- 5 months ago
UPDATE ON THE HOTTEST SHOWS AT THE MOMENT.
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00:00Pull!
00:02Pull!
00:12Yes!
00:14Oh, ma'am.
00:16Au revoir!
00:20Yeah! Oh, no!
00:22Ha ha ha!
00:24Ha!
00:26Ha ha!
00:36Kata kato katoa, and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38My name's Jeremy Wells.
00:40Join me in welcoming my five favourite comedians of the season.
00:44Ladies and gentlemen, Alice Sneddon.
00:48Brie Thomasell.
00:50Jack Ansett.
00:52Jackie Van Beek.
00:54And Pax Society.
01:00And beside me, a man who's asked me to adopt him so many times I've lost count.
01:06An act that his real dad calls hurtful and generally upsetting.
01:10Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Williams.
01:16Sorry I'm late.
01:20I thought you were going to be in the wheelie bin.
01:22I thought you were going to be in the wheelie bin.
01:28Why would I be in the wheelie bin?
01:30I don't know why that's there. Sorry.
01:34Okay.
01:36What's tonight's prize task?
01:38Pack up the car and throw me the keys.
01:40Tonight we've asked our contestants to bring in the best thing to take on a road trip.
01:46First let's go to Brie.
01:48You look like a man who loves to run a clean anus.
01:52Am I right?
01:54I try to.
01:56Which is why I've brought in this.
02:00That Jeremy is a portable bidet.
02:02Oh.
02:04I didn't want to bring in something that I haven't tested.
02:08And so if we can roll the clip.
02:10Oh.
02:12Oh.
02:14Brianna what's that?
02:16Oh Brianna.
02:18Oh.
02:19It's a portable bidet.
02:20Oh Brianna.
02:22Here.
02:24Oh Brianna.
02:26Oh Brianna.
02:28Oh Brianna.
02:30Oh Brianna.
02:32Speaking from experience.
02:36You can get the same result with your electric toothbrush.
02:40Jack.
02:42What did you bring in?
02:44I brought in my grandfather.
02:46So that you can go through the carpool lane.
02:50Here he is.
02:52Um.
02:54For any viewers who aren't familiar.
02:58New Zealand has T2 lanes.
03:00Where you need two people in the car.
03:02To be allowed to drive in them.
03:04Should have mentioned that up the top.
03:06But.
03:07It's so important to be respectful of the dead.
03:09But.
03:10You would get a ticket.
03:11Jack.
03:12You sure about that Alice?
03:13Yes I'm sure.
03:14100%.
03:15This is so exciting for me.
03:17I know for a fact you would not get a ticket because I asked Auckland Transport and they sent me back a statement.
03:25Um.
03:26Here it is.
03:27This is a pretty grey and dusty area.
03:31Incorrect use of a T2 lane can result in a $150 infringement fine.
03:36However Auckland Transport likes to think outside the box.
03:39And we feel your grandad has probably earned the rights.
03:43Oh sh- okay.
03:44To travel in a T2 lane.
03:46Safe travels and it's nice to know your grandad has had a grave influence on your daily commute.
03:51Wow.
03:52What the bullshit.
03:53Amazing.
03:55I mean that's bullshit.
03:56What was that again Alan?
03:57No.
03:58Jackie.
03:59What did you bring in?
04:00Well I Jeremy.
04:01Love a road trip.
04:03And sometimes I just like to go A to B.
04:05So I like to take a camelback.
04:07I'm also a tramper.
04:08I come from a family of trampers.
04:10We have five of these.
04:11So what I do.
04:12What I do is I attach the camelback if I'm driving for example.
04:15To the back of my driver's seat.
04:17Just so the thing's just dangling here and I can just keep drinking.
04:20And then to the second picture of course.
04:23We all wear one of these.
04:25So there is no reason to stop.
04:27It's an incontinence nappy.
04:28The five of us will wear one of these.
04:31When it's a destination journey.
04:33When did you stop being an underwear model June?
04:36Oh yeah.
04:39What did you bring in packs?
04:40I brought this.
04:43I panicked.
04:46You have kids?
04:47Yes.
04:48How old are your kids?
04:4915 and 13.
04:50Are they still annoying?
04:51Oh absolutely.
04:52Yeah.
04:53They're particularly annoying on drives.
04:55Sure.
04:56Arguing.
04:57Asking for shit.
04:58Like a cat.
05:01Shut up.
05:03This is a bad one.
05:06Okay Alice.
05:07What did you bring in?
05:08So what I went with is you know.
05:09I wanted something very practical.
05:10Something that could solve any problem.
05:12What's the thing that can solve any problem?
05:14Google.
05:16Almost.
05:17It's fire.
05:20So that is a flint or a fire starter.
05:23You know maybe as an exercise you could ask me a sort of problem that might arise on the road.
05:29Flat flat tire.
05:30Flat tire.
05:31I've been thinking about this.
05:32So you pull over to the side of the road.
