- 6 months ago
Category
✨
PeopleTranscript
00:00Oh
00:30Kia ora koutou and welcome to Taskmaster, the show that comedians say yes to because they're desperate to reinvent themselves, or in Jack Ansett's case, invent themselves.
00:46My name's Jeremy Wells and I am the Taskmaster.
00:52Tonight, our five comedians will be competing in a series of wickedly complex tasks.
00:57And for their efforts, they can win this, a beautiful rendition of My Bonce, a creation of which broke at least three of the Ten Commandments.
01:09And I would like to once again apologise to my neighbour's oxen.
01:13Tonight's comedic combatants are Alice Sneddon,
01:18Bree Tomasel,
01:21Jack Ansett,
01:23Jackie Van Beek,
01:25and Pac Sasati.
01:27And beside me, as always, is a man who would do anything for me,
01:33and I would do some things for him, provided I haven't got anything else on.
01:38Ladies and gentlemen, it's Paul Williams.
01:44What's our prize task tonight, Paul?
01:46Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in the thing that will be their downfall.
01:53What did you bring in, Jackie?
01:55I think, let's show the image.
01:57Okay, so unfortunately, there's little contrast in this image, but if you can see, it's a huge five-litre bottle of white vinegar.
02:10Now, I keep it in the laundry, but I also bring it to the dinner table and dress the salad.
02:17And it's like every time, honestly, I do it, I think, oh my God, is it bleach?
02:21I feel like the mushroom lady from Australia.
02:25Oh, don't point at me.
02:28No, you've got to take that on the day.
02:30It's just a moment.
02:30You have a similar vibe.
02:32Hey, I am not related to her.
02:34Bree, what did you bring in?
02:36I would say my downfall is going to be this game.
02:40There's people that know.
02:45I am currently up to level 12,048.
02:50Oh, my God.
02:55Not stop.
02:57Get your flowers.
02:58It takes about 10 minutes per level.
03:01So, that means I've spent 83.7 days of my life has been dedicated to this game in the last five years.
03:11Bree's mum is in the audience and she's just shaking her head.
03:15Okay, Jack, what did you bring in?
03:17I brought in printouts of all my toxic group chats.
03:21Whoa.
03:23If these get out, it's not just going to be my downfall, it's also going to be, well, I'll show you some screenshots from the Taskmaster season.
03:31Six group chat.
03:33Hi, guys.
03:33Can't wait for the studio filming.
03:35We should get dinner before it all kicks off, right?
03:37You won't believe this.
03:38Bree comes in with, can't wait to get away from those losers over at ZM.
03:44What the hell, you animal?
03:47I'm going to sue you.
03:49Yeah.
03:49That's not real.
03:51Alice then comes in with, the gender pay gap is real and should be larger.
03:57And two love reacts.
03:59I do stand by that.
04:00I am being paid too much.
04:03And then Pax went, um, TBH, I don't give a what the Taskmaster thinks of me.
04:08Give me one point.
04:08Like, I don't even give a single .
04:10I don't.
04:11And, um, and Jackie, Jackie's messages, we just straight up can't show on TV.
04:17So, yep.
04:19Alice, what did you bring in that's going to be your downfall?
04:21In fact, I've brought this.
04:23Yeah, that is a cauliflower.
04:24People who know me personally will know that this is a food that I am violently intolerant of.
04:31Whenever I eat even just a sliver, I am out for the count.
04:36And I'll be honest with you, violent diarrhea.
04:39And these guys can attest that at the aforementioned dinner that we had, Jack ordered cauliflower bites and I did not hold back.
04:48We are not allowed back in that restaurant.
04:51Pax, what did you bring in?
04:52Honestly, Jeremy, I cannot say anything about it.
04:56I just have to show you.
05:01I can't believe you've matched my skin tone.
05:04Yeah, yeah.
05:05My last year of high school, White Chicks is a popular movie.
05:09Yes.
05:10And, um, there was a Halloween disco.
05:13We actually won Best Dressed.
05:14We won Best Dressed.
05:16Thank you so much.
05:18I don't know if that's right.
05:18And I, in 2025, I regret doing white face.
05:22But also, crack up.
05:25Well, the white face is shocking a little bit.
05:28But it's more the way that you're biting your bottom lip.
05:31Yeah.
05:32Yeah.
