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00:00Oh
00:30Welcome to Taskmaster. My name is Jeremy Wells and earlier this year in a secret conclave
00:41I was selected to be the leader of the Roman Catholic Church. However, I traded that position in to become something far more powerful
00:49And now I am the Taskmaster
00:55Joining me tonight are my faithful Cardinals, Alice Sneddon
01:00Bree Thomas L
01:02Jack Ansett
01:04Jackie Van Beek
01:06And Pax Asadi
01:10And by my side, as always, is a man who lives his life in the fast lane
01:15Except at the Glenfield Leisure Centre swimming pool
01:18Who is asked to move to the slow lane
01:21It's Paul Williams
01:25Before we get started tonight, I wanted to read a poem
01:28Would that be okay?
01:30Yeah, absolutely
01:39It's really beautiful
01:42Should we get into the prize task?
01:44Sure thing, Jeremy
01:45Tonight we've asked our contestants to bring in the best thing to snap
01:51Pax Asadi, what did you bring in?
01:53I'm just going to show you
01:56Oh
01:57Chock thins
01:58They snap on multiple levels
02:00They're thin, so they're very easy to snap
02:02And they make a very satisfying noise when they snap
02:05Second level is that this is my favourite biscuit
02:09So they also snap my will to eat healthy
02:15How long's the packet been open?
02:17That has been in my cupboard for a while
02:20I don't think it would be a snap
02:22No, no, no, no
02:23That has been opened recently
02:24Oh, so now you know when it was opened
02:26Yeah
02:27Alice, what did you bring in?
02:29Physical things to snap are exciting
02:31But there's nothing more exciting than sort of an emotional snap
02:36And as a child, what I discovered is that
02:39The ability to provoke a reaction out of one of your siblings
02:42Is bar none the best experience
02:45So I've brought in my sister
02:47Beautiful
02:48Yeah, she doesn't look it but she's a real bitch
02:55Just so you understand the prize task
02:57Your sister is going home with someone tonight who wins the episode
03:00Yeah, not only is she going home with someone tonight
03:03But I will tell that person all of her deepest vulnerabilities
03:08Brie, what did you bring in?
03:10Deep down, I'm a country girl at heart
03:12Through and through
03:13Which is why I know the best thing to snap is this
03:18Oh
03:21Wow
03:27Do we snap a whip or do we crack a whip?
03:29We crack a whip
03:30Definitely crack a whip
03:31Paul, I'd love you to look up the definition of snap
03:35A break suddenly and completely
03:38Typically with a sharp cracking sound
03:41Not bad
03:43Not bad
03:44Jackie, what did you bring in?
03:46I realised that by episode six
03:48Everyone would have been becoming very kind of snappy
03:51And kind of mean spirited
03:53So I have chosen
03:55It's a snap and heat hand warmer that gives you a feeling of warmth
04:00That goes from your palm up your arm
04:03Across kind of here down around your left breast into your heart
04:07And just makes you think, I'm so lucky to be here with you guys
04:10And not snapping at each other and just feeling like I snapped that
04:14But now I've got a feeling of warmth in my heart
04:16And what does it do to your breast?
04:17No, okay
04:18Yeah
04:19Can I just say one last word?
04:20I just want to give one last word
04:22One last word
04:24Positivity
04:26That was the best ending you've had so far, I've got to say
04:30At least it ended
04:31Thank you Jeremy
04:32Jack, what did you bring in?
04:33I think the best thing to snap is these guys
04:38So, using a $250 disguise
04:43Um
04:45I snapped photos of all of these guys without them realising
04:49Here is me next to Alice coming back from the airport
04:55I will not sign a release
04:59Um, here is me at Pax's comedy show
05:03Did you remember that?
05:04I genuinely remember looking at you thinking
05:08That guy looks weird
05:10Here is, um, me seeing Jackie on a walk with her husband up Mt. Eden
05:16Oh!
05:17And I said to him after we passed you
05:19I was like, whoa
05:20And Jessie was like, what?
05:21And I said, the dude with the beard
05:25The next, um, photo is, um, outside Bree's radio station
05:29Um
05:31How creepy is that?
05:32Oh
05:33Yeah
05:34Wow
05:35This is gonna be easy
05:36Pax won, cause he's just bought a pack of biscuits in
05:40Yeah, I knew it
05:41Jackie, two
05:42Because you swung by Costco again on the way here
05:45Three for Alice
05:46I understand what that's like to make a sibling snap
05:49That's quite a good feeling
05:51Brie, cracking the whip
05:52That's quite sexy
05:53I'll give you four
05:54And five for Jack, cause that's very good
05:56Thank you
05:58Oh, it feels good
05:59Feels good
06:00Yeah
06:01Okay, I really am ready for another task
06:03What have we got?