05:33You start a little fire.
05:35What brings more people to you than starting a fire?
05:38Because you know your phone can die.
05:41Your GPS can die.
05:42Your grandad.
05:43Your grandad can die.
05:45So I'm just saying there's something to be said for what I'm suggesting here.
05:50Look I'm struggling to give out points here but I guess I have to give out some points.
05:53Pax you get one for bringing in a spray bottle.
05:56Yeah.
05:57Two for Alice.
05:58You're never going to use those on a road trip.
06:00I got three points for Brie for the portable bidet.
06:04Four points for Jack but it would have been easier just to get a friend to sit in your car in the T2 lane.
06:09Five points for Jackie because as a grown up myself who has used a man nappy.
06:14Yep.
06:15There is something very very pleasurable about letting yourself go in a nappy as an adult.
06:20Thank you Jeremy.
06:21So five points for Jackie.
06:23Paul, let's get to the first proper task of the show.
06:29Let's hit the club and have a ball.
06:39Hi Paul.
06:40Hello Brie.
06:41Great to see you.
06:42How are you this side of Christmas?
06:44Do I go down the stairs?
06:45Just stay there please.
06:46Oh, okay.
06:47Where's the task?
06:48Oh, the task is down there.
06:50Yeah.
06:51Yes please.
06:52Point it on up eh Paul?
06:53Yes please.
06:54Oh.
06:59Okay, get the ball in the hole.
07:02Where's the hole?
07:04It's on the course.
07:05For every handbag that you are wearing when you get the ball in the hole, 30 seconds will be deducted from your time.
07:13If the ball goes off the course, Paul will place your ball back at the starting spot and 90 seconds will be added to your time.
07:19You may not leave this walkway.
07:21Fastest wins.
07:22Fastest wins.
07:23Your time starts now.
07:24Oh.
07:25Don't get dizzy Paul.
07:26I won't.
07:27Get the ball in the hole.
07:28Ah, where's the ball?
07:29Ah.
07:30And what does the handbag mean?
07:31All the information you need is in the task.
07:32I've dropped it.
07:33I don't know what to tell you.
07:34So the basic idea is that you've got the golf club, it's going around and around, you're trying to get the ball in the hole and try and pick up some bags and wear them at the same time.
07:52So simple.
07:53Who's handbag wearing and golf club swinging are we going to see first, Paul?
07:57It's time for the two contestants we pay slightly more than the other three.
08:02It's Jack and Pax.
08:04Brilliant.
08:05Okay.
08:06What's this?
08:07A Geechee?
08:08Oh.
08:09Hey.
08:10Here we go.
08:11Oh man, my perception is getting all out of whack.
08:15I'm going to knock this this way first and we'll see how that gets us.
08:20The ball's gone off the track.
08:22Has it?
08:23Stay.
08:24No.
08:25No.
08:26Ah.
08:27No, I hit it too hard.
08:28Hit the bag.
08:29And stay.
08:32No.
08:33No.
08:34No.
08:35Oh.
08:36Thank God.
08:37Go.
08:38Go.
08:39No.
08:40Come on whitey.
08:41Oh no.
08:42Sorry about the flag.
08:46Ah.
08:47Just calm control.
08:48Don't panic.
08:49Don't panic.
08:50Don't panic.
08:51Don't panic!
08:52Don't panic!
08:56Do you ever support a father?
08:57Yes.
08:58Can you pretend to be him?
08:59And I'm you.
09:00Are you playing golf are you Paul?
09:01Yeah.
09:02Dad, I am.
09:03You don't usually call me Dad.
09:04You call me Gary.
09:05Sorry Daddy.
09:06No, I don't.
09:07No, you don't call him Daddy.
09:08Definitely not.
09:09You're just guiding it.
09:10And you just stay calm and controlled.
09:11Just stay calm and controlled.
09:12You just stay calm and controlled.
09:14Stay calm and controlled and don't lose the plot.
09:19I'm really struggling Daddy.
09:21No, Gary.
09:22Gary.
09:23Daddy.
09:24Not Daddy.
09:25My Daddy Gary.
09:26No.
09:27And?
09:28There.
09:29We're in.
09:30We're in?
09:31Oh yeah.
09:32No!
09:33I wanna cry.
09:37Can I cry?
09:44Did I get you in the dick?
09:45A little bit.
09:46Good.
09:48Oh sorry.
09:49That's okay.
09:50I wouldn't hurt you.
09:51Deliberately.
09:52Yeah, who would do that?
09:53I'm not angry by the way.
09:54I'm really happy.
09:55I'm really happy to be here.
09:57Please.
09:59I've stopped the clock.
10:00Come on.
10:01Yes!
10:02Yes!
10:03Yes!
10:04Ah!
10:05No!
10:06Yes!
10:07Yes!
10:08I just wanna apologise for flinging a bag into your penis.
10:11It seemed to do the trick.
