- 4 months ago
Taskmaster (NZ) S06 E10 2025
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😹
FunTranscript
00:00Oh
00:30And welcome to the most important event in the televisual calendar, the series finale of
00:43Taskmaster. My name is Jeremy Wells and once again we find ourselves marvelling at these five deeply weird human beings.
00:50Over the past nine episodes we've seen them fall and rise, but mostly fall. Soon it will be all over
00:58and you can once again go on Reddit and complain about how I score things.
01:04Just let me say, I don't care and I never will, because I am the Taskmaster.
01:12And tonight we'll find out which of our five comedians will go home with this, the golden Taskmaster trophy.
01:20The other four will leave with nothing but memories that they'll never forget no matter how hard they try.
01:27Here to win my magnificent golden bust, for the last time please welcome
01:33Alice Sneddon,
01:35Brie Thomassell,
01:37Jack Anset,
01:39Jackie Van Beat,
01:41Impact Society.
01:43By my side a man who will gorge himself on nuts, berries and salmon, right after we finish this episode,
01:53and then go into hibernation until we start filming series seven, it's Paul Williams.
01:57Jeremy, what I've decided to do is a huge stunt.
02:01Jeremy, what I've decided to do is a huge stunt.
02:03Jeremy, what I've decided to do is a huge stunt.
02:05Jeremy, what I've decided to do is a huge stunt.
02:07The producers said, Paul don't risk it, your body is too fragile.
02:11But, I'm gonna do it.
02:13I'm gonna do it.
02:15Yeah!
02:20I need a run up.
02:35Wow and I'm not hurt at all.
02:37Is that it?
02:39Yeah, yeah.
02:40That's it.
02:41Is that all you need me for?
02:42Yeah, yeah.
02:46Wow.
02:49Thanks, Tom.
02:51Let's get to it.
02:52What prize task do we ask our contestants to bring in tonight?
02:55The best thing that rhymes with information.
03:01Okay.
03:02Jackie.
03:03I don't know if I have mentioned this, but I did an undergraduate degree at Victoria University specialising in linguistics.
03:11Did you?
03:12So for me, this is the dream prize task.
03:14Knowing that Jeremy is going to judge this on the purest rhyme, I have offered up this.
03:23Shin.
03:25Okay.
03:27So you've rhymed information.
03:29Yes.
03:30And shin.
03:31So you just cut the end of information off and then...
03:33It's like cutting a foreskin off and then trying to put it back on.
03:38Pigs, what did you bring in?
03:41I've brought my foreskin.
03:42No, I haven't.
03:44What I have noticed with you, old grand poobah, is that you like risk.
03:50So what I've done is I've actually put my marriage at risk.
03:52Oh.
03:53I've rhymed information with documentation.
03:57And I have brought my daughter's actual birth certificate.
04:03This is an interesting prize because it's incredibly valuable to your family.
04:09Deeply.
04:10But absolutely worthless to everybody else.
04:12Can I just point out, his marriage was already on the rocks before.
04:17And doesn't that increase the jeopardy?
04:20Literally, okay.
04:21I was leaving to come to Taskmaster and my wife said to me,
04:24you didn't take the birth certificate, did you?
04:26And I said, no.
04:28Alice.
04:30Well, Jeremy, I know you love Helsinki.
04:33So I've brought in a Finn vacation.
04:38So that's an actual ticket?
04:39Is that a genuine ticket?
04:40Yeah, that's a genuine ticket.
04:41It does unfortunately leave from London, so you do have to make your way there.
04:45How much was the ticket?
04:46Is that relevant?
04:49It was 29 pounds.
04:51Brie, what have you brought in?
04:53Jeremy, something I know about you is you're a feminist.
04:56And I love that about you.
04:58Which is why, what rhymes with information?
05:01It's the ultimate symbol of divine creation.
05:05Lactation.
05:06Wow.
05:09Wow.
05:11So is this your breast milk?
05:13That is a great question, Jeremy.
05:15I've got it here.
05:17You can actually buy anything on Facebook Marketplace these days.
05:22Sarah in Te Aratu, thank you so much.
05:26Cheers.
05:30It's sour.
05:31It's actually delicious.
05:33I love some.
05:34I'm going to have a home.
05:35Wow, okay.
05:37I'll tell you.
05:39Get in there, Jeremy.
05:41Get in.
05:43Oh, down the hatch.
05:48Mama.
05:50I feel like she's been eating dal.
05:53Jack.
05:55Yeah, do you know what a Lin formation is, Jeremy?
05:57No.
05:58I gathered a bunch of women called Lin, outside Lin Mall, and got them to stand in formation.
06:09There they are, there they are.
06:14Yeah.
06:16Very nice.
06:18Incredibly difficult to organise.
06:20So, whoever wins this episode takes home the Lin's?
06:24Absolutely.
06:26Can I just say that I am so deeply impressed with all of the efforts, but I do actually think if we're looking at monetary value for the prize, I mean the mannequin leg, £129 wins the...
