- 4 months ago
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00:01Pull!
00:12Yes!
00:14Oh, ma'am.
00:16Au revoir!
00:20Yeah!
00:21Oh, no!
00:26Ah!
00:30Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:35My name's Jeremy Wells and I'm descended from a man named Giuseppe Wells, who invented the idea of giving things points.
00:46He raised a family of point-givers who eventually produced me, the greatest point-giver of them all.
00:55And thus, I was chosen to be the Taskmaster.
01:00We are just one episode away from finding out which of our five comedians will win this.
01:10A bust of my head made with asbestos and painted gold with 80% lead-free paint.
01:17But first, we have to find out who will win episode nine. So, let's get things started by introducing the comedians fighting for glory, or at least minimum embarrassment.
01:30It's Alice Neddin!
01:33Three-timer Sal!
01:35Jack Ansett!
01:37Jackie Van Beek!
01:40And Paxus Hardy!
01:42And as always to my left, he's the EA who's just okay.
01:48It's Paul Williams!
01:49What's the prize task tonight, Paul?
01:50Great question, Jeremy.
01:51Tonight we've asked our contestants to bring in the thing that looks the most like them.
02:04Okay.
02:05Brie, let's start with you. What's the thing that looks the most like you?
02:08Well, Jeremy, I think we can all agree that matching DNA is very close.
02:16So, I brought in my dad.
02:19Aww.
02:23I don't know about you, Jeremy. I think we look pretty close.
02:26Did you just do this so you could make the show pay for your family member to come home from Australia by any chance?
02:32I have no idea what you're talking about, Jeremy.
02:35Jackie, what did you bring in?
02:36Jeremy, I was walking through a store a few weeks ago and came upon an object that literally took my breath away.
02:44It was like looking in the mirror.
02:45I can show you now.
02:47I mean, not only the physical form, I think.
02:53But also, I do have a kind of emanating light that comes from my palm.
02:58When people are around me, they say they see my head kind of glowing with ideas.
03:02And so, I think spiritually and physically, the perfect match.
03:07It does look like you would voice that character in an animated film.
03:11Yeah.
03:12Pax, what have you brought in?
03:14Jeremy, baby, I really struggled with this prize task.
03:18I told my family I need to bring in something that looks like me.
03:20And my eight-year-old ran into her bedroom and she brought out her lion stuffed toy.
03:27And I thought she was bang on.
03:29And I said, can Daddy take that to the show?
03:31And she said, what will happen to it?
03:32And I said, well, if Daddy loses, which is highly likely, the other contestants will have to take it.
03:38And she said, no, Dad, I really would like it if you didn't, because that was a gift from Grandma.
03:43So, I've brought in this.
03:45Yeah, I waited till she went to school and I stole it from her bedroom and...
03:50So, you're putting so little effort into the prize task now, Pax, that you're outsourcing it to your kids.
03:55Yeah. I do still think it resembles me quite closely.
03:59Certainly hairy.
04:01Sometimes the most obvious things are the best things.
04:04Sometimes. Not in this case, but sometimes they are.
04:07Alice, what did you bring in?
04:09You know, I'm a tall person. I'm 5'10".
04:11Gun to my head, 5'9".
04:13But, um...
04:15I recently noticed that I'm out of proportion.
04:18So, I'm all torso.
04:20Like, look at me on this chair right now.
04:21Yeah.
04:22I'm like a head taller than everybody else.
04:24My legs are actually tiny and my arms are actually pretty small and my back's very wide.
04:29So, naturally, I look like a frog.
04:35Just to get the point home, I've done a side-by-side.
04:43That is sexy. That is sexy.
04:45That's very, yeah.
04:46Wow.
04:47That's spot on.
04:48Yeah.
04:49Jack, what have you brought in?
04:50I constantly get compared to this one person, like all the time.
04:54People are always like, oh my god, you look like this guy, right?
04:57This guy, right?
04:58Here he is.
04:59Yeah.
05:01We get it all the time.
05:02He's even here.
05:03Let's bring him out.
05:04We get it all the time.
05:06Holy hell.
05:07It's uncanny.
05:09Oh, speaking of all torsos.
05:13The resemblance is crazy.
05:16I was so worried that you'd brought in David Bain.
05:18Me too.
05:19I was terrified.
05:20Yeah.
05:22Wow.
05:24Alice, I'll be honest, he was not available.
05:28I think we can get a few of the side-by-side comparisons.
05:30That's going to help me judge, to be honest.
05:31Oh, no.
05:32Can we have a look?
05:33Oh, here we go.
05:35Okay.
05:36It's clear.
05:37Jack, one point.
05:38He said he was a bit nervous about coming on the show because he's on his bulking off-season.
05:43So am I.
05:47Pax, two points for you.
05:48There's a similarity there with the hairiness, but that's about where it stops.
