bottom.
22:40Then there were more rockets in the Reliant and explosive bolts to separate everything.
22:45The whole construction was mind-bogglingly complicated.
22:49What occurs to me now is the list of things to go wrong is...
22:55Enormous.
22:56Yeah.
22:57And if any one of them goes wrong...
22:58See, I've been worried about the landing.
23:00The chances of getting as far as the landing on the day are now...
23:05How did you get on with your flying, by the way?
23:07Good.
23:11The next problem was a biggie.
23:13The Rocketeers were worried that because of the robin's odd shape,
23:17the whole shuttle would spear off course during the ascent.
23:21So, we're happy we've got the power.
23:23Yeah.
23:24Eight tonnes of thrust.
23:25And the thing only weighs one and a half, so it's going to go somewhere.
23:29It's not going to work.
23:31Well, it's got to work. We're quite a long way into it now.
23:34What's that?
23:35Yeah, no, no, but you see, if you look at it like this, it makes a lot more sense.
23:39Mate, we've got to make sure it doesn't just launch...
23:41I mean, it could fall onto its back in the sky or anything.
23:44This isn't about power now.
23:46This is about the shape of it and how that will affect where it goes.
23:49Yeah, where it goes. It's aerodynamic.
23:51We need an aerodynamics expert to look at all this stuff.
23:54One grovelling phone call to the University of the West of England
24:00and we secured permission to use their wind tunnel.
24:03And because it was free, we assumed it was self-service.
24:07Go.
24:08Well, what do you mean go? I don't know what...
24:11Er...
24:20Do that.
24:24That's good.
24:25No matter how hard he tried, James couldn't make himself into the shape of a Reliant Robin, even with help.
24:34Thankfully, two eggheads arrived with a scale model of our shuttle.
24:38You see a beard like that and you know you're in safe hands.
24:41Yep.
24:47Well, basically, we look for anything aerodynamically nasty.
24:51Yeah, the Reliant is a problem aerodynamically.
24:54Well, they didn't really design it with this in mind, did they?
24:57Is there any wash out or wash in on the wing?
24:59It's basically simple, symmetrical, aeroforce.
25:03I don't know what you two are saying.
25:06Well, the aeroforce section of the wing...
25:08No.
25:09Right.
25:11So, the big question...
25:14Will it fly?
25:15I took it from his silence that he had his doubts.
25:23And he wasn't alone.
25:24Like the real thing, our shuttle would glide back to Earth without power.
25:28And Steve, our pilot, had also built a model to show how well it did this.
25:34What's it actually going to feel like to fly to them?
25:36Well, it's going to come down like a lift with a cable cut.
25:39You're not filling me with hope, Steve.
25:41Well, most normal aeroplanes, they sort of glide for about, you know...
25:45If they fly 20 feet forward, they lose about a foot in height.
25:48Yeah.
25:49Afraid the Robin is the other way round.
25:55Three, two, one...
25:57And when the model was released from its tow plane...
26:01It's just plummeting to the Earth.
26:09I'd rather you than me, I tell you.
26:12So, there were doubts about our space shuttle going up,
26:15and doubts about it coming down.
26:18But it was too late to worry now, because she was ready and on her way to the launch site.
26:27APPLAUSE
26:30Don't worry, I still like cars. I promise.
26:34Anyway, we'll pick up their ludicrous story later on,
26:37but now it's time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
26:41My guest tonight is the hero of a new American Hollywood action film
26:46that's set in a sleepy British village sort of die-hard beat.
26:51Anyway, here he is, Simon Pegg!
26:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:56How are you?
26:58Good to see you. Have a seat.
26:59Thank you very much.
27:01A superstar.
27:05Now, um...
27:07I've got to say, we don't really do plugging very much on this show.
27:10Yeah.
27:11Because I'm not very good at it.
27:12And I also like to say how it is, you know?
27:14You keep it real.
27:15Yeah, if some warbler comes on with a new record that's terrible,
27:17we're going to say, your record's terrible.
