- 4 months ago
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00:00Oh
00:30Tēnā koutou katoa, welcome to Taskmaster
00:37the show where five comedians are given a living wage
00:41and in exchange at least three times a year
00:44for the rest of their lives they will wake up in a cold sweat
00:47remembering how they couldn't find a camera that was made of cake
00:51My name is Jeremy Wells and I am the Taskmaster
00:55Joining me tonight are our Season 6 contestants
01:01Alice Sneddon
01:02Brie Tomasel
01:05Jack Anset
01:07Jackie Van Beek
01:10and Pat Sassati
01:12And as always, sitting next to me
01:17a man who doesn't like sparkling water because he thinks it's too spicy
01:21it's Paul Williams
01:23For tonight's prize task
01:30hmm, that's odd
01:32It says here that the prize category is the best present for Paul
01:38Jack, what have you brought in, the best present for Paul?
01:44Well Jeremy, Paul is always having to assist you
01:48Yes
01:49So the best present for Paul that I've brought in is his own assistant
01:54He's called Craig
01:56Um, yeah, and he's actually here, we're gonna bring him out
02:01Big round of applause for, yeah
02:03Oh wow!
02:04Oh my god, amazing!
02:05Amazing!
02:06He's got a whip!
02:07Oh yeah!
02:08Yeah, yeah, yeah, here's a whip in case, you know, he gets out of the line
02:13Give it to Paul
02:15Give it to Paul
02:16Thank you
02:17Try it
02:18What should I say?
02:19You piece of shit
02:20You piece of s-word
02:23Okay, you'll get better
02:26Sorry, sorry I didn't mean that
02:28It's okay
02:29Okay
02:30Fantastic outfit by the way
02:33Same to you
02:34Thank you
02:35Jackie, what did you bring in for Paul?
02:38Craig's just gonna sit there?
02:39Yeah
02:40I like it
02:41I love it
02:42I would prefer Craig to be present for this
02:44Yeah
02:45Now, everybody knows I have such a strong love for Paul
02:49But I find him incredibly low energy, like to a dangerous level
02:54So in order to keep you alive, I am gifting you this
03:00Oh
03:02A defibrillator
03:03This is for you, Paul
03:04Or the person next to you that needs to use it on you
03:06Craig
03:07Craig
03:08Craig, this is for you
03:09Craig, are you medically trained?
03:11I can be
03:12Yeah
03:13Craig, he's killing it
03:17Pax, best present for Paul
03:19When we were shooting the tasks, I discovered that Paul is a loose fan of Formula One
03:24So I've bought this for Paul
03:26Oh
03:27I've just genuinely bought a cool gift for Paul
03:29That screams of a gift that you want yourself
03:32And then you've bought for someone else hoping that they might invite you around to their house to play with it later on
03:37Yeah, I would love to play Vroom Vroom F1 cars with Paul
03:41Alice, what did you bring in?
03:43Oh, so Paul and I are friends
03:46Fair enough
03:47And Paul's recently moved from London where I live back to New Zealand
03:53And he left his blender
03:56And I was going to bring that back for him and I forgot
03:59So instead, I've got him a different blender
04:02Oh
04:04That looks used
04:06I believe in sustainability
04:08Bri
04:11Jeremy
04:12Jeremy, what do you get a man that has everything?
04:15Lucky we don't have to answer that question because it's Paul and he has nothing
04:19Paul, I know you've always really wanted a dog and I have dogs and I'm not giving them to you
04:28But I have made you a custom calendar of my dogs
04:31Oh, wow
04:34That's Whitney Houston on the left
04:36And Meryl Streep on the right
04:38And can we look at January please?
04:41February
04:45March
04:48That's an action shot Jeremy
04:50April
04:51They're themed
04:52May
04:54That's a lovely one
04:55June
04:56July
04:57September
04:59October
05:00November
05:01And of course another themed one for December
05:04Which is beautiful
05:06Now you may think I've missed a month
05:09But Paul
05:10I know that your birthday is August the 7th
05:13And I've went all out for this
05:15Here's August
05:22Yes, no, you can clap
05:23Wow
05:24Amazing
05:25That's really good
05:26Yeah
05:27Thank you Bri
05:28Thanks all of you
05:29I love my gifts
05:30You're welcome
05:31No worries
05:32Jackie one point
05:34Wow
05:35You don't need a defibrillator
05:36You'll be fine
05:37Two points
05:38For Alice
05:39Three points
05:40For Pax
05:41Four points
05:42For Bri
05:43I'll take it
05:44And five points
05:45For Jack Ansett
05:48Oh, well done
05:50Get out of here
05:51Get out of here
05:52You
05:53Oh, that's for you I guess
05:58Let's get on with the show then shall we
06:00I think I'm in the mood for a real task Paul
06:02Sure thing Jeremy
06:03This one is a numbers game
06:05This one is a numbers game
06:14Hi Paul
06:15Hello Jackie
06:16Oh God
06:17Great
06:20Hello Alice
06:21Hey Paul
06:22Wow, what do we have here?
