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Tv, Yes Minister - S02E07 - A Question of Loyalty
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00:43So you let me have your redraft on establishment levels by Thursday, will you, Peter?
00:48You need it that early?
00:52No, I don't need it that early.
00:54But the minister has to read it before he faces the select committee.
00:57And what makes it harder, he has to remember it.
01:01And what makes it harder still, he has to understand it.
01:05Mr. Peter, was it you that wrote the minister's Washington speech?
01:09Yes, Sir Humphrey.
01:11Splendid. Well done. Couldn't have been better.
01:13Thank you, Sir Humphrey.
01:14The minister's in his office now, Sir Humphrey.
01:17Good, right? Well, thank you all.
01:19Thank you, Sir Humphrey.
01:19Well, Bernard, how have you enjoyed having your minister out of the office for a week?
01:23Oh, not very much.
01:24Haven't you?
01:25Yeah, it makes things very difficult.
01:27Oh, Bernard.
01:29A minister's absence is a godsend.
01:32You could do the job properly for once.
01:35No silly questions, no bright ideas, no fussing about what the papers are saying.
01:40Do you know, Bernard, I sometimes think our minister doesn't believe that he exists unless he's reading about himself in the papers.
01:47I'll bet you the first thing he says when he gets into the office is, any press reports on my Washington speech?
01:52How much do you bet?
01:53A pound.
01:54Done.
01:55He won't because he's already asked.
01:59In the car on the way back from Heathrow.
02:03You're learning, Bernard.
02:04Sir, thank you.
02:05So you see why our minister's absence is a good thing?
02:09Oh, yes, but so much work piles up.
02:11Splendid.
02:12There we are.
02:13What, with a couple of days' briefing before he goes, and the debriefing and backlog when he gets back,
02:18we can keep him out of the department's hair for a fortnight.
02:21Then for the next six months, whenever he complains about not being informed about something,
02:25we can tell him he came up while he was away.
02:27Is this why we're having so many, uh, summit conferences?
02:29Well, of course.
02:30That's the only way the country works.
02:33Concentrate all the power at number 10.
02:34Then send the PM away to the EEC summits, NATO summits, Commonwealth summits, anywhere.
02:41Then the Cabinet Secretary can get on with running the country properly.
02:45Anyway, we ought to be seeing him now.
02:47Bernard, what do you think of the minister's Washington speech that Peter wrote?
02:51British government administration is a model of loyalty, integrity, and efficiency.
02:56There's a ruthless war on waste where cutting bureaucracy to the bone,
03:00a lesson Britain could teach the world.
03:02But is it true?
03:02Can we prove it?
03:03Oh, Bernard, a good speech isn't one where we can prove the minister is telling the truth.
03:08It's one in which nobody else can prove that he's lying.
03:11Oh, yes.
03:12But, uh, even so, I, uh...
03:15Yeah?
03:15Well, I'm sure Peter did a frightfully good job on it and everything,
03:18but I just, uh, wondered whether perhaps it might have been a bit boring for the audience.
03:22Well, of course it was boring.
03:28Bored the pants off them.
03:30Ghastly to have to sit through it, I should think.
03:33Well, well, then, I mean, if it's...
03:34Well, minister's speeches aren't written for the audience they're speaking to, Bernard.
03:37Aren't they?
03:39Delivering a speech is just a formality you have to go through
03:42in order to get the press release into the papers.
03:44We can't worry about entertaining people.
03:46We're not script writers for a comedian.
03:48Well, not a professional one, anyway.
03:50No, the point is that the speech said the right things.
03:55But why does it have to be said in public?
03:57Well, it's vital.
03:59Once the speech is printed,
04:01the minister's committed to defending us in front of select committees and things.
04:04Well, he defends us anyway.
04:06Well, only to a point, Bernard.
04:09Once something goes wrong,
04:11the minister's first instinct is to rat on his department.
04:15So, we write him a speech that makes him nail his trousers to the mast.
