- 6 months ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man who was sentenced to an extra 15 years in prison after throwing feces on a correctional officer. Then, play a game of would you rather between diarrhea and finale stuff.
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00:00What are you doing now, Chuck?
00:01Well, with 17 flavors of 5-Hour Energy, it's kind of hard to decide, so I'm playing Spin the Bottle.
00:07What? Are you 12?
00:10Look, it's pointed right at you.
00:13Get away from me. Get away from me!
00:23Alright, here's the question for you this morning.
00:24Like, someone throws hot diarrhea in your face.
00:31How long do you want them put away for?
00:34Give them the chair.
00:35Life.
00:35Yeah, I wasn't going chair, I was going guillotine.
00:38Oh, wow.
00:39Chop their head off.
00:40Diarrhea.
00:42Like, honestly, diarrhea.
00:43In my face?
00:45They made it themselves?
00:46Yeah.
00:47Right from their fudge factory.
00:49Chop their head off.
00:50Oh, wow.
00:51Right at the neck.
00:53Guillotine.
00:53Into a toilet.
00:54You are my child.
00:57I would have said the same thing.
00:59Dictator Dave?
01:01Diarrhea in my face.
01:02I know.
01:02I mean, it's not going to be very long.
01:07You're going to get maybe, what, an aggravated assault?
01:10I'm going to say, I would hope to God they'd give you 10 to 15 years for that, but they're
01:16not going to.
01:17They're not going to.
01:19In fact...
01:21Oh, they did.
01:2215 years.
01:23Wow.
01:24That's good.
01:25That's a good punishment.
01:2615 years.
01:27Turns out, though, he was already behind bars in South Carolina when he did this.
01:31Okay.
01:32Okay, so was he...
01:33So he was sentenced to 15 additional years in prison.
01:37Did he do it to a cop?
01:38To a prison guard.
01:40Yeah, so he made it in his cell and he blasted them when he tried to come in.
01:44That's what they do.
01:45That's what they do.
01:45It's the silence of the lambs.
01:47Yeah.
01:47Oh, my God.
01:48Well, that wasn't for it.
01:50I'd rather take the diarrhea.
01:52Oh.
01:52You would take diarrhea over semen?
01:55I think so.
01:55I'd rather...
01:56I'm not going to say it out loud, but I would take the other one.
02:00Come on.
02:01Yeah.
02:01Go ahead.
02:01You said it before.
02:02I know.
02:03I'm not going to say it again.
02:04Do we just talk?
02:04What aren't you going to say?
02:05Come on.
02:06Wouldn't you?
02:06Come on.
02:07Personally, I would take the diarrhea over the semen.
02:10How about you, Dave?
02:10Which is wild, because if anyone in the show I thought would take the semen, it would be
02:15court.
02:16I will say just on a volume alone scale, I would probably go with the S.
02:24Right.
02:25Rather than the D.
02:27Yes.
02:28I'll take semen in the face.
02:31I'll say it.
02:32I guess I'm the weirdo.
02:34Yes.
02:34No, but I just...
02:36I think...
02:36The one time he won't take semen.
02:38He's so full of semen all the time.
02:43You got to mix it up a little bit.
02:46I would just say that diarrhea, it's going to be a lot.
02:50It's not going to be just a little bit.
02:52It's not like a little spritz.
02:53That's exactly why.
02:54Diarrhea is so much more disgusting.
02:57So...
02:57And it's...
02:58But it's a throwable amount, so it's not like a bucket.
03:01Yeah, but it's a lot more of a throwable amount than the S.
03:06Don't you think...
03:06Al back.
03:07Al.
03:08You going S or D?
03:09I'm real busy over here, David.
03:11S or D, Al.
03:13S or D.
03:14I don't like the way he yelled your name.
03:16He's just very interesting.
03:17I said you had a bad job.
03:18Are you taking semen, Al?
03:20What are you doing, Al?
03:23I guess I'll go S.
03:24I don't know.
03:25Yeah, go S.
03:27Go S.
03:28Just saying.
03:30Everyone else on the show would go S.
03:32Yeah.
03:33Volume alone.
03:34That's it.
03:35It's a volume issue to me.
03:37It is totally volume.
03:38You could have a lot more D than you could S.
03:40I will be honest, too.
03:41Like...
03:42I think that the diarrhea is just so much more gross.
03:48It's disgusting.
03:49It's just so much more gross.
03:50I agree with you.
03:52The S is not great.
03:54No, it's terrible.
03:55It's not great.
03:56It could be chunky or filled with stuff.
03:57I mean, the S is...
04:00It's all good.
04:03It'll be all right.
04:04I mean, I wouldn't say that.
04:05It'll be all right.
04:06It's all good.
04:07It'll be all right.
04:07Well, you hope.
04:08You just use it to twist up the mustache a little bit.
04:11You don't want it to land in your eyes or anything.
04:13I think I'd rather have S in my eyes than D in my eyes.
04:17You get a lot of bacteria from the diarrhea.
04:19You definitely need some pink eye drops.
04:23Yeah.