06:37Jackie, you're getting one point.
06:38Oh, come on!
06:40Do you know how expensive divorce is going to be?
06:43It's going to cost me thousands.
06:45It is going to cost you thousands, because you've got two points for that too.
06:47Oh, no!
06:49Three points for you, Alice.
06:51I would have given you more points if you had a return flight in there.
06:54Four points for Brie, because I love a bit of breast milk.
06:58Oh, me too.
06:59I've got to say, the Lin's inspired.
07:01Well done, Jackie.
07:02Five points for Jackie.
07:03A beautiful record.
07:04Wow.
07:05A really beautiful record.
07:07And could we get a season score update, please, Paul?
07:10In first place with 150 points, it's Jackie Van Beek.
07:15But it's close.
07:17It's close.
07:18Okay, I'm ready for the first proper task of the last episode of the season, Paul.
07:23It's time to go pig or go home.
07:29Hello, Jackie.
07:33Hi, Paul.
07:36Ooh, arts and crafts.
07:40Oh, it's an egg.
07:45Protect the pig.
07:46You may not move the pig.
07:48You may only use one of the building materials on the plinths.
07:53Ah, I see.
07:54If you build with the straws, the big bad wolf will arrive in 18 minutes.
07:58Ooh, I like the sound of that.
07:59If you build with the sticks, the big bad wolf will arrive in 12 minutes.
08:03And if you build with the bricks, they're not even bricks.
08:06It's just polystyrene.
08:08The big bad wolf will arrive in six minutes.
08:11What are you going to do to the pig?
08:12I'm not going to do anything.
08:13The big bad wolf, though, I can't speak for.
08:20Jackie, have you had some experience with the big bad wolf in the past?
08:23Some kind of sexual experience with him there all day?
08:26No, I just thought...
08:27You seem kind of turned on by it.
08:28No, I'm a team player.
08:29I was like, I'd love me and the wolf to kind of do this together.
08:32I think maybe I got the wrong end of the stick there.
08:34Yeah.
08:35Okay.
08:36Should we have a look at them?
08:37First up, it's Jack, Bree and Alice.
08:40I'm probably going to go for the sticks.
08:42I'll go with sticks.
08:44The straws.
08:45Okay.
08:46It's been a while since I used a hot glue gun.
08:49Oh, shit!
08:50Ow!
08:51Try and avoid touching the glue.
08:52Ah!
08:53Ah!
08:55Ow!
08:56That one was hot.
08:57Worth it.
08:58Ah!
08:59You okay?
09:00Yeah.
09:01Just general pain.
09:02What's the general pain?
09:03Trying to focus on something really hard with you asking me really annoying questions.
09:06Ow!
09:07Ooh!
09:08Ow!
09:09We're going to go for a big amount across the top.
09:10What's this you're doing?
09:11Kind of creating a hot barrier.
09:13This has really not gone according to plan.
09:17Two's down.
09:20Right.
09:21Bring on the wolf.
09:22Don't move.
09:23I don't have a good feeling.
09:25This is terrifying.
09:28Big bad wolf ready for launch.
09:30Three.
09:31Paul!
09:32What is that?
09:33Two.
09:34You don't have to do this.
09:35One.
09:36What is that, Paul?
09:37Is it a water balloon?
09:38Yeah!
09:40I've never moved in the air.
09:42He's alright.
09:43You think so?
09:44I think he's just having a nap.
09:45Are you happy with that?
09:46No.
09:47Don't touch that.
09:48I was going to go bury it.
09:49You want to bury the egg?
09:50Well, I kind of want closure.
09:51You want to say a few words, Paul?
09:52Rest in peace, pig.
09:53I'm sorry that the builder of your house didn't build a more solid house.
09:57I'm in.
09:58I'm in.
09:59I'm in.
10:00I'm in.
10:01I'm in.
10:02I'm in.
10:03Thank you, Jack.
10:04You guys know the story of the three little pigs.
10:05The whole idea of the story is that the sticks and the straw don't protect the pigs.
10:06Is it?
10:07Oh my god, it is!
10:08Oh my god, it is!
10:09It is!
10:10The big bad wolf comes and huffs and puffs and blows the sticks and blows down the straw.
10:12I thought they all go down to the straw.
10:13I'm in.
10:14I'm in.
10:15I'm in.
10:16I'm in.
10:17I'm in.
10:18I'm in.
10:19Thank you, Jack.
10:20Alrightんです.
10:21I'm inТали.
10:22Thank you very much.
10:24And the quick morning.
10:26This is awesome.
10:27Thanks for watching.
10:29Thank you for joining us.
10:32Thank you so much, Ti.
10:34I'm blessed to be home.
10:36People have mine done.
10:37Thank you very much for signing down this video.
10:38Thank you, Robin.
10:40And with James, if you see what?
10:43It's over.
10:44You guys have my mission to remember the story.
