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Taskmaster (2015) Season 20 Episode 7 - Drier Than You Think, Chalk
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FunTranscript
00:00Oh, no!
00:05Hello?
00:13Hey!
00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:30APPLAUSE
00:34Hello there. I'm Greg Davies. Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38They say it's not the winning that counts, it's the taking part.
00:41And if you're a child watching the pre-Watershed version of this show,
00:44I'm here to tell you an uncomfortable truth.
00:47You're being told that because you're not good enough.
00:51That's the kids sorted. Now...
00:55Let's see if we can break some adults.
00:57Please welcome Anya Magliano!
01:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:02Maziana!
01:04Phil Ennis!
01:06Rich Shearsmith!
01:08And Sandy Baskar!
01:14And next to me, a man who secretly told me,
01:16and I really must distance myself from comments like this,
01:19that he thinks that women are like electric vehicles.
01:22Really good, as long as they're not in charge.
01:25LAUGHTER
01:27He has no return!
01:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:32Hello, everyone.
01:34How are you feeling?
01:35I'm feeling good.
01:36Unfortunately, lurgy!
01:37You've got the lurgy now.
01:38No returns!
01:39No returns.
01:40I've had that for two months.
01:42You've now got it?
01:43You can't get me.
01:45Oh, cheese touch, bad luck.
01:46Can't get me.
01:48You're now a social outcast.
01:50Cheese touch?
01:51Yeah, yeah.
01:52Oh, no.
01:53You've got loads of up dog on your waistcoat.
01:55What's up dog?
01:56Norman Bartsch, what about you?
01:58LAUGHTER
01:59APPLAUSE
02:00That has killed the atmosphere.
02:06LAUGHTER
02:07What's the prize task?
02:08You've been very specific, yet incredibly vague with this one, Greg.
02:12They've been asked to bring in the best thing you can either ride or rip.
02:18Yes.
02:19Ride or rip.
02:20Or is it both?
02:21That's up to Greg, my favourite host ever.
02:25The winner of the episode will take home all five things you can either ride or rip,
02:28or both maybe, which is pretty sick and gnarly.
02:30But that's quite enough for me.
02:31I'll see you all later.
02:32OK, Sanjeev.
02:33Hello.
02:34What have you brought me that I might like to ride?
02:37Or rip!
02:38I figured the most fun thing to ride would be Alex Horne.
02:47According to the internet, I agree.
02:49Yeah.
02:50I have brought something which will allow you to be able to manoeuvre him.
02:54Oh!
02:59Perfectly fits Alex Horne's head.
03:01Lovely.
03:02And, obviously, you've got rear-view mirrors so you can see what's coming up behind you.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Uh, and you've got a bell to warn people that your Alex Horne's coming.
03:16And I mean that in a pre-Watershed way.
03:19So anyone can ride me, can they, with this device?
03:21You could be on all fours and somebody can be sitting on your back.
03:23Mm-hm.
03:24And they've got your head.
03:25Oh, yeah.
03:26Also sitting on your shoulders, like that.
03:28Oh, and leaning down.
03:29Yeah.
03:30Oh!
03:31Like a penny farthing, Alex.
03:32Like a penny farthing.
03:33Phil.
03:34Right, so this is something that you are ripping and riding at the same time.
03:42Hello.
03:43If you'd like to show.
03:44Here it is.
03:45Check this out.
03:46So you're ripping off a very famous Monty Python joke.
03:51And you're riding an imaginary, could be a pony, could be a horse.
03:55Could be a camel.
03:56Could be.
03:57Depends what mood you're in.
03:58And I've put a nice little ribbon on it so you can wear it round like mittens through your coat.
04:02Yeah.
04:03Because if you lose one, you're just a madman waving round half a coconut.
04:09Yeah.
04:10On the M1.
04:11When you're on the M1, you've got two.
04:12Yeah, yeah.
04:13Great.
04:14And they go, oh, don't beat the horn here, it'll startle her.
04:17I like it.
04:18Amazing.
04:19I've gone all right on this one.
04:22I'm hoping it will please you, Greg.
04:25It's even been mentioned so far.
04:27It's a personalised Greg Davies...
04:30Oh, yeah.
04:31..punny for him.
04:33APPLAUSE
04:36It's pretty good.
04:37It's pretty amazing.
04:39It is going to be a struggle for you to get in that seat, but my God, it will feel brilliant.
04:45Once you're in, you're in, aren't you?
04:46Once you're in, you're in, famously.
04:48Trials.
04:49Yeah.
04:51These are all good.
04:52Someone's going to mess up, aren't they?
04:53Rhys?
04:57Well, I've gone ride and rip, and in the 70s, we used to have daredevils.
05:02You don't get them anymore, but there was one very famous daredevil, Evel Knievel.
05:06Evel Knievel.
05:07And I had the Evel Knievel toy.
05:10Can I say it's my favourite ever toy?
05:12Amazing.
05:13Because you get the opportunity to sort of ride, like Evel, and the ripcord is the rip of the ride.
05:20And there's a picture here of it.
05:22There we go.
05:23There he is.
05:24Ripcord racer.
05:25I remembered the rip.
05:26Here we go.
05:27And then, yep, he goes and he's on.
05:30And there is a...
05:34There is also another rip, because Evel never made it.
05:39And he did actually die.
05:42It's a lovely double rip.
05:43Oh, that saved him.
05:45Up to that point, he just brought in a toy.
05:47But that little joke saved him.
05:49Anya?
05:50Yeah.
05:51I've brought in something that I've designed.
05:53It's based on my feeling that when I travel, I have quite a weak bladder.
05:59Yeah.
06:00So I've designed something that should smoothen that situation.
06:03Smoothen.
06:04Smoothen, mate.
06:05LAUGHTER
06:12This is Anya demonstrating it.
06:14And she is using it in both functions during that clip.
06:20Yeah.