06:23What do we have here?
06:28Create new numbers
06:29Best new numbers wins
06:31Your new numbers
06:33Oh
06:34Must replace the numbers
06:36Zero through to nine
06:38And must have both a symbol
06:40And a written name
06:41You have 12 minutes
06:42Your time starts now
06:44There's nothing more threatening to a group of comedians than Matt's in my experience
06:55Who are we going to watch first?
06:57We'll be seeing our top five contestants this series
07:00It's all of them
07:02Quite a detailed number
07:03Yeah, but have you seen hieroglyphics?
07:05Oh you're trying to make it breasts
07:06Have you not seen many?
07:07To me that looks like maybe an owl
07:10How do you pronounce that?
07:11Yeah
07:12And what are things you have one of?
07:14You're asking me?
07:15Yeah
07:16Friend?
07:17Friend, do you?
07:18Yeah
07:19Oh, I'm so sorry
07:20It's not me is it?
07:21No
07:22That would be embarrassing
07:23Oh yeah
07:24You've got nine minutes and jiggy seconds left
07:26I'm going to do word association, okay? Do it with me
07:31Okay
07:32Four
07:33Hump
07:34Okay
07:39Are you going to make me remember these for another task?
07:42No
07:43But when the eye
07:44It's quite scary to look you in the eye
07:46Promise?
07:47How do I make promises?
07:51Word association
07:52Three
07:53Pull
07:55Pull
07:56Shake
07:57Do that look more like breasts?
08:00I think that's an owl looking down
08:03Five
08:04Okay
08:05Corpse
08:06So when I was five years old I pissed my pants at school
08:12And the image is some pants soaked in piss
08:16Six
08:18The devil's number
08:19Hosking
08:21Not Hosking
08:23Not Hosking
08:24You're going to make me do a maths equation with this or something aren't you?
08:27No
08:28I despise maths
08:33Okay
08:34You happy with that?
08:35I'm stoked
08:36Yeah
08:37I'm happy
08:38Should I say a number and then you say it?
08:39Yeah
08:4048
08:42Far out
08:44I mean it makes life really difficult
08:46How do you say 7-Eleven?
08:486-Men
08:50Oh yeah oh yeah
08:56I better never see these again in my life
09:03I want to know more about this urinating your pants story Alice
09:07We were all seated on the side of the concrete basketball court
09:11And I was busting to go and the teacher wouldn't let me go
09:14And I just pissed
09:15And the piss went all the way down underneath everyone in the classroom's legs
09:21And then someone said oh someone pissed
09:24And I said wasn't me
09:28I need a moment to wrap my head around these breakthroughs in maths
09:31So let's have an ad break and I'll see you shortly
09:34Thank you
09:49Nau mai hokumai welcome back to Tasmaster
09:51Before the break our contestants developed entirely new counting systems
09:55And it all seemed pretty straight forward
09:58We probably need to have a look at them if that's ok Paul
10:00Sure thing Jeremy
10:01Here is Paxes
10:04Ok I'll describe that as 8 anthropomorphised amoebas
10:07In the dark abyss of the heart
10:09There on the right
10:11It's got an inside of a school desk in the 1990s kind of vibe
10:14Yeah I did think about doing a big detailed cock
10:17But that would have really topped off the school desk energy
10:21Here's Jackie's
10:23Oh fun
10:24It's got a hieroglyphic sort of a feel to it
10:27I like 8 tasteful side boob
10:30Yes
10:31Thank you
10:32What about Jack's
10:33Yes
10:34Ok
10:36So I worked out that the number 6729 would be Hosking Pride Balls Yum Yum
10:44Absolutely yes
10:45Bree's
10:49Filthy Bree actually I've got to say
10:51Change looks like someone from Invercargill pulling the finger
10:57And lastly it's Alice's
11:00Hmm
11:02What is the symbol for hey?
11:04It's a sandal because hey reminded me of Jesus which is the Spanish word for Jesus
11:12And Jesus wore sandals
11:14Of course
11:15Of course
11:16Four
11:17So I've got to score these somehow
11:19I would say that Jack and Pax
11:22Essentially you guys both get two points
11:24Just looks from my perspective like an insane load of crap
11:28Alice some merit
11:30I'll give you three points
11:31Thank you
11:32Jackie cohesive in its childish simplicity I thought
11:35Thank you
11:36Four points for you
11:37And I like the sexual undertones of Bree's to be honest
11:41How are we going to go with the scores now Paul?