10:48See you guys?
10:49Don't worry about you, we'll see you soon.
11:03Welcome, Mai Arnold.
11:04Welcome back to Cast Master.
11:06What are we doing, Paul?
11:07The contestants are building a house to protect the egg pig from the big bad water balloon wolf.
11:13Okay, who's up next?
11:14Aspiring architects Asadi and Van Beek.
11:17I'm going sticks.
11:19Oh, no, I'm going bricks.
11:20The bricks, purely because I would like to meet the wolf ASAP.
11:24Your time starts now.
11:26Six minutes.
11:27I wonder if I should just wait for the wolf and then do the task when he or she arrives.
11:32Um, that might be tough.
11:33Ah!
11:34This is hot glue.
11:35Yeah, yeah, that'll burn you.
11:38This is not good, Paul.
11:40I chose the wrong material.
11:42You've got four minutes fifty.
11:47Gah!
11:48Okay, it's turbo time.
11:50So is this turbo time?
11:51This is turbo time.
11:52How much time?
11:5333 seconds.
11:54Okay, what is this?
11:55A decoy?
11:56This is a decoy.
11:57That's right, I'm building a house.
11:58As soon as there's five seconds, tell me.
12:00What are you going to do in that last five seconds?
12:02I'm going to knock you out.
12:03Ah!
12:04Five seconds.
12:05Hands off.
12:06You've gone with your classic decoy house.
12:11Yep.
12:12Stand on the mat, please.
12:17Oh no, that's not a wolf.
12:19It is a wolf.
12:20It just looks like I've aggressively pissed my pants.
12:38I was like making it a sprinkler.
12:40Oh my gosh.
12:42Look at it.
12:43Oh, hello.
12:44You're fine.
12:45The pig is alive.
12:47The pig is safe!
12:49My pleasure, little one.
12:51The pig is safe!
12:54Feels good.
12:55Do you want to try it?
12:56The pig is safe.
12:58Oh man, really let it go.
12:59The pig is safe!
13:02Try it one more time.
13:03The pig is safe.
13:05So pathetic.
13:07Pax, is it hard when you complete a task so successfully
13:13and then you don't have any money to celebrate with?
13:15Yeah, it's a real let down.
13:17I'm also shocked that I did so well in that task
13:19because genuinely all I could think about
13:21was how like a couple of weeks before
13:23my wife and I were doing The Big Bad Wolf
13:25and Little Red Riding Hood's grandma
13:27but in the bedroom.
13:29Wow.
13:31That's like a variation of our usual
13:33which is refugee and UN agent.
13:35That's what we need.
13:36That's hot.
13:37That's hot.
13:38That's hot though.
13:39That's hot.
13:40That is hot, okay.
13:41My application is usually denied but um...
13:43Yeah, I bet it is.
13:45So we've got Jackie and Pax both saved the pig
13:48and then obviously Alice, Brie and Jack killed the pig.
13:52I think you guys still deserve some points
13:54because you built a structure
13:55and I think the structures were quite good.
13:57I reckon two points for Alice,
13:59two points for Brie, two points for Jack
14:01and I think five points for Jackie,
14:03five points for Pax.
14:04Five points for Pax.
14:05Nice.
14:06Very nice.
14:07We'll take that.
14:08So good time to have some episode scores
14:10I reckon about now.
14:11In first equal, it's Jack Ansett and Pax Asadi.
14:15A boy's note.
14:16Wow.
14:17How about another task, Paul?
14:19Sure thing, Jeremy.
14:20This scat C Attilet Richty.
14:23Hi, Paul.
14:24Hello, Jackie.
14:25You sent me over there so I could walk this way.
14:26Don't bring that up.
14:27Okay.
14:28Hi, Paul.
14:29Oh.
14:30Oh.
14:31Hold on.
14:32What?
14:33It's on the other side.
14:34Brag a flea.
14:35Set fast as NW.
14:36Don't know what that means.
14:37R U item dart set hewn oi depone hit stack.
14:38Huh?
14:39What in the world?
14:40Uh, okay.
14:41I'm gonna give that a strong pass.
14:42No thank you.
14:43What?
14:44Not interested in what?
14:45Don't know what it means.
14:46Oh.
14:47Hold on.
14:48What?
14:49It's on the other side.
14:50Brag a flea.
14:51Set fast as NW.
14:53Don't know what that means.
14:54R U item dart set hewn oi depone hit stack.
15:01Huh?
15:02What in the world?
15:03Uh, okay.
15:05I'm gonna give that a strong pass.
15:07No thank you.
15:08What?
15:09Not interested.
15:10Not interested in what?
15:11It's...
15:12lunch.
15:17Glad you weren't cracking codes for us in World War 2 Jackie.
15:19Just give it a strong pass.
15:21Let's go for lunch.
15:22I was completely bamboozled.
15:23And I still can't remember whether I worked it out.