27:19But your new film, Hot Fuzz, man, that's funny!
27:23Good.
27:24Now, as far as I can work out,
27:25the idea is to make British cops cool, is that right?
27:28Yeah, we just thought...
27:29There's been a big sort of tradition of, like, British films
27:32being about the gangsters and being about the crime sort of world,
27:35because it's easier to make them look cool
27:37because they've got shooters and stuff, you know?
27:40Whereas the British cops have got...
27:41It's slightly against them in terms of their cool.
27:43It's a very traditional force, you know,
27:45the uniform's only just starting to get practical.
27:48And so it's hard to be cool and a British cop.
27:51And the one thing that is difficult for our police force
27:54in terms of the cool-o-meter is the pointy, tall hat,
27:57which pregnant women are still allowed to wee in.
28:00That's true, if they're caught short in the town centre.
28:03You're allowed to wee in a policeman's hat?
28:05Absolutely. If you're pregnant...
28:06Oh, I can claim that.
28:08Come here, officer.
28:10Ooh, that's a lot, mate.
28:12Now, so that people can know what we're on about,
28:15I've actually made sure we've got a clip of this film, OK?
28:17Oh, good.
28:18And it's a bit in the supermarket.
28:20Yes.
28:21When they have, you have a gunfight.
28:23We do. The Battle of Summerfields, we call it.
28:25The Battle of...
28:26So let's have a look at that.
28:28What are you thinking?
28:29Well, we should strike now.
28:30We've got the element of surprise.
28:31Longer we wait, more time they've got to mobilise.
28:32I say we go in through the front entrance,
28:33take the place oil by oil.
28:34Think we'll be expecting that.
28:49Very good. What are you, sir?
28:51Oh, my, my, here come the fuzz.
28:58Maybe they're not here.
29:00Right here.
29:01Don't go in on your own.
29:02Don't worry.
29:03He knows what he's doing.
29:08OK, they're in.
29:09You deal with the store, I'll deal with the trolley boy.
29:11Eh?
29:12Oh!
29:14Oh!
29:15It is...
29:17It is marvellous, that.
29:21Now...
29:24First question I've got to ask is,
29:25did Summerfields let you do that, or did you just go and...?
29:28Yeah, they did.
29:29You know, I've got maximum respect for Summerfield now,
29:32because, you know, we wrote them a letter and said,
29:35look, we're going to have a big fight in one of your supermarkets,
29:37if you don't mind, and it's all in good fun.
29:39It's meant, you know, with a great amount of affection,
29:41and they were like, all right.
29:43And the other one, of course, we've got to go on to car chasers.
29:45Yeah.
29:46Again, the American car tends to be rear-wheel drive,
29:48the police chase.
29:49You used Astrodiesels.
29:51Nothing but the best.
29:52Well, that's what, you know, a lot of the police are kind of lumbered with.
29:56And because, actually, the chase is another Astrodiesel in the chase,
30:00it's like fire and ice.
30:02That chase would never end until the fuel ran out.
30:04Do you know what I mean?
30:05Because there's no...
30:06Oh, yes, two Astrodiesels chasing each other.
30:08It's like the immovable force and the unstoppable object.
30:10The other awful thing, of course, about the Astrodiesel is,
30:12you know those world's wildest police chase video things?
30:15Yeah.
30:16I once watched one of those in America,
30:18and they said, we've got a club from England now.
30:20I'm just dying to die of shame.
30:22And sure enough, it went round a corner on a housing estate
30:25and bumped into a plant pot.
30:26Yeah.
30:27And there's it.
30:28Now, you say you had some driver training for the film.
30:30Did you have gun training as well?
30:32We did a couple of days.
30:34I was pretty proficient anyway.
30:35You were a gunman?
30:36I've got a bunch of weapons.
30:38I pack heat.
30:41But we had some amazing days of just whole days
30:44running through Wells Town Centre,
30:45firing off Winchester 1300M pump-action shotguns.
