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Taskmaster (NZ) S06 E09 2025
Taskmaster S06 E10 >>> https://dai.ly/x9qmg0m
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00:00Pull!
00:02Pull!
00:12Yes!
00:14Oh, ma'am.
00:16Au revoir!
00:20Yeah! Oh, no!
00:26Ah!
00:30Yeah!
00:36Nau mai, haere mai. Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38My name's Jeremy Wells,
00:40and I'm descended from a man named
00:42Giuseppe Wells, who invented
00:44the idea of giving things
00:46points. He raised a
00:48family of point givers,
00:50who eventually produced me,
00:52the greatest point giver
00:54of them all. And thus,
00:56I was chosen to be
00:58the Taskmaster.
01:00We are just one episode
01:04away from finding out which
01:06of our five comedians will win
01:08this.
01:10A bust of my head made with
01:12asbestos and
01:14painted gold with 80% lead-free
01:16paint.
01:18But first,
01:20we have to find out who will win
01:22episode nine. So,
01:24let's get things started by
01:26introducing the comedians
01:28fighting for glory, or at least
01:30minimum embarrassment.
01:32the next two is
01:34cultural success.
01:36And
01:44as always to my left,
01:46he's the EA who's just okay,
01:48it's Paul Williams!
01:50What's the prize to us tonight, Paul?
01:56Great question, Jeremy.
01:57Tonight we've asked our contestants to bring in
02:00the thing that looks the most like them.
02:03OK.
02:04Brie, let's start with you.
02:05What's the thing that looks the most like you?
02:07Well, Jeremy, I think we can all agree
02:10that matching DNA is very close.
02:15So I brought in my dad.
02:20I don't know about you, Jeremy.
02:24I think we look pretty close.
02:26Did you just do this so you could make the show pay
02:29for your family member to come over from Australia by any chance?
02:31I have no idea what you're talking about, Jeremy.
02:35Jackie, what did you bring in?
02:36Jeremy, I was walking through a store a few weeks ago
02:39and came upon an object that literally took my breath away.
02:43It was like looking in the mirror.
02:45I can show you now.
02:46I mean, not only the physical form, I think,
02:52but also I do have a kind of emanating light
02:56that comes from my palm.
02:57When people are around me, they say they see my head
03:00kind of glowing with ideas.
03:02And so I think spiritually and physically, the perfect match.
03:07It does look like you would voice that character in an animated film.
03:12Pax, what have you brought in?
03:13Jeremy, baby, I really struggled with this prize task.
03:18I told my family I need to bring in something that looks like me.
03:20And my eight-year-old ran into her bedroom
03:23and she brought out her lion stuffed toy.
03:27And I thought she was bang on.
03:29And I said, can Daddy take that to the show?
03:31And she said, what will happen to it?
03:32And I said, well, if Daddy loses, which is highly likely,
03:35the other contestants will have to take it.
03:38And she said, no, Dad, I really would like it if you didn't
03:41because that was a gift from Grandma.
03:42So I've brought in this.
03:45Yeah, I waited till she went to school
03:47and I stole it from her bedroom.
03:49So you're putting so little effort into the prize task now, Pax,
03:53that you're outsourcing it to your kids.
03:54Yeah.
03:55I do still think it resembles me quite closely.
03:59Certainly hairy.
04:00Sometimes the most obvious things are the best things.
04:03Sometimes, not in this case, but sometimes they are.
04:07Alice, what did you bring in?
04:08You know, I'm a tall person.
04:09I'm 5'10", gun to my head, 5'9".
04:12But I recently noticed that I'm out of proportion
04:17so I'm all torso.
04:19Like, look at me on this chair right now.
04:21I'm like a head taller than everybody else.
04:23My legs are actually tiny
04:25and my arms are actually pretty small
04:27and my back's very wide.
04:29So naturally, I look like a frog.
04:34Just to get the point home,
04:36I've done a side-by-side.
04:43That is sexy.
04:44That is sexy.
04:45That's very, yeah.
04:46Get that spot on.
04:47Yeah.
04:48Jack, what have you brought in?
04:50I constantly get compared to this one person,
04:53like all the time.
04:54People are always like,
04:55oh my God, you look like this guy, right?
04:57And here he is.
04:59Yeah.
05:01We get it all the time.
05:02He's even here.
05:02Let's bring him out.
05:04We get it all the time.
05:06Oh, yeah.
05:07It's uncanny.
05:09God, speaking of all torso.
05:13The resemblance is crazy.
05:16I was so worried that you'd brought in David Bain.
05:18Me too.
05:19I was terrified.
05:20Yeah.
05:23Alice, I'll be honest.
05:25He was not available.
05:28I think we can get a few of the side-by-side comparisons.
05:30That's going to help me judge, to be honest.
05:32Oh, no.
05:32Can we have a look?
05:33Oh, here we go.
05:35Okay.
05:36It's clear.
05:37Jack, one point.
05:38He said he was a bit nervous about coming on the show
05:40because he's on his bulking off-season.
05:43So am I.
05:46Pax, two points for you.
