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Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May travel across the world to meet different automobile manufacturers and drive cars made by them.
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May travel across the world to meet different automobile manufacturers and drive cars made by them.
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody.
00:01:19And in this show...
00:01:23James stands in a park.
00:01:25I panic in a shop.
00:01:28And Richard is touched by a man.
00:01:34All that is coming later.
00:01:37It is not.
00:01:38Yes, it is.
00:01:41But first, we start with this.
00:01:44This is the new Ford GT.
00:01:46And we have had thousands of letters from people all asking the same thing.
00:01:52We know it's fast.
00:01:54Very fast.
00:01:54But is it faster than an airliner?
00:01:57Well, not thousands of letters.
00:01:59Er, no, not thousands of letters.
00:02:02You mean none?
00:02:02Yes, we have no letters at all.
00:02:05But I was interested in finding out anyway.
00:02:08So this week, the Grand Tour is off to New York.
00:02:11And here it is.
00:02:31Leap inside the concrete canyons of Manhattan.
00:02:41The fastest, most beautiful, most expensive car Ford has ever made.
00:02:49Some are saying that it's just a 647 horsepower racing car for the road.
00:02:56But actually, it's a lot more than that.
00:03:04First things first, it is very practical.
00:03:08It's got a boot, which is the exact same size as the glove box on a Renault Clio.
00:03:14So you can get your luggage in easily.
00:03:16And, unlike the previous GT, it's got doors that you can open in a car park because they go up rather than out.
00:03:25And you can get inside even if you have a head.
00:03:31However, the seat doesn't move.
00:03:34In order to get comfortable, what you have to do is move the steering wheel to where you want it.
00:03:38And then you move the pedals.
00:03:41Pull this sort of ratchet strap here.
00:03:46All right.
00:03:48Is that...
00:03:49Is that fixed?
00:03:51The problem with this moving pedal arrangement is that when I push the brake,
00:04:04how do I know whether I'm applying the brakes or just pushing the pedal further away?
00:04:09How do I know whether it's locked?
00:04:12I don't.
00:04:13After some nerve-wracking city centre miles with a swallowy Adam in my big apple...
00:04:21I arrived in Central Park, the start point of the race that no-one's been asking about.
00:04:29And dressed like everyone else, my rival was waiting.
00:04:33There he is.
00:04:35There he is.
00:04:36Mr. Slowly.
00:04:37Morning.
00:04:38Well...
00:04:39Hang on.
00:04:40Right.
00:04:41What's the plan?
00:04:42Well, we're going to find out whether it's faster to fly or drive from here to the Canadian border.
00:04:49Fly?
00:04:50Well, no, you say that, but if you look on a map, OK, you, because you're not using a car, will have to go from here in Central Park, OK, on a train to JFK, then fly to Buffalo and then use a bus to get to the finish line at the Niagara Falls, where I'll be waiting for you.
00:05:09You won't be waiting for me.
00:05:11Well, well, this thing does 216 miles an hour.
00:05:14Yes, I know, I know, but where between there and there are you going to do 216 miles an hour?
00:05:19Yes, but you've got to spend two hours at JFK being touched inappropriately and giving them your toothpaste.
00:05:24And anyway, you've got a handicap.
00:05:27What handicap?
00:05:28There it is!
00:05:33Seriously?
00:05:34Yes.
00:05:35I thought he was in hospital.
00:05:36No, you mean you hoped he was in hospital, but he isn't.
00:05:39He's come all the way out here.
00:05:40He's keen to get back to work.
00:05:42So I've become a carer.
00:05:45Is that what you're saying?
00:05:46Yes.
00:05:47Morning, Hammond.
00:05:48Morning, chaps. How are you?
00:05:49We're very well.
00:05:50You do know this is a race car, don't you?
00:05:53Yes, apart from the fact it's got indicators and a rear view mirror and lights.
00:05:57Yeah, but it was built to go racing, and you do know racing cars never work on the road.
00:06:01After an hour in this, you'll be scared you're going to die.
00:06:03After two hours, you'll be scared in case you don't die.
00:06:06Should we just get on with this?
00:06:11Ready?
00:06:12Yes.
00:06:14What was that?
00:06:15Nothing.
00:06:16Nothing.
00:06:17That looks tremendous, actually.
00:06:18Oh, we've got it up again now.
00:06:20That was in its VMAX mode.
00:06:22Right, ready?
00:06:24Steady.
00:06:25Yes.
00:06:28Go.
00:06:29He hasn't got a chance, has he?
00:06:34Well, he has if you just stand there. Come on, let's go.
00:06:36It's this way, come on.
00:06:41And there we are, leaving the park.
00:06:43This is good.
00:06:58Come on, Hammond.
00:06:59Yeah, good teamwork.
00:07:01Come on.
00:07:02Oh, it's good to be back.
00:07:04As this was a race between the car and public transport, we'd be using two subway trains, the air train to JFK, a plane to Buffalo, and then two buses to the finish point at the Niagara Falls.
00:07:21Clarkson, meanwhile, had a simple 420-mile thrash from one side of New York State to the other.
00:07:35Yes!
00:07:36The green on 89th.
00:07:40And the green on 90th.
00:07:43We are screaming along now.
00:07:45Help!
00:07:48There are some steps here.
00:07:49Can you manage?
00:07:50Yes!
00:07:51Uh...
00:07:58Hammond, there's more.
00:08:07Start, to begin.
00:08:09English.
00:08:10Fast Metro card.
00:08:11Cash.
00:08:12Not everybody keeps a running commentary as they get themselves a card. Most people just do.
00:08:18Finally, I'd been caught at a red light, but that was okay, because I had an important call to make.
00:08:25Good morning. Thank you for calling JetBlue. How may I help you?
00:08:28Ah, good morning. My name's Jeremy Clarkson.
00:08:31Um, you have James May and Richard Hammond booked on this morning's flight from JFK to Buffalo.
00:08:37Sure. Do you have their confirmation number and or can you spell the last names for me?
00:08:42I don't have a confirmation number. What I can tell you is that they've been accidentally booked by the office into business class.
00:08:49Um, that's not company policy for us, so could you drop them back down to economy?
00:08:53Sure, let me take a look.
00:08:55Okay. I will make this update in their reservation and we will email you a confirmation. Um, is there anything else that we can help you with?
00:09:01No, not for the moment, thanks. Thank you very much.
00:09:07Oh, I'm on form this morning.
00:09:10As was the world's worst carer.
00:09:13Come on.
00:09:29With the world's clumsiest driver stuck in a barrier,
00:09:33I was getting used to the monster that was powering me through Manhattan.
00:09:41I used to own the old Ford GT and that was a brilliant car in every way.
00:09:46Apart from the fact that it was the size of a football pitch, I knocked myself out every time I closed the door.
00:09:53I couldn't see what was coming at junctions and it had such a small fuel tank that I could only go about six yards between fill-ups.
00:10:03This new version, however, is completely different.
00:10:07It is longer than the car I had and wider and harder to see out of.
00:10:13And incredibly, the fuel tank's even smaller. It only holds 12 gallons.
00:10:17And that means that on this 420-mile race, I'm going to have to fill up twice.
00:10:27Eek.
00:10:30It also has literally the hardest ride of any car I've ever driven.
00:10:36And I know New York's roads are atrocious, but this is stiff.
00:10:40This is stiffer than Ron, Jeremy.
00:10:42Meanwhile...
00:10:44This is us.
00:10:46Other than throwing myself down the stairs, this is all I got.
00:10:50Probably missed that one.
00:10:53In the GT, I was already leaving Manhattan.
00:10:57Right, we've got to go across the Georgie, Washington Bridge.
00:11:00Heading for New Jersey.
00:11:02Annoyingly, though, my storming progress was about to be halted by roadworks.
00:11:09This traffic's worse than I thought it was going to be.
00:11:14Come on!
00:11:15Er... James?
00:11:16Annoyingly, though, my storming progress was about to be halted by roadworks.
00:11:25This traffic's worse than I thought it was going to be.
00:11:31Come on!
00:11:38Uh... James?
00:11:43Nothing. Don't worry.
00:11:44What?
00:11:45Nothing.
00:11:47Yeah, but it means both of them.
00:11:49It's not just this one.
00:11:52Come and see the man without a disability sitting in the special seat.
00:11:59Ow!
00:12:00There's nobody else disabled down here.
00:12:01Oh, I'd be better if I could sit in that special seat that's reserved for me.