11:44Alice is on Piss
11:48Bree is on Taint
11:49Jack is on Pride
11:50Jackie is on Corpse
11:51And Pax is on Aha
11:55Very good Paul
11:57Want to do another task?
11:58Let's do another task
11:59Ok
12:00What's important to know about this task
12:01Is that it was filmed a couple weeks after that last task
12:04Hello Alice
12:05Paul
12:06Woohoo
12:07Hi Paul
12:08Mandarin
12:09Thank you
12:10Why are you standing so close to me?
12:11You don't like it?
12:12It's alright
12:13It's alright
12:14Score 43 points playing the duck toss
12:26Ooh that sounds fun
12:27Closest to 43 wins
12:28You must throw from the spot and you cannot move the spot or the duck receptacle
12:34Or the duck receptacle
12:35You have until you think you've scored 43 points
12:40Your time starts now
12:42Oh I see
12:43So I have to throw them in these things?
12:45Mhm
12:47What is this shit?
12:51How do I know which each one's worth?
12:54Well it's written on it
12:55You don't recognise those symbols?
12:57Oh no
13:00Are they all mine?
13:01Oh God Paul
13:04So you remember all your numbers?
13:05I remember doing that exercise
13:08Ohhhhhhh
13:15Do you want me to hold for that?
13:16Excuse me
13:17Excuse me
13:21Huh?
13:22Sorry
13:23Huh?
13:24Could you mind not doing that for a little bit?
13:25I don't get one thing to myself
13:27We're just
13:28It's a mess here
13:29I'm living
13:30It's a mess
13:31We're just doing a task right now
13:32Excuse me
13:33I'll just do this bit
13:34Just let her do that bit
13:37What?
13:38I will never forgive you
13:40To be honest there's a lot more than I thought so I might
13:42Yeah
13:43Okay
13:44Okay
13:45Thank you
13:48Alice I can't believe you berated a member of the Taskmaster staff
13:51Rosemary Fair has fallen on hard times and she needed that work
13:55I know for a fact she's not fallen on hard times
13:59Now I feel like it's time for our contestants to be hoist on their own petards
14:05What did you just call me?
14:08You guys didn't think that that was going to come back did you?
14:10I would just like to say that I thought it would come back and I said it loads of times to Paul
14:13You are definitely not hoisted on a petard
14:16No you are not
14:18Who are we seeing first?
14:20You can count on these guys when it comes to counting
14:22It's Jack and Bree
14:24Hiya!
14:27And I think that's how it's going to go for the rest of the time
14:29Hey! We got one!
14:31Do you know when I dropped maths in year 11
14:33I said to Mrs Beard
14:35See you later lady
14:36You're not going to need this ever again in my life
14:38And she went never disrespect maths
14:40You never know when you're going to need it
14:41And that's that moment
14:42Do you want to apologise to Mrs Beard?
14:44I'm so sorry Mrs Beard
14:45Maybe we can meet up for coffee or something like that
14:47If she's still alive
14:48Anyway
14:51Oh shit!
14:52So now I'm minus 9
14:55Boobies!
14:57I reckon that's 2
14:59No!
15:00We're on minus 16 right now
15:02Let's go
15:04Plus heart
15:05I knew I should have written this down
15:07Come on Hosking
15:09Booyah!
15:10Ok
15:11Now we're on minus 3
15:13Where do you think you're currently at?
15:1428
15:15And we're going for the dog
15:17In the middle
15:19At least I'm good at one thing
15:20The throwing
15:2113 again
15:22Let's go 13 again
15:23Oh no that's 16
15:24Oh
15:26So what am I on?
15:27Let's go for another 6
15:2840
15:29I kind of feel like Boobies would be a 3
15:31But we're going for the titties!
15:34Oh
15:35Back to 34
15:36I think we're on 29 Paul
15:37Ok let's just go for another 16
15:38And then we can work our way back
15:39Ok
15:41Paul get out of the way
15:45Go in!
15:46Shit!
15:47What do you think you're on now?
15:48I have not one clue
15:5245
15:53We need minus 2
15:55Ok happy with that
15:56Lock it in
15:57Bring it home
15:58Bring it home
16:03Anything to say to Mrs Baird?
16:05Didn't need you after all
16:10Did I get the right amount?
16:1143 was the correct amount
16:12Right ok
16:13You seem to remember your number system quite well
16:15Yeah
16:16Yeah I just zoned in on the ones that I knew
16:19And tried my best to ignore the others
16:21That was quite smart
16:22You knew Hosking was the devil's number
16:23I did remember that
16:24Yes
16:25So Jack obviously 46
16:27So pretty close
16:28Pretty close
16:29And Bree 19
16:30You were a little breast heavy
16:32I was
16:33I was just so zoned in on the
16:34On the Tatas
16:35And I just wanted to get those chuzzies
16:37And just
16:39And why wouldn't you?
