- 1 day ago
- #yesminister
Tv, Yes Minister - S01E06 The Right to Know
#YesMinister
#YesMinister
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00.
01:00Bernard minister not in yet oh yes he's in his office having a meeting what about
01:12nothing very important I see and what was that meeting in there yesterday the minister was just
01:20reviewing procedures for briefing him on answers to parliamentary questions but there were principals
01:26president and assistant secretaries and other assorted underlings just the ones who actually
01:31supply him with the actual information actually sound free Bernard this has to be stopped at once
01:36why well if he talks to the underlings he may learn things that we don't know our whole position could
01:44be undermined but why if it increases our knowledge it is folly to increase your knowledge at the
01:49expense of your authority why Bernard please stop saying why why I mean could you develop that
01:59point please would you say that the minister is starting to run the department oh yes indeed
02:06actually things are going pretty well actually no Bernard when a minister actually starts to run
02:11his department things are not going pretty well actually they're actually going pretty badly but
02:15actually I mean in fact isn't it the minister's job to run the department no Bernard it is our job or
02:24to be more precise it is my job for which I've had 25 years experience and training don't you realize
02:29what would happen if we allowed the minister to run the department no what well in the first place
02:34there would be chaos naturally and in the second which is much more serious there would be innovations
02:39changes Bernard public debate outside scrutiny gosh is that what you want good heavens no I mean but
02:48what should he do then Bernard a minister has three functions first as an advocate making the
02:55department's actions seem plausible to parliament and public he is in fact our public relations man
03:00second he is our man in Westminster steering our legislation through parliament and third he is our breadwinner
03:09he has to fight in cabinet for the money we need to run our department but he is not here to review
03:17departmental procedures with principals and assistant secretaries what if he's got the time why has he got the time he
03:23shouldn't have the time that's your fault Bernard you're here to ensure that he hasn't got the time
03:28create activity Bernard you should be making speeches provincial visits we need deputations junkets
03:35abroad mountains of red boxes we need crises emergencies panics pull yourself together
03:41Bernard yes you must be leaving spaces in his diary no he makes fill them up again well he won't let me
03:47don't ask him do it make sure he spends more time where he can't get under our feet and can't do any
03:53damage where well the house of commons for instance look sir Humphrey I really do try my best there's a
04:00deputation in there at the moment well what is it about there well there's something completely trivial
04:05preserving badgers in Warwickshire well done Bernard why didn't you tell me this when I asked you before
04:15well actually I thought it was rather well trivial a waste of the minister's time I didn't think you
04:20would approve actually but oh well I'll try and find some more threatened species then shall I you
04:29may not have to look very far the private secretaries who can't occupy their ministers are a threatened
04:34species actually but don't you see we have a sacred trust to preserve our natural heritage but that's
04:46exactly what this new legislation is designed to ensure as I said in the house yesterday the system
04:50at the moment simply isn't working it's a hodgepodge and local authorities tourist authorities
04:56national parks countryside commission cpre nobody knows where they are nothing gets done
05:02and they're all backbiting and back passing I mean you know what committees are like
05:06oh we're a committee yes didn't mean your sort of committee but this new legislation is designed to
05:14create clear authority and simple procedures and incidentally save a great deal of public money
05:19you ought to welcome it yes that's all very well but what about hayward spinning well a few very small
05:24areas will have to lose their specially protected status because it simply isn't economical any longer
05:30to maintain them as they ought to be maintained but hayward spinney is a vital part of britain's
05:34heritage i mean the badges have dwelt there for generations oh well now can you be sure of that
05:39it said so in the guardian
05:44actually what it says here is that the bodgers have dealt there for generations
05:50well how would you feel if you were going to have a lot of office blocks built over your garden by a
05:55lot of giant badges but a lot of office blocks are giant badges there's nothing special about man mr
06:02hacker we're not above nature we're all part of it men are animals too you know i know that i've just
06:09come from the house of commons sorry to interrupt you minister but uh you are due for your next
