- 3 months ago
Donna invites Micheal and Jackie to the Pictures despite Eric not wanting them to join. Torbjorn's parents worry about the influence that his music is having on him.
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TVTranscript
00:00Do you know what this is?
00:03A woman's magazine.
00:05It's Cosmopolitan.
00:07Oh, dear.
00:09I need to tell you, Ron.
00:10I've just done their How Spontaneous Is Your Relationship quiz,
00:14and you know what?
00:15What?
00:16We scored three out of ten, and I cheated.
00:30I couldn't help but notice that you're pouting.
00:35I'm not pouting.
00:37That would upset our nice routine.
00:39And God knows I wouldn't want to move in a new direction
00:42or accidentally slip in a big puddle of fun or anything.
00:47All right.
00:48How about we go out for a night on the town tonight,
00:51just the two of us?
00:53Oh, Ron, that would be great.
00:55We'd gather Rose and Crown for dinner.
01:00The Rose and Crown?
01:01Yeah.
01:03You'll have the mixed grill,
01:04and I'll have the chicken in the basket.
01:06Again.
01:08I may not have the mixed grill.
01:10I enjoy their scampi.
01:12Oh, scampi.
01:14Well, I can change one of the answers on the quiz.
01:17Oh, look, we've got four out of ten.
01:19We've moved up from humdrum to predictable as the tides.
01:25I'll go and get ready.
01:26Bloody Cosmopolitan.
01:33Four.
01:34Days like this, I feel like I could change the world.
01:51Days like this, I feel like I could change the world.
01:56Ooh, on a day like this.
01:59This Cod War is getting serious, you know.
02:08They've attacked a trawler.
02:10Man, if we can't even beat the Cod now,
02:12that's pretty pathetic.
02:14Well, we're not fighting the Cod.
02:16Yeah, we pretty much outwitted them
02:18when we came up with the net.
02:20We're fighting Iceland.
02:21Iceland.
02:22And they're using train cod.
02:24Amazing.
02:26Oh, no.
02:27Dick Tracy is trapped in a giant clam.
02:30Now, I'm not Sigmund Freud,
02:32but a man called Dick being eaten by a giant clam.
02:36There's a horror double villain in the pictures.
02:38And you know what that means for us.
02:40Snog city.
02:42That's very kind of you, Maguire,
02:44but can I take a girl, please?
02:46Of course.
02:48You know, it's going to be grey.
02:49You know, horror movies,
02:50they turn birds on quicker than pornos.
02:53Really?
02:54Quicker than that?
02:55You know, if someone would only make
02:57a porno horror movie,
03:00everything's very simple in your world,
03:03isn't it, Maguire?
03:03Harry, is that boy from
03:07not England down there?
03:10You mean tour, Dad?
03:12Hey, Dad just called up.
03:13He wants him to go home.
03:15Maguire, stop saying porno.
03:17How do you say porno, Mr Foreman?
03:20It was tour.
03:22You are a bitch.
03:23Tour, when we moved to England,
03:40we accepted many things.
03:42The language, the food, even the heat.
03:47But we are concerned about this gang of...
03:50ruffians you are hanging around with.
03:52They are my friends.
03:54Yes, that is what they want you to think.
03:57We are not against you fitting in.
03:59We turned a blind eye
04:00when you put up that picture of a naked man.
04:02That's not a naked man.
04:04That's David Wilkie.
04:06Now, you have brought the devil's music
04:09into our home.
04:10Oh, no, that's not the devil's music.
04:12It's Eric's music.
04:14Birgitta, show the boy.
04:16Now, listen to what happens
04:19when she plays it backwards.
04:20That cannot be good for the record.
04:23There it is.
04:26Devil is born free.
04:29Devil is born free.
04:31It's clear as day.
04:33What's funny?
04:34You have it completely wrong, Father.
04:36He's saying,
04:36I want to suck a monkey.
04:40Which is not amusing at all.
04:42So, are you on for a bit of the back row
04:46of the pitchers' action or what?
04:49I don't know.
04:49When I first think of getting off with Donna,
04:52I just don't imagine grabbing and pouncing.
04:53Of course grabbing and pouncing come into it.
04:58I don't know.
04:59I just see us hanging around together,
05:02laughing,
05:03talking,
05:04kissing under the stars.
05:05Yeah.
05:07And then you could skip through a cornfield
05:08with all the elves and the fairies.
05:11While Donna bangs a biker.
05:13Donna wants a man, man.
05:16Be that man.
05:18Man.
05:19Maybe you're right.
05:21Maybe I should make a move.
05:23I just don't want it to think
05:25that I'm moving too fast.
