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Taskmaster (NZ) S06 E06 2025

Taskmaster NZ S06 E07 >>> https://dai.ly/x9q6kvo

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Transcript
00:00Oh
00:30Welcome to Taskmaster. My name is Jeremy Wells and earlier this year in a secret conclave
00:41I was selected to be the leader of the Roman Catholic Church. However, I traded that position in to become something far more powerful
00:49And now I am the Taskmaster
00:55Joining me tonight are my faithful Cardinals, Alice Sneddon
01:00Bree Thomas L
01:02Jack Anset
01:04Jackie VanVeet
01:06And Pax Asadi
01:10And by my side, as always, is a man who lives his life in the fast lane
01:15Except at the Glenfield Leisure Centre swimming pool
01:18Who is asked to move to the slow lane
01:21It's Paul Williams
01:25Before we get started tonight, I wanted to read a poem
01:28Would that be okay?
01:30Yeah, absolutely
01:39It's really beautiful
01:42Should we get into the prize task?
01:44Sure thing, Jeremy
01:45Tonight we've asked our contestants to bring in the best thing to snap
01:51Pax Asadi, what did you bring in?
01:53I'm just gonna show you
01:56Oh
01:58Chock thins. They snap on multiple levels
02:00They're thin, so they're very easy to snap
02:02And they make a very satisfying noise when they snap
02:05Second level is that this is my favourite biscuit
02:09So they also snap my will to eat healthy
02:15How long's the packet been open?
02:18That has been in my cupboard for a while
02:20I don't think it would be a snap
02:22No, it wouldn't
02:23That has been opened recently
02:24Oh, so now you know when it was opened
02:27Alice, what did you bring in?
02:29Physical things to snap are exciting
02:31But there's nothing more exciting than sort of an emotional snap
02:36And as a child, what I discovered is that
02:39The ability to provoke a reaction out of one of your siblings
02:42Is bar none the best experience
02:46So I've brought in my sister
02:50Beautiful
02:51Yeah, she doesn't look it but she's a real bitch
02:55Just so you understand the prize task
02:58Your sister is going home with someone tonight who wins the episode
03:01Not only is she going home with someone tonight
03:03But I will tell that person all of her deepest vulnerabilities
03:08Brie, what did you bring in?
03:10Deep down, I'm a country girl at heart
03:13Through and through
03:14Which is why I know the best thing to snap is this
03:19Oh!
03:21Wow!
03:27Do we snap a whip or do we crack a whip?
03:30We crack a whip
03:32Paul, I'd love you to look up the definition of snap
03:35A break suddenly and completely
03:38Typically with a sharp cracking sound
03:43Not bad, not bad
03:45Jackie, what did you bring in?
03:46I realised that by episode six
03:48Everyone would have been becoming very kind of snappy
03:51And kind of mean-spirited
03:53So I have chosen
03:55It's a snap and heat hand warmer that gives you a feeling of warmth that goes from your palm up your arm across kind of here down around your left breast into your heart and just makes you think I'm so lucky to be here with you guys and not snapping at each other and just feeling like I snapped that but now I've got a feeling of warmth in my heart
04:15I feel it
04:16And what does it do to your breast?
04:18Okay, yeah
04:19Can I just say one last word? I just want to give one last word
04:23One word
04:25Positivity
04:28That was the best ending you've had so far, I've got to say
04:31At least it ended
04:32Thank you Jeremy
04:33Jack, what did you bring in?
04:34I think the best thing to snap is these guys
04:38So, using a $250 disguise
04:45I snapped photos of all of these guys without them realising
04:49Here is me next to Alice coming back from the airport
04:55I will not sign a release
04:59Here is me at Pax's comedy show
05:03Did you remember that?
05:04I genuinely remember looking at you thinking
05:09Guy looks weird
05:11Here is me seeing Jackie on a walk with her husband up Mount Eden
05:16And I said to him after we passed you, I was like, whoa
05:20And Jessie was like, what?
05:21And I said, the dude with the beard
05:25The next photo is outside Bree's radio station
05:31How creepy is that?
05:32Wow
05:35This is going to be easy
05:36Pax, one
05:37Because you just bought a pack of biscuits in
05:40Yeah, I knew it
05:41Jackie, two
05:42Because you swung by Costco again on the way here
05:45Three for Alice
05:46I understand what that's like to make a sibling snap
05:49That's quite a good feeling
05:51Bree, cracking the whip
05:52That's quite sexy
05:53I'll give you four
05:54And five for Jack
05:55Because that's very good
05:57That feels good
06:00Feels good
06:01Okay, I really am ready for another task
06:03What have we got?
06:04Ding dong
06:05Did anyone order a task?
