- 2 days ago
When the gang decide to go to a disco, Dylan gets dance lessons from Eric's mother, with unintended consequences.
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00:00OK, the game is anti-scrabble.
00:15Only films, actors, trade names and street slang.
00:18Yep, swear words count double.
00:19Oh, my God! They've opened a new disco.
00:23Where?
00:24In Watford. Oh, let's go.
00:27You can wear your David Bowie hipsters.
00:30Oh, Michael, that would be smashy.
00:34You can laugh, but my bum looks pretty great in those hipsters.
00:38For a disco, it's going to be crap.
00:41I don't know, going disco dancing might be quite fun.
00:44On the other hand, you know, we could go.
00:46I can't go. I haven't got a word.
00:50You're supposed to move the tiles around, Maguire.
00:55I'm getting brainic.
00:57Look, if you can't go, go and make some salis.
01:01Yeah?
01:02Cool.
01:04And take her with you!
01:10What is disco?
01:11Disco is from hell.
01:12And not the cool part of hell with all the torture and unnecessary nudity,
01:16but the boring part with all the bad accountants.
01:21Disco's not that bad.
01:23It's happy music.
01:24The dancing tour.
01:25Don't know, man.
01:26I thought you were more into rock.
01:28You know, real music.
01:30Yeah, but you can't only dance to rock.
01:33This is true.
01:34I cannot dance to Bohemian Rhapsody.
01:37Although you gave it a remarkably good try once you drank that bottle of woodpecker.
01:42I can't believe it.
01:43He has arse right there.
01:45Days like this, I feel like I could change the world.
02:02Days like this, I feel like I could change the world.
02:07Ooh, on a day like this.
02:10I can't believe you and Jackie are dragging everyone to a disco.
02:19You know, I'm only going so I can meet Watford birds.
02:23You know, I'm finishing with her.
02:25If only it was true.
02:27It is, man.
02:29Oh, but I've just remembered.
02:30I've got Amir outside the wimpy.
02:32What about the game, man?
02:33We're going shopping, and if I'm late, she gives me, I grow.
02:37I think it was painful when they removed his backbone.
02:40I hope so.
02:42Now, I can't believe you lot are wasting all that cash on going to a disco when you could buy a massive big bag of...
02:49Hi, Dad!
02:50Fertiliser!
02:50And grow an enormous onion instead.
02:59Eric, you can finish the game later.
03:01Get upstairs.
03:02Your room's a disgrace.
03:03I know.
03:04Who chose that wallpaper?
03:07Just get upstairs, son.
03:10So you don't want to go to the disco, eh?
03:18Nah.
03:18Like the trendy fakes listening to plastic music.
03:22Not my scene.
03:24You can't dance, can you?
03:27I can dance.
03:28I don't think so, pal.
03:30I can dance.
03:33Not one step.
03:35All right, I can't dance.
03:37Then you've got a problem, son.
03:39Because women want to dance.
03:42They always want to dance.
03:45Always.
03:45Why?
03:48Because when they're dancing, they're close up in front of you, wiggling around, in a safe environment.
03:55Why can't they do that when they're sitting down, like, at a table?
04:03I'm sure you could find a woman to do that for you if you knew where to look and you had the money.
04:06The point is, I don't want to wiggle in public.
04:12Of course you don't.
04:13You're a man.
04:14But you're going to have to learn.
04:17Or later in life, you might end up wiggling all by yourself.
04:24If you want, I could help.
04:26You're going to teach me.
04:27Dad, I wanted to ask you when I have to be home on Saturday night.
04:33We're going to a disco in Watford.
04:35Ooh, dancing in Watford.
04:37That's quite a drive.
04:39Could I stay out until two?
04:40No, no, no.
04:41Or 1.30.
04:44Or one.
04:45Done.
04:47Who's going?
04:48What donor, I'm sure.
04:49I mean, they're practically going out together.
04:51Could I have some petromony?
04:53Going out? Since when?
04:54Mum, we're not going out.
04:55Why not? She really likes you.
04:57Thanks, Mum.
04:57About this petromony.
04:59Oh, I can tell she's interested.
05:00And dancing is the quickest way to get to a girl's heart.
05:05Ron, do you remember when we used to go to the Poker Poker in St Albans?
