Yes Minister  S03E04 - The Moral Dimension - video Dailymotion

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Tv, Yes Minister  S03E04 - The Moral Dimension   #YesMinister

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00:00Thank you for listening.

00:30Thank you for listening.

01:00Our little delegation.

01:03You said they've been paired to the bone.

01:05So it has.

01:06Well, who are they?

01:07Well, it starts with a small delegation from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.

01:10But this is a DAA mission.

01:14Yes, but we are going abroad.

01:16Foreign policy is at stake.

01:18We're going to ratify the contract for one of the biggest export orders Britain has ever obtained in the Persian Gulf.

01:23But that was all negotiated by British Electronic Systems Limited.

01:27What do we need with all these civil servants?

01:29Who are all the rest?

01:30Well, there's a delegation from the Department of Trade and one from Industry.

01:34There's a small group from Energy.

01:35After all, we are going to an oil shakedom.

01:38There's a Deputy Secretary leading a team from the Cabinet Office.

01:42There's the group from the Central Office of Information.

01:44Then there's our own team from the DAA.

01:45Hey, press secretaries, private secretaries, he is on with other departments, secretaries.

01:51Those from the legal department who did the contract, those who supervised the contract.

01:55Paired to the bone?

01:56Paired to the bone.

01:57But when we were going to meet the Qumranis in Middlesbrough, we were only going to take seven people with us.

02:01Well, Teesside is perhaps not quite so diplomatically significant as Qumran.

02:06Teesside returns four MPs.

02:08Qumran controls Shell and BP.

02:13What are you doing here?

02:14Purely my sense of duty-free.

02:17Duty-free?

02:20A duty free from any personal considerations.

02:23Let you care to approve this, Minister?

02:26What is it?

02:26It's the final communique.

02:28The final communique?

02:29You can't write the communique before you've had the meeting.

02:31On the contrary, Minister, you can't write the communique after you've had the meeting.

02:35No, we have to get agreement from half a dozen other departments.

02:38From the E.C., from Washington, from the Qumrani Embassy.

02:41You can't do all that in a few hours in the middle of the desert.

02:44But this may bear no relation to what we actually say.

02:46Well, no communique ever bears any relation to what you have to say.

02:49Well, why have one?

02:50Well, it's a sort of exit visa that gets you past the press corps.

02:53The journalists needed to justify their huge expenses for a futile non-event.

02:58Non-event?

02:59Oh, well, of course, a brilliant triumph for you, Minister.

03:02Which is why it's a futile non-event for the press.

03:06What they'd really like is for me to get drunk at the reception or something.

03:09Oh, yes.

03:10Not much hope of that.

03:12Qumran is dry.

03:13Oh.

03:14Well, of course, it is in the middle of the desert.

03:19You mean Islamic law?

03:22Alas, yes.

03:22We shall be able to get a drink at the British Embassy, shall we?

03:27Well, at the Embassy, yes, but the reception and the dinner at the Palace.

03:31Five hours of orange juice.

03:34Five hours?

03:35Without a single drinkie?

03:36Why don't you let me come on this trip, I'm afraid.

03:40Okay.

03:41What are we going to do?

03:43Hip flasks?

03:44No, no.

03:44Much too risky.

03:45We have to grin and bear it.

03:48Why don't we set up a security communications room next door to the reception?

03:53You know, emergency telephones, telex lines to Downing Street, all that sort of thing.

03:57Then we could fill it with cases of booze brought in from the innocent.

04:01Minister!

04:02Liven up the orange juice.

04:05That is us.

04:06Roke of genius.

04:09Good job.

04:10Well, a special communications room would need a major crisis.

04:14Five hours on orange juice is a major crisis.

04:16Well, the pound is under pressure.

04:18Could you arrange it, Humphrey?

04:20Well, if those are your instructions, Minister, I think I can guarantee enthusiastic support.

04:24It really was awfully generous of you to present me with this very splendid gift.