06:04Ding dong, did anyone order a task?
06:06Well, here you go
06:07Hello
06:14Hi Paul
06:15Hello Jackie
06:16Great to see you again
06:17Hi Paul
06:18Oh my god, Paul
06:19Hey
06:20Hey Paul
06:21Oh, lunch
06:22You shouldn't have
06:23Sorry
06:26Deliver this burger to the caravan
06:28Easy
06:29Fastest wins
06:30No problem
06:31You may not throw
06:32Or disrespect the burger
06:34Disrespect the burger
06:35Disrespect the burger
06:36Don't laugh
06:37That's disrespecting the burger
06:38I'm so sorry
06:39Every time you wish to take a step with the burger
06:42You must first complete one of the 50 steps on Paul's scroll
06:47What scroll?
06:48Oh that scroll
06:49You may choose which numbered step from the scroll you wish to complete
06:54You may not look at Paul's scroll
06:56Don't look at it
06:57Oh so I can't even look at it like there
06:59I'd prefer it if you didn't
07:00Your time starts now
07:07Alright, who's leading the charge with this one Paul?
07:09Stepping up to the plate first, it's Bree and Alice
07:12Number 8
07:13Spin around 5 times without falling over
07:1513
07:16Do heads, shoulders, knees and toes
07:18Oh shit Paul
07:20I do the song wrong
07:22Heads and shoulders, knees and toes, we all got hands together
07:29Was that two steps?
07:30That was one
07:31You stepped with that foot and then you stepped with that foot
07:33I don't believe that to be true
07:35Number 6
07:36Say your name backwards
07:37Eerie
07:38Number 12
07:39Touched two things that rhyme
07:40Red head
07:41Number 1
07:42Smile
07:4315
07:46Balance something on your finger while reciting a nursery rhyme
07:49Mary had a little lamb as we saw as white as snow
07:52Wow
07:537
07:54Recreate a famous painting using only your body
07:5822
07:59Draw yourself riding your favourite animal
08:02Huge pig
08:04Number 2 please
08:05Whisper your middle name 10 times
08:07Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie
08:0934
08:10Bury an item and give it a moving theulogy
08:13What's that?
08:14It's your pen
08:15Hey
08:16Touched two things that rhyme
08:19Badge
08:2140
08:22Balance four stones on top of each other
08:25What?
08:28Okay
08:30It's balanced
08:31Hold on, I haven't even moved the burger once
08:33Yeah
08:34What?
08:37Two
08:38Sing your favourite vegetable
08:39Asparagus
08:40Ooh
08:42Four
08:43Sit down and then stand up
08:48Touch
08:49Stop the clock
08:50Thanks Paul
08:51I think there was a few things I could have done better
08:53Like what?
08:54The start, the middle and the end
08:56Thank you
08:59Alice
09:00You weren't paying a lot of attention to the task
09:02Because there was that point where you'd forgotten to move the burger
09:06With all due respect to the burger I thought I'll let you have a little rest
09:12You take it easy for a bit, I'll get the work done and then I'll bring you up to speed as and when needed
09:18Brie, head, shoulders, knees and toes
09:21What did you do? Can you do it?
09:22What was it?
09:23What did you do?
09:24Heads and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes, heads and shoulders, knees and toes
09:29We all clap hands together
09:31It's in my brain, I can't get rid of it
09:33Is that cause in regional Queensland you have extra knees and toes?
09:37Let's talk times
09:39Alice, 12 minutes and 8 seconds
09:41She completed 14 steps
09:43Brie, 6 minutes and 9 seconds
09:45Wow
09:46She did 11 steps
09:48This is a great opportunity for us all to get our 10,000 steps in
09:51Why don't you wander around the living room while the ads are playing and we'll see you after a couple of minutes
10:09Welcome back to Taskmaster
10:11What's going on Paul?
10:12Our contestants are delivering burgers to the caravan
10:15Up next, Du Bois
10:17Delivering a boiga
10:2148
10:22Find three gnomes in the forest
10:25Oh what?
10:2627
10:27Perform a one minute Shakespearean monologue about sandwiches
10:30Oh sandwich, oh
10:33Your lettuce, mmm
10:35You want that Romeo?
10:36Get that down ya, ya dog
10:39Thank you
10:41Okay
10:4250
10:43Head to the forest on the far side of the lake and find the lost treasure of the Esperanza
10:48All the way down there?
10:49Are you serious?
10:5032
10:51Make a paper airplane and fly it over the caravan longways
10:54You've made many paper planes before
10:56I think this is my third one in my entire life
10:59Wow
11:03Oh, I found an X
11:05Is that it?