04:20Oh, you mean nail his colours to the mast?
04:22No, nail his trousers to the mast.
04:24Then he can't climb down.
04:25Come on.
04:31Welcome home, minister.
04:34Bernard, didn't you say there were some press cuttings of my Washington speech somewhere?
04:37Yes, yes, I put them in the box, sir.
04:41Oh!
04:52Minister, you do realise the importance of tomorrow's select committee hearing, don't you?
04:57Indeed, I do.
04:58The press will be there.
04:59Well, it's not just a question of the press, minister.
05:02It is a scrutiny of this department's future operation.
05:05Now, if it were to emerge from the hearing that we were extravagant or incompetent...
05:09Are we extravagant or incompetent?
05:11Well, no, of course not.
05:12But there are hostile members on the committee,
05:15especially the one for Derbyshire East.
05:17Oh, no.
05:17Betty Oldham won't be there, will she?
05:18Yes, alas.
05:20So, I do urge you to master this brief, minister.
05:23And do please ask me if you have any problems.
05:25Another brief on the select committee?
05:27Haven't you just mastered one on the plane coming back?
05:29Oh, really?
05:30What was in it?
05:32Um...
05:32It's so difficult to concentrate on a plane,
05:37they keep trying to serve you drinks and show you movies.
05:40And wake you up.
05:42Yes.
05:43Of course, minister.
05:44It must be frightfully difficult to concentrate if you keep being woken up.
05:48No, seriously.
05:49This is the first and only brief containing possible questions from the committee
05:54with the appropriate answers,
05:56all carefully presented to give the department's position.
05:58Is it absolutely accurate?
06:00They are all carefully presented to give the department's position.
06:03You said to yourself how important these select committees are.
06:06I cannot be seen to mislead them.
06:08You will not be seen to mislead them.
06:11Is it the truth?
06:12The truth and nothing but the truth.
06:14The whole truth?
06:14Of course not.
06:15So, we're going to tell them that we keep secrets, are we?
06:18Indeed not.
06:19Oh, why not?
06:21He that would keep a secret must keep it secret that he hath a secret to keep.
06:33Who said that?
06:35Er, it was Sir Humphrey.
06:39Who said it originally?
06:41Oh, uh, Francis Bacon, wasn't it?
06:44Oh, yes.
06:45Why is it that Ministers can't ever go anywhere without their briefs?
06:48It's in case they get caught with their trousers down.
06:56I'm very drow, Bernard.
06:58Now, are we going to be interrupted?
07:00I've kept your diary empty for the rest of the day, Minister.
07:02Good.
07:03Now then, remind me what was in that submission that I read on the plane.
07:05Well, it's more or less a rehash of the report the department produced last year.
07:09And the other form?
07:09Er, yes, Minister.
07:10And the year before that?
07:11Yes, ever since 1867.
07:14And a few appropriate alterations, of course.
07:16Shall we go through it point by point?
07:17Do we have to?
07:18I'm still half jet-lagged.
07:19Well, it's up to you, Minister.
07:20But all the press will be there tomorrow.
07:22Right, let's get down.
07:25The fact is, Mr Chairman, that the Department of Administrative Affairs
07:28is run to a high standard of efficiency
07:31and does indeed support and service the administrative work
07:36of all the other government departments,
07:38as we've said in our submission to this committee.
07:40Thank you, Minister.
07:42Questions?
07:43Mrs Oldham?
07:44Thank you, Mr Chairman.
07:46Minister, have you ever heard of Malcolm Rhodes?
07:50Er, no.
07:51I see.
07:52Well, Malcolm Rhodes was an assistant secretary in the DAA
07:56until he resigned last year.
07:59There are 23,000 people in the DAA.
08:01Quite.
08:02But he resigned, or was eased out,
08:05became a management consultant in America
08:07and has just written a book,
08:09of which this is an advance proof,
08:11in which he makes a number of astounding allegations
08:13of waste of public money in the British civil service,
08:16particularly in your department.