05:33So how would you like to score this?
05:35Alice, one.
05:37Come on, a cauliflower gives you diarrhea.
05:39No, don't look at me.
05:40That's not gonna, I've got diarrhea now.
05:42Own what you've done.
05:43I'm doing the show.
05:45Jackie, two.
05:47Damn it.
05:48Brie, two.
05:50As well?
05:51Yeah, two.
05:51Because it's just distraction, isn't it, ultimately?
05:54Which leaves Pax and Jack.
05:56Yes.
05:57Both career limiting.
05:59I think Pax has more of a career to ruin than you do.
06:05So I think you should get four and you should get five Pax.
06:08Okay.
06:10I'm so sorry.
06:12Okay, by round of applause, who knows who I am?
06:16Okay.
06:17Okay.
06:17Okay.
06:17Okay.
06:18Okay.
06:19Okay.
06:20Okay.
06:21Oh my God.
06:22Okay.
06:23Okay, Paul.
06:24Okay.
06:25Okay.
06:25Why are we?
06:26Should we get into a task?
06:28It's time for the Taskmaster Ranch Redemption.
06:31Oh.
06:32Oh.
06:33Oh.
06:34I didn't do it.
06:35Where's Paul?
06:36Here he is.
06:37Wow.
06:38He looks so good.
06:39He looks dashing.
06:40It kills me that he gets to have a photo like that of himself.
06:41It's got a code on the back of it.
06:42Oh my God, it's an escape room.
06:43Well, we are in prison by the looks of it.
06:44I love these.
06:45Do you?
06:46Yeah, I like them too.
06:47Yeah, I like them too.
06:48Bust out of this prison.
06:49Fastest to get outside wins.
06:50You may not leave the lab until you've found the Blue Key.
06:54Do you always read the tasks like this?
06:55Yes, Pax.
06:56You cannot leave the house until you've found the Red Key in the study.
06:58Prison guard Paul will be on patrol.
07:01us to get outside wins. You may not leave the lab until you've found the blue key. Do you always read
07:08the tasks like this? Yes, Pax. You cannot leave the house until you've found the red key in the
07:13study. Prison guard Paul will be on patrol. If he catches you awake, two minutes will be added to
07:19your time. Your time starts now. Okay, let's do it. So we're finding the red key. The blue key.
07:24I'm gonna. Oh, shit. Okay, this is not gonna work well.
07:31You sleeping? Oh, yeah, I'll get that out. We need a combination lock. So we need a three
07:41digit code for that one and I'm just gonna grab it. So sexy when you just handle it with brute
07:46force. Oh, it'll be written on the desk like in school. Okay. Oh, oh. Okay, five. Five, four, four, six. Down.
07:56You sleeping?
07:57I'm thinking about mine. Oh. Back to sleep. I'm asleep. Oh. Okay, let's go. Let's go.
08:05Five, four, four, six. Yes. The in case. The pillowcase. Okay, yeah, really get in there.
08:13I can't really do much. I'm just, um. Yes. Two, three, seven. What have we got? Burner. Burner phone.
08:20I want to turn on. Under the bed, perhaps? Under the bed? Oh, there it is.
08:24What's that? What is it? It's a map. It's prison guard Paul's patrol route. This is the route he's on.
08:33Is there something down here? Is it in the soap? Is it in your soap? Oh, yeah.
08:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
08:46Okay, we can leave. I'll take the map. No, but we have to take the map. Where's the map going? Down, down, down, down. Break, break, break, break.
08:53Wait till he comes to the lab, then we have the... Oh, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out.
08:58Get back to sleep.
09:01Pex, you're touching life. God.
09:04He's going down the stairs now. If he doesn't come in here, he'll go outside for a bath.
09:09Okay. So he's going outside. Shh, quiet.
09:18I actually, I find it fascinating how people, particularly of, um, people who have less melanin.
09:26I find it fascinating how that community loves escape rooms.
09:31Yeah. Not so big with you?
09:33Not so big with our community, particularly because my dad was a refugee and the first 15 years of his life
09:38was an escape room. Um...
09:41You'd think you'd be great at it, then.
09:48Okay, so they still have to find the red key in the study and escape the house.
09:52But so far, Bree and Alice found the blue key and escaped their cell in 16 minutes and 51 seconds.