06:21Let's say if on Monday I wanted to go to the Chelsea Flower Show.
06:26You don't...
06:27You think they'd be fine with me riding this road?
06:29Yeah, 100%.
06:30Just dropping turds on the floor.
06:33I think so.
06:34That's good for the soil, isn't it?
06:35Yeah.
06:36They'd be welcoming you inside.
06:38They'd be going,
06:39Over here, our garden!
06:40The peace garden!
06:41The peace garden!
06:42The peace garden!
06:45Quit!
06:46Feed him!
06:49Can I say one more thing?
06:51It cost me four figures.
06:54You had to pay over £1,000 for it?
06:57Yeah.
06:58Oh, my God.
06:59It'd be so funny if I gave you just one break.
07:01Greg.
07:02Greg, please, I'm begging you.
07:03If you do that, I will break.
07:05OK, you've seen all five?
07:06Yeah.
07:07It's hard to separate.
07:08I think they're all pretty good.
07:09I mean, Reece's is the worst,
07:11but then he saved it with that joke.
07:13Well, I'm not going to give you one.
07:14Oh.
07:15OK.
07:16Because I liked it.
07:17I'm going to give him two points.
07:18But you are last, Reece.
07:20Yeah, apparently.
07:21Two lovely points,
07:23followed by three lovely points.
07:25Coconuts.
07:26Four points.
07:27A penny farthing.
07:28But third place.
07:29The third place?
07:30Yep.
07:31No.
07:32Yeah.
07:33Are you kidding me?
07:34No offence, Sanjeev.
07:35Yeah.
07:36This is a hat.
07:37Yeah, I loved it.
07:38So, it's four points to Maisie,
07:39five points to Sanjeev,
07:40and Anya.
07:41There you go.
07:42There we go.
07:43Well done.
07:44APPLAUSE
07:46I've got to be honest,
07:48I don't think I scored that very well.
07:50Right.
07:51Let's start with a team task.
07:53Okey-dokey.
07:54Yes, of course.
07:55But be warned,
07:56I have word from security
07:57that there's trouble going down
07:58at the Taskmaster Museum.
08:00Oh...
08:02Start from...
08:11Check.
08:18Pressure pad.
08:19Check.
08:20Statue in place.
08:22Mount room clear.
08:29Oh, God.
08:30Rhys.
08:31What's this?
08:32Are we safe?
08:33Don't know.
08:34Oh, there's a lot to take in here.
08:37What's this?
08:39Oh, God.
08:40Floor plans.
08:41Are we doing a heist?
08:42Oh, God.
08:43Where's Alex?
08:44Where is Alex?
08:45Oh, this is horrible.
08:47Look.
08:48It's the house.
08:49Steal the statue of Archimedes.
08:52Steal the statue of Archimedes.
08:55You have 15 minutes of observation and preparation in the van.
09:00Then 15 minutes to carry out your heist.
09:03Most sophisticated, successful heist wins.
09:06Your time starts now.
09:09So, we are going to have to steal that.
09:13Right.
09:14Where is that?
09:15Is that Alex?
09:16Oh, look.
09:17He's a policeman.
09:18He's got important codes.
09:19He's got important codes.
09:20Okay, okay, okay.
09:21Let's check out his roots.
09:22So, his root is he comes out of the house.
09:27We don't have that long, guys.
09:30Staff room.
09:31Door alarm check.
09:32There was three beeps of two after alarm check.
09:35Shed.
09:36Check.
09:37Clear.
09:38Right, we need to get to the tool shed.
09:39Statue room.
09:40Pressure mat.
09:41Alarm check.
09:42Good.
09:43Good to know.
09:44Pressure pad.
09:45Yeah, don't step on that.
09:46Functioning.
09:47Statue in place.
09:483-0-1-0-2-2.
09:49It said 3-0-1-0-2-2.
09:503-0-1-0-2-2.
09:51Excellent work.
09:52Wait, he's taking his jacket off to go to the toilet.
09:53If he does a routine wee, that's the time to get the jacket and the keys.
09:54Yeah.
09:55With it around his neck.
09:56Ooh!
09:57Oh, my God.
09:58He's not well.
09:59So, where's he in that back?
10:01So, where's he in that back?
10:03He's in that back?
10:04Yeah.
10:05So, where's it in place?
10:063-0-1-0-2-2.
10:07It said 3-0-1-0-2-2.
10:083-0-1-0-2-2.
10:09Excellent work.
10:10Oh, my God.
10:11He's taking his jacket off to go to the toilet.
10:12If he does a routine wee, that's the time to get the jacket and the keys.
10:13Yeah.
10:14Should I set my eyes watch?
10:15Ooh!
10:16Oh, my God.
10:17He's not well.
10:18LAUGHTER
10:24No, he's in the lung.
10:28Oh, look, he's not weeing again.
10:30Two minutes.
10:31He wees every two minutes.
10:32This is such good info.
10:33Yeah, there's the key.
10:34Look, there's the key.
10:35So, they're in his top left pocket.
10:37Is there a way of keeping him in the toilet?
10:40But is there something we can wedge against it?
10:42Yeah.
10:43Let's kill him!
10:50I mean, I was genuinely drawn into the drama of it up until that point.
10:55I'm quite excited about this.
10:56Yeah.
10:57It's very dramatic.
10:58Who are we going to see first?
10:59Well, first to plot and then partake in a heist are your stereotypical gangsters,
11:03Anya, Philip and Sanjeev.
11:06The plan is go to the tool shed.
11:08Or should two of us just run in and grab as much stuff as we think is useful?
11:11Mm-hm.
11:14Where is he?
11:15Where is he?
11:16He's there.
11:173-0-1-2-2.
11:18Go, guys, go.
11:19See what you can find.
11:24Hey, how's it going?
11:25Yeah.
11:26Huge wire cutter.
11:27Getting a net.
11:30Oh, yeah.
11:31Getting a net.