06:06Well, here you go
06:15Hi Paul
06:16Hello Jackie
06:17Great to see you again
06:18Hi Paul
06:19Hey
06:20Hey Paul
06:21Oh, lunch
06:22You shouldn't have
06:23Sorry
06:26Deliver this burger to the caravan
06:28Easy
06:29Fastest wins
06:30No problem
06:31You may not throw
06:32Or disrespect the burger
06:34Disrespect the burger?
06:37Don't laugh, that's disrespecting the burger
06:39I'm so sorry
06:40Every time you wish to take a step with the burger
06:42You must first complete one of the 50 steps on Paul's scroll
06:47What scroll?
06:48Oh, that scroll
06:49You may choose which numbered step from the scroll you wish to complete
06:54You may not look at Paul's scroll
06:56Don't look at it
06:57Oh, so I can't even look at it like there?
06:59I'd prefer it if you didn't
07:00Your time starts now
07:03Alright, who's leading the charge with this one Paul?
07:09Stepping up to the plate first, it's Bree and Alice
07:12Number eight
07:13Spin around five times without falling over
07:15Thirteen
07:16Do heads, shoulders, knees and toes
07:19Oh shit Paul
07:20I do the song wrong
07:22Heads and shoulders, knees and toes, we all got hands together
07:29Was that two steps?
07:30That was one
07:31That was one
07:32You stepped with that foot and then you stepped with that foot
07:34I don't believe that to be true
07:35Number six
07:36Say your name backwards
07:37Eerie
07:39Number twelve
07:40Touch two things that rhyme
07:41Red head
07:42Number one
07:43Smile
07:45Fifteen
07:46Balance something on your finger while reciting a nursery rhyme
07:49Mary had a little lamest resource white as snow
07:52Wow
07:53Seventh
07:54Recreate a famous painting using only your body
07:58Twenty-two
07:59Draw yourself riding your favourite animal
08:02That's a huge pig
08:04Number two please
08:05Whisper your middle name ten times
08:07Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie
08:09Thirty-four
08:10Bury an item and give it a moving eulogy
08:13What's that?
08:14It's your pen
08:15Hey
08:16Touch two things that rhyme
08:19Badge
08:21Forty
08:22Balance four stones on top of each other
08:25What?
08:28Okay
08:30It's balanced
08:31Hold on, I haven't even moved the burger once
08:34Yeah
08:35What?
08:37Two
08:38Sing your favourite vegetable
08:39Asparagus
08:42Four
08:43Four
08:44Sit down and then stand up
08:48Tuck
08:49Stop the clock
08:50Thanks Paul
08:51I think there was a few things I could have done better
08:53Like what?
08:55The start, the middle, and the end
08:59Alice
09:00You weren't paying a lot of attention to the task
09:02Because there was that point where you'd forgotten to move the burger
09:06With all due respect to the burger I thought
09:09I'll let you have a little rest
09:12You take it easy for a bit
09:14I'll get the work done
09:15And then I'll bring you up to speed as and when needed
09:19Brie, heads, shoulders, knees and toes
09:21What did you do?
09:22Can you do it?
09:23What was it?
09:24Heads and shoulders, knees and toes
09:26Knees and toes, knees and toes
09:27Heads and shoulders, knees and toes
09:29We all clap hands together
09:31It's in my brain, I can't get rid of it
09:33Is that cause in regional Queensland you have extra knees and toes?
09:37Let's talk times
09:39Alice, 12 minutes and 8 seconds
09:41She completed 14 steps
09:43Rie, 6 minutes and 9 seconds
09:45Wow
09:46She did 11 steps
09:47Okay
09:48This is a great opportunity for us all to get our 10,000 steps in
09:51Why don't you wander around the living room while the ads are playing
09:54And we'll see you after a couple of minutes
10:10Welcome back to Taskmaster
10:11What's going on Paul?
10:12Our contestants are delivering burgers to the caravan
10:15Up next, Dubois
10:17Delivering
10:18A boiga
10:2148
10:22Find three gnomes in the forest
10:24Oh, what?
10:2627
10:27Perform a one minute Shakespearean monologue about sandwiches
10:30Oh, sandwich
10:32Oh
10:33Your lettuce
10:34Mmm
10:35You want that Romeo?
10:36Get that down ya, ya dog
10:39Thank you
10:41Okay
10:4250
10:43Head to the forest on the far side of the lake
10:45And find the lost treasure of the Esperanza
10:47All the way down there?
10:48Are you serious?
10:4932
10:50Make a paper airplane and fly it over the caravan long ways
10:54You've made many paper planes before?
10:56I think this is my third one in my entire life
10:59Wow
11:03Oh, I found an X
11:04Is that it?
