Taskmaster Season 20 Episode 3

Reality Insight Hub

Taskmaster Season 20 Episode 3  #RealityInsightHub  🎞 Please subscribe to our official channel to watch the full movie for free, as soon as possible. ❤️Reality Insight Hub❤️ 👉 Official Channel: https://www.dailymotion.com/TrailerBolt 👉 THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Transcript

00:00Oh

00:02No

00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house

00:30I'm Greg Davis a juicy fillet steak of manhood if I do say so myself take the heat off

00:43I'm rare and I'm ready for the plate

00:46Who dares to sit at the table of white-hot competition and complete tasks to make me settle on my judgmental skillet?

00:54Who dares to face my pepper scorn sauce?

01:00Who wants my champion chips enough to risk getting they're just desserts?

01:05Let's find out who they are

01:23A man who told me that on a childhood visit to a fruit farm

01:27He once sneakily ate so many strawberries that he achieved the Holy Grail the unbroken three-foot stool

01:35It's li-li-li-toy!

01:43What a day! What a day that was!

01:45Well, look, it's time for the raffle, everyone, so if you want to get your tickets out at home

01:50Um, do you want to do the honours today, Greg?

01:53Yeah

01:54LAUGHTER

01:55Who's going to win this week's raffle?

01:57Let's find out, so get your tickets out

01:59Oh, it's a pink! It's a pink ticket!

02:01LAUGHTER

02:02528

02:03A pink 528, so, um, get in touch if that's you

02:06Thank you

02:07LAUGHTER

02:09It's the...it's the raffle

02:11It's the raffle

02:12It's the raffle

02:13Incredible, isn't it?

02:14Did you buy a ticket?

02:15I didn't buy a ticket

02:16I bought you a ticket

02:17OK

02:18You want...

02:19You want to check your pockets?

02:21LAUGHTER

02:23This is better!

02:24This is better

02:25Oh, 528

02:27I think 528!

02:28APPLAUSE

02:30You win a hamper, you can have a look there, it's a good hamper, genuinely good

02:34Salt, bin bags, shoe soles, cinnamon sticks

02:36LAUGHTER

02:37Stuff you genuinely want from a hamper

02:39Yeah

02:40OK

02:41Let's get on with the prize task

02:43Bang tidy

02:44And this week the category is

02:45The thing you were least likely to bring in from your home

02:49Ooh

02:50Big fingers crossed here for Lord Lucan

02:52Five points will be given to this person that Greg thinks has brought in

02:56The least likely thing they've brought from their home

02:58But you know how this works, Greg

03:00You're all over the format by now, mate

03:02Don't worry about it

03:07OK

03:08Sanjeev, hello

03:09Hello, can I show you what it is?

03:10Sanjeev has brought this in

03:12Yeah

03:13LAUGHTER

03:15Come on

03:18Did you just have it around?

03:19Or is that...

03:20Is that decanted for the show?

03:22Oh no, that was specially for the show

03:23I mean, I don't have urine samples lying around the house

03:26No

03:27But you have the bottles

03:29Well, yeah

03:30I mean, you never know when you need them

03:31I mean, you know

03:32There's an age at which you have to go

03:33Yeah

03:34Those are doctors quite suddenly

03:35Dip and check

03:36Yep, absolutely

03:37Dip and check

03:38I've got to say, Sanjeev

03:39This marks a real turnaround in your fortunes, I think

03:42Do you think?

03:43Well, the first two shows, your prizes were absolutely sheer

03:45It's very personal

03:47Very

03:48Do you know how he sent us a urine?

03:50Erm...

03:51Nope

03:52We transferred it

03:53LAUGHTER

03:58OK, who's next?

03:59Anya

04:00I've brought in my contraceptive coil

04:03Oh, God

04:06Have a look at this, Greg, here it is

04:08Oh, God

04:09Look at it, look at it

04:10And if she's up there then who's flying the plane?

04:13LAUGHTER

04:20Wait, what's the blue thing?

04:22So there are strings at the bottom of it

04:24And they're basically so you can check it's in place every month

04:26OK

04:27You put a...

04:28I'm not going to...

04:29I don't...

04:30I won't tell you

04:31Don't get all squeamish, you brought it in

04:34Put fingers into your zones

04:36Your zones

04:37And you feel for the strings

04:38And if the strings are there...

04:39Zones

04:40LAUGHTER

04:41The reason that it's very unlikely that I was able to bring this in

04:44is because mine got lost within me

04:46OK

04:47And it took three doctors to get it out

04:49Three

04:50On separate occasions

04:51Not working simultaneously

04:52LAUGHTER

04:53Working simultaneously

04:54They were in different zones

04:55Yeah

05:00Very impressive

05:01Phil

05:02I brought in a lovely clump of asbestos

05:04Here it is

05:06LAUGHTER

05:08What a lovely clump it is

05:09Where did you get the incredibly dangerous material from?

05:14My flat is riddled with it

05:16And erm...

05:17As long as you don't interfere with it

05:19It's quite safe

05:20Yeah

05:22Now I have caused a few issues by rambling around in my walls to pull it out

05:26Yeah, not...

05:27Not least your own slow painful demise

05:30LAUGHTER

05:31But you know, it's what a way to go

05:33LAUGHTER

05:34Old school

05:35Urine, a coil and a death sentence

05:40LAUGHTER

05:41Rhys

05:42So in 1973 there used to be things called public information films

05:45And they would tell children to not get trapped in fridges

05:48And not stand in front of tractors

05:50And there was one in 1973 called The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water

05:55And it was narrated by Donald Pleasance and it was about children that shouldn't play in near water because they would drown

06:01And in that film there is a sign that says no swimming

06:05And in my downstairs toilet I have the sign

06:08Here it is

06:10LAUGHTER

06:12LAUGHTER

06:13So there you go

06:14That's surprising, isn't it?