06:14appointment oh what a pity well thank you anyway for putting your case so persuasively it's been a great
06:20pleasure if you go down the corridor turn left at the end and down the stairs but what are you going
06:25to do about it all views will be taken into consideration at the appropriate time uh now if you'll
06:31uh excuse me very polished performance minister gracious emollient and said absolutely nothing very
06:40professional why wasn't i warned uh warned about what minutes why wasn't i won that unifying the
06:44administration of the countryside would mean removing protected status from this beaver
06:48what's a badger colony minister uh haywood spinney east warwickshire somebody must have known about
06:53it surely well if somebody did happen to know minister they wouldn't necessarily know that uh
06:58you wanted to know what what they happen to know uh in in case uh ah sir humphrey good morning
07:06minister humphrey do you see it as part of your job to help ministers make fools of themselves well
07:10i've never met one that needed any help that is of course the last thing well why did you encourage me to
07:17stand up and tell parliament and the press that unifying the administration of the countryside
07:21meant no loss of amenity when apparently i've just signed the death warrant for a whole army of beavers
07:26badges what a beavers would have a navy
07:32why did you let me do it with respect minister i did not encourage you to say that yes you did the
07:36department prepared this no loss of amenity it says no minister not no loss of amenity no significant
07:42loss of i mean well same thing no on the contrary there's all the difference in the world almost
07:46anything can be attacked as a loss of amenity and almost anything can be defended as not a
07:51significant loss of amenity which seems to signify that one should appreciate the significance of
07:55significant yeah well be that as it may any publicity would be very damaging oh i think no minister
08:01but if i said there'd be no loss of amenity then there is a lot perhaps if you'd like to approve this
08:05release minister you would see in fact that it does counter all their arguments it points out that the
08:10spinny is merely deregistered not threatened badgers are very plentiful all over warwickshire
08:17and it points out the connection between badgers and brucellosis cannot be regarded as a significant
08:24loss of amenity at all there so you think this might not get into the national press well a few lines
08:29on the inside page of the guardian but nothing to worry about actually it's only the urban middle class
08:35who worry about the preservation of the countryside because they don't have to live in it
08:41would that be all minister yes no this may well blow over but it doesn't answer my basic question
08:47which was why wasn't i told about it before i made the announcement there are those who have argued and
08:53indeed cogently that on occasion there are some things it is better for a minister not to know
09:01are you talking about minister your answers in the house at the press conference was superb you were
09:07convincing and convinced the critics were silenced but could you have spoken with the same authority
09:13if the ecological pressure group had been a badgering you but i have a right to know i am the people's
09:20representative what right have you got to withhold this information from me it's intolerant it's in your
09:24own best interest minister what do you mean there are something that it's better for a minister not
09:27to know i mean it's outrageous it must not occur again it so happens that i've got a plan here for
09:33the reorganization of this department which will ensure that it doesn't indeed yes indeed now if i
09:38would have one under secretary and two assistant secretaries reporting directly to me minister
09:43please no just a moment humphrey let me tell you my plan the plan is immaterial minister i have
09:49something to say to you which you may not like to hear why should today be any different minister
09:58the traditional allocation of executive responsibilities has always been so determined as
10:04to liberate the ministerial incumbent from the administrative minutiae by devolving the managerial
10:11functions to those whose experience and qualifications have better formed them
10:16for the performance of such humble offices thereby releasing their political overlords
10:22for the more onerous duties and profound deliberations which are the inevitable concomitant
10:27of their exalted position
10:34now whatever made you think i wouldn't want to hear that
10:36well i thought it might upset you how could it i didn't understand a single word
10:43country for god's sake for once in your life put it into plain english if you insist you are not here
10:50to run this department i beg your pardon you are not here to run this department i think i am
10:56the people think i am too with respect minister you are they are wrong and who does run this department
11:04i do i see and what am i supposed to do we've been through all this before make policy get