08:19Er, could I have a quick word with my officials, Mr Chairman?
08:22Yes, we do.
08:24Do we know anything about this?
08:25I didn't know Rhodes had written a book.
08:26Oh, my God.
08:27Do you know Rhodes?
08:28Yes.
08:28Who is he?
08:29He's a troublemaker, Minister.
08:30He's not sound.
08:30What does he say in the book?
08:31I don't know.
08:33What do I do, then?
08:34Stall.
08:34Stall.
08:34What do you mean, stall?
08:35Stall?
08:37Stall meaning avoiding aunts.
08:38Yes, I know what stall means.
08:41I'd like to know what you mean by sending me out into a typhoon
08:43without so much as an umbrella.
08:44An umbrella's no use in a typhoon.
08:45I mean, the wind will get undefeated.
08:46Oh, shush.
08:49Er, have you had sufficient consultation with your officials now, Minister?
08:53Er, I...
08:54Well, let me read you some of the scandalous facts that Mr Rhodes reveals.
08:59For instance, and I quote,
09:01At No. 4 Regional Supply Depot in Herefordshire,
09:04there are two former aircraft hangers used only for stores,
09:08but which are centrally heated to 70 degrees Fahrenheit day and night.
09:13What have you got to say about that?
09:14I can't possibly answer a question of that detail, Mr Chairman,
09:17without prior notice.
09:18It might not even be true.
09:19It is.
09:19I had it checked last week.
09:21What I'm asking is what conceivable reason there can be
09:24for such appalling extravagance.
09:26Well, some materials deteriorate at low temperatures.
09:29It would depend what's stored there.
09:31Copper wire.
09:34Yes, well, er,
09:35copper wire, er,
09:37it can corrode, of course, in damp conditions, can't it?
09:41It's plastic-coated.
09:43Plastic-coated.
09:44Yes, er, well, I, er...
09:47Yeah, plastic-coated.
09:48Er, well, I'll certainly have it looked into.
09:50He also says that your department
09:53consists on ordering all pens, pencils, paperclips, and so on centrally,
09:57and then distributing them against departmental requisitions.
10:01Well, that seems to be quite sensible.
10:02I mean, you can make great savings through bulk purchase.
10:05And he demonstrates that this procedure
10:07is four times more expensive
10:09than if local officers went out
10:11and bought what they wanted in the high street.
10:12That's very interesting.
10:17If this is true, of course, we shall change the system.
10:19We're not just a rigid bureaucracy, you know.
10:21He said he gave these figures
10:23and proposed this change
10:24when he was in your department
10:26and that it was turned down on grounds
10:28that people were used to the existing procedure.
10:31How's that for rigid bureaucracy?
10:34Well, I'll have it looked into.
10:37Looked into?
10:38Looked into, yes.
10:39You did say in your Washington speech,
10:42last week,
10:43that your department conducted
10:45a ruthless war on waste
10:47and could teach the world a lesson.
10:49How would you reconcile that
10:51with spending £75,000 on a roof garden
10:54on top of the Supplementary Benefits Office in Kettering?
11:00Well, I...
11:01Have it looked into?
11:02Yes.
11:04Yes, well, I will.
11:05I think, Chairman,
11:06the Permanent Secretary of the DAA
11:08is due to appear before us next week.
11:10Would he not be the appropriate person
11:13to answer these questions?
11:15Could you see...
11:15Could you see that Sir Humphrey is notified?
11:19Perhaps we might let him see the allegations.
11:22New allegations of government waste?
11:25Some big questions to answer.
11:26Minister, you've placed me in a very difficult position.
11:28Well, what about the position you've placed me in?
11:31There's the PM demanding economies
11:32left, right and centre
11:33and I'm made to look as though
11:34I've been wasting all the money
11:35that everyone else has been saving.
11:36Oh, Minister,
11:37nobody else has been saving anything.
11:38You ought to know that by now.