11:06Yeah
11:07All for that, the rubber duck egg
11:08I'm gonna YouTube
11:09Really
11:10Really
11:11Good
11:12Paper airplane
11:13He has quite nice hands
11:15Beautiful hands
11:16Like just the right amount of hair
11:1812
11:19I'll go with 12
11:20Touch two things that rhyme
11:21Ass
11:22Grass
11:23Look at this bro
11:24Honestly it feels like we're in Top Gear now
11:26Are you Tom Cruise?
11:27Is he on Top Gear?
11:28Top Gear
11:29You mean Top Gun
11:30What's Top Gun?
11:3130
11:32Sing a one minute ballad about one of the other contestants
11:34Jackie Van Beek
11:36You are so sleek
11:47Number 49
11:48Float a marble on the lake for one minute
11:51Four
11:52Sit down and then stand up
11:54Oh
11:57It's going in there
11:5912
12:00Touch two things that rhyme
12:02Grass
12:03Grass
12:04And
12:06Do I have consent to touch your ass?
12:08Sure
12:09Ass
12:10I ask for consent
12:11You could also just do your own
12:17Stop the clock
12:22Time
12:24Thank you Paul
12:25I'll be in here
12:26Doing my burger
12:33Thanks
12:34Thanks
12:35Pax
12:36Do you regret doing the ass touching?
12:37You're straight to the camera operator's ass
12:39That cameraman had badonkadonk
12:42It seemed to me that the tasks were getting more and more difficult
12:49The tasks were ranked in difficulties
12:52Why did you say that?
12:54It was implied
12:56So one being easiest, 50 being the hardest
12:59And these guys liked quite high numbers
13:01Yeah
13:02That would explain why I went to the lake two times
13:05So which Shakespearean character was it that said
13:08Um
13:09You like that
13:10Romeo
13:11Get it down you
13:12You dog
13:15Background
13:16Peasant 10
13:18Obviously
13:20I think we need some stats Paul
13:22So Brie was the fastest so far with 6 minutes and 9 seconds
13:26Jack 21 minutes and 6 seconds
13:29And Pax 36 minutes and 28 seconds
13:32Whoa
13:33We spent a lot of time on that paperplay YouTube video
13:36Right we've got one delivery left Paul
13:38Yes Jeremy let's take a peek at the sleek Van Beek
13:42Okay
13:45That's disrespectful
13:46Not to the burger
13:4727
13:48Perform a one minute Shakespearean monologue about sandwiches
13:52Forsooth whereeth my bread is
13:55Hark there it is in the river near Ophelia
13:57I dive
13:59I dive in and capture her
14:02I'm tumbling down the river
14:04Tumbling down
14:05That's a minute
14:06Good okay I'm ready
14:07Jackie you're back here
14:08No I'm not
14:09That's what the flag is for
14:10God
14:11Okay
14:15Are you disrespecting the burger?
14:17Certainly not
14:19So these aren't steps?
14:20Don't think they aren't even touching the curb
14:22Is that a step?
14:23No
14:25Cool
14:26Is that a step?
14:27No Paul
14:28None of these things are steps
14:32Oh god
14:34Delivered
14:40Did Jackie disrespect the burger Paul?
14:42I don't think so
14:43She was holding it
14:44She didn't crush it at any point
14:46Yeah
14:47Didn't seem to disrespect it
14:48I didn't have any ill will towards it
14:49Oh
14:50Have some balls man
14:51Come on
14:52Come on
14:53How many steps did she take?
14:54Well she only did one step
14:56It was a Shakespeare monologue
14:57And it was pretty good
14:58Thank you
14:59Yeah
15:00Jackie was four minutes and one second
15:01Wow
15:02To deliver the burger
15:03Okay so where does that leave the points then Paul?
15:05Do we accept Jackie's?
15:06Oh absolutely
15:07Thank you
15:08That means
15:09One point for Pax
15:10Two points for Jack
15:11Three points for Alice
15:12Four points for Brie
15:13And five points for Jackie Van Beek
15:16I feel like it's a good time
15:19To have a look at the scoreboard for the episode Paul
15:22It's pretty tight
15:23Apart from Pax who's on two points
15:26In first place with eight points
15:28Brie Thomassell
15:30That was a bad guy
15:32Again
15:33So we are now past the halfway point in the series
15:36I think it'd be a good time to have a series score update
15:39Leading the pack with 89 points Brie Thomassell
15:46Amazing
15:47Okay Paul
15:48What's the next task?
15:49In this task the aim of the game is to aim
16:03Paul?
16:04Paul?
16:05Paul?
16:11Oh f***
16:13Oh jeez
16:15Oh
16:16You're insane
16:17You poked someone's eye out
16:18You've got glasses on
16:19I said someone's
16:20Oh
16:25What have we got here?
