- 3 months ago
When Donna thinks that she is pregnant, she is put on the pill.
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TVTranscript
00:00And after seven weeks with his first UK number one it's goodbye Elton and Kiki and hello to
00:11ever a dancing queen
00:38Jackie have you ever wondered why you're knocking on your door before people come into your house
00:44sorry I didn't know you'd be doing something so embarrassing no really need someone to talk to
00:53I mean I really need a friend okay good luck I mean I really can feel I can trust you know
01:01because you're such a nice person no I'm not I can talk to you no you can't okay Jackie what's wrong
01:12did McGuire forget your birthday has your pet rock escaped I'm pregnant
01:19so then the bionic woman rents a room from Elsie Tanner at the Rovers and they both live happily
01:30ever after Eric what is the matter you're miles away nothing sorry listen Donna I have to tell
01:38you something but you've just got a promise not to tell anybody else okay I promise tell me
01:44days like this I feel like I can change the world
02:04days like this I feel like I can change the world on a day like this
02:16and then in the dream the two Ronis feed each other chocolate palette while I play them a beautiful
02:27song on my accordion in the nude for some reason the accordion bothers me more than the nude
02:35Michael stop it what did I do I just need all the food I can get right now okay
02:45hiya um I need to go to the ladies Jackie oh my god you've never asked me to go with you to the
02:58ladies before yeah it's a big day what was all that about yes Eric spill the milk
03:07Jack has been acting so weird lately I really think it's time to finish with her oh that's just
03:15great Maguire what a gentleman why don't you just grow up what so is it true yeah Donna it's true
03:25I'm carrying Michael Maguire's love child
03:27Jackie how could you have been so stupid why didn't you use something
03:33well I would have but my cousin Trisha told me that I couldn't get pregnant for eight days after
03:38my period eight days after your first day or your last day I don't know she never rang back
03:44but Donna having a baby is going to change my whole life yes I mean I'll have to wear sensible shoes
03:51and and I'll gain weight and I'll be too fat for dance school not to mention the fact that you'll
03:56have a baby to look after I know goodbye skiing you've really thought this through haven't you
04:03Jackie you're pregnant well Donna I'm in so much trouble
04:09look don't don't cry Jackie we'll sort it out
04:14what does Maguire say about all this I can't tell Michael it's too embarrassing
04:19but you did it with him I know but we didn't talk
04:24look Jackie you've got to tell Maguire and if you don't I will
04:28thanks Donna no way I don't want to tell him
04:33I think he already knows
04:40what
04:55nothing we were just surprised you came home that's all
04:59it's no big deal I just didn't feel like hanging out with my friends during reading week
05:04I mean reading week is for you know reading you're not running away from library fines again
05:11are you because they will track you down I'm sure she's just come home so she can spend some time with
05:18you me and Eric why have you come home daddy it it's just been a very very difficult term and I'm sure
05:30you'll come through with flying colors yeah you know the whole concept of marks is so subjective isn't it
05:41it's really the experience of university that's important
05:46no it's not
05:50here you go post late
05:54nothing
05:58I saw I'm late by the way I mean I was at the pit stop then I had to drive everybody home and
06:03then Maguire
06:04yeah yeah yeah you're late be responsible for your own actions
06:08that's easy for you to save pal
06:09is that lad on something
06:14you must be
06:15you didn't even look at me
06:17and I look fantastic
06:18oh don't want to miss this is your life
06:22Bob
06:24hang on Eamon
06:27mum can I talk to you
06:32of course you can
06:33well I've got this friend and it's not me
06:35but she's pregnant
06:37is it you
06:37no it's not me
06:39oh thank god
06:40I just had this horrible flashback to when I was 17 telling my mother that I was
06:45not pregnant