15:25The success you've had by not understanding ever what's going on is astonishing.
15:33Okay.
15:34Who's up first?
15:35It's our team of three working at their best individually.
15:38It's Jack, Jackie and Pax.
15:41Oi depone hit stack.
15:44What the hell?
15:45I don't know what any of the words mean.
15:48You're just gonna stare at me?
15:49Yes.
15:50Okay, well I'm just gonna stare at you until you help me.
15:52Because you're um, you're my assistant aren't you?
15:54I'm the taskmaster's assistant.
15:55But you're kind of also my assistant.
15:57Not at all.
15:58Is this some kind of like cryptic thing that I have to figure out?
16:01It's a puzzle.
16:02Yeah?
16:03Oh, okay.
16:04Maybe every word is just muddled up.
16:06That might be it.
16:07What if I change around the letters?
16:09Okay, let's change around the letters.
16:10It's gonna be grab.
16:11Grab.
16:12So I think it's grab a...
16:16Grab a flea.
16:18Grab a leaf.
16:19Leaf.
16:20Grab a leaf.
16:21Grab a leaf.
16:22Oh my god, I'm getting this.
16:23Oh my god.
16:24Fastest wins.
16:26F***.
16:27Wait, there's more though.
16:28Your time started when you opened the...
16:37Come with me, Paul.
16:42I've stopped the clock.
16:46Is that a leaf?
16:47Yeah.
16:48Stop the clock.
16:49I have a leaf.
16:50I've stopped the clock.
16:51Why?
16:53Because you've completed the task.
16:56Are you serious?
16:57Yeah.
17:02Jackie, it all makes sense now.
17:04So you thought Paul was your assistant all along?
17:06Yeah.
17:07And you must have been really annoyed at him this whole series.
17:10Well, yeah.
17:11I mean, I found him very, like, back and kind of reserved.
17:14Unhelpful.
17:15Yeah.
17:16Pax, when you figured it out,
17:17instead of sort of running and doing it,
17:18you just sort of took Paul for a little stroll, I noticed.
17:21Yeah, well, these guys, I think they continued to read,
17:23and I just saw grab a leaf,
17:25and I didn't realise that it was a time constraint,
17:27so I thought we'd just go for a little wee walk to a tree.
17:31In terms of timers?
17:32Pax, 3 minutes 19.
17:34Wow.
17:35Jackie, 2 minutes 37.
17:37Wow.
17:38Whoa.
17:39Jack, 2 minutes 23.
17:41No way.
17:42There's no way.
17:43What the hell?
17:44Okay.
17:45What?
17:46What did I do?
17:48We'll be right back after these very direct messages,
17:53begging you to purchase something.
17:55We'll see you soon.
17:56APPLAUSE
18:09No, my animal.
18:10Welcome back to Taskmaster,
18:11where our comedians are battling it out for a holiday four of them can't use.
18:15What's going on, Paul?
18:16Our contestants just have to grab a leaf.
18:19Unfortunately, there was a mix-up at the Task Printing Factory,
18:22and the words got scrambled.
18:24Okay.
18:25You know, you can't trust child labour.
18:27Next up, trying to unjumble the words,
18:31it's Reeb and Celia.
18:33Is it just that the words are mixed up?
18:35So what could brag turn into be?
18:38Grab?
18:39Ooh.
18:40Grab a something.
18:41Can I borrow your phone?
18:42I don't have a phone.
18:43Have you got Wi-Fi?
18:44No.
18:45You've got 4G?
18:46What do you want me to look at?
18:47Just Google.
18:48Brag a flea.
18:49Actually, can you open chat GBT?
18:50What could flea turn into be?
18:52F-E.
18:55We'll leave that one.
18:56Grab a something.
18:57What are you going to do to that one?
18:58Just leaving that one for now,
19:00because I can't figure it out.
19:01Leave it.
19:02So you're still trying to Google?
19:04I've never felt more like my parents.
19:08My mum.
19:09I wish I could call my mum.
19:10What would your mum say?
19:11She does these word games every day.
19:13Can I have my tablet back, please?
19:15No.
19:24Come on, mum.
19:27Your call has been forwarded.
19:28Thank you a lot, mum!
19:30Brag a flea.
19:31Do you think I put the things round in a different order?
19:35F-E-L-A.
19:38Fella?
19:39Grab a fella.
19:40Grab a leaf.
19:42Grab a leaf.
19:44F-E-A-L?
19:47What's that?
19:48Grab a feel.
19:49Come here, Paul!
19:51Come here, Paul!
19:56It's not that.
19:57Okay.
19:58Fastest wins.
20:03L-E-A-F.
20:05Leaf!
20:06Grab a leaf!
20:10Stop the clock.
20:11Got it!
20:12Dear Mum.
20:14Thanks for answering.
20:17Not send.
20:25Is your mother screen a lot of your calls, Brie?
20:27Um, in fairness to her, it's a good decision,
20:30because most of the time they're prank calls.