11:12legislation enacted and above all secure the department's budget in cabinet i sometimes
11:17think that the budget is all you ever really care about well it is rather important minister
11:22if nobody cared about the budget we might end up with the department so small that
11:25even a minister could run it
11:29humphrey are we about to have a fundamental disagreement about the nature of democracy
11:32no minister merely a demarcation dispute what i mean is that the menial chore of running a
11:39department is beneath you your fashion for a nobler calling well i'm quite prepared to leave the
11:46routine paperwork to you but i must insist on direct access to all information never again do i want to
11:51hear that phrase there are some things that is better for a minister not to know is that clear well
11:55minister i do that is an order humphrey as you say minister if that is what you really want
12:02treating cabinet ministers as though they were irresponsible ten-year-olds
12:05good afternoon finish with the guardian daddy yeah sorry i haven't got the socialist worker for you
12:23daddy's pleased to see you down for breakfast aren't you jim he hasn't seen you for a while i was having
12:27a lie-in better than a city in i suppose why were you so late home last night there are some things
12:35it's better for a father not to know oh you start what nothing i was out with the trots
12:43you're going to see a doctor trotskyites oh trotskyite now are you no peter is peter yes peter
13:00oh you've only met him about 15 times oh is he the one with the um from the yes
13:06jim i need your help today oh what with uh shopping at the cash and carry the kitchen plug holes block
13:11the lawn needs mowing darling i've got all these boxes to do it is important make them wait honey
13:16dear it may have escaped your notice but i'm a cabinet minister a member of her majesty's government
13:21it's a fairly important job but you have 23 000 civil servants to help you i haven't
13:27play with your memos later the drains need fixing now oh no see got marmalade all over my cabinet papers
13:34oh god oh lord i've got butter on them get a cloth get it yourself lucy
13:44you're not in white hall now you know yes minister certainly minister just as you say minister please
13:50may i lick your boots for you minister lucy darling that's not fair those civil servants may be always
13:55kowtowing to daddy but they never take any notice of him i'd have you know i've just won a very
14:03significant victory in my department look at all those boxes that's what i mean for a short time you
14:10were getting the better of humphrey now they've done a snow job on you again not at all i asked for all
14:14this why well yesterday in so many words humphrey said there are some things it's better for a minister
14:20not to know which means that he's withholding things from me who knows probably important things
14:25so i have insisted that i am told everything that goes on in my department how did you get
14:30to be a cabinet minister darling you're such a clot don't you see you've played right into humphrey's
14:38hands he must be utterly delighted you've given him an open invitation to swamp you with useless
14:43information i don't think so well what's in that box for instance oh technical reports feasibility
14:49studies past papers of assorted committees stationary requisition
14:57oh damnation you can't win it's catch 22 isn't it i mean either they give you so little information
15:04you don't know the crucial facts or so much you can't find them they've got you going and coming
15:10there's a story about you here daddy i've read it
15:12hacker the badger butcher daddy's read it darling what's all this then a lot of rubbish
15:19it says here hacker admitted that removing protected status from hayward spinney could
15:23mean the end of the badger colony a spokesman for the society for the preservation of british
15:28wildlife said hacker has signed the badgers death warrant one i am not a bodger but a badger
15:35well whatever it is two badgers are not an endangered species three the removal of protected
15:43status does not necessarily mean the badges will all be shot and four if a few badgers have to be
15:48sacrificed for the sake of a master plan that will save britain's natural heritage tough the master plan
15:53mine furor the end justifies the means oh you see darling don't be such it's because the badgers
15:58haven't got votes isn't it eh the badgers have votes you wouldn't be exterminating them no you'd
16:03be up there at hayward spinney shaking paws and kissing cubs ingratiating yourself the way you always
16:09do oh lucy that's not a very nice thing to say it's true isn't it yes but daddy's in politics
16:15he has to be ingratiating thank you very much darling it's got to be stopped too late the decision
16:20has been taken well i'm going to stop it then oh well that should be quite simple get yourself
16:25adopted as a candidate win a general election serve with the distinction on the back benches
16:30become a minister and repeal the act no problem of course the badges might be getting on a bit by then