16:26Demonstrate exceptional aim
16:29Best demonstration of aim wins
16:32You may choose which attempt to submit
16:34You have 30 minutes
16:35Your time starts now
16:36So I can choose what to aim for and what to aim with
16:39Yes
16:40Have I got access to a gun?
16:42No
16:43Do we have a crossbow?
16:44I don't think we have a crossbow
16:46A ball
16:47Okay
16:48Should we go look for balls?
16:49Yeah
16:50Okay
16:51Let's go look for balls
16:52You found yours yet?
16:53I'm interested Alice
16:57So if we did have a gun on sight
17:00Yeah
17:01What was your plan?
17:02Have Paul stand under a tree with an apple on top of his head
17:07And I'd just give it my best one of those
17:11Alright Paul
17:12Which eagle eye contestants are we going to see first?
17:14Two athletes at the top of their game
17:17It's Jackie and Alice
17:19We'll just warm up for a few
17:23Punished
17:24I have set out five cones
17:26One throw from each cone
17:31Watch out
17:32Number one
17:34Oh god
17:39That's gone for four into the river
17:41I will now illustrate my incredible aim
17:47Yes
17:50Oh that's caught
17:51Okay
17:52You come stand here
17:54Yes
17:55So that's two of two
18:00Number three
18:01Are you ready Paul?
18:02Yes
18:03Okay I need you to do one long note for me
18:08Yes
18:09I think pitch that up a little bit
18:12Yeah
18:15Are you ready Paul?
18:16Mmhmm
18:19Fantastic
18:20In front of the wicket Paul
18:21Actually let's start without the bat
18:25Do that
18:27Good enough
18:28Let's go again
18:29You can hold the bat this time
18:30Left handed
18:31That was two in a row
18:32For five of five
18:39Five of five
18:41I don't think it was five of five
18:42Please don't do that
18:45Blow that
18:47Three in a row
18:49Cat track
18:51Do you want a bowl?
18:52Maybe one
18:53Okay
18:59She really got a hold of that
19:01It's too short Paul
19:02Don't bounce her with the first delivery
19:04What do you think?
19:05Pitch it up
19:12Jackie
19:13You seem surprised that Paul
19:14Questioned your assessment of five out of five
19:16Considering that your main way of getting the duck off his head was to hit him in the face for the ball
19:21I think it was five of five wasn't it?
19:23It was five out of fifteen
19:25So in terms of you Alice
19:27Yeah
19:28Just looking at the way that you came in
19:30You got nice and side on
19:31Yeah
19:32I could see the seam was upright
19:33Not only was the line good
19:34That length was outstanding
19:35Very tidy
19:36And I couldn't disagree with anything you say
19:40Can I just say sorry
19:41Because I'm getting a vibe that you might be a cricket fanatic
19:44And not so much a kind of duck archery fanatic
19:47But there's a lot of like terminology I don't understand
19:50I don't understand
19:51Alright I'd like to see a few more tosses if that's okay Paul
19:54Yes
19:55Two more tosses
19:56It's Brie and Pax
19:58Attempt number one
20:00Success
20:03Oh Paul
20:05Oh
20:07We can do better
20:12So sorry Paul
20:13I just have to commit
20:16Going in
20:17No Paul
20:19Oh
20:20Get some
20:21That's two in a row
20:22Do you want to see if you can get a third?
20:25Oh so sorry
20:28I should try a golf ball because that's even more impressive because it's small
20:32Oh
20:35I'm really legitimately sorry
20:38Four
20:42Oh
20:43Oh
20:44Oh
20:49Can you stop flinching it's putting me off
20:50Sorry
20:55The pinnacle of TV
20:59That's it
21:00Oh
21:01Oh
21:07That was so close
21:08Alright here we go
21:14Are you joking? Did that go in?
21:16Yep
21:20Yes Paul
21:22Straight down the pipe
21:23On the pipe
21:32Paul why did you have a hat and glasses on for Jackie's task but not with what Pax was doing to you?
21:40Well Jackie put those on me for protection
21:42I protected Paul
21:43Very nice
21:44Why did he need to be there with that thing in his mouth?
21:47I don't f***ing know man
21:49I want to say that the hole of the cone was only like two to one and a half centimeters bigger than the ball
21:57You designed the task
22:00You're such a smart man
22:02I think we need some stats Paul
22:04So Pax threw 124 throws
22:07Geez did he?
22:08A few of which hit me in the head
22:10Brie, only 38 attempts four of which went into the bath
22:14Yeah good arm by the way Brie
22:16I don't know about the dancing but the arm was good
22:19Well we'll make a base camp here and aim for the summit of this task on the other side of this ad break
22:25We'll see you in a tick
22:40Nau mai anu, welcome back to Taskmaster
22:43We're currently finding out which of our contestants has the best aim
22:46And so far half of them seem to be aiming for Paul's face
22:50Who have we got next Paul?