16:40You know what I'm talking about
16:41I know exactly what you mean
16:42Ok who's next Paul?
16:43Getting their ducks in a row
16:45It's Ducks Asadi and Quacky Van Beek
16:48I'm going to start with
16:50Yes
16:52Exactly what I wanted
16:53Humps neck
17:02I think that's four
17:03It's divided by pill
17:04How many zeros can fit into pill?
17:06Zero pills
17:07What I'm going to do
17:08Is I'm going to whack right down into the negatives
17:11And then bounce up to 43
17:14How far into the negatives are you going to go?
17:16Just not too much further
17:17Ok
17:20That's not good
17:23Yep
17:26Oh
17:27So that's plus
17:29Whatever that one is
17:30This is
17:31What are we doing here Paul?
17:32And I think we're going to need one more biggie
17:35Oh we definitely need a hump
17:37Hump
17:38How many times that?
17:39What am I at now?
17:41So what kind of number would you be happy with?
17:48I don't know
17:5443
17:58Oh yep yep yep yep
17:59Ok and
18:01Done
18:0243
18:03Oh man my brain
18:05That's crazy
18:06That's crazy
18:07But I got there
18:0843
18:09Are you sure it's 43?
18:10Um yeah
18:11Uhhhhhh
18:12Oh my god
18:15Oh god
18:16Jackie in some ways your new number system actually made it quite pleasant because you did not have a clue how badly you were doing
18:22No
18:23I just focused on positivity
18:25And when I felt like I got it I was like I'm out
18:28I did it
18:30And I truly felt like I believed that
18:32Do you still believe it?
18:33I don't now that I've seen the numbers
18:37Pax I would say apologize to Paul for lashing out at him but that throw was so piss weak
18:43Yeah I didn't want to hurt Paul but I wanted to show him that I was annoyed
18:47What were the numbers in the end Paul?
18:48So Pax
18:492,803
18:50Mmhmm
18:51And Jackie
18:52Negative
18:5359,929
18:55There you go
18:57Ok that is way too much counting
18:59So let's let our brains just cool down for a while while these ads try to grab your attention
19:04We'll see you in a moment when Taskmaster returns
19:12Welcome back to Taskmaster
19:21Before the break our contestants were counting with their bespoke number systems
19:25And Paul, I believe there's one more number cruncher to see
19:29Last but not Elise, it's Alice
19:33I'll be back
19:37What's on the paper?
19:39Key to your numbers
19:40Yeah
19:42Come here
19:43Me?
19:44I'm supposed to be
19:45Working
19:46What are you up to?
19:47You're here visiting your nan
19:49Do you have no shame?
19:51Giving up family time to steal my lifeline
19:57Get out!
20:03Maybe I'll just start with one and see where I end up
20:06Ok
20:09Ok so minus 10
20:12So that's minus 19
20:14Ok let's go for plus piss
20:17Go on minus again
20:19So I'm at minus 40
20:25Minus 51
20:30Oh no
20:31You love these minuses
20:32Minuses
20:33I have to plus my way out of it
20:35Minus 51
20:37Minus 40
20:38Minus 29
20:39Minus 29
20:40Minus 29
20:42Minus 29 divided by 14
20:44So it's basically negative 2
20:47No!
20:48Really loving the moment
20:49Really loving the moment
20:50There shut up
20:51Negative 5
20:55Negative 5 divided by 14
20:57Roughly 0.3
20:59No Alice
21:00So I'm at negative 3.3
21:02I'm just gonna go for a piss to
21:04Feel free to go for a piss at any time
21:06There we go
21:08Come on!
21:09That's it
21:10That's it
21:11What are you going for?
21:12Five
21:13She's looking for piss
21:15Free to go
21:16Plus hey
21:17She's in
21:20Thank you Alice
21:21Feel free to piss any time
21:27Well done on being the only contestant to write down their numbers
21:30Thank you
21:31I don't trust Paul
21:32I gotta say Mrs. Baird would be very impressed
21:37I see you went for the Van Beek technique early
21:39Which is to go into the negatives
21:41Yeah, I mean I wouldn't call that a technique so much as a catastrophic event
21:46Shall we have a look at the scores Paul?
21:48Alice extremely impressive
21:50The target was 43
21:51She got to 42.6
21:56Where does that leave the scores?
21:57One point for Jackie
21:58Two points for Pax
21:59Three points for Brie
22:00Four points for Jack
22:01Four points for Jack
22:02And five points for Alice Sneddon
22:04Woo!