30:49It's a lovely weapon.
30:50Yeah.
30:51I like the way you throw the model name in there.
30:53Nick Frost calls...
30:54He called it Emma.
30:55He was that attached to it.
30:56And when we were doing space,
30:58he had to dismantle a gun for the show.
31:01So he took a replica MP5 home, which is a machine gun,
31:05took all his clothes off.
31:07No, he...
31:08He stripped to the waist.
31:10It was summertime,
31:11and he put a blindfold on and was kind of doing this.
31:13Took the blindfold off to check the watch,
31:15and there were eight armed police officers
31:17in the living room with their guns drawn.
31:19Like, you know.
31:21And they made the decision that if Nick went like that,
31:23as opposed to that, which is what I did,
31:25they were going to shoot him.
31:26Really?
31:27Yeah.
31:28And he phoned me afterwards.
31:29And he said...
31:31Apparently he was going,
31:32I'm an actor!
31:33I'm an actor!
31:34And they were like,
31:35Well, where's your equity card?
31:36They changed the ruling!
31:37You don't need one anymore!
31:40Now, can I just move on?
31:41Because films...
31:42Yes.
31:43You're a bit of a buff, I gather.
31:44I am a bit.
31:45Star Wars in particular.
31:46Yeah, absolutely.
31:47Did you not once write a 3,500-word essay
31:49on why you thought C-3PO was gay?
31:54No, no.
31:55That was a part of...
31:56What I wrote was...
31:57I analyzed Star Wars from a Marxist perspective
32:00in terms of saying...
32:01What it was was the idea that...
32:03And there were lots of things in Star Wars
32:04that are pretty right-wing.
32:06It came after Vietnam.
32:07It was a big expression of American white middle-class power
32:10and the rejection of the old order of the English.
32:13And you could argue that C-3PO was a kind of emasculated homosexual.
32:17Because he was very camp, but he was safe because he didn't have a willy.
32:22So it was okay.
32:23Homosexual men had willies.
32:25He was sexually non-threatening.
32:26Graham Norton's got a willy.
32:28How do you know?
32:29Do you know what?
32:30I must admit, when I was doing my lap, I was just wishing that I could hear the Stig like Ben Kenobi.
32:42Do you know what I mean?
32:43Slower on the corner, Simon.
32:44Slower on the corner.
32:45Anyway, listen, who would like to see Simon's lap?
32:52Yeah!
32:53Let's have a look at this.
32:56It's great.
32:57That's good.
32:58Nice.
32:59Slight wheel spin.
33:01That's kind of my job, actually.
33:03The commentary on what the car's like.
33:06Oh, yeah!
33:08That was pleasant.
33:10That was very pleasant.
33:12Pleasant's not a word I've ever...
33:14Look at that!
33:15That was my favourite Ben, that one.
33:17Well, why did you...
33:18It was so good, you just kept it going.
33:20F***ing hurt gear, you f***ing.
33:24Leave from Hugh Grant there, from a couple of weeks ago.
33:27And...
33:28Nice.
33:31This is good.
33:33Help!
33:35That's the first cry for help we've had.
33:37This was...
33:38That was so much fun.
33:41God, if you can nail this one, you'll love it.
33:43You're laughing.
33:45Look at those eyes!
33:46No!
33:47Where's the speed gone?
33:48I know.
33:49That was my worst corner.
33:50No!
33:51Oh, you slowed down!
33:52I know, I know, I know.
33:53That was mine.
33:54Oh!
33:55Across the line, yeah!
33:59Five seconds.
34:00There's the adrenaline going, isn't there?
34:03It really, really does.
34:04It was so much fun.
34:05Yeah.
34:06Where do you think you've come?
34:08I'd hope for kind of upper middle.
34:11Above Coogan, please.
34:12Above Coogan.
34:13You did it in one minute, so you're above Jimmy Carr.
34:1940.