05:52Now, Brie, that's freakily similar, but I think three points for you.
05:58Four points for Jackie Van Beek.
06:02Old and waxy, much like the candelabra.
06:06And that's freaky, Alice.
06:09Five points for Alice Sneddon.
06:14Alright, I'm ready for the first task of the show, Paul.
06:16You got it, Jeremy.
06:17Not too hot, not too cold.
06:19This task is just right.
06:27Hi, Paul.
06:28Hello, Brie.
06:29Ooh, Goldilocks.
06:32Goldilocks.
06:34Paul, do you like Goldilocks?
06:36I always felt like she was a bit of a bitch to the three bears.
06:39Like, it's their house.
06:40Yeah.
06:42Pick the right one.
06:43The right one will have a bear in it.
06:46Most bears found wins.
06:48You get one guess per section.
06:50You may not touch the items in any way.
06:53Great.
06:54Okay, your time starts now.
06:55Right, I'm ready to see some contestants.
07:00Try to find some bears, Paul.
07:02It's mama bear, papa bear and baby bear.
07:05And it's up to you to decide who is who.
07:07It's Alice, Brie and Pax.
07:09I feel like this bowl's too big.
07:11This bowl's too small.
07:12This one's just right.
07:14I think it's that one.
07:15I'm gonna go this one.
07:16Big boy.
07:18Come on, Paul.
07:20This is not the right porridge.
07:21It feels like a bear.
07:22There is a bear in the porridge.
07:25There is a bear in the porridge.
07:28It's a good batch.
07:29Yeah, you like a little rolled oats, you little bitch.
07:33That seems unnecessary.
07:34Fair enough.
07:35So where's the bear in this situation?
07:37In the upholstery?
07:38Is there anything on the bottom?
07:39Nothing on the bottom now, I can see.
07:41Let's go little guy.
07:42That one.
07:43I'm gonna go that one.
07:46Paul?
07:47There's no bear in the chair.
07:48The chair does not contain a bear.
07:49Well, I'm gonna pick that one.
07:50Cause I can see the GoPro and I'm just hoping that
07:52is indicative of something.
07:54That one.
07:55This one.
07:57There's no bear in the bed.
07:58In the bed.
07:59The bed does not contain a bear.
08:03There is a bear in the bed.
08:04Come on, Paul.
08:05Can I not touch the items in any way, but...
08:09Hope you feel really big.
08:13Red book.
08:14This little one.
08:15That one.
08:16Shit.
08:17There's no bear in here.
08:19The book does contain a bear.
08:21Too small.
08:22Too big.
08:23Just right.
08:24You're locking those.
08:25Lock it in.
08:26Then...
08:27Let's go little guy.
08:28Bull...
08:29sake.
08:30There is no bear in the shoes.
08:31The shoe contains a bear.
08:32What hat would you wear if you were part of the merry men?
08:33Gotta go feather.
08:34I mean...
08:35Fair enough.
08:36Could you do a jig for us, Paul?
08:38It did make me merry.
08:39Made me merry.
08:40There.
08:41Lock it in.
08:42Don't talk to me.
08:43Don't look at me.
08:44Don't touch me.
08:45That one.
08:46That one.
08:47That one.
08:48This one.
08:49For sake.
08:50The hat contains a bear.
08:51I am the best person in the world.
08:53In what?
08:54Finding small toy bears.
08:56Let's go with little guy.
08:57That one.
08:58Lock in the slipper.
08:59What?
09:00That one.
09:01Lock in the slipper.
09:02All right, I've got to go further.
09:03I've got to go further.
09:04I've got to go further.
09:05I mean.
09:06Fair enough.
09:07Can you do a jig for us, Paul?
09:08Could you do a jig for us, Paul?
09:09It did make me merry.
09:10Made me merry.
09:11There.
09:12Lock it in.
09:13Don't talk to me.
09:14Don't look at me.
09:15There is a bear in the boot.
09:17There is a bear in the slipper.
09:19There is no bear in the boot.
09:21We ended on a win.
09:23And what do we do when we end on a win, Paul?
09:30Thank you, Pax.
09:31Thanks, man.
09:32Thanks, Paul.
09:36The right one!
09:37What?
09:38The right one will have a bear in it.
09:45Alice, just a wee bit too late figuring that out.
09:49That has to be frustrating.
09:51Yeah, that was excruciating.
09:53So often I would go into these tasks and go,
09:55go on with a good attitude.
09:57Be light and breezy.
09:58Read the thing.
09:59Pay attention.
10:00Everything will go all right.
10:02And then the minute I see Paul,
10:03I just go into a completely different zone.
10:06At one point you said to Paul,
10:07you like a little role though, you little bitch.
10:11I'm just observing what I see in front of me.
10:15So, the three of you sort of went with the Pax Society strategy
10:19of just vibing it out.