11:05Yeah
11:06All for that
11:07The rubber duck egg
11:08I'm gonna YouTube
11:09Really
11:10Good
11:11Paper airplane
11:13He has quite nice hands
11:15Beautiful hands
11:16Like just the right amount of hair
11:1812
11:19I'll go with 12
11:20Touch two things that rhyme
11:21Ass
11:22Grass
11:23Look at this, bro
11:24Honestly, it feels like we're in Top Gear now
11:26Are you Tom Cruise?
11:27Is he on Top Gear?
11:28Top Gear
11:29You mean Top Gun
11:30What's Top Gun?
11:3130
11:32Sing a one minute ballad about one of the other contestants
11:34Jackie Van Big
11:36You are so sleek
11:38Number 49
11:48Float a marble on the lake for one minute
11:504
11:51Sit down and then stand up
11:53It's going in there
11:5412
11:55Touch two things that rhyme
11:56Grass
11:57And
11:58Do I have consent to touch your ass?
11:59Sure
12:00Ass
12:01I ask for consent
12:02You could also just do your own
12:03Stop the clock
12:04Time
12:05Thank you Paul
12:06Thank you Paul
12:07I'll be in here
12:08I'm doing my burger
12:12So just do your own stop the clock
12:22Time thank you Paul. I'll be in here doing my burger
12:34Pax do you regret doing the ass touching you straight to the camera operators ass that cameraman had badonkadonk
12:42It seemed to me that the tasks were getting more and more difficult the tasks were ranked in
12:52Difficulties, why did you say that it was implied?
12:56So one being easiest 50 being the hardest and these guys liked quite high numbers. Yeah, they would explain why I went to the lake two times
13:04So which Shakespearean character was it that said you like that Romeo get it down you your dog
13:15Background peasant ten
13:19Obviously I think we need some stats Paul so Brie was the fastest so far with six minutes and nine seconds
13:25Jack 21 minutes and six seconds
13:28And packs 36 minutes and we spent a lot of time on that paper played YouTube video
13:36Right, we've got one delivery left Paul. Yes, Jeremy. Let's take a peek at the sleek Van Beek
13:42Okay
13:44That's disrespectful not to the burger 27 perform a one-minute Shakespearean monologue about sandwiches for sooth
13:53Where if my bread is?
13:55Hark, there it is in the river near Ophelia. I dive
13:59Dive in and capture her
14:01We're tumbling down the river tumbling down. That's a minute good. Okay. I'm ready Jackie. You're back here. No one. That's what the flag is for
14:10Oh God, okay
14:15Are you disrespecting the burger? Certainly not. So these aren't steps?
14:19I feel like I'm not even touching the foot. Is that a step? No
14:23Is that a step? No, Paul! None of these things are steps!
14:31Oh God
14:33Delivered
14:35Did Jackie disrespect the burger, Paul? I don't think so. She was holding it. She didn't she didn't crush it at any point
14:45Yeah, you didn't seem to disrespect it. I didn't have any ill will towards it. I have some balls, man. Come on
14:52How many steps did you take? Well, she only did one step. It was a Shakespeare monologue and it was pretty good
14:58Thank you. Jackie was four minutes and one second to deliver the burger. Okay, so where does that leave the points then, Paul?
15:05Do we accept Jackie's? Oh, absolutely. Okay. That means one point for Pax, two points for Jack, three points for Alice, four points for Brie, and five points for Jackie Van Beek
15:16I feel like it's a good time to have a look at the scoreboard for the episode. It's pretty tight apart from Pax, who's on two points
15:24In first place with eight points, Brie Thomas-Ell
15:33So we are now past the halfway point in the series. I think it'd be a good time to have a series score update
15:39Leading the pack with 89 points, Brie Thomas-Ell
15:47Okay, Paul, what's the next task? In this task the aim of the game is to aim
15:54Paul?
16:02Paul?
16:04Paul?
16:10Oh, F***!
16:12Oh geez!
16:15Oh! You're insane. You poke someone's eye out.
16:18You've got glasses on.
16:19I said someone's.
16:20What have we got here?
16:27Demonstrate exceptional aim.
16:29Best demonstration of aim wins.
16:32You may choose which attempt to submit.
16:34You have 30 minutes. Your time starts now.
16:36So I can choose what to aim for and what to aim with.
16:40Yes.
16:40Have I got access to a gun?
16:42No.
16:43Do we have a crossbow?
16:44I don't think we have a crossbow.
16:46A ball?
16:47Okay. Should we go look for balls?
16:49Yeah.
16:50Okay.
16:50Let's go look for balls.
16:51You found yours yet?
16:56I'm interested, Alice.
16:57So if we did have a gun on sight, what was your plan?
17:01Have Paul stand under a tree with an apple on top of his head.
17:06And I'd just give it my best.
17:09One of those.
17:11All right, Paul.