04:48It is a great pleasure to be able to commemorate this day.

04:52It's so beautiful.

04:53A magnificent example of 17th century Islamic art.

04:59What was it originally?

05:00A rosewater jar.

05:01I see.

05:02I see.

05:02For, er, rosewater, presumably.

05:06Quite so.

05:07Oh, excuse me, Minister.

05:08There's an urgent call for you in the communications room.

05:10A Mr. Hague.

05:11General Hague?

05:19No, Mr. Hague.

05:20You know, with the dimples.

05:24Excuse me.

05:25Most important.

05:33I believe there's a message for me from Mr. Hague.

05:36Yes, Minister.

05:48I'm the only woman here.

05:49Yes, special dispensation.

05:51They've made you an honorary man for the evening.

05:54This is going to look wonderful on the corner table in our hall.

05:57Oh, well, actually, Mrs. Hacker, I'm not sure if...

05:58If what?

06:00Well, you see, it's a gift to the Minister.

06:01Well, it's his hall, too.

06:03No, what I mean is, I don't think you'll be allowed to keep it.

06:06Why ever not?

06:07Well, I suppose it could be thought, if it were valuable,

06:09it could influence some ministers.

06:12I mean, not your minister.

06:13That is my minister.

06:14Our minister.

06:14Your husband, as it is, in fact.

06:17I mean, he is.

06:19I mean, well, some ministers...

06:21Bernard!

06:23Sorry.

06:24Are you telling me we have to give it back?

06:26Oh, no, no, that would be an insult.

06:28We can't keep it.

06:29We can't give it back.

06:30What do I do?

06:30Well, it becomes the property of the government,

06:32and it's put in a basement somewhere in Whitehall.

06:34Are you sure we can't keep it?

06:36Not if it's worth more than about 50 pounds.

06:39How do we find out?

06:40You get a valuation.

06:41Could you get a valuation?

06:43Well...

06:43Wouldn't it be wonderful if it was less than 50 pounds,

06:47because it's awfully pretty?

06:49Well, I...

06:50I suppose I could try.

06:54Oh, Bernard, you are wonderful.

06:56Well, I don't know what we'd do without you.

06:59Ah.

07:00Bernard.

07:01Excuse me.

07:02Wanted in the communications room,

07:03Mr. John Walker.

07:09Johnny Walker?

07:10Yes, from the Scotch office.

07:15Scottish office.

07:16Isn't there a message for me, darling?

07:17Yes, of course there is.

07:19Bernard will get it for you.

07:21Give him your glass.

07:22If you give him your glass,

07:24he'll get you some more orange juice as well.

07:27Oh, Bernard.

07:28Is Humphrey here yet?

07:29Yes, he's just over here.

07:30Yes, that's good.

07:32Ah, excuse me.

07:33What's that?

07:39What do you...

07:40Ah.

07:41Traditional foreign office courtesy

07:43to our Arab hosts.

07:44Isn't that right, Effendi?

07:45Ah, spot on, Humpy.

07:48Isn't that right, Your Royal Highness?

07:50Yes, we regard it as a most warm

07:52and gracious compliment.

07:53May I present our minister, Mr. Hacker.

07:55This is Prince Mohammed.

07:57How do you do, Your Royal Highness?

07:58Pleased to meet you, Your Excellency.

08:00Excellency.

08:01I say, if you'll excuse me,

08:03I just must have a quick word with Sir Humphrey.

08:05Please.

08:05Highness, I can't believe my eyes.

08:08What do you hear as Alibaba?

08:11Minister, when in Rome...

08:12We are not in Rome.

08:13Humphrey, you look ridiculous.

08:15I suppose if we were in the Fiji Islands,

08:17you'd be dressed in a grass skirt.

08:19The Foreign Office takes the view

08:21that as the Arab nations are a very sensitive people,

08:24that we should show them whose side we're on.

08:26Well, it may come as a surprise to the Foreign Office,

08:28but you're supposed to be on our side.