05:26Relax, Eric.
05:27Glaciers move faster than you, mate.
05:31So, Donna,
05:32do you fancy going to the flicks tonight?
05:34Tonight?
05:35Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
05:36I really want to see
05:37One Fleur of the Cuckoo's Nest.
05:39Really?
05:39Well, actually,
05:40I heard that wasn't that great.
05:42But, um,
05:43Cannibal Girls is on.
05:45Really?
05:46Oh.
05:47With shivers,
05:48it's a double bill.
05:48And you'd rather see those?
05:50Aren't they horror films?
05:52Well, yes.
05:54Although apparently
05:55they're not actually that horrifying.
05:56They're just like normal films.
05:59With more stabbing and biting.
06:02So, do you want to go?
06:04Tonight?
06:06Yeah, that'd be great.
06:09Cannibal Girls.
06:11That's a horror movie.
06:13Back row, definitely.
06:15Yeah, I know.
06:16I mean, I really like Eric and everything.
06:18And I think I want to have a physical relationship with him.
06:21But it's just...
06:21It's called getting off.
06:23Try to say it.
06:25Okay.
06:26I want to get off with him.
06:27But,
06:28I don't want there to be pressure.
06:30I don't want to be in public.
06:31And I don't want to be tacky.
06:32And now, all of a sudden,
06:35it's this big public pressure tacky getting off thing.
06:37I completely understand.
06:39I mean,
06:40everybody wants their first big getting off to be
06:42somewhere special, you know,
06:44in a romantic place like Rome
06:46or the West Midland Safari Park.
06:50The West Midland Safari Park.
06:52Okay.
06:54Um,
06:55so,
06:55he asked you to the pictures.
06:57So,
06:57did Donna say yes?
06:58And you said yes.
06:59Yes.
07:00Yes.
07:00Yes.
07:01This is great.
07:02Yeah,
07:02me and Jackie would come with you.
07:03No,
07:04no way, man.
07:05Will you come with us?
07:06Why?
07:07Why not?
07:08You'd be like competition.
07:09Well,
07:09you'd be like a loophole.
07:11Loophole?
07:11Competition.
07:12I'd have to keep up with you and Jackie
07:13and that would make me nervous.
07:14Well,
07:15if I got nervous
07:15and I could always talk to you
07:17because you must be bored with sex by now.
07:19What do you mean?
07:20You and Jackie must have done it
07:21like a million times.
07:22That's true.
07:23We have never done it.
07:25You know,
07:26we went all the way
07:26at the Adventure Playground
07:27on our second night.
07:29Well,
07:30I mean,
07:30he's welcome outside upstairs
07:32and he has visited inside upstairs.
07:35But he's not allowed anywhere near downstairs.
07:39You know,
07:40I just want this to be a great night.
07:42You know,
07:42back where the pictures,
07:43it's traditional,
07:44isn't it?
07:45And it could be romantic
07:46if we were there on our own.
07:49I think we'll find it
07:50an interesting little film,
07:51my dear.
07:52Miss Thrippery,
07:52of course.
07:53There'll be a movie.
07:54Oh, Eric,
07:55it's simply delightful.
07:57I feel so light this evening
07:58as if I were a bubble
07:59fizzing in a glass of champagne.
08:01Catch me!
08:05I mean,
08:05I just want this to be
08:06a really good night
08:08but it could be uncomfortable
08:09if we're there on our own.
08:10I mean,
08:11you know what's traditional
08:11on the back row of the pictures.
08:13Yeah.
08:26What do you think
08:26of the film, then?
08:28It's all right.
08:33Don't worry.
08:34We'll be there.
08:35Oh, that's cool.
08:36You know,
08:36welcome.
08:38Oh, great.
08:43It's really,
08:44it's full,
08:45it's nice.
08:48It's all wrong,
08:49isn't it?
08:49No, no, no,
08:50you look terrific,
08:51especially
08:52for dinner
08:53at the Dudley.
08:54No,
08:55because I just,
08:55did you say the Dudley?
08:57I thought we were going
08:58to the Rosencrow.
09:00I changed my mind.
09:02But you never do that.
09:05The Dudley?
09:08It's so posh there.
09:10Don't make yourself
09:10the exit with that little hat.
09:11That's right.
09:12It'll be something different.
09:13Oh, what the hell,
09:14we haven't been there in ages.
09:15It'll be fun.
09:16Oh,
09:16it's so exciting.
09:19Oh,
09:19if we're going to a swanky restaurant,
09:21I'd better do your ears.
09:22I'll go and get the clippers.
09:23You pop your head over the seat.