11:40Yes, but they all look as though they have.
11:42Well, couldn't you have stalled
11:43a bit more effectively?
11:45Stalled?
11:45What do you mean stalled?
11:46Well, blurred things a bit.
11:48You're normally so good at blurring the issue.
11:50I'm glad.
11:51You have a considerable talent
11:53for making things unintelligible, Minister.
11:55I beg your pardon.
11:56No, no, I mean that as a compliment,
11:58I assure you.
11:59Blurring the issue
12:00is one of the basic ministerial skills.
12:02Hmm.
12:03What are the others?
12:05Delaying decisions,
12:06dodging questions,
12:07juggling figures,
12:09bending facts
12:09and concealing errors.
12:11Well, what was I expected to do?
12:13Well, couldn't you have made it look
12:14as though you were going to do something
12:15and then done nothing?
12:17Like you usually do.
12:19But, Humphrey,
12:20if these revelations are true...
12:21Oh, exactly, Minister.
12:23If you could, for instance,
12:25have discussed the nature of truth.
12:26The committee isn't the least bit interested
12:28in the nature of truth.
12:29They're all MPs.
12:31Well, you could have said
12:34it was a security matter.
12:35How can HB Pencils be a security matter?
12:39Depends what you write with them.
12:41What on earth are we doing
12:42building roof gardens
12:43on top of offices?
12:44Well, you see,
12:45we took over the office design
12:46from an American company
12:47that was going to occupy it
12:48and it just so happens
12:50that nobody noticed
12:52the roof gardens on the plan.
12:53Oh, God.
12:56It's a tiny mistake,
12:57the sort that anyone could make.
12:59Tiny mistake, £75,000.
13:01Give me an example of a big mistake.
13:03Letting people find out about it.
13:07Why are we heating sheds full of wire?
13:10You want the truth?
13:11Well, if you're sure,
13:12it wouldn't be too much trouble.
13:13The staff are using the sheds
13:14for growing mushrooms.
13:18Don't stop them.
13:20They've been doing it since 1945.
13:23It's almost the only perk
13:24in an extremely boring job.
13:26What about Rhodes' proposals
13:27for buying stationery?
13:29Why didn't we accept them?
13:30Yes, the man was a troublemaker
13:31and a crank.
13:32He had an unhealthy obsession
13:33with efficiency and economy.
13:35But why didn't we adopt
13:36his proposals?
13:37It would have saved
13:37millions of pounds.
13:38Yes, but it would have meant
13:40a lot of work to implement it.
13:41So?
13:42Taking on a lot more staff.
13:43Oh, Humphrey.
13:44Well, disprove it.
13:46I can't, obviously.
13:47Exactly.
13:48You're making it up, aren't you?
13:50Of course.
13:50Why?
13:51As an example
13:53of how to handle
13:54a select committee.
13:59This is all very well,
14:00Sir Humphrey,
14:01but let's get down to details.
14:02This heated aircraft hangar,
14:04for example.
14:05Oh, yes, indeed.
14:06I do understand
14:07the committee's concern,
14:08but you see,
14:08it does get frightfully cold
14:10in Herefordshire in winter.
14:11And I'm afraid
14:12even civil servants
14:13can't work.
14:13We aren't talking
14:14about civil servants.
14:15We are talking
14:16about coils of wire
14:17with plastic coats
14:18to keep them warm.
14:20Oh, well, you see,
14:21there was a lot of staff
14:22going in and out
14:22all the time.
14:23Why?
14:24Well, taking deliveries,
14:26making withdrawals,
14:27checking records,
14:29fire inspection,
14:30stock taking,
14:31and auditing.
14:31Well, they could wear gloves,
14:32can't they?
14:33Well, they could,
14:33but you see,
14:34it is a staff welfare policy.
14:37Well, I suggest
14:37this policy is costing
14:39the taxpayer
14:39millions of pounds.
14:41Nothing to say,
14:44Sir Humphrey.