06:46you were saying honey
06:49well the whole thing's just so scary and overwhelming
06:52and I mean Jackie
06:54my friend
06:56it is you isn't it
06:57no
06:58look she had one night of fun and her whole life is out of control
07:02oh
07:03this makes me so cross
07:05I learned in my female empowerment class
07:08that there's no reason for women not to be in charge of their own bodies
07:12you worried about you and Eric
07:15well yeah
07:16no
07:17maybe
07:18birth control is
07:21let me just tell you what I think
07:24sometimes things happen in the heat of the moment
07:27and the back seat of a Morris Minor is too late to think about birth control
07:31take it from me
07:32thanks mum
07:34this is just between us yeah
07:37we're not going to tell them anything
07:40honey
07:41it's Lonnie Donegan and they've dug up his driving instructor
07:44come and watch
07:44no sweetheart
07:47your father's got a lot on his mind
07:49I've been thinking about it
07:56and I'm going to do the right thing
07:58I'm going to be responsible
08:00because I have to
08:02I mean I'm going to be a father
08:04well you know
08:05on the plus side
08:06you can go into any off license holding a baby
08:09and they'll sell you booze
08:11I don't like it
08:12and I've still got some of my Meccano
08:15oh this is going to be great
08:17and Jackie's mucca tots will get huge
08:20mucca tots
08:21yes
08:23her feet will grow long as well as wide
08:25very gratifying
08:27yeah
08:27you're doing the right thing man
08:29you're a good man Maguire
08:30oh you lads are so glad you're not me
08:34aren't you
08:35you better believe
08:36yes
08:36oh this is scary man
08:40I mean I should get married
08:43not just married
08:45married to Jackie
08:47that's completely terrifying
08:50I mean can you imagine what that would be like
08:53hi baby
09:02I'm
09:03you're in big trouble Mr. Michael Maguire
09:05that's what you are
09:07why baby
09:08because ever since we got married
09:09I've been in a bad mood
09:10for no apparent reason
09:11and I don't see why
09:12I should have to stop now
09:13but
09:14listen
09:15I've had a great idea
09:16why don't we take
09:17all the children
09:18back to the hospital
09:19I mean
09:20maybe they could work
09:21in the kitchens or something
09:22oh please
09:24they're all so annoying
09:26and they keep asking for food
09:27whilst I'm watching Crossroads
09:28have you say baby
09:30oh okay
09:31and then we can go live
09:32in a big mansion
09:33yeah
09:33look Jackie
09:35there's
09:35only so many
09:36tiny things I can sell
09:38and we're fine
09:40but don't you get any big ideas
09:42about doing it again
09:43until you bought me
09:44a silver toilet
09:45and a solid gold hat
09:46I'm never having sex again
09:51yeah I'm sure
09:52I'm serious
09:54it's just not worth it
09:55be careful Eric
09:57because this could so easily
09:57happen to you
09:58no I don't think so man
09:59I have to have sex first
10:02I'm just a bird in the sky
10:13so Helen
10:24you've been developing
10:25a rather close relationship
10:27with the postman recently
10:28I don't know what
10:29you're talking about
10:30hmm
10:31let me think
10:32what would make you
10:33give up a week
10:34sleeping around in East Anglia
10:35I know
10:37it's a uni marks
10:38isn't it
10:38getting kicked out
10:39hole in one
10:41okay Eric
10:43you know what
10:44what
10:44dad likes me
10:46and he doesn't like you
10:46oh well he won't like you
10:48when he finds out
10:48you're getting kicked out of uni
10:49now he will
10:50can I help you
10:53yeah I'm here to pick up
10:54some photographs
10:55the name is Foreman
10:56thanks
10:57hello there Eric
11:05you okay
11:06yeah thanks Mr Palmer
11:08how about you
11:08yeah
11:09here you go
11:11thank you
11:12can I help you
11:13yep
11:13prescription for Palmer
11:15trying on aftershave for Donna
11:18eh
11:19that is so sweet
11:21thanks
11:21may I recommend high karate
11:24makes you smell like Bruce Lee
11:25hmm
11:26before he died obviously
11:28here you go
11:30are you sure that's my prescription
11:32I wanted cough mixture
11:34Palmer
11:40Donner
11:41microgynon 30
11:43micro what
11:45microgynon
11:46birth control pills
11:49bitch
11:50Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
12:20Bidge!