34:20So already, you're above Coogan.
34:228.5.
34:24So way above Coogan!
34:26Nice line!
34:27That's a good result.
34:28I think if I'd have nailed that corner, that was the one that bothered me.
34:43I reckon if you'd have done those last two corners at sort of Michael Gambon speed, for instance,
34:47you would have been up there, honestly, with Gordon Ramsay.
34:50Yeah.
34:51That was a very good lap.
34:52It felt really great.
34:55Well, listen, best of luck with the film, and thank you very much for coming, ladies and gentlemen.
34:59Simon Pegg!
35:11Now, in the olden days, it was terribly easy to tune up a mass-produced car.
35:16You put a bigger carburettor on it, you made an air scoop for the bonnet out of plywood, and away you went.
35:21These days, though, it's not quite so easy.
35:24No, and it's especially tricky if you start out with something like this Mercedes SL65.
35:29517 horsepower, V12, twin turbo.
35:32I mean, how can a tuning company possibly make this better than it already is?
35:36And if they could, what kind of monster would you end up with?
35:46Well, you'd end up with this, the most powerful convertible ever made.
35:59Welcome, everyone, to the 160,000-pound Brabus S by Turbo Roadster.
36:14Sweet mother of God, this is fast!
36:24The secret to all this speed, of course, is the engine.
36:31What Brabus do is take the standard Mercedes V12 and then throw almost all of it away.
36:43Only the cylinder block remains, and even that is modified.
36:48Everything else is new.
36:51New and bigger.
36:54The original car has 5.5 litres.
36:56This is a 6.3, and the result of that is dramatic.
36:59730 brake horsepower.
37:03That's more than any Bentley.
37:05It's more than any Ferrari.
37:06More than any Lamborghini, even.
37:11Of course, it's not actually that difficult to screw 730 horsepower from an engine.
37:17But it is difficult to put all that power on the road.
37:21And it's nigh on impossible when the engine is churning out an almost ridiculous 1,000 torques.
37:331,000 torques is what you'd use for restarting a dead planet.
37:38It's so much that when they put the engine in the car, it wouldn't move at all.
37:42Traction control just sat there going, this is impossible.
37:45And when they turned the traction control off, the rear wheel spun till the tyres burst.
37:52As a result, they've now limited it to just 811 torques.
37:57Which is about what you'd use to power a medium-sized aircraft carrier.
38:04Now, at this point, you're probably expecting me to say that they've limited the top speed as well,
38:08and I'm afraid they have, to, um, 219 miles an hour.
38:14The top speed is incredible, but the way it gets there boggles the mind.
38:24A hundred.
38:27A hundred and twenty.
38:30A hundred and forty.
38:32I'm now going 180.
38:35Faster than the top speed of an Apache helicopter gunship.
38:42I'm running out of runway.
38:44I suppose I ought to explain at this point that Mercedes limit this car to 155 miles an hour,
38:55because that's the limit of what various components can take.
38:58So, if you're going to make it go 219 miles an hour, those components have to be changed.
39:08That discreet body kit, therefore, is not for show.
39:12It's there to keep me on the ground, which is handy when you're doing 320 feet a second.
39:19And what kind of underfloor engineering does the Brabus have to keep it in check at this kind of speed?
39:30Well, put simply, it's all very big.
39:35The brakes are the size of dustbin lids and have 12 pistons each.
39:40The tires could encompass Neptune, and at speed the whole car sits lower to the road than normal by 15 millimeters.
39:58So, has it worked?
40:01No, not really.
40:04Even though they've reined in the torque, there's still far too much of it.
40:08Every time you go near the throttle, even in a straight line, you just get the traction control going,
40:15I don't know what to do.
40:18Even if you turn the traction control off this bigger Mercedes, of course, it isn't really off.
40:25You've got the brakes stabbing away at the back tire.
40:30Desperately trying to control a mountain of torque, just wasting that time.
40:36Honestly, you may as well blow on an oil rig fire.