14:45Well, it's not for me
14:45to comment on government policy.
14:46You must ask the minister.
14:47But you advise the minister.
14:49Well, I'm sure
14:50the chairman will agree.
14:51I cannot disclose
14:52how I advise the minister.
14:53The minister is responsible
14:54for policy.
14:55All right.
14:57So we'll ask the minister.
15:00What about
15:00stationary requisition savings?
15:03Well, that would have involved
15:04placing very considerable
15:05government patronage
15:06in the hands of junior staff.
15:09Considerable government patronage?
15:11Buying a packet
15:12of paperclips.
15:13Well, it's government policy
15:15to exercise strict control
15:16over the number of people
15:17allowed to spend its money,
15:18and I'm sure you'll agree
15:19that's right and proper.
15:21But it's plain common sense
15:22to allow people
15:23to buy their own paperclips.
15:25Government policy
15:25has nothing to do
15:26with common sense.
15:31Then don't you think
15:32it's time the policy
15:33was changed?
15:35Well, Sir Humphrey...
15:37It's not for me
15:37to comment on government policy.
15:39You must ask the minister.
15:39The minister advises us
15:42to ask you.
15:43And I'm advising you
15:44to ask the minister.
15:46When does this end?
15:47Soon as you like.
15:50Well, let's come
15:51to the roof garden.
15:53Yes, with pleasure.
15:54This was a part of a wide variety
15:59of roof insulation schemes,
16:02which the government
16:03was testing
16:04in the interest
16:04of fuel economy.
16:06But £75,000!
16:09Well, it was thought
16:10that the sale
16:11of flowers
16:11and vegetable produce
16:12might offset the cost.
16:13And did it?
16:16No.
16:17Then why not
16:18abandon the garden?
16:19Well, it's there now
16:21and it does insulate
16:22the roof
16:23and we aren't building
16:23any more.
16:25But you've wasted
16:26£75,000!
16:28Well, it was government
16:28policy to test
16:29all proposals
16:30for fuel saving.
16:31At this fantastic waste
16:33of the taxpayers' money,
16:34you agree
16:34the money was wasted?
16:36It's not for me
16:37to comment on government
16:38policy.
16:38Look, Sir Humphrey,
16:41whatever we ask
16:42the minister,
16:43he says is an
16:44administrative question
16:45for you.
16:46And whatever we ask you,
16:47you say is a policy
16:48question for the minister.
16:50How do you suggest
16:51we find out
16:51what's going on?
16:52Yes, yes, yes, yes.
16:53I do see that there
16:54is a real dilemma here.
16:56In that,
16:56while it has been
16:57government policy
16:58to regard policy
16:59as the responsibility
17:00of ministers
17:00and administration
17:01as the responsibility
17:02of officials,
17:04the questions
17:04of administrative policy
17:06can cause confusion
17:07between the policy
17:08of administration
17:09and the administration
17:09of policy.
17:11Especially when
17:12responsibility
17:13for the administration
17:14of the policy
17:15of administration
17:16conflicts or overlaps
17:18with responsibility
17:19for the policy
17:20of the administration
17:20of policy.
17:25Well, that's a load
17:26of meaningless dribble,
17:27isn't it?
17:31It's not for me
17:31to comment on government
17:32policy as asked
17:33the minister.
17:35That was a great
17:36help, Humphrey.
17:37Oh, thank you,
17:38minister.
17:38I did my best.
17:39You did your best
17:39for yourself, perhaps.
17:41But your answer
17:42solves nothing.
17:43I mean, don't forget
17:44that the day after tomorrow
17:45we shall both be there
17:46side by side
17:47getting the third degree
17:48from that committee.
17:49And we've got to have
17:50the right answers,
17:51the same answers.
17:52Well, we must establish
17:53what our position is.
17:54Good.
17:54Now, what are the facts?
17:55I'm discussing our position.
17:56The facts are neither here
17:57nor there.
17:58See, all right.