10:20Yeah.
10:21It was real frustrating and...
10:23You guys got so many bears though.
10:25Yeah, my vibes were good that day.
10:27Well, at one point you thought you were the best person in the world.
10:30Yeah.
10:32I still think that.
10:34How do we go in terms of the amount of bears?
10:36Bree, two out of seven.
10:38Alice, one out of seven.
10:40Pax, five out of seven.
10:43Wow.
10:44What the hell?
10:46Join us after the break for more frustrating last minute realizations.
10:50For example, I could have picked anyone else to be my assistant,
10:54but now it's too late to do anything about it.
10:57We'll see you after this.
10:58Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show that tricks its contestants with fiendish puzzles
11:18based on wildly complicated ideas like left and right.
11:23That's right, Jeremy.
11:24So far, we've asked three of our contestants to point to the right thing.
11:28Up next, it's Goldilocks and the one brunette.
11:31Hold on, so pick the right one.
11:33Oh, see, I thought it was a clue, like the right one.
11:36Is it always the right one?
11:38That is something that you would do.
11:40That is definitely something you would do.
11:42Pick the right one.
11:43Could be a double bluff.
11:44Pick the right one.
11:45Well, I'm not gonna do that.
11:46Or am I?
11:48I'm just gonna commit, I reckon, and do all of the right ones.
11:52I'm just gonna go that one, actually.
11:54Porridge contains a bear.
11:56Okay, I'm just gonna see if my theory is correct.
12:00I'm gonna guess this chair.
12:04Yes!
12:05There's a bear!
12:06There is a bear in the chair.
12:10That's interesting.
12:11This one has staples all round.
12:13It has been quite tidily kind of stapled up.
12:16I'm going to go this one.
12:19There is no bear in the chair.
12:22I accuse this of having a bear in it.
12:24The bear could be hidden anywhere.
12:26This is just a guess.
12:28This is a game for idiots.
12:30Yes!
12:31There is a bear in the bed.
12:32I am a genius.
12:33I am a genius.
12:34I'm gonna go baby bear.
12:36Oh, man.
12:37There is no bear in the bed.
12:41Sorry, Jackie.
12:42The right book, the right book.
12:44The world of the children, because I love children.
12:47Yes!
12:49The book does not contain a bear.
12:51I accuse these Doc Martens of having the bear in them.
12:56So it's this one.
12:58The shoes do not contain a bear.
13:02Okay, the issue I'm having is that there's no logic, okay?
13:05I'm somebody that kind of likes a pattern.
13:07I like a logic.
13:08There's no logic to where the bears are hidden.
13:10I mean...
13:11That one.
13:12I accuse this cowboy hat.
13:13Yes!
13:14Yes!
13:15Yes!
13:16Yes!
13:17The hat contains a bear.
13:18That one.
13:19I'm going this one.
13:20Finally, this slipper.
13:21Yes!
13:22There is a bear in the boot.
13:23Well, it's safe to say I nailed that, eh?
13:24Mm-hmm.
13:25So what have I learnt?
13:26I've learnt that there's no logic.
13:28No thoughts gone into the preparation of this task clearly.
13:29It's a task for idiots.
13:30So you figured it out.
13:31You then were immediately proven correct.
13:32And then you immediately chose the wrong chair.
13:35Oh, I think I worked it out.
13:50And then you immediately chose the wrong chair.
13:51Oh, I've worked.
13:52I need to facilitate it.
13:53Good.
13:54Are you sure?
13:55Gave Gun.
13:56Yes!
13:57You get that.
13:58Good.
13:59I've got my bathroom here.
14:00Thank you, you've got my bedroom check.
14:01Then I thought, it's a double bluff.
14:03And then I forgot to check the old theory of the right one.
14:07And I completely went from my mind
14:08and I just went by spinning madly in a field.
14:11Well, you said it yourself.
14:12This is a task for idiots.
14:16I'm scared to say this, Jack, but well done.
14:19Oh, thank you.
14:20Yeah, it was good.
14:22Good on you, man.
14:24I think the best thing to do is just nod and say thanks.
14:27Oh, yeah, that's what I'm doing.
14:28I'm just, yeah, keeping a little note.
14:30So let's have a look at the scoring then in terms of bears.
14:34Jack, seven out of seven.
14:36Jackie, three out of seven.
14:38Not bad.
14:38You should have got seven, but anyway.
14:40So that means one point for Alice, two points for Bree,
14:43three points for Jackie, four points for Pax,
14:46and five points for Jack Ansett.
14:48Okay.
14:50So how is the scoreboard looking?
14:53Paul, incredibly tight.
14:55Three of them are on six with a one point lead on seven.
14:58Jackie Van Beek.
15:00Should we do a series score update?
15:04It's very tight between four of our contestants.
15:07And Pax is having a lot of fun.