00:12:06It's reserved for disabled people, not...
00:12:08Like me!
00:12:09You're not disabled.
00:12:10Temporarily, yes, I am.
00:12:11Yeah, so you're not disabled.
00:12:12You've had a playground injury as a result of your own half-wittedness.
00:12:16That's not disabled.
00:12:17I'm surprised you don't do more charity work with people differently abled.
00:12:21Yes.
00:12:26Yes.
00:12:28A lot of love for the fast-forward here.
00:12:31There always is, of course, because they're seen as sort of blue-collar heroes.
00:12:34But that said, this one is $400,000.
00:12:38They actually have two Ferraris for the price of one of these.
00:12:41Two!
00:12:46Meanwhile, Hammond was heading for the next subway train with the help of Captain Compassionate.
00:12:52Come on!
00:12:53Come on, come on, come on!
00:12:54Come on!
00:12:55Come on!
00:12:58Come on!
00:13:03That's gone, then.
00:13:04Yeah.
00:13:06Well, what happened there is, basically, we missed a train,
00:13:08because you don't know to slow down when it says finish across the road.
00:13:13Oh, nice!
00:13:14It sounded bloody like that, but that's exactly what happened then.
00:13:21I, meanwhile, was off the bridge, and at last, the GT had some space to stretch its legs.
00:13:28Right, now, roads are opening up a bit. Time to see what this V6 can do.
00:13:35Right, here we go.
00:13:37Opening the taps!
00:13:45Bloody Nora!
00:13:46Bloody Nora!
00:14:00What a machine!
00:14:03What an astonishing engine!
00:14:07It's a turbocharged V6, not a V8, which it should be in a Ford GT.
00:14:12And it shares 60% of its components with the engine in a Ford pickup truck.
00:14:18And yet, somehow, it feels like a mad caseroom when you put your foot down.
00:14:29I also love the way they haven't messed around with the sound this engine makes.
00:14:33There's no electronic trickery, no artificial farts and bangs. It's just a raucous, deafening racket.
00:14:49As Jeremy deafened himself in New Jersey, we had finished with the subways and were about to board the train to the airport.
00:14:57The train will be in three minutes.
00:15:02I'm going to call May, see how they're doing.
00:15:05Who would you like to call?
00:15:07Vagina.
00:15:08Vagina.
00:15:11I've had to change his name in my contacts. It's not normally Vagina. It's worse than that.
00:15:19Hello, it's me, Eurek.
00:15:22You're going to have to really speak up. My car's quite noisy.
00:15:24I want to know, what time do you get to JFK?
00:15:28We will get to JFK in 25 minutes' time.
00:15:33This is embarrassing, you're making a scene.
00:15:35I'm hoping to get the 11 minutes past one flight.
00:15:39Hello?
00:15:41May!
00:15:43You know what, he's done some Bluetooth-ing, hasn't he?
00:15:46Oh, look.
00:15:49Oh.
00:15:50That's not worked, has it?
00:15:55What bloody noise, honestly?
00:15:57Well, what can I do about it?
00:15:58Put some springs in them or something.
00:16:02On the freeway, I was falling even more under the spell of the GT.
00:16:08This car was actually developed by a team of just 20 people, and they did it under the radar of Ford's management.
00:16:18They had no idea it was going on.
00:16:21Their only contribution to it was insisting it had a little sort of glove box thing down here in front of the seat,
00:16:27so that when they were testing it on the streets of Detroit, they had somewhere to store their Glocks.
00:16:34And it does actually feel like it was put together by a small team.
00:16:39It doesn't feel like the product of a mass-market manufacturer.
00:16:43There's nothing subtle or damped or gentle about anything it does.
00:16:47I just love it.
00:16:51On the air train, we, too, were finally making swift progress.
00:16:57Well, that's quite good, isn't it?
00:16:58It's excellent.
00:17:00How fast would you say this was going?
00:17:02It's probably 60 miles an hour.
00:17:04It's great.
00:17:06Observe, the train is going faster than the cars.
00:17:10Not my car, it wasn't.
00:17:16As we are now in the steady cruise, I put it in comfort, and I can relax.
00:17:23In fact, the office has provided me with an audio book, which will help me do just that.
00:17:28Here we go.
00:17:30I knew innately that loosening them meant turning them anticlockwise.
00:17:34A tiny hairspring that contracted...
00:17:36Sadly, it turned out to be a James May talking book on how to mend things.
00:17:42What I didn't appreciate at the age of five was the facility that the freshly wound mainspring had
00:17:47for completing the disassembly process for me.
00:17:49And as a quantum event of that, it was there.
00:17:53Having reached JFK in no time at all,
00:17:58Hopalong Hammond was now slowing us down again.
00:18:00So I decided to speed him up.
00:18:04You do realise this is not a self-propelled one. It hasn't got the big wheels. You'll have to push me.
00:18:10Yeah, that's all right.
00:18:11Cool.
00:18:12It's better than listening to that clink, chink, clink, chink noise for the rest of the day.
00:18:16Yeah, you've really suffered, mate. I don't know how you've put up with it.
00:18:21I'm just going to do a quick brake test. It's all right?
00:18:23Yeah.
00:18:25Yeah, they work.
00:18:27Off came the back. Suspiciously easily, I would now realise.
00:18:31More screws lay within and on I went, like one of Carter's archaeologists.
00:18:35Unable to resist them.
00:18:36How did he stay awake to read that out?
00:18:40He's reassembling an alarm clock and he's made an audio book of it.
00:18:45Oh, God!
00:18:48With Hammond now on four wheels, we were doing well.
00:18:53This is so easy.
00:18:54Yes.
00:18:58However.
00:19:02Are you able to, um, stand?
00:19:04Uh, yes, on crutches. James, have you got my crutches?
00:19:07Well, I left them back in the... over there.
00:19:09I can't get in there without crutches.
00:19:11Well, I didn't think you were complaining about them.
00:19:12I didn't think you wanted them anymore.
00:19:13Well, you've got to keep them away. It's like it's a reserve parachute.
00:19:16You don't go, I'm not using that one.
00:19:18Right, we haven't got the crutches. Please, may we go through the...
00:19:20We'll have, we'll have him pat it down.
00:19:23I want to.
00:19:24Pat down.
00:19:25Yeah, okay.
00:19:26It may have been okay for him, but it definitely wasn't okay for me.
00:19:29All right, so I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to give you a pat down today, okay?
00:19:38All right, so the pat down consists of me starting from the top all the way to the top of your feet.
00:19:43For your sensitive areas, I have to use the back of my hands in a sliding motion from your waist going down, over your groin, and across your groin as well.
00:19:51Then slide it my way down your leg, okay?
00:20:02Set rep.
00:20:04300 miles to go.
00:20:06And I've been doing 16.4 miles to the gallon.
00:20:11Now I'm on the motorway.
00:20:12That's not bad.
00:20:13I mean, it's not a Prius, but it's not bad.
00:20:16They should be at JFK now having their penises touched and their deodorant confiscated.
00:20:25I'm going to go up and down, okay?
00:20:32I'm going down.
00:20:36Good.
00:20:37Now I'm going to go up and down again one more time in the top of the leg.
00:20:40At this point, I decided to make life even worse for Hammond and May by making another call to their airline.
00:20:49Thank you for coming, Jeff. Will, how may I help you?
00:20:52Yeah, I'm really sorry to trouble you again. It's Jeremy Clarkson here.
00:20:55I spoke earlier about downgrading Mr. May and Mr. Hammond to economy class.
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:02I don't know if I could just tell you in confidence, they've both just come out of rehab.
00:21:07So, on the flight, could you make sure the attendants don't give them any alcohol?
00:21:13Oh, thank you for letting us know.
00:21:15I will go into the reservation and make a note of this and give it to our flight crew, but we will make sure to accommodate this special request.
00:21:24Okay, thank you for your understanding. Thank you so much.
00:21:27Thanks for calling.
00:21:28Calling for Jaina.
00:21:30Hold on.
00:21:32Hello.
00:21:33Where are you?
00:21:35We're at JFK. How far have you got?
00:21:38I've done 153 miles.
00:21:40153?
00:21:42Yep.
00:21:43Right, well, this is where we catch up. We're about to board the 500 mile an hour shuttle.
00:21:48How long's your flight?
00:21:49One hour and 15 minutes.
00:21:51That's...