05:48There's a similarity there with the hairiness,
05:50but that's about where it stops.
05:52Now, Brie, that's freakily similar,
05:56but I think three points for you.
05:58Four points for Jackie Van Beek.
06:01Old and waxy.
06:03Oh, waxy!
06:05Candelabra.
06:06And that's freaky, Alice.
06:08Five points for Alice Sneddon.
06:10All right, I'm ready for the first task of the show, Paul.
06:16You've got it, Jeremy.
06:17Not too hot, not too cold.
06:19This task is just right.
06:27Hi, Paul.
06:28Hello, Brie.
06:29Oh, Goldilocks.
06:32Goldilocks.
06:34Paul, do you like Goldilocks?
06:36I always felt like she was a bit of a bitch to the Three Bears.
06:39Like, it's their house.
06:40Yeah.
06:41Pick the right one.
06:43The right one will have a bear in it.
06:45Most bears found wins.
06:47You get one guess per section.
06:49You may not touch the items in any way.
06:52Great.
06:53Okay, your time starts now.
06:54All right, I'm ready to see some contestants.
07:00Try to find some bears, Paul.
07:02It's mama bear, papa bear and baby bear.
07:05And it's up to you to decide who is who.
07:07It's Alice, Brie and Pax.
07:09I feel like this bowl's too big.
07:11This bowl's too small.
07:12This one's just right.
07:13I think it's that one.
07:14I'm going to go this one.
07:15Big boy.
07:17Come on, Paul.
07:19This is not the right porridge.
07:21It feels like a bear.
07:22There is a bear in the porridge.
07:23There is a bear in the porridge.
07:27It's a good batch.
07:29Yeah, you like a little rolled oats, you little bitch.
07:33That seems unnecessary.
07:34Fair enough.
07:35So where's the bear in this situation?
07:37In the upholstery?
07:38Is there anything on the bottom?
07:39Nothing on the bottom, I can see.
07:41Let's go little guy.
07:42That one.
07:42I'm going to go that one.
07:44Oh, Paul.
07:45Paul.
07:46There's no bear in the chair.
07:47The chair does not contain a bear.
07:49Well, I'm going to pick that one because I can see the GoPro
07:51and I'm just hoping that is indicative of something.
07:54That one.
07:55This one.
07:56There's no bear in the bed.
07:58The bed does not contain a bear.
08:02There is a bear in the bed.
08:04Come on, Paul.
08:05Can I not touch the items in any way, but...
08:09I hope you feel really big.
08:12Red book.
08:13This little one.
08:14That one.
08:16Shit.
08:16There's no bear in here.
08:19The book does contain a bear.
08:26Too small.
08:28Too big.
08:29Just right.
08:29You're locking those?
08:30Lock it in.
08:32Then...
08:32Let's go little guy.
08:35Bull...
08:36sake.
08:37There is no bear in the shoes.
08:39The shoe contains a bear.
08:42What hat would you wear if you were part of the Merry Men?
08:45Gotta go feather.
08:45I mean, fair enough.
08:47Could you do a jig for us, Paul?
08:51It did make me merry.
08:52Made me merry.
08:54There.
08:54Lock it in.
08:55Don't talk to me.
08:55Don't look at me.
08:56Don't touch me.
08:57That one.
08:57That one.
08:58This one.
08:59For the f***ing sake.
09:03The hat contains a bear.
09:05I am the best person in the world.
09:07In what?
09:08Finding small toy bears.
09:11Let's go with little guy.
09:13That one.
09:14Lock in the slipper.
09:15There is a bear in the boot.
09:17There is a bear in the slipper.
09:19There is no bear in the boot.
09:20We ended on a win.
09:22And what do we do when we end on a win, Paul?
09:30Thank you, Pax.
09:31Thanks, man.
09:31Thanks, Paul.
09:32The right one.
09:37What?
09:38The right one will have a bear in it.
09:45Alice, just a wee bit too late figuring that out.
09:49That has to be frustrating.
09:51That, yeah, that was excruciating.
09:53So often I would go into these tasks and go,
09:55go on with a good attitude.
09:57Be light and breezy.
09:58Read the thing.
09:59Pay attention.
10:00Everything will go all right.
10:01And then the minute I see Paul,
10:03I just go into a completely different zone.
10:06At one point you said to Paul,
10:07you like a little role though,
10:09you little bitch.
10:11I'm just observing what I see in front of me.
10:15So the three of you sort of went with the Paxasati strategy
10:19of just vibing it out.
10:20Yeah.
10:21It was real frustrating and...
10:23You guys got so many bears though.
10:25Yeah, my vibes were good that day.
10:27Well, at one point you thought you were the best person in the world.
10:30Yeah.
10:31I still think that.
10:34How do we go in terms of the amount of bears?
10:36Bree, two out of seven.
10:39Alice, one out of seven.
10:41Pax, five out of seven.
10:43Wow.
10:44What the hell?
10:46Join us after the break for more frustrating last minute realisations.
10:50For example,
10:52I could have picked anyone else to be my assistant,
10:54but now it's too late to do anything about it.