11:32Let's just trap him and kill him.
11:33I keep telling you.
11:34What?
11:35Where's Sanjeev?
11:37Oh, shit.
11:38Sanjeev.
11:39Oh, shit.
11:42Right, right, right, right.
11:47Okay.
11:51What's this?
11:52That's what it was in there.
11:54That's what it was.
11:55Okay, the statue has a weight sensor.
11:58Maybe that could replace it.
12:00Right.
12:01I'm just going to have a quick look in the shed.
12:04Statue in place.
12:05Is he about to go to the loo soon?
12:20Okay, we've got keys.
12:30Hello?
12:31Hello?
12:35I don't think it worked.
12:38Sanjeev, are you there?
12:39He's out of the loo.
12:40Interesting.
12:41He's heading to the camera feed room.
12:44He needs to hide from the cameras now.
12:45Hide from the cameras.
12:47Who's that?
12:48You're too big on camera.
12:49He's in the camera room, did you say?
12:51I'm going to go and investigate.
12:53He's heading out the front door.
12:55All the cameras have gone off.
13:10All the cameras have gone off.
13:12Where have they gone?
13:13Hi.
13:14Hello, sir.
13:15You shouldn't be here after the museum is shut.
13:16What is your name?
13:17Pip.
13:18Yeah, you're sorry.
13:19I have a single out.
13:20Where are you from?
13:21In the 90s.
13:22Right.
13:23Going to the car park.
13:24Yeah, no, I do apologise about that.
13:26I've got it, I've got it, I've got it.
13:27Oh, what is that?
13:28I need someone to...
13:29..to...
13:30..to get out of the car park.
13:31..to get out of the car park.
13:32I'll do apologise about that.
13:33I've got it, I've got it, I've got it.
13:47Oh, what is that?
13:49I need someone to...
13:52..to figure out where he is so that I can get back.
13:57I've got the statue.
13:58Oh, yeah, I've got distracted.
14:00Because he can only send you back here.
14:01Yeah, tell him to run back.
14:02Hello?
14:03Just sent Phil to distracting,
14:05so we've got no cameras at all.
14:09Sorry, me again.
14:10What time do you open tomorrow?
14:11Pip, you should be open at half eight.
14:13If you wouldn't mind leaving the premises.
14:17How was a pleasure?
14:18It's been great.
14:19So we are shot at the moment.
14:20No, I do apologise, no problem.
14:22All right.
14:23Thanks, mate.
14:24I've only got seven minutes left.
14:25That's a shame.
14:26Statue room.
14:27Pressure pad, check.
14:29CHEERS
14:31CHEERS
14:33STAT
14:35STAT
14:37STAT
14:38The statue's gone.
14:39APPLAUSE
14:41You know what, also?
14:42That wasn't acting.
14:43I hadn't seen any of the footage, because he tore the wires out of the security...
14:58Which means we didn't even record the security footage after that,
15:00because we weren't expecting anyone to rip the wires off.
15:03So all that footage is gone, and I couldn't believe the statue'd gone.
15:06Yeah, you sort of came good at the end.
15:08Up until that point, I don't think it's unfair to say you might be the weak link.
15:13LAUGHTER
15:15You remembered the code.
15:16Mm-hm.
15:17Well done.
15:18I loved finding an object to replace the weight of the statue.
15:22It was all going to plan, and then we had a northern man dressed...
15:26Dressed as the 70s Pimp.
15:28LAUGHTER
15:30Attempt to lock him in the toilet and fail.
15:34And then you became a maintenance man called Pip.
15:37LAUGHTER
15:38You gave a fake name Pip, which is short for your name.
15:41Yeah, I know.
15:42I think every time we've done a team task, and I say this was so much love...
15:46Oh, thanks.
15:47LAUGHTER
15:48But we've been doing, one, the actual task,
15:51and then the second task of wrangling Phil.
15:53LAUGHTER
15:54Very enjoyable.
15:55We've reached the end of the first part of our first heist.
15:59Another lesson for you youngsters out there.
16:01If you haven't got the things you like, steal them.
16:04See you in a bit.
16:05APPLAUSE
16:06Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster's part two,
16:16and our cast are planning and participating in heists
16:19at Taskmaster Museum.
16:21Fortunately for them, the security guard is this goon.
16:25LAUGHTER
16:26Hello!
16:27Yes, they're trying to steal the statue of Archimedes,
16:29and there's just one crime duo left to go.
16:32Chill out, Cray twins, it's time for Rhys Fearsmith
16:35and Maisie doesn't give a damn.
16:37LAUGHTER
16:39Important codes.
16:40We need to get that off him, then.
16:42He needs a wee...
16:44He puts it down. He puts it down.
16:45He puts it down.
16:46He puts it down, good.
16:47Right, shall I just go in now, when he's in the loo?
16:48Go now!
16:49If you can hear me, I think he's coming out.
16:54Oh, Jesus, he's got it.
16:57Quickly get in.
16:59He had this code, 301-022.
17:03Great.
17:04Well, now it makes me think that it's not a key, it's...
17:06It's not a key.
17:07It's codes that are on that.
17:09Checking security cameras...
17:11Is he going in the lab?
17:13Yeah, he'll be in the lab.
17:14Shall I go now?
17:15301-022.
17:19Any trouble?
17:21Good.
17:23Oh, hang on a minute.
17:25There's someone out there.
17:27There's an umbrella.
17:28Oh, God.
17:29Rhys!
17:32Excuse me, I just saw someone.
17:36Rhys, move!
17:37Move, Rhys!
17:38Oh, shit!
17:39Rhys!
17:40Excuse me, sir.
17:41Hi.
17:42We're shut, I'm afraid.
17:43Oh, I'm sorry about that.
17:44I went wrong.
17:45Back to the car park, please.
17:46Which way round is it, please?
17:47This way, sir.
17:50Jesus Christ, it's not a code, it's a lock with the number four on it.