15:10I'm just happy to be here.
15:14Out in first on 136, Jackie Van Beek.
15:17Yay!
15:18Right.
15:19That's right.
15:20Okay.
15:21I'm ready for another task, Paul.
15:22Yes, sir.
15:24Our first task was simple, but this one is elementary, my dear Wells.
15:29Hello, Bree.
15:42Paul Williams.
15:43Hello, Jack.
15:44No relation to Guy Williams?
15:46No.
15:47No.
15:48How are you?
15:49Sorry.
15:50Ooh.
15:51Uh-huh.
15:52Detective.
15:53It's a good look.
15:54Right way.
15:55Write and perform an original one minute scene to be included in an imagined musical about the life of Sherlock Holmes.
16:14Your scene must include a musical number and focus on his early childhood.
16:18And focus on his teenage years.
16:21On his years at university.
16:24On his life post-graduation.
16:26On his later years at death.
16:29You have one hour.
16:30Okay.
16:31Your time starts now.
16:32You a big Sherlock Holmes fan?
16:33No.
16:34Like, was he a real person?
16:36No.
16:37This, I like.
16:39I look like Pakistani Gandalf.
16:43Maybe his parents, one of them was having an affair and he was the one who cracked the case.
16:50Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes.
16:55Oh, so much better when he did it.
16:57Watson, how could you deceive me?
17:02You dirty, dirty British piece of shit.
17:06Hex, do you think a British Sherlock Holmes would say to Watson, also British, do you think that he would call him a dirty, dirty British piece of shit?
17:19Well, in this imaginary world, Sherlock Holmes is Pakistani.
17:24And so he would because, you know, 300 years ago they took us to their land to do work.
17:28And then they realised that was a bad idea because we have weak upper bodies and thin ankles.
17:32Right, Paul, I am ready for Holmes, the musical.
17:38Curtains up.
17:39Light the lights.
17:40It's opening night.
17:41Act one.
17:42Here's his childhood through to his university days.
17:45It's Sherlock Holmes, as performed by Brie, Jack and Jackie.
17:52Oh, mum and dad.
17:54Oh, I am sad.
17:56Cause I just found out some bad information.
18:00I saw dad with his golfing buddy Brad.
18:05But they were getting different types of hole-in-ones.
18:09How dare you, son?
18:11I was on a run when I slipped and fell on top of my friend Brad.
18:17I have proof.
18:19What say you to these photos of you and your friend Brad?
18:25Brad!
18:26I'm sorry, son.
18:27That can't have been fun.
18:28To find out this big secret about me.
18:30Actually, dad.
18:31It felt great.
18:32And you really gave me purpose in this world.
18:34Cause you were gay.
18:35Cause I was gay.
18:36I found my way.
18:37I found my way.
18:38I found my way.
18:39I found my way in this world because of you.
18:42Cause you were gay.
18:43I found my way.
18:44I found my way.
18:45I found my way in this world because of you.
18:48Cause you were gay.
18:49Cause I was gay.
18:50I found my way.
18:51I found my way.
18:52I found my way.
18:53I found my way.
18:54I found my way in this world because of you.
18:59Cause you were... gay.
19:08Okay.
19:15Looking out the window, it's a Tuesday.
19:19Stuck in my room, no friends to play.
19:24Pressure of the world off my shoulders.
19:28I don't wanna be a cop, mama, already told us.
19:33I don't wanna be Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes.
19:43I wanna work in the mountains and make a decent wage.
19:48I don't wanna be the Zogmatty's Edge.
19:52I don't wanna be Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes called Sherlock Holmes.
20:01I just wanna be...
20:06...me.
20:08Tick tock tick tock, I am a university professor, waiting for Sherlock Holmes.
20:15All right, gov.
20:16How do you wish to waste my time today, then?
20:20I read your exam.
20:21Yeah?
20:22Why do you answer every question with just another question?
20:29That's a good question, gov.
20:31He's right.
20:32I spend my life asking who, what, what, how do you wish to waste my time today, then?
20:36I read your exam.
20:37Yeah.