08:29Sir Bert, any messages in the communications?

08:35Oh, well, there is one for Sir Humphrey, Minister.

08:36Oh, good, yes.

08:37Yes, the Soviet embassies on the line,

08:39Sir Humphrey, and Mr. Smirnoff.

08:45Sorry.

08:48Are you sure there isn't one for me?

08:50Oh, well, there was a message

08:51from the British Embassy compound,

08:53the school,

08:54a delegation of teachers.

08:55Oh.

08:57Must go and greet the teachers.

08:59Yes.

08:59Before the bells goes.

09:01Bell goes.

09:04You are receiving a great many

09:07very urgent messages.

09:08Yes, yes, we are.

09:10Oh, Bernard, excuse me.

09:11Your Royal Highness,

09:12I wonder if I could present Mr. Pennington.

09:15Excuse me.

09:16Oh, yes, of course, Your Highness.

09:17Excuse me, Effendi,

09:21but I could not help

09:22overhearing your conversation

09:24about valuing the gift.

09:26Perhaps I can help.

09:27Oh, well, that would be...

09:28Do you have any idea how much?

09:30Of course.

09:31An original 17th century

09:33rosewater jar is very valuable.

09:35Oh, dear.

09:36You are not pleased?

09:37Yes and no.

09:39You see, if it's too valuable,

09:41the Minister won't be allowed to keep it,

09:42and I was rather hoping it wasn't.

09:44Ah.

09:45Well, as I was saying,

09:47an original 17th century

09:49rosewater jar is very valuable,

09:51but this copy,

09:52though excellently done,

09:54is not of the same order.

09:55Oh, good.

09:57About how much?

09:59I would be interested

10:00to hear your guess.

10:03Oh.

10:04Well, a little under 50 pounds?

10:07Brilliant.

10:09Quite a connoisseur.

10:10And you would sign

10:11a valuation certificate?

10:12But of course.

10:15Your English customs

10:16are very strange.

10:18Oh, why?

10:19You are so strict

10:20about a little gift,

10:21and yet your electronics company

10:23pays our finance minister

10:24a million dollars

10:25for his cooperation

10:26in securing this contract.

10:27Is this not strange?

10:32You...

10:32You don't mean...

10:33Of course.

10:34I worked for the finance ministry.

10:36I got my share of the money.

10:38What?

10:38For keeping my mouth shut.

10:43I see.

10:44Would you excuse me

10:45for a moment?

10:48Minister,

10:49can I have a private word

10:50with Sir Humphrey?

10:50Oh, yes.

10:51You may speak freely.

10:53Yes.

10:55Oh, there was a message

10:56for you in the communications room.

10:57Ah.

10:58The Vat Man,

10:58your 69 returns.

11:01Vat 69.

11:03Oh!

11:04Ah!

11:05Yes.

11:05Thanks.

11:11I'm rapidly coming

11:12to the conclusion, Bernard,

11:13that the minister

11:14has had almost

11:15as many urgent messages

11:17as he can take.

11:19Well, I've just found out

11:20the most terrible thing,

11:21Sir Humphrey.

11:21Oh, dear me.

11:22This contract

11:23was obtained by bribery.

11:25Of course.

11:25All contracts

11:29in Qumran

11:29are obtained

11:30by bribery.

11:30Everybody knows that.

11:32It's perfectly all right

11:33as long as nobody knows.

11:35Shouldn't we tell

11:36the minister?

11:36Certainly not.

11:37What if everybody knows?

11:39Everybody else.

11:41Do not let a minister

11:42know what everybody

11:43else knows, Bert.

11:44Ah, yes.

11:46Ah, very nice

11:46to see you.

11:47Ah, Mr.

11:48Lawrence of Arabia.

11:50Wanted from

11:50the communications room.

11:51Oh, dear.

11:52Who is it?

11:54Napoleon.