10:57We'll see you after this.
10:58Kia ora ano.
10:58Welcome back to Taskmaster,
11:15the show that tricks its contestants with fiendish puzzles
11:18based on wildly complicated ideas like left and right.
11:22That's right, Jeremy.
11:23So far, we've asked three of our contestants to point to the right thing.
11:28Up next, it's Goldilocks and the one brunette.
11:30Hold on, so pick the right one.
11:33Oh, see, I thought it was a clue, like the right one.
11:36Is it always the right one?
11:38That is something that you would do.
11:40That is definitely something you would do.
11:41Pick the right one.
11:42Could be a double bluff.
11:44Pick the right one.
11:44Well, I'm not going to do that.
11:45Or am I?
11:46I'm just going to commit, I reckon,
11:50and do all of the right ones.
11:51I'm just going to go that one, actually.
11:54Porridge contains a bear.
11:56OK, I'm just going to see if my theory is correct.
11:59I'm going to guess this chair.
12:04Yes!
12:05There's a bear!
12:06There is a bear in the chair.
12:09That's interesting.
12:11This one has staples all round.
12:13It has been quite tidily kind of stapled up.
12:16I'm going to go this one.
12:18There is no bear in the chair.
12:22I accuse this of having a bear in it.
12:24The bear could be hidden anywhere.
12:26This is just a guess.
12:28This is a game for idiots.
12:30Yes!
12:31There is a bear in the bed.
12:32I am a genius.
12:33I am a genius.
12:34I'm going to go baby bear.
12:36Oh, man.
12:37There is no bear in the bed.
12:41Sorry, Jackie.
12:42The right book, the right book.
12:44The world of the children, because I love children.
12:47Yes!
12:49The book does not contain a bear.
12:53I accuse these Doc Martens of having the bear in them.
12:57So it's this one.
12:58The shoes do not contain a bear.
13:01Okay, the issue I'm having is that there's no logic.
13:05Okay, I'm somebody that kind of likes a pattern.
13:07I like a logic.
13:08There's no logic to where the bears are hidden.
13:11I mean...
13:11I mean...
13:12That one.
13:14I accuse this cowboy hat.
13:17Yes!
13:18Yes!
13:19Yes!
13:20The hat contains a bear.
13:25That one.
13:26I'm going this one.
13:27Finally, this slipper.
13:31Yes!
13:32There is a bear in the boot.
13:33Well, it's safe to say I nailed that, eh?
13:36Mm-hmm.
13:36So what have I learnt?
13:38I've learnt that there's no logic.
13:41No thought's gone into the preparation of this task, clearly.
13:44It's a task for idiots.
13:45So you figured it out, you then were immediately proven correct, and then you immediately chose
13:57the wrong chair.
13:58Oh, I think I worked it out, and then I thought, it's a double bluff, and then I forgot to check
14:04the old theory of the right one, and I completely went from my mind, and I just went by spinning
14:10madly in a field.
14:11Well, you said it yourself.
14:12This is a task for idiots.
14:14I'm scared to say this, Jack, but well done.
14:19Oh, thank you.
14:20That was good.
14:22Good on you, man.
14:23I think the best thing to do is just nod and say thanks.
14:27Oh, yeah, so what I'm doing, I'm just, yeah, keeping a lid on it.
14:30So let's have a look at the scoring, then, in terms of bears.
14:34Jack, seven out of seven.
14:36Jackie, three out of seven.
14:38Not bad.
14:38You should have got seven, but anyway.
14:40I know.
14:40So that means one point for Alice, two points for Brie, three points for Jackie, four points
14:45for Pax, and five points for Jack Ansett.
14:47Okay.
14:50So how is the scoreboard looking?
14:53Paul?
14:54Incredibly tight.
14:55Three of them are on six with a one-point lead on seven, Jackie Van Beek.
14:59Yay!
15:02Should we do a series score update?
15:04It's very tight between four of our contestants.
15:07And Pax is having a lot of fun.
15:11I'm just happy to be here.
15:14Out in first on 136, Jackie Van Beek.
15:19Okay.
15:21I'm ready for another task, Paul.
15:22Yes, sir.
15:24Our first task was simple, but this one is elementary, my dear Wells.
15:28Hello, Brie.
15:42Paul Williams.
15:44Hello, Jack.
15:44No relation to Guy Williams?
15:46No.
15:47No.
15:47How are you?
15:53Sorry.
15:54Ooh.
15:55Uh-huh.
15:57Detective.
15:57Detective.
15:58It's a good look.
16:02Right way.
16:06Write and perform an original one-minute scene to be included in an imagined musical about
16:12the life of Sherlock Holmes.
16:14Your scene must include a musical number and focus on his early childhood.
16:19And focus on his teenage years.
16:22On his years at university.
16:24On his life post-graduation.
16:27On his later years at death.
16:30You have one hour.
16:31Okay.
16:31Your time starts now.
16:33You a big Sherlock Holmes fan?
16:34No.
16:35Like, was he a real person?
16:36No.