20:38yeah why do you answer every question with just another question
20:47that's a good question gov
20:53he's right
20:56i spend my life asking who what when where how
21:03this is a turning point for me
21:11go for it sherlock now i may not make class today sir in fact i may not be back ever but thanks yeah
21:27what a journey through time wow okay there's a lot to unpack there
21:33so just to be clear brie his father was having a gay love affair with his best friend called brad
21:40yeah his golf buddy brad and he figured out he wanted to be a private investigator and he was
21:44snapped at a place called gay club very popular back in the 80s so um jack you took over the
21:52teenage years and just to be clear sherlock holmes wanted to earn a decent wage working in some mines
21:58yeah yeah man it was sherlock home home schooled um and it was your classic reverse billy elliott
22:07yeah ah why were you climbing through a window so i was escaping into the skies and i said paul i want
22:13you to make it that i'm flying through the sky but i don't think they had the editing budget and then
22:17jackie you were the only person who included dialogue in yours i was absolutely obsessed with musicals when
22:23i was younger i would spend all of my school holidays like listening to the cassette tape of annie and
22:28then stopping it and writing down the words and then i'd perform the entire thing for my parents and
22:32their drunk friends i have to say when i think of you i think of musical theater do you yeah when i think
22:38of you i think of candles yeah thank you now before we get into the second act of this musical it's time
22:44for a quick intermission so please go purchase an overpriced beverage use the bathroom and then return for
22:50your seats we'll see you in a moment welcome back to taskmaster the show that asks the question what
23:10if you took something with the quality of poor high school musical and put it on the television the
23:15answer six seasons and counting baby all right paul i'm ready for the grand conclusion of sherlock holmes
23:21the musical we've seen the classic story of sherlock holmes so far raised by a gay father pining for
23:29the mines and dropping out of university now it's time for the later years of sherlock's life
23:34it's pax society and alice snedden
23:41job job job job job i need a job job job job job i need a job job why is it so hard for me post-university
24:01i need a job job job job job job job i need a job job job job job i need a job job
24:11watson the officer will see you now
24:19job job job job i hope he doesn't get my job
24:26job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job
24:56along my good friend every time you check my chart the poison slowly doing
25:03its work a jealousy fills your heart it's true I've always lived in your
25:09shadow always the sidekick never the star but now I'm afraid to say dear
25:14Sherlock you've gone too far that's the cue to stop the music I knew it was you
25:22Watson no one will believe you oh really there's one thing you didn't count on my
25:27friend what's that I'm actually a Kiwi bloke from New Zealand and everyone will
25:35believe me because everyone around the world loves and trusts New Zealanders for
25:40no particular reason like Tiger White and Steven Adams and for a while Jacinda but
25:45then it went bad for her kind of I'm not sure why it just did oh damn we how did I
25:55not see that coming
25:58Alice and great lyrics there job job job job I need a job job it's a catchy tune it is it's a
26:17really catchy tune job job job job job I need a job job there's something in it I will also say in
26:24Alice's defense the camera crew were singing that song for two months Pax it's not often
26:32that you see West End performers with the lyrics in their hand I quite like the way you tried to
26:39make it relevant to a New Zealand audience I thought that was fine you know I knew that
26:43Kiwi sitting at home would see it I wanted them to feel seen so I made Sherlock Holmes from Gisborne yeah
26:50I didn't think that Sherlock Holmes last words were going to be or damn boy okay so I've got a
26:58judge just before you do that though can I just say one thing sure job job job job job I need a job job
27:07job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job
27:37has it been more relevant to say, job, job, job, job, I need a job, job.
27:44Two points for Pax, maybe just bit off a few too many plot twists at the end.
27:49Three points for Jack, good song, catchy song.
27:52Yes.
27:52I couldn't quite understand why you were coming out of the window.
27:55Because it was a metaphor for flying.
28:00Jackie, four points for you, I like the spoken word part.
28:04And then I've got to say, very impressed with Brie, five points for Brie.
28:07Thank you, Thomas.
28:11I didn't know I had it in me.
28:14I am actually ready for another task now.
28:16I'd actually prefer it if this one didn't involve any singing, if we're okay.
28:19I'll make some calls and see what I can do.
28:28Hi, Paul.
28:29Hello, Jackie.
28:30Hi, Paul.
28:31Hello, Brie.
28:32I'm back for more.
28:33Good.
28:34We need you to do all the tasks.
28:35Yeah, sorry.
28:36If you could just keep coming back.
28:37Okay.
28:38How are you going?
28:39I'm good.
28:39How are you?
28:40Not good.
28:40What's wrong?
28:41It's been a really hard 20 months.
28:4520 months?
28:46Get a former contestant to say the phrase,
28:51hippo on a log with a purple wizard hat on.
28:54You cannot say any of the words on the blackboard.
28:58Got it?
28:59You must let the contestant speak.
29:02Every time you speak, you must start with the words Paul is holding on his cue cards.
29:07Fastest wins.
29:08Your time starts now.
29:09How do I get hold of the former contestant for a start?
29:14The telephone.
29:15It's an incredible piece of technology.
29:16You can basically talk to anyone, even if they're not immediately around you.
29:20Oh, look at that.
29:22They're all here.
29:23How am I going to pick?
29:24I love all these people.
29:27News without Google account.
29:33I'm assuming that's the hippo.
29:34That's the thing.
29:35How does that help me in any way?
29:38It doesn't.
29:42What have you been struggling with for the last 20 months?
29:45Just life.
29:49You know, I just have so much darkness inside me.
29:55Alright, let's see our new contestants make some of the old contestants say some words.