17:59Well, what's our position?
18:00Well, we must just choose
18:01one of the five standard excuses
18:03to deal with each one
18:05of their allegations,
18:06a different one for each,
18:07if possible.
18:08Five standard excuses.
18:09Yeah.
18:10First, there's the excuse
18:11we used, for instance,
18:12in the Antony Blunt case.
18:14Yes, but your answer?
18:15That there's a perfectly
18:16satisfactory explanation
18:17for everything,
18:18but security forbids
18:19its disclosure.
18:21Second, there's the excuse
18:23we used for comprehensive schools,
18:25that it only went wrong
18:26because of heavy cuts
18:26in staff and budget,
18:27which stretched supervisory resources
18:29beyond their limits.
18:30But that's not true, is it?
18:31No, it's a good excuse.
18:34Then there's the excuse
18:35we used for Concord.
18:36It was a worthwhile experiment,
18:38now abandoned,
18:39but not before it had provided
18:41much valuable data
18:42and considerable employment.
18:44But that is true, isn't it?
18:47Oh, no, of course it isn't.
18:49Before, there's the excuse
18:51we used for the Munich Agreement.
18:54It occurred before
18:54certain important facts
18:56were known
18:56and couldn't happen again.
18:58What important facts?
18:59Well, that Hitler
19:01wanted to conquer Europe.
19:04I thought everybody knew that.
19:06Not the Foreign Office.
19:09Five?
19:10Five.
19:11There's the charge
19:12of the Light Brigade excuse.
19:14It was an unfortunate lapse
19:15by an individual
19:16which has now been dealt with
19:17under internal
19:19disciplinary procedures.
19:21And that covers everything?
19:23Well, just about everything
19:24so far.
19:25Even wars?
19:26Yeah, small wars.
19:27Right.
19:30So it's real teamwork
19:31from now on, Humphrey.
19:32United we stand,
19:33divided we fall, Minister.
19:34Good.
19:34Where do we start?
19:35Sir, Mr. Rapp, Minister,
19:36you're due at the House
19:36in ten minutes
19:37and the Prime Minister's
19:38special advisor
19:39wants to know
19:39if you could pop in
19:40your number ten
19:40for a drink sometime today.
19:42Sir Mark Spencer.
19:43Mark Spencer?
19:44Yes, I suggested 5.30.
19:46Oh, fine.
19:46Fine, yes.
19:47Oh, dear.
19:48I knew there'd be trouble.
19:49Now the PM's getting interested
19:50in why our replies
19:51to the committee
19:51have been so feeble.
19:52This is all I needed.
19:53Well, perhaps it is just
19:54for a drink, Minister.
19:55Oh, don't be silly, Humphrey.
19:56They don't ask you
19:57to number ten for a drink
19:57just because they think
19:58you're thirsty.
20:00Look,
20:01I'll meet you back here
20:02at 6.30.
20:03Right.
20:04And we'll cook up a story.
20:06Agree our position, Minister.
20:08That's what I said.
20:09LAUGHTER
20:15Come in.
20:39Hello, Jim.
20:41Scotch.
20:43Thanks.
20:43How are things going?
20:46Oh, fine, fine.
20:47About that select committee.
20:49Well,
20:50it was a bit of a shock
20:50having that book thrown
20:51out of the blue like that,
20:52but everything's under control.
20:54I'm seeing Humphrey Appleby
20:55this evening.
20:55We'll think up
20:56some sort of explanation.
20:57Nothing for the PM
20:58to worry about.
20:59I'd like to know
21:00where Malcolm Rhodes
21:01got all his information from.
21:02Most of it seems to have
21:03come right outside his division,
21:04and I'd like to know
21:05who fed those proofs
21:06to Betty Oldham.
21:07The PM must be livid.
21:08But it's no fault of mine.
21:11What makes you think
21:12the PM is livid?
21:13Well, surely.
21:15Let's try and look
21:16at the situation logically,
21:17shall we, Jim?