17:57I'm going to have a lockdown, shall I?
18:02Hang on, there's someone on this camera.
18:05Right, off we go again.
18:09Oh, no, he's seen it, he's spotted it.
18:11Hello?
18:12Yeah, I just saw you on the camera.
18:13You did?
18:14Excuse me, I didn't know which way round I'm meant to be going.
18:16I'll send you back to the car park.
18:17Sorry.
18:18Right, what's your name?
18:19Er, Lindsay.
18:20Staff room alarm check.
18:21Oh, come on!
18:22He said he saw me on the camera.
18:23Do you know what we do?
18:24What?
18:25We run in and we just grab that whole box and run out with it.
18:28You reckon?
18:29When he's in the loo, now?
18:30Yeah.
18:31Yeah, ready?
18:32Don't step on the mat.
18:33Just yank it.
18:34Yes.
18:35Yes.
18:36We're in.
18:37Oh, we've stolen it.
18:38We need to make it at least appear sophisticated.
18:40Should we just grab that back, then?
18:41We just grab that whole box and run out with it.
18:42You reckon?
18:43When he's in the loo, now?
18:44Yeah.
18:45Yeah?
18:46Yeah?
18:47Ready?
18:48Don't step on the mat.
18:49Just yank it.
18:50Yes.
18:52We're in.
18:53Well, we've stolen it.
18:54We need to make it at least appear sophisticated.
18:57Sure.
18:58I'm sure it's in.
18:59We need to make it at least appear sophisticated.
19:02Shall we leave him a little note? Yeah.
19:04Thank you for the free gift.
19:10We're going, we're going, we're going.
19:20Wow, first things first.
19:22Successful. Yep.
19:24Sophisticated. Yep.
19:26Tell me about the see-through umbrella disguise.
19:28I tell you what happened.
19:30We didn't, our walkie-talkies didn't work.
19:32Walkie-talkies. They didn't work.
19:34Which is why I had to resort to other modes of communication.
19:38What a warning.
19:40Well, it needed to attract Reece's attention, but...
19:43But, but blend in with the atmosphere.
19:45I know.
19:46In a sophisticated way.
19:48Shall we have a look at it?
19:50Oh, God. Reece!
19:52Ah! Ah!
19:54Sophistication.
19:56It's just like watching Ocean's Eleven.
19:58It's just incredible.
20:00Both successful. Yes.
20:02I think the team of three were more sophisticated.
20:04Five points for the team of three.
20:06APPLAUSE
20:08Feels like three is fair.
20:11I've written off what you have in your mind as fair.
20:14You did say that.
20:16Three points.
20:18Three points for the team of two. There we go.
20:20It feels fair.
20:22Both very entertaining.
20:24Scoreboard, please.
20:25Yes, well, Sanjeev, we know, has not won an episode yet,
20:27but he's joint in the lead with Anya on ten points.
20:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:32This could be the one. This could be the one.
20:34Only another task, please.
20:36Oh, yes, please.
20:38And it's that time in the series when we get grim.
20:41MUSIC PLAYS
20:58Good evening, Alex.
21:00I know they'll never have let me out of here while I'm alive.
21:03Quick pro quo.
21:04I tell you things yourself, you tell me things.
21:07Hi.
21:08Chris Eubank?
21:09Sorry?
21:10Chris Eubank?
21:11Yeah, who was it supposed to be?
21:12It was Hannibal Lecter.
21:13Oh, was it? Oh, lovely.
21:14Lovely.
21:15I've seen you back.
21:17You look ready.
21:18Glad it looks that way.
21:19This is wet.
21:20Yeah, that's my fault.
21:21Dribble a Technicolor picture of your hero.
21:27Your Technicolor picture must only be made from things
21:31that have travelled...
21:32Directly from your mouth...
21:34To the tray, through the air.
21:35And cannot be tampered with post-dribble.
21:38Best Technicolor dribble picture wins.
21:41You have 15 minutes.
21:43Your time starts now.
21:46Are there colours available somewhere?
21:48You may leave the room.
21:49OK.
21:51May not be coming back.
21:52Right.
21:53Just so you know.
21:55APPLAUSE
21:57You looking forward to it for a shoot back?
22:01Can you do a Chris Eubank?
22:02LAUGHTER
22:05Can you do a Chris Eubank?
22:07Yes, of course I can.
22:08LAUGHTER
22:10APPLAUSE
22:12That's back on.
22:14OK.
22:15First, to demonstrate their committal to spittle are
22:18Anya, Sanjeev and Rhys Shearspit.
22:20So, we've got some items here.
22:23It's not many different colours.
22:24It's hard to find colours.
22:26Anyway, shall I tell you afterwards who it is?
22:29Up to you.
22:30I have some supplies.
22:32Yes, it must be Technicolor, so this is good.
22:34An artist prepares.
22:38Sorry, I forgot the rules.
22:40LAUGHTER
22:41Excellent.
22:46I'm going to draw...
22:47Dribble.
22:48Dribble.
22:49William Shakespeare.
22:53Getting that in there, then.
22:54What's the liquid?
22:55It's coffee.
22:56OK.
23:00LAUGHTER
23:01I had a question.
23:19Erm, I need to go to the loo.
23:21Does that come out of my time?
23:23Or do you pause it?
23:25It comes out of your time, Sanjeev.
23:27It's not right.
23:28It's not right.
23:29LAUGHTER
23:37Welcome back.
23:38Thank you very much.
23:39Seven minutes now.
23:40LAUGHTER
23:52Very accurate.
23:54You've got to be bold.
23:56Oh, sorry.
23:58You have to be bold.
23:59You've got to be bold.
24:01You've got to be bold.
24:02Oh, God.
24:03Yeah.
24:04You've got to be bold.
24:05That's very important.
24:06You've got to be bold.
24:07Oh!
24:08MUSIC PLAYS
24:25It's him and his old age writing his last play.