22:52He aims to please, it's Jack Ansett
22:55Do you have good aim?
22:56No, awful
22:57But aim isn't just aiming for something is it?
23:00You know, you could have an aim to like inspire youth
23:03How would you inspire youth?
23:04We could go to the local primary school and I could do a motivational chat in their classroom
23:10There is a school
23:12Yeah, but I'm not sure if we'd be allowed to film in it
23:14Might be able to get you near it
23:16Yeah, why not?
23:17Why not?
23:19Alright, that's not it
23:29Ahem
23:31Believe you can and you're halfway there
23:35Nothing is impossible
23:37The word itself says I'm possible
23:39I'm possible
23:41What does that mean though?
23:43It means that don't say things are impossible
23:46Because the word impossible has I'm possible in it
23:49But that doesn't make sense, I am possible
23:51Live, laugh, love
23:53That's when my mum goes by
23:55It's good to be good and awful to be awful
23:58Okay, well I think I've inspired the youth of tomorrow
24:01Well let's get out of here before the police show up
24:03Okay, so you read some motivational quotes to a fence
24:11Yeah
24:12We did not film them, but there were children looking through the classroom window
24:17Going, there he is, there he is
24:19And I think they heard me
24:22As someone who was there
24:24I don't think they could hear him, but they did see him
24:28One point for Jack, talking to a fence
24:31The crowd is turning on you
24:36Two points for Jackie, for chucking stuff at your face
24:40Three points for Pax, for chucking stuff at your face
24:44Four points for Brie, cause that's a good arm
24:47And you've got to say Alice Ned and Tidyline and Link
24:52You got another task for us Paul?
24:54I do Jeremy, and this task is novel if you get my gist
25:00One point for you
25:01One point for you
25:03One point for you
25:04One point for you
25:06Hi Paul
25:08Hello Jackie
25:09Hi Paul
25:10Hello Pax
25:12Give it a hoon hey Paul
25:14Get the gist of this book
25:16And then adapt it for the screen
25:18You have two minutes to get the gist
25:21One hour to film your adaptation
25:23Most faithful adaptation wins
25:25Your time starts now
25:26The scarlet pimpernel
25:29What's a pimpernel? Like a pimple
25:31Paris, 1792
25:33Fisherman, fisherman
25:35Secret orchard
25:37That's a good keyword here, vengeance
25:39How does it end?
25:40So it ends in a wedding
25:42Might be a wedding on a yacht Paul
25:44At Lord Grenville's Ball
25:45Shhh
25:53What did you learn?
25:54It's some kind of French Revolution thing
25:57And her first name's Scarlet
25:58Okay
25:59And her last name's
26:03What's the book called?
26:04Can't say
26:05Pimpernel, I don't know what a pimpernel is
26:08But I took from that pimple
26:10Have you seen the film?
26:11I saw it when I was a teenager
26:13And it was a sleepover
26:15I was really trying to impress this girl
26:17That I quite liked
26:19She was a nine-year-old Maori girl
26:22Sporty
26:23Okay
26:24Maybe she's sunburned or something?
26:26And that's why your parents
26:27She's scarlet?
26:28Yeah, okay
26:29Is it possible to go black and white except for her face?
26:31Yes
26:32Well shouldn't as list it
26:37Okay Paul
26:38You must have read The Scarlet Pimpernel
26:41The Scarlet Pimpernel?
26:42Is that what it's called?
26:43Yes
26:44Okay, that's a bad start
26:46So just a little bit of background
26:48The Scarlet Pimpernel is a man who leads a double life
26:52One as a useless English nobleman
26:54And the other as a hero who rescues French aristocrats
26:58From the guillotine during the reign of terror
27:01This is gonna be real interesting
27:03Okay Paul, who are we gonna see first?
27:05Up first, it's Jacques Ansett
27:06I do it
27:07Oh
27:09Ah, je suis nazy day in my secret orchids
27:13Ah, what a la...
27:17Sacret...
27:18Is that...
27:21My beloved
27:23And that is the fisherman
27:26She will regret this for the rest of her days
27:29Ah, Lord Greynville
27:35Invites you to the Parisian Ball
27:42Asha...
27:44It's a pretty crazy day
27:46We had in the orchard the other day
27:48We?
27:49Yeah, you're me, yeah.
27:50I said, yeah.
27:51Oh, my esteemed guests, welcome.
27:57There's nothing fishy going on here,
27:59nothing fishy at all going on here.
28:02I saw you in the secret orchard.
28:05What?
28:05Within.
28:07I'm going to react badly now.
28:09No.
28:19Vengeance so sweet.
28:24Why you do that?
28:27Are you all right?
28:29Ew.
28:30That's my ick.
28:32Red noses.
28:33See ya.