00:21:53I could literally... I might stop and have lunch in a minute.
00:21:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:57We'll see you at the end and we'll keep a beer warm for you.
00:22:00You definitely will need a drink when you get to the end. I assure you of that.
00:22:04I've got to go now. Important work.
00:22:07Goodbye.
00:22:09Economy and no drinks.
00:22:12I am so going to win this today.
00:22:16Call's over. I put my foot down and went back into the noise zone.
00:22:21Oh, no!
00:22:22Oh, no!
00:22:23Oh, no!
00:22:25Oh, no!
00:22:27Oh, no!
00:22:29Oh, no!
00:22:31Oh, no!
00:22:33Oh, no!
00:22:35Oh, no!
00:22:37Honestly...
00:22:39You would not believe...
00:22:42You simply wouldn't believe the noise that that car makes.
00:22:47It's just...
00:22:49It's just so relentless.
00:22:51Yeah, I can't imagine having to put up with an endless bellowing drone.
00:22:55Yeah, it's a dreary drone.
00:22:57Yeah, just going on and on and on and on.
00:23:01Yes.
00:23:02Yeah, anyway, you think you have it bad.
00:23:04I was travelling with a handicap.
00:23:06James, it's not 1950.
00:23:08The correct term these days is a disabled.
00:23:11He's not disabled, he's just clumsy.
00:23:13What?
00:23:15Actually, on that whole point, able-bodied people like to think that everything that could be done to make life easier and convenient for disabled people has been done.
00:23:25But when you find yourself in that position, you realise it really, really hasn't.
00:23:30Hmm.
00:23:31The Grand Tour, a show that cares.
00:23:34LAUGHTER
00:23:36This week, this week it's disabled people, and next week we're doing people who are BLTs.
00:23:42That's a sandwich.
00:23:44Oh, no, what is it I mean?
00:23:46You mean LGBT.
00:23:48Yes, that.
00:23:50That's what I meant, not BLT.
00:23:52No, it's lesbian, gay, bacon and tomato.
00:23:55That's my favourite sandwich and we're doing that next week.
00:23:58Later on, though, we'll be picking the race up, so don't go away.
00:24:02No, absolutely, there'll be more of that later.
00:24:04But now it is time for us to lean on the lamppost of chat in Conversation Street.
00:24:09MUSIC PLAYS
00:24:18Right, yes, now.
00:24:20Formula One season is over and, as we all know, I'm sure Lewis Hamilton is world champion and well done him.
00:24:28I think that's, er, we all agree on that.
00:24:30I'm sure the baby Jesus is very pleased.
00:24:33No, don't, Dad. Get with him, I like that.
00:24:34Oh, yeah, close.
00:24:35Well, for me, though, the highlight of the entire season was on the podium in Mexico,
00:24:42where Kimi Räikkönen set what I think is a new world record for the longest chug of champagne.
00:24:48Did he?
00:24:49Honestly, everyone else is sort of spraying it around.
00:24:51I don't know if anybody else noticed.
00:24:53Back of shot.
00:24:56I know the Finns like a drink, but he must have titanium throat.
00:25:00Imagine the burpee did afterwards.
00:25:03A whole bottle. It's staggering.
00:25:05No, I think the problem is, for most people, the champagne on the podium is a ritual,
00:25:09but for Kimi Räikkönen, it's just another drink and he hasn't had one for at least two hours.
00:25:13I've been doing this for hours.
00:25:15I often wonder, you know, in Abu Dhabi, on the podium, they're given rose water, not champagne.
00:25:18So if Kimi's coming third, he's thinking, I've got to go on the podium for 20 minutes and drink rose water.
00:25:25Mmm. Mmm. Oh, no, I'm fourth. I can go straight to my motorhome and have a beer.
00:25:30Tuck in.
00:25:31I mean, he is a Finn. That's what they do.
00:25:33Yeah.
00:25:35Anyway, self-driving cars.
00:25:37We're told they're coming.
00:25:39We were told this week, actually, that there's a problem.
00:25:41In cities like New York, and I guess other cities around the world,
00:25:44that people who drive them, and indeed the cars themselves, are going to be bullied.
00:25:48Bullied?
00:25:49Yes, bullied. That's what they're saying.
00:25:50Because, obviously, these cars will be programmed to never run over a person, okay?
00:25:55Which means you can just go and stand in front of them.
00:25:58I mean, you could.
00:25:59But you could. Actually, if you could be better than that, you can probably herd them a bit.
00:26:02No, I could herd them, and I would herd them.
00:26:05Because can you imagine how sanctimonious the man sitting in his new self-driving car is going to be with his paper?
00:26:10I'm not driving this, I'm just reading the paper while it drives me home.
00:26:14Well, if you just go back up, back up, then it could be going,
00:26:17Back him into a river.
00:26:19Yeah, because...
00:26:20That's what I'd be. I would.
00:26:22They'll have all those algorithms on board for the moral decisions, won't they, as to what they're going to do.
00:26:26So, carry a fake baby.
00:26:28Oh, good plan.
00:26:29Just walk up to him, because then the car will think,
00:26:31oh, fake baby or a fat, smug man in a business suit, he's going in the river, isn't he?
00:26:35He's going, he is exactly right.
00:26:36That would be tremendous fun.
00:26:37Sadly, I don't think we're going to see anything like an autonomous car until long after we're dead.
00:26:42No, I couldn't agree with you more.
00:26:43They are years and years and years away, decades away.
00:26:47It's such a complicated area to apply what is essentially robotic.
00:26:51You're dead right about robotics.
00:26:52I mean, I don't yet have a robot that could make me a cup of tea, which is quite simple.
00:26:57Or bring me my slippers.
00:26:58No, just domestic stuff.
00:26:59And sex robots aren't even here yet.
00:27:01That's people from Essex, isn't it?
00:27:03Isn't there a show about it? There's a TV show about that, isn't there?
00:27:06Anyone from Essex?
00:27:07Orange, orange sex robots.
00:27:08You are from Essex?
00:27:09There's a sex robot here, look.
00:27:10Hiya.
00:27:12That's what he thinks of you. I don't, personally.
00:27:14That's amazing, it's incredibly convincing.
00:27:16It is, I mean, it's...
00:27:18Can you go like that?
00:27:20Can we stop this conversation? It's going to go somewhere wrong.
00:27:23The way I would sum this up is this, okay?
00:27:25Somebody who says,
00:27:26we've made this self-driving car, it's brilliant,
00:27:28I will take him to Bolivia.
00:27:30Put him at the bottom of Death Road
00:27:32and say, right, sit in it, reading your paper,
00:27:34while it drives you up there,
00:27:36passing all the buses with the thousand-foot drop.
00:27:38You're prepared to do that and you can reach the top
00:27:40with no poo in your underpants.
00:27:43I'll buy one.
00:27:44Enjoy reading your newspaper all the way.
00:27:46It's not going to work.
00:27:47No, it is. Right, read that.
00:27:49Right, so that's covered self-driving cars, we needn't worry.
00:27:51Right, shall we move it on?
00:27:52Yes, moving on.
00:27:54Interesting news, this week,
00:27:56Jeremy has been approached to be the ambassador...
00:27:59Oh, yeah.
00:28:00..for a vineyard in the south of France.
00:28:02Yes, I have.
00:28:03What are they thinking?
00:28:04Can you imagine a better job than that?
00:28:07Oh, yeah.
00:28:08I am the ambassador for Chateau...
00:28:12How's that going to go?
00:28:14And where is the ambassador?
00:28:15Oh, he's out the back,
00:28:16completely clattered where he always is.
00:28:19You're not an ambassador, you're a customer.
00:28:21Sorry.
00:28:22He's out the back with pneumonia.
00:28:23Oh, yes, yes.
00:28:24Still droning on about that.
00:28:25I'm doryl pneumonia.
00:28:27I don't know how it's going to work, though,
00:28:29because the problem is the three of us have never had a commercial tie
00:28:31in every year.
00:28:32I mean, you may be surprised to hear this.
00:28:34We dress ourselves.
00:28:36No, it doesn't mean we put our clothes on ourselves.
00:28:39No, no.
00:28:40We're not sponsored by a clothing company.
00:28:42I know you're going to be staggered to hear that.
00:28:44Models owned.
00:28:45Yes, this is it.
00:28:46I go into a shop and I choose these,
00:28:48and then I buy them with my money, watches and everything.
00:28:50We buy everything ourselves.