09:59Okay.
10:00Jackie, Jack and Pax found the blue key and escaped the cell in 4 minutes 19.
10:05Whoa.
10:06Whoa.
10:07Time now for you at home to be imprisoned by the shackles of capitalism.
10:10We'll play some ads and we'll see you on the other side.
10:12Go to Koto and welcome back to Kars Nasser.
10:27Right now we are right in the middle of watching our teams escape New Zealand's least secure corrections facility.
10:33Where are we at, Paul?
10:35So at the halfway point, the team of three have a 12 and a half minute lead.
10:41Now they must find the red key in the warden's office.
10:44Here they are, the Jacks and Pax.
10:47What is the question mark?
10:52Okay, so we need to work out what the spells may be.
10:54Let's take the first letter.
10:55Okay, C.
10:56Cup.
10:57Cup or mug.
10:58Cup.
10:59Or, or, oh come on.
11:01Mommy.
11:03Get back to sleep.
11:04I'm so asleep baby.
11:06So the question mark has to mirror that.
11:08Maybe it's what is the question mark.
11:10Is it the amount of letters in each word?
11:13Nudgum three.
11:14Eight.
11:15Ten.
11:16Three.
11:17Star.
11:18Light.
11:19Four.
11:20Get back to sleep.
11:21You can do this.
11:22Especially Jackie.
11:24Jackie, what do you have that we don't?
11:26Okay, I'm a linguistics expert.
11:28Yeah.
11:29It's linguistics, it's letters.
11:32I did do Shakespeare English in year 13.
11:34It's not like I'm completely...
11:36Shall I just call Jesse?
11:39He's really good at this stuff.
11:40Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
11:42Okay.
11:45Hey man, what's up?
11:47Get back to sleep.
11:48Alright.
11:49Where'd you get a phone?
11:50That's contraband.
11:51No.
11:52No.
11:53We just want to take selfies.
11:57Star.
11:59Stop.
12:00Oh, oh, I've got it!
12:01I've got it!
12:02Get backwards!
12:03Mug gum needs tin.
12:05It's ten.
12:06Oh, my God.
12:07Star.
12:08Oh, my God!
12:09I'm a genius!
12:11You're the smartest guy on this link!
12:15That is brilliant.
12:16So, it's POTS!
12:17POTS!
12:18The POTS is up here!
12:19It's up here!
12:20Yes, it is!
12:21Oh, it is!
12:22Oh, Jack's the weakest link!
12:24Oh!
12:25Oh!
12:26Oh!
12:27Oh!
12:28Oh!
12:29Go, go, go!
12:30That way, no, no!
12:31That way!
12:32This way, this way, this way!
12:33Oh, shit!
12:34I'm going to sleep!
12:35Oh!
12:36Oh, my God!
12:38You sleeping?
12:39Oh!
12:40Good sleeping.
12:41Oh!
12:42Okay, now we're playing the clear.
12:43We've got to get out of here!
12:44Let's just get to the cars!
12:45I want to see my kids!
12:46Let's go forward!
12:47Let's go forward!
12:55Jack, there was a real moment of team unity there when you cracked the code.
13:00Yep.
13:01And then you immediately started rubbing it in their faces.
13:04Yeah.
13:05I just want to let everyone know how long it took our linguistics experts to not know the answer.
13:12But can I also just reiterate to you, like, have some grace.
13:17Every time you get a win, you turn it and you, like, let it into the space.
13:22You love it in our face!
13:23They're going to say, we want to love you, you make it very hard!
13:27Okay, let's talk about some times.
13:29Yes.
13:30Their total time to get out of the house was 40 minutes and 32 seconds.
13:34Oh!
13:35Not bad!
13:36But that's pre the bonuses.
13:39So I caught them awake 14 times.
13:43Which adds 28 minutes to their time.
13:46Uh, for a total of one hour, eight minutes and 32 seconds.
13:49Woohoo!
13:50Yeah!
13:51Respectable.
13:52Yeah!
13:53Yeah.
13:54I hate it.
13:55Okay, who have we got next, Paul?
13:56Here's Criminallus and Penitentiabri.
13:59Okay.
14:00Freaky.
14:01Is this a, is this some sort of, um, phrase or something?
14:10Okay.
14:11What looks out of place?
14:14Those pots always there.