06:15Lovely

06:16LAUGHTER

06:17Unfortunately, the horror bar has been raised so high

06:20LAUGHTER

06:21It's very mundane now, isn't it?

06:23It's the first thing I see, I think, yeah, I could cope with that

06:26LAUGHTER

06:27Hello, Maisie

06:28I've brought in some... nice and normal

06:30Ah

06:31Yeah, I've brought in all my doors

06:33LAUGHTER

06:34APPLAUSE

06:36Yep

06:37All our intern doors

06:39And I know what you're thinking, that's just a picture of doors with a made-up background

06:44I can show you

06:45Yep, here we go

06:46This is my door in the flat

06:48And I did that when my husband was out

06:51LAUGHTER

06:52And then left

06:53With the doors

06:54So is the text I got from my husband

06:57LAUGHTER

07:00Oh, my God

07:01OK, so it's least likely to bring in from your home, Greg

07:04Well, I mean, I really like your sign

07:06But it's a framed photo, so he can only have one point

07:09Yes

07:10Fair enough

07:11One point

07:12Thank you, Therese

07:13And it's incredible for me to say this

07:14The one that horrified me the least

07:15Was the deadly asbestos

07:17LAUGHTER

07:18Two points to Phil

07:19I'm going to say that...

07:22Maisie's doors are equivalent to Sanjeev's urine

07:25Fuck off!

07:27LAUGHTER

07:28I'm in so much trouble

07:30And you won't get them back unless you win the episode

07:32Oh...

07:33LAUGHTER

07:38OK, he hates it when I do this

07:40But I do think they all are remarkable

07:42That you would bring all three of those things in

07:44So I'll give you all five points

07:45Yay!

07:46CHEERING

07:47One, two, five, five, five

07:48OK

07:49Could I have a touch, please?

07:50Yes, I have one right here

07:52And it involves the greatest sporting team on planet Earth

07:56MUSIC

08:08Hi, Rhys

08:09Hello

08:10Are you coming all the way to me?

08:11Nice to see you

08:12Well, I'm coming to you, yeah

08:13Lovely to see you

08:14You can stand behind the barrel, that'll be great

08:15What? A barrel?

08:16Ahem

08:17Ahem

08:18Make the most accurate little model

08:20Of the Chesham

08:21Chesham

08:22The Chesham United mascot

08:24So the locals call it Chesham

08:26Ah

08:27But if you've only just arrived there, Chesham is OK

08:29OK, that's good to know

08:31You may only see what is inside two of the toilet tents

08:34Oh, I thought it was spray tans

08:37Toilets

08:38Yeah, five toilet tents

08:39You have ten minutes

08:41Your time starts now

08:43Go generals

08:45Go generals

08:47Oh!

08:48Thank God

08:49You know

08:50The one thing I like is mascots

08:52Well, I hate football, I don't know anything about it

08:55So I can't do it

08:57APPLAUSE

08:58OK, so Chesham United is the team that you're a director on, right?

09:05Mm-hm, yeah, but there's no conflict of interest

09:07We're just...

09:08Well, it's funny you should say that

09:10But when I read that you were doing this

09:12I genuinely contacted a lawyer friend of mine

09:14And he has informed me that you talking about it as the director of Chesham United is a clear breach of the UK code of broadcast advertising, the BCAP code, sections 2, 4 and 10

09:27And as a result you genuinely could be in legal trouble

09:31Ah!

09:32You've never done that much research about any aspect of this show

09:35I know

09:36I was absolutely thrilled

09:39LAUGHTER

09:40OK, well, there's a little joke here, but it doesn't feel appropriate

09:42Here we go then

09:43And if you're a rap fan, you're going to love Rhys, Anya and Phil's initials

09:48LAUGHTER

09:50I'm hoping the Chesham United mascot will be in one of the three tenths

09:56One of the five tenths

09:57Oh, hello!

09:58LAUGHTER

10:00Ooh, OK, that's heavy

10:03Lovely

10:04What we've got here is treasure chest

10:06Lovely

10:07That's nice

10:08Chest

10:09Chesham now

10:10What would be great now is if a child I didn't know I had came out

10:13LAUGHTER

10:16There's an actual person there that scared the crap out of me

10:19Oh! Oh, my God, there's someone in there

10:21Are you the Chesham United mascot?

10:23This is amazing

10:24Have I nailed the task?

10:26Bear with me

10:27Come on

10:28Come on

10:29Come on, dearly, let's have a laugh

10:30We've got a game of chess

10:32Yes

10:33This is...

10:34Urgh

10:35Ham

10:36Chess

10:37Ham

10:38Oh, OK, I think that's the pig who's the mascot

10:41And I've got to make a small pig

10:43Oh, my God

10:44He's got a plant pot on his head

10:46Oh, it's a chess piece

10:47Are you the mascot?

10:51I don't know what that is

10:52I'm going to take it

10:53You've either had a stroke or you're very much the mascot

10:55Come on, baby

10:56Daddy needs some new shoes

11:00Go Generals

11:01Yeah

11:02I mean, what does it mean?

11:03How am I meant to, in isolation, understand what that means?

11:05That's the nickname of the football team

11:07Well, I told you I hated football

11:08Right

11:09Do you know what?

11:11Please be careful

11:14Oh

11:15Right

11:16Oh, that's half your time up

11:17That's half my time

11:19Oh, this is great, isn't it?

11:21I've got half the time left and now you're giving me scissors

11:24And face paint

11:26It's... it's... playtime

11:27It's plasticine

11:28I know

11:29That could be his face

11:33I'm going to make a football

11:34Do you think the mascot of the football team is a football?