20:32So, Alice, you Googled the saying, because you thought maybe that Paul had got it from the internet?
20:39I don't know what happened there.
20:42I watch that and I don't recognise the person.
20:46I do.
20:50Well, you don't know your times yet.
20:52Mmm.
20:53And sometimes the end visual can be deceiving.
20:57Paul, Paul, you wouldn't say something like that to me, if you didn't mean it.
21:01What was Alice's time, Paul?
21:02Alice was 8 minutes 48.
21:05And Brie, 13 minutes 42.
21:11That's a lot, Mum!
21:13So that's one point for Brie, two points for Alice, three points for Pax, four points for Jackie, and five points for Jack Ansett.
21:20Wow.
21:22Okay, I am ready for another task.
21:24It's our last task from The Beautiful Rainbow's End.
21:27And in this one, things could get a little bit bumpy.
21:41Oh.
21:42Paul?
21:44No, Paul.
21:46That makes me nervous in my funny places.
21:51Oh, I ripped it.
21:53Bump Paul's boat.
21:55Paul?
21:58Okay, that's Paul.
21:59Fastest to bump Paul's boat wins.
22:02Your time starts...
22:03When you hear the horn.
22:05Oh, this is gonna be fun!
22:06I don't know how to drive one of these things!
22:09Alrighty, Paul!
22:11Oh, shit.
22:12Oh, Jesus!
22:14Okay.
22:15I don't know how to work this thing.
22:19Wow.
22:21That seems like some fun for the last film task of the season.
22:24Oh, yeah.
22:25I can smell the chlorine and I can smell the two-stroke.
22:28This task fills me with dread.
22:31Yeah.
22:32Who are we gonna see first?
22:33She was born to sail the seas.
22:36It's Breeze Thomas Ale.
22:39Are you ready to be my little bitch?
22:41Not at all.
22:42Yeah!
22:43Polly, Polly, Polly, Polly!
22:44Yeah!
22:45Polly, Polly, Polly!
22:47Paul, I've got something to tell ya!
22:49Let's make a deal.
22:50I'll give you 50 months if you let me bump you.
22:54This is tempting.
22:55How long do I have to stay still for?
22:57I'm gonna say at least two minutes.
22:59Is that a deal?
23:00Yeah, we got a deal.
23:02Woo!
23:03I got it!
23:04I wanna get this done, Paul.
23:05My crotch is getting wet and not in a good way.
23:09That is not staying still, Paul!
23:11What was that?
23:13I got you now, Polly!
23:16Oh, you bastards.
23:17Paul, what happened to our deal?
23:19Now my bumper boat's on the piss.
23:22Paul, I'm gonna get back in the boat.
23:23You should come back down here.
23:24I'll think about it.
23:29Come on, Polly!
23:32Oh, my God!
23:35You're gonna leave me at it, Paul!
23:39You left me in.
23:40Oh, I am here!
23:42No!
23:44Yes!
23:47Take it home, Polly.
23:48Hold on!
23:49Don't touch it now.
23:50You're asleep.
23:51I'm taking arms in a lot, Aspen.
23:57That's a bull!
24:00It's not...
24:01It's not bull!
24:03It's not bull!
24:04It's not bull!
24:06It's not bull!
24:07It's not bull!
24:08It's not bull!
24:09It's not bull!
24:10It's not bull!
24:11It's not bull!
24:12It's not bull!
24:13It's not bull!
24:14It's not bull!
24:15It's not bull!
24:16It's not bull!
24:17It's not bull!
24:18It's not bull!
24:19It's not bull!
24:20It's not bull!
24:21It's not bull!
24:22It's not bull!
24:23It's not bull!
24:24It's not bull!
24:25It's not bull!
24:26It's not bull!
24:27It's not bull!
24:28It's not bull!
24:29It's not bull!
24:30It's not bull!
24:31It's not bull!
24:32It's not bull!
24:33It's not bull!
24:34It's not bull!
24:35It's not bull!
24:36It's not bull!
24:37It's not bull!
24:38I was in there for ages.
24:51Oh my god.
24:53Phenomenal camouflage, Paul.
24:55Very impressive.
24:56This must have been a frustrating task, Bree.
24:59Honestly, this one nearly broke me.
25:01you and your whole family, Paul.
25:03At one point you got out of the boat.
25:07But you had no plan of how you were going to get back in.
25:11And the boat was just spinning around and around.
25:14I will say, we did make a deal.
25:16You said you...
25:18Oh.
25:20You said you'd give me, I think, $50 if I stayed still for a bit.
25:28Come and see me after the show.
25:31Okay, in terms of timing, Paul?
25:3320 minutes 57.
25:36Alright, before we carry on, let's take a few minutes for the opposite of camouflage.
25:40Advertisements.
25:41Ako e nei.
25:42Welcome back to Taskmaster.
25:57What's all this I'm hearing about bumper boats, Paul?