14:15Oh, for s**t sake.
14:16Have you ever known?
14:20Red kid?
14:21Red.
14:22I've always wanted to be someone's prison bitch.
14:27I'm so scared.
14:32I'm so scared.
14:33I'm so scared.
14:34Thank you, Bree.
14:35Thank you, Alice.
14:36See ya!
14:37See ya, Paul!
14:43Bree, is that the most fun you've had doing a task?
14:46I honestly had the best time.
14:49I just got confused because it was so easy.
14:54Okay, let's do the scoring.
14:55The team of two, they escaped the house in 22 minutes and 51 seconds.
15:00How many penalties?
15:01I caught them awake three times.
15:04Oh!
15:05Come on.
15:06For six minutes added for a total of 28 minutes and 51 seconds.
15:10Happy.
15:12So the team of two won by 39 minutes and 41 seconds.
15:15Great timing.
15:16It's nice to see the positivity too.
15:17Isn't it refreshing?
15:18That was really refreshing.
15:19That was really refreshing.
15:20I'm going to give you guys five points for that.
15:23Good vibe.
15:25The question is how fewer points do you give the team of three?
15:28I feel sorry for them.
15:29Give them two.
15:30That's good.
15:31Not bad.
15:32That's good.
15:33Considering.
15:34Fair.
15:35Fair.
15:36Okay.
15:37How has that affected the scores for the episode, Paul?
15:39It's very tight.
15:41In first equal on seven, it's Bree and Pax.
15:46Look at the weird feeling being ugly.
15:48Lovely.
15:49That task, Paul, has not filled up our allotted time slot.
15:52I think we should have one more, please.
15:54It's time to see how our contestants perform in the heat of the moment.
16:06Paul!
16:07Bree.
16:10You just woken up?
16:11No, I have just been regrouping.
16:13Oh, okay.
16:14You got a nail through your finger?
16:17Yeah.
16:18Why are you smiling so much?
16:20Did you believe it at all?
16:21No.
16:22Yeah, okay.
16:23Waste of time.
16:24Sweet.
16:26Oh, sake.
16:27Film an extremely climactic scene.
16:31Most climactic scene wins.
16:34You must use this prop.
16:36This being this piece of paper, I assume.
16:39No.
16:40Or the skis.
16:41The skis.
16:42You have 40 minutes.
16:43Your time starts now.
16:45Well, we're off to a good start.
16:48Okay, so immediately my brain goes to somebody hanging off the balcony using this holding on while having an orgasm.
16:55What's the orgasm about?
16:57Well, that's also a climax.
16:58Oh, okay.
16:59Have a lot of people done orgasm?
17:01My first thought is obviously sex.
17:04What if we recreate the moment at the end of the Titanic?
17:09There's not a more climactic moment than the big door scene.
17:13What are the dogs that go searching in the snow?
17:15Saint Bernard.
17:16Saint Bernard.
17:17So I'm going to need a Saint Bernard.
17:19Okay, that might be hard.
17:20Life is hard.
17:21Okay.
17:22I'm going to need a Saint Bernard.
17:23I was trying to think of like a big cliffhanger and there is something in my life that I actually think about quite frequently and I've never resolved it.
17:30And I think maybe if we filmed it documentary style and then I resolved it, then that would be the climax.
17:35What a cliffhanger.
17:36What were you doing with your finger?
17:37Oh, it's just a bit of fun.
17:38Trying to make him laugh.
17:39Thought I would get a bigger laugh in the room.
17:40Turns out, big mistake.
17:41No, that bombed.
17:42Yeah, it did.
17:43Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:44Yeah.
17:45Let's get into it.
17:59Her prop was an umbrella.
18:01It's Alice Sneddon.
18:03Lovely day on the mountain.
18:05Yeah.
18:06Shall we go for a hike?
18:07Let's hike up this mountain.
18:08Okay.
18:09Better pack up our umbrellas first.
18:13Let's walk up the mountain.
18:15It's a beautiful mountain.
18:18Hey, Kevin.
18:19Yeah?
18:20Have you ever thought we could be more than just friends?
18:24I've thought about that a lot.
18:26Kevin?
18:27Yeah?
18:28Do you want a kiss?
18:29I want nothing more than to kiss.
18:33Oh, my God.
18:34Whoa.
18:35Whoa.