10:12Honestly, seeing you in pain is the motivation I needed to finish this task.
10:16Thank you, Jack.
10:17See ya.
10:18Ah!
10:24Pax.
10:25Well, I noticed something about you.
10:26When you get frustrated, either you sing songs.
10:28Yeah, I sing songs.
10:29Or you scream.
10:30Yeah.
10:31It's a cultural thing.
10:32Ah.
10:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:34Yeah.
10:35Is that also why you weren't putting handbags on?
10:36Is that sort of a cultural thing?
10:37No, that's a, um, dum-dum thing.
10:39Right.
10:40Okay.
10:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:42It was interesting as well because, genuinely, behind the scenes for the last few days, you
10:45have been talking about how you think if you just put a little bit more effort into
10:50golf, you could turn pro.
10:51Oh, yeah.
10:52Yeah.
10:53That's what he said.
10:54I told you that in confidence!
10:56He said the same thing to me about basketball!
10:59Yeah.
11:00Yeah.
11:01So, time-wise, they were actually incredibly close.
11:04Oh, that's so annoying.
11:05Oh, that's so annoying.
11:06But this is before any add-ons or subtractions.
11:08Oh, yeah.
11:09Yeah.
11:10Initial times, Pax was 23 minutes, 47 seconds.
11:14Oh, don't!
11:15Don't!
11:16Jack was, uh, 24 minutes, 43 seconds.
11:19Okay.
11:20So, just under a minute slower.
11:21But then, Pax was wearing zero handbags, and he went into the water three times, which
11:27takes his total to 28 minutes, 17.
11:30Okay.
11:31Jack went into the water three times as well, but he was wearing seven handbags.
11:35Oh, wow.
11:36Which takes his total to 25 minutes, 43.
11:39Respectable.
11:40Wow, good.
11:41Yeah.
11:43Yeah.
11:44Alright, stop right now.
11:46Thank you very much.
11:47I need somebody to sell me some products.
11:49We'll see you after the break.
12:01No, my, who can I?
12:02Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:04Before the break, our comedians were trying to play golf on a spinning platform,
12:08several metres below them.
12:10For every handbag they were wearing when they got the ball in the hole, time would be taken
12:15off.
12:16And every time they knocked the ball off the platform, time would be added.
12:20So far, Jack is in the lead with 25 minutes and Pax is in last with 28 minutes.
12:25He refused to wear any handbags because of toxic masculinity.
12:28Up next, here's Bree and Alice.
12:29Alley-oop.
12:31Oh my God, what have you got in there?
12:35Alrighty, so then you just gotta put it in there.
12:36Shot.
12:37Oh God, this is gonna be a long wait around if I don't get it straight in this hole.
12:42No!
12:43No!
12:44No!
12:45No!
12:46I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job and I can't imagine anyone kind of doing better.
12:49Shut up.
12:50Oh my God.
12:51Oh my God.
12:52Shut up.
12:53No!
12:54No!
12:55At least I look cruel in all these tasks.
13:00No!
13:01I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job.
13:03And I can't imagine anyone kind of doing better.
13:07Shut up.
13:09Oh!
13:15At least I look cool in all these tasks.
13:17That's the main thing.
13:19No!
13:20Stop it!
13:25Oh, no.
13:26I don't love being shot from that angle, you know?
13:28From what angle? That...
13:30Like, quite far down below.
13:32Don't.
13:33Stop it.
13:34Stop it.
13:35Oh, you bastard.
13:41It's not about the destination, it's about the journey
13:44and what you learn along the way.
13:46What have you learned along the way?
13:47That I'm not very good at a lot of these things.
13:50Can you go grab the ball for me?
13:52And put it in the hole?
13:55Stop!
13:56Into the water trap?
13:58Yeah.
14:02Oh!
14:03No!
14:13Stop the clock.
14:18Yes!
14:19See you, Paul.
14:20Bye.
14:21Bree, you were very handbag focused.
14:28Yeah, I at one point was choking myself
14:31because I'd put like three handbags around my neck
14:34and Paul kept telling me to put more on
14:38and I think he liked it in some weird fetish way.
14:43There's a whole community of us.
14:54Should we look at times?
14:56Bree's initial time, 15 minutes 54.
14:59What?
15:00Amazing.
15:01Wow.
15:02She was wearing five bags total when she sunk the ball
15:05and she went into the water once for a total of 14 minutes 54.
15:10Wow.
15:11Happy, happy.
15:12Very nice.
15:14Then Alice, she went into the water zero times
15:19and was wearing nine bags, meaning her total time was 6 minutes 34.
15:26Are you kidding me?
15:27You could go pro.
15:30I, I could go pro.
15:32You could.
15:34I'm real off right now.
15:37One more goal for Paul.
15:39Correct, Jeremy.
15:40Last but not least, it's Jackie Van Beek.
15:44Um, okay.
15:48Oh, man.
15:49Oh, man.
15:50Come on!
15:52Oh, you're going the other way.