05:09St Albans? That is quite a drive.
05:11You used to wear that two-toned suit and those crepe-soled shoes.
05:18Volare.
05:19Oh.
05:22Cantare.
05:23See what you've done now, Eric.
05:24You've got your mother started.
05:25No, no, no.
05:27La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
05:35Left, right, left.
05:37Turn and step.
05:38Keep up with the music, Mrs. Fulwell.
05:40Now, now, now.
05:41Don't get discouraged.
05:42I'll switch this off.
05:44And you can just follow me.
05:46Right.
05:48Left, right.
05:50No, no, no, no, no, no.
05:51Look at me.
05:52No, don't look at your feet.
05:54Ah.
05:58Left, right.
05:59Left.
06:00Now, put your arm around me.
06:02No, a little bit lower.
06:04Put your hand in the small of my back.
06:07Feel how you can guide me?
06:08Yeah.
06:09You're leading.
06:11Now, show me where you want me to move with your hands.
06:15Left, right, left.
06:18And keep eye contact on the turn and dip.
06:20Left, right, left, right, left.
06:36Hello?
06:37Anyone in?
06:40Midge asked me to bring back your Tupperware.
06:43Put your hand there.
06:44Oh, perfect.
06:45You're better than Ron.
06:46Oh, that's not that spicy work.
06:53I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone what we're doing.
06:57Mum's the word.
06:59See you tomorrow after school, OK?
07:00Yeah.
07:04Very good.
07:12Yeah, I was thinking about it.
07:14Um, I think I am going to come to the disco.
07:18Just in case I accidentally put on some Hendrix.
07:23I have something to say.
07:26Now, I think it's only fair to warn you boys.
07:30But I bought some new shoes today.
07:32And they're the luscious loafers in Luton.
07:34OK, no more for Maguire.
07:38He's cooked.
07:40If you were cooking something, I would enjoy some pie.
07:43Lemon pie.
07:45Or food of any kind would be nice.
07:47I'm starving.
07:50I read somewhere that there are these blokes in India who fast.
07:55And apparently their minds are so advanced, they can actually think themselves to death.
08:03Oh, no.
08:07I hope I'm not doing that right now, because my brain is always doing things I don't know about.
08:16Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
08:18Come on, keep on thinking.
08:20Happy thoughts.
08:22OK, definitely no more for Maguire.
08:24He's scaring me.
08:25If you do not care to cook, toast would be nice.
08:31Toast.
08:33I mean, it's just the most...
08:36Isn't it?
08:37I mean, everyone loves it, right?
08:39It's hot.
08:41It's crunchy.
08:43God, anything goes on it.
08:45I propose a toast to toast.
08:49Man, I mean, there should be a toast restaurant.
08:53I mean, clean up.
08:55We think of so many brilliant things here, man.
09:01But then, you know, later on, I can't remember any of them.
09:04And they're so brilliant, man.
09:08Somebody please make toast.
09:09Right now.
09:10Toast, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast.
09:15Wonderful toast.
09:17Wonderful toast.
09:20Wonderful toast.
09:22Eric, what are you up to?
09:23I'm just toasting, man.
09:25Eric, you just called me man.
09:31Sorry, sir.
09:33Dad is fine.
09:35Sorry, sorry, Dad.
09:37You see, I'm just making some toast.
09:40You see, Tor wanted some, and he's foreign.
09:42So we didn't want him to feel left out, so I said that I would have some.
09:48Even though I'm not hungry.
09:50I should think, no, you just had your tea.
09:52Exactly.
09:52Yeah, well, I'm just going to say, I know you need some petrol money for Saturday.
09:58If you do some odd jobs around the house, I'll let you have a few quid.
10:00Great.
10:01Right.
10:01I need you to move the logs and chop them, clean the leaves out of the gutters, pick up the milk, and sweep the garage, okay?
10:08Fine.
10:09So what have you got to do?
10:14Move the logs and then chop them, pick up the leaves.
10:18Pick up the milk.
10:19Yes, and the gutters.
10:21Right, chop the gutters.
10:22Clean, clean the gutters.
10:24Move the logs, chop them, pick up the milk, clean the gutters, sweep the garage.
10:31You do that, and I'll sort you out some petrol money.
10:35Dad, did you say something about leaves?