18:36Whoa.
18:37I think it's erupting.
18:38Oh, my God.
18:39I am erupting.
18:40Gross.
18:41No.
18:42We've got to get out of here.
18:43I can't go right now.
18:44Whoa.
18:45Whoa.
18:46Whoa.
18:47Whoa.
18:48Whoa.
18:49Whoa.
18:50Whoa.
18:51Whoa.
18:52Whoa.
18:53Whoa.
18:54Whoa.
18:55Whoa.
18:56Whoa.
18:57Whoa.
18:58Whoa.
18:59Whoa.
19:00Whoa.
19:01Whoa.
19:02Whoa.
19:03Whoa.
19:04Whoa.
19:05Whoa.
19:06Whoa.
19:07The love of my life killed by the lava because he was climaxing sexually.
19:15Happy with that?
19:16Not really.
19:17Not really.
19:24So did the guy jizz or did the mountain jizz?
19:26Yeah.
19:27Well, isn't that interesting? Or is the mountain a metaphor?
19:30I think where it fell down slightly was the energy of vocal performance.
19:34Well, we all know that's not my strength, but you keep putting me in these positions.
19:39Can we hear you try and do two different voices?
19:42Yep, this is my first one.
19:44Yep.
19:45This is my second.
19:47Okay, who's next?
19:50Now to the Swiss Alps, where the slopes are steep and the Swiss accents are undeniably authentic.
19:57Her prop was a set of skis. It's Jackie Van Beek.
20:01Harry! For God's sake, where are you?
20:05Hello there, ma'am. I'm from searching the rescue. How can I help you today?
20:10I was meant to meet my secret lover Harry here up on top of this magnificent Alp.
20:15But he's four days late and I'm sick with worry.
20:18There was that terrible avalanche on Tuesday.
20:22But all the snow has melted. I mean, where could he possibly be?
20:25Well, no, not all the snow has melted. There is a small patch at the bottom of the hill.
20:30What's that strange beast sniffing around for down there?
20:36That's my St. Bernard.
20:38I'm gonna have to go down there. I'm gonna need to borrow your skis.
20:40Yes, ma'am.
20:41Okay. I'm coming, Harry! I'm coming, Harry!
20:48Don't go too fast.
20:50I need a spade!
20:52Here's the spade. I'll bring it down.
20:56Okay. Oh!
20:59Oh God! The snow!
21:01Oh!
21:05Harry!
21:07Nooooooooo!
21:11so what accent did you tell Paul to do I told you to do a kind of pan scando kind of as you
21:27see fit it was more Scottish I thought yeah interesting heritage at one point you dipped
21:33into my Persian uncle so accent-wise well it's time for what we call in the business a cliffhanger
21:42we'll see you in a moment
21:43welcome back to Taskmaster for the break we saw a man drown in lava and another man die of frostbite
22:03who's bringing us our next blockbuster climax Paul the back 90% of your seats will not be necessary
22:10for this one you will only be needing the edge of your seat his prop was some sunglasses it's climax
22:17Asadi Paul have you done it yet have you killed Pax Asadi the employee that I hate so much I can't do
22:30it you got a man the only way to get rid of an employee here in Aotearoa New Zealand is to kill
22:35them so you have until the end of the day yes sir Paul why are you doing this the boss said I had to
22:44surely he could just let me go not not from the balcony but just like legally no it was some weird
22:51world Paul I have to tell you something else what I'm in love with you you know how much do you love
22:59this job tell me look at me in the eyes or in the glasses look at me in the glasses and tell me how
23:06much you love this job man I love this job then I guess that's it then
23:13I just don't think it's a very good cliffhanger you should have cut it off
23:18sorry can I just point out Pax has done whiteface again I just don't think it's a very good cliffhanger
23:28you should have cut it off before you hit the ground and leave us all in the lurch you know like
23:46the task was not a cliffhanger yeah what it was it was it was the biggest climax that's what it means
23:52climax I would say a cliffhanger cuts off the cliffhanger doesn't give you the climax I know
23:58I'm working on my nice guy thing I'm happy to bow down and let you guys have this one hope you feel
24:01good three climaxes down three tragic deaths can we go four and four it's time to get real here is a
24:12tragic glove story from Jack Anset blood on my hands the truth told at last
24:21yeah okay um I'm just gonna um message him and see if he wants to talk yeah okay hey man random
24:33message can I call you to confess something from school sent you're probably wondering what this is
24:44all about I guess I'll just start from the beginning