28:35He's never going to want you ever again,
28:37the fisherman.
28:38I forever now brand you with the name
28:41the Scarlet Pimple now.
28:44OK.
28:46Au revoir.
28:49Credit where credit's due, strong performance
28:59from the main French character, played by you.
29:02Yeah, I'm not going to say even I know
29:04what was going on.
29:06I think it was pretty bloody good.
29:08In fairness to you, I'm almost too afraid to criticize it
29:11because I can't remember what I did.
29:14Who's up next, Paul?
29:15Here's a silent movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:19.
29:31MUSIC PLAYS
30:01So I've written down there's a sunburnt woman who everyone laughs at.
30:29She finds a man to hook up with.
30:31She doesn't give him a book, so he calls her a sluzzer.
30:34He apologises and she promises to obey him for the rest of her life.
30:38No, I think obviously there's more nuance to it than that.
30:41We have loyalty through the betrayal, that theme is represented.
30:45We have romance, you know, love, the road to love is rough.
30:50So what did that have to do with the French Revolution?
30:54Oh, it's all just set during it.
30:58We're going to pause right there so that you at home
31:00could envision what your life would be like
31:02with a brand new car or some heavily discounted furniture.
31:05Hopefully these ads will help you with that.
31:07And we'll see you on the other side.
31:08APPLAUSE
31:09Welcome back to Tars Master,
31:24the only show brave enough to ask the question,
31:26what is a pimpernel?
31:28Remind us, what task are we in the middle of, Paul?
31:31Our contestants have been given two minutes
31:33to get the gist of a novel, The Scarlet Pimpernel,
31:36and then adapt it for the screen.
31:38Now let's get back to Paris with Parisis...
31:42with Pa... with Parisa...
31:44Paxi-sati.
31:47I don't want to torture you, you know that, right?
31:50Then don't torture me.
31:51I have to, because I'm British.
31:53I will never join the British.
31:56Also, why is your daughter here?
31:58It's weird for her to be here while I'm torturing you.
32:01She goes everywhere with me.
32:03Papa.
32:05All right.
32:06What's that over there?
32:07What? What is it?
32:11Oh, blimey.
32:14Papa, we got away.
32:15Yes, we did.
32:16What do we do now?
32:18What we were born to do.
32:20Be French.
32:31It's so fun being French.
32:44I caught ya.
32:45There's only one thing left for us to do.
32:48Baguette fight.
32:49All right, you're on.
32:51Baguette fight it is.
32:52Honga!
32:56Stop. Hold on. Stop this.
32:59What?
32:59I have to tell you something.
33:01What is it?
33:02I'm in love with your daughter.
33:04Oh, my God.
33:05You are in love with my daughter.
33:07That's right.
33:08Let's go.
33:10Should we take your father?
33:12No.
33:13All right.
33:14He seems weird anyway.
33:16He's a strange man.
33:22Some of the most French things that you could think of doing was to look at the Eiffel Tower,
33:26to smoke cigarettes, and then to eat pasta, Italian food.
33:30A journey through Europe.
33:32Aren't the dogs that kiss French?
33:35No.
33:35I've never had an audience yell, no.
33:40Isn't that your daughter that you're lady in the tramping with?
33:44Yeah, they're French.
33:46They love incest.
33:49Who's up next, Paul?
33:50Representing the French region of Brie, it's Brie.
33:56Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony.
34:02All right.
34:03Guess we'll do this soon.
34:04Someone sent a poop-a-nickel on the deck.
34:08It's finally got a reddish tinge to it, like they've been drinking a lot of beetroot juice.
34:14And I know Lady Blackony's been on a five-day cleanse.
34:17What?
34:19That's, that's crazy.
34:21Lady Blackony.
34:22How dare you?
34:23Is this true?
34:24Fine.
34:26It was I.
34:27I decided to ruin this wedding by defecating on the deck.
34:31I told you why we can't get married.
34:35We're related.
34:36It'd be weird and shit.
34:38I knew you'd say that.
34:39And so I've been researching our family tree.
34:42It turns out we are all cousins.
34:45What?
34:46Everybody on this boat.
34:47I guess if you guys are cool with it, I'm happy to have a family reunion.
34:52You know what I mean?
34:54Not really.
34:55Like we just make it a cousin three-way.
34:58Colour me interested.
35:00I'm keen.
35:00You're keen for that?
35:01Yeah.
35:01I mean, if you...
35:03All right.
35:03Come on, you big bitch.
35:04Let's go.
35:05Just three?
35:05Okay.
35:06Come on, Lady Blackney.
35:07The Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:17Okay, Bree.
35:18So according to you, the Scarlet Pimpernel was set on a boat in Bermuda in the early 1900s.
35:24Like Alice was saying, there was loyalty.
35:27Please don't drag me into this.