10:38They're in the gutters.
10:39Right, clean, sweep them up.
10:41Clean them up.
10:43I'm sorry, but I've got to make toast.
11:00I know you're in the gutter.
11:25I don't know if you've got to make a toast.
11:28Oh, don't believe it, Midge.
11:41Kitty and that boy are at it again.
11:58You smell nice?
12:08I had a bath.
12:10Huh.
12:11A big bubble bath.
12:14Mmm.
12:15Hey, get out of my bathroom.
12:17Sorry.
12:19You smell, er...
12:21strongly?
12:24Yeah, well, you know what they say.
12:26Splash it all over.
12:28Okay, everybody, all squish up in front of the car.
12:35Right.
12:37Everybody smile.
12:41Right, now, just the girls.
12:45Aww.
12:46So pretty.
12:47I know.
12:51Right, now, just the boys.
12:56How handsome.
12:57Okay, now one of the shoes.
13:03Mum, we're going to be late.
13:04Oh.
13:10Thanks, Mrs. Forman, you're the best.
13:12Struck your funky stuff, Dylan.
13:16She's a lovely lad.
13:19Kitty.
13:20Bye.
13:21Kitty, I need your advice.
13:35Go ahead.
13:36What is it?
13:38I have this married friend,
13:40and she's about to throw it all away
13:43because she's fallen for a much younger man.
13:46It's Margaret, isn't it?
13:48No.
13:48I always knew that Margaret was open for business.
13:52It's not Margaret.
13:54Oh.
13:55Do I know this friend?
13:57Yes.
13:59Very well.
14:00Midge.
14:04Does Bob know?
14:07Yes.
14:08And he doesn't know what to do.
14:10Kitty, I don't know what to do.
14:12Listen, Midge.
14:13You must make this friend think about
14:15all the people she's about to hurt,
14:17and she must tell this younger man,
14:19whoever he is,
14:19and I don't want to know
14:21that it's got to stop.
14:25I just hope my friend takes your advice.
14:29I'm sure your friend will.
14:34A younger man.
14:36I wonder what that's like.
14:38So,
14:50how are you, Ron?
14:53Not bad.
14:58All right, Bob.
15:01What is it?
15:02Just curious.
15:04What do you make of that Dylan, lad?
15:07Dylan?
15:08Well, he's a bit rebellious, I suppose.
15:11Just needs some direction.
15:13Yeah, well, apparently he's been getting some.
15:16Look, Ron,
15:17I sort of walked into your living room the other day,
15:19and he and Kitty were in some sort of...
15:22provocative embrace.
15:25I think he made a pass at your wife.
15:29Oh, my God.
15:33Now I'm going to have to kill him.
15:36Ron, fetch me your axe, will you?
15:37Oh, hold on, Ron.
15:38I could have been mistaken.
15:40You saw what you saw.
15:41Better get your tarpaulin while you're at it.
15:43I need somewhere to put the body parts.
15:45She might have been joking on food or something.
15:47I can't take that chance.
15:49What choice have I got as a man?
15:51Wrong.
15:52Come on.
15:52I mean, they could have been dancing.
15:54In fact,
15:55I'm sure she was teaching him dancing,
15:57because they all went off to that disco.
16:00Dancing?
16:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
16:03That can't be right.
16:04Because that would just be far too logical.
16:08Wouldn't it, Bob?
16:09Good job I didn't chop him up.
16:22Oh, you got me again there, Ron.
16:28Yes, Bob.
16:31Yes, I did.
16:32Oh, you got me again there, Ron.
17:03Jackie, where did you go?
17:04We were dancing.
17:05I had to get something for you to bite on.
17:08I told everyone you were having a fit.
17:11Why don't we let play the disco music?
17:13Tor, this is disco music.
17:15No, no, this is the music of love.
17:17No, Tor, this is disco.
17:19It's crap.
17:22I think I like this crap.
17:23Come on, Jackie, dance it down.
17:25No, I'm tired.
17:26Don't resist me, Mama.
17:28It's boogie time.
17:29It's like you've just lost your girlfriend.
17:35Yeah, well, me and Jackie are splitting up.
17:38It's just a lot of trouble.
17:40Don't break down to my blood.
17:51Don't break down to my blood.