12:22Oh, dear.
12:25Oh, dear.
12:29Say hi to Bob.
12:30He's a typical withy guy who works hard
12:33but likes to let his hair down on weekends.
12:36Life is good,
12:38but lately he's noticed some slight changes in his daughter Donna.
12:47Hi, sweetheart.
12:48How was sixth form today?
12:50Cool, Dad. I got an A for an S.A. and tonight I'm dropping acid with the caretaker.
12:59Can you go now, Dad? We've got homework to do.
13:06Bob realises his daughter is growing up, but he's confused.
13:09Hey, Bob, have you got a sec?
13:11Sure thing. Now that Donna's on the pill, she's what the medical profession calls open for business.
13:20Come on, Bob. I want to show you something.
13:24You see, Bob, the pill is so groovy because it means Donna can have lots of sex with many different partners.
13:31I'll just hear you.
13:33Number 20, your time is up. Next, please.
13:37Hey, Mr Palmer, your daughter sure is a hot little piece.
13:40So, do you take it now, Bob? She's open for business.
13:46Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to push you.
13:48Eric, you're not eating. Are you ill?
14:08Yeah, Eric. You do seem a bit upset.
14:12Did something happen at the chemist?
14:13What happened at the chemist?
14:19Nothing. Shut up.
14:22Eric, be nice to your sister.
14:25Kitty, what did you do with the post?
14:27Oh, there wasn't any.
14:29Oh, Ron, you haven't been shouting at the postman again.
14:33That's funny, Helen.
14:34I could have sworn I saw a University of East Anglia envelope sticking out of your bra.
14:38What?
14:40What?
14:42Donna's on the pill.
14:48What have you done?
14:52Nothing.
14:54Tea's over.
14:56You, kitchen, now.
14:58Come on.
14:58I know you're 17, and we can't stop you from doing what you want.
15:09Yes, we can.
15:10Ron!
15:11But all I ask is that you show her a little respect.
15:15You're a dirty, dirty girl.
15:19Now, let's talk about birth control.
15:22You've obviously...
15:23Birth control? Don't do it!
15:24That's birth control.
15:26I'm going to pray for you, Eric.
15:28Do you know Helen's getting kicked out of uni?
15:33Don't try and change the subject.
15:34You've got some strange thoughts going on in your tiny mind.
15:38That Donna's a really nice girl.
15:40Ron, you're giving him the wrong idea about sex.
15:43It's not dirty.
15:45Well, it's not clean, either.
15:47That reminds me.
15:49Always keep your nails trimmed and clean.
15:52And foreplay...
15:53Foreplay is very important.
15:57It's not that important.
16:00Yes, it is.
16:08OK, so what are you going to say?
16:10Er, right.
16:12Mr Burgett, sir...
16:15I've had my alts, Jack is up the duff,
16:17but I'm willing to pay the price.
16:19OK, that's good.
16:23That's good.
16:24But try and think of it more from his point of view.
16:27He needs to be reassured.
16:29Remember, this is his baby we're talking about.
16:32Right.
16:33Should I tell him she's dynamite in the sack?
16:36Look, Tor, you pay Mr Burgett, yeah?
16:38Yes.
16:39You can do that?
16:39Yep.
16:40That'll be it.
16:41Right, now, give him a hard time.
16:43Very well.
16:43What makes you think you can marry my daughter?
16:47You're a low-down, filthy man.
16:50Oh, please, Mr Burgett, let me marry her.
16:53No, you have no appreciation for her fine qualities.
16:57Her smile, her ears,
17:00the way her hair floats on a summer evening.
17:02Hey, I like her ears and I want to marry her.
17:04No, my mind is made up.
17:06I want her to marry somebody from a cold and snowy land.
17:09Pfft.
17:09You take it easy there, mate.