40:45You have to develop a new technique, which is blast down the straight.
40:53Hard on the brakes.
40:54Ooh, I think I've just made a crease in the runway.
41:00And then go very slowly.
41:03Slowly, feed the power in.
41:05Still the traction control squirming away.
41:07And then, oh, no, no, that was too much.
41:13It's very hard work, this.
41:14And worse, after a worryingly short amount of time, the brakes were completely shot.
41:21Still, at least this meant I could pull over and stop the madness.
41:25In terms of handling, then, this car is a nightmare.
41:34It just cannot cope with the volcano under the bullet.
41:37Here, then, is two and a bit tons of proof that absolute power really does corrupt.
41:49Absolutely.
41:50So it's rubbish?
42:02Well, we're going to find out now by putting it on our track.
42:05And that, of course, means handing it over to our tame racing driver.
42:08Some say that if you lick his chest, it tastes exactly the same as pick-a-lily.
42:16And that at this week's Brit Awards, he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand.
42:23All we know is he's called the Steg.
42:28Away he goes.
42:29Tyre struggling to contain all the torques.
42:31He is piling into the first corner already.
42:33A mighty struggle between power, traction control and the Steg.
42:37Look at that!
42:38Unbelievable driving!
42:40Each could hear the other's heart beating, as if they shared just one between them.
42:45Steg's talking book collects from getting another airing there as he barrels through Chicago.
42:49Not looking all that fast, got to say.
42:51Look at a lunatic of a car, this thing.
42:54Through Hammerhead.
42:55Look, you can actually see it wobbling around as the computers...
42:58Look at it, struggling to try and keep it on the straight and narrow, nearly hitting the tyres.
43:02I love him!
43:03She sounded to the elements.
43:05I love him!
43:06Through the follow through.
43:08He can really wind it up here, make up some lost time.
43:11But he's got to have lifted.
43:13Even the Steg's not that stupid.
43:15No, he just doesn't look that fast.
43:17You just can't get the power on when you want to in it.
43:20Second to last corner, just holding it on the track through Gambon.
43:24Barely contained explosion and across the line.
43:27Well, yeah, you're applauding, but...
43:32Ready?
43:36An entirely predictable 1.26.2.
43:39And the problem is very straightforward, OK?
43:42Mercedes spend a million pounds a day on research and development.
43:47A million a day.
43:48So they've got the best brains in the world with all the money in the world to make the standard car as good as it can be.
43:53However, I don't think that this is the end for tuning companies because, if you look at the Jag here, OK?
44:00Now, they spent 35p designing this.
44:02Now, make no mistake, I love it, it's beautiful, but I do think that there is more power to be got out of the V8 under this bonnet.
44:08This is a prime candidate for someone to come along and tune it up a bit.
44:13You're right, you're right.
44:14And, what's more, we're British. We are the inventors of everything.
44:18It is time to brace ourselves, hasten unto the shed, and liberate ourselves from the abyss made dark by the lights of perverted German science.
44:30I think he really has lost it this week.
44:32But it doesn't matter, because we can move on, because it's time for The Cool Wall!
44:38Yes!
44:42And we're beginning...
44:45We're beginning by moving all the four-wheel-drive cars down.
44:48All of them, what?
44:49All of them are going down.
44:50No, hang on, what?
44:51Times have moved on, Richard, 21st century and all that.
44:54No, look, OK, I appreciate it, but not all 4x4s are driven by women round Chelsea.
44:59No, listen, I agree with you, I agree I'm sure with most people here that 4x4s are not killing polar bears, but...
45:04Some of us live in the country, we need them.
45:06You can't move them all down the wall.
45:08Cars are all about pulling women.
45:09For us, obviously, yes.
45:10Do you know what I mean?
45:11For blokes, it's what it's all about.
45:13You're not going to pull socialist women with these, because they don't like them.
45:16Well, what does that matter?
45:17I don't...