11:36Right, yeah

11:37I see that it might not be

11:40I'm changing it

11:41I'm changing it

11:42I'm changing it to a helmet

11:43I'm very aware at this very late stage

11:45That I may have taken it for granted that that is the Chesham County mascot

11:49You're pretty insistent that it's a county

11:55I may have got football muddled up with territorial army

11:58Five seconds

11:59Five seconds

12:00Oh, no! I'm from Chesham Town

12:03Go Generals

12:09It's the usual bubbling rage during that

12:11Yeah

12:12But my favourite moment of the whole task

12:15Was just a moment of joy from you

12:17Where I think we got the answer to the question

12:20What will we do when David Dickinson retires?

12:24What we got here is treasure chest

12:26LAUGHTER

12:33Simple as that

12:35So the pig was the mascot

12:37What?

12:38It's the official Chesham mascot

12:39And the bear was a red herring

12:41OK, so Phil came up with this

12:42Oh, there he is

12:44There's that pig we all know and love

12:48Flaking onto the pitch

12:50Incredible

12:51That would fool a seasoned farmer

12:53I don't think so

12:55Rhys came up with this

12:59LAUGHTER

13:03It's pretty good

13:05Have you ever thought I'd be saying the sentence

13:07That's not as good as Phil's?

13:11Well, Anya did try to make the pig and she made this

13:14Oh!

13:17That is pretty good

13:18Compare that to the real mascots

13:19Yeah

13:20That's good

13:21APPLAUSE

13:22Thank you

13:24OK, my friends

13:25That's the end of part one

13:26More mascot monstrosities will be made

13:29After some adverts to highlight the downward spiral of humanity

13:33Work, spend, die!

13:35APPLAUSE

13:45Hello, hello, hello again

13:47Welcome back to Taskmaster

13:50Hello, sorry Greg

13:51As my gran always said

13:52You can't hurry slurry

13:54LAUGHTER

13:56Before the break

13:57The rivals were trying to craft the most accurate version

14:00Of the Chesham mascot

14:03And they could only peep inside two of the tents for tips

14:06Finally, it's the turn of Sanjeev and Maisie

14:09Now, Maisie has of course

14:10Had a huge advantage for this one

14:12Having played football

14:13At the Chesham ground

14:14Genuinely

14:15Where the mascot was first unveiled

14:17This is the picture of Maisie with the mascot on the pitch

14:20There we go

14:22You bastard

14:24Go generals

14:26That's a clue

14:27Or a red herring

14:28Whatever you want, Sanjeev

14:32Bit creepy

14:33Oh, that's got something big there

14:36OK

14:37LAUGHTER

14:38LAUGHTER

14:39LAUGHTER

14:40LAUGHTER

14:41LAUGHTER

14:48No, these two

14:50LAUGHTER

14:51Do you need that back up?

14:53Right

14:55LAUGHTER

14:57Is there someone in that?

15:01Is that a per...

15:02Ah!

15:04You are no good

15:05Generals!

15:06Stand up

15:07Is there anything else?

15:10God's sake

15:11I was counting on you

15:14Thank you very much

15:15Not at all creepy

15:16LAUGHTER

15:17If you can sit yourself down it

15:22OK

15:24What's the number?

15:25What's the number?

15:27Pig, look for a four digit number

15:29It'll be somewhere I'm sure

15:33You wouldn't mind putting one hand

15:36There

15:37Please don't break the box

15:38Yes!

15:40Yes!

15:42If you could just point that way

15:46This hand

15:47And point that way

15:49You need to salute like a general

15:51Yeah?

15:52Yeah, you've got that

15:53See it?

15:54You're smashing it, mate

15:55Wait there

15:56That's general

16:01That's general

16:03Go general!

16:06Come on

16:12You've actually run next to the mascot

16:15Which is a pig with a chess piece on its head

16:19And you have no recollection of it?

16:21It was a busy week

16:22That week

16:23Other things on

16:24Lot of pigs

16:25Lot of chess pieces

16:26Lot of pigs, yeah

16:27It's more common in the modern game than you'd think

16:30You know, your attempt would be worrying if it weren't for

16:33Sanjeev

16:34God forgive me, but someone's got to point it out

16:36You made the pig do a Nazi thing

16:41They're all thinking it

16:43No, that was the general's bit

16:44It was the pig was leading the charge

16:46Because they, you can't

16:48They had no fingers

16:49And you couldn't point

16:50So in summary

16:51Yes

16:52You created a new mascot

16:53Involving the pig

16:54The bear

16:55And the donkey

16:56No, I didn't create a new mascot

16:58I involved the mascot

16:59In a new tableau

17:01Suggesting

17:02Oh, yeah

17:03That's what you were asked to do as well

17:05Evolve the mascot

17:07Into a new tableau

17:08Was that known in wording?

17:09It was make the most accurate little model

17:11Of the Chesham United mascot

17:13Yeah, that's great

17:14That was smaller than one I was going for

17:15OK, do you want to see all five mascots with them real mascots?

17:19I mean, not really

17:20Yep

17:21OK

17:22The real one's bottom right

17:23I'm surprised that Sanjeev isn't further right

17:25Actually

17:30Sanjeev's made the mascot bigger

17:33And more racially hateful

17:35So one to Sanjeev's

17:37I'm not sure about racially hateful

17:38I'm going to have to take a look at the diversity in mine

17:43Compared to any other picture

17:47It's a good point

17:48So two to Maisie

17:49Because she hasn't made it smaller

17:50And she hasn't recreated it

17:51She's just taped a sign to it

17:53I mean, Reese's is definitely smaller than the original mascot

17:57But has absolutely nothing to do with it

18:00You're telling me that that is less like a pig than Phil's

18:04Hey!