17:52Oh, my. All that much.
18:19Hey, is he touching her bum?
18:26Listen, more Grugelang music.
18:28Tor, you're crazy.
18:31Wow, they're really good.
18:33Yeah, if you want to dance like that.
18:36I would love to dance like that.
18:39Do you want to dance with me?
18:42OK.
18:49This is a side of you I've never seen.
19:03Yeah, you're my first dance, actually.
19:06I'm your first?
19:09Yeah.
19:10I'm honoured.
19:13This is nice.
19:14This is nice.
19:15Are we all now?
19:22Come on, man.
19:24I'm getting this weird, Philly.
19:31What?
19:33I don't know.
19:34I just want to kiss you or something.
19:38Don't have to kiss me back if you don't want.
19:40I'm not kidding.
19:45Dylan, shut up and dance.
19:52Well, this is great.
19:53This is really a lot of fun.
19:54This is definitely what I came here for.
19:56Yeah.
19:57I mean, me and Jackie are splitting up,
19:59so this just makes the process a lot easier.
20:02Is that why you look like you just sat on a spike?
20:04Man, I mean, where did Dylan learn to dance like that?
20:10But for some reason, you remind me of my dad.
20:14Yeah.
20:21Tor, you're such an amazing dancer.
20:24Actually, Jackie, you are the reason I am amazing.
20:28You see, when a man dances,
20:31he should display the woman to the room.
20:33Look at the beautiful flower.
20:36Oh, not at all.
20:41Right!
20:42So, it's you and me right now.
20:45Why are you interrupting us?
20:47Because Jackie's my girlfriend, man.
20:49But you're finishing with her.
20:52Where did you get that from?
20:54OK, I'll run away now.
20:55No!
20:57Michael, it's not his fault.
20:59You just don't know how to dance with me.
21:01I could teach you.
21:02See, when you dance, Michael, it's all about you.
21:05I mean, I've been gone for two dances before you even noticed.
21:07So you don't know I'm a-dancing,
21:09so you just run off with another bloke?
21:11I know.
21:12I was wrong and I'm sorry,
21:14but I want it to be displayed like a flower.
21:17Baby, you know you're my flower.
21:19That is so beautiful.
21:22Please let me go.
21:24Oh, Michael.
21:24Oh, come here.
21:26Great.
21:27I'm passing out now.
21:38Dylan,
21:38you were right about disco music.
21:41It's evil.
21:43It's pulsing rhythm
21:44made me do a bad thing.
21:46Yeah, well,
21:47me too.
21:48Macquarie's my friend.
21:50I could not take his woman.
21:53A good bloke, too.
21:55Actually,
21:56I could take his woman,
21:58but I won't.
21:59Come on, let's go.
22:01See ya.
22:02Good night.
22:05Wow.
22:06Dylan dancing.
22:07What a surprise.
22:09Yeah,
22:09who would have guessed it?
22:10You looked like you were having a good time.
22:13Well,
22:13it's disco fever.
22:14You catch it.
22:15But I'm better now.
22:18What a weird night.
22:21Do you see Macquarie's shoes?
22:23Yeah.
22:24Do you remember when you saw that girl
22:26wearing the same pair?
22:27That was sad.
22:29You know,
22:32it's many years
22:34since I've seen a rifle in your hand.
22:37What?
22:38I can see it in your eyes.
22:40What are you talking about, Eric?
22:42How proud you were
22:43to fight for freedom in this land?
22:45Oh, no, don't.
22:46Don't, don't, don't.
22:47There was something in the air
22:49that night
22:50the stars were bright.
22:55I'm sorry,
22:56I just hate disco music.
22:58Then why did you go?
22:59Because I like you.
23:02Oh.
23:04So you're in like with me, eh?
23:07No, um...
23:08I can kiss.
23:15I just can't dance.
23:17You'll learn.
23:20They were shining down for you
23:22and me
23:23for liberty.
23:25No, no, I really want to kiss you again, actually.
23:27Eric, shut up and dance.
23:30Though we never thought
23:32that we could live
23:33there's no regret
23:35If I had to do the same again
23:39I would,
23:40my friend Fernando
23:42Don't have to do the same again
23:46I would, my friend Fernando
23:47come in
23:48my friend...
23:50my friend Fernando
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