45:18Sorry, mate, you're not making any sense.
45:19Socialist women are better in bed than Tory women.
45:21Let me put it to you this way, OK?
45:24I'll give you a straight choice.
45:26Vanessa Redgrave or Ann Widdicombe.
45:28Crikey.
45:29Vanessa Redgrave.
45:30There you are.
45:31Vanessa Redgrave, and as a result, they've all got to come down the board.
45:34They're not cool anymore driving around, and then they're just not.
45:37And do you know what I'm going to do to celebrate this?
45:39I'm going to buy a Range Rover.
45:41Now I'm going to get a V8 one, petrol.
45:43What have you got there?
45:44This is the new Lamborghini Gallardo Spider.
45:47What do we think?
45:48How cool is that?
45:50What?
45:51Sub-Zero?
45:52In the fridge?
45:53Sub-Zero.
45:54Sub-Zero?
45:55Sub-Zero.
45:56All wrong.
45:57Hold on, everybody, with your opinions.
45:58There's a couple of really crucial things you need to know about this car.
46:01Number one, he's just bought one.
46:04Look at this.
46:06Number two, I'm having the wall extended through that wall, down there,
46:10to add a new really, really, really, really, really seriously uncool section.
46:14I'm afraid that is true.
46:15Obviously, if we buy one, we ruin the reputation of that car,
46:18which is why we put that over there.
46:20But this, the Ford GT, can at last come up here,
46:23because I've got rid of it.
46:25Now, next one, Porsche 911.
46:28GT3 RS?
46:30GT3 RS.
46:32It's a brilliant, brilliant car.
46:34But?
46:35Even I'm not going to argue that that's cool.
46:36The scaffolding.
46:37Kristin Scott-Thomas, this is the test we have, as you know.
46:39She gets in that.
46:40Why have you got scaffolding in the back?
46:42You're going to have to explain.
46:43It's a roll cage in case I fall over and park on the roof.
46:45In case I roll over, she's just going to get out.
46:47Yeah.
46:48Why has it got a fire extinguisher?
46:49In case we burst into flames on a racetrack.
46:51Because, honestly, all that stuff in there is like her opening the glove box,
46:53going, why have you got Dettol in here?
46:54Oh, it's in case my eye infection flares up again.
46:57So it's going right down here.
46:59I'll tell you what.
47:00You know if you put a cock-o-meter at the side of the road?
47:02A what?
47:03A cock-o-meter.
47:04You know you drive into villages these days and it tells you your speed?
47:06If there was another one alongside, like one of those thermometers outside a church,
47:09telling you how much of a cock you look, this would be right off the scale.
47:14You drove by in one of those.
47:15I'm not joking.
47:16What have you got?
47:17That is a Kia Seed.
47:18Oh, for God's sake.
47:19Ah, yes.
47:20Now, hang on.
47:21I'm losing the will to live.
47:22I'm a lie.
47:23Does anybody here think that's cool?
47:25No.
47:26Absolute rubbish.
47:27Have you driven one?
47:28No, I wouldn't want one.
47:29No?
47:30Yes?
47:31No.
47:32Does someone say yes?
47:33Yes, there's a lady here saying yes.
47:34You've driven a Kia Seed?
47:35I work for Kia.
47:38On purpose, or is it just like batting unemployment in your town?
47:41It's a fabulous car and it's a fabulous company.
47:44Really?
47:45You're not helping me there.
47:48No, except for one tiny detail.
47:51The Koreans eat dogs.
47:53You're going to come down one morning and don't come crying to me if you find a
47:56Top Gear dog in a BAP.
47:57Again, this is your logic and it's frightening.
48:02I'm telling you, I've won the money.
48:04Come on, be honest.
48:05Why, if you work for Kia, have you got a TVR t-shirt on?
48:09Because TVRs are British and they're fast and they're sub-zero.
48:14Everything Kia's arms.
48:16Let's be...
48:17Right.
48:18This.