09:27I'm telling you,
09:28I heard it.
09:30The devil is singing backwards
09:32on the record.
09:34It's not the devil, man.
09:35It's the government.
09:38They passed a secret law
09:39to put hidden messages
09:40on our records
09:41because they want to kill
09:43rock music, man,
09:43because they know
09:44it makes us feel horny.
09:46Because almost everything
09:47makes us feel horny.
09:50Yeah.
09:50Your cookery
09:52makes me horny.
09:55Oh, and soup.
09:57When you play
09:58the record backwards,
09:59you can hear
10:00the devil speak.
10:02I'm starting to hear him
10:03everywhere.
10:05You're a big one
10:07and you're a big one
10:08and you're a big one.
10:11Satan is your master.
10:13Worship him.
10:15But
10:16before you worship Satan,
10:18get him a chariot.
10:19Get Satan a chariot.
10:22Get Satan a chariot.
10:26Tor,
10:26get me a chariot.
10:28Get me a chariot, Tor.
10:33Satan's second choice
10:34is Ribena.
10:35Rom, what is this place?
10:49Um,
10:50excuse me,
10:51what happened to the Dudley?
10:52Hit burn down.
10:55Three dead.
10:57Very sad.
11:00Welcome to El Rios.
11:01Have you booked?
11:02Hang on a minute.
11:04Well, um,
11:05what do you think?
11:06Well, I mean,
11:07it seems quite the thing.
11:09Yeah, it might be nice, yeah.
11:10Good thing.
11:12Stoff is certainly enthusiastic.
11:14I'm sure I'd find us
11:15a nice, quiet table.
11:18Arriba, arriba!
11:18I'll, um,
11:22put our names down.
11:24Uh,
11:24table for two, please.
11:25For you and the
11:26lovely senora.
11:30For me and my wife.
11:32We should have a table
11:33in about two hours.
11:40Okay.
11:40Okay.
11:41We should have a table
11:42in about 15 minutes.
11:44For five pounds,
11:45I want a table right now.
11:46Oh, look.
11:50We have a table right now.
11:52That's what I thought.
11:54Come on, Kitty.
11:55It's our lucky night.
11:59Uh,
12:00would you take my wife's coat?
12:01Not unless I had to.
12:02LAUGHTER
12:04LAUGHTER
12:04Your father used to take me
12:24to the cinema a lot
12:25when we were courting.
12:26We're not courting.
12:28Oh, yeah.
12:29I suppose you've got
12:30all dressed up
12:30just in case you like
12:31the look of the usher, eh?
12:33The usher?
12:34Well,
12:35bet they know
12:35the way round in the dark.
12:37Why?
12:38That's more than I can say
12:40for your father.
12:41Do you know,
12:41on our first date,
12:42he spent half the film
12:43trying to undo
12:44my handbag strap.
12:46LAUGHTER
12:46Oh.
12:49You look lovely.
12:50OK.
12:54Right, so,
12:54shall we get going?
12:55Hold on.
12:57What for?
12:57Well, we need to get
12:59our story straight
13:00as an ex, yeah?
13:01So we say we're 18.
13:04OK, good plan.
13:05Glad we got that sorted.
13:07Oh, Jackie McGuire.
13:08Hi.
13:09What are you doing here?
13:10Oh, nothing.
13:11How about you?
13:13Me and Donna
13:13are going to the cinema,
13:14remember?
13:15Oh, the pictures.
13:16We'd love to come.
13:17Come on, let's go.
13:18No, I don't think
13:19I really want to...
13:20Let's go.
13:21Go.
13:22Not what we discussed.
13:24Yeah, I'm sorry, mate.
13:25You know, I'll try to go slow.
13:27You just try to keep up.
13:29Woo!
13:29Going to the pictures.
13:30Yes.
13:41Oh, this is nice, Ronnie.
13:45Yeah, the grub took
13:46long enough coming.
13:47It's a wonder they didn't
13:48ask me to catch
13:49the damn things as well.
13:51Calm down.
13:52The vein in your neck
13:53is throbbing.
13:54Yeah, well, when I go
13:55for a night out,
13:56I don't expect you
13:56to do the fishmonger's
13:57job for him.
13:58Oh, nonsense.
14:00You're good with your hands.
14:01Enjoy the challenge.
14:10We will be needing
14:11this table back at nine,
14:12you know, sir.
14:14Are you having me on?
14:15Neck bane, neck bane, neck bane.
14:17We like to get
14:18a second sitting in,
14:19you see, sir,
14:19so if you and the
14:20beautiful signora
14:22could eat up.
14:25Listen, Mush.