04:23You're right.
04:23You'd probably rather have S in your eyes than D in your eyes.
04:26But what can you get from his...
04:29S.
04:30Yeah.
04:30You know, like there's a lot of bad stuff probably that you don't want.
04:33Walker told me I have S.
04:35Yeah.
04:35You know, I'd be worried.
04:37I think that's my driving force.
04:39So that is it.
04:40It is more of like a sexually transmitted...
04:43Because I can understand...
04:44Not only is it on you, but then now what's the unknown?
04:47Right.
04:47Because I will say, if you ask the question, would you rather have diarrhea on your face
04:55or the possibility of AIDS, then that changes the...
05:00Can you get it through...
05:02I don't know.
05:03I was wondering that too.
05:04Because you can get stuff.
05:05It'll keep me up all night wondering.
05:06I know.
05:07But the odds.
05:08I know.
05:08The odds that the S has the AIDS.
05:11I'm going to ask Google that.
05:12I know.
05:12I know.
05:13Like what's worse?
05:14For you?
05:15Yeah.
05:16Yeah.
05:16What's worse to have on your face?
05:19No, no.
05:20What can you catch?
05:20Not on your face.
05:20In your eye.
05:22To have in your eye.
05:24Is that what we're talking about?
05:24Semen or feces.
05:28Here we see.
05:29In your...
05:30Let's see what the AI says.
05:31Between feces and semen, feces is significantly more dangerous to have in your eye due to the
05:36sheer volume of harmful bacteria, parasites, and viruses.
05:40While both can cause severe infections, feces carries a much higher risk of immediate and
05:45serious harm.
05:47Okay.
05:47I'm changing mine.
05:48Can I go like with a half and half?
05:51Oh, yeah.
05:51So, the chance of getting, um...
05:55Walker told me I have AIDS.
05:56Is extremely low.
05:58Through your eye, right?
05:59Yeah, through your eye.
05:59While technically possible through mucous membrane exposure, experts have found the risk
06:04of HIV transmission from semen in the eye to be negligible.
06:08Yeah, they say you could get HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or herpes.
06:13I'd change it again.
06:14I'm sticking with my original answer.
06:15Yeah.
06:15If you don't get it treated, you have vision loss, too.
06:18That herpes one.
06:20Oh, really?
06:20So, you gotta get it treated, which is embarrassing.
06:23Yeah, give me the D.
06:25I don't know.
06:26He said that before, too.
06:27Oh, man.
06:27That's really...
06:28Um, Dwayne is with us.
06:30Dwayne, you had a comment here on this.
06:32He's worried that it's happening to me.
06:33You have a ripped cord.
06:34A ripped cord.
06:35Yeah, I was gonna tell you, Dave, I think you owe me a coffee after that Chunky-esque comment.
06:40I lost it.
06:41That's pretty gross.
06:42I know how to describe you that.
06:44Chunky?
06:45That's pretty gross.
06:45How's it come out?
06:47Yeah.
06:47No, I think you were talking about...
06:50Diarrhea.
06:51Diarrhea.
06:51I wasn't talking about Chunky Semen.
06:53No, you were not.
06:54Jesus, Lord, man.
06:55No, you were not.
06:55Get it together.
06:56Chunky in any way in this conversation can make people sick, I guess.
07:00It's not great.
07:02It's a pretty bad word.
07:03Chunky.
07:05Unless it's about, like, chocolate chip cookies.
07:08Or peanut butter.
07:09Chunky.
07:10Chunky peanut butter, I like.
07:12Or how Jason likes his ladies.
07:14Yeah.
07:15Chunky?
07:16Chunky.
07:16Yeah.
07:17There you go.
07:18Plump.
07:18Yeah.
07:20Steve is with us.
07:21Steve, you had a comment.
07:22Are you going S or D?
07:25Absolutely S.
07:27Yeah.
07:28Thank you for calling and chiming in about this tonight.
07:31Yeah, that's amazing.
07:32Appreciate it.
07:32Oh, yeah, yeah.
07:33This is obvious to me.
07:35I mean, there's people in this world that swallow the S.
07:39Nobody's out there swallowing the D.
07:41Don't say nobody.
07:42That's not true.
07:43We've talked to at least one man.
07:46We've talked to at least one man.
07:48I mean, it's not true.
07:50Steve, get on the internet, man.
07:51Get on the internet.
07:52Steve, I'll send it to you.
07:53No.
07:54No.
07:55No.
07:55I have a poll going on YouTube right now to see what the people want.
07:58S or D.
07:59That's a good poll.
08:00So I'll let you know the results.
08:01Oh, yeah, that's good.
08:01That is good.
08:02I'll let you know.
08:03I'd like to know the pulse of the people.
08:04Get on the YouTube.
08:05We're live on YouTube.
08:05And vote.
08:06Yeah.
08:07YouTube.com slash David.
08:08Vote semen or diarrhea in your face.
08:10Yeah.
08:11Which would you prefer if you had to choose one?
08:15You know what?
08:15I woke up today.
08:16One of us is very outnumbered right now.