18:05He's got a point

18:06I'm sorry, but I have to say it

18:07I think mine looks more like the pig

18:08No

18:09And it's even got a little chest piece on the top

18:11What are you talking about?

18:12Look at me

18:13I think if I squint at both of them

18:15I see more of the shape of the mascot in Phil's

18:18Thank you

18:19Because you're looking at the full body

18:21I'm looking at the full body

18:22Yeah, yeah

18:23I get you

18:25I take your point

18:26But you can have three

18:27Phil can have four

18:28And five sweet points

18:30To Anya Magliano

18:35I give this time for Scoreboy

18:37Me too

18:38Anya is the only one in double figures

18:39She's in the lead with ten points

18:45I've had a team fast

18:46Well, get ready for one of my favourites of all time

18:49Which is a big statement

18:50Because I genuinely

18:51Have almost zero opinions on anything

18:53I'm a really bland guy

19:07We're back in here

19:08Hi

19:09Yep, couple of chairs there

19:10Lovely

19:11Hello

19:12Hello

19:13How's the team?

19:14Really good

19:15Good, bonding

19:16Working well together

19:17Yeah, we think so

19:18So far

19:19I think that's true

19:20Right

19:21Ahem

19:22Discover the name of the person in the lab

19:27You must take it in turns to ask one question

19:30And the person may only say yes or no

19:33The other team members must remain in this room

19:36Until the questioner returns

19:38Each person in your team must address the person in the lab

19:41By the correct name before the task is complete

19:44Fastest wins

19:45Your time starts now

19:48I'll go ask the question

19:49OK

19:50All right, cool

19:51Right, shall I go and ask if their name begins with a vowel?

19:54With a vowel

19:55Is that clever?

19:56OK, yeah

19:57Go on

19:58You get thinking of your next question, Rhys

20:00OK

20:01A-E-I-O-U

20:03Oh, you

20:04Yeah

20:09Well, that's the main takeaway, isn't it, really

20:11The main takeaway from the introduction of this is that

20:15Maisie and Rhys think vowels are clever

20:18And Rhys is incredibly keen to point out that he knows them

20:24Let's crack on, let's see how clever they are

20:26OK, well, we are going to start with a team of two

20:28It is Rhys and it is Maisie

20:30Here we go

20:35Hiya

20:36Hi

20:37Does your name begin with a vowel?

20:39No

20:40No

20:41So we've got all the consonants to play with?

20:42Yep

20:43What do you think the next question should be?

20:45Are you any of the women in the song Mambo No. 5?

20:48I know them all

20:49Good, OK

20:50Monica

20:51Jessica

20:52Hello

20:54Is your name any of the women in the song Mambo No. 5?

20:58No

20:59No

21:00Oh

21:01How many have we eliminated out of women's names in the world?

21:03I think six

21:04Good

21:05How can we narrow down women's names?

21:07B to P?

21:09Does your name begin with any of the letters from A to P in the alphabet?

21:13Yes

21:14It does, it does

21:15B to G

21:17Does your name, hi

21:18Does your name begin with B to G?

21:20No

21:21Raise it G to P

21:23Oh

21:24Is it a K?

21:25Does your name start with a K?

21:26No

21:27Thank you

21:28Does your name begin with L?

21:30Yeah

21:31Yes

21:32It's L

21:33It's L

21:34OK

21:35Not Lisa, Lisa's in Mambo No. 5

21:36OK

21:37Is it Laura?

21:38No

21:39Thank you

21:40Is your name Louise?

21:41Yeah

21:42Yes, it's Louise

21:43Louise

21:44It's Louise

21:45Stop the clock

21:46Yes

21:47You haven't completed the task

21:48OK

21:49Each person in your team must address the person in the lab by the correct name before the task is complete

21:54Just say hi Louise

21:55I will

21:56Hi Louise

21:58Hi Louise

21:59Hi Louise

22:00No

22:01It's not

22:02It's not Louise

22:04Eh?

22:05He's really angry, he's really angry

22:08What does it mean?

22:09She just said to me her name was Louise

22:11What?

22:12Don't say, is your name Louise

22:13I did that last time

22:14Is your name Louise?

22:19Yes

22:20Yes

22:21Rhys

22:25And she said yes

22:26Ugh

22:27All the names in the world we got down to Louise and it's not

22:29Yeah

22:30Shall we maybe try to stay a bit calm?

22:32Yeah

22:33Yeah

22:34Yeah

22:35Calm and collected

22:37Hello Louise

22:38Are you lying about your name?

22:40No

22:41OK

22:42We're missing something here

22:43Yeah

22:44What are we missing?

22:45Yeah

22:46Rhys

22:47Could it be a different person in the lab?

22:49Rhymes

22:50Rhymes

22:51Rhymes

22:52Rhymes

22:53Rhymes

22:54Rhymes

22:55Rhymes

22:56Rhymes

22:57Rhymes

22:58Rhymes

22:59Rhymes

23:00Rhymes

23:01Rhymes

23:02Rhymes

23:03Rhymes

23:04Rhymes

23:05Rhymes

23:06Rhymes

23:07What are you found?

23:08They're twins, they're fucking twins

23:11They keep swapping them out

23:13Look behind the door

23:14Look behind the door

23:15They're swapping them out

23:16Yes

23:19Yeah

23:20I'm on to you now

23:22That's alright

23:26I put a piece of sellotape on her

23:28Does your sister's name begin with J?

23:30No

23:31No

23:32Does your sister's name begin with K?

23:34No

23:35You're not asking sister's name as well, are you?

23:37I'm going, is your sister's name

23:39Is your sister's name?

23:40Yeah, and I'm saying it's your sister's name

23:41Oh, fuck off, no

23:42That's wrong, isn't it?