00:28:52That's why we don't know how it works, really,
00:28:54all the commercial stuff.
00:28:55No, we are on...
00:28:56Actually, it's funny you should mention that,
00:28:57because you know that pink and purple striped rugby shirt thing
00:29:00that I've had for years?
00:29:01Yeah.
00:29:02That I always wear.
00:29:03You do.
00:29:04Top?
00:29:05Did you just say top?
00:29:06Where's the top?
00:29:07It's not a shirt.
00:29:08It's not a t-shirt.
00:29:09It is a top.
00:29:10I'm sorry, I've never said this before in my entire life,
00:29:12and I promise I'll never say it again,
00:29:13but I'm with James May on this.
00:29:14A man cannot wear a top.
00:29:15Well, no, no, but that is...
00:29:17Technically, it's a hooped top.
00:29:19Anyway, that's not the point.
00:29:20I was at an event once,
00:29:21and a man sidled up to me,
00:29:22and he took me to one side,
00:29:23and he was from Gantz,
00:29:24the big American clothing company that made that thing,
00:29:26originally that shirt.
00:29:27I was at an event once,
00:29:28and a man sidled up to me,
00:29:29and he took me to one side,
00:29:30and he was from Gantz,
00:29:31the big American clothing company that made that thing,
00:29:33originally that shirt,
00:29:35and he begged me,
00:29:36he said,
00:29:37please stop wearing it.
00:29:40And then,
00:29:41but it got better than that,
00:29:43because he says,
00:29:44if you stop wearing it,
00:29:45you can have as many free clothes as you like.
00:29:48But I still said no,
00:29:49because I'm an arse.
00:29:51You are.
00:29:52Hey!
00:29:53What about...
00:29:54Why don't we do...
00:29:55What?
00:29:56Reverse sponsorship.
00:29:57It's just occurring to me.
00:29:59You know Levi's once said,
00:30:01I'm ruining the Levi reputation.
00:30:03They did.
00:30:04Because I always wear Levi's.
00:30:05Why don't I say to them,
00:30:06give me a hundred grand,
00:30:08I'll wear Ranglers.
00:30:10I like that.
00:30:11We could take it to what...
00:30:12No, no, what about watches?
00:30:14I'm going to say something deeply offensive
00:30:16to thousands and millions of people around the world,
00:30:19Omega,
00:30:20unless you send me 50 grand and I'll wear a Rolex.
00:30:24Which is the watch of choice for all the world's arses.
00:30:27I'm not a lawyer.
00:30:30You're not?
00:30:31But isn't that extortion?
00:30:33It is extortion.
00:30:35It just is.
00:30:36I'll tell you what,
00:30:37I've got a better idea.
00:30:38What?
00:30:39Why don't we say to people they can put in biz
00:30:40to put their logo on the bottom of Richard Hammond's car?
00:30:43Because chances are they'll be nice.
00:30:45Yes.
00:30:48Imagine the commentary.
00:30:49And here comes Richard Hammond.
00:30:50Oh, no, he's gone off. Pepsi.
00:30:52That's a very good idea.
00:30:54Moving on.
00:30:55That's the end of Conversation Street.
00:30:56We must move it on with this.
00:30:57Imagine what it's like to be a car designer.
00:30:59You love cars.
00:31:00You always have.
00:31:01Your school exercise books were full of drawings of cars.
00:31:02You worked hard.
00:31:03You got to college.
00:31:04You learned about geometry and proportions and classicism and air flow and legislation.
00:31:19And then one day you get your qualification and you land your dream job at somewhere like
00:31:24Mercedes Benz and you spend your first four years designing the new seatbelt release button
00:31:33a release button for the A-class hatchback.
00:31:36Or a tailgate handle for a van.
00:31:38Yeah. No, no, look, it's not exactly what they dreamt of as kids, is it, car designers?
00:31:44Which is why they occasionally get bullshit.
00:31:46And they say to the management,
00:31:48look, would you please let us do something interesting?
00:31:51And that is obviously what's happened with the new Mercedes GT-R.
00:32:03You just know the designers have said, can it be green?
00:32:18And can it have a mouth that could be used for sifting krill?
00:32:21And can the bonnet be nine miles long?
00:32:23And can it have bits of the Battlestar Galactica and its gills?
00:32:29The bosses obviously thought they're being idiotic.
00:32:33But, to keep them sweet, they let them get on with it.
00:32:39The Upshot is a car that only really appeals to those who have a mental age of eight.
00:32:44And that's me and every other man.
00:32:53It even makes a childish noise.
00:32:58It's just brilliant.
00:33:03Unfortunately, however, because the stylists were allowed to do what they wanted,
00:33:12the engineers then stuck out their bottom lips and said they wanted a free hand too.
00:33:18The trouble is that unlike car stylists who are flamboyant and usually drunk,
00:33:29car engineers tend to be very sensible.
00:33:31And you can tell this just by looking at their trousers.
00:33:34So, they fitted this with all sorts of sensible stuff.
00:33:39It's got a flap, for example, which lowers itself from the bottom of the car when you're going quickly
00:33:45to reduce the air pressure down there.
00:33:47And that literally sucks the car into the tarmac, giving you more grip.
00:33:52Then there's the traction control, which you can turn off using this button here.
00:33:58And then you can decide how off you'd like it to be using this piece of Lego here.
00:34:05You turn it that way and it's really very off indeed.
00:34:09And then you swivel it round and now it's only slightly off.
00:34:13I never knew off was a variable thing, but there you go.
00:34:22Other things?
00:34:23Well, the body's made from carbon fibre and titanium and magnesium to make it light.
00:34:30And it's got two venturi tunnels at the back and short gearing and four-wheel steering.
00:34:37There's so much techy stuff on the GT-R, in fact, that it is really very fast and extremely well sorted out.
00:35:07The turning, thanks to the four-wheel steering, is incredible.
00:35:16And when you go through dental care, Swindon, run by dentists, four patients,
00:35:21it's like a small and very eager dog.
00:35:26Then you've got the gearbox, which I think was designed by Mystic Meg,
00:35:30because it always seems to know what's going to happen next.
00:35:37It is uncanny.
00:35:40But the best thing is the braking.
00:35:43You ready?
00:35:45Watch this.
00:35:51Has my face actually come off?
00:35:53It has, hasn't it?
00:35:54Small wonder, then, that the GT-R holds the lap record for rear-wheel drive cars at the Nurburgring.
00:36:01And that is its problem.
00:36:05Because AMG Mercs aren't really supposed to set lap records.
00:36:09They're not supposed to be particularly fast.
00:36:13You buy an AMG Merc because you want it to do this.
00:36:17Make a lot of noise while sliding through a cloud of its own tyre smoke.
00:36:27In an AMG Merc, you don't want to go round a corner crisply at 150.
00:36:33You want to go round smiling and sideways at about 27.
00:36:40And there's another thing, too.
00:36:44The engine.
00:36:47It's a twin-turbo-charged V8, which produces 577 horsepower.
00:36:52And that's a lot.
00:36:54But exactly the same engine in an E-Class saloon produces more than 600 horsepower.
00:37:00So why not use that engine in here?
00:37:08The only possible reason is that soon there'll be a more powerful, even faster version of this car.
00:37:15So why buy this one now?
00:37:20It's a good question.
00:37:23I wouldn't.
00:37:24So who would buy a car like that?
00:37:25I don't know. I've never met anyone who I think would like that car, would want to buy it. Never.
00:37:33Besides all that though, if you want something that feels like a Porsche, why not buy, say, a Porsche? Because Porsche are really good at making Porsches.
00:37:46They are. They are. They are. They are. They're so good at making Porsche, in fact, that since you've filmed that, their new GT2 has gone round the Nürburgring faster than the GTR.
00:38:00Do you know the worst thing is, OK, that's the first time I've ever filmed an AMG Merc and finished the day on the same set of tyres I started with.
00:38:09And I don't like that. I want an AMG Merc to eat its own feet in every single corner. That's the point of it.
00:38:15Yes. Anyway, if you are the sort of person who wants to buy a shouty lime green car that looks mad but actually isn't, then you'll probably want to know how fast it goes around our Ebola drone.
00:38:26Yeah, now last year that would have meant handing it over to the American. But we're not using him any more because he didn't like coming to England.
00:38:35And because you all hated him.
00:38:37Well, that too.