16:38the assistant secretary is reporting direct to the minister i know who does he think he is a civil
16:43servant the arrogance of these politicians ah bernard thank you yes yes yes
17:05fine right show that last one to the minister if you like bernard that should keep him quiet for a bit
17:14something the matter bernard uh well it's just that uh i've been increasingly worried about
17:20keeping things back from the minister shall i uh what do you mean well why shouldn't he be allowed
17:28to know things if he wants to silly boy bernard this country is governed by ministers making decisions
17:38from the various alternative proposals that we offer them is it not well yes of course
17:44don't you see if they had all the facts they'd see all sorts of other possibilities they might even
17:51formulate their own plans instead of choosing between the two or three that we put up would that
17:56matter would it matter but why well as long as we can formulate our own proposals we can
18:02guide them to the correct decision can we how it's like a conjurer the three card trick you know take
18:14any card then make sure they pick the one that you intend ours is the four word trick there are four
18:21words you have to work into a proposal if you want a minister to accept it quick simple popular cheap
18:28and equally there are four words to be included in a proposal if you want it thrown out complicated
18:35lengthy expensive controversial and if you want to be really sure that the minister doesn't accept it
18:42you must say the decision is courageous and that's worse than controversial
18:48controversial only means this will lose you votes courageous means this will lose you the election
18:52you see if they have all the facts instead of just the options they might start thinking for
19:00themselves and the system works works it's made britain what she is today
19:09yes i see yes so what you're going to do about your man humpy well i've given him plenty to read
19:14shouldn't you look for an opportunity to show him the positive virtues of being kept ignorant well
19:19if he doesn't know that after 20 years as a politician
19:42you look worried about uh yes i just found this letter in one of the minister's boxes what about it
19:47i don't know whether i should open it or not well you know the rules private secretaries shall
19:52open all classifications up to an including top secret only letters mark personal shall remain
19:57unopened unless the minister orders otherwise what about daddy i don't immediately see where your
20:05father comes into this no no no it's addressed to daddy urgent what does it say personal oh no well
20:10what then you know the rules it must be open oh it's from the minister's daughter you astound me
20:23oh trouble at mill
20:29miss hacker intends to join the badger protest oh i thought it was over oh she and her boyfriend are going
20:33to conduct a 24-hour save the badgers vigil in hayward spinney unless protection order is restored
20:39and they're putting their announcement out to the press at 5 pm minister's daughter in badger
20:44protest vigil that's a little embarrassing but it's not too serious sir humphrey i think the
20:50minister is going to be more than a little embarrassed what do you mean minister's daughter
20:54in new to badger protest what uh yes miss hacker and her boyfriend will be uh but that is will not
21:01not be i mean yes do you mean starkers bernard yes sir i see well this puts a different complexion
21:08on it yeah especially in this weather but in true journalistic terms this makes it a big story front
21:18page with photograph well what shall we say a slight embarrassment minister how slight well without
21:36wishing in any sense to overstate the case or cause undue alarm nevertheless the fact
21:43come on humphrey out with it minister i have a confession to make oh that's a change
21:49oh come on humphrey make a clean breast of it not the happiest of phrases
21:56how do you mean i have to confess that the badgers and hayward spinney may turn out to be a somewhat
22:02bigger story than we thought no don't tell me they're going to have kittens no that's not the badgers
22:08who are going to have kittens minister there's going to be a 24-hour protest vigil in hayward
22:14spinney well you tell me it wouldn't be very newsworthy no it's a slightly different minister
22:18it's to be conducted by by a girl student and her boyfriend just the two of them yes they don't
22:28matter do they pair of irresponsible thereabouts well they might matter to some nonsense bernard
22:33everybody's fell up with these ghastly students they're just exhibitionists you know well in this case
22:37it would seem they have something to exhibit it's to be a nude protest vigil i see yes that would
22:44make the front pages yes quite so well the press just mustn't find out oh really i don't know what
22:51gets into these students it's appalling they're shameless indeed minister it's their parents you know
22:59they don't bring them up properly just let them run wild and then feed them all this trendy