23:44You've been asking about her sister

23:46It's very confusing when there's twins

23:48Does your name begin with an L?

23:50Yes

23:51It does

23:52It does?

23:53I think I've got it

23:54Warren

23:55No

23:56Is her name Lynn?

23:57No

23:58No, of course not

23:59Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house

24:02Is the second letter of your sister's name a consonant?

24:06Yes

24:07What about L-U?

24:09That's a power

24:10Oh, yes, that's right, yes

24:11What else can you add on to Lynn to make a name?

24:14Lindsay

24:15Is it Lindsay?

24:16Have we had it?

24:17No, Lindsay

24:18With a Y

24:21Is your name Lindsay?

24:22Yes

24:23I've done the clock

24:25That's it

24:26We'll do it

24:28I mean I have so many questions

24:36I guess I'll start with

24:38Why was your go-to system mambo number five?

24:43I just tried to think of something where there's loads of women's names in one go

24:48It allowed us later in the game to eradicate Lisa from the situation

24:51Yeah, but Lisa's not in the song

24:52There she is

24:53Monica, Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra, Mary and Jessica

24:56Alright, so she's not in the song?

24:57Doesn't matter does it? Even you reading them out like that made me want to go

25:02A lot of the time you appeared as someone who was scared of her partner

25:15Rhys is terrifying, I'll just say that

25:17At one point, almost to yourself you went, he's really angry

25:21He's not angry, he's...

25:23Disappointed

25:25Didn't they say we were a good team?

25:27We were a good team

25:28Yeah

25:29He's like, good cop, furious cop

25:31Well

25:33Well

25:34It looked like it took forever

25:3644 minutes 30, a lovely massage

25:3844 minutes?

25:40What I'd like to think now, before I throw to break

25:43Is that you'd be able to play in mambo number five

25:47And I know you haven't got it

25:49But what I'm going to do is I'm going to read the link to break

25:52Imagining it is playing

25:54OK

25:56It's time for a much-needed break, we'll see you in a minute

26:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

26:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

26:12Hello

26:13Welcome back

26:14It's part three, a taskmaster

26:16And we're in the middle of a fiendish, a tricky team task

26:19Mmm, it's not that tricky, Greg

26:21I think some people are just thick

26:23And at last

26:24I've got an opinion

26:26But now it's time to see how the team of three got on

26:29It's Anya, Phil and Sanjeef

26:32Oh, hello

26:33Hi

26:36Is your name... Thompson?

26:38No

26:42Are you all right?

26:43Yeah

26:44Is that my question?

26:45Yeah, out you come

26:46It doesn't begin from A to G

26:50Not H, R or J

26:52Either K or L

26:53Yes

26:54It doesn't begin with a K

26:55So it begins with an L

26:56Yeah

26:57Is your name Louise?

26:58No

26:59It's not Louise

27:00Is there a U?

27:01No

27:06Snooker queue

27:07Snooker clue

27:10Right

27:12Billiards snooker

27:14Q

27:15Right

27:16Is the second letter E?

27:18No

27:22Are any letters repeated?

27:25No

27:26There must be a quicker way to do this

27:28I'll say, can you say yes when I point to the right letter?

27:31That's good

27:32That's good

27:33That's really clever

27:34Aye

27:35The third letter of your name

27:36Yes

27:37Oh, right, thank you

27:38I think it is Louise

27:40I think they're lying

27:41It's you

27:42No, I asked her if there was a U in her name and she said no

27:44And then she's a damn liar

27:46The next letter is D

27:49Loud

27:51This isn't a name

27:52It's called Loud

27:54Yes

27:55E?

27:56It's an E

27:58Loud

28:00Okay, I'll just go for it

28:01Makes no sense

28:02Is that wrong?

28:03Yes

28:04Guys, it's not

28:05We've gone wrong

28:06This has put me off making new people

28:09The second last letter

28:12Yes

28:13Okay

28:14I asked about double letters before and you said there weren't any

28:17That's a double letter

28:19This is like insane

28:21Why is nothing making sense?

28:23What the hell is going on?

28:27Okay, guys

28:28I said are there clues as to how we can get your name somewhere and she said yes

28:32Oh, Thompson

28:33Thompson

28:34I was just thinking Thompson Twins

28:36Got it

28:38Is it in any way connected to the Thompson Twins?

28:41Yes

28:42It is

28:43She's a twin

28:44They're twins

28:45Twins are identical

28:46They don't have any idea

28:47They're repetition

28:48Is it a name that sounds like

28:49Oh

28:50She's going to be like

28:52Please say something good

28:54Oh, God, I'm so panicked

29:04Oh

29:05Hi

29:06There's two of them

29:07There's two of them

29:08There's two of them

29:09There's one behind the curtain

29:10They're twins

29:11Oh, they keep swapping

29:12They're twins

29:13So Louise is probably right, I bet

29:14For one

29:15Yeah

29:16We'll just keep going instead of your name Louise

29:18We'll see what happens

29:20Is your name Louise?

29:21No

29:23Who did Phil ask?

29:25Are you Louise?

29:26No

29:31Is your name Louise?

29:32No

29:33No, this one's not Louise either

29:36Okay, here we go

29:37Louise

29:38Yes

29:39Yes

29:40Yes

29:41It's a swap

29:42Is your name Louise?

29:43No

29:44I was going to ask again

29:45Is your name Louise?

29:46Yes

29:47Brilliant, nice one, thanks

29:48Are you having a nice time?

29:50Yes

29:53Hello

29:54Hi

29:55Are you Louise?