16:37This, I like.
16:39I look like Pakistani Gandalf.
16:43Maybe his parents, one of them was having an affair, and he was the one who cracked the
16:50case.
16:51Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes.
16:55Oh, so much better when he did it.
16:57Watson.
16:58How could you deceive me, you dirty, dirty British piece of shit?
17:06Hex, do you think a British Sherlock Holmes would say to Watson, also British, do you think
17:17that he would call him a dirty, dirty British piece of shit?
17:20Well, in this imaginary world, Sherlock Holmes is Pakistani, and so he would, because, you
17:26know, 300 years ago they took us to their land to do work, and then they realised that
17:30was a bad idea, because we have weak upper bodies and thin ankles.
17:33Right, Paul, I am ready for Holmes, the musical.
17:39Curtains up.
17:40Light the lights.
17:41It's opening night.
17:42Act one.
17:43Here's his childhood through to his university days.
17:46It's Sherlock Holmes, as performed by Brie, Jack and Jackie.
17:52Oh, Mum and Dad.
17:54Oh, I am sad.
17:56Cause I just found out some bad information.
18:00I saw Dad, with his golfing buddy Brad, but they were getting different types of hole-in-ones.
18:11How dare you, son?
18:12I was on a run, when I slipped and fell on top of my friend Brad.
18:19I have proof, what say you, to these photos of you and your friend Brad?
18:30I'm sorry, son, that can't have been fun, to find out this big secret about me.
18:41Actually, Dad, it felt great, and you really gave me purpose in this world.
18:51Cause you were gay.
18:52Cause I was gay.
18:53I found my way.
18:54I found my way.
18:55I found my way.
18:56I found my way in this world because of you.
19:01Cause you were gay.
19:07I found them gay.
19:14Looking out the window, it's a Tuesday!
19:20Stuck in my room, no friends to play!
19:25Pressure of the world, off my shoulders,
19:28I don't want to be a couple of my already daughters.
19:32I don't want to be Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes,
19:38Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes.
19:43I want to work in the mines and make a decent wage.
19:47I don't want to be in this old man's age.
19:51I don't want to be Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes,
19:57Sherlock Holmes.
20:01I just want to be...
20:06me.
20:22Tick tock tick tock, I am a university professor.
20:26Waiting for Sherlock Holmes.
20:30All right, Gov.
20:32How do you wish to waste my time today, then?
20:36I read your exam.
20:38Yeah?
20:39Why do you answer every question?
20:42With just another question.
20:46That's a good question, Gov.
20:53He's right.
20:54I spend my life asking who, what, when, where, how.
21:06This is a turning point for me.
21:12Go for it, Sherlock.
21:14I may not make class today, sir.
21:17In fact, I may not be back ever.
21:19But thanks, yeah?
21:27What a journey through time.
21:28Wow.
21:29Okay.
21:30There's a lot to unpack there.
21:32So just to be clear, Bree, his father was having a gay love affair with his best friend called Brad.
21:39Yeah, his golf buddy Brad, and he figured out he wanted to be a private investigator.
21:44And he was snapped at a place called Gay Club.
21:47Very popular back in the 80s.
21:50So, Jack, you took over the teenage years, and just to be clear, Sherlock Holmes wanted to earn a decent wage working in some mines.
21:59Yeah.
22:00Yeah, man.
22:01It was Sherlock Holmes, homeschooled.
22:03It was your classic reverse Billy Elliot.
22:07Yeah.
22:08Ah.
22:09Why were you climbing through a window?
22:10So I was escaping into the skies, and I said to Paul, I want you to make it that I'm flying through the sky, but I don't think they had the editing budget.
22:17And then, Jackie, you were the only person who included dialogue in yours?
22:21I was absolutely obsessed with musicals when I was younger.
22:24I would spend all of my school holidays, like, listening to the cassette tape of Annie, and then stopping it and writing down the words.
22:30And then I'd perform the entire thing for my parents and their drunk friends.
22:33Yeah.
22:34I have to say, when I think of you, I think of musical theatre.
22:36Do you?
22:37Yeah.
22:38Amazing.
22:39When I think of you, I think of candles.
22:40Yeah.
22:42Now, before we get into the second act of this musical, it's time for a quick intermission.
22:45So please go purchase an overpriced beverage, use the bathroom, and then return for your seats.
22:51We'll see you in a moment.
23:00Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show that asks the question, what if you took something with the quality of poor high school musical and put it on the television?
23:15The answer?
23:16Six seasons and counting, baby.
23:17All right, Paul.
23:18I'm ready for the grand conclusion of Sherlock Holmes, the musical.
23:23We've seen the classic story of Sherlock Holmes so far, raised by a gay father, pining for the mines and dropping out of university.
23:32Now it's time for the later years of Sherlock's life.
23:35It's Pax Asadi and Alice Sneddon.
23:37We'll see you then.
23:38Job, job, job, job, job.
23:43I need a job, job, job, job, job.
23:47I need a job, job.
23:49Why is it so hard for me post university?
24:02I need a job, job, job, job, job.