22:07I am craving another task Paul
22:10I know how tangry you get
22:13It's hangry but for tasks
22:16So let's get the party started
22:25Oh Paul
22:28Hi Paul
22:29Yes please
22:30Yes please
22:32That's wrong
22:33That's wrong
22:35Oh!
22:44Perform a party trick
22:46Most impressive party trick wins
22:48Your party trick cannot last more than 30 seconds
22:54You have until the studio record of episode 8
22:59Your time starts now
23:00Can you do any party tricks currently?
23:03I can dislocate my left shoulder
23:05You want to see that?
23:06No, not at all
23:08Can you hit my hand?
23:11Ah!
23:12You son of a bitch
23:13Paul
23:20Pretty cool eh?
23:21Really good
23:23Oh this is going to be fun
23:24So how long have these guys had to prepare their party tricks?
23:26At least five weeks
23:27At least five weeks
23:28Alright, I think we're going to start with Brie
23:31Oh no!
23:32Go Brie, so go up on the stage
23:33Perform your trick
23:34Whoa!
23:35Then you beat em talk
23:40Oh no!
23:42Oh!
23:43Yeah!
23:49Wow!
23:53Whoa!
23:55Yeah!
23:57Wow!
23:59I'd hate to follow that act, to be honest.
24:17Alice?
24:18Oh, come on.
24:19Oh.
24:20You're up next.
24:21All right.
24:22Go, Alice.
24:23Oh.
24:24Oh.
24:25This is a game of three card Monty.
24:27These are also cherries.
24:29I will be tying a knot on this while we do it.
24:33Anything in there?
24:35She's wearing a wire.
24:39OK, so this is going in.
24:41So all you need to do is follow the queen.
24:47See that?
24:47Mm-hmm.
24:48You don't see that?
24:49There we go.
24:50OK.
24:50Don't lose concentration.
24:52All right?
24:53Where's the queen?
24:57Whoa!
24:57Whoa!
24:58Whoa!
24:59And?
25:00There you go.
25:02Isn't that incredible?
25:04It's knotted.
25:05Let's go!
25:06OK.
25:07PAX is up next.
25:08Whoa!
25:09Whoa!
25:10Whoa!
25:11Whoa!
25:12Whoa!
25:13Whoa!
25:14Whoa!
25:16Whoa!
25:17Whoa!
25:18Whoa!
25:19Whoa!
25:20Whoa!
25:21Whoa!
25:22Whoa!
25:23So you went on each finger?
25:24I went on each finger.
25:25Shall I try one more time?
25:26I think you just need to explain that you're doing each finger.
25:28Well, I wouldn't have need to explain it if I nailed it.
25:31Yes!
25:32Oh!
25:33Oh!
25:34Oh!
25:35Oh!
25:36Oh!
25:37Oh!
25:38Oh!
25:39Oh!
25:40Jackie, would you like to go up and perform your party drink?
25:43Happy to.
25:44No!
25:45All right, thank you.
25:46Oh!
25:47Oh!
25:48Wow!
25:49Joking!
25:51Wow!
25:53Wow!
25:54You're joking!
25:56QUENTINA GEMETING
26:09아
26:14The reverse striptease yeah so as a party trick
26:43you turn up undressed? I tend to yeah. Jack Ansett. Yes Jeremy. Your party trick. So for my
26:51party trick Jeremy I made a Facebook event for my 27th birthday party it was
26:59a dress-up party and I invited about a hundred so people to on Facebook and the
27:06trick part was all of those people knew that the party wasn't real except for
27:13Paul. I guess we play the clip
27:43What do you reckon? So what was your party trick?
27:50There's no one here. You happy with that?
27:54Yeah. Thanks Paul. Very happy. Thank you Jack. See ya. Wow that went cool into the plan I think.
28:15Paul looked genuinely angry about that. Yeah. How long were you wearing the costume for?
28:22So tell them Paul. I was going into the Taskmaster office that day and decided to save time
28:29I would wear the costume all day. I saw you that day. And I felt bad that you hadn't been invited to Jack's birthday.
28:38Okay so one point for Pax. Oh ****. Two points for Alice and her magic trick. I think three points for Brie. Four points for Jackie Van Beek and the reverse burlesque.
28:53Thank you. And I'll save five points for Jack Anset's party trick trick party. Thank you Jeremy. Well earned. Well earned. Well earned.
29:02The party don't stop until we need to fulfill our contractual obligations to advertisers. Which is right now. We'll see you soon.
29:09Welcome back to Taskmaster. If you're just tuning in you've just missed out on watching Jackie Van Beek get dressed. I'd like another task please Paul.