24:49it was year two one day at lunchtime I was walking into the cloakroom Judah Watkinson he was drinking out
25:04of his drink bottle I walked past him and I I smacked the bottle and it knocked his tooth out
25:11there was blood everywhere and I ran I just ran I ran outside I found my friend Daniel I was like
25:17what do we do man this is gonna be the end of me I'm finished look at me Jack he said look at me this
25:22is what you need to do you say you were walking through the cloakroom through the toilet and your
25:26shoulder accidentally buffed the drink bottle you're gonna be fine he said so we go back to class we're doing
25:34now silent reading and eventually yeah Mrs. Royal she goes can I please speak to Jack walk outside into the
25:42cloakroom Judah is there blood everywhere and Miss Royal says Jack Judah says you smacked his drink bottle and
25:52his tooth came out is this true and I said no he's lying what happened was I was walking to the toilet and my
26:01shoulder accidentally knocked it and I say if you don't believe me ask Daniel and he pulls through
26:10he goes Jack was walking to the toilet and his shoulder buffed the drink bottle Mrs. Royal has heard
26:14all she needs to hear and she says to Judah stop making things up and go to the sickbay right now then
26:20she turns to me and says I'm so sorry about all this Jack now I go back to my classroom all my teeth
26:25intact and carry on with my schooling I'm just gonna message him and see if he wants to talk yeah
26:31okay sent I can't cover up this blood with this glove and take this blood off my hands till I hear back
26:44from Judah so slightly different tech here we've gone true crime documentary yeah so the climax would
26:56be seems like a cliffhanger yeah it's the same thing if that was the Shawland Street Christmas
27:07cliffhanger you would be like I cannot wait for January which then we would see the climax yeah
27:13you've muddled it all up there are courses you can do Jack's a smart guy and so what I think Jack's
27:23gonna turn around and say to us now is here's the text from Judah I would love that to be the case
27:34Jeremy Wells Judah has not responded to any communication yeah we know why okay who have
27:43we got next Paul the final contestant to throw their hat in the ring it's Brie Thomas L climactic
27:49that's like big moment do you want me to look up what climactic means yeah C-L-I-M-A-T-I-C it's gonna
28:01be something about climate change isn't it relating to climate I knew it you love to do
28:10this Paul where you make people think that it's one thing and and you know what I actually think
28:16the Titanic scene still works I love you don't you do that don't you start saying your goodbyes do you
28:27understand me it's Paul it's snowing it's getting colder we're in the Bahamas I know that damn climate change
28:36Paul oh there's hail Paul promise it was something great anything Paul promise anything look at me
28:42look at me promise that you'll put a multi on the Warriors to win the whole thing of course Paul you
28:48know it's gonna be our year Paul because soon there won't be any years left I think it's time to let
28:54go no I can just hold on no I think you should Paul don't let go Paul Paul probably could have fit on here
29:10it's quite a lot of room Paul he's gone incredible investigative work from you again Brie they're throwing
29:26them up and I just keep and so you ended up actually doing your original idea yeah right at work yeah there
29:34was hail there was snow there was what else did we have Paul there was a lot of references to the
29:39climate I will say mine was set in Guam which is at risk of rising sea levels you actually say Aotearoa New Zealand
29:45firstly Jack made a cliffhanger so even though I thought that was a great documentary it was really
29:55really good that's one point for you Alice yours was fantastic with the figurines but it didn't have
30:00anything to do with climate change so I think it's fair that you get two packs also didn't have
30:05anything to do with the climate but I thought it was quite a biting satire on New Zealand's draconian
30:11employment law yeah so I thought exactly so he gets three four points for Jackie because there was
30:18mention of the climate with the skiing oh yeah and then five points for Brie clearly because she
30:23understood the task we are going to take a break now which will give four of our comedians ample time