24:06I need a job, job, job, job, job.
24:09I need a job, job.
24:11Watson, the officer will see you now.
24:19Job, job, job, job.
24:21I hope he doesn't get my job.
24:28I guess it's just a life of self-employment and independent contracting for me.
24:41Good afternoon, Holmes.
24:43How are we feeling today?
24:44Elementary question, Watson.
24:46I'm dying.
24:47I believe this paralysis didn't come on naturally.
24:50Someone, Watson, wants me dead.
24:54The clues were there all along.
24:57My good friend.
24:59Every time you check my chart,
25:01the poison slowly doing its work.
25:04A jealousy fills your heart.
25:06It's true I've always lived in your shadow.
25:09Always the sidekick, never the star.
25:12But now I'm afraid to say, dear Sherlock,
25:14you've gone too far.
25:17That's the cue to stop the music.
25:21I knew it was you, Watson.
25:22No one will believe you.
25:23Oh, really?
25:24There's one thing you didn't count on, my friend.
25:28What's that?
25:29I'm actually a Kiwi bloke from New Zealand.
25:34And everyone will believe me.
25:36Because everyone around the world loves and trusts New Zealanders for no particular reason.
25:42Like Taika Waititi and Steven Adams and for a while Jacinda, but then it went bad for her.
25:47Kind of.
25:48Not sure why.
25:49It just did.
25:50No!
25:51No!
25:52Watson!
25:53Don't!
25:54Oh damn we.
25:55How did I not see that coming?
25:56How did I not see that coming?
26:09Alice and great lyrics there.
26:10Job, job, job, job.
26:12I need a job, job.
26:14It is a catchy tune.
26:16It is.
26:17It's a really catchy tune.
26:18Job, job, job, job, job.
26:20I need a job, job.
26:22There's something in it.
26:23I will also say, in Alice's defence, the camera crew were singing that song for two months.
26:32Pax, it's not often that you see West End performers with the lyrics in their hand.
26:36I quite like the way you tried to make it relevant to a New Zealand audience.
26:41I thought that was quite good.
26:42Yeah, I knew that Kiwis sitting at home would see it.
26:45I wanted them to feel seen, so I made Sherlock Holmes from Gisborne.
26:50Yeah, I didn't think that Sherlock Holmes' last words were going to be, oi damn oi.
26:57Okay, so I've got to judge.
26:59Just, before you do that though, can I just say one thing?
27:02Sure.
27:03Job, job, job, job.
27:06I need a job, job.
27:07Found my way.
27:08I don't wanna be sure.
27:09I found my way.
27:10I don't wanna be sure.
27:11I don't wanna be sure.
27:12I don't wanna be sure.
27:13Job, job, job, job.
27:14So this is sort of the scene like, one day more in Les Mis.
27:18It's only one day more.
27:19That's exactly what I was thinking.
27:21Oh damn we.
27:22Oh.
27:23Okay, look, everybody was good.
27:26Alright?
27:27I liked all of them.
27:28But one point for Alice.
27:30What?
27:33Someone's gotta get one point, alright?
27:35Never before, after receiving one point, has it been more relevant to say, job, job, job, job.
27:41I need a job, job.
27:43Two points for Pax.
27:45Maybe just bit off a few too many plot twists at the end.
27:48Three points for Jack.
27:50Good song, catchy song.
27:52Yes.
27:53I couldn't quite understand why you were coming out of the window.
27:55Because it was a metaphor for flying.
28:00Jackie, four points for you.
28:02Five points for you.
28:03I like the spoken word part.
28:05And then I gotta say, very impressed with Brie.
28:06Five points for Brie Thomassel.
28:12I didn't know I had it in me.
28:14I am actually ready for another task now.
28:16I'd actually prefer it if this one didn't involve any singing, if we're okay?
28:19I'll make some calls and see what I can do.
28:21Hi, Paul.
28:22Hello, Jackie.
28:23Hi, Paul.
28:24Hello, Brie.
28:25I'm back for more.
28:26Good.
28:27We need you to do all the tasks.
28:28Yeah, sorry.
28:29If you could just keep coming back.
28:30Okay.
28:31How are you going?
28:32I'm good.
28:33How are you?
28:34Not good.
28:35What's up?
28:36It's been a really hard 20 months.
28:38Twenty months?
28:39Get a former contestant to say the phrase,
28:42what's up?
28:43It's been a really hard 20 months.
28:45Twenty months?
28:46Get a former contestant to say the phrase,
28:50Hippo on a log with a purple wizard hat on.
28:54You cannot say any of the words on the blackboard.
28:58Got it?
28:59You must let the contestant speak.
29:01Every time you speak, you must start with the words Paul is holding on his cue cards.
29:06Fastest wins.
29:07Your time starts now.
29:09How do I get hold of the former contestant for a start?
29:13The telephone.
29:14It's an incredible piece of technology.
29:16You can basically talk to anyone even if they're not immediately around you.
29:20Oh, look at that.
29:22They're all here.
29:23How am I going to pick?
29:24I love all these people.