15:55I'm trying to play the long game
15:56because now I'm going to focus on bags.
15:58Don't tell me that went into the...
15:59It's getting quite close.
16:05Whoopsies.
16:06We've got a bag in the moat.
16:08Don't let that go into the moat.
16:10I have some good news and some bad news.
16:12Yeah?
16:13Good news is your ball didn't go into the moat.
16:15The bad news?
16:16Climate change is real.
16:18Do not talk to me unless you're being in your school.
16:20Could you put a few more balls down?
16:22No, sorry.
16:23Just so I've got a few more options.
16:27Okay, don't worry, Paul.
16:28Don't worry about it.
16:29Sorry, the ball's all spilled.
16:33Okay, just relax, Paul.
16:35Don't touch those ones!
16:36Don't touch those ones!
16:37I think it's about confidence.
16:40Definitely.
16:45Yeah.
16:46What I've learnt is it's not all about confidence.
16:48It's maybe partly about aim and skill.
16:50It's also aim and skill.
16:59This is it.
17:00That was it.
17:01That was it!
17:02That was it.
17:03I think I got the ball in the hole of the moat.
17:07The moat!
17:08A whole lot of fun.
17:09What a whole lot of fun in one old time we had.
17:13Hole in one.
17:14Hole in one long, long afternoon of fun.
17:16Let's stop the clock.
17:17Okay, so you're happy with that?
17:18Very, very happy.
17:19Okay, thank you.
17:23Did I not complete the task?
17:25No, I don't think so.
17:28Oh no, I didn't remember that.
17:31Her logic was that she got a hole in one in the sense that she had a whole lot of fun in one afternoon.
17:40Hey.
17:44And good for you, Jackie.
17:45Thank you so much, Jeremy.
17:46Good for you.
17:47Yeah, so how long did Jackie take to not do the task?
17:51She only attempted the task for 15 minutes and 42 seconds.
17:54That's it!
17:55Like, had enough in half an hour.
17:58That's it!
17:59I think I was hungry.
18:00I'm trying to remember because I have a very fast metabolism and when I need to eat,
18:04so I don't get nasty like these guys get.
18:07Sports should be for everyone.
18:09Except Jackie.
18:10Except Jackie.
18:11Hey, I do community hip-hop every Tuesday, 6.30 to 7.30.
18:19I do!
18:20I'm a fantastic sports person.
18:25The amount of times you have brought up the fact that you do community hip-hop.
18:30I do!
18:31She was doing it out the back.
18:32Yeah, every single day I hear about how you do community hip-hop.
18:36Yeah, because I do.
18:37Like, pot, lock.
18:39Yeah, that stuff, all that stuff.
18:43I'm ready to score it, Paul.
18:44So Jackie did not complete the task?
18:46No.
18:47Zero points, because if you don't complete the task, you get zero points.
18:49Okay.
18:50That's the rule.
18:51But Pax should get two.
18:52And then we go three for Jack, four for Brie.
18:54Okay.
18:55And five for Alice Sneddon.
18:56Yeah, the girls!
18:58Well done.
18:59Alright, how are the scores looking so far, Paul?
19:02Unbelievably tight.
19:04We have a three-way tie, all on seven, Alice, Brie and Jack.
19:08Oh, no!
19:09Nice.
19:10Nice eyes.
19:11Anyone's going.
19:13Alright, should we have another task, Paul?
19:15We sure should, Jeremy.
19:16It's time for the old razzle-dazzle.
19:20Hello.
19:21G'day.
19:22Hi.
19:23I'm Alice.
19:24G'day.
19:25Hi.
19:26I'm Jill.
19:27Nice to meet you.
19:28I'm Alan.
19:29Nice to meet you.
19:30Yeah.
19:31Lovely to meet you.
19:32My grandfather's name was Alan.
19:33That's nice.
19:34That's a good story.
19:35Well, this is awkward.
19:36We should open this.
19:37Do these belong to you?
19:38I don't think so.
19:39No?
19:40Okay.
19:41Dazzle these senior citizens.
19:42Are you comfortable being called that?
19:44Well, that's true.
19:45Oh, okay.
19:46Alright.
19:47I'd say you're uni students.
19:48Oh, well, I'd say you're uni students.
19:50No?
19:51Okay.
19:52Dazzle these senior citizens.
19:53Are you comfortable being called that?
19:55Well, that's true.
19:56Oh, okay.
19:57Alright.
19:58I'd say you're uni students.
20:00Most dazzled senior citizens wins.
20:03You have 30 minutes to prepare.
20:04And one minute to dazzle.
20:06Your time starts now.
20:07I think we should leave you guys to prepare.
20:09Get them out of here.
20:10Please.
20:12Please.
20:13Please leave.
20:14How do you feel about Kendrick Lamar?
20:15Hey, don't listen to that, please.
20:16Don't answer that.
20:17Never heard of her.
20:18Jack, I could be wrong here, but you seem genuinely frightened.