23:03middle-class anti-establishment nonsense well oh perhaps it isn't entirely the parents fault
23:08minister of course it is authority humphrey all this student anarchy is a shocking indictment of
23:14their parents lack of authority and discipline so they just take it out on innocent people like me
23:22who are they do we know well we know the young lady's name lady who is she well it seems she's a miss
23:29hacker oh my god oh my god as you see she will be telephoning in ten minutes time
23:51perhaps the press won't be all that interested no no but will they really think it worthwhile going
24:00all the way up to warwickshire for a story like this i fear they'll think it worth going all the
24:05way to the south pole this story must be killed advise me humphrey well minister what about a little
24:11parental authority and disability you can make her listen to reason minister she's a sociology student
24:17bernard well perhaps mrs hacker could lock her in her room and is out at work what about the police
24:27minister sets police on new daughter i'm not sure that completely kills the story minister must be
24:32something we can do perhaps if i were to look at the files minister oh my daughter's about to get
24:38us up on page one of the sun probably page three as well all you can do is think of the files nevertheless
24:43oh they're all out there sir wonder what angle they'll take oh wide angle i should think
24:51just see the fun the opposition will have with this does the proud father wish to make a statement
24:57is the hacker family getting too much exposure is the minister trying to conduct a cover-up does the
25:02minister run his department any better than he runs his family i suppose you'd like me to tell them
25:06that humphrey runs it well no minister of course not i'm your private secretary do you mean to tell
25:12me that when the chips are down you're on my side not humphrey's minister it's my job to see the chips stay up
25:18hello can i speak to mr hacker please it's his daughter it's for you minister
25:32lucy hello darling hello daddy got your little note you know you had me fooled for a moment
25:36i thought it was serious it is serious it's deadly serious pete and i are just going to an exchange
25:42telegraph from the press association then we're off to the spinney oh darling don't do that i mean
25:47think of the damage damage what damage well to me to you isn't that typical what about damage to
25:53badgers it's not you who's going to be exterminated is it well in a sense yes okay then you know what
26:00to do ten nine lucy don't eight if i could have a word just young lady humphrey appleby wants a word
26:10with you a new development a new development a new development miss hacker ah how do you do
26:21it's mr hacker's permanent secretary five and holding if i could just have a word young lady
26:26now i've just come across the latest report from the government's own wildlife inspectors
26:31which throws new light on the issue why well apparently there is no badger colony in haywood
26:37spinning now it says here um last evidence of badger habitation droppings freshly turned earth etc
26:44was recorded 11 years ago but the paper said that ah yes well apparently the story was fed to them
26:50by a local property developer property developer you see apparently the council has plans to use the
26:56spinney for a new college of further education and the property developer wants to use for offices
27:01and luxury flats but well if it's protected he won't be able to and nor will the council and he
27:08knows that if they can't they'll use the money for something else then he can move in 12 months time
27:13establish that there's no badger colony get the protection order removed and build his offices
27:19it's quite common practice so you mean there isn't any actual wildlife in the spinney at all
27:25well there is some apparently it's been used as a rubbish dump by people from uh wooden wall and
27:32so they're quite a lot of rats rats yes several thousand actually mind you they're wildlife too in
27:39their way aren't they still it would be a pity to play into the developers hands wouldn't it yes i suppose
27:46it would yes but may i say how very much i respect your views and your commitment would you like to
27:51speak to the minister again no that's all right oh well forget it then
27:59humphrey i take it all back it was nothing minister it was all in the files a property developer
28:07they're cunning devils here let me have a look at the file oh i don't think you'd find them very
28:13interesting let me have a look at no i quite honestly don't think humphrey it was true wasn't it
28:24humphrey was there one word of truth in that whole story that you told lucy minister do you really want
28:31me to answer that question no i don't think i do quite so perhaps there are some things it is better for
28:42for a minister not to know
28:55so
29:03so
Recommended
29:32
|
Up next
31:09
29:32
31:16
28:18
31:10
29:41
31:40
30:08
29:33
30:03
59:00
53:14
46:21
46:04
25:36
22:30
46:03
42:56
28:30
29:29
29:01
27:41
1:24:06
Be the first to comment