24:28MUSIC PLAYS
24:33LAUGHTER
24:38You know when you can sometimes...
24:41You don't know when to stop.
24:43That's it, I'm going to stop. Yeah. That's it.
24:46That's it. Done.
24:48APPLAUSE
24:50What I initially wrote down was that Anya was quite sort of
24:54traditionally ladylike in the way that she dribbled the picture
24:57until suddenly you turned into The Exorcist.
25:01LAUGHTER
25:03You achieved a 30-second dribble.
25:05A constant half-minute stream.
25:07I'm not sure that's something to be proud of.
25:09I thought Sanjay was nicely controlled.
25:12He was in the toilet for most of the time.
25:14I mean, honestly, though, Rhys, you...
25:17For most of it, you look like someone in Watford High Street
25:20on a Saturday night.
25:21LAUGHTER
25:22Hulking up.
25:23I expected you to go, get my brother!
25:25LAUGHTER
25:26I think it's because of what the colour was.
25:30Yeah, the colour...
25:32The choice of colour did not help the overall image.
25:34OK.
25:35Let's start with Shakespeare.
25:36Let's.
25:37Everyone's hero, really.
25:38This is Anya's take on William Shakespeare.
25:41LAUGHTER
25:43So, let's focus on the rough.
25:48Yeah, the rough is excellent.
25:49The rough is there.
25:50I did actually make a note.
25:51I was surprised by how much the squirty cream looked like a rough
25:54when it was going on.
25:55It's good, isn't it?
25:56And then...
25:57So, that's his pen...
25:58His quill, the red at the bottom.
26:00Hmm.
26:01I mean, honest to God, it's rubbish.
26:02LAUGHTER
26:03And then the orange is like...
26:05Cos it was in medieval times, that's like the air looked like that.
26:09LAUGHTER
26:10Pollution, cos they didn't have air conditioning.
26:12Cos of the smog.
26:13Cos of the smog.
26:14Cos of the smog.
26:15Oh, yeah.
26:16Smog, yeah.
26:17Oh, no, it is good.
26:18LAUGHTER
26:19Sorry, sorry.
26:20Because this is bugging me slightly.
26:22Yeah.
26:23It was in the late 1600s.
26:25Yeah.
26:26It was pre-smog.
26:27They didn't have factories.
26:28LAUGHTER
26:33Someone doesn't know about the Industrial Revolution.
26:36Yeah, who's next?
26:37Well, see if you can work out who Sanjeev's hero is.
26:42Who?
26:43You're back in the game.
26:44Yeah.
26:45Well, I mean, obviously I'm not going to be able to guess it.
26:47You'll kick yourself, it's Gene Wilder.
26:51APPLAUSE
26:53It's the smile, the smile gives it away.
26:57Can you see it now?
26:58The smile knows.
26:59Oh, God.
27:00Once you start looking at it, you see Gene Wilder.
27:02There's Wonka.
27:03Yeah.
27:04And he's got that trademark factory smog around the edge.
27:08Who's next?
27:09Well, we have a recognised artist here.
27:11Rhys Shearsmith has done this person.
27:13Can you work out who this is?
27:14Here we go.
27:15Wow.
27:16Cool.
27:17That's great.
27:18Who's the old actor Rhys keeps mentioning?
27:21Matt Boris Karloff.
27:22You're in the full part.
27:23You're in the right world.
27:24Is it Dracula?
27:25It is Dracula!
27:26It's Dracula!
27:27Cool!
27:28It's Dracula.
27:29You were right, you only did need those two colours.
27:33That's in the corner.
27:34Yeah.
27:35The widow's peak, the moon as well is up there.
27:36The dark, foreboding atmosphere.
27:39Oh, the eyes.
27:40The eyes.
27:41The red burning eyes.
27:42That's so haunting.
27:43OK, it's time to pause and reflect on the horrors we've just seen.
27:46Make Grandad a cup of tea and wake him up.
27:49We've got dribbling covered.
27:50APPLAUSE
27:51Hello!
27:52Welcome to the start of part three.
27:53I'm afraid there's a drool-based art task which still needs completing.
27:56Yes, it's a horrible thing and I really, really enjoy it.
27:57We have double dribble to end with.
27:58It's Maisie and Phil.
27:59Wonderful.
28:00Right, well, you'll be surprised to know I'm not going to leave this room.
28:01I'm going to do it all from everything we've got right here.
28:02Money joking.
28:03That would be genuinely insane.
28:04Right.
28:05Right.
28:06Right.
28:07Right.
28:08Right.
28:09Right.
28:10Right.
28:11How do we feel?
28:12How do we feel about crayons?
28:13Oh.
28:14We're off.
28:15Oh.
28:16Oh.
28:17We're off.
28:18There he is!
28:19blue eyes and blue eyes and blue eyes and blue eyes.
28:20Oh, I don't see a meme.
28:21And how do we feel about crayons.
28:22I'm genuinely insane.
28:29Right.
28:39How do we feel about crayons?
28:41Oh, we're off.
28:47There he is!
28:48Oh, blue eyes himself!
28:53Dryer, you think, duck?
28:58Oh!
29:10It can't be tampered with once it's fallen.
29:22Oh, you tit!
29:24Well, you've got two minutes now.
29:28Do you want me in the gap?
29:29Recognisable?
29:30I am.
29:31Spitting image.
29:32That's good.
29:34Spitting.
29:35Spitting image.
29:36Yeah, I'll write that down.
29:40Now, that is pretty good.
29:42You're welcome.
29:44Thanks for your time.
29:45I felt sick.
29:46Well, I quote Phil.
29:47I'm going to stay in the lab and just chew up the task.
29:48I'm only joking.
29:49That would be genuinely insane.
29:50Were you all told you could leave the room?
29:51No.
29:52No.
29:53I did leave off my own accord, if I'm on it.
29:54Sounds like you've had to go to the loo.