20:20I'm sorry.
20:21I'm sorry.
20:22I'm sorry.
20:23I'm sorry.
20:24I'm sorry.
20:25I'm sorry.
20:26I'm sorry.
20:27I'm sorry.
20:28I'm sorry.
20:29I'm genuinely frightened by those senior citizens.
20:31And then you yelled at them and told them to leave.
20:33No, I mean, I was quite confident I was going to nail this task.
20:36Because I've been hanging out with two senior citizens all day.
20:38Oh, come on.
20:41Which team's up first, Paul?
20:43Let them entertain you.
20:45It's Alison Brie.
20:47Do you know what?
20:48I think my parents are always quite impressed by my proficiency with technology.
20:53Ooh.
20:54Like, maybe if we got a big TV and we mirrored something to it.
20:59All we need then is a big screen TV.
21:02Okay.
21:03An iPad.
21:04A bunch of photos of Jill and Ellen.
21:05Could you give them a ten minute tour of the house?
21:07This is the bar area.
21:09We'll hide and surreptitiously take photos of that.
21:12This is nice.
21:13That's the outdoor bathtub.
21:15Wow.
21:16This is the caravan.
21:18Gets quite hot in the summer.
21:20I'll bet.
21:21And this is the shed.
21:22We've got trophies, some drums, golf.
21:24Basically, it's got it all.
21:26That's kind of all we have time for.
21:28Razzle dazzle, baby.
21:30Have a seat, please.
21:32And prepare to be dazzled.
21:34Hi.
21:35Hi, Jill.
21:36Hi, Ellen.
21:37Hi.
21:38Now, do you guys happen to have a phone on you?
21:40Just...
21:41Wow, look at that.
21:42On here.
21:43Okay.
21:44So, I'm going to show you how to airdrop something.
21:45Airdrop?
21:46Wow, check that out.
21:48Do I accept?
21:49Please accept.
21:50Now, look at that.
21:51Wow.
21:52What did you get, Ellen?
21:53My back.
21:54Wow, and it's a swipe across.
21:56Oh, Jill's back.
21:58Yeah?
21:59They've just gone from Alice's phone into Alan's phone.
22:04Just like that.
22:05Now, that should be enough to dazzle you, I know.
22:08But there's more.
22:09What I'm about to do is take something that is on my laptop
22:13and with one cable and this adapter,
22:16I'm going to transfer it to the TV.
22:19Whoa.
22:20Wow.
22:23I mean, I don't know about you,
22:25but I feel razzled and also dazzled.
22:27And then we can just take this with us.
22:29Anywhere.
22:30So now we can go put this on another TV, can't we?
22:31We can.
22:32We probably won't, but we could.
22:33Yeah.
22:40Whoa.
22:41You were treating Jill and Ellen like they'd been beamed in
22:46from medieval times.
22:47Jeremy.
22:48That would be amazed at the fact that you could do Bluetooth magic.
22:51These are people who have presumably survived the war.
22:58Which war exactly?
23:00Name any of them.
23:04Technology has advanced well beyond what they were certainly used to.
23:09Alan did tell me he knew how to screen share his computer.
23:13Paul, shut up, Paul.
23:14He watches football matches on the TV.
23:17Would I need that?
23:18Okay, it's time for some ads.
23:19And if you're anything like Bree and Alice,
23:21you'll probably enjoy them because they think it's dazzling
23:24to put literally anything on the television.
23:26We'll see you after this.
23:28Welcome back to Taskmaster.
23:41Before the break, our comedians were trying to dazzle some senior citizens.
23:45Something we're always keen to do here at Taskmaster
23:48because they're a valuable demographic for network television.
23:51Up next, attempting to dazzle Jill and Ellen,
23:55it's the Jacks and Packs.
23:58They want to be dazzled.
23:59They want to be impressed by us.
24:00What skills do we have between us?
24:01I can do one card trick.
24:03Well.
24:04Yep.
24:05I can eat an entire raw onion.
24:07Okay.
24:08It's a one-minute variety show.
24:11Are you ready?
24:25I want you to pick a card.
24:40Any card.
24:41Okay.
24:42Now look at it and remember it.
24:43Okay?
24:44Yes.
24:45And now I want you to push it.
24:46In there.
24:47Give it a big push.
24:48And now I'm going to give it the big Gigolo Jack smack.
24:51Bang!
24:52And now, is that your card?
24:55That is.
24:57Please put these on for safety.
25:01One raw onion.
25:09Behold, Mother Nature's onion.
25:14Also just known as an onion.
25:16It's an onion.
25:19Holy shit.
25:20I really regret this.
25:25An onion.
25:31I'm done.
25:34And that was the show.
25:37We thank you for coming.
25:39Get up.
25:40Get up.
25:41And to yourselves.
25:44You only ate half of it.
25:54Wow.
25:55Beautiful introduction there, Jackie.
25:58I could see.