00:38:39But the point is, we needed a replacement. We needed a new driver. And we've spent the last nine months auditioning everyone we could think of, former F1 drivers, rally drivers, stunt drivers, test drivers, until we ended up with the fastest.
00:38:55And here she is.
00:38:57Right. Here we go.
00:39:00And she's off. Tidy start. No wheel spin. Full power from the twin turbo V8 to the first corner. Will she lift?
00:39:06No, it didn't sound like she did.
00:39:10Right. Second corner. Balancing the car nicely.
00:39:13God, that thing looks planted.
00:39:16Right. Here we go. This is the tricky bit. Let's have a look how she's getting on round here.
00:39:20Ooh, that thing looks planted.
00:39:22And quick.
00:39:24And she's on the raggedy edge on the downchangers.
00:39:27Michelin squealing in pain, but that is...
00:39:30Let's have a look. Yep. Inch perfect.
00:39:32Now, back onto the isn't.
00:39:33She really has. Only one throttle position here, and it is in the carpet.
00:39:39OK, lifting now, and into the old lady's house complex.
00:39:44Working the low-speed grip through there.
00:39:47Yep. And back on the gas for the bumpy run to substation.
00:39:52Showing no mercy down there.
00:39:55Leaving the braking nice and late.
00:39:57Tidy line through the second-to-last corner.
00:40:01Just field of sheep to go.
00:40:02Really on it through there.
00:40:04And across the line.
00:40:08That was an impressive lap, but let's see how fast it was.
00:40:12Here we go.
00:40:14Pass the dirt. It's quicker. Yes!
00:40:15One-eighteen-seven. That...
00:40:21That is quick.
00:40:24Yeah, it is, and she is an incredible driver.
00:40:26No, she's a phenomenal driver. Absolutely phenomenal.
00:40:28We are delighted to have her on board.
00:40:31But now it is time to move on to Celebrity Face-Off.
00:40:35Yes, and once again, it is an international event as baseball takes on cricket.
00:40:55In short, we're trying to find out who is the fastest person in the world
00:40:59who earns a living from throwing and catching small balls.
00:41:02LAUGHTER
00:41:04So, would you please welcome...
00:41:06Kevin Peterson.
00:41:07I'm Brian Wilson!
00:41:09APPLAUSE
00:41:11Thank you, mate.
00:41:13Kevin, how are you?
00:41:14Good.
00:41:16Have a seat.
00:41:18Good to see you.
00:41:20That is a look.
00:41:24That is a look you've got going there.
00:41:26Now, first of all, thank you very much for coming.
00:41:29Thanks for having us.
00:41:30And let's begin with a simple one, OK?
00:41:32Actually, it's not that simple.
00:41:34Kevin, could you explain to our American viewers what cricket is?
00:41:38LAUGHTER
00:41:39I think I'm very lucky we've got...
00:41:40I'm bored already, actually.
00:41:42LAUGHTER
00:41:44Now, go on, have another bash.
00:41:46No.
00:41:48Just because I don't like it, it gives me hay fever.
00:41:50Go on.
00:41:51It's... yeah, it's very difficult.
00:41:53For American... I play a lot of golf with a lot of American people
00:41:55and they literally, after two minutes, tell me to go away swearing at me.
00:41:59Because how can you play a game for five days and not get a result?
00:42:02But there's T20s that Brian Lowe's all about.
00:42:04He's been to Indy, he's played T20s in India.
00:42:06Have you?
00:42:07And it's actually a pretty cool game.
00:42:08I reckon you could do a T20.
00:42:10No, I couldn't.
00:42:12With cricket, you stand there on the outfield, like the ball...
00:42:16Superheators and re-entry.
00:42:18It's kind of...
00:42:20And then it always lands right on the end of your fake...
00:42:23That finger.
00:42:24Yeah, everyone shouts.
00:42:25That's convenient.
00:42:27Everybody shouts and they'll drop the ball and you're batting
00:42:30and some enormous man like...
00:42:32It's miserable, it goes on, as you say, five days.
00:42:34Actually, before we move on,
00:42:36perhaps you could explain to the British viewers what baseball is.
00:42:40It's not that much more exciting.
00:42:42LAUGHTER
00:42:45Because, I mean, I've seen...
00:42:46It's a little faster.
00:42:47I've seen clips of it in films, like Good Will Hunting,
00:42:49there's a scene of it.
00:42:50It's Rounders.
00:42:52LAUGHTER
00:42:53Now, I just learned...
00:42:54It is Rounders, isn't it?
00:42:55I just learned what Rounders was today
00:42:57and, in all fairness, no,
00:42:59though it's not like that,
00:43:01men play this sport as well.
00:43:03Can you be drunk while playing baseball?
00:43:07You can be, I guess, yeah.
00:43:08Because, I mean, everyone is in cricket, I presume.
00:43:10No, we're all pissheads.
00:43:12Cricketists are pissheads.
00:43:13Well, I was reading a story...
00:43:14The celebrated cricketers, the Flintoffs, the Warns, pissheads.
00:43:17LAUGHTER
00:43:18Pissheads?
00:43:19Yeah, that's...
00:43:20It's OK.
00:43:21Pissheads, you can say that.
00:43:22Or, as we call them, Ambassadors.
00:43:23LAUGHTER
00:43:25With pneumonia.
00:43:26That's what it is.
00:43:27It's, um...
00:43:28I was astonished to read the other day about the England cricket team
00:43:36and how...
00:43:37And, actually, the Australian cricket team as well,
00:43:38I presume it's the same in South Africa,
00:43:40is how much drinking went on at the tea break.
00:43:43Yeah.
00:43:44There's a world record for the amount of alcohol consumed
00:43:46on an aeroplane by a cricketer from Australia for the Ashes.
00:43:50And there was an Australian cricketer that drank 52 beers
00:43:53on his way over from Australia.
00:43:55LAUGHTER
00:43:56That's aggressive.
00:43:5752 beers.
00:43:58That's a big amount.
00:43:59That's a lot of drunks.
00:44:00Now, um...
00:44:01We must move on to cars, if we may, having covered the sport.
00:44:05Oh, sure.
00:44:06Um, maybe we begin with you, Ryan, OK?
00:44:08You had, I think it's fair to say,
00:44:10an inauspicious start to your driving career.
00:44:13It wasn't the best start, no.
00:44:15So, um...
00:44:1616, got my licence.
00:44:18First day I got a speeding ticket.
00:44:20I mean, that was expected.
00:44:22Second day, though, it's about 1am,
00:44:24apparently we have a curfew that I didn't know about.
00:44:26You have to be in bed by a certain time as a 16-year-old.
00:44:29I'm thinking, no, I don't.
00:44:30So I rolled through the stop sign,
00:44:32and I see the blue lights,
00:44:34and I'm thinking, I'm in a 94 Thunderbird.
00:44:36Like, this is a V8 engine.
00:44:38So I speed.
00:44:40Now I'm getting in a police chase.
00:44:42And now the adrenaline's going.
00:44:43The second day.
00:44:44The second day.
00:44:45And I'm driving around my neighborhood,
00:44:47and I accidentally hit an electrical box,
00:44:49and the power goes out, and I feel really bad.
00:44:51LAUGHTER
00:44:52But, but I left this guy in the dust.
00:44:54Like...
00:44:55LAUGHTER
00:44:56I got all the way to my driveway,
00:44:58but because I turned the keys off,
00:45:00the car was automatic lights.
00:45:02Hmm.
00:45:03So the cop just followed the lights
00:45:05and arrested me in my driveway,
00:45:07in my front yard.
00:45:08And so, what do you get for that?
00:45:10What do you get?
00:45:11You get to go to jail.
00:45:12You get a free ride.
00:45:13LAUGHTER
00:45:15And I'm amazed they pull you over,
00:45:17because you look like an accountant.
00:45:18I'm just saying.
00:45:19LAUGHTER
00:45:20This is a slow Tuesday.
00:45:21See me on the weekends.
00:45:23LAUGHTER
00:45:24So, Kevin, your first car was a Nissan...
00:45:26Pulsa?
00:45:27Which is boring.
00:45:28It's not as good as his V8 Thunderbird, is it?
00:45:30Yeah.
00:45:31It is boring.
00:45:32Apart from a couple of gadgets,
00:45:33I've got a couple of gadgets
00:45:34that were put in from my grandfather,
00:45:36my late grandfather.
00:45:37And in South Africa,
00:45:38the crime rate's pretty severe,
00:45:40so there was a little switch
00:45:41that he had put in underneath the ignition
00:45:43that you had to flip before you could turn the car.