29:56Yes

29:57I've done the clock

30:02Something that sums up the whole attempt was

30:04And you're looking at Phil and going

30:06Please say something good

30:10While Sanjeev was just sighing periodically

30:15It felt like Sanjeev was babysitting us

30:18You didn't have to find out both their names

30:19You just had to say the name of the person in the lab

30:21So you all got Louise, you never found out Lindsay's name

30:24You took 19 and a half minutes longer than the other team

30:27One hour and three minutes

30:29Aw, A-range, dream team

30:30Dream team

30:31Dream team

30:32One hour and three minutes

30:33And also at the end, Phil went in twice in a row

30:35And you didn't take any turns at the end

30:37There's that damn snooker cube

30:39This has got a sting for you, Sanjeev, hasn't it?

30:42Do you know what?

30:43You just have to sit back

30:44Let the kids play

30:47And you know, at some point the parents will come back

30:49And you get paid and you go home

30:52Remarkably, Maisie and Rhys have definitely won

30:54So well done you

30:55Five points for Maisie and Rhys

30:56Do you want to get any points?

31:01Oh, I think

31:02I'll give you one or two

31:03I just haven't decided which yet

31:05OK, when are you going to do that?

31:09I'll take one

31:11Because it was my fault

31:12And I'd really like the other two to have two points

31:14If you think

31:15Wow

31:16Do you know what, Phil?

31:17I agree

31:18That is so lovely

31:19Thank you

31:20Wow

31:21That is lovely

31:22And sportsmanlike

31:23And if you want one point

31:24I agree

31:25I agree

31:26The whole team should have

31:27APPLAUSE

31:28One point for the sting of three

31:32Right now

31:35Let's have another task

31:36Thank you for the opportunity, Greg

31:37Right then, everyone

31:38Come with me

31:39And let's have some good old-fashioned fun

31:41And games

31:42In the hutch

31:43Ooh

31:44Thator

31:46Another

31:59National

32:04Traditional looking game

32:06It's a brand new game

32:07Oh, right, OK

32:08It looks like an old game to me, but...

32:11Create your own snakes and steps board.

32:15You must add one snake and one set of steps.

32:18You must also add one mystery box.

32:21Ooh.

32:22The instruction inside the mystery box is up to you.

32:24You have ten minutes, your time starts now.

32:27Ow.

32:29Oh, he really will stretch, won't he?

32:31Oops.

32:32Yep.

32:33Right, here we go.

32:35So, we're going to make some steps.

32:38They can grow back, anyway.

32:42I look at it like life.

32:43You go, oh, well, first put on that old property step.

32:49Here I go.

32:50Oh!

32:52The mystery box?

32:53And this is just any rule?

32:55Yeah.

32:56So, you've got to do whatever this says.

32:57Mm-hm.

33:03That's going in the mystery box.

33:04And what number's that going on?

33:05It's on number 70.

33:0747, 48, 61, 62.

33:09It's a mystery.

33:10Thank you very much.

33:11Excellent, thank you.

33:12Look forward to playing your game.

33:13Er, you're on your own.

33:14APPLAUSE

33:16Anya thinks that if you cut a snake in half, it grows back.

33:20It does?

33:21No, it doesn't.

33:22OK.

33:23A worm?

33:24Sure.

33:25If you cut a snake in half, it dies.

33:29They're basically the same sort of guy.

33:31The film Worms on a Plane is not a...

33:33APPLAUSE

33:39OK, Greg, it's time to supersize things while at the same time

33:42gaining further insight into Maisie Adams' memory.

33:45Ooh.

33:46Ooh.

33:47Oh, for fuck's sake.

34:01Hello.

34:02Ooh.

34:03Oh.

34:04I remember this.

34:05Does it ring any bells?

34:06No.

34:07No, but I'm willing to venture into the unknown.

34:13Win Snakes and Steps.

34:15This isn't the one I designed, though, is it?

34:17Well...

34:18Is it?

34:19Players will move from youngest to oldest.

34:22Players.

34:24Which players?

34:25So, you're up against four other comedians.

34:27Oh, right.

34:28You must throw the die properly each time,

34:31and you must not tamper with the die.

34:33If you land on the head of a snake,

34:35you must slither down to its tail.

34:37I know the rules.

34:38If you land at the base of a step, you've got to climb it.

34:41If you land on the mystery box,

34:43you must do what it says.

34:45First to land exactly on the finishing seat wins.

34:48Your time starts...

34:50..now.

34:51And you'll be going fourth in the game because of your age.

34:54Oh, Christ.

34:55LAUGHTER

34:57Which number do you think you'll be throwing?

35:00The...thanks.

35:01Mum taken.

35:02APPLAUSE

35:06So, we've combined all their...

35:08That's what I was about to ask, just to clarify.

35:10Go for it.

35:11So, that was all of them.

35:12That was all of them and one big bolt.

35:13Everybody's attempts.

35:14It's worth noting that Phil's steps started at 11, 12, 13 and 14

35:19and went up to 71, the penultimate square,

35:22where his snake met the ladder and took you all the way back down

35:25to the beginning.

35:26But I presumed you would all think you would have to do it later on.

35:29None of you did.

35:31So, you have no recollection of that whatsoever.

35:34There was a lot of weeks between when I did the one in the hutch

35:37and coming to that race course.

35:39Yeah, three.

35:41LAUGHTER

35:43OK, we're stopping for another break.

35:45In the final part of the show, someone will go home with all

35:48of the doors from Maisie Adams' home.

35:51LAUGHTER

35:52Don't worry, she won't remember.

35:54LAUGHTER

35:55We'll see you in a minute.

35:57APPLAUSE

36:06Hello.

36:08And welcome to the final part of the show.

36:10And if you think Tipping Point is exciting, get ready,

36:13cos you're about to see a giant game of Snakes and Steps.

36:17And also, you're wrong about Tipping Point.

36:19LAUGHTER

36:20That is bang out of order, Greg.