11:55It is alleged

12:03in Le Monde

12:04that the recent

12:05British Electronic Systems

12:07contract with Qumran

12:07was won by bribery.

12:10Did you hear this, Humphrey?

12:11Yes, indeed, minister.

12:13It's said that this is

12:14part of a hideous

12:15web of corruption

12:16woven by Western

12:17industrial countries

12:18and Third World governments

12:19that forms a blot

12:21on our modern civilization.

12:23The webs don't form blots,

12:24minister.

12:25Well, spiders

12:27don't have any ink,

12:28you see.

12:31Only cuttlefish.

12:33Spiders don't have

12:33cuttlefish.

12:34What are you talking about?

12:35No, I know, you see.

12:36Thank you, Bernard.

12:38Isn't this terrible?

12:39To print baseless

12:40accusations like this.

12:41Oh, yes, yes.

12:42Terrible.

12:43Bexish, palm greasing.

12:45God, we're British.

12:46Absolutely.

12:47Absolutely, minister.

12:50It's not like the FT

12:51to print a story like this

12:52unless there's something

12:53behind it.

12:55Is there something

12:56behind it, Humphrey?

12:57I think the sports news

12:58is behind it.

13:02I want to know

13:03the truth, Humphrey.

13:05I don't think you do, minister.

13:07Will you answer

13:07a direct question?

13:09I strongly advise you

13:10not to ask a direct question.

13:12Why?

13:12It might provoke

13:13a direct answer.

13:15Never has yet.

13:18Bernard, what do you

13:19know about all this?

13:20Tell me on your

13:20word of honour.

13:22Oh, well, I, uh,

13:23that is, um,

13:24there was.

13:25Someone did.

13:26There's a lot of gossip,

13:27that's all, minister.

13:29Rumour, hearsay.

13:30Bernard?

13:31Well, one of the

13:31Cambranians did tell me

13:32that he'd received, uh,

13:34hearsay, minister.

13:35Hearsay.

13:36Yes, Bernard heard

13:37him say it.

13:39Are you telling me,

13:40Humphrey, that the

13:41BES contract was won

13:42by bribery?

13:43Oh, minister, I do wish

13:44you wouldn't use words

13:45like bribery.

13:46Oh, what would you

13:47like to say?

13:48Slush funds, sweeteners,

13:50brown envelopes?

13:51Oh, minister, these are

13:51extremely crude and

13:53unworthy expressions for

13:55what is no more than

13:56creative negotiation.

13:57It is the general

13:58practice.

13:59You do realise what

14:00you're saying, don't

14:01you, Humphrey?

14:01I ratified that

14:02contract, didn't I,

14:03in good faith?

14:04Yes, indeed, minister.

14:05And did that

14:05communique that I

14:06issued to the press,

14:07I announced a

14:08British success, won

14:09in a fair fight?

14:10Yes, I did wonder

14:11about that bit.

14:13And now you're

14:14telling me that it

14:14was got by bribery?

14:16No, minister.

14:17Oh, it was not

14:18got by bribery?

14:19That is not what I

14:19said.

14:21Well, what did you

14:21say?

14:22I said I am not

14:22telling you it was

14:23got by bribery.

14:25Well, how would you

14:26describe these

14:27payments?

14:27How does the

14:29contract describe

14:30them, you mean?

14:30Yes.

14:31Oh, well, that's

14:32really quite simple.

14:33Retainers, personal

14:33dolations, special

14:35discounts, miscellaneous

14:37outgoings, agent's

14:38fees, political

14:39contributions, management

14:41expenses.

14:42And how are these

14:43payments made?

14:44Well, anything from a

14:45numbered account in a

14:46Swiss bank to a fistful

14:48of used oncers slipped

14:49under the door of the

14:50gents.

14:50Do you realise how

14:53shocking this is?

14:54Oh, minister, that is a

14:55narrow and parochial view.

14:57In other parts of the

14:58world, they see things

14:59quite differently.