29:32Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones but those in paper towers shouldn't be on a trampoline.
29:39Hello. Oh hello Paul. Hello Jackie. G'day Paul. Hello Brie. Hello Alice. Hey Paul. Hello Jack. Oh the old trampoline. Hello Pax. I had a trampoline like this when I was a kid actually. Really? You've got to have the net these days. Or what?
30:08Like because once I was on here when I was a kid and then I fell and landed in the middle of one of these springs. It's actually quite triggering for me but. Anyway.
30:18Alrighty. Build the toilet. Build the toilet. Build the toilet paper tower. Toilet paper tower. There's the toilet paper. Toilet paper tower. In the middle of this trampoline.
30:32Tallest toilet paper tower. That's a tongue twister Paul. Mm-hmm. You have ten minutes. Your time starts now. Do I have to? Yeah.
30:48I was fascinated Jack that you had a spring trampoline because I just kind of thought your general belligerence was the result of that generation of yours being cotton wool parented.
31:00No my mum didn't give a f***. She was too busy you know inside with her chardonnay. Just sorry she's here. She's here tonight.
31:10I was just about to say your mother is here. I think she did the best with what she was given. Yeah. Fair point. Who's up first book?
31:18They have the same birthday and nearly the same name. It's Jackie and Jack A.
31:24Is this um all the toilet paper that you have available to me? You think you need more than that? Yeah.
31:30Okay. I'll be back. Can you give me a hand please? Because I'm gonna lift all of this onto the...
31:37I'm not gonna help you with that sorry. Are there any other toilets in here?
31:42Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. Aha. I need like a big circular kind of ring. Okay. Yeah. Okay. In hindsight that wasn't worth it.
31:57But I'm gonna get started. If someone could do a shop because there's no toilet paper left in the house.
32:02Oh this is good. This is better than mine. How much time do I have? Seven minutes and 34 seconds. Oh my god. Okay.
32:07You want to have that central. Yeah. Kind of equidistant from kind of these ends and these ends. Gotcha.
32:13This is just a tip for you if you ever want to do this. Oh shit. I need something to make sure it doesn't fall over.
32:19Do you have a problem with this? No. Sweet. When you said you're not gonna help which I find cruel and unfair.
32:25Would you be able to pass me the toilet rolls? Okay. So you think that's a toilet paper towel? Yes Paul. Okay.
32:31And just pass them nicely. And quickly please. Not too quickly. Hold on. Sorry.
32:37Alright get it off. Okay. Yes! See now. You see. You know they didn't build Rome in a day Paul. And you're giving me seven minutes.
32:46You actually had ten minutes but you spent the first two minutes getting one and a half rolls of toilet paper from your toilet.
32:52What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna actually take height off. So you're not gonna add to the height. You're just going sort of girth.
32:58Could you just come over here so I can touch your shoulder please? Yes. Ready? Oh I can just do.
33:04And it's all about being quite kind of polite to the tower. Like going.
33:08Do you feel okay? Do I go one more? I need to stand on some.
33:1412 seconds.
33:23Jack you didn't think it was an overestimation of your abilities when you looked at that giant tower and you thought you know what? I need three more rolls.
33:30Yeah. I think it's an oversight on the production staff that they only allowed one and a half toilet rolls for what? 30 crew?
33:37How are the heights Paul? Jackie 1m29. Jack 1m43.
33:46Oh nice. Okay.
33:48Up next you've heard of a six pack. Well here's a one packs.
33:52I feel like sunning my arsehole right now.
33:55What does that mean? Like I point my butthole to the sun?
33:58How are you spelling sun?
34:04Just because we are filming this.
34:08S-U-N man.
34:09Okay. S-U-N.
34:12I'm not going to point my arsehole and I'm a small boy.
34:14Okay well I just want to clarify that.
34:16Have you started the time?
34:17Yeah you have 8 minutes 55.
34:19Oh shit man.
34:24How much time do I have?
34:25Seven and a half minutes.
34:26Yeah it's heaps of time.
34:28You've got six and a half minutes.
34:29Shut up.
34:31How much time do I have left?
34:32Five minutes.
34:34Oh my god bro.
34:38How much time do I have?
34:39One minute and 58 seconds.
34:41No, no.
34:42This actually works dude.
34:57Paul try it with me.
34:58Does it still work if there's no boy?
35:00There's an entire camera crew over there and I guarantee you all the men are sons.
35:09Either way it'll work.
35:10Trust me.
35:12I'm on the clock.
35:14You're 20 seconds.
35:15You don't want to just stack one on top of the other.
35:17Alright.
35:18For you.
35:19So the message Pax that you're sending your children and future generations is that when
35:31the going gets tough sun your asshole.