08:18Oh, yeah.
08:19Quit waffling, man.
08:20Just pick one and stick with it.
08:22God bless it.
08:23I'm sticking with D, but I'm heavily outnumbered.
08:25Yeah.
08:25Yeah.
08:27I mean, I just think of like, especially in this guy's case.
08:30Well, to be honest, it was probably a mixture of all of it.
08:33And that poor guy's face.
08:35I think so.
08:35Well, I think that's what the prisoners do.
08:37They put everything they can in that.
08:40And they let it sit.
08:42Sit.
08:42They just let it sit and sit and get gross.
08:47Can I give you a YouTube update?
08:48Yes.
08:49Semen has an overwhelming lead.
08:51Of course it does.
08:52Overwhelming.
08:53Who wants diarrhea in the face?
08:55Nobody.
08:553% of people want it on the YouTube.
08:57And court.
08:58And court.
08:58Court probably went on YouTube and voted.
09:01He's hearing the results.
09:03He is one of the votes.
09:04He's like, quickly, you vote for diarrhea, everybody.
09:06Maybe I can break this 50-50 tie.
09:09I wonder if he's actually the whole 3%.
09:13Probably.
09:14He's the whole 3%.
09:15Multiple votes coming in from one.
09:19Yep.
09:20Court of Lingus.
09:21Jacob is with us.
09:23Jacob, are you going S or D?
09:25I'm going D, man.
09:26I'm a Port-A-John guy by trade.
09:28And I've had backsplash hit in the face from that blue suit before.
09:32Not as bad as people think.
09:34Oh, my God.
09:35That's terrible.
09:35You're into some weird stuff.
09:38That's wrong on so many levels.
09:41Did you hear what he said?
09:43He picked a career involved with it.
09:45Yeah.
09:46And it's fine with it.
09:47And he's like, you know what?
09:47It's not as bad as many people think.
09:50He called it a blue soup.
09:52Yeah.
09:52He did.
09:54I don't like it.
09:55I don't like that idea.
09:56We're still way in the lead, S, way in the lead?
09:58Yeah.
09:59Oh, yeah, yeah.
10:00It's like 95%.
10:01Yeah.
10:01It's running away with it.
10:02Thousands and thousands of votes.
10:05Thousands, huh?
10:06Let's not get too green.
10:06That's a lot of people on our YouTube.
10:08If you're just joining us, an inmate got an additional 15 years in prison for throwing
10:12diarrhea in a correctional officer's face in South Carolina.
10:16So, and then Court brought up Hannibal Lecter through his Seaman.
10:23Well, yeah.
10:23So we were saying, would you take the S?
10:26Yeah, not Hannibal Lecter.
10:27Yeah.
10:27The S or the D.
10:29If you had to take one thing to the face, and everyone on the show except for Court would
10:34choose the S.
10:37Yeah.
10:39Court.
10:40Court's alone on an island.
10:41Right.
10:42It's okay.
10:43Old Cleveland steamer over there.
10:44Yes, okay.
10:45Court wants a D in the face.
10:47Yeah.
10:47Yes.
10:48I mean, he doesn't want it, guys.
10:50Yes, he does.
10:51If he had to take it, he'd deal with it.
10:54To me, it's just so money.
10:57Nothing.
10:58He's been busy taking calls.
10:59I feel like it's the difference between, like, I mean, like, even in this cup, like,
11:04at the most, like, the guy fills it up.
11:07Oh.
11:08You know?
11:09Right.
11:09But then the diarrhea is, like, so, you can top it off.
11:14Well, disgusting first, but it's a volume issue as well.
11:19You may not even get anywhere near anything, you know, because there's not that much of
11:23it.
11:24Yeah.
11:25You could even, like, kind of, like, the full blast, but even just a few speckles get you,
11:30you're pretty upset.
11:31It's got to be the worst, being that first guy who kicks in that door of that cell.
11:39They got to make the rookie do it every time, right?
11:42Like, it's the rookie every time who gets blasted.
11:45Such a bad day.
11:46Oh, it's the worst day.
11:48Terrible.
11:48If you've got a face full of D.
11:50Yeah.
11:52Man, you're probably reconsidering your life choices, right?
11:55Yeah.
11:55So, yeah, this guy, Donald Harper Jr., he gets an additional 15 years in prison for that.
12:08There is his...
12:09I'm kind of glad they threw the book at him, though, you know?
12:11That's his mugshot there.
12:15I mean, he was already in prison for doing some bad things.
12:18Yeah.
12:19Yeah.
12:19Shot and killed someone.
12:21Yeah.
12:21Yeah.
12:21So then you throw an additional 15 years.
12:24And I mean, I guess at that point, that's why the guys do this, because they're like,
12:28what are you going to do to me?
12:29It's like, I shot and killed somebody.
12:31I'm in here forever.
12:33You know?
12:33I'm throwing my diarrhea right in your face.
12:36Like, that's...
12:37It's awful.
12:38Yeah.
12:38It's awful.
12:39Absolutely horrible.
12:39Yeah.
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