15:00So there's not a branch

15:01of geography, Humphrey.

15:02Oh, but it is, minister.

15:03In developing countries, the

15:04size of the extra

15:07contractual payment is the

15:08means of showing how

15:09serious you are about the

15:10deal.

15:11It's like a publisher's

15:12advance to an author.

15:13The one who pays the

15:14biggest advance is the one

15:16who expects the biggest

15:16sales, that's all.

15:18I just don't believe

15:19this.

15:19Are you saying that

15:20winking at corruption is

15:21government policy?

15:22No, no, minister.

15:24It could never be

15:24government policy.

15:25That is unthinkable.

15:27Only government

15:28practice.

15:30That was the press

15:31office, minister.

15:32Looks as if the papers

15:33may want a statement

15:33about the Qumran bribery

15:35allegation.

15:35A statement?

15:36Well, what am I going

15:37to say?

15:37Well, I'm sure the press

15:38office can devise

15:39something convincing and

15:40meaningless.

15:40After all, that's what

15:41they're paid for.

15:43You're a cynic, Humphrey.

15:45Cynic.

15:46A cynic is what an

15:47idealist calls a

15:49realist.

15:51That's the total

15:51truth.

15:52After all, I knew

15:53nothing of this.

15:55Why should I back

15:55something that I never

15:56approved?

15:57But this contract

15:58means thousands of

15:59British jobs, millions

16:01of export dollars.

16:02Surely you're not going

16:03to throw all that

16:04away because of some

16:04small technical

16:05irregularity.

16:06It is not a small

16:07technical irregularity.

16:08It is corruption.

16:09No, no, minister.

16:11Merely a few

16:12uncontracted prepayments.

16:14Humphrey, I don't

16:15expect you to

16:15understand this, but

16:16government is not

16:17just a question of

16:18fixing and

16:18manipulating.

16:20There is a moral

16:21dimension.

16:21Oh, yes, of course,

16:23minister, the moral

16:24dimension.

16:25I assure you it is

16:26never out of my

16:27thoughts.

16:28So, if this comes up

16:29in Parliament or if

16:29questions are asked in

16:30the press, I shall

16:31announce an inquiry.

16:32Oh, splendid idea,

16:33minister.

16:34I shall be most happy

16:34to conduct it.

16:35No, no, no, no, no.

16:37No, no.

16:38Not an internal

16:39inquiry.

16:40A real inquiry.

16:41Minister, you can't be

16:42serious.

16:42A real inquiry.

16:43No, minister, I beg you.

16:45Comfrey, the moral

16:46dimension.

16:53Good evening, Mrs. Hackett.

16:54Oh, Bernard, come in.

16:55Gin's just coming.

16:56Thank you very much.

16:57Not you, Bernard?

16:58Yes, minister.

16:59Come for a moment.

17:00Hello, there's that jar

17:01from Qumran.

17:02Yes, funnily enough,

17:03a friend of mine was

17:04round here this afternoon

17:05and was frightfully

17:05interested in it.

17:06Oh, really?

17:07Her name's Jenny Goodwin

17:08from The Guardian.

17:10The Guardian?

17:11She asked where

17:12it came from.

17:13A journalist?

17:14Yes.

17:15Well, The Guardian,

17:16anyway.

17:19She asked what it was

17:20worth.

17:20I said about 50 pounds.

17:22You said about 50 pounds?

17:24Yes.

17:24Funnily enough,

17:25she thought it was

17:26genuine.

17:27She thought it was

17:27genuine?

17:28Yes.

17:29Bernard, you sound

17:30like an answering machine.

17:32Oh, I'm sorry.

17:33She asked if I'd mind

17:34if she rang up the

17:35Qumranie embassy

17:35to ask what it was worth.

17:37To ask what it was worth.

17:40So, what did you say?

17:41Oh, I said,

17:42by all means.

17:44It is only a copy,

17:45isn't it, Bernard?