35:33Yeah.
35:34It's quite hairy down there so it is difficult for it to get in.
35:37It is quite rain foresty down there.
35:39Yes.
35:40How tall was Pax's tower?
35:4323 centimetres.
35:46More toilet paper towers please Paul.
35:48It's the ladies and the tramp.
35:50It's Brie and Alice.
35:53Shall we do a quick game of crack the egg?
35:55You've only got 9 minutes 15.
35:57Yeah that would be kind of fun.
35:58Do you want to just give me a hand with this?
36:00No sorry.
36:01Double bounce.
36:03Just come grab the other end of this.
36:05I'm not going to grab the other end of that.
36:06Come on Paul.
36:07Paul please.
36:08No that's the sort of whole part of the task.
36:11Oh sake Paul.
36:12This is such a waste.
36:13We'll use it.
36:14You don't reuse this.
36:16What do you mean reuse?
36:19You cracked me.
36:20If that was the challenge I feel like I'd win.
36:23What are you going for here?
36:25I'm going through the middle of the tramp.
36:26Wow.
36:27Where'd you get all this toilet paper from?
36:29Did you stockpile it during Covid?
36:31Yeah.
36:32How tall have other people gotten?
36:33I reckon Pax is about 6 foot.
36:35Are you a folder or a cruncher?
36:38I'd rather not say.
36:39There's no way you reuse this toilet paper.
36:41How come?
36:42Because it's clean.
36:44You're 100% a folder.
36:46We don't use it and then reuse it for the task.
36:48I bet you get clean wipes.
36:50We reuse it and then it flushes.
36:53So you're going to wipe your bum with this?
36:56Big time.
36:59Do I have to be off the trampoline Paul?
37:01All the information you need is in the task.
37:03I knew you were going to say that.
37:08What's up?
37:09Can I rip a hole in the tramp?
37:11I'm happy to not rip a hole in the trap.
37:12As long as you can guarantee me that this counts as one full tower.
37:26Oh no.
37:27Oh no.
37:28Disaster has struck.
37:29I need your word that this counts as one tower.
37:32Otherwise I'm ripping a hole.
37:33What's the time?
37:34You've got 52 seconds.
37:35Okay.
37:36So you have 5 seconds.
37:37I shouldn't have stood up.
37:38That's a great idea.
37:39Oh my god.
37:41Three.
37:42I don't think you can even rip a hole that fast.
37:44I told myself I wasn't going to get flustered today.
37:47I'm flustering.
37:48Are you going to try and rip a hole?
37:51Oh .
37:5229 seconds.
37:53Oh you bastard.
37:55Are you trying to soar a hole with a chalice?
37:58Oh my god.
38:00Yes.
38:015 seconds.
38:03Should I go for one more Paul?
38:06How's that Paul?
38:07It's good.
38:08You happy with that?
38:09Yeah.
38:10You want to measure it?
38:11I usually measure once you've left.
38:12Of course you do.
38:13And what if the taskmaster says it's two different towers?
38:14Well then we'll have to fight.
38:15Thank you Alice.
38:16No worries.
38:17Thank you Bri.
38:18Thank you Paul.
38:19Oh god.
38:20Bri, it's good to finally meet someone like me who assesses every person they meet as
38:25either a scruncher or a folder.
38:26Can you say what all of us are?
38:27Absolutely.
38:28I've got a real gift for you.
38:29It's only a two different hours.
38:30I guess it's two different hours.
38:31Well then we'll have to fight.
38:32Thank you Alice.
38:33No worries.
38:34Thank you Bri.
38:35Thank you Paul.
38:36Oh god.
38:37It's good to finally meet someone like me who assesses every person they meet as either
38:48a scruncher or a folder.
38:50Can you say what all of us are?
38:53Absolutely, I've got a real gift for it. Folder. Folder. Don't.
39:01Strangely, I'm getting a bidet vibe from you. I don't know why.
39:05Folder, folder. Am I correct?
39:07Yeah, correct. A hundred percent.
39:09I'm straight into the bathtub.
39:12Should we look at some heights?
39:13Yeah, let's do that.
39:16I mean, I could share toilet paper all night to be honest, but...
39:19Brie, one metre, five. Alice's, do you count that as one tower?
39:24So there was a bottom part underneath the tramp, right?
39:27Yes.
39:27And then that was touching the tramp, and then there were a whole lot more on top of the tramp?
39:31Yes.
39:32Yeah, I'd count that as one.
39:33Okay.
39:33That's a tower.
39:34With that being accepted, Alice's tower was one metre, 87.
39:39Ooh.
39:40Still not that high.