17:11Which eagle eye contestants are we going to see first?
17:14Two athletes at the top of their game.
17:16It's Jackie and Alice.
17:18We'll just warm up for a few.
17:20Punished.
17:23I have set out five cones.
17:26One throw from each cone.
17:31Watch out!
17:32Number one.
17:33Oh, God.
17:39That's gone for four into the river.
17:41I will now illustrate my incredible aim.
17:43Yes!
17:43Oh, that's caught!
17:50Okay.
17:51You come stand here.
17:54Yes!
17:55So that's two of two.
17:57Number three.
18:00Are you ready, Paul?
18:01Yes.
18:02Okay, I need you to do one long note for me.
18:07Yes!
18:08I think pitch that up a little bit.
18:11Yeah!
18:12Are you ready, Paul?
18:16Mm-hmm.
18:19Fantastic.
18:20In front of the wicket, Paul.
18:21Actually, let's start without the bat.
18:25Do that!
18:26Good enough.
18:27Let's go again.
18:28You can hold the bat this time.
18:29Left-handed.
18:30That was two in a row.
18:32For five of five.
18:39Five of five.
18:40I don't think it was five of five.
18:41Please, don't do that.
18:45Blow that!
18:47Three in a row.
18:48Patrick.
18:50Do you want a bowl?
18:51Maybe one.
18:52Okay.
18:59She really got a hold of that.
19:01It's too short, Paul.
19:02Don't bounce her with the first delivery.
19:04What do you think?
19:05Pitch it up.
19:12Jackie, you seem surprised that Paul questioned your assessment of five out of five,
19:16considering that your main way of getting the duck off his head was to hit him in the face for the ball.
19:20I think it was five of five, wasn't it?
19:23It was five out of 15.
19:25So in terms of you, Alice, just looking at the way that you came in, you got nice and side on,
19:31I could see the seam was upright.
19:33Not only was the line good, that length was outstanding, very tidy.
19:36And I couldn't disagree with anything you say.
19:40Can I just say sorry, because I'm getting a vibe that you might be a cricket fanatic
19:45and not so much a kind of duck archery fanatic.
19:47But there's a lot of black terminology I don't understand.
19:51All right, I'd like to see a few more tosses, if that's okay, Paul.
19:54Yes, two more tosses.
19:56It's Breein Pax.
19:57Attempt number one.
20:00Success.
20:03Oh, Paul!
20:05Oh!
20:06We can do better.
20:07So sorry, Paul.
20:12I just have to commit.
20:16Go and end up!
20:18Paul!
20:19Get some!
20:21That's two in a row.
20:22Do you want to see if you can get a third?
20:25Oh, so sorry.
20:27I'm just going to try a golf ball, because that's even more impressive, because it's small.
20:30I'm really, legitimately sorry.
20:37Oh!
20:46Can you stop flinching?
20:49It's putting me off.
20:50Sorry.
20:54The pinnacle of TV.
20:56That was so close.
21:08All right, here we go.
21:13Are you joking?
21:15Did that go in?
21:16Yep.
21:20Yes, Paul!
21:22Straight down the pipe!
21:23Well, why did you have a hat and glasses on for Jackie's cars, but not with what Pax was
21:39doing to you?
21:40Well, Jackie put those on me for protection.
21:42I protected Paul!
21:43Very nice.
21:44Why did he need to be there with that thing in his mouth?
21:47I don't f***ing know, man!
21:48I want to say that the hole of the cone was only, like, two to one and a half centimetres
21:56bigger than the ball.
21:57You designed the task.
22:00You're such a smart man.
22:02I think we need some stats, Paul.
22:04So Pax threw 124 throws.
22:07Jeez, did he?
22:07A few of which hit me in the head.
22:10Brie, only 38 attempts, four of which went into the bath.
22:13Yeah, good arm, by the way, Brie.
22:16I don't know about the dancing, but the arm was good.
22:19Right, well, we'll make a base camp here and aim for the summit of this task on the other
22:23side of this ad break.
22:25We'll see you in a tick.
22:27CHEERING
22:27Nau mai anu.
22:40Welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:42We're currently finding out which of our contestants has the best aim, and so far, half of them
22:47seem to be aiming for Paul's face.
22:50Who have we got next, Paul?
22:51He aims to please.
22:52It's Jack Ansett.
22:54Mmm.
22:54Do you have good aim?
22:56No, awful.
22:56But aim isn't just aiming for something, is it?
22:59You know, you could have an aim to, like, inspire youth.
23:02How would you inspire youth?
23:04We could go to the local primary school, and I could do a motivational chat in their classroom.
23:10There is a school.
23:11Yeah, but I'm not sure if we'd be allowed to film in it.
23:14Might be able to get you near it.
23:16Yeah, why not?