36:22Shout-out to Ben Shepard.

36:23Love you, bro. Seriously.

36:25LAUGHTER

36:27Now, for the game we've all been waiting for,

36:28and we're going to see four of them playing it.

36:30That's everyone apart from Rhys.

36:32And Rhys knows why.

36:35LAUGHTER

36:36Who do you think the youngest is, Anya?

36:37Me.

36:38You get to go first.

36:39Yes!

36:41Five!

36:43That's a five.

36:47Oh, that was lame. So I'm here.

36:48Correct.

36:50Come on, Daddy needs some new shoes.

36:52It's gone overboard.

36:54Six!

36:55That's good, that.

36:56Yeah.

36:57I think it's a six, innit?

36:58Why is it a six?

36:59Just nod the camera if you can see a six.

37:02We're on a six, baby!

37:03You're taking that as a six.

37:04One, two, three, four, five, six.

37:06That ladder goes all the way up to 71.

37:08Oh, really?

37:09Five.

37:10Three.

37:11Oh, these are ladders.

37:12Oh, these are from mine.

37:13Mm-hm.

37:15Oh, I know what's going to happen.

37:16What's going to happen, Phil?

37:17Can I throw this anywhere on the floor?

37:18Ideally, we'll sort of just in front of you here.

37:21OK.

37:22Oh, you've got to the base of some steps.

37:23Right.

37:24Yeah, you're at number 71.

37:25That was a good move.

37:26OK.

37:27Can I throw it here?

37:28Oh, unfortunately, you're actually on a snake there.

37:30Well, that's kind of useless.

37:32That's a daft game.

37:33I agree with you.

37:34Shall I just start again?

37:35Well, I think you have to, yeah.

37:36Why don't you put a ladder up to where you're going to have a snake?

37:39You're going to have to ask Phil.

37:41Phil?

37:42Phil Ellis.

37:43Did he design the course?

37:44Because that's favouritism if you're letting some of us design it.

37:48Whoever put a snake there is an absolute moron.

37:51Oh, no, there's a snake.

37:52Phil snake.

37:53Phil is a snake.

37:54Right, welcome back to the start.

37:55You do have an extra throw because you've got a six.

37:59Three.

38:00Three.

38:01Three.

38:02Three.

38:03Three.

38:04One, two, three.

38:05I think that goes to the end.

38:06Hey!

38:08That's Anya's ladder.

38:09Where does it take you?

38:10To the finish.

38:12Congratulations, Maisie.

38:14Why is it Anya's ladder, though?

38:15Don't worry about that.

38:17Come on.

38:18Congratulations.

38:19That is the end of Snakes and Steps.

38:21I feel sorry for the amount of set-up,

38:23for the amount of length of time that took, really.

38:25I feel guilty.

38:30I mean, I don't want to make you paranoid,

38:32but it is incredible, isn't it?

38:33I'm worried now.

38:34I think I need to get checked.

38:36So, Phil basically ruined everyone.

38:39But luckily, Anya had put one on number four,

38:41and they all threw a three, which got them to four,

38:43and they got to the end pretty quick.

38:44Very competitive.

38:45Mm.

38:46But why has Rhys been singled out?

38:48Exactly.

38:49Wow!

38:50Brush your teeth.

38:51Grab a sleeping bag.

38:52It is time for Rhys's attempt,

38:55with thanks, of course, to Phil Ellis.

38:57Here we go.

38:58Oh, no!

39:00OK.

39:01Oh, you're at the base of a ladder.

39:02She goes all the way up to here.

39:05Oh, now I only need one.

39:08No, you don't, because where are you now?

39:10Isn't that the end?

39:11That's just one.

39:12That's the end, yeah, but there's something else on 71.

39:14Who put that there?

39:18Phil.

39:23Four.

39:24Four.

39:25So, you're going up your own ladder.

39:26Oh, is it secure?

39:28No.

39:31Oh, it's a tree box.

39:32Oh, look at it.

39:33Yeah, that's exciting.

39:34Urgh!

39:35Urgh!

39:36You are bitten by a snake.

39:38I need an antidote, and it's found on square nine.

39:41Do you remember who wrote that?

39:42I think I wrote it, didn't I?

39:43Thirdly five.

39:46They're all doing this.

39:48Yeah.

39:52Urgh!

39:53I'm all right now.

39:54Great.

39:55Four.

39:56Ah, there's quite a big ladder.

39:57Oh, yep.

40:04Do you want to hand?

40:05No!

40:06I don't!

40:07You're going up Phil's ladder.

40:09But now I'm on Phil's snake?

40:10Yep.

40:11Does it activate again?

40:12It's not a single-use snake.

40:13Not a single-use snake.

40:16Oh, fuck.

40:17And then there's a five, okay?

40:18Three, four, five.

40:19Up to the top of there, down there.

40:21Four!

40:22Up the ladder, down the snake, back to the start.

40:24There we go again.

40:25Up the ladder, down the snake, back to the start.

40:27Done with this.

40:28One.

40:29One.

40:30Oh.

40:31Maze's ladder.

40:32Yeah.

40:33Can this be one?

40:34Will I ever be able to end it?

40:35Yeah, just with the right attitude.

40:36What do you mean?

40:37What's that supposed to mean?

40:38I've got to roll again, but I'm going to look at this.

40:41Hey, mate.

40:42Read the next one.

40:44Read the next note.

40:46Who did this?

40:47Phil.

40:48Go back to the start.

40:49Him could deserve this.

40:50I just did an antidote thing.

40:51It didn't affect anybody.

40:52I'm sorry.

40:53Back down.

40:54Four.

40:55Nice.

40:56So you just need a five or a six?

40:57What did you say?

40:58A five or a six?

40:59Mm-hmm.