25:59I think I knew what you were doing there.
26:01You were channeling Debbie Dorday from Burgundy's.
26:04No, no, no.
26:05She was channeling community hip-hop.
26:07Yeah.
26:08It was kind of community hip-hop cabaret.
26:10And did you see Ellen's face?
26:11Because when Jackie started dancing, he thought Jackie was going to strip.
26:16I saw his eyes.
26:17That was razzling.
26:18That was razzling.
26:19He was hopeful that he was going to see Jackie's tits.
26:21Yeah.
26:23I would have shown him my tits if I thought.
26:27You should have shown him your tits.
26:28Me too.
26:29Get him in.
26:30Get him in now.
26:31Get him in.
26:32We'll do it now.
26:33We'll razzle dazzle the out of that guy.
26:36Well, I mean, I'm here to judge the task.
26:39I seriously thought this team here, I thought for this whole series, I think they're just
26:43destined to lose every single team task.
26:45This is one of the great redemption stories of Taskmaster.
26:47Oh, wow.
26:48I love you.
26:49Yes, I love you.
26:50I love you.
26:51You remember that.
26:52Bullshit.
26:53I say we get out Pax's onion and you guys cry us a f***ing river.
26:55That's my boy.
26:56That's my boy.
26:57That's my boy.
26:58That's my boy.
26:59Yes.
27:00That's my boy.
27:02Yes.
27:03Okay.
27:04Eat a dick.
27:05Oh my god.
27:06That's my boy.
27:07That's my boy.
27:08That's my boy.
27:10Yes.
27:12Yes.
27:14Yes.
27:16Okay.
27:17Oh my god.
27:18Okay.
27:19I'm ready for another task, Paul.
27:21You got it, Jeremy.
27:23Domino is a Latin word meaning to the master.
27:26So as the assistant domino, it brings me great joy to present to you a task involving a fellow domino.
27:41Hey.
27:42Hello, Alice.
27:43Hi, Paul.
27:44You're right here, Paul.
27:46Hello, Pax.
27:47Jack.
27:48Dominoes.
27:52Was I meant to do that?
27:53You never know what's part of it, do you?
28:02Knock over the domino in the lab.
28:05You must be on the spot when you begin your attempt.
28:08You may only touch one thing during your attempt.
28:12What?
28:13You may not move the domino or the starting spot.
28:16Longest time between the attempt beginning and the domino falling wins.
28:22So you want it to be slow.
28:24Very slow.
28:25You have 40 minutes or until you successfully knock over the domino.
28:29Your time starts now.
28:31Where is the domino?
28:32In the lab.
28:33Who?
28:34Okay, well, I'm going to go to the lab.
28:35Okay.
28:36You can just say beep if that's a really bad idea.
28:38Okay.
28:39I could also just say that's not a good idea.
28:46Okay, Paul.
28:47So it seems to me that this task has been carefully created to get our contestants to set up a series
28:52of dominoes that go all the way from the second floor down the stairs into the lab.
28:57Is that right?
28:58Yes, to knock over the large domino in the lab.
29:00Who are we going to see first?
29:01Attempting to knock over a domino, it's Brie Domicel.
29:07Do we have a set of dominoes?
29:11That's not going to be a math ball.
29:13Dominoes with things that aren't dominoes.
29:16Is it the plan?
29:17Books.
29:18Books is the plan.
29:20Just be careful, Paul.
29:25It works.
29:27I can throw a ball.
29:29Paul.
29:30Yes.
29:31New plan.
29:32Try and get the books down here and then we're going to start pegging balls down here to hit it.
29:35Okay.
29:36Is that the Bible?
29:39Good Catholic girl.
29:40The Bible wouldn't screw me over, would it?
29:43Oh!
29:44No, no, no, no, no!
29:47Oh, shit.
29:48It was the freaking Bible.
29:50I knew Jesus hated me.
29:52My physics are right.
29:54We should hit this and hit those books.
29:56Are we ready?
29:57Born to New Zealand!
29:58What happened?
30:11Oh!
30:15You've got to be kidding me, Paul.
30:16You ready?
30:17Ready.
30:18It's going over the top again, Paul.
30:23Hold on.
30:37You're joking.
30:38I'm happy with that.
30:39Okay.
30:40See you, Paul.
30:41Thank you, Brie.
30:46So, how long did it take Brie?
30:48From the start of her attempt, launching the ball to the domino falling over in the lab,
30:5421 seconds.
30:55Wow.
30:56I'll take it.
30:57So, the longer the better.
30:59So, 21 seconds, not bad.
31:00At this point, it's the best.
31:02Mmm.
31:03Alright.
31:04Just as one falling domino must lead to the fall of another, so too must the end of one
31:09part of Taskmaster lead to an ad break.
31:11We'll see you after this.
31:12Tēnā tātou katoa.
31:13Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five comedians are giving up their dignity in the hopes of
31:29winning some adult nappies and a dead man's ashes.