48:19Ducati 10-9-8.
48:20I'm sorry, what are you doing?
48:21Ducati 10-9-8.
48:22I'm sorry, what are you doing?
48:24It's a Ducati 10-9-8.
48:26I'd like to put it forward to go on the board.
48:28In fact, I'd like to put it in the cool...
48:29I seriously know there's every reason why this is a very, very cool bike.
48:33It's an Italian superbike, but it isn't just technically very, very clever.
48:38It also looks beautiful.
48:53Not put a motorcycle...
48:56Touched a nerve there, I think.
48:57There I think
49:01With that touch enough
49:06I may not put a motorcycle on the board now that what's happened. I'm sensing disagree wrong from you
49:13Run or you'll be a lot shorter
49:18Now earlier on Richard Hammond and I were attempting to prove John F Clarkson wrong by turning a reliant
49:25Robin into a space shuttle and when we left the action it was all going terribly well
49:36The launch site was a military base whose whereabouts are a top secret
49:48The build began and soon the main fuel tank was assembled and attached to the launch pad together with the solid rocket booster
49:55These parts contained the eight and a half tons of rocket power that would take the reliance up into the heavens
50:05Here's what terrifies me as it is here on that. Let's be honest a bit of scaffolding
50:12Just the tiniest, you know
50:14But that's Birmingham or
50:16That's John and grokes
50:18Look, it's fine. It's held down with some old concrete blocks and some straps that you used to hold furniture down in a removal van
50:25That's perfect
50:27Right, there must be some use that we can do something
50:28As it happened there was we were sent off to dig a bunker for Steve the model airplane pilot who would glide the reliant in
50:37But that wasn't easy because the launch site is littered with unexploded bombs
50:42Thank you for choosing a precision metal detector with your metal detector you can hunt for coins relics jewelry gold and silver just about anywhere
50:53Does it say bombs no?
50:55James had bought his metal detector at argos
50:59So I got myself some serious body armor
51:03You found my JCB
51:15I've just worked out something though from this it only works down to a depth of about three inches
51:20As it turned out it all went rather well
51:25In the main
51:28Look at what he's done
51:32You philistine
51:35Finally our bunker was finished
51:38So that's it then, good
51:40With Steve now fully protected we went back to the launch site where there was good news
51:45Bang on time for its date with destiny
51:47The reliant Robin had arrived
51:49You're alright, you're alright
52:02Keep it coming
52:04You're alright
52:05On that line
52:06You're alright
52:07Yep
52:08You're alright
52:09Back
52:11Nice
52:12And stop
52:13That is the business end of a reusable reliant orbiter
52:21Wow
52:22Then we were entrusted with another job
52:27I reveal to you
52:29I reveal to you
52:30The legend
52:31You spanner
52:34What, that's where it goes on the wing
52:36What it's going to look like when it's up there
52:38Pointing up
52:38Brilliant
52:39Upside down
52:41As night fell the most delicate and risky part of the operation began
52:51Attaching the reliant space orbiter
52:53Attaching the reliant space orbiter to the rockets and fuel tank
52:57I'm not kidding, this bit is genuinely very scary
53:02Because as they're mounting it up and it's quite complicated all the linkages
53:06If the shuttle clogs it and bends any of the release mechanisms
53:10It won't come off
53:11And then the shuttle and the tank will come down
53:14Shall we go over and help?
53:19I think not
53:20Did you hear that really un-NASA thing he said just now?
53:27What?
53:28Right, come on, lads, let's get this from Robin
53:30Oh, ladders coming out
53:35Again, at NASA, they don't keep a step ladder on the launcher pad
53:40One small step ladder
53:42Don't stop laughing, they're getting really gross
53:48Finally, the Robin was attached
53:52And the completed space shuttle made for a truly awesome sight
53:56Everything was looking good
53:58But later, in our suite at the local Rich Sheraton
54:01I was a worried man
54:03Hammond?
54:09What?
54:09What do you think the chances are of it actually working?