23:19All right.
23:20Love it.
23:20Believe you can, and you're halfway there.
23:35Nothing is impossible.
23:37The word itself says, I'm possible.
23:40What does that mean, though?
23:43It means that don't say things are impossible, because the word impossible has I'm possible
23:48in it.
23:48But that doesn't make sense.
23:49I am possible.
23:51Live, laugh, love.
23:53That's what my mum goes by.
23:54It's good to be good, and awful to be awful.
23:58Okay, well, I think I've inspired the youth of tomorrow.
24:01Well, let's get out of here before the police show up.
24:07Okay, so you read some motivational quotes to a fence.
24:10Yeah.
24:11We did not film them, but there were children looking through the classroom window.
24:16Going, there he is, there he is.
24:18Yeah.
24:19And I think they heard me.
24:21As someone who was there.
24:22No, no.
24:25I don't think they could hear him.
24:26Right.
24:26But they did see him.
24:28One point for Jack, talking to a fence.
24:31The crowd is turning on you.
24:35Two points for Jackie, for chucking stuff at your face.
24:40Three points for Pax, for chucking stuff at your face.
24:44Four points for Brie, because that's a good arm.
24:46And you've got to say Alice Snedd and Tidyline and Link.
24:51You got another task for us, Paul?
24:53I do, Jeremy.
24:53And this task is novel, if you get my gist.
24:58Hi, Paul.
25:07Hello, Jackie.
25:08Hi, Paul.
25:09Hello, Pax.
25:12Give it a hoon, hey, Paul?
25:14Get the gist of this book, and then adapt it for the screen.
25:18You have two minutes to get the gist.
25:20One hour to film your adaptation.
25:23Most Faithful Adaptation wins.
25:25Your time starts now.
25:27The Scarlet Pimpernel.
25:29What's a pimpernel?
25:30Like a pimple.
25:31Paris.
25:321792.
25:33Fisherman.
25:34Fisherman?
25:35Secret orchard.
25:37That's a good keyword here.
25:38Vengeance.
25:39Okay, how does it end?
25:40So it ends in a wedding.
25:41Might be a wedding on a yacht, Paul.
25:43At Lord Grenville's Ball.
25:45What did you learn?
25:53It's some kind of French Revolution thing.
25:56And her first name's Scarlet.
25:58Okay.
25:59And her last name's...
26:02What's the book called?
26:03Can't say.
26:04Pimpernel.
26:05I don't know what a pimpernel is, but I took from that pimple.
26:09Have you seen the film?
26:10I saw it when I was a teenager and it was a sleepover.
26:15I was really trying to impress this girl that I quite liked.
26:18She was a nine-year-old Maori girl.
26:21Sporty.
26:22Okay.
26:23Maybe she's sunburned or something?
26:24And that's why your parents...
26:26She's Scarlet?
26:26Yeah, okay.
26:27Is it possible to go black and white except for her face?
26:30Yes.
26:31Well, Schindler's listed.
26:36Okay, Paul.
26:37So none of us have read The Scarlet Pimpernel.
26:40The Scarlet Pimpernel?
26:41Is that what it's called?
26:42Yes.
26:43Okay, that's a bad start.
26:45So just a little bit of background.
26:48The Scarlet Pimpernel is a man who leads a double life.
26:51One as a useless English nobleman
26:53and the other as a hero who rescues French aristocrats
26:57from the guillotine during the reign of terror.
27:00This is going to be real interesting.
27:02Okay, Paul.
27:03Who are we going to see first?
27:04Up first, it's Jacques Ancet.
27:07I do.
27:07I do.
27:07I do.
27:07I do.
27:08I do.
27:08I do.
27:08I do.
27:09Ah, just another day in my secret orchard.
27:13Ah, what a...
27:14Ah, what a...
27:16Is that my beloved?
27:22And that is the fisherman.
27:26She will regret this for the rest of her days.
27:29I, Lord Grenville, invite you to the Pharisee and Balls.
27:38Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
27:42It's a pretty crazy day we had in the orchard the other day.
27:47We?
27:47Yeah, we, yeah. You and me, yeah.
27:50You see? Yeah.
27:51Oh, my esteemed guests.
27:55Welcome.
27:57There's nothing fishy going on here.
27:59Nothing fishy at all going on here.
28:02I saw you in the secret orchard.
28:05What?
28:05With him.
28:07I'm going to react badly now.
28:09No.
28:17Oh, that's my ick.
28:32Red noses.
28:34See ya.
28:35He's never going to want you ever again, dear fisherman.
28:38I forever now brand you with the name
28:40The Scarlet Pimple now.
28:44Okay.
28:46Au revoir.
28:47Au revoir.
28:57Credit where credit's due.
28:59Strong performance from the main French character, played by you.