35:30Romance?
35:31There was definitely romance.
35:32Well, the romance was a cousin on cousin orgy.
35:34Yeah.
35:36And there would be people watching right now that are sitting next to their cousin saying,
35:42Wow.
35:43What they'd be saying according to you is, come on, you big bitch.
35:46Let's go.
35:52Okay, who's our last Pimpernel?
35:54She's our only contestant who has some existing knowledge of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:59It's Jackie Van Beek.
36:00My favorite place in the world.
36:02Video easy, Johnsonville, Randy.
36:05I love it as well.
36:06What about this one?
36:08Oh, it's called the Scarlet Pimpernel.
36:10It's about the French people and then, oh, there's a marriage.
36:14Oh, I love romances.
36:16Do you like romances, Randy?
36:18I love romance.
36:19Oh, this sounds enabling.
36:21Oh, my gosh, can you feel it?
36:23It's shaking.
36:24Don't lose your grip.
36:26I can't hold on, Jackie.
36:27But you're sporty.
36:29Oh, my gosh.
36:38Oh, we seem to be in another time and place.
36:40Oh, it's freezing.
36:41This doesn't really make sense, though, because I mean, I thought we were meant to be in France.
36:45Oh, God.
36:46Oh.
36:47I think we've got to go.
36:48Wait, the book.
36:50Yes.
36:50What?
36:50The DVD?
36:51The VHS.
36:52The VHS.
36:55Go.
36:55Get it.
36:56Oh, God.
36:56It's going.
36:57It's going.
37:01Randy.
37:03Randy.
37:06Wait a minute.
37:06You're not Randy.
37:07Bonjour, mademoiselle.
37:09I am the Scarlet Pimpernel.
37:10But I'm looking for Randy, my friend from Johnsonville from 1984.
37:14I do not know what you're talking about.
37:16All I know is we have to go to the ball now.
37:18Why would I go to the ball with you, though, Scarlet Pimpernel?
37:21Because I love you.
37:22Oh, my God.
37:23And I want to marry you.
37:24Oh, no, but my heart's with Randy.
37:26I do not care about this.
37:27All I care about is you.
37:29My heart's with Randy.
37:30I've just got to find a way to get back to Johnsonville.
37:32So see you later, buster.
37:34Au revoir.
37:35Au revoir.
37:36No, no, how will I get back to Johnsonville?
37:47What an ending.
37:48That's where it ends.
37:50What an ending.
37:51Okay, I've got a couple of questions.
37:53Where did you go in the...
37:54Where was the intermediate place with the beer?
37:57Yeah, Arctic.
37:58It was the Arctic, yeah.
37:58Why were you in the Arctic?
37:59Because portals are crazy.
38:02I absolutely loved it.
38:04I was riveted.
38:04But it is unbelievable that you're the only one of us with pre-existing knowledge.
38:10Okay.
38:10None of them had anything to do with the Scarlet Pimpernel.
38:13I kind of have to vote on things that were the closest to the Scarlet Pimpernel, I think.
38:17Right.
38:17In that context, I think, Bree, the fact that you set yours in Bermuda in the 1900s probably
38:23means that you get one point.
38:24Alice, there was no mention of the Pimpernel at all, so you get two points.
38:28That is an oversight.
38:29Three points to Jack, because there was some French stuff in there.
38:35This might seem crazy, but I'm going to give four points to Jacky, because it had the Scarlet
38:41Pimpernel in it.
38:41How many times in that book does a portal pop up?
38:45I know.
38:46And finally, I'll give five points to Pax, because there was a lot of French stuff going
38:50on, and there was some escaping going on.
38:55Time for an air break.
38:56It will take a few minutes, so it should be enough time for you at home to speed read
39:00War and Peace.
39:01I think that's a good idea.
39:02We'll see you in the moment.
39:03Welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:18Can I get a scoreboard update, please, Paul?
39:20Currently a three-way tie, all on 13 points.
39:23Jacky, Bree and Alice.
39:26Wow.
39:27They've picked up.
39:28I've got to say, Paul, what a great group of contestants we've got this season.
39:33And do you know, they're all great listeners.
39:36Very true, Jeremy.
39:37I have a fun story, actually.
39:38Very fun story.
39:40You piece of shit.
39:43I know what?
39:43What do you know that I don't know?
39:45I don't know.
39:45What have you just done?
39:46Let him finish.
39:48During their tasks at the house, there was a small technical difficulty.
39:53And during that technical difficulty, I told them each an identical story that they all
39:58listened to and loved.
40:00Oh, no.
40:01Could you please put on the airmuffs that are under your seats?
40:04Oh, no.
40:05This is like torture.
40:06Oh.
40:07Enjoy my story.
40:09Two Fridays ago, I went to Whangarei.
40:13Oh.