17:47Well, so far as I'm,

17:50so I'm led to.

17:52Good gracious,

17:53is that time?

17:57Now, Bernard.

17:58Oh, sorry, Sir Humphrey.

17:59The minister's going

17:59to be a few minutes late.

18:02Well, come back.

18:05Well, actually, Sir Humphrey,

18:06I wonder if I could

18:07have a word with you.

18:08Yes.

18:12I said yes.

18:15Yes, I know.

18:17You see,

18:18something the matter,

18:20Bernard.

18:22Come on,

18:23out with it.

18:25Did you send the minister

18:26to the wrong dinner?

18:30Give him the wrong speech?

18:31Show him some papers

18:34we didn't mean him to see.

18:38Worse?

18:41Much worse?

18:46You'd better sit down.

18:51Tell me about it.

18:53Well, you know that jar

18:55the minister was given

18:56in Qumran.

18:57Well, the minister's wife

18:58liked it.

19:00I expect she did.

19:01And then when I explained

19:02the rules to her,

19:03she looked terribly sad.

19:06They always do.

19:09And then she asked,

19:10was it really worth

19:10more than 50 pounds?

19:11And she said,

19:12wouldn't it be marvelous

19:13if it wasn't?

19:13And she sort of

19:14looked at me.

19:16But my dear Bernard,

19:18a 17th century vase.

19:20Yes, I know, I know.

19:21But there was this terribly

19:22nice Qumrani businessman

19:23and we had a...

19:26a...

19:27a conversation

19:29and he valued it

19:31as a copy,

19:32not as an original.

19:3349 pounds, 95p.

19:39And you believed him?

19:40Well, yes,

19:41he said he was an expert

19:42and he spoke Arabic

19:43awfully well.

19:43And so I accepted

19:46his valuation in good faith.

19:47After all,

19:48Islam is a jolly good faith.

19:51Bernard,

19:52you took a grave

19:53personal risk.

19:54You're lucky

19:54nobody has asked

19:55any questions.

19:56Well, that's just it,

19:56you see.

19:57A journalist from

19:57The Guardian

19:58saw it in the minister's house

19:59and started to ask

20:00a lot of questions.

20:00Of course,

20:01Mrs. Hacker said

20:02it was a copy,

20:02but the press

20:04are so horribly

20:05suspicious about things.

20:07Despicable.

20:08So,

20:09what shall I do?

20:11The minister

20:11must be told

20:12I'm sorry to keep you.

20:18That's all right.

20:19You read my submission,

20:21minister.

20:21Yes, I did,

20:21and it won't do.

20:22I'm not going to be accused

20:23of sweeping bribery

20:24under the carpet.

20:25So,

20:25if questions are asked,

20:27I'm going to announce

20:27a full independent inquiry

20:29chaired by QC.

20:30But, minister,

20:31you can't.

20:31That contract is worth

20:32340 million pounds.

20:34Get the behind me,

20:35Humphrey,

20:36the moral dimension.

20:38Well, minister,

20:39if there is an inquiry,

20:41other things may come out,

20:42too.

20:43Such as?

20:45I'm afraid Bernard

20:46has something to tell you.

20:53Well?

20:57Well,

20:58you know that jar

20:59the Qumranis gave you?

21:00Yes, it's up the flat now,

21:01most attractive.

21:02Well,

21:02I told Mrs. Hacker

21:03she could keep it

21:04because I had it valued

21:05for less than 50 pounds,

21:06but I'm not sure.

21:07The man who valued it

21:08was awfully nice,

21:08and I told him

21:10Mrs. Hacker liked it a lot,

21:11but he may have been

21:12just, well,

21:14being helpful.

21:16It's all right, Bernard.

21:17No one will ever know.

21:19Jolly enterprising,

21:20after.

21:20No,

21:20Mrs. Hacker told me

21:21a journalist had seen it

21:22and was asking a question.

21:25Journalist?

21:26Now to see that valuation.