30:00Hip hip apodermus.
30:02It's Bree and Alice.
30:03People say Brinley Stent and I look very similar.
30:08Hello, I'm Bree speaking.
30:10Yes, but Guy, it's Alice.
30:12Guy, it's Alice?
30:13Yes.
30:14Is this Guy Montgomery?
30:15I think this is Matt.
30:16No, it's not Guy Montgomery, no.
30:19This might be the wrong number.
30:20Hello, Brinley speaking.
30:21Hi, Brinley, it's Bree.
30:23Hey, kind of on the clock.
30:24I am currently doing a task.
30:27Is this a part of it, that it's the wrong number?
30:30It wasn't meant to be, no.
30:31Okay, Nat, this is with all due respect.
30:33I don't think you're the man for the job.
30:35I don't know what the job is, but if I'm not the man for it, then...
30:37No, oh, but now I feel bad.
30:39Okay, f*** it, we're just going to do it.
30:40Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
30:43Find something to write down.
30:45First word is kind of like rhino, but it's not.
30:48First word is kind of like rhino, but it's not.
30:51Okay, hippo, hippopotamus.
30:53The second word is not off, it's...
30:56Off.
30:57Um, yeah.
30:58That's perfect.
30:59And then a really small word.
31:01Ah, it.
31:02Yeah, first one.
31:04Yes, but that was correct.
31:05Like a version of wood, what would you call that?
31:07You'd put it on the fire.
31:09Yes.
31:09Hippopotamus on a log.
31:10No, not at all.
31:14Okay, so I'm assuming that's yes.
31:16Brindley, this is why I loved you.
31:18Think of a joining word.
31:20You'll order a burger and you'll say that.
31:23Five.
31:24Oh, Jesus.
31:25Squish, squish, squish.
31:26Yes, yes, Brindley.
31:28And then another single letter word, we've already used it.
31:31We're using it again.
31:32Hatter on a log with a...
31:34Yes, okay, great.
31:35That's perfect.
31:36Now run through all the colours of the rainbow, but a basic rainbow.
31:40Yellow.
31:40Orange.
31:41Green.
31:42Blue.
31:43Red.
31:43Purple.
31:44Yes.
31:45Purple.
31:45Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, purple.
31:47Purple.
31:49Yes.
31:49What do people say about Harry Potter?
31:51He's a what?
31:52A turf.
31:53No, that's us.
31:54Take it real quick.
31:55He's a what?
31:56Yeah, it's kind of like that, but also it's kind of like that.
32:01What do you put on top of your head?
32:03A hat.
32:04Yes.
32:04Yeah, and the opposite of off is on.
32:09Say the whole sentence again.
32:10A hippopotamus on a log with a purple with a tap.
32:16Yes, it's kind of like that, but yes, friendly, come on.
32:20Perfect.
32:21Oh my God, Matt.
32:22I'm so sorry.
32:23I was such a bitch at the beginning.
32:25It's all good.
32:26So first things first, Alice.
32:30Do you think Guy Montgomery would have been better than Matt Heath at that task?
32:33Because, I mean, having scored both of them, I can honestly say yes, he would have been.
32:37Actually, he was incredible.
32:39I know he's a friend of yours.
32:41So, um, kind of just keep that in mind.
32:45Did I hear you say the word purple there?
32:48I cannot speak to what you have or have not heard.
32:52She also said would, which is also a banned word.
32:57But Brie also broke the rules by saying rhino.
33:01I cannot speak to what you did or did not hear.
33:04Well, let's call it there before we call another former Taskmaster contestant.
33:09I wonder if we can spot any other former contestants in the following ads.
33:13We'll see you after this.
33:27Kia ora anō.
33:28Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five comedians are competing to win a soft toy
33:32and two new flatmates.
33:34Where are we, Paul?
33:35Our comedians were calling up former Taskmaster contestants
33:39with the hopes of getting them to say the phrase
33:41hippo on a log with a purple wizard hat on.
33:44We've seen Brie and Alice.
33:46Here's Jack and Pax.
33:48I actually think I might go for someone that will have no idea who I am.
33:52Who's not going to know me?
33:54I think probably a lot of people.
33:55Yeah.
33:59Oh, hey, boss.
34:01Hey, Josh.
34:01Can you do something for me?
34:02I just want to turn it on.
34:04Yeah, but I know you're on.
34:09He sounds busy.
34:12I'm going to try Paul Ego.
34:17Hello?
34:18David, this is Pax.
34:19What's happening?
34:20Hey, Paul.
34:21It's Timmy here from the Coast Morning Show.
34:23How are you?
34:24Thanks, Pax.
34:25I don't care that you just woke up.
34:26I don't care that you just woke up.
34:28I really need you right now.
34:29I'm going to ask you a question.
34:30All you have to do is give me an answer, okay?