29:26News without Google account.
29:33I'm assuming that's the hippo.
29:34That's the thing.
29:35How does that help me in any way?
29:37Doesn't.
29:38What have you been struggling with for the last 20 months?
29:44Just life.
29:47You know, I just have so much darkness inside me.
29:52Alright, let's see our new contestants make some of the old contestants say some words.
30:00Hip Hip Apotamus.
30:02It's Brie and Alice.
30:04People say Brinley Stent and I look very similar.
30:07Hello, I'm Bea speaking.
30:09Yes, but Guy, it's Alice.
30:12Guy, it's Alice?
30:13Yes.
30:14Is this Guy Montgomery?
30:15I think this is Matt.
30:16No, it's not Guy Montgomery, no.
30:18This might be the wrong number.
30:20Hello, Brinley speaking.
30:21Hi Brinley, it's Brie.
30:23Hey, kind of on the clock.
30:24I am currently doing a task.
30:27Is this a part of it, that it's the wrong number?
30:30It wasn't meant to be, no.
30:31Okay, Nat, this is with all due respect.
30:33I don't think you're the man for the job.
30:35I don't know what the job is, but if I'm not the man for it, then...
30:38No, oh, but now I feel bad.
30:39Okay, it.
30:40We're just gonna do it.
30:41Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
30:43Find something to write down.
30:45First word is kind of like rhino, but it's not.
30:48First word is kind of like rhino, but it's not.
30:52Okay, hello.
30:53The second word is not off.
30:55It's...
30:56On.
30:57Um, yeah.
30:58That's perfect.
30:59And then a really small word.
31:01A.
31:02It.
31:03First one.
31:04Yes, but that was correct.
31:06Like a version of wood, what would you call that?
31:08You'd put it on the fire.
31:09On.
31:10Yes.
31:11No, not at all.
31:13Okay, so I'm assuming that's yeah.
31:16Brinley, this is why I loved you.
31:18Think of a joining word.
31:20You'll order a burger and you'll say that.
31:23Fire.
31:24Oh, Jesus.
31:25Whip, whip, whip.
31:26Yes.
31:27Yes, Brinley.
31:28And then another single letter word.
31:30We've already used it.
31:31We're using it again.
31:32Yes.
31:34Okay, great.
31:35That's perfect.
31:36Now run through all the colours of the rainbow, but a basic rainbow.
31:40Yellow.
31:41Orange.
31:42Green.
31:43Blue.
31:44Red.
31:45Purple.
31:46Yes.
31:47Purple.
31:48Purple.
31:49Yes.
31:50What do people say about Harry Potter?
31:52He's a what?
31:53A turf.
31:54No, that's us.
31:55Take it real late.
31:56He's a what?
31:57Yeah, it's kind of like that, but also it's kind of like that.
32:01What do you put on top of your head?
32:03A head?
32:04Yes.
32:05Um, yeah.
32:06And the opposite of off and on.
32:09Say the whole sentence again.
32:11A hippopotamus on a log with a purple wizard's hat.
32:16Yes!
32:17It's kind of like that, but yes, Brinley!
32:19Come on!
32:20Perfect.
32:21Oh my God, Matt.
32:22I'm so sorry.
32:23I was such a bitch at the beginning.
32:25That's so good.
32:28So, first things first, Alice.
32:30Do you think Guy Montgomery would have been better than Matt Heath at that task?
32:34I mean, having scored both of them, I can honestly say yes, he would have been.
32:38Actually, he was incredible.
32:40I know he's a friend of yours, so kind of just keep that in mind.
32:45Did I hear you say the word purple there?
32:49I cannot speak to what you have or have not heard.
32:52She also said would, which is also a banned word.
32:57But Brie also broke the rules by saying rhino.
33:01I cannot speak to what you did or did not hear.
33:04Well, let's call it there before we call another former Taskmaster contestant.
33:08I wonder if we can spot any other former contestants in the following ads.
33:13We'll see you after this.
33:19Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five comedians are competing to win a soft toy and two new
33:34flatmates.
33:35Where are we, Paul?
33:36Our comedians were calling up former Taskmaster contestants with the hopes of getting them
33:40to say the phrase, hippo on a log with a purple wizard hat on.
33:44We've seen Brie and Alice, here's Jack and Pax.
33:48I actually think I might go for someone that will have no idea who I am.
33:52Who's not going to know me?
33:53I think probably a lot of people.
33:54Yeah.
33:55Oh, hey, boss.
33:56Hey, Josh.
33:57Can you do something for me?
33:58Yeah, I know you're on.
34:01He sounds busy.
34:02I'm going to try Paul Ego.
34:15Hello?
34:16David, this is Pax.
34:18Hey, Paul.
34:19It's Timmy here from the Coast Morning Show.
34:22How are you?
34:24I don't care that you just woke up.
34:26I really need you right now.
34:28I'm going to ask you a question.
34:30All you have to do is give me an answer, okay?
34:33What's a big old African animal in water?
34:36It's big.
34:37It's grey.
34:38Oh, hippo.