21:31Hmm.

21:32The Treasury

21:33isn't too happy

21:34about valuations

21:35written on the backs

21:35of menus.

21:36It is a very good menu.

21:41What is it worth, really?

21:43Well, if it's a copy,

21:44what the valuation says,

21:45probably.

21:46And if it's genuine?

21:48About 5,000 pounds.

21:49Oh, my God.

21:51I kept it.

21:52All right, send him in.

21:53Minister,

21:53Bill Pritchard

21:54from the press office

21:54is coming in to talk.

21:55Not now, Bernard,

21:56not now.

21:57I'm trying to deal

21:57with this terrible problem

21:58you've landed me with.

21:59Well, that's what

22:00he wants to talk to you about.

22:02Well,

22:03Minister,

22:03the Foreign and Commonwealth

22:04Office are in a frightful state.

22:06It seems that

22:07Mrs Hacker has told

22:08the Guardian

22:08that that extremely

22:09valuable 17th century thing

22:11presented to you

22:11by the Qumrani government

22:12was a copy.

22:14The Guardian phoned

22:15the Qumrani embassy

22:16for their comments.

22:17Now the Qumran government

22:18are incensed

22:19at the suggestion

22:20that they insulted Britain

22:21by giving you

22:22a worthless gift.

22:23The FCOs say

22:24it's building up

22:24into the biggest

22:25diplomatic incident

22:25since death

22:26of a princess.

22:26And there's a reporter

22:30outside from the Guardian

22:32demanding to see you

22:32right away.

22:39Yes, Bernard.

22:42Minister,

22:42what are you...

22:45Bernard,

22:45my duty is clear.

22:47I have no choice.

22:49No choice?

22:50No choice, Bernard.

22:51I didn't ask you

22:53to lie to my wife

22:54about the value

22:54of that gift,

22:55did I?

22:55Well, no, but...

22:56Bernard,

22:57I realise that you acted

22:58from the purest possible motives,

23:00but I'm sorry.

23:01There can be no excuse

23:02for falsifying a document.

23:04But I...

23:04Let me continue, please.

23:06I cannot have it said

23:07that I asked you to do this.

23:08No more, Humphrey,

23:09than I have it said

23:10that I connived

23:11at bribery and corruption

23:12in our business dealings.

23:14Enough is enough.

23:15So I'm afraid

23:16if this journalist

23:17asks me straight questions

23:19on either of these subjects,

23:21I shall have to give her

23:22straight answers.

23:25The moral dimension.

23:28Miss Minister,

23:29I agree with you.

23:30I see now

23:31that there is a moral dimension

23:32to everything.

23:37Will you tell the press

23:38about the communications room,

23:40or shall I?

23:40Yes.

23:45You know,

23:49all the scotch in Qumran.

23:53You mean to tell me

23:54that...

23:55if I say...

23:57then you must tell...

24:00and drop me in the...

24:03in the...

24:04In the moral dimension.

24:10This is completely different.

24:12It's not the same thing at all.

24:13Why?

24:14Drinking.

24:14It's not corruption.

24:16No, it's just deceit,

24:17that's all.

24:18We have deceived the Qumranis.

24:20I am racked with guilt.

24:24Tormented by the knowledge

24:25that we have violated

24:27their Solomon's

24:28sacred Islamic law

24:28in their own country.

24:31Sooner or later,

24:32we'll have to own up

24:33and admit

24:33that it was all your idea.

24:36It wasn't.

24:36It was.

24:40Was it?

24:42Is it 50 lashes

24:44or a hundred?

24:47Minister,

24:47I must ask you

24:48to meet this journalist

24:49or she'll write

24:50something terrible anyway.

24:51Oh, yes, yes,

24:52all right, yes.

24:53What am I going to say?

24:54Well, may I suggest

24:55that attack

24:56is the best form

24:57of defence?

24:58Yes, attack.

24:59Attack, yes.