31:32Where were we, Paul?
31:33Our comedians were attempting to knock over the domino in the lab starting on the stairs.
31:39The goal is to take as long as possible from your attempt starting to the domino falling
31:44over.
31:45So far, we've seen Brie knock over the domino with a b-ball and the b-bull.
31:50The Bible.
31:52Up next, it's Pax and Jackie.
31:56I need to blindfold you.
31:59Can you see?
32:00No.
32:01Okay.
32:02So, all I need, a very thin, invisible fishing line.
32:07And stop.
32:09Handrail is here.
32:11Wait there.
32:13It's almost invisible.
32:14It is, isn't it?
32:15Yeah, I can see how fish fall for it.
32:19Alright.
32:21Okay.
32:22Okay.
32:23I'm starting now.
32:26One step forward.
32:29I'm still trying.
32:32That's taking ages.
32:34Now stop.
32:35Now tell me your five favourite films.
32:40Is this part of the attempt?
32:42Yeah.
32:44It's taking so long.
32:45Are you still there?
32:46Yes.
32:48Number three.
32:49Home Alone 2, Lost in New York.
32:52Okay, I'm starting to become a bit taut.
32:55And stop.
32:56Rank.
32:57Bread.
32:58Rice.
32:59Pasta.
33:00Noodles.
33:01Or potato.
33:03It's really tough.
33:04I know, it is really tough.
33:06How long's that been so far?
33:08I can't say.
33:09No, well, just like, has it been over a minute?
33:12I can't say.
33:13Sorry.
33:15Now open the curtain in front of you.
33:22Kick your left leg forward fast.
33:28Finished.
33:34Very clever.
33:36With the fishing line, I think the question is, so where does the attempt start?
33:40So she was claiming when she started the motion, that was the start.
33:44And when the domino fell?
33:45Yes, because I very carefully, carefully left slack all the way up.
33:49Is it technically touching the domino to be touching something that's touching the domino?
33:54Whoa.
33:55Just out of interest.
33:56I have no horse in this race.
33:58Well you do have a horse.
33:59We do.
34:00Your own horse.
34:01Well then, as a person with a horse in the race, does it count?
34:04We'll get to that, I think, at the judging time and we'll work that out.
34:07Pax.
34:08Why were you asking him those questions on the way down?
34:11Just curious.
34:12Oh.
34:13Your list for the five carbs?
34:15I remember it being weird.
34:16I was ranking them based on, on their own, without, so, rice, like, without a curry.
34:22By that logic, I thought potatoes could be a french fry.
34:29I love it when white people sync up.
34:33You like to know their times.
34:34Love to hear their times, thanks Paul.
34:36So, Jackie's attempt took 1 minute 12 seconds.
34:39Mm-hmm.
34:40Pax, 8 minutes 32.
34:41Wow.
34:42Wow.
34:43Nice.
34:44Whoa.
34:45Well done.
34:46Okay, whose domino to send are we seeing next, Paul?
34:48Will they dominate the dominoes or will they dominot?
34:51It's Alice and Jack.
34:55Oh wow, it's a big one.
34:57Okay.
34:59Hold that there, would you?
35:00Okay.
35:01Do you want to stretch to hold this one as well, do you reckon?
35:03No.
35:04Alright, I'm going to the shed to look for some equipment.
35:08Okay.
35:09I'll get a ball and then we make a trail maybe.
35:12This would slowly fill with water and push that out there.
35:16Alright, we're just going to start bringing some balls into the house.
35:20Tub there.
35:21What's the wheelbarrow for?
35:22It's going to have all the balls in it.
35:24Do you want to go stand on the balcony and I'll throw the hose at you?
35:27Uh-huh.
35:28Oh, I touched it.
35:30Yes!
35:31I am going to do a tester.
35:41Shit!
35:42Not ideal.
35:43Okay.
35:44Can you give me a hand with this?
35:45Tell me if you need a break.
35:47I need a break!
35:49So you want it to be a ramp on the stairs?
35:52Spectacular!
35:54Okay, let's go have a test run, eh?
35:56Okay.
35:57Geronimo!
36:01So then you go through that door?
36:08No.
36:09Oh.
36:11I'm feeling deflated.
36:13Taking some more.
36:14Alright, I'll do a test.
36:21No!
36:26What happened?
36:27I lost my cool, I'm sorry.
36:28You've got five minutes.
36:29I've got a last minute idea.
36:31Okay.
36:34I'll start the hose on your signal.
36:36What's my signal?
36:38You yell to me.
36:39Okay.
36:40Okay.
36:41Are you at the hose?
36:42Alice?
36:50Alice?
36:51Yeah?
36:52What are you doing?
36:53I'm waiting for you to put the hose on.
36:54I'm waiting for the signal.
36:55The signal's now.
36:56Well, yell when the signal is...
36:58Hose!
36:59I said hose!
37:02Come on!
37:03All the way!
37:04All the way!