30:32to second-guess their reading comprehension for every upcoming task in the series we'll see you in a moment
30:38welcome back to taskmaster where five comedians are trying to win a cauliflower some vinegar
30:54and the ghost of pack society just to change things up a bit I would like a task please Paul
30:59sure thing Jeremy let's cram in one more
31:02hi Paul hello Pax Paul welliams it's Williams I'm the nephew of Serena and Venus
31:20hello Alice pst
31:24oh thanks Paul thank you
31:29this is a lot of reading sorry during the next task you will hear a countdown from 40
31:35the vase will fall from the shelf
31:38oh okay with 29 seconds left ping pong balls will fall from the roof and Paul will throw a tennis ball
31:48to you with 25 seconds left you will be asked to complete the maze on the blackboard and to spell
31:55the word task in semaphore what the hell does that mean semaphore you're just making words up
32:02the flag alphabet oh no the premier of New Zealand in 1874 was Sir Julius Vogel what's that got to do with
32:12anything why are you telling me about the premier what does that have anything to do with it and the
32:17second wire from the right will trigger the confetti the second wire from the right well it depends who's
32:23right you may not touch anything in this room until your time starts during the next task you must leave
32:29this room in eight minutes this is really really hectic your time starts now do you understand I can
32:36confidently say no this is actual insanity no you've done much semaphore before semaphore was my first language
32:46you know you go to school start speaking English and then you just kind of forget it
32:50and I'll come over here bang and we're done whatever this is leave the room please
32:56oh god hello Pax what's that hello Alice oh no there's another thing it's just the task I thought the last task was the task
33:19no that was just prep for the task oh man stop the vase from breaking avoid being hit by the ping
33:28pong balls answer Paul's trivia question spell the word task in semaphore catch the ball when Paul
33:34throws it complete the maze on the blackboard and cut the wire that triggers the confetti you may only
33:40cut one wire least mistakes wins you have 40 seconds maximum last line please no last line no because
33:54it's too much for me to process oh that was mad okay there was quite a lot to process there yeah so
34:05basically a lot of stuff was going to happen very quickly but we told them what was going to happen
34:11and gave them eight minutes to prep for it yeah which I thought was quite generous of you actually
34:15who are we going to see first I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jack Alice this is not going to be
34:22pretty your time starts now 40 39 38 37 35 34 who was the premier of New Zealand in 1874 Sir Julia Fogel
34:34who was the premier of New Zealand in 1874 Mr Vogel Paul full name John Vogel
35:02the next 10 9 8 oh my god
35:067 6 5 4 3 2 1
35:13yeah
35:16oh it's anti-climatic are you happy with that it's impossible to say
35:27Alice from you clinical use I remember Julius Vogel I did the maze expertly I saved the vase you caught
35:40the ball I call it was great so out of the seven things to do she missed the semaphore and she cut
35:47the wrong wire but the rest were correct so she got five out of seven
35:49wow wow
35:51that's unbelievable and what about Jack Jack stopped the vase from breaking he dodged the ping pong balls and
36:00he completed the maze if you're accepted well what about the seraphore
36:04he wrote um vammal
36:07who is up next Paul Williams it's Paxi van Breek
36:15your time starts now 40 39 40 39 38 38 38 37 36 35 oh my god it's like the hunger games
36:3132 32 31 30 29
36:36oh
36:40ha ha ha
36:4224 23 24
36:45ah oh shit I dropped it no
36:47who was the premier of New Zealand in 1874
36:53uh Vogel
36:55John uh John Travolta
36:57Sir Julius Vogel
36:59first name
37:00um shit
37:02five
37:03four
37:04three
37:05two
37:06one
37:07one
37:08one
37:09oh
37:10I did it
37:20two
37:21one
37:22two
37:23one
37:24I've stopped the clock
37:31it's the wrong one eh
37:33ah
37:35I think that went well
37:37and was the confetti in time
37:39yes
37:40and the semaphore was in time
37:41yes it was in my time
37:43I think I gave myself a new hemorrhoid cutting that wire
37:55you gave yourself a new hemorrhoid
37:57yeah to add to the others
38:00can I just ask the question my semaphores did I actually get two right