25:00Good thinking.

25:01Have for you.

25:02Yes.

25:03Got it.

25:04Minister,

25:04may I introduce

25:05Miss Jenny Goodwin

25:06from the garden?

25:06Oh, I do come in.

25:08Sit down,

25:08won't you, Jenny?

25:09I may call you Jenny,

25:10may I not?

25:11If you like.

25:12Now,

25:13what seems to be the trouble?

25:15Two things, really, Minister.

25:16Both of them

25:17rather worrying

25:18to the public.

25:19The first is a story

25:20that you may have seen

25:21in the French press.

25:23It's about corruption

25:24in BES

25:25getting the Qumrani contract.

25:27Complete nonsense.

25:29But they quoted reports

25:30of payments to officials.

25:32Really,

25:32this is absolutely typical.

25:34A British company

25:35slogs its guts out

25:36to win orders,

25:37create jobs,

25:38earn dollars,

25:38and what does it get

25:39from the media?

25:40A smear campaign.

25:41But if they won by bribery,

25:42There is no question

25:43of bribery.

25:44I've had a full

25:45internal inquiry

25:46and all these so-called

25:47payments have been identified.

25:49What has?

25:51Commissioner,

25:52these administrative overheads,

25:54operative costs,

25:55managerial surcharges,

25:56introduction expenses,

25:58miscellaneous outgoings.

25:59We have looked into

25:59every brown envelope.

26:02Every brown envelope.

26:05Every account book

26:07and everything

26:07is completely in order.

26:09I see.

26:10And may I say

26:11one further thing?

26:12Allegations of this nature

26:13are symptomatic

26:14of a very sick society

26:15for which I'm afraid

26:16the media must take

26:17its share of the blame.

26:18The media?

26:19Why are you putting

26:20thousands of British jobs

26:21at risk?

26:22I am calling on the press council

26:24to censure the press

26:25for its appalling

26:26lack of professional standards

26:27in running this story.

26:29The council,

26:29and indeed,

26:30the House of Commons

26:31must be concerned

26:32about the standards

26:33which have applied

26:33in this disgraceful matter.

26:36And pressure

26:36will be brought to bear

26:37to make sure

26:38that this sort of

26:39gutter press reporting

26:40is not repeated.

26:43I see.

26:44Well,

26:45there is this other question.

26:47It's about the

26:48rose water jar

26:49apparently presented

26:51to you in Qumran.

26:52Yes.

26:53Well,

26:53I saw it in your flat,

26:55actually.

26:55Well, yes,

26:56we're keeping it there

26:56temporarily.

26:58Temporarily?

26:59Oh, yes,

26:59it's very valuable,

27:00you know.

27:00Mrs. Hacker said

27:02that it was an imitation.

27:03Burglars, girl,

27:03burglars.

27:05You gossip.

27:08I'm sure we can get rid of it.

27:09Get rid of it.

27:10Yes,

27:10I'm presenting it

27:11to our local museum

27:12as soon as I get up

27:12to the constituency

27:13at the weekend.

27:15Well,

27:15I can't hold on to it,

27:15you know.

27:16It's government property.

27:18Now,

27:20what was your question?

27:23No,

27:23that's,

27:25that's all right,

27:26actually.

27:26Um,

27:26I,

27:27no,

27:28no,

27:28that's fine.

27:29Nothing more.

27:31No,

27:31no,

27:31that's all.

27:32Oh,

27:32well,

27:33good if you drop it.

27:35Thank you,

27:35Minister.

27:36Goodbye,

27:36Jenny.

27:42Superb,

27:42Minister.

27:46Thank you,

27:47Minister.

27:47Well,

27:48it was nothing.

27:49One must stick by

27:50one's friends.

27:51Yeah,

27:51I'm fine.

27:52Come on.

27:55Loyalty?

27:57Yes,

27:58Minister.

27:58Thank you very much.

Yes Minister S03E04 - The Moral Dimension

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