17:12Do not tell me to take it easy.
17:14I'm 43 years old and I have a big moustache.
17:22Personally, I'm very proud to have a daughter
17:25that's acted in such a mature and responsible way.
17:28I'm her father, mid.
17:29You should have told me.
17:31Can you imagine how I felt standing there with Eric
17:33when the chemist handed me birth control pills?
17:36Eric knows.
17:38Thanks a lot, Dad.
17:39Great.
17:45My daughter's open for business.
17:48You know she's going out with Eric.
17:49All the more reason.
17:51No, don't say that, Midge.
17:52I'm getting a nasty picture in my head.
17:54Would you rather she got pregnant?
17:56That's not going to happen to Donna.
17:57It happened to us.
17:59No, Donna's not like us.
18:00She doesn't need all that.
18:02She's got her...
18:03her bears.
18:04Hi, Helen.
18:15This is Eric in.
18:15Hello.
18:16He's at the pit stop.
18:16Watch the door.
18:19What are you doing?
18:20My results.
18:21I've got to change some Fs into Bs before Ron sees them.
18:24Well, don't worry.
18:25Ron and Kitty are deep into angels.
18:27I'd better go now.
18:28Hey, good move going on the pill.
18:31Best thing I ever did.
18:32Wait till you get to university.
18:36What is this?
18:37Is my dad got a press release or something?
18:38Oh, Donna.
18:46Donna.
18:47Oh, my God.
18:48Guess what?
18:49You're having twins.
18:50No.
18:51I'm not pregnant.
18:53Oh, Jackie, thank God.
18:54I know.
18:55Phew.
18:55Oh, pretty lucky, hey?
18:56Now, I couldn't get this whole ugly thing ever happened.
18:58Put it all behind me.
18:59And Jackie, wake up.
19:02I'm not going to let you forget this.
19:03You've been really, really lucky.
19:05And as your friend, I'm not going to let you be stupid.
19:07We're friends.
19:08Shut up.
19:10Jackie, I went on the pill.
19:12Really?
19:13Oh, my God.
19:13You're going to get so much attention.
19:16Jackie, I didn't do it to get attention.
19:17I did it because I don't want to spend the rest of my life in this town.
19:20Well, you know, Kentucky Fried Chicken might be opening on the high street.
19:24OK, please don't shake me again.
19:27I just want more out of my life.
19:28I mean, I've never even seen Paris.
19:30Oh, I've been there.
19:31It's so nice.
19:33But then again, we are much richer than you.
19:34What I'm saying is, is with the Sex Discrimination Act and all that stuff, I'm going to be able
19:40to do anything I want to do.
19:41And so will you if you don't mess it up.
19:44Um, OK, so Donna, tell me about this pill.
19:47Does it do anything weird to your hair?
19:48I still don't understand.
20:14Why does Donna have to take this pill?
20:16Is she sick?
20:18No, she takes the pill so she can have sex without getting pregnant.
20:24McWire, with such a useful product available, what the hell were you thinking, you idiot?
20:32You know, I was thinking, Eric, you should probably finish with Donna.
20:35Oh, yeah, why?
20:37Well, the way I see it, you thrive on stress.
20:39And that much worry-free sex, man, it'll kill you.
20:43You know, I'm not going to kill you.
20:44I'm not going to kill you.
20:45I'm not going to kill you.
20:46I'm not going to kill you.
20:47I'm not going to kill you.
20:48I'm not going to kill you.
20:49I'm not going to kill you.
20:49I'm not going to kill you.
20:50I'm not going to kill you.
20:51I'm not going to kill you.
20:52I'm not going to kill you.
20:53I'm not going to kill you.
20:54I'm not going to kill you.
20:55I'm not going to kill you.
20:56I'm not going to kill you.
20:57I'm not going to kill you.
20:58I'm not going to kill you.
20:59I'm not going to kill you.
21:00I'm not going to kill you.
21:01I'm not going to kill you.
21:02I'm not going to kill you.
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