26:00Well Jeremy, our contestants are attempting to bump me in a bumper boat.
26:05Who's up next, Paul?
26:06These guys love being grouped together.
26:08It's Jack, Pax and Jackie.
26:10I'm coming, Paul.
26:12I'm going to get you.
26:22Why am I spinning?
26:24Why is it spinning?
26:25Why am I spinning?
26:27Paul!
26:29What do you want?
26:30Can you come here?
26:31I need to tell you something.
26:32Paul, I'm just going to come and have a little chat to you.
26:35Come here.
26:36I'm going to tell you something.
26:38You can just tell me through the walkie-talkie.
26:40We're connected by walkie-talkies.
26:42I feel like you have a faster one.
26:47Mine's actually slower if you can believe it.
26:49Paul, just come here, Paul.
26:51Why am I going that way?
27:00Okay, here we go.
27:01I got you now, Paul.
27:02I got you now, Paul.
27:03I think it would be more fun if you waited a little bit.
27:06I feel like this is it.
27:07I feel like this is it.
27:08I don't feel like this is it.
27:10I'm just going to, I won't tag you.
27:16I won't tag you.
27:17I'm getting closer, Paul.
27:19I can feel it.
27:20I feel like you're getting further away.
27:22I can feel it.
27:23I can feel it.
27:24I can feel it.
27:25I can feel it.
27:27Okay.
27:28I mean, he's not playing Paul.
27:30Can someone please go get my cell phone and pass it to me?
27:34I've got an idea.
27:35Yeah.
27:36I'm coming, Paul.
27:38I'm coming.
27:39Oh, no.
27:40Here we go.
27:41Here we go.
27:42Here we go.
27:43Come here.
27:44No way.
27:45Oh, thank God.
27:46Yes.
27:47Hey, Paul.
27:48Stop the time.
27:49What do you mean, stop the task?
27:50I just bumped a message you sent me on Facebook.
27:52I bumped her.
27:53Did you see it?
27:54I bumped you.
27:55You bumped me.
27:56You definitely bumped me.
27:57I bumped you.
27:58I bumped you.
27:59You bumped me.
28:00You definitely bumped me.
28:01I bumped you.
28:02You see that?
28:03Say that?
28:04Double whammy.
28:05Are you happy with that?
28:06Yeah.
28:07I bumped you, dude.
28:08Well, we've got cameras, so if you didn't bump me, we'll know you didn't bump me.
28:13Wait a minute.
28:14Can you lift your visor up?
28:15What do you mean?
28:16Can you lift your visor up?
28:17I don't know what you're talking about.
28:18Your leg is a lot thinner than I remember.
28:30My legs look regular to me.
28:39Can you lift your visor up?
28:41I don't know what you're talking about.
28:42Your leg is a lot thinner than I remember.
28:45My legs look regular to me.
28:48Okay.
28:56Oh, man.
28:57Jackie, you were saying, why am I turning in circles?
28:59You were steering the boat.
29:00I know. I am stunned.
29:03I'm sorry. I'm stunned. That was genius.
29:05Well, Pac's just about bumped Paul by accident.
29:08I actually want to cry.
29:10I think I've had a lot of...
29:12I'm so stressed right now.
29:14You were right beside him, and then you looked at his leg,
29:17and you thought, that's not Paul's leg.
29:19But then Paul went, yes, it is, and he went, oh, yeah.
29:21I just thought, like, maybe that day he felt a little bit anemic.
29:25This is what gets me about this show,
29:27and I wish I could now start the show now,
29:29knowing what I know, is that nothing is what it seems.
29:31No.
29:32And I know you more, and I know that you're just, like,
29:34a deceitful little shit.
29:36Oh, little shit.
29:37You're a little shit.
29:38You're a piece of shit.
29:39You're trying to prick us and embarrass us,
29:41I'm telling you and the whole family.
29:43I'm sick of your shit, Paul!
29:44I'm sick of your shit!
29:45Get out of here!
29:46Go!
29:47I was going to say, this is the last taped task,
29:50and I was going to ask if you had any reflections
29:52of your time on the show.
29:54You know what my reflection is, Jeremy?
29:55Go f*** yourself.
29:59Wow.
30:00So, one thing to note, to bump a message,
30:02is obviously to, you know, sort of bring back an old message.
30:05But he bumped his own message.
30:07Oh, man!
30:17This is the first time in the series where I support Jack's outrage.
30:21Yeah, I do support that.
30:22Yeah.
30:23God.
30:24Okay, let's talk about some times.
30:25Times?
30:26Yeah.
30:27Jack didn't bump me.
30:28He took 19 minutes, 42.
30:29Wow.
30:30Jackie also didn't bump me.
30:32Six minutes, 24.
30:33Oh.
30:35Pax, 21 minutes, 33.
30:37But again, he did not bump me.
30:39Right, okay.
30:40So, there is one person who we haven't shown yet.
30:43Yes.