14:27Me and my wife
14:28have come here
14:29for a nice evening out.
14:30At the prices you're charging,
14:32we should have this table
14:32not only all night,
14:34but all tomorrow night
14:35on a timeshare basis
14:36for the rest of my life.
14:38Now,
14:39if you don't want
14:40this place
14:40to burn down again,
14:42I suggest you
14:42take these away,
14:44shell them,
14:44and put them
14:45in a nice big bowl
14:46of Fels and Island
14:47dressing.
14:47Comprende?
14:54Well, you certainly
14:54told him, Ronnie.
14:57Hey, hey, hey, hey.
15:00Look who it isn't.
15:02So, you discovered
15:03our secret Spanish
15:04hideaway, eh?
15:06Hello, Bob.
15:06Hello, Midge.
15:07This place
15:08had such good food,
15:09and the waiters
15:10are so sexy,
15:11don't you, mate?
15:12Yes, sir,
15:13suppose they are.
15:14We're just going
15:15to say
15:16buenos dias
15:17to Pablo,
15:18and then we'll
15:18be right back
15:19to join you, okay?
15:20The more the merrier.
15:23A nice,
15:24intimate dinner
15:24for four.
15:25Oh, Kitty,
15:26it's Bob and Midge.
15:27I can hardly tell
15:27them to...
15:28Oh, Ron,
15:29I know.
15:35You on the other
15:36hand can bugger off.
15:36God, this film
15:43even sounds
15:44disgusting.
15:47That's not
15:48the film.
15:53Everything all right?
15:55Well, it would be
15:56better if we had
15:56some popcorn.
15:57I think Eric and
15:58Maguire should go
15:58and get some.
15:59No, Eric can go
16:01and get it.
16:01No, Michael, go.
16:02Oh, Kenny.
16:06Excuse me.
16:09Jackie, I didn't
16:10bring you here so
16:11you could suck
16:11Maguire's face off.
16:13I'm sorry.
16:14Well, so you
16:15should be.
16:15This is really
16:16awkward for me.
16:17Okay, look, I'm
16:18sorry.
16:18I wasn't being a
16:19very good friend.
16:20No more snogging,
16:21I promise.
16:22Excuse me.
16:24Yeah, um...
16:25Oh, sorry.
16:25About the popcorn.
16:26I need some
16:27money.
16:28We don't want
16:29any popcorn.
16:30Sit down.
16:31Women?
16:32I just don't
16:32know what they want.
16:35No, Michael,
16:36we're going to
16:36watch the film
16:37with Eric and
16:37Donna.
16:38But I've missed
16:39the beginning.
16:40The slugs
16:41turn people
16:41into sex
16:42zombies.
16:43Shut up
16:43and watch.
16:45We're going
16:45to save me!
16:49We're in
16:50business.
16:56Do you want
16:59to sit somewhere
17:00else?
17:01Anywhere.
17:08I'm here
17:09for you, Donna!
17:13So the driver
17:14said,
17:16No, senor.
17:17I speak
17:18English.
17:19That's great, Bob.
17:27Yorker sounds
17:28like a lot
17:28of fun.
17:29Oh, it was.
17:31We stayed
17:32in this big hotel
17:33right at the top
17:34of a beautiful
17:35unspoilt beach.
17:36The important
17:37thing is to
17:38avoid the tourists.
17:41It is so
17:42wonderful
17:43just to get
17:43away from it
17:44all.
17:45Just the two
17:45of you
17:46all on your
17:47own.
17:48Yeah, we
17:48really must
17:49try that
17:49sometime.
17:51Hey, what
17:51about some
17:52more sangria?
17:53Not for me,
17:54thank you.
17:54I think we'd
17:55better be
17:55going.
17:57Oh.
17:58Adi off,
17:59amig off.
18:00See you
18:00back at the
18:01villa.
18:07The cot
18:08for the
18:09lovely
18:10gentleman's
18:12wife.
18:13now, here's
18:19how we
18:19sneak the
18:20devil's
18:20music past
18:21mummy and
18:21daddy's
18:22square.
18:23Ozzy
18:23Osbourne,
18:24meet
18:25Val
18:25Doonigan.
18:29Don't
18:29resist me,
18:30Val.
18:30Oh, no,
18:31don't, you're
18:31hurting me,
18:32no, no,
18:32don't.
18:33Come on,
18:34say hello
18:34to Ozzy.
18:35Oh, no,
18:36well,
18:37mind me
18:37cardigan.
18:38But what
18:45if my
18:45parents hear
18:46it?
18:47Well, then
18:47Satan commands
18:48us to kill
18:48them.
18:49No.