40:14And I went to the supermarket.
40:16Yeah.
40:17Then this elderly woman approached me.
40:19Okay.
40:20Well, she wasn't elderly.
40:21She was...
40:21My age.
40:22She was a 63.
40:24Okay.
40:25A little bit older than me.
40:26And she had this wild pink and purple dress on.
40:30And she asked if I could reach the top shelf.
40:34God, that made you feel good?
40:35And get the boysenberry jam.
40:36Uh-huh.
40:37But then when I got it down, she asked how much it was.
40:40And it was $5.90.
40:42And she only had $3.
40:44I didn't know what to do.
40:45Yeah.
40:46I was like, would the strawberry jam suffice?
40:49Yeah.
40:50So the strawberry jam is only $3, which is how much money she had.
40:54But she didn't like strawberry jam.
40:56So she just left.
40:57Are we ready?
41:03Yes, ma'am.
41:04I would like a pen and paper.
41:06How come?
41:07Because I want to write down your stupid little story.
41:10I didn't tell a stupid little story.
41:11You did.
41:12About a 63-year-old woman in a bread aisle.
41:15I told an interesting story.
41:16She wanted some jam that cost $5.90, but she only had $3.
41:21So then you got her the strawberry jam and you were in Whangaday.
41:24You were in Whangaday two weeks ago.
41:26Where you met an elderly woman who was 63 years old.
41:30And she wanted some jam, but she only had $3.
41:33Okay.
41:36Wasn't that lovely?
41:37You guys can all take your earmuffs off now.
41:39Wow.
41:40And head up to the stage for the final task.
41:43Oh my God.
41:47Okay, Paul.
41:48Who's reading the task tonight?
41:49Pax Asadi.
41:51Recount Paul's story.
41:52Most accurate recounting wins.
41:55You have 30 seconds to recount.
41:57Headphones on and sit down, please.
41:58Oh.
42:01Jack.
42:02For Christmas, I would like...
42:05Sit on the chair.
42:07Yeah, I regret that too.
42:11Paul said to me, in the strictest of confidence...
42:17He...
42:19He...
42:21He...
42:22He...
42:23He...
42:25He...
42:26He was in London with his flatmate.
42:28In my mother's negligee.
42:31And one of them came into his bedroom late at night.
42:34They didn't have a family dog, so they made him the family dog.
42:39And then they tried to milk him.
42:42They were halfway through and then he was like...
42:44My mother died...
42:46In a horrible...
42:48Parachute crash...
42:50In...
42:52Nicaragua.
42:53But then it all worked out fine and he's really happily married now.
42:58And that is pretty much the story.
43:08Alice.
43:09I believe the story is about how Paul went to Whangarei for two weeks.
43:14He went to a supermarket.
43:15It might have been in New World.
43:17And there was a lady there and she was wearing a top.
43:20It might have been purple.
43:21And I think something was cheaper at the supermarket in Whangarei than it was at the supermarket in Auckland.
43:26And I can't remember how much.
43:28I'm going to say $2.15.
43:30And then Paul had a great time.
43:35Did I do it?
43:45Killing me that I can't hear.
43:47This is the greatest moment of my life.
43:51Alright, everyone can take their headphones off.
43:53And we'll head down to score it.
43:56So what do you reckon about that, Paul?
44:00I mean, one of them was pretty good.
44:03Aww.
44:05I would say one point to everybody other than Alice, who I think probably deserves five points.
44:10Okay.
44:11Wow.
44:11I'll take it.
44:13Well done.
44:16So in terms of the episode scores, Paul, where are we sitting?
44:19The winner of episode six with 18 points, Alice Sneddon.
44:24Woo!
44:26Congrats.
44:28Congratulations, Alice.
44:29Please head up to the stage and claim your snappable things.
44:33Woo!
44:33Woo!
44:36See you next time.
44:37Mate wa.
44:38Woo!
44:38Woo!
44:39Woo!
44:39Woo!
44:40Woo!
44:40Woo!
44:41Woo!
44:41Woo!
44:42Woo!
44:43Woo!
44:44Woo!
44:45Woo!
44:46Woo!
44:46Woo!
44:47Woo!
44:48Woo!
44:49Woo!
44:50Woo!
44:51Woo!
44:52Woo!
44:53Woo!
44:54Woo!
44:55This is one of the great redemption stories of Taskmaster.
44:57No, no, no, no!
44:58Woo!
44:59Woo!
45:00I'm feeling deflated.
45:01At least I look cool in all these tasks.
45:03Woo!
45:04Woo!
45:05Woo!
45:05I'm a fantastic sports person!
45:06Woo!
45:07Woo!
45:08Woo!
45:09I have a baby.
45:10Yes!
45:11Yes!
45:12Yes!
45:13Finished.