00:45:44If you didn't flip it within 20 seconds,
00:45:46the car would cut out.
00:45:47It would explode,
00:45:48killing everybody within 40 yards.
00:45:49That's safe.
00:45:50That's the South African way.
00:45:51Yeah, and there was another one,
00:45:52which was reverse.
00:45:53Every time you put it into reverse,
00:45:54it was doot-doot-doot-doot-doot.
00:45:56So, I'm a cool 18-year-old
00:45:57driving around Durban.
00:45:58As I put in reverse,
00:45:59everyone goes,
00:46:00where's the f***ing truck?
00:46:01LAUGHTER
00:46:02That was a little redness impulsive,
00:46:04doot-doot-doot-doot, out of it.
00:46:05So, really, you're basically
00:46:07you're a slightly more wild driver.
00:46:08And did you not buy a police car at one stage?
00:46:11I did have a police car.
00:46:13And I did get pulled over in that.
00:46:16So...
00:46:17Again, why would you get pulled over?
00:46:19It wasn't my fault.
00:46:20They said I was trying to impersonate a police officer,
00:46:23which I wasn't.
00:46:24It was just a cool car to drive in.
00:46:26I may have pulled a friend over, as a joke.
00:46:28LAUGHTER
00:46:30But who wouldn't?
00:46:31Because you have sirens and all.
00:46:32You have sirens.
00:46:33Have you ever gone anywhere in a car
00:46:36and not been pulled over by the police?
00:46:38Because I managed...
00:46:39I was just thinking,
00:46:40going back to the sporting thing,
00:46:41when you played cricket briefly in India,
00:46:43you even managed to get into trouble with that one.
00:46:45Yeah, it felt really bad.
00:46:47Really?
00:46:48So, well...
00:46:49Where I was, it was just a large field
00:46:51and there might have been like a hundred games going on.
00:46:53All the kids from around local playing.
00:46:55And they said,
00:46:56hey, you want to try?
00:46:57So, no one tells me any of these rules,
00:46:59so there's these three little...
00:47:00What do you call wickets?
00:47:01Wickets.
00:47:02Like, OK, what do I do?
00:47:03They give me this paddle-looking thing.
00:47:05Like, just stand there.
00:47:07And then this guy is going to throw to you.
00:47:09And he throws it and it hits the ground.
00:47:11I'm like, what?
00:47:12That's a bad pitch.
00:47:13And it hits the wickets and all the kids start laughing at me.
00:47:15Like, what are you...
00:47:16What are you guys laughing at?
00:47:17Give me another shot.
00:47:18So I stand up.
00:47:19Just absolutely destroy it.
00:47:22It leaves the park.
00:47:23It hits like an apartment building.
00:47:25And I'm just like, I'm the greatest!
00:47:29The guy that brought me there told me,
00:47:31that's the only ball that they have.
00:47:35And immediately I just went...
00:47:37Yeah.
00:47:38Oh.
00:47:39I feel terrible.
00:47:40Yeah, we've had that ball in our town for three generations.
00:47:43Yeah, I would have as well.
00:47:44Treasure it.
00:47:45Now, going back to cars.
00:47:47You, at one stage, as I understand it,
00:47:50had a Vauxhall Vectra.
00:47:52I did.
00:47:53And you said to our researcher, when they called you the other day,
00:47:56I have nothing particularly interesting to say about that.
00:48:01I've been known to be a straight shooter.
00:48:03Put it there.
00:48:04I once had to do a TV show where I was asked to review one of those
00:48:07and couldn't think of a thing.
00:48:08Couldn't think of anything.
00:48:09It was four wheels and a f***ing seat.
00:48:13Why did you have one?
00:48:14The team was sponsored by Vauxhall.
00:48:17You were sponsored by Vauxhall?
00:48:18The team was sponsored by Vauxhall.
00:48:19Oh, I've done another sport.
00:48:20LAUGHTER
00:48:23Now, we must get on to why you were here.
00:48:25Obviously, you're only the second group of people we've ever had
00:48:28around the track.
00:48:29How was it out there?
00:48:30It was...
00:48:31I found it comfortable on the top,
00:48:33but as soon as we veered off there, it was difficult.
00:48:36It was intimidating.
00:48:37Is it?
00:48:38I f***ing loved it.
00:48:39LAUGHTER
00:48:40There were grass clippings all over the car.
00:48:42I just took it off-road a little bit.
00:48:44It was fun.
00:48:45Yeah, I've been hearing.
00:48:46Anyway, we can get it mended for next week.
00:48:48Kevin, we're going to see you all at first.
00:48:50Yeah.
00:48:51OK, let's bring it up and see how you've gone on.
00:48:53Is that a slow-motion start?
00:48:55Oh, no, you're building up speed as you cross the line.
00:48:57Come on, Kevin!
00:48:58Come on, Kevin!
00:48:59Oh, that's a determined-looking face.
00:49:02Clipping the corner but keeping two wheels on the track.
00:49:04Nice to see.
00:49:05That could...
00:49:06Yes, you can break there,
00:49:07and then you've got a slingshot
00:49:09into what we're calling the difficult bit.
00:49:11That's when it goes really skatey,
00:49:13as you've really got to pay attention.
00:49:15Ooh, I say, that's really good.
00:49:17For a man who grew up with a Pulsar.
00:49:19Kevin, you absolutely nutty.
00:49:22Oh, look at that! It's got the tail out.
00:49:24Yeah, I've got the tail out.
00:49:25Got the tail out there.
00:49:26The traction control saved it,
00:49:28and they just floor it all the way through
00:49:29to difficult bit two.
00:49:33Oh, she's going all right?
00:49:34Nicely done.
00:49:35That was tough.
00:49:36Yeah.
00:49:37It is a tough bit,
00:49:38and then this is really slippery
00:49:39when you come back on the tarmac.
00:49:40You think, that's OK, and it isn't.
00:49:41That's OK.
00:49:44Tyre's being absolutely tortured.
00:49:46That's looking nice.
00:49:47Right, on to the straight.
00:49:48Come on, baby!
00:49:49Come on, baby!
00:49:51It's more exciting than cricket.
00:49:53Way more!
00:49:54As he's being asleep.
00:49:56Were you flat out through there?
00:49:57I was flat out through there,
00:49:58and then I messed this up.
00:49:59Ooh!
00:50:00Yeah, I messed it up.
00:50:01Yeah, I messed it up.
00:50:02Yeah, I messed it up.
00:50:03Bawsy flat out through there.
00:50:04We crossed the line.
00:50:05You did it.
00:50:06I got it.
00:50:07Ty?
00:50:08Ty?
00:50:09Ty?
00:50:10Ty?
00:50:11Ty?
00:50:12Ty?
00:50:13Ty?
00:50:14Ty?
00:50:15Ty?
00:50:16Ty?
00:50:17Ty?
00:50:18Ty?
00:50:19Ty?
00:50:20Ty?
00:50:21Ty?
00:50:22Ty?
00:50:23Ty?
00:50:24Ty?
00:50:25Ty?
00:50:26Ty?
00:50:27Ty?
00:50:28Ty?
00:50:29Ty?
00:50:30Ty?
00:50:31Ty?
00:50:32Ty?
00:50:33Ty?
00:50:34Ty?
00:50:35Ty?
00:50:36Ty?
00:50:37Ty?
00:50:38Ty?
00:50:39Ty?
00:50:40Ty?
00:50:41Ty?
00:50:42Ty?
00:50:43Ty?
00:50:44Ty?
00:50:45Ty?
00:50:46Ty?
00:50:47It's not Formula One. We won't penalise him for this. We have no stewards.
00:50:54Oh! Oh, my God! Coming in hot!
00:50:58Holding it well, though. I must say, that is exuberant.
00:51:02He's on fire!
00:51:06Into the gravel cell, the banked gravel corner,
00:51:10nicely done through there. Look at those stones coming off the back of that.
00:51:14Difficult bit, too. Flora.
00:51:17You don't think this is going to be slippery, but it is.
00:51:20Every time that happens. Nicely held, though, Brian.
00:51:23You really do get around. And there he is, onto the main straight and relaxing.
00:51:28Yee!
00:51:31Not completely relaxing. Were you flat through here as well?
00:51:35I took it. Flat out. Yes, that's good. Breaking hard.