29:55Yeah.
29:56And that time wasn't taken off.
29:57I'm still kind of shocked at that.
29:58It means if I'd had a heart attack at some point, when the paramedics had a heart attack,
30:00it would be a heart attack.
30:01It would be a heart attack.
30:02It would be a heart attack.
30:03It would be a heart attack.
30:04It would be a heart attack.
30:05It would be a heart attack.
30:06So, yeah.
30:07I guess, I presume people would think, well, I have to leave the room because there was
30:35nothing in the room.
30:36Well, because I looked around at what I had available and thought, well, it must be
30:39the envelope.
30:40Did you eat the word Technicolor first, do you think?
30:42Shut up.
30:49Have a look at what this lady's done with her mouth.
30:51This is a Technicolor picture of her hero.
30:56Look at the tie, flash microphones.
30:59It's not as bad as I was expecting, to be fair.
31:01It's very much a face.
31:03And I've met Rod Stewart and he looks almost exactly the same as that.
31:07It's Rod Stewart.
31:08You're all right.
31:09Yeah.
31:10So, I haven't seen the picture yet.
31:14From the angle we've seen it at, it looks like madness.
31:18It's quite accurate.
31:20OK.
31:21There it is.
31:22I remember it as a lot better than that.
31:25It's like scanners when their head blows up.
31:29Is it Elvis?
31:30No.
31:31Oh.
31:32That's his gorgeous red hair.
31:33Hucknall.
31:34You know.
31:35Hucknall it is.
31:36Make Hucknall.
31:37It's Hucknall.
31:38Whoop!
31:39Whoop!
31:40Whoop!
31:41Whoop!
31:42Let's put all five up, then.
31:44What a line-up that would be for Taskmaster Series 21, though.
31:47Some of them have only got two colours, but I won't penalise that,
31:52because the main thing is the likeness.
31:55And on this occasion, I'm going to give Anya one point.
31:57I'm so sorry.
32:00I like the character, but he doesn't look like Gene Wilder.
32:04I'm going to give two points to Sanjeev.
32:06OK.
32:07Against all odds, I'm giving Rod Stewart three points.
32:10Even more against the odds, I'm giving Mick Hucknall,
32:12because there's an element of animation to it, four points.
32:15And clearly, even though there are only two colours,
32:18Dracula is the superior painting.
32:20Five points to me.
32:21Five points to me, Susan.
32:22Yeah, it's cool, all right.
32:24Should we have another task?
32:25We shall.
32:27And just like Greg and his teaching days,
32:29this one involves me getting hammered at work.
32:31LAUGHTER
32:48Oh, nice head tattoo.
32:50Thank you, Anya, in you go.
32:52Don't look about for the task, maybe?
32:54Yeah, if you want, sure.
32:57Nice.
32:58Is it in a thing?
33:00No.
33:01What is the task and where is it?
33:06Someone's rustling.
33:07Oh.
33:12Oh!
33:14Oh, it's there, God.
33:15Oh, hello.
33:16Oh.
33:17Do you like pantomimes?
33:18Do you like pantomimes?
33:19Why?
33:20So, er...
33:21Oh, yes, I do.
33:22Oh, yes, I do.
33:23Oh, no, you don't.
33:24Oh, yes, I do.
33:25Do you?
33:26Yes.
33:27This is like a really low-budget kids' show.
33:30Not low-budget.
33:31No, this is like a really high-budget kids' show.
33:33Sometimes it's behind you.
33:34It's behind you!
33:35It's behind you!
33:37That's the...
33:43Get exactly 63 points by bopping Alex on the head.
33:47You must shout a different type of food on each bop to register the bop.
33:52If you bop anyone other than Alex, five bops will be deducted from your total score.
33:58You must stay in the hutch.
33:59And the fastest wins.
34:01Your time starts on the whistle.
34:03Is one bop one point?
34:0563 points are on my head.
34:07There'll be other heads.
34:09So, if you get me one, that'll do it.
34:11Oh!
34:12Seems easy, then.
34:17Well, looks like we're off.
34:18This is pretty straightforward.
34:19Bop this clown on the head.
34:21Yep, bit of fun.
34:22Bit of fun.
34:23Let's go.
34:24Let's go.
34:25Let's see a marauding Maisie, a savage Sanjeev and a rampaging Rhys bop till they drop.
34:30OK, so, I've got to try and bop your head and say foodstuffs.
34:34Oh, no, what are these?
34:36Oh, I see.
34:40Red.
34:41Five points, that one.
34:42OK.
34:43Apples.
34:44One.
34:45Oh, right.
34:46OK.
34:49That's Greg.
34:50Hmm.
34:51So, you've got minus ten.
34:52What?
34:53Oh, rice.
34:54Oh, ten points.
34:55Bread.
34:57Still minus ten.
34:58I got him.
34:59Minus ten.
35:00I got him.
35:01I can't register the bop.
35:03Minus ten.
35:04Now, listen.
35:05I can't register any of these bops.
35:07Why?
35:08All the information's on the task.
35:11Fuck.
35:12Chocolate sauce.
35:13Right.
35:14Pears.
35:15Pasta.
35:16Apples.
35:17Couscous.
35:18Lovely.
35:19An orange.
35:20Peanuts.
35:21Need a food.
35:22A...
35:23A...
35:24A...
35:25A...
35:26A...
35:27A...
35:28A...
35:29A...
35:30A...
35:31Lamb stew!
35:33Fishes!
35:34Fishes!
35:36This is going to take great forever.
35:38Yeah, you're on 21 points.
35:39Oh, look at the face off!
35:40Uh...
35:44You're using the guitar now.
35:46Ah!
35:47Lettuce!
35:48Oh, there's something by your waist.
35:50What?
35:51Urgh!
35:53That was a very creepy one.
35:56Oh.
35:57Can I bob that?
35:58That was a bob.