21:18Sit down.
21:19Yes, of course.
21:22Let me ask you some questions.
21:24What is the PM
21:25trying to achieve
21:26in public expenditure?
21:28Well, cuts, obviously.
21:30Why has there been
21:30so little success?
21:32Obstruction from
21:33the civil service?
21:34Are all the Cabinet
21:35committed to this policy
21:36of cutting public expenditure?
21:38I think so.
21:38I certainly am.
21:40If that is so,
21:40I have virtually no ministers
21:42achieved any real cuts.
21:43Well, Rome wasn't built
21:45in a day, you know.
21:46No.
21:48It's because all the ministers
21:49have gone native.
21:51Oh, I don't think so.
21:52The civil service
21:53has house-trained them
21:54to a man.
21:55Well, it may be true.
21:56One or two.
21:57It certainly isn't true of me.
21:58If a minister were really
21:59trying to cut expenditure,
22:02how would he react
22:03to a book exposing
22:04massive government waste?
22:05Well, I just think he'd...
22:07Hmm?
22:10Well, it would depend...
22:13What are you trying to say?
22:16Do you know what the
22:16civil service is saying
22:17about you?
22:18No.
22:19And that you're a pleasure
22:19to work with?
22:21Oh.
22:25That's what Barbara Woodhouse
22:26says about her
22:27prize-winning spaniels.
22:30I've even heard
22:31Sir Humphrey Appleby
22:31say of you
22:32that you're worth
22:32your weight in gold.
22:33Now, what does that
22:34suggest to you?
22:36That I've failed.
22:37Utterly.
22:39You look as if
22:40you need another scotch.
22:43No, the PM
22:44isn't pleased
22:45because
22:46of my performance,
22:48I suppose,
22:48at the select committee
22:49because I've failed
22:50even to cover up
22:50the failure.
22:51On the contrary.
22:53The PM is not pleased
22:54because you're
22:54covering up too well.
22:56What?
22:56Oh, don't you see?
22:57You're protecting
22:57the civil service.
22:58You're protecting
22:59Humphrey Appleby.
23:00The PM and I
23:01are doing our level
23:03best to expose
23:04why cuts in
23:05government expenditure
23:06are not taking place
23:08and you are helping
23:09the civil service
23:10to defy the government.
23:13Am I?
23:13Now,
23:14you were wondering
23:16where Betty Oldham
23:17got the advanced proofs
23:18of that book
23:18and where Malcolm Rhodes
23:19got that inside information.
23:22Can't you guess?
23:25I mean,
23:25the PM?
23:28Of course not.
23:32Not directly.
23:36You?
23:39Well,
23:40what am I supposed to do
23:41at the select committee,
23:42then?
23:43There's only one course
23:44open to you.
23:45Absolute loyalty.
23:49Who to?
23:50That's your decision.
23:58Actually,
23:59it was an error
24:00which occurred
24:00before certain
24:01important facts
24:02were known.
24:03And I can assure you
24:04it is an oversight
24:05that couldn't possibly
24:06happen again.
24:08Wouldn't you agree,
24:09Minister?
24:09Sir Humphrey's reply
24:10is perfectly correct.
24:12The correct
24:13official reply,
24:15but I have been
24:16thinking very deeply
24:17over the last few days
24:19since the last day
24:19and there's no doubt
24:21in my mind
24:21that this committee
24:22is on to something.
24:25Of course there's
24:26and of course
24:29excuses can always
24:30be found
24:30in individual cases.
24:32But you have convinced
24:33me that our whole
24:34approach is wrong.
24:35Ministers
24:36and their civil servants
24:37so often cover up
24:39and defend
24:39where they should
24:41seek out
24:42and destroy.
24:44I have spoken
24:49to Mr Malcolm Rhodes,
24:50the author of this
24:50invaluable book,
24:52and he has agreed
24:52to head an independent
24:53outside inquiry
24:54into the whole field
24:55of government administration
24:57starting with
24:58my department.