00:51:40Not bad at all. And there we are, across the line. That's both of them.
00:51:45APPLAUSE
00:51:55Right, now, I've got your times here.
00:51:58Well, I'll tell you one thing. They're very, very close.
00:52:02So, you were kind of smooth and crickety. Yeah.
00:52:05And you were kind of exuberant. Yeah.
00:52:08And this is, they are ridiculously close, actually.
00:52:11OK, here we go. The suspense. I mean, come on. Yeah.
00:52:14Killing me. OK, Kevin.
00:52:171.17.2.
00:52:191.17.2.
00:52:20So, at the moment, you're the fastest man who's ever been round our trap.
00:52:25This precise moment. Until about 30 seconds.
00:52:36Brian Wilson.
00:52:38Ooh.
00:52:391.17.
00:52:42Point one. Give it to me.
00:52:44Bar leave.
00:52:46Damn it!
00:52:47Seriously, point of the second.
00:52:50Well done, sir.
00:52:52That is nice. That is a nice result. I'm very pleased with that.
00:53:02And there we are.
00:53:03You are still the fastest man who's been round our trap.
00:53:06You have come a long way for nothing.
00:53:11Much appreciated.
00:53:13So, honestly, I mean, it's been an absolute joy having you both here.
00:53:16I came here for the sheep.
00:53:17Yeah, no, take...
00:53:19Take one home.
00:53:20So, there we are, ladies and gentlemen, Brian Wilson,
00:53:22and the fastest person who makes a living by throwing and hitting
00:53:25and catching small balls, Kevin Petersen!
00:53:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:53:30Thank you, sir.
00:53:36Right.
00:53:38Now, this week...
00:53:40This week, we are having a race from Central Park in New York
00:53:45to Niagara Falls.
00:53:46And it's Jeremy in the new Ford GT
00:53:49against James and me
00:53:50and a whole selection of public transport.
00:53:53Yes, and when we left the action, Jeremy was miles ahead in the car,
00:53:57slowly going deaf from the drone of the engine.
00:53:59But now, we were about to haul it in
00:54:02as we boarded the flight to Buffalo.
00:54:07Ow!
00:54:08Sorry.
00:54:09Get out of the way!
00:54:10Get out of the way!
00:54:11I'm in a race!
00:54:12Hello!
00:54:13Hello!
00:54:14Don't get in the way of someone who's just given up a 43-year smoking habit.
00:54:18Meanwhile...
00:54:19Has he got to go in that?
00:54:20Yes, he is.
00:54:21OK, C1 on board.
00:54:23OK, C1 on board.
00:54:24What's more boring?
00:54:25OK.
00:54:26What's more boring?
00:54:27I'm in a race.
00:54:28Can I see?
00:54:29I'm in a race.
00:54:30Wait...
00:54:31It's going to go in that.
00:54:32I'm in a race.
00:54:33I'm in a race.
00:54:34Hello.
00:54:35Hello.
00:54:36Hello!
00:54:37Don't get in the way of someone who's just given up a 43-year smoking habit.
00:54:40Meanwhile...
00:54:41Has he got to go in that?
00:54:42Yes, he is.
00:54:43OK, C1 on board.
00:54:45Hello, welcome aboard. Hello, thank you. Oh, God.
00:55:07Having covered 160 miles, the GT's tiny tank was now nearly empty.
00:55:13This is a splash and dash. Right. Petroleum.
00:55:19Oh, please let it not be one of those stupid American ones where I've got to pay first because I don't know how much I want.
00:55:27Sadly, it was.
00:55:29No. Not a debit card. I haven't got one more.
00:55:39What?
00:55:40Call exits are clearly locked with a sign over here.
00:55:43It's fairly unusual having business class at the back, isn't it?
00:55:46That's what it's like at the front. It should be sort of like there.
00:55:49I think it's quite good if you sit at the back of business class, survey the whole area.
00:55:53This is an Embraer 190. I can tell you a bit about these, actually.
00:55:58Rebecca, for care for the merchant?
00:56:00Oh, dear. You can't just talk.
00:56:02Hello. Can... The pump's...
00:56:05It's not approved. Does it have a chip in it? It's probably because of the chip.
00:56:08How do I pay?
00:56:09I'll turn the pump on, you pump what you need, and then I'll let you run the card in here when you're done.
00:56:14Thank you so much.
00:56:16See, you talk like you, Grant, you can get anywhere.
00:56:18Any minute now, Richard Hammond and James May will be thinking, hmm, a beer, I think.
00:56:30Anyway, here we go. Let's cancel out.
00:56:35Definitely.
00:56:36I think we should celebrate our progress right now as we're moving so well.
00:56:47Hello.
00:56:48Hello.
00:56:49Hi.
00:56:50Can we have beer?
00:56:51Two beers, please.
00:56:52Let me see.
00:56:54So, as it turns out, unfortunately, I won't be able to serve you any beer today.
00:56:59Can I offer you a water, coke, spray?
00:57:01Do you want a beer?
00:57:02No, I'm sorry.
00:57:03Wine?
00:57:04Wine?
00:57:05Too close to wine?
00:57:06I'm not quite too sure why, but unfortunately, I won't be able to.
00:57:10Can I get you some other beverages?
00:57:13However, while they were squashed and thirsty, there was no getting round the fact that they
00:57:18were doing 500 miles an hour, and I wasn't.
00:57:24Come on, fellow Ford driver, get out of the way, please.
00:57:29You've got a Ford!
00:57:34We are going to be wheeling him in now.
00:57:36We're not going to get stuck behind anything.
00:57:37Nope.
00:57:38In traffic.
00:57:39Nope.
00:57:40No one in front is going to have a puncture or shed the load from a pickup truck.
00:57:43No.
00:57:44No?
00:57:45No one in front.
00:57:50Oh, no!
00:57:51Oh, no.
00:57:52No!
00:57:53Move away.
00:57:54home, can all load?
00:57:55I don't pretend they need to be eliminated.
00:57:56Oh, undertaking.
00:57:59This is allowed in the United States and America.
00:58:05And you can see why.
00:58:07People just don't use their mirrors.
00:58:10It was a problem.
00:58:12And then, there was a bigger one.
00:58:16What the hell's this?
00:58:18What a traffic jam.
00:58:20A bloody traffic jam.
00:58:22No.
00:58:24We're about to get our descent into the Buffalo Airport.
00:58:28We'll be on the ground shortly.
00:58:30Look.
00:58:31This is a fat idiot in a very fast forward.
00:58:33Yep.
00:58:34Good.
00:58:37Why is that a traffic jam?
00:58:39And it's a bad one. Look, we're all stopped.
00:58:45Come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:58:48Go, go, go, go, go!
00:58:53Chair, please.
00:58:56Oh, shit.
00:59:03There we go.
00:59:05I mean...
00:59:07Blimey.
00:59:08Yeah, that is...
00:59:09I am safe.
00:59:12Incident.
00:59:13There's been an accident.
00:59:14There's the problem.
00:59:15Jesus.
00:59:19We have some time to make up.
00:59:22Seeing an accident like that normally slows you down.
00:59:25But I couldn't do that.
00:59:27I was upholding the honour of the car.
00:59:30They should be landing in about ten minutes.
00:59:36Oh, no.
00:59:38May?
00:59:39You've landed?
00:59:40Yes!
00:59:41When did this?
00:59:42Too loud for me.
00:59:43Shit.
00:59:44Where are you?
00:59:46I'm 130 miles from Buffalo.
00:59:51He's 130 miles away.
00:59:53Well, you better get a move on then in your 200-and-whatever-it-is-mile-an-hour car.
00:59:59Keep going.
01:00:00Oh, for God's shuttle.
01:00:02Bye!
01:00:04Right, where do we get the bus?
01:00:07We now only had a couple of dozen miles to go.
01:00:10We'd catch a bus into Buffalo,
01:00:12and then another to the finish line at the Niagara Falls.
01:00:18I'm trying to think where this went wrong.
01:00:19George Washington Bridge, that didn't help.
01:00:22The accident and the traffic jam that resulted, that didn't help.
01:00:26But I think the main problem is that JetBlue
01:00:29managed to do an hour and 15-minute flight in an hour.
01:00:36Oh, that's it.
01:00:38Oh, I see it folds out like that.
01:00:39That's very clever.
01:00:41Here we go.
01:00:43Aligned.
01:00:45Hello, thank you very much.
01:00:50Come on.