34:40Yes, but I turn the lights off and you turn them?
34:44Oh, yes.
34:45That's but bigger, correct.
34:47Complete this phrase, okay?
34:49Huzz.
34:50Huzzah.
34:51Yes, yes, yes.
34:53This is another word for a turd.
34:55That but bigger.
34:57I'm going to go to the pools something my mum.
35:01Call my mum.
35:02Don't call your mum.
35:03Um, yeah, no, not really.
35:05You're sounding very legit, but you sound very much like Jack Anset.
35:09No, I'm not Jack Anset.
35:12I'm going to go to pools something my friends.
35:15Fun with my friends.
35:16What do you mean?
35:18I'm going to go to the pool excited with my friends.
35:22I think I called the wrong person.
35:24Paul, nothing in the task says I can't reveal that it's Taskmaster.
35:28So, let's just get through this.
35:30Oh my God.
35:31You told me on my birthday, so my head's not really in the game.
35:34Is that your birthday?
35:35Happy birthday, man.
35:36I'm going to go to the pool with my friend.
35:40That but bigger.
35:43I'm going to go to the pool without my friend.
35:46That's perfect.
35:49What's next to B?
35:51A.
35:52Yeah, stop.
35:53Shut up.
35:54Shut your **** up.
35:55What?
35:56The colour of Barney.
35:57Bevel.
35:58Yes, it's kind of like that.
35:59What is Gandalf?
36:00Wizard.
36:01No, not at all.
36:03Witch.
36:05If I put something on my head, I'm wearing a what?
36:08X.
36:09Correct.
36:10No, not at all.
36:11Sometimes I turn the light off and sometimes I turn it on.
36:14Oh, now say all of that together.
36:16Hippo on a log with a purple wizard hand on.
36:19Yeah.
36:20Put it all together.
36:21A purple wizard hand on a purple hippopotamus log.
36:28Yes, yes, yes, but do it in order of what we started with.
36:33Hippo.
36:36A purple wizard hand on a hippopotamus.
36:39No.
36:40No.
36:42Just gonna take that.
36:43It's mine.
36:50Pax, did you see the season where David Koryos was on Taskmaster?
36:55Not only did I see the season, I'm friends with David Koryos and knew that it was a mistake from the beginning.
37:00We're two individuals where English was our second language.
37:05When it comes to you guys, I don't think that's the issue.
37:09Jack, why did you pretend to be Timmy from the Coast Morning Show?
37:14I thought that he would be less likely to hang up if he thought it was a game on live radio.
37:21Pretty clever, right?
37:22He was doing a game, but on a TV show.
37:25Yeah.
37:27Why are we picking this apart?
37:29I don't think you're comfortable in your own skin.
37:31I don't think you're comfortable in being who you are.
37:34I don't think you've found the real Jack Anset yet.
37:36Jackie, you're the one wearing a wig.
37:38What are you talking about?
37:39How dare you?
37:40How dare you?
37:41That's a real hair.
37:42That's a real hair.
37:43That's a real hair.
37:44That's a real hair.
37:45Oh, I'm so sorry.
37:46That's a real hair, Jack.
37:47That is not okay, Jack.
37:48I'm so sorry for presuming.
37:49I have been called old and waxy today.
37:55And now you accuse me of wearing a wig?
37:57I'm sorry, it's just very shiny.
37:59Get on your knees and apologize, Jack, now.
38:01Okay.
38:02Do it.
38:03Get on your knees.
38:04On your knees.
38:06And apologize.
38:08Don't touch my shoes.
38:09I'm really happy this has overshadowed how shit I was.
38:14Oh, Pax.
38:15We remember.
38:16We remember, mate.
38:17We remember.
38:18Well, hold on, because there's one person left.
38:20Calling in the army of Madeline's army, it's Jackie Van Beek.
38:27Hello.
38:28Hi Mads, it's Jackie.
38:29Hi mate, how are ya?
38:30I'm really good.
38:31Yes, but I'm on Taskmaster and I need you to help me out a little.
38:38Just say these words as I spell them.
38:40H-I-P-P-O.
38:41Hippo.
38:42That's, but, but, bigger.
38:44Hippo.
38:45That's perfect.
38:46O-N.
38:47On.
38:48Yes, but next one.
38:50A.
38:51A.
38:52Yeah, it's kinda like that.
38:53But, yep, yep, we're gonna keep moving on.
38:55L-O-G.
38:56Log.
38:57Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
39:00W-I-T-H.
39:01Wish.
39:02A, no, not at all, but yes, we are gonna carry on.
39:06A.
39:07A.
39:08Exactly, it's kinda like that, but here we go.
39:10P-U-R-P-L-E.
39:12Apple.
39:13Um, yep.
39:14W-I-Z-A-R-D.
39:16Wizard.
39:17That, but bigger voice even.
39:20This is so great.
39:21H-A-T.
39:22Catch.
39:23That's perfect.
39:24And lastly, O-N.
39:27On.
39:28Yes, but I couldn't have imagined anything better.
39:31That's it, and I'll give you a call later to catch up.