35:59Yeah, but he didn't say a food.
36:00Oh!
36:02This is just annoying now.
36:04Ah!
36:05I got my job!
36:06Broccoli!
36:07Carrot!
36:08Brottenut swash!
36:09Big Mac!
36:11Chicken supreme wrap.
36:13Well, what's happened to his head?
36:15Oh!
36:16Erm...
36:17Lollipop.
36:20Pistachios!
36:21Oh, wah!
36:22Oh, wah!
36:24Yes, you got me.
36:25So, now you're on plus 72.
36:27Yeah, you've gone over now.
36:28Ah!
36:29I see.
36:33Ah!
36:34Beef.
36:3549.
36:36Pork.
36:3759.
36:38Bacon.
36:3969.
36:40You've got too many nuts.
36:41Now you need a few greggs.
36:42Er, mashed potato.
36:43Er, sticky toffee pudding.
36:44Guts.
36:45Cheese tart.
36:4652.
36:47Beetroot.
36:4867.
36:49Port belly.
36:50Right.
36:51Carrot cake.
36:52Apple turnovers.
36:53Right.
36:54Right.
36:55We're now on 59.
36:56Bananas.
36:57OK, you're on 62 now.
36:58So you just need one of me that's worth one.
37:01Bindi.
37:02Onion bhajis.
37:03Tikka masala.
37:04Gel fraze.
37:05I've stopped the clock.
37:06Er, keys!
37:07I've stopped the clock.
37:08Oh, machine!
37:09Got it.
37:10Woo!
37:11I've stopped the clock.
37:13Oh, God.
37:14Maisie, have you ever worked at a supermarket?
37:15I wrote down that run.
37:16Broccoli.
37:17Carrot.
37:18What's an old squash.
37:19Big Mac.
37:20Chicken supreme wrap.
37:21Chicken supreme wrap.
37:22It's really hard.
37:23It's really hard.
37:24This task was so infuriating.
37:25Reece was far more specialist.
37:26You were like a deli.
37:27There were only three things and they were shouted with such passion.
37:32FISHES!
37:33FISHES, pistachio, aubergine.
37:34FISHES, pistachio, aubergine.
37:35Yes.
37:36I mean, the others were just as classy.
37:37Sugar snap peas or something.
37:38Oh!
37:39Fascinating little runs from you.
37:40Lovely little concentrated runs.
37:41Not much action.
37:42Then all of a sudden, beef, pork, chicken.
37:43And then there was that.
37:44It was really hard.
37:45It was really hard.
37:46It was really hard.
37:47It was really hard.
37:48This task was so infuriating.
37:49Reece was far more specialist.
37:50You were like a deli.
37:51There were only three things and they were shouted with such passion.
37:53FISHES!
37:54FISHES!
37:55FISHES!
37:56FISHES, pistachio, aubergine.
37:57Yes.
37:58I mean, the others were just as classy.
37:59Not much action.
38:00Then all of a sudden, beef, pork, chicken.
38:02LAUGHTER
38:03And then there was that lovely curry run at the end.
38:06LAUGHTER
38:07Absolute poetry.
38:08I mean, runs and curry do go together.
38:11APPLAUSE
38:12That's good.
38:13That's good.
38:14APPLAUSE
38:15All right, then.
38:16We're nearly there.
38:17In the final part of the show, someone will triumph
38:19and then travel home on a toilet, courtesy of Anya Magliano.
38:22APPLAUSE
38:29Thank you!
38:31Welcome back to part four of Taskmaster.
38:34Yes, hello, and a special shout-out to any funeral directors
38:37watching today.
38:39LAUGHTER
38:40Before the break, they were trying to get exactly 63 points
38:43by bopping Alex on the head.
38:44Let's see Anya and Phil and Mallets and me.
38:47I don't know what...
38:48I don't...
38:49I don't want to just bop you on the head.
38:51What?
38:52I don't think that is you.
38:53Bop...
38:54Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, kumquat.
38:55No, it's too slow.
38:56LAUGHTER
38:57Fish finger.
38:59Apple crumble.
39:00Pear crumble.
39:02Lovely.
39:03Chicken.
39:04No, you missed that.
39:05Chicken.
39:06Frangipan tart.
39:08If you get my head, that'll give you a lot of points.
39:11But that's not your head, you're tricking me.
39:13That's Greg's head.
39:14That's correct.
39:15Chicks.
39:16Oh.
39:17Macaroon.
39:18Why am I struggling?
39:20Wait a minute, there's another way.
39:21Dunno.
39:24Oh, look!
39:25Yes, yes!
39:26Right.
39:29Ooh!
39:31Profiterole.
39:32Lovely.
39:34Tiramisu!
39:3542.
39:36Never had it.
39:38Moussaka.
39:39Moussaka.
39:40Christmas pudding.
39:41Well, you've knocked her head off that now.
39:43I got it!
39:44You're on 62, you need one more point.
39:46One more?
39:47Then you're now on 58 points.
39:48OK.
39:50Poké bowl.
39:5263.
39:54Panic!
39:55And that's your time over.
39:56Yes!
39:59Ooh, there's a combo in there.
40:00Yes!
40:01Yes!
40:02Yes!
40:03Yes!
40:04Yes!
40:05Yes!
40:06Yes!
40:07Yes!
40:08Yes!
40:09And was it either of those shopping baskets that's more middle class than the other?
40:13Franchipan tart!
40:16Is that your go-to?
40:18I don't know what that is.
40:20Egg.
40:21Potatoes.
40:23Loved it.
40:24Although, oh man, the thing that got me is your first guess.
40:27There's a, I'm sure now a fairly offensive character called Porky Pig.
40:30Do you remember Porky Pig?
40:31Oh, yeah.
40:32And he had a bit of a speech impediment.
40:34And you did that at the beginning.
40:35You went...
40:36..cumquat!
40:41I've never had to say under pressure before.
40:43Well, shall I do the timings?