38:07yes you went ta
38:08two more if you went s and k then you'd be away laughing
38:12what was surprising was that Pax Asadi whose first language was semaphore didn't even try that
38:19didn't feel like I needed to prove myself in that context
38:24so that would mean Jackie and Bri both five mistakes out of seven
38:29Jack and Pax four mistakes out of seven
38:32and Alice only two mistakes out of seven
38:34impressive
38:35so that's one point for Jackie and Bri
38:37three points for Jack and Pax
38:39and five points for Alice Sneddon
38:42no stop it stop it
38:44right that's all for part four
38:47see if you can make a cup of tea grab some biscuits
38:50fold some washing
38:51and squeeze in a wee during the ads
38:53we'll see you after the break
39:02welcome back to Taskmaster
39:08now we've just got the one live task to go
39:10but before we get to that
39:12can I have a score update please Paul
39:14we currently have a three-way tie
39:16out in front
39:17it's Alice, Bri and Pax
39:22lots to play for
39:23you guys please head up to the stage
39:25for the final task of the show
39:27okay Paul who's reading the task tonight
39:34Bri
39:36take your time
39:37make the most unique noise
39:39the Taskmaster will identify which two noises sound the most alike
39:44the least passionate of these two noises will be eliminated
39:47last remaining contestant wins
39:50you must make your noise with your mouth
39:52your noise may not be a word
39:54you have five seconds to make your noise
39:56each round will have a theme that must inspire your noise
39:59for the final round
40:00the two most similar noises will be eliminated
40:03and can we clarify
40:04so we're not in teams
40:06this is just for the placement of the mic
40:07we freaked out because we were clubbed
40:08no you're not in teams
40:09thank god
40:10oh my god
40:11oh my god
40:12thank god
40:13okay
40:14the theme for the first round
40:16is Wednesday
40:17headphones on
40:19Alice Sneddon
40:21Alice Sneddon
40:28breathe
40:34Jack
40:40Jackie
40:41ooh
40:42ooh
40:44ooh
40:47tax
40:48Jeremy which two sounds were the least unique
40:58I think it's clearly Bri and Alice
41:00and who was the least passionate
41:02Alice
41:03You've been eliminated
41:05Well, it's quite hard to argue with that, isn't it?
41:11Round two's theme, Romeo. Brie
41:25Jack
41:27Yeah
41:31Enough, okay
41:36Jackie van Beek
41:47Packs
41:49Oh
41:55It's Brie and Packs and Packs is the least passionate because the other two were completely original so Packs is eliminated
42:03You have been eliminated
42:10You have been eliminated
42:12Oh
42:14For the final round, the two least unique sounds will both be eliminated
42:19Understood
42:20The theme is cow
42:22Brie Tomasell
42:24Brie Tomasell
42:38Jack Anobile
42:48Oh regrets
42:49Jackie Van Beek
43:03Headphones off please
43:05Headphones off?
43:06Yes please
43:13Jeremy, whose two sounds were the least unique?
43:16Brie and Jackie
43:18Oh my god
43:24Well done everyone, come on down and we'll score it
43:31Sit on down everyone and let's score that live task
43:35So one point for Alice, two points for Pax, three points for Brie and Jackie
43:40and five points for Jack Ansett
43:43There we go
43:44So Paul, where does that leave the scores for the episode?
43:50With a one point win on 16 points, the winner of episode four is Brie Thomassell
44:00Congratulations on winning a truly horrible collection of items
44:05Please go up and collect your fellow contestants and pending doom
44:11So, what have we learned this week?
44:14We've learnt the difference between a climax and a cliffhanger
44:17And we've learnt that when you're breaking out of prison, less people is more
44:22But most importantly, we've learnt that the winner of this episode is Brie Thomassell
44:26Thank you so much for watching
44:28Thank you so much for watching
44:30We'll see you next time
44:31We'll see you next time
44:32Yeah
44:33Oh shit
44:34Yeah
44:35Yeah
44:36Yeah
44:37Bums
44:40Bums
44:41Bums
44:42Bums
44:43Bums
44:44Bums
44:45Bums
44:46Bums
44:47Bums
44:48Bums
44:49Bums
44:50Bums
44:51Bums
44:52Bums
44:53Bums
44:54Bums
44:55Bums
44:56Bums
44:57Bums
44:58Bums
44:59Bums
45:00Bums
45:01Bums
45:02Bums
45:03Bums
45:04Bums
45:05Bums
45:06Bums
45:07Bums
45:08Bums
45:09Bums
45:10Bums
45:11Bums
45:12Bums
45:13Bums
45:14Bums
45:15Bums
45:16Bums
45:17Bums
45:18Bums
45:19Bums
45:20Bums
45:21Bums
45:22Bums
Comments