29:02Yeah, I'm not going to say even I know what was going on.
29:06I think it was pretty bloody good.
29:08In fairness to you, I'm almost too afraid to criticise it
29:11because I can't remember what I did.
29:13Who's up next, Paul?
29:15Here's a silent movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:17I don't know.
29:18I don't know.
29:18Here's a silent movie from Alice Sneddon.
29:21I don't know.
29:21You're up next.
29:22What are they doing?
29:24I don't know.
29:25You're up next.
29:26I don't know.
29:27I don't know.
29:27Yeah.
29:27I don't know.
29:58So I've written down there's a sunburnt woman
30:27who everyone laughs at.
30:29She finds a man to hook up with.
30:31She doesn't give him a book,
30:32so he calls her a sluzzer.
30:34He apologises and she promises to obey him
30:37for the rest of her life.
30:38No, I think obviously there's more nuance to it than that.
30:41We have loyalty through the betrayal,
30:43that theme is represented.
30:45We have romance, you know,
30:46love, the road to love is rough.
30:50So what did that have to do with the French Revolution?
30:54Oh, it's all just set during it.
30:58We're going to pause right there
30:59so that you at home could envision
31:00what your life would be like
31:02with a brand new car
31:03or some heavily discounted furniture.
31:05Hopefully these ads will help you with that.
31:07And we'll see you on the other side.
31:08Welcome back to Taskmaster,
31:24the only show brave enough to ask the question,
31:26what is a Pimpernel?
31:28Remind us, what task are we in the middle of, Paul?
31:31Our contestants have been given two minutes
31:33to get the gist of a novel,
31:35The Scarlet Pimpernel,
31:36and then adapt it for the screen.
31:38Now let's get back to Paris
31:40with Parisis...
31:42with Pa...
31:43with Parisa...
31:44Paxi-sati.
31:47I don't want to torture you,
31:49you know that, right?
31:50Then don't torture me.
31:51I have to, because I'm British.
31:54I will never join the British.
31:56Also, why is your daughter here?
31:58It's weird for her to be here
32:00while I'm torturing you.
32:01She goes everywhere with me.
32:03Papa.
32:05All right.
32:06What's that over there?
32:07What? What is it?
32:11Oh, blimey.
32:14Papa, we got away.
32:15Yes, we did.
32:16What do we do now?
32:18What we were born to do.
32:20Be French.
32:31It's so fun being French.
32:44I caught ya.
32:45There's only one thing left for us to do.
32:48Baguette fight.
32:49All right, you're on.
32:51Baguette fight it is.
32:52Hold up.
32:55Stop.
32:57Hold on.
32:57Stop this.
32:59What?
32:59I have to tell you something.
33:01What is it?
33:01I'm in love with your daughter.
33:04Oh my God, you're in love with my daughter.
33:07That's right.
33:08Let's go.
33:10Should we take your father?
33:12No.
33:13All right.
33:14He seems weird anyway.
33:15Yes, he's a strange man.
33:22So the most French things that you could think of doing was to look at the Eiffel Tower,
33:26to smoke cigarettes, and then to eat pasta, Italian food.
33:30A journey through Europe.
33:32Aren't the dogs that kiss French?
33:35No.
33:37I've never had an audience yell, no.
33:40Wasn't that your daughter that your lady in the tramping with?
33:44Yeah, they're French.
33:46They love incest.
33:48Who's up next, Paul?
33:50Representing the French region of Brie, it's Brie.
33:56Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony.
34:02All right.
34:03I guess we'll do this soon.
34:05Someone sent a poopernickel on the deck.
34:08It's finally got a reddish tinge to it.
34:11Like they've been drinking a lot of beetroot juice.
34:13And I know Lady Blackney's been on a five-day cleanse.
34:17What?
34:19That's...
34:19That's crazy.
34:21Lady Blackney.
34:22How dare you?
34:23Is this true?
34:24Fine.
34:26It was I.
34:27I decided to ruin this wedding by...
34:30defecating on the deck.
34:32I told you why we can't get married.
34:34We're related.
34:36It'd be weird and shit.
34:38I knew you'd say that.
34:39And so I've been researching our family tree.
34:42It turns out we are all cousins.
34:45What?
34:46Everybody on this boat.
34:48I guess if you guys are cool with it, I'm happy to have a family reunion.
34:52You know what I mean?
34:54Not really.
34:55Like we just make it a cousin three-way.
34:58Colour me interested.
35:00I'm keen.
35:00You keen for that?
35:01Yeah.
35:01I mean if you...
35:02All right.
35:03Come on you big bitch.
35:04Let's go.
35:05Just three?
35:05Okay.
35:06Come on Lady Blackney.
35:09The Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:17Okay Bree, so according to you, the Scarlet Pimpernel was set on a boat in Bermuda in the early 1900s.