41:00Okay.

41:01Five.

41:02Five.

41:03Great.

41:04You cleared the ladder.

41:05Two.

41:06That's fine.

41:0717.

41:08Three.

41:09Six.

41:10Six.

41:11Thirty-three.

41:12Five.

41:13Four.

41:14Six.

41:15Two.

41:16Three.

41:17Three.

41:18Five.

41:19Five.

41:20You've got to throw a seven.

41:21Three.

41:22Six.

41:23Six.

41:24Thirty-three.

41:25Five.

41:26Four.

41:27Six.

41:28Three.

41:29You've got to throw a seven to finish.

41:30I need a seven.

41:34Six.

41:38That's the worst you could have thrown.

41:41What's that again?

41:42I did tell you what you needed.

41:44The four is in this.

41:45It's just a bouncy stupid thing with your numbers on it.

41:47No.

41:48Spin down the stairs.

41:49Three.

41:50Four.

41:51You're at the base of Anya's ladder.

41:52And then I come all the way down.

41:53Follow it up and see what happens.

41:59Oh, my God.

42:00Oh, my God.

42:07I do not...

42:08I thought...

42:09Can we swap seats?

42:13I mean, I've suggested there's a bumbling rage in you, Rhys,

42:16but I thought you were remarkably well-humoured, considering.

42:19Thank you, yeah.

42:20Except when you went, it's just a bouncy stupid thing with numbers on.

42:26I thought maybe the cracks were starting to show then.

42:29It was a lot of bad luck in that.

42:30It looked like it took a lifetime.

42:32Yeah, I mean, it's not even about speed, it's the number of rolls,

42:34but it did take 42 minutes.

42:36So, same as with the twins, really.

42:38How many rolls?

42:4032 throws.

42:4232...

42:43And you did it in three and two and three?

42:45Yeah, two...

42:46Well, there's a system, you know, won't you know?

42:48Avoid the snake, really.

42:53Not rocket science, mate.

42:58Reeves gets one point.

42:59Two points to Anya, three throws, three points to Phil,

43:02but they both got two throws, so they get five points each.

43:05The winners are Maisie and Sanjee.

43:12It is, of course, now time to head to the stage

43:14for the final task of the show!

43:24Who will be reading the task yet?

43:25Reece Shearsmith, please.

43:28Turn your cup triangle completely upside down.

43:32Oh!

43:33Your upside down cup triangle must be freestanding

43:36and you must obey the instructions written on each layer.

43:40If any cups fall, you must completely start again.

43:44Mm-hm.

43:45You may not affect other people's cup triangles.

43:50Wait, what do you... What does it mean?

43:51I'm not finished.

43:52Oh.

43:54Fastest wins.

43:55On your marks.

43:58Get set.

44:00And they're off.

44:02Right hand behind back.

44:03Oh, barracks.

44:05This is interesting.

44:08Right eye shut.

44:09Right eye shut.

44:10She's bypassed the first two instructions.

44:12There's no rules against that, I suppose.

44:14Right foot off the ground.

44:16What?

44:17Right foot off the ground.

44:18Right foot off the ground.

44:19Oh.

44:21So you need to rebuild your triangle.

44:23Then, fuck off!

44:29Oh, Sanjeev!

44:30Mouth open, tongue out groaning.

44:32Err!

44:33Err!

44:34Err!

44:35Err!

44:36Oh, that's...

44:37Oh, fuck!

44:38Oh!

44:39Oh!

44:40If you could start again, please, Maisie.

44:41You could start again, please, Maisie.

44:46Oh!

44:47Lovely!

44:48Right foot off the ground.

44:51Err!

44:52I'm very sorry to say that Reece has not turned it upside down.

44:58She's turned hers upside down.

45:00What?

45:03Oh, Reece.

45:04The cups are the wrong way up.

45:05Oh, God!

45:07Err!

45:09Err!

45:11Err!

45:12Err!

45:13Err!

45:14Err!

45:15Err!

45:16Err!

45:17Err!

45:18Err!

45:19Err!

45:20Err!

45:21Err!

45:23Err!

45:24Err!

45:25Err!

45:26Err!

45:27Should we get the medics?

45:28Have a look at Maisie?

45:29Err!

45:30Err!

45:31She's not going to remember any of this.

45:32Err!

45:33Err!

45:34Err!

45:35Err!

45:36Err!

45:37Err!

45:38Err!

45:39Err!

45:40Err!

45:41Err!

45:42Err!

45:43Err!

45:44Err!

45:45Err!

45:46Err!

45:47Err!

45:48Err!

45:49Err!

45:50Err!

45:51Err!

45:52Wonderful.

45:53We'll end back to your final scores.

45:54Come down and join me!

45:55APPLAUSE

46:00Wow.

46:01Mmm.

46:02That's exciting stuff.

46:03Yes.

46:04So, Rhys got one point on that one.

46:05Maisie, two.

46:06Sanjeev, three.

46:07Phil, four.

46:08But the winner of the task was Anya with five points.

46:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

46:11I'm sorry.

46:12I'm sorry.

46:13I'm sorry.

46:14But the winner of the episode, with 19 points, it is...

46:18Maisie Adams!

46:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

46:22Maisie Adams wins!

46:25Please, high cut to the stage for your unlikely high cut private!

46:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

46:31So, what have we learnt today?

46:35Well, I believe we've learnt the very definition of victory.

46:39Is it the person with the most points?

46:41No.

46:42Is it the person who heads home with the prizes?

46:44No.

46:45The definition of victory is getting a fellow competitor

46:48to take home a vial of your own piss.

46:52We'll see you next time, but for now, here's the episode winner,

46:55Maisie Adams!

46:56APPLAUSE

Category

Transcript

Be the first to comment

Recommended