01:00:51Yay!
01:00:53The Trump enthusiast has pulled over.
01:00:58Right.
01:00:59Let's find out where he is.
01:01:04It's Mr Bell End.
01:01:06Hammond!
01:01:07Where are you?
01:01:08Leaving the airport on a bus.
01:01:10Right.
01:01:11Well, I'm 90 miles behind you.
01:01:14You're going to have to make that up in no time.
01:01:17How far are you from Niagara Falls now?
01:01:2023 miles.
01:01:24I'd say you could be doomed.
01:01:26Good luck.
01:01:27We're getting closer.
01:01:28Bye.
01:01:30He's never going to do it.
01:01:31Oh, I just don't want this car to lose.
01:01:36I properly love it.
01:01:37It's just so exciting.
01:01:39All the things that make it bad and annoying make it brilliant and exciting.
01:01:44The noise and the ride and the roughness.
01:01:47It's just raucous, raw, bareback, unplugged energy.
01:01:56I want it to win.
01:01:57I want it to beat the plane.
01:01:59But to do that, it would have to do 113 miles in the time it takes a bus to do 23.
01:02:09Luckily, however, buses have other people on them.
01:02:12I don't like this bit.
01:02:14What can you do there?
01:02:15You just have to sit here and see what happens.
01:02:17Yeah.
01:02:18Bus travel is tricky to like, isn't it?
01:02:20And we've got to stop and change buses.
01:02:22And if we lose 10, 15 minutes waiting for the next bus...
01:02:25I know, it's not in the back.
01:02:2876 miles.
01:02:35Who pulled the...
01:02:37Well, it is a bus.
01:02:41Can't be moved to the custody...
01:02:42Nobody else pulled the string until we've got off, please.
01:02:44Let's just go all the way.
01:02:45Hello?
01:02:46Where are you?
01:02:47I think about 55 miles away from the finish line.
01:02:4855?
01:02:49Yeah.
01:02:50Right.
01:02:51This is going to be close.
01:02:52Well, have you not got to Buffalo yet?
01:02:53No, we're in Buffalo, but we haven't got to the bus change point.
01:02:54Oh, really?
01:02:55Oh, I...
01:02:56Oh!
01:02:57Does your bus keep stopping?
01:02:58Well, of course it does.
01:02:59It's a bloody bus.
01:03:00It's a bloody bus.
01:03:01Yeah.
01:03:02It's a bloody bus.
01:03:03It's a bloody bus.
01:03:04It's a bloody bus.
01:03:05It's a bloody bus.
01:03:06It's a bloody bus.
01:03:07It's a bloody bus.
01:03:08It's a bloody bus.
01:03:09It's a bloody bus.
01:03:10It's a bloody bus.
01:03:11It's a bloody bus.
01:03:12It's a bloody bus.
01:03:13Well, of course it does.
01:03:14It's a bloody bus.
01:03:15It's a bloody bus.
01:03:16I've been on one since I was eight.
01:03:17That kept stopping.
01:03:18I thought, well, I won't go on another one of these.
01:03:20They're stupid.
01:03:21They're still the same.
01:03:22Bye-bye.
01:03:26Amazingly, I was still in the running.
01:03:29But my furious pace meant I now had to make a decision.
01:03:33Do I drive like Al Gore would want me to drive at 55 miles an hour?
01:03:37And possibly make the finish line without having to fill up again?
01:03:40Or do I floor it really quickly and then have a quick splash and dash?
01:03:45Do I risk running it?
01:03:47Oh, no, I can't.
01:03:51Meanwhile, not that far ahead, we had reached the bus station.
01:03:56And James, incredibly, was doing running.
01:04:00Where the hell is it?
01:04:01It's not here.
01:04:02Niagara Falls, Niagara Falls.
01:04:0348, look.
01:04:04Where?
01:04:05It's that one there.
01:04:06In we go.
01:04:07Right.
01:04:08We need a swift departure.
01:04:09Hello.
01:04:10Oh!
01:04:11He's missed the ramp.
01:04:12This is so irritating.
01:04:14I've got 35 miles to go, that's all.
01:04:17But I'm not going to make it on the field.
01:04:19I just know I'm not.
01:04:20I'm going to have to fill up.
01:04:22Oh!
01:04:25So, 15 miles from here.
01:04:27Yeah.
01:04:28It's 35 miles.
01:04:31Three and four gallons will do it.
01:04:36That will do.
01:04:40Now we're approaching.
01:04:41Mohawk Street.
01:04:42No need to stop.
01:04:43No, no need to stop.
01:04:44We're all fine.
01:04:47Road works.
01:04:49Ten miles, Richard Hammonds.
01:04:53Ten miles to go.
01:04:54Yes, joy of joys.
01:04:57Two actual lanes open.
01:05:08Get a bloody move on.
01:05:1212 million people a year visit Niagara Falls.
01:05:15Do they?
01:05:16I just want them all to get in Jeremy's way, but not ours.
01:05:19Yes, Niagara Falls.
01:05:26No, no, no.
01:05:28No at all.
01:05:30Agh!
01:05:31Luckily, though, I had an electronic pass,
01:05:34which made paying much faster.
01:05:36Look at it Hammond.
01:05:37It's right there.
01:05:38See it?
01:05:39Yeah.
01:05:40See the spray?
01:05:41Yeah.
01:05:46It's not working.
01:05:47It's not working.
01:05:48Yes.
01:05:49The I waste it.
01:05:51Right.
01:05:53Okay.
01:05:54No.
01:05:55No, no.
01:05:56It's not working.
01:05:57It's not working.
01:05:58No!
01:05:59No.
01:06:00No!
01:06:01No!
01:06:02No!
01:06:03No!
01:06:04No!
01:06:05No!
01:06:10No!
01:06:11No!
01:06:12No!
01:06:13No!
01:06:144 miles
01:06:20Are you going to have a heart attack on television?
01:06:26Yeah
01:06:26Don't want to lose this
01:06:29Say there, falls
01:06:44Right, this is it
01:06:51Where the hell are they?
01:06:56There's the observation tower
01:06:58There is the observation tower
01:07:00That's where I'm headed
01:07:02Dicky wheel
01:07:05I have been turned into Richard Hammond by six hours in that car
01:07:14This is it
01:07:16There's the bridge thing
01:07:18Oh God
01:07:19Jesus
01:07:20In we go
01:07:21Hurry
01:07:22Oh God, so it all comes down to easy the other side of this barrier
01:07:33How can you get that door Hammond?
01:07:36Yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it
01:07:38Oh
01:07:40Hang on
01:07:41Oh
01:07:42Look
01:07:43Let me sit down, sorry
01:07:45Put the brake on
01:07:47How long have you been here?
01:07:50Long enough to do some nice pictures and some Instagram work
01:07:53Oh good
01:07:54Why are you so tired?
01:07:56I've been pushing him uphill
01:07:58He doesn't like it
01:07:59He's actually sweating
01:08:00He's been running
01:08:02Oh
01:08:03He really is
01:08:04I've run on the internet
01:08:05I thought he might have a heart attack
01:08:06James May is going to die live on TV
01:08:10I'm going to do it here, just talk amongst yourselves
01:08:13Oh
01:08:14Oh
01:08:15Oh
01:08:16Oh
01:08:17Oh
01:08:18Oh
01:08:19Oh
01:08:20Oh
01:08:21Oh
01:08:22Oh
01:08:23Oh
01:08:24Oh
01:08:25Oh
01:08:26Oh
01:08:27Oh
01:08:28Oh
01:08:29Oh
01:08:30Oh
01:08:31Oh
01:08:32Oh
01:08:34Oh
01:08:37Oh
01:08:38Oh
01:08:39Oh
01:08:40Oh
01:08:42Oh
01:08:43Oh
01:08:44around all day and it was like having a massive wheeled suitcase with an opinion that pointed
01:08:49at things like rommel all the time he was the only one who had a comfortable day actually you
01:08:54were you were because the honest truth is that ford gt went through a city and on a motorway
01:09:00and neither of those environments is where it's really at home yes like i said in new york it's
01:09:05a racing car yes which is why i'm going to get one brought over to the uk and later in the series
01:09:11i'm going to thrash it round the ebola drone you're going to do that as opposed to well uh me
01:09:18people want to know what it's like on a track not what it's like on its roof
01:09:24and on that terrible disappointment for you it's time to end thank you so much for watching good night
01:09:41so
01:09:54so