34:33What's a big old African animal in water?
34:36It's big.
34:36It's grey.
34:37Yes, but I turn the lights off and you turn them?
34:46That's but bigger.
34:47Correct.
34:47Complete this phrase, okay?
34:49Huzz.
34:50Huzz.
34:51Yes, yes, yes.
34:52That's another word for a turd.
34:55A long.
34:56That but bigger.
34:57I'm going to go to the pools something my mum.
35:01Call my mum.
35:02Don't call your mum.
35:04Um, yeah, no, not really.
35:06You're sounding very legit, but you sound very much like Jack Antet.
35:09No, I'm not Jack Antet.
35:12I'm going to go to pools something my friends.
35:15Fun with my friends.
35:16What do you mean?
35:18I'm going to go to the pool excited with my friends.
35:22I think I called the wrong person.
35:24Paul, nothing in the task says I can't reveal that it's Taskmaster.
35:29So let's just get through this.
35:30Oh my God.
35:31You told me on my birthday, so my head's not really in the game.
35:34It's your birthday.
35:35Happy birthday, man.
35:36I'm going to go to the pool with my friends.
35:40That but bigger.
35:43I'm going to go to the pool without my friends.
35:48That's creepy.
35:50What's next to B?
35:51A.
35:52Yeah, stop.
35:53Shut up.
35:53Shut your f***ing up.
35:54What colour is Barney?
35:56Purple.
35:57Yes, it's kind of like that.
35:58What is Gandalf?
36:00Wizard.
36:01No, not at all.
36:03Witch.
36:04If I put something on my head, I'm wearing a what?
36:08Act.
36:09Correct.
36:09No, not at all.
36:10Sometimes I turn the light off and sometimes I turn it on.
36:14Paul, now say all of that together.
36:15If I want a lock with a purple wizard hat on.
36:19Put it all together.
36:21A purple wizard hat on a purple hippopotamus log.
36:28Yes, yes, yes.
36:29But do it in order of what we started with.
36:33Hippo.
36:36A purple wizard hat on a hippopotamus.
36:39I'm just going to take that.
36:43It's mine.
36:50Pax, did you see the season where David Koryos was on Taskmaster?
36:54Not only did I see the season, I'm friends with David Koryos and knew that it was a mistake from the beginning.
37:01We're two individuals where English was our second language.
37:05When it comes to you guys, I don't think that's the issue.
37:07Jack, why did you pretend to be Timmy from the Coast Morning Show?
37:15I thought that he would be less likely to hang up if he thought it was a game on live radio.
37:21Pretty clever, right?
37:23He was doing a game, but on a TV show.
37:26Yeah.
37:27Why are we picking this apart?
37:28I don't think you're comfortable in your own skin.
37:32I don't think you're comfortable in being who you are.
37:35I don't think you've found the real Jack Anset yet.
37:37Jackie, you're the one wearing a wig.
37:39What are you talking about?
37:40How dare you?
37:41That's a real hair.
37:42That's a real hair.
37:43That's a real hair.
37:44How dare you, Jack?
37:44Oh, I'm so sorry.
37:45That's a real hair, Jack.
37:46That is not okay, Jack.
37:48I'm so sorry for presenting.
37:50I have been called old and waxy today.
37:54And now you accuse me of wearing a wig?
37:57I'm sorry, it's just very shiny.
37:59Get on your knees and apologise, Jack, now.
38:01Okay.
38:02Do it.
38:02Get on your knees.
38:03On your knees.
38:05And apologise.
38:07Tessa, stay.
38:08Don't touch my shoes.
38:10I'm really happy this has overshadowed how shit I was.
38:13Oh, Pax, we remember.
38:15We remember, mate.
38:17Well, hold on, because there's one person left.
38:20Calling in the army of Madeline Sarmie, it's Jackie Van Beek.
38:24Hello.
38:27Hi, Mads.
38:28It's Jackie.
38:29Hi, mate.
38:29How are you?
38:30I'm really good.
38:31Yes, but I'm on Taskmaster, and I need you to help me out a little.
38:38Just say these words as I spell them.
38:40H-I-P-P-O.
38:41P-O.
38:42That's but, but, bigger.
38:44P-O.
38:45That's perfect.
38:46O-N.
38:47On.
38:48Yes, but next one.
38:50A.
38:51A.
38:52Yeah, it's kind of like that, but, yep, yep, we're going to keep moving on.
38:55L-O-G.
38:56Log.
38:58Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
39:00W-I-T-H.
39:01Wish.
39:02A.
39:03No, not at all, but, yes, we are going to carry on.
39:06A.
39:06A.
39:08Exactly.
39:08It's kind of like that, but here we go.
39:11P-U-R-P-L-E.
39:12Apple.
39:13Um, yep, W-I-Z-A-R-D.
39:16Wizard.