35:24Like Alice was saying, there was loyalty.
35:27Please don't drag me into this.
35:30Romance?
35:31There was definitely romance.
35:32Well the romance was a cousin on cousin orgy.
35:34Yeah.
35:36And there would be people watching right now that are sitting next to their cousin.
35:41Saying, wow.
35:43What they'd be saying according to you is, come on you big bitch, let's go.
35:52Okay, who's our last Pimpernel?
35:54She's our only contestant who has some existing knowledge of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:59It's Jackie Van Beek.
36:00My favourite place in the world.
36:02Video easy Johnsonville, Randy.
36:05I love it as well.
36:06What about this one?
36:08Oh, it's called the Scarlet Pimpernel.
36:10It's about the French people and then, oh there's a marriage.
36:14Oh, I love romances.
36:16Do you like romances, Randy?
36:18I love romance.
36:19Oh, this sounds amazing.
36:21Oh my gosh, can you feel it?
36:23It's shaking.
36:24Oh, don't lose your grip.
36:26I can't hold on, Jackie.
36:27But you're sporty.
36:29Oh my gosh.
36:38Well, we seem to be in another time and place.
36:40Oh, it's freezing.
36:41This doesn't really make sense though because, I mean, I thought we were meant to be in France.
36:45Oh God.
36:46Oh.
36:48I think we've got to go.
36:48Wait, the book.
36:50Yes.
36:50What, the DVD, the VHS.
36:52The VHS.
36:55Go.
36:55Get it.
36:56Oh my God, it's got it.
36:57It's got it.
37:01Randy.
37:04Randy.
37:06Wait a minute.
37:06You're not Randy.
37:07Bonjour, mademoiselle.
37:09I am the Scarlet Pimpernel.
37:11But I'm looking for Randy, my friend from Johnsonville from 1984.
37:14I do not know what you're talking about.
37:16All I know is we have to go to the ball now.
37:18Why would I go to the ball with you though, Scarlet Pimpernel?
37:21Because I love you.
37:22Oh my God.
37:23And I want to marry you.
37:24Oh no, but my heart's with Randy.
37:26I do not care about this.
37:27All I care about is you.
37:29My heart's with Randy.
37:30I've just got to find a way to get back to Johnsonville.
37:32So see you later, buster.
37:34Au revoir.
37:35Au revoir.
37:36No, how will I get back to Johnsonville?
37:47What an ending.
37:48Thanks where it ends.
37:50What an ending.
37:51Okay, I've got a couple of questions.
37:53Where did you go in the, where was the intermediate place with the beer?
37:57Yeah, Arctic.
37:58It was the Arctic.
37:58Why were you in the Arctic?
37:59Because portals are crazy.
38:02I absolutely loved it.
38:04I was riveted, but it is unbelievable that you're the only one of us with pre-existing knowledge.
38:10Okay, none of them had anything to do with the Scarlet Pimpernel.
38:13I kind of have to vote on things that were the closest to the Scarlet Pimpernel, I think.
38:17Right.
38:17In that context, I think, Bree, the fact that you set yours in Bermuda in the 1900s probably
38:23means that you get one point.
38:24Alice, there was no mention of the Pimpernel at all, so you get two points.
38:28That is an oversight.
38:29Three points to Jack, because there was some French stuff in there.
38:35This might seem crazy, but I'm going to give four points to Jackie.
38:39What?
38:39Because it had the Scarlet Pimpernel in it.
38:41How many times in that book does a portal pop up?
38:44I know.
38:46And finally, I'll give five points to Pax, because there was a lot of French stuff going
38:50on, and there was some escaping going on.
38:55Time for an air break.
38:56It will take a few minutes, so it should be enough time for you at home to speed read
39:00War and Peace.
39:01I think that's a good idea.
39:02We'll see you in a moment.
39:03Welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:18Can I get a scoreboard update, please, Paul?
39:20Currently a three-way tie, all on 13 points.
39:23Jackie, Bree, and Alice.
39:26Wow.
39:27They've picked up.
39:28I've got to say, Paul, what a great group of contestants we've got this season.
39:33And do you know, they're all great listeners.
39:36Very true, Jeremy.
39:37I have a fun story, actually.
39:38Very fun story.
39:40You piece of shit.
39:43I don't know what?
39:43What do you know that I don't know?
39:45What have you just done?
39:46Let him finish.
39:48During their tasks at the house, there was a small technical difficulty.
39:53And during that technical difficulty, I told them each an identical story that they all
39:58listened to and loved.
40:00No.
40:01Oh, no.
40:01Could you please put on the air muffs that are under your seats?
40:04Oh, no.
40:05This is like torture.
40:06Oh.
40:07Enjoy my story.