37:05All the way!
37:07Okay!
37:08One more try!
37:10Oh, Paul, it's starting to flood.
37:12Two and ten seconds!
37:16Attach the hose!
37:17Release the ball!
37:23Come on!
37:24No!
37:25I think that's the end of my attempt what happened it's hard to describe
37:36exactly where I went wrong but I think at multiple stages over and over again
37:41thank you Alice thank you Paul
37:46both of you started with quite lofty ideas of how you were going to do it and in the end
37:56it boiled down to a pretty simple idea of just kicking a ball down and hoping that it ran over
38:00the domino I think we should focus on the fact that the task was knock over the domino longest
38:07attempt wins I rest my case Alice I enjoyed when you were carrying the table and you said
38:18if ever you're looking for a break just and then you immediately needed a break I just wanted to
38:25introduce the concept of a break so those guys didn't finish the task yes so Alice and Jack
38:32failed to knock over the dominoes yeah Brie 21 seconds Jackie 1 minute 12 seconds Pax 8 minutes
38:41and 32 seconds okay so in terms of the scoring it's zero for Alice zero for Jack because they
38:48didn't complete the task three for Brie four for Jackie five for Pax Society it's time for a break
38:59but don't go anywhere because when we come back it's the moment we've all been waiting for the
39:04incredible event we've been building towards for years that's right it's the 57th live task of
39:11Taskmaster New Zealand see you soon
39:14good Arnold welcome back to Taskmaster if you're just joining us I hope you're a fan of live tasks
39:31because that's the only bit we've got left but before we get there Paul could you give us a school
39:36board update please in first place with 14 points Jackie van beek hold on up to the stage for the live
39:44task everyone let's get into it right who's reading out the task this time Paul Jackie van beek oh dear
39:55do you do you want me to um I can bite it off oh I'm gonna get these off I'm gonna get these off
40:01yeah unbox the box oh and deliver its contents to the sandbox you must correctly wear your boxing
40:14gloves throughout first to unbox the items and deliver it to the sandbox wins on my whistle
40:20oh I've got it I don't have it I think I've got it oh Paul you bastard oh there's more than one
40:38there's more than one where is it oh oh Jesus can you guys oh there's multiple I thought there was one no oh no
40:51oh they're real eggs
41:05Pax don't be a bully don't talk to me
41:10you you dumb dumb head no Pax that's what a bully would say shut up okay up on stage please
41:17Please.
41:21Is that mine?
41:23Oh.
41:27Take it down, Bree.
41:29Finish the task.
41:29I'm sorry, Bree.
41:31Do you need it?
41:33You got it.
41:41Aw, Bree.
41:42Stop, Bree.
41:44Come on down and we'll score it.
41:47Okay, so two of our contestants did not get all four eggs into the sandbox.
42:00There was four.
42:01Pax got three out of four eggs.
42:03Bree, only two out of four eggs.
42:05Of the other three, it's about the fastest.
42:08Jackie, 22 seconds.
42:10Ooh.
42:11Happy with that.
42:12Alice, 19 seconds.
42:14Ooh, unhappy.
42:16You're taking the puff.
42:17Jack, 40 seconds.
42:19That, that, ass.
42:24So that means one point for Bree, two points for Pax, three points for Jack, four points
42:29for Jackie, and five points for Alice Sneddon.
42:31Okay.
42:33So, should we have a sneaky little peek, Paul, at the series scores?
42:40Of course.
42:41Of course.
42:42Out in first with 111 points, Jackie Van Beek.
42:46Whoa.
42:47Nice, Jackie.
42:48Crazy.
42:49How does she do it?
42:50How does she do it?
42:51So, who has won this episode though, Paul?
42:54That means the winner of episode seven with a monster 18 points, it's Jackie Van Beek.
42:59Congratulations, Jackie.
43:00Go and collect your excellent load chip items and be sure to have the best possible drive home.
43:13Another episode filled with incredible lessons.
43:15We've learnt that Jackie Van Beek is an adult hip hopper.
43:18And no one's crutch is safe around packs in a golf club.
43:23And most importantly, we've learnt that Jackie Van Beek is the winner of episode seven.
43:29We'll see you next time.
43:32Ka kite anō.
43:33Good night.
43:34Yeah!
43:35Woo!
43:36Woo!
43:37Woo!
43:38Woo!
43:39Woo!
43:40Woo!
43:41Woo!
43:42Woo!
43:43Woo!
43:44Woo!
43:45Woo!
43:46Woo!
43:47Woo!
43:48Woo!
43:49Woo!
43:50Woo!
43:51Woo!
43:52Woo!
43:53Woo!
43:53Oh yeah!
43:56Aww yeah!
43:59I just wanted to get those chew-zees in it.
44:02Aww!
44:03Beno!
44:04I will never forgive you!
44:06sistema fare
44:07has fallen on hard times.
44:08Huh?
44:09I know for a fact she's not fallen on hard times!
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