39:42Which means one point for Pax, two points for Brie, three points for Jackie,
39:47four points for Jack, and five points for Alice Sneddon.
39:53Next up, the greatest live task in the history of this episode.
39:58But first some ads.
39:59We'll see you shortly.
40:00Welcome back to Taskmaster.
40:16Almost time for our live task, but first Paul, let's get a little score update.
40:22Leading the pack with 20 points, it's Jack.
40:25Can you believe it?
40:29It's Jack's episode to lose.
40:31All right, contestants, please head up to the stage for our final task of the show.
40:39Okay, Paul, who's re-ing the task tonight?
40:41Brie Tomasell.
40:43Here we go.
40:44Burst the balloon six seconds after Paul says burst.
40:48Crack the soda can six seconds after Paul says crack.
40:52Pop the champagne six seconds after Paul says pop.
40:55Or bang the confetti six seconds after Paul says bang.
40:59Closest to the time wins.
41:01There are four rounds.
41:03You may only do one action per round.
41:05Your time from each round will be combined.
41:08If you do the wrong action, you will be given a 20 second penalty.
41:13Oh.
41:14What does that mean?
41:15So can you say that again?
41:16So burst, crack, pop, bang.
41:20So just to clarify.
41:21Can you say it one more time?
41:22Oh.
41:23Okay, we've really upset him.
41:26Are you ready for round one?
41:27Ready.
41:28I was walking down the street when I felt a blast of wind shoot past me.
41:33Boom.
41:34It set off a snap and hit me like some champagne.
41:37I married a rat.
41:38Clang, snap, crack, launch confetti.
41:41I felt like a balloon exploding.
41:43Rapture and fracture.
41:44It's time for a soda.
41:55Round two.
41:56It's time for a soda.
41:58Swoosh.
41:59Marry a rat.
42:00Step on a snap.
42:01Explode.
42:02When I blast confetti, I drink soda pop.
42:04Snap the concrete and shoot the champagne.
42:06Four.
42:07Five.
42:08Six.
42:09I felt like a balloon exploding.
42:10Rapture and fracture.
42:11Oh.
42:12Oh.
42:13God.
42:17That was hard.
42:18Round three.
42:19I shot a glance at a glass of champagne.
42:22Boom.
42:23Confetti fills the sky.
42:24I crack a smile and snap my fingers.
42:26Smack.
42:27A balloon hits me.
42:28This song is a bop.
42:29The champagne pours and the soda flies.
42:32Can you do the can-can?
42:33Yes, I can.
42:36You must do one action each round.
42:38I did.
42:39I did.
42:40I did.
42:41Alice.
42:45Okay.
42:46This is the final round.
42:47Oh, my gosh.
42:48Oh, no.
42:49Crash.
42:50Bang.
42:51I hit the bottle like a drum.
42:52Do the balloon.
42:53Open the can.
42:54Give me confetti.
42:55I want champagne now.
42:56Blast.
42:57Boom.
42:58Go, Pags.
42:59I think mine's broken.
43:00You have to twist it.
43:01You have to twist it.
43:02Which way?
43:03Different ways.
43:04So you follow the arrows.
43:05One hand goes one way.
43:06One hand goes the other way.
43:07Oh.
43:08Down here.
43:09Down here.
43:10Down here.
43:11Oh, yeah.
43:12All right.
43:13Come on down and we'll score it.
43:15Let's assign some values to these people's efforts.
43:19So the first round was a can, second round champagne, third round can, fourth round confetti.
43:30So now the total time difference across the four rounds.
43:34Alice was off by 27 seconds, but she was correct 100% of the time.
43:39That's good.
43:40Pags, 29 seconds, but again correct 100% of the time.
43:44Jack, 14 seconds.
43:47Ooh.
43:48Jackie, 12 seconds.
43:49Ooh.
43:50Ooh.
43:51Both correct 100% of the time.
43:53How did we do it?
43:54Brie was only five seconds difference, but was wrong twice.
44:00Oh.
44:01Right.
44:02So with the two 20 second penalties, her time difference was 45 seconds.
44:07Oh.
44:08That means one point for Brie, two points for Pags, three points for Alice, four points for Jack,
44:14and five points for Jackie Van Beek.
44:17How did she do it?
44:19Unreal.
44:20Okay.
44:21So what does that mean for our episode?
44:23That means for the first time in his life, the winner of episode eight is Jack Anset.
44:29Woo!
44:30Oh, my God.
44:31Oh, my God.
44:32Well done.
44:33Congratulations, Jack.
44:34You are now the proud owner of some things Paul would love to have, but he can't.
44:40Head up on the stage and take your bounty.
44:43Thanks, everyone.
44:44We'll see you next time.
44:45Paul Mario.
44:46That's the opening one.
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