30:44Let's go to break.
30:48She loves to be out on the water so much,
30:50she can't even spell her name without the C.
30:54It's Alice.
30:56Paul, can you hear me?
31:00Yes.
31:03Drive me a little bitch.
31:04Come and dump me.
31:09What are you doing now?
31:14Is there a ghost driving your bumble boat?
31:29Boats are all mine!
31:30Have you bumped any of those?
31:31So, you think if any of these boats bump me,
31:33that counts as you bumping me?
31:35That's game over.
31:36So, what's the plan here?
31:43You're trying to bump me with this ring?
31:47Ah!
31:49Are you enjoying this task?
31:51Who are you?
31:55Oh!
31:56Oh!
32:03Oh!
32:04I'm so annoyed.
32:17Oh, I'm in over my head.
32:29Paul!
32:30Yeah?
32:31I broke the boat.
32:35Oh, shit.
32:37Oh, I really f***ed it.
32:49Come here.
32:50Come here.
32:51Come here!
32:55I just bumped you.
32:57So, you bumped me by throwing a stone at me?
32:59Yeah.
33:00And you think that constitutes a bump?
33:03Do you not think that counts?
33:05It'll be up to the taskmaster.
33:06Well, I want your opinion.
33:08I don't have an opinion.
33:10Well, f***ing have an opinion.
33:12If you're happy with that, you can go.
33:14Well, I'm not happy with it.
33:18Thank you, Alice.
33:22Wow.
33:24Wow.
33:25No, you tried.
33:29Watching that footage back, I did notice that those boats I released did bump him.
33:34They did come near and I did lean out and I pushed one away.
33:38That's a bump.
33:39You were not in any of those boats.
33:40You released a whole lot of boats.
33:42Jeremy, the boats were there on my behalf.
33:45You released a whole lot of boats and actually, hold on.
33:48You also broke one of the bumper boats.
33:51With some terrible loose rope work.
33:53Have you paid for that yet?
33:55I was told that was covered by insurance.
33:58So how long was Alice faffing around in the thing for?
34:01Her attempt lasted 25 minutes 18.
34:04And yeah, she did throw a small pebble.
34:08That did hit me.
34:09Thoughts on that?
34:11No.
34:13I threw the pebble!
34:16By that stage you were desperate.
34:18I don't deny that.
34:20I don't feel like zero points is fair for the people who didn't bump.
34:22I'm happy to give everyone who didn't bump one.
34:25And then five points for Brie who bumped you.
34:28Wow.
34:29Okay, incredible.
34:31Well done Brie.
34:33Right, season six of Taskmaster is almost over,
34:35but I've found a way to drag it out a little bit longer.
34:37It involves playing some ads.
34:39We'll see you on the other side.
34:53Kia ora ana.
34:54Welcome back to the season finale of Taskmaster.
34:58It's almost time to hand out my golden noggin,
35:01which makes for a great stand for your headphones
35:04and a rather distracting hood ornament.
35:07There's still one more task to complete,
35:09but before we get to that,
35:11Paul, can we have a scoreboard update for the episode?
35:14He's going out with a bang.
35:16With 13 points, it's Jack Ansett.
35:17Alright everyone, head up to the stage for the final task of the season.
35:29Okay Paul, who's reading out the final task?
35:32Alice Snedder.
35:34Build a paper plane and fly it the furthest.
35:37Your plane must resemble a plane.
35:40Each round the shortest distance will be eliminated.
35:43Each round your building time will be halved.
35:46I take it you've all made paper planes?
35:48You were good.
35:49Paul and I spent literally 22 minutes watching a paper airplane tutorial,
35:54and I made an incredible paper plane that impressed the whole crowd.
35:59You had to be there.
36:01Obviously it is permissible if you want to check out the expertise of the other players,
36:05would that be seen as sneaky?
36:07You've got two minutes, you can definitely take a peek.
36:09Yeah, because I'm really starting with nothing.
36:12Oh come on man!
36:13Oh my god!
36:18Okay.
36:19Are you ready?
36:20Yes.
36:21On my whistle.
36:22Come on man.
36:23I will fight.
36:2440 seconds.
36:25Wow Jack, very sleek.
36:26Paper plane down.
36:27Place it on the plinth please Jackie.
36:28Oh Jackie.
36:29Oh I feel bad now Jackie.
36:30Okay, we're going to start with Alice.
36:31Oh no.
36:32Oh no.
36:33Oh no.
36:35Three.
36:36Three.
36:37Go Brie.
36:38Go Brie.
36:39Yes!
36:40Go Brie.
36:41Yes!
36:42Oh wow.
36:43Very on.
36:44Jack.
36:45Oh my god!
36:46Oh, Jackie.
36:47Oh, I feel bad now, Jackie.
36:49OK.
36:50We're going to start with Alice.
36:55Oh, my.
36:56Oh.
36:58Oh, no.
37:03Bree.
37:04Go, Bree.