24:59And how does
25:01Sir Humphrey react
25:02to this?
25:04Oh, Sir Humphrey
25:04is in complete
25:05agreement with me.
25:07We work as a team,
25:08don't we, Humphrey?
25:10If I may say so,
25:11he is a pleasure
25:12to work with.
25:13But Minister,
25:14this account
25:15of what's been
25:16going on
25:17doesn't square
25:18with what you were
25:18saying in your
25:19Washington speech
25:20about a ruthless
25:21war on waste.
25:22Well, I'm an
25:23old-fashioned
25:24sort of chap,
25:25Betty.
25:27Can I believe
25:28in a thing
25:29called loyalty?
25:31Whatever you say
25:31about your chaps
25:32in private,
25:33you defend them
25:34in public,
25:35isn't that so,
25:35Humphrey?
25:36In that case,
25:37aren't you being
25:38rather disloyal
25:39to them now?
25:40No, I believe
25:42that a minister
25:43has a higher
25:43loyalty,
25:45a loyalty to
25:45Parliament,
25:46a loyalty to
25:47the nation,
25:48and that loyalty
25:49must be paramount.
25:52However hard,
25:53however painful
25:54that may be,
25:54well, of course,
25:55one is loyal to
25:56one's department
25:57and to one's
25:57officials,
25:58until the evidence
25:59is overwhelming,
26:00but I must now
26:00say in public
26:01what I've long
26:02said in private,
26:03that reforms
26:03can and will
26:05take place,
26:06and I know
26:06that in this
26:07I shall find
26:07Sir Humphrey,
26:08my staunchest ally.
26:12Isn't that Sir Humphrey?
26:14Yes, Minister.
26:16Yes, Minister.
26:18That was a big help,
26:19Minister.
26:20Well, I did my best.
26:21You did your best
26:22for yourself,
26:22so this is your idea
26:23of teamwork,
26:24is it?
26:24Oh, most amusing.
26:25Well, I had to do it.
26:26You had to do what?
26:29Cravenly admit
26:30everything to that committee.
26:31Don't you realise
26:32how calamitous
26:33this has been for us?
26:34Well, not both of us.
26:35I hope.
26:36You hope in vain, Minister.
26:38The department
26:39is up in arms.
26:40They'll have very little
26:41confidence in you
26:41in the future,
26:42and as for number 10,
26:43well, I shudder to think
26:45how the PM will react
26:46to your public admission
26:48of failure.
26:49A personal letter
26:50from the Prime Minister.
26:54I did warn you, Minister.
26:57Bernard,
26:58perhaps you should
26:59give some thought
27:00to drafting
27:01a face-saving
27:02letter of resignation,
27:03the Minister.
27:06Dear Jim,
27:08dear Jim,
27:10we haven't seen
27:13enough of each other
27:14lately.
27:15Would you be free
27:16to come to lunch
27:17at Chequers on Sunday?
27:19We shall just be
27:20the family.
27:21Do please bring
27:22Annie and Lucy.
27:23I look forward
27:23so much to seeing you.
27:25I don't think I...
27:27it's paid off.
27:29It has paid off.
27:31A conspiracy.
27:33That drink with
27:34Mark Spencer.
27:35We haven't seen
27:35enough of each other.
27:36Lunch at Chequers,
27:37just the phone.
27:38And look,
27:38it's handwritten.
27:40Do you realise, Humphrey,
27:41how much this is worth?
27:42I believe the going rate
27:43is 30 pieces of silver,
27:45I'm going to say.
27:45No, Humphrey.
27:48Loyalty and integrity
27:49have received
27:50their just reward.
27:52Loyalty?
27:53I have backed you up,
27:54Humphrey,
27:55in just the same way
27:56that you have always
27:57backed me up.
27:58Isn't that so?
28:01I'm sorry?
28:03Did you say something?
28:04Uh,
28:05I think he said yes,
28:06Minister.
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