40:44I don't, yeah.
40:45Do the timings.
40:46The quickest in 2 minutes 29 was Anya.
40:49Well done.
40:50That's 5 minutes, Anya.
40:51Lovely.
40:52Yes.
40:53Then we go Phil, 4 minutes 44.
40:55Sanji, 5.51.
40:56Maisie, 6.39.
40:57And far slower than everyone else.
40:59Rhys, 1 point.
41:008 minutes 45.
41:02APPLAUSE
41:04Yeah.
41:05Let's have a look at some scores.
41:06Yes.
41:07Well, in the series, it's still tight.
41:0811 points separating all five of them.
41:10Ooh!
41:11I know.
41:12Like anyone could win the series?
41:13Anyone could win the series.
41:14Ah!
41:15In this particular episode, tight.
41:16Sanjeev, you're on 15.
41:18But Anya and Phil are in the lead with 16.
41:20Ooh!
41:25OK, everyone.
41:26Will you please head to the stage for the final task of the show?
41:28APPLAUSE
41:29Oh!
41:30Oh, I didn't see that.
41:31I didn't see that.
41:32Who will be reading the task?
41:33That one.
41:34Maisie Adam.
41:35Avoid the taskmaster's big ball.
41:36You must stand on the circle, but you must not step on any gold.
41:40You must be facing and staring at the taskmaster's sign at all times.
41:41And after the taskmaster releases his big ball, you may each take one step.
41:45The first person touched by the taskmaster's big ball each round is eliminated.
41:46Last player standing wins.
41:47So, after he releases his ball, we're allowed one step?
41:48Yeah.
41:49One step each round.
41:50Can we get undressed?
41:51Is that you?
41:52Oh!
41:53Is that you?
41:54Oh!
41:55A little bit.
41:56Why do you want to get undressed?
41:57So, that there's less, like, stuff to be touched.
41:58Oh!
41:59You think this is a game that you are right?
42:00It's the best game that you want to do?
42:01You're allowed to do someone at home, and you need to do that.
42:02It's the best game that you need to do on the desk.
42:03You need to take a step!
42:04The second player is to go on, you need to take that step on, and you take it away,
42:05four times, and after the taskmaster releases his big ball, you may each take one step.
42:06The first person touched by the taskmaster's big ball each round is eliminated.
42:11Last player standing wins.
42:12So after he releases his ball we're allowed one step.
42:14Yeah, one step each round.
42:17Can we get undressed?
42:18Turn on.
42:19Is that you?
42:20Oh!
42:21A little, a little bit.
42:22Why do you want to get undressed?
42:24So that there's less stuff to be touched.
42:28of millimetres, do you?
42:30LAUGHTER
42:31Sure.
42:32Alex, please take the contestants to the ball zone.
42:37This way, please.
42:47You can take any spot, but you must be facing that way.
42:50Where is he swinging it from?
42:51Swinging it from here.
42:52You want to be over here, then, don't you?
42:54But you must be facing that Taskmaster sign.
42:56OK, clothes off.
43:06Yeah, can we face it like this?
43:08Side on, that's side on.
43:10You can't take your eyes off the Taskmaster sign.
43:13Well, that's fine, then.
43:21Here we go, good luck.
43:23Here I am!
43:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:29Go, Bill!
43:31Mum!
43:37This ain't cruel!
43:38Anya, standing!
43:40LAUGHTER
43:42LAUGHTER
43:43Come on, mate!
43:44LAUGHTER
43:48LAUGHTER
43:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:01APPLAUSE
44:03So, who's going to take a new elimination card?
44:05I mean...
44:06I mean...
44:07That was heroic!
44:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:10So, Phil is eliminated.
44:11OK.
44:12Right.
44:14Remember, you're looking at the Taskmaster sign, please.
44:16Yeah, you can dodge and weave, but you must be standing up.
44:19Good luck, everyone.
44:20Round two.
44:21Ready?
44:22Yeah.
44:23Yeah!
44:26Oh, that's a step from Anya.
44:27Ooh!
44:28Ooh!
44:29Ooh!
44:30Ooh!
44:31Ooh!
44:32Ooh!
44:33Oh, lovely.
44:34Ooh!
44:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:36Reece Shepard is on.
44:37APPLAUSE
44:40Reece is eliminated.
44:41Hand me back the golden ball.
44:43OK.
44:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:47I'm about to release the ball.
44:49Oh, my word.
44:51LAUGHTER
44:52Oh, my ungodly strength!
44:54Ah!
44:59One second.
45:00OK, that's a step from everyone except for Anya.
45:02Lovely.
45:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:07Sanjeev is out and pleased.
45:09Bring me back my ball!
45:13Terrible, isn't it?
45:14This is it.
45:20Ready.
45:21The strength is unholy!
45:23Ah!
45:26Oh, what an angle.
45:28One step.
45:29Ooh, lovely.
45:30Maisie still has hers.
45:31And it!
45:32Ooh!
45:33It's another step!
45:34We've lost Anya!
45:35We've lost Anya!
45:36Maisie is a woman!
45:43Let's all go down and we'll work out the final score!
45:50Oh, that was electric.
45:52Obviously, we saw the finalists were Anya and Maisie, but the five points went to Maisie in the end!
45:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:00For standing still.
46:02Well, it means that with 20 points today, our winner is at that end of the seats, it's Anya Magliano!
46:09And your wins!
46:10Please go up to relish in your things to ride or rip!
46:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:19So, what have we learned today?
46:23Well, this is a stressful world, guys. It's full of technology, industry and noise. It's important to get away from it all, head to the glorious English countryside, be at one with nature and just let the wildlife speak to you.
46:40Oh!
46:41Oh!
46:42Oh!
46:43Oh!
46:48For now, let's applaud our winner on the loo. It's Anya Magliano!
46:52Choo!
46:54Choo!
46:55Choo!
46:56Choo!
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