37:05Yes!
37:06Oh, wow.
37:08You're very on.
37:09Jack.
37:12Oh, my god.
37:14Oh, no way.
37:17Jackie.
37:18If you beat me.
37:25Oh, no.
37:27Oh, no.
37:29Pax.
37:36Alice Sneddon, you have been eliminated.
37:40You have one minute on my whistle.
37:42Jackie, learn what you can from me, Jackie.
37:45Oh, thank you so much.
37:50Oh, no.
37:50You have 30 seconds.
37:51Shit.
37:52Oh, no.
37:5412 seconds.
37:54Oh, my god.
37:56I've gone for an Airbus 320.
38:00Stop.
38:01Pax, hands away.
38:02Jackie, hands away.
38:04We'll start with Bree.
38:05Oh, you're right, you're right.
38:07Oh, you're right, you're right.
38:10Jack.
38:15Oh, too high.
38:17Jack's is currently further.
38:20Go on, Jackie.
38:21OK.
38:22How many chances do I get?
38:23Just the one.
38:23God damn it!
38:24God damn it!
38:27Goatland.
38:28Yay!
38:30I got it off the stage!
38:31Huge improves, man.
38:33I'm actually so proud of you.
38:35Thank you so much.
38:43Oh, no.
38:45Oh, Pax.
38:49Pax, you are eliminated.
38:51Jackie, go and fulfill your destiny of coming third.
38:59You have 30 seconds.
39:02Go here.
39:03Yep, yep.
39:04Go there.
39:05There.
39:06Yep, good.
39:07Do another fold that way.
39:0813 seconds.
39:09Create wings with that side.
39:10Like that?
39:106 seconds.
39:11No, no, no, no, no, even, even.
39:12No, no, no, back, back, back, back, back.
39:13Bring it all the way to the end.
39:15Jackie, hands away.
39:18That was hard.
39:19It's good.
39:19It's good.
39:20It's better than anything you've ever done.
39:22Bree will be throwing first.
39:30Jack, answer.
39:34Ooh.
39:36Jackie, this is no pressure.
39:37You can do this, Jackie.
39:44I can't watch this.
39:44Go.
39:47Go.
39:48No.
39:57It's amazing.
39:58Bree Thomasel is eliminated.
40:01How much time?
40:0215 seconds.
40:02Jesus.
40:03Jackie, do you remember the process?
40:05No.
40:05You know my brain.
40:06Yeah, yeah.
40:07You learn it new every time.
40:09I don't know how you're winning the show.
40:12Okay.
40:14Okay.
40:15Two small four.
40:16No, no, no.
40:17What are you doing?
40:18Two small four.
40:19No, no, no, no.
40:20Triangles.
40:21You can't.
40:22Triangle.
40:23Triangle.
40:24Five.
40:25Then fold in.
40:26Four.
40:27Three.
40:28And then fold.
40:29Two.
40:30One.
40:31Fold.
40:34Okay, this is the grand final.
40:36Okay.
40:45You can do it, Jackie.
40:46Jackie.
40:47Okay.
40:48Feeling good.
40:52Okay.
40:53I think the thing to remember is that I've learned a lot.
40:55It's been a fun journey.
40:56It's a flick of the wrist and a little bit of the forearm.
40:58I got it.
40:59One.
41:00One.
41:01One.
41:02One.
41:03Two.
41:04Two.
41:05One.
41:06One.
41:07Two.
41:08One.
41:09All right, come on down everyone, we'll score it and find out who's the winner of season six.
41:18Let's score the live task.
41:21One point for Alice, two points for Pax, three points for Bree, four points for Jackie, and five points for Jack Ansev.
41:31Okay Paul, what about episode 10?
41:34The winner of episode 10 with 18 points is Jack Ansev.
41:39Congratulations Jack. Please go and enjoy your information rhyming items.
41:50Oh, wow, wow.
41:55The moment of truth. It's time to announce the winner of season six.
42:07And what a season it's been. We've had climaxes and clowns.
42:11We've had hidden balls, hidden cakes and balls that weren't hidden.
42:16And they just rolled away.
42:17And it's all led to this.
42:20Paul, could you please read out the scores and announce the official winner of Taskmaster season six.
42:26In fifth place, with a very respectable 137 points, Pax Asadi.
42:35Just ahead of him, on 144, Alice Sneddon.
42:40With a bronze medal and 154 points, Bree Tomasel.
42:45In second place, with 160 points, Jack Ansev.
42:57The winner of Taskmaster New Zealand season six with 164 points is Jackie Van Beek.
43:05Please join me in offering a huge congratulations to the winner of this season, Jackie Van Beek.
43:30Thank you so much for joining us.
43:34We'll see you again soon.
43:36Good night.
43:36Put them on a hoe.
43:41Go down.
43:43Go down.
43:44Go down.
43:44Go down.
43:44Go down.
43:49Go down.
43:50Go down.
43:50Go down.
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