39:18That, but bigger voice even.
39:20This is so great.
39:21H-A-T.
39:22Ah.
39:23Kits.
39:24That's perfect.
39:25And lastly, O-N.
39:27On.
39:29Yes, but I couldn't have imagined anything better.
39:32That's it, and I'll give you a call later to catch up.
39:34Love you.
39:34Bye.
39:35Nailed it.
39:36Yeah.
39:39Seeing someone spell out the words, such an obviously good strategy.
39:42I can't believe no one else thought of it.
39:44I can't spell or else I would have done it.
39:46I don't know if I've said this on the show before, but I did an undergrad BA at Victoria
39:50University majoring in English, specialising in linguistics, so something like that.
39:54No, that's definitely come up on the show before.
39:56It has.
39:57And also, Jackie, I don't have NCA Level 2.
39:59Wow.
40:00Okay, so how are we going to score this?
40:02Well, times first.
40:03Yeah.
40:04Bree, 14 minutes 58.
40:06But she did say one of the banished words.
40:09Alice, 5 minutes 48.
40:11Ooh, whoa.
40:12Very speedy.
40:13She did say two of the banished words.
40:16Jack, 16 minutes 40, and he said one of the banished words.
40:19Oh, yeah.
40:20Pax didn't complete the task.
40:24But he took 21 minutes and 9 seconds.
40:27So the time to beat is Alice's 5.48.
40:31Jackie took 3 minutes 57.
40:33Ooh.
40:33And Jackie was the only person not to say one of the banished words.
40:41Yeah, okay.
40:42So I think one point for everybody.
40:45Okay.
40:46Apart from Jackie Van Beek, five points.
40:48Okay.
40:49Wow.
40:49There we go.
40:49Wow.
40:51I'll take it.
40:52I'll take it.
40:52So join us after the break for the second-to-last live task of the season.
40:57And while you've got some time, why not call your friend and get them to say,
41:01Hippo on a log with a purple wizard hat on.
41:04How hard could that be?
41:05We'll see you in a moment.
41:08Welcome back to Taskmaster, the greatest show on this channel at this time in the history
41:25of the world.
41:26We're about to head into a live task, but first, I'd love a cheeky scoreboard update, Paul.
41:32She's storming away with it.
41:33With 16 points, it's Jackie Van Beek.
41:38Would you all head up to the stage, please, for the live task?
41:44All right, what's happening here, Paul?
41:46Jack Ansett, please read this task.
41:49Okay.
41:50Fan your ping pong ball around the race track.
41:55First to cross the finish line wins.
41:57You may not touch your ball in any way.
42:01If your ball goes off course, Paul will place it back on the starting line.
42:07What do you mean, off course?
42:09Like, do you see this course?
42:11Yeah, but so you mean if it goes outside of the thing?
42:12If the ball goes off it, then Paul will put it at the start.
42:15Okay, are you ready?
42:15On your marks, get set.
42:25Get out of it, Jackie Van Beek!
42:26Get out of it!
42:27Oh, God!
42:28Oh!
42:28Oh!
42:29Oh!
42:30Oh!
42:32Oh, no!
42:35Now's not the time to f*** it up, Jackie.
42:37Oh, Jackie, you cannot stand on the ramp.
42:48Don't stand on the ramp.
42:49I forgot!
42:50Where'd my ball go?
42:52Oh, it's over here.
42:52I forgot.
42:56Oh!
42:57Oh!
42:58I now see why there's a bench.
43:01Why there's a bench.
43:03I don't know how I ended up there.
43:22I can't believe they're still going.
43:24Okay, come on down, everyone, and we'll see who's getting the points.
43:34Woo!
43:37Okay, come and sit down.
43:40And let's score it, Paul.
43:42A frantic race.
43:44Alice was last, one point.
43:45Bree, second to last, two points.
43:48Pax managed to go off the side of the ramp and leapfrog from last place into third place.
43:52Three points for Pax, four points for Jackie, and five points for Jack Ansett.
43:57Wow.
43:58God.
43:59Yep.
43:59That means the winner of episode nine with 20 points is JVB Jackie Van Beek.
44:08Congratulations, Jackie.
44:10Your dream has finally come true, assuming that you had incredibly specific dreams about the other contestants.
44:15Please, go and collect your prizes.
44:17One more episode down, and only one more to go.
44:23But what have we learned?
44:25Well, we've learned never to rely on David Correos.
44:28And we learned job, job, job, job, job, job, job.
44:32But most importantly, we learned that Jackie Van Beek is the winner of episode nine.
44:37Welcome back to the season finale of Taskmaster.
44:57Marveling these five deeply weird human beings.
45:01Huh?
45:01We've seen them fall, and rise, but mostly fall.
45:09What the hell?
45:11Soon, it will be over.
45:12You can go on Reddit and complain about how I score things.
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