18:49Yeah.
18:50No, no,
18:51tell you what,
18:52we'll use the
18:53headphones instead.
18:59Kitty, I'm
19:00sorry about
19:00tonight.
19:01Oh, Ron,
19:02it's not your
19:03fault.
19:04That
19:04cosmopolitan
19:05magazine had a
19:05funny effect on
19:06me.
19:07It's OK,
19:08love.
19:08Everyone feels
19:09like a bit of
19:10a change
19:10sometimes.
19:11Well, at
19:12least we
19:12tried it.
19:14We're just
19:14not cut out
19:15for this
19:15modern
19:16continental
19:17stuff.
19:18We've
19:19slowed
19:19down,
19:20flattened
19:20out.
19:21At our
19:21age,
19:21it's
19:22inevitable.
19:24Right,
19:25that's
19:26it.
19:26Ron,
19:27oh, my
19:27God,
19:27you're not
19:27going back
19:28to hit
19:28the
19:28waiter.
19:29Ron.
19:29Hold on,
19:30Kitty.
19:36Our
19:36night's not
19:36over yet.
19:37cannibal
19:43girls were
19:44a big
19:44improvement
19:44on
19:44shivers,
19:45wouldn't
19:45you agree?
19:46I don't
19:46know,
19:47it's just
19:47another
19:47girl-eats
19:48boy story.
19:49Yeah,
19:49I wonder
19:49if Jackie
19:50devoured
19:50Maguire
19:50by now.
19:52Well,
19:52she sucked
19:53out his
19:53mind a
19:53long time
19:54ago.
19:54The body's
19:54pretty much
19:55a formality.
20:04Hello.
20:04Oh, I'm just
20:06checking the
20:07chair padding
20:07to see if I've
20:08got a rough
20:08deal.
20:08look and
20:11play.
20:15In fact,
20:16in the
20:16chair padding
20:17department,
20:17I'm more than
20:18satisfied.
20:22In fact,
20:23the furnishings
20:24are both
20:24comfortable and
20:25hard-wearing.
20:25smooth work,
20:35Eric Foreman.
20:46I'm a
20:47paint toothbrush,
20:49you're a
20:49blue toothbrush,
20:51have we met
20:52somewhere before?
20:53this world
21:01of love music
21:02won't damage
21:03my hearing.
21:03Oh, man,
21:05it's good
21:05for you.
21:09Gilly-gilly
21:10oxen
21:10fester
21:10kasta
21:11mellam
21:11boogeln
21:12by the
21:12sea.
21:23All right,
21:28kids,
21:29that's
21:29enough.
21:33Oh,
21:34you're
21:34adults.
21:36Too right for
21:37adults.
21:38Sorry, sir,
21:39my mistake.
21:40It's all right,
21:40we all make
21:41mistakes.
21:42Why don't you
21:43go and arrest
21:43some dope-smoking
21:44teenagers before I
21:45have to get
21:45annoyed?
21:45Yes, sir.
21:48Enjoy your
21:48evening.
21:51Nice,
21:52Benny.
21:53You let him
21:53off with a
21:53warning.
21:54Yeah.
21:56But you're
21:56not getting
21:57off so
21:57easily.
21:58It's his
22:14new
22:15direction.
22:25So,
22:25how was the
22:26film?
22:26Pretty gory.
22:28How did it
22:29end?
22:30I didn't
22:31see.
22:32That's my
22:33boy.
22:35How was
22:36your evening?
22:37It was
22:38fantastic.
22:40Great,
22:40well,
22:40good night,
22:41Dad.
22:42Night,
22:42son.
22:43Oh,
22:43be quiet
22:45going upstairs.
22:46Your
22:46mother's
22:46very tired.
22:55Well,
22:56we won't be
22:56going to
22:57El Rios
22:57again.
22:58Not
22:58in a
22:58hurry.
23:00No,
23:00it's more
23:00Bob and
23:01Midget sort
23:01of place.
23:02I seem
23:03to like
23:03it.
23:10There you
23:10have to,
23:11miss it.
23:12It's helping us,
23:12it's him and the
23:13Bob.
23:13Yeah,
23:15I know you're
23:17funny,
23:17I was now
23:17getting low,
23:18we won't.
23:18Peter,
23:19I know you're
23:22there.
23:23I know you're
23:23doing it.
23:24Do you
23:24it,
23:25it,
23:25it,
23:26it,
23:27it,
23:28it,
23:29it,
23:29it,
23:30it,
23:31it,
23:32it,
23:32it,
23:32it,
23:33it,
23:33it,
23:34it,
23:34it,
23:35it,
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