40:09Two Fridays ago, I went to Whangarei.
40:13Oh.
40:14And I went to the supermarket.
40:16Yeah.
40:17Then this elderly woman approached me.
40:19Okay.
40:20Well, she wasn't elderly.
40:21She was...
40:21My age.
40:22She was a 63.
40:24Okay.
40:25A little bit older than me.
40:26And she had this wild pink and purple dress on.
40:30And she asked if I could reach the top shelf.
40:34God, that made you feel good.
40:35And get the boysenberry jam.
40:36Uh-huh.
40:37But then when I got it down, she asked how much it was.
40:40And it was $5.90.
40:42And she only had $3.
40:44I didn't know what to do.
40:45Yeah.
40:46I was like, would the strawberry jam suffice?
40:49Yeah.
40:50So the strawberry jam is only $3.
40:52Right.
40:52Which is how much money she had.
40:54But she didn't like strawberry jam.
40:56So she just left.
40:57Are we ready?
41:03Yes, ma'am.
41:04I would like a pen and paper.
41:06How come?
41:07Because I want to write down your stupid little story.
41:09I didn't tell a stupid little story.
41:11You did.
41:12About a 63-year-old woman in a bread aisle.
41:15I told an interesting story.
41:16She wanted some jam that cost $5.90, but she only had $3.
41:21So then you got her the strawberry jam, and you were in Whangaday.
41:24You were in Whangaday two weeks ago, where you met an elderly woman who was 63 years old.
41:30And she wanted some jam, but she only had $3.
41:35Okay.
41:36Wasn't that lovely?
41:37You guys can all take your earmuffs off now.
41:39Wow.
41:40And head up to the stage for the final task.
41:43Oh, my God.
41:47Okay, Paul.
41:48Who's reading the task tonight?
41:49Pax Asadi.
41:51Recount Paul's story.
41:52Most accurate recounting wins.
41:55You have 30 seconds to recount.
41:57Headphones on and sit down, please.
41:59Oh, my God.
42:01Jack?
42:02For Christmas, I would like...
42:06Sit in the chair.
42:07Yeah, I regret that, too.
42:09Um...
42:11Paul said to me, in the strictest of confidence...
42:17He...
42:19He...
42:21He...
42:22He...
42:23He...
42:24He...
42:25He...
42:26He was in London with his flatmates.
42:29In my mother's negligee.
42:31And one of them came into his bedroom late at night.
42:34They didn't have a family dog, so they made him the family dog.
42:38And...
42:40And they tried to milk him.
42:42They were halfway through, and then he was like...
42:44My...
42:45My mother died...
42:46In a horrible...
42:48Parachute crash...
42:51In...
42:52Nicaragua.
42:55But then it all worked out fine, and he's really happily married now.
42:58And that is pretty much the story.
43:08Alice.
43:09I believe the story is about how Paul went to Whangarei for two weeks.
43:14He went to a supermarket.
43:15It might have been in New World.
43:17And there was a lady there, and she was wearing a top.
43:20It might have been purple.
43:21And I think something was cheaper at the supermarket in Whangarei than it was at the supermarket in Auckland.
43:26And I can't remember how much.
43:28I'm going to say $2.15.
43:30And then, um...
43:31Paul had a great time.
43:33Um...
43:36Ah!
43:40Did I do it?
43:41Ha ha!
43:43Woo!
43:45Killing me that I can't hear!
43:47This is the greatest moment of my life!
43:49Ha ha!
43:50Ha ha!
43:51All right, everyone can take their headphones off.
43:53And we'll head down and score it.
43:58So what do you reckon about that, Paul?
44:00I mean, one of them was pretty good.
44:02Ha ha!
44:04Aww!
44:05I would say one point to everybody other than Alice, who I think probably deserves five points.
44:10Okay.
44:11Wow.
44:12I'll take it.
44:13I love it.
44:16So, in terms of the episode scores, Paul, where are we sitting?
44:19The winner of episode six, with 18 points...
44:22Ooh!
44:23Alice Sneddon!
44:24Woo!
44:27Congrats.
44:28Congratulations, Alice.
44:29Please head up to the stage and claim your snappable things!
44:33Woo!
44:36See you next time.
44:37Mā te wa.
44:41That's my picture!
44:43Woo!
44:44Woo!
44:45Woo!
44:46Woo!
44:47Yeah!
44:55This is one of the great redemption stories of Taskmaster.
44:58No, no, no, no!
44:59Ah!
45:00I'm feeling deflated.
45:02At least I look cool in all these tasks.
45:04Oh, please.
45:05I'm a fantastic sports person!
45:09Razzle, brazzle, baby.
45:10Yes!
45:11Yes!
45:12Yes!
45:13Finished!
45:14Finished!
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