39:34Love you.
39:35Bye.
39:36Nailed it.
39:39Seeing someone spell out the words, such an obviously good strategy,
39:42I can't believe no one else thought of it.
39:44I can't spell or else I would've done it.
39:46I don't know if I've said this on the show before,
39:48but I did an undergrad BA at Victoria University,
39:51majoring in English, specialising in linguistics,
39:53so something like that.
39:54No, that's definitely come up on the show before.
39:56It has.
39:57And also, Jackie, I don't have NCA Level 2.
39:59Wow.
40:00Okay, so how are we gonna score this?
40:02Well, times first.
40:03Yeah.
40:04Brie, 14 minutes 58.
40:06But she did say one of the banished words.
40:09Alice, 5 minutes 48.
40:11Ooh, whoa.
40:12Very speedy.
40:13She did say two of the banished words.
40:15Jack, 16 minutes 40.
40:17And he said one of the banished words.
40:19Oh, yeah.
40:20Pax, didn't complete the task.
40:24But he took 21 minutes and nine seconds.
40:27So the time to beat is Alice's 5.48.
40:30Jackie took 3 minutes 57.
40:33Ooh.
40:34Wow.
40:35And Jackie was the only person not to say one of the banished words.
40:41Yeah, okay.
40:42So I think one point for everybody.
40:45Okay.
40:46Apart from Jackie Van Beek, five points.
40:48Okay.
40:49Wow.
40:51I'll take it.
40:52I'll take it.
40:53So join us after the break for the second to last live task of the season.
40:57And while you've got some time, why not call your friend and get them to say hippo on a log with a purple wizard hat on.
41:04How hard could that be?
41:05We'll see you in a moment.
41:06No, my.
41:07How can I?
41:08Welcome back to Taskmaster, the greatest show on this channel at this time in the history of the world.
41:26We're about to head into a live task.
41:28But first, I'd love a cheeky school board update, Paul.
41:32She's storming away with it.
41:3416 points.
41:35It's Jackie Van Beek.
41:36Would you all head up to the stage, please, for the live task.
41:45Alright, what's happening here, Paul?
41:47Jack Ansett, please read this task.
41:49Okay.
41:50Fan your ping pong ball around the race track.
41:55First to cross the finish line wins.
41:58You may not touch your ball in any way.
42:02If your ball goes off course, Paul will place it back on the starting line.
42:08What do you mean off course?
42:09Like, do you see this course?
42:11Yeah, but so you mean if it goes outside of the thing.
42:12If the ball goes off it, then Paul will put it at the start.
42:15Okay, are you ready?
42:16On your marks, get set.
42:21Get out of it, Jackie Van Beek!
42:26Get out of it!
42:27Oh God!
42:28Oh!
42:29Oh!
42:30Oh!
42:31Oh!
42:32Oh no!
42:33Now's not the time to f*** up, Jackie.
42:35Oh!
42:36Jackie!
42:37Oh!
42:38Oh!
42:39Oh!
42:40Oh!
42:41Oh!
42:42Oh!
42:43Oh!
42:44Oh!
42:45Oh!
42:46Oh!
42:47You can't stand on the ramp.
42:48Don't stand on the ramp.
42:49I forgot.
42:50Where'd my ball go?
42:51I was over here.
42:52I forgot.
42:53Oh!
42:56Oh!
42:57Oh!
42:58Oh!
42:59I now see why there's a bench!
43:00Oh!
43:01Oh!
43:02Why there's the bench?
43:03Oh!
43:04Oh!
43:05Oh!
43:06Oh!
43:07Oh!
43:08Oh!
43:09How did that happen?
43:14Oh.
43:16I don't know how I ended up there.
43:22I can't believe they're still going.
43:31OK, come on down, everyone, and we'll see who's getting the points.
43:34Woo!
43:38OK, come and sit down.
43:40And let's score it, Paul.
43:42A frantic race.
43:44Alice was last, one point.
43:46Brie, second to last, two points.
43:48Pax managed to go off the side of the ramp and leapfrog from last place into third place.
43:53Three points for Pax, four points for Jackie, and five points for Jack Ansett.
43:57Wow.
43:58Five.
43:59Yep.
44:00That means the winner of episode nine, with 20 points, is JVB, Jackie Van Beek.
44:08Congratulations, Jackie.
44:10Your dream has finally come true, assuming that you had incredibly specific dreams about the other contestants.
44:15Please, go and collect your prizes.
44:17One more episode down, and only one more to go.
44:24But what have we learned?
44:25Well, we've learned never to rely on David Koraos.
44:29And we learned job, job, job, job, job, job, job, job.
44:33But most importantly, we learned that Jackie Van Beek is the winner of episode nine.
44:37Welcome back to the season finale of Taskmaster.
44:57Marveling these five deeply weird human beings.
45:01Huh?
45:02We've seen them fall.
45:04Oh, then I've got my head.
45:05We've seen them rise, but mostly fall.
45:10What the hell?
45:11Soon, it will be over.
45:13You can go on Reddit and complain about how I score things.
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