54:14It'll work
54:14It's just that, you know, when we do these big things
54:17They usually end in some sort of massive disaster
54:20I'd quite like this one to work
54:25I'm sorry that the time they were supposed to have gone
54:29It's just that, you know, when we do these debt
54:31And I'm around
54:32The last couple of things
54:33We haven't done
54:36In which way they were
54:37We also have iht благ
54:38That was the only one to work
54:39To prevent it
54:40But drive
54:41We would 없다
54:42Theắng
54:43Again
54:44And
54:45In the
54:46Of
54:46The
54:47And
54:47ailable
54:48Faster
54:49Than
54:49Amazing
54:50Well, it's up, it's built, but it's worth a quick reminder of exactly what is going to happen.
55:01Absolutely. We've got eight and a half tons of rocket thrust to push that thing off the ground.
55:05At about 1,000 feet, the two solid rocket boosters will be empty.
55:09They will fall away and come down on parash. It's doing about 100 miles an hour.
55:12Yeah, it'll continue accelerating to about 140.
55:14Then at about 3,000 feet, the orbiter itself will detach from the main body.
55:19That's when Steve, the pilot, takes control. It's his job to glide it in.
55:23He has the option of firing three rockets to extend that glide.
55:26He'll then put it down on the deck on the landing strip and prove that it's a reusable craft.
55:31Yeah.
55:32Of course, all that we've just said is just words.
55:35Words, yeah.
55:36Because to be honest, who knows?
55:40The last few hours were taken up with final preparations.
55:43And with such an ambitious project as this, the complexity of the on-board systems was simply staggering.
55:50Each electronic component had to talk to every other electronic component at exactly the right time.
55:56There have been one or two delays.
56:05Most of these are of an electrical nature.
56:07There's a long wire leading from launch control down to the rocket, and unfortunately, that had a break in it somewhere.
56:12James, a cow ran through it.
56:14Yeah, okay, but that's all sorted.
56:16We are now fueling the bird.
56:18And once that's done, there can be no delays.
56:24It's full of fuels.
56:24They're going to have to light that candle.
56:26Yeah.
56:29The tension now was almost unbearable.
56:33You could almost hear Jeremy preparing some intergalactic smugglers.
56:39So, would it stay on course during the ascent?
56:42Would the rockets and fuel tank detach?
56:51And would Steve, who by the way had refused our kind offer of a bunker, be able to pilot the Robin down safely?
57:01In just a few seconds, we'd know.
57:03Oh, shit!
57:20Oh, shit!
57:22Oh, shit!
57:24What the hell is...
57:31Oh, shit!
57:32What the hell is...
57:32Separate!
57:37Separate!
57:43Separate!
57:48Separate!
57:53Separate.
57:5812, 1,000.
58:03Separate.
58:04Right.
58:04Separate.
58:19Oh, no.
58:23That's why.
58:30How are you going to use it again?
58:47That's enough.
58:49Really.
58:49Next week, these two completely lose touch with reality and try to get to the centre
58:55of the earth with a lawnmower.
58:56Come on.
58:57I think we did quite well.
58:59Didn't we?
59:00By what measure do you arrive at that conclusion?
59:03Well, in fairness, it was only one bolt that let us down.
59:06It was only one iceberg that sank the Titanic.
59:08It sank.
59:09The fact of the matter is you just blew a big hole in Northumberland.
59:13Yeah, and next week, we're all of us ruining Bedfordshire with tractors.
59:18That's true, but don't worry, because I'm also driving up and down our track very fast
59:22in a Lamborghini.
59:23So we really hope we'll see you then.
59:25Take care.
59:26Good night.
59:26Was the American government involved somehow?
59:349-11, The Conspiracy Files, next on BBC Two.
59:38And on BBC Three, it's the end of the road in Namibia and time to discover how much weight
59:42everyone has lost.
59:43Fat men can't hunt.
59:45Fat men can't hunt.
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