- 5 months ago
UPDATE ON THE HOTTEST SHOWS AT THE MOMENT.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Pull!
00:02Pull!
00:12Yes!
00:14Come on, ma'am.
00:16Au revoir!
00:20Yah! Oh, no!
00:22Ha ha ha!
00:24Ooh!
00:26Ah!
00:28Tēnā koutou katoa.
00:32Welcome to Taskmaster,
00:34the show where five comedians are given a living wage,
00:38and in exchange, at least three times a year,
00:40for the rest of their lives, they will wake up in a cold sweat,
00:44remembering how they couldn't find a camera that was made of cake.
00:48My name is Jeremy Wells,
00:50and I am the Taskmaster.
00:52My name is Jeremy Wells,
00:54and I am the Taskmaster.
00:58Joining me tonight are our Season 6 contestants.
01:02Alice Sneddon,
01:04Brie Thomasell,
01:06Jack Ansex,
01:08Jackie Van Beek,
01:10and Pat Sasadi.
01:12And, as always,
01:16sitting next to me,
01:18a man who doesn't like sparkling water because he thinks it's too spicy,
01:22is Paul Williams!
01:28For tonight's prize task,
01:30hmm,
01:32that's odd.
01:33It says here that the prize category is, uh,
01:36the best present for Paul.
01:38Hmm.
01:40Hmm.
01:41Jack,
01:42what have you brought in, the best present for Paul?
01:44Well, Jeremy, um, Paul,
01:46he's always having to assist you.
01:48Yes.
01:49So, the best present for Paul that I've brought in,
01:51is, um,
01:53his own assistant.
01:55He's called Craig.
01:57Um,
01:58yeah,
01:59and he's actually here,
02:00we're gonna bring him out.
02:01Big round of applause for,
02:02yeah.
02:03Oh, wow!
02:04Oh my God, amazing.
02:05Amazing.
02:06He's got a whip!
02:08Oh, yeah.
02:09Yeah, yeah, yeah,
02:11he has a whip in case, you know,
02:13he gets out a laugh.
02:14Give it to Paul.
02:18Try it.
02:19What shall I say?
02:20You piece of s-word.
02:26Okay, you'll get better.
02:27Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean that.
02:29It's okay.
02:30Okay.
02:31Fantastic outfit, by the way.
02:34Same to you.
02:37Jackie,
02:38what did you bring in for Paul?
02:39Craig's just gonna sit there?
02:40Yeah.
02:41I like it.
02:42I love it.
02:43I would prefer Craig to be present for this.
02:44Yeah.
02:46Now, everybody knows I have such a strong love for Paul,
02:50but I find him incredibly low energy,
02:53like to a dangerous level.
02:55So in order to keep you alive,
02:58I am gifting you this.
03:02A defibrillator.
03:03This is for you, Paul.
03:04Or the person next to you that needs to use it on you.
03:06Craig.
03:07Craig.
03:08Craig, this is for you.
03:10Craig, are you medically trained?
03:12I can be.
03:13Yeah.
03:16Craig, he's killing it.
03:18Pax, best present for Paul.
03:20When we were shooting the tasks,
03:21I discovered that Paul is a loose fan of Formula One,
03:24so I've bought this for Paul.
03:26Oh.
03:27I've just genuinely bought a cool gift for Paul.
03:30That screams of a gift that you want yourself,
03:33and then you've bought for someone else,
03:34hoping that they might invite you around to their house
03:36to play with it later on.
03:38Yeah, I would love to play Vroom Vroom F1 cars with Paul.
03:42Alice, what did you bring in?
03:44Oh, so Paul and I are friends.
03:47Fair enough.
03:48And Paul's recently moved from London,
03:51where I live, back to New Zealand,
03:54and he left his blender,
03:57and I was going to bring that back for him,
03:59and I forgot.
04:00So instead, I've got him a different blender.
04:04Oh.
04:05That looks used.
04:07I believe in sustainability.
04:11Bri.
04:12Jeremy, what do you get a man that has everything?
04:15Lucky we don't have to answer that question,
04:18because it's Paul, and he has nothing.
04:20Um...
04:21Paul, I know you've always really wanted a dog,
04:24and I have dogs,
04:26and I'm not giving them to you,
04:28but I have made you a custom calendar of my dogs.
04:31Oh, wow.
04:33That's Whitney Houston on the left,
04:36and Meryl Streep on the right.
04:38And can we look at January, please?
04:41Uh, February?
04:45March?
04:48That's an action shot, Jeremy.
04:51April?
04:52They're themed.
04:54May?
04:55That's a lovely one.
04:56June?
04:57July?
04:58September?
04:59October?
05:00November?
05:01November?
05:02And, of course, another themed one for December.
05:05Oh.
05:06Which is beautiful.
05:07Now, you may think,
05:08oh, I've missed a month,
05:09but, Paul,
05:10I know that your birthday is August the 7th,
05:13and I've went all out for this.
05:15Here's August.
05:17Oh.
05:22Yes, no, you can clap.
05:23Wow.
05:24Amazing.
05:25That's really good.
05:26Yeah.
05:27Thank you, Bree.
05:28Thanks, all of you.
05:29I love my gifts.
05:30You're welcome.
05:31No worries, mate.
05:32No problem, man.
05:33Jackie, one point.
05:34Wow.
05:35You don't need a defibrillator.
05:36You'll be fine.
05:37Two points for Alice,
05:39three points for Pax,
05:41four points for Bree.
05:42I'll take it.
05:43And five points for Jack Ansett.
05:45Oh, well done.
05:50Get out of here.
05:51Get out of here.
05:52You f***.
05:54Oh, that's for you, I guess.
05:59Let's get on with the show, then, shall we?
06:01I think I'm in the mood for a real task, Paul.
06:03Sure thing, Jeremy.
06:04This one is a numbers game.
06:15Hi, Paul.
06:16Hello, Jackie.
06:17Oh, God.
06:18Great.
06:21Hello, Alice.
06:22Hey, Paul.
06:23Oh, what do we have here?
06:28Create new numbers.
06:30Best new numbers wins.
06:32Your new numbers.
06:34Oh.
06:35Must replace the numbers.
06:37Zero through to nine.
06:39And must have both a symbol and a written name.
06:42You have 12 minutes.
06:43Your time starts now.
06:51There's nothing more threatening to a group of comedians than Matt's, in my experience.
06:55Who are we going to watch first?
06:56We'll be seeing our top five contestants this series.
07:00It's all of them.
07:02Quite a detailed number.
07:03Yeah, but have you seen hieroglyphics?
07:05Oh, you're trying to make it breasts.
07:07Have you not seen many?
07:08To me, that looks like maybe an owl.
07:10How do you pronounce that?
07:11Yeah.
07:12What are things you have won of?
07:14You're asking me?
07:15Yeah.
07:16Friend?
07:17Friend, do you?
07:18Yeah.
07:19Oh, I'm so sorry.
07:20It's not me, is it?
07:21No.
07:22That would be embarrassing.
07:23Oh, yeah.
07:24You've got nine minutes and jiggy seconds left.
07:29I'm going to do word association, okay?
07:31Do it with me.
07:32Okay.
07:33Four.
07:34Hump.
07:35Okay.
07:40Are you going to make me remember these for another task?
07:43No.
07:44But when the eye...
07:45It's quite scary to look you in the eye.
07:47Promise?
07:48I don't make promises.
07:52Word association.
07:53Three.
07:54Pull.
07:55Pull.
07:56Shake.
07:57Do that look more like breasts?
08:00I think that's an owl looking down.
08:03Five.
08:04Okay.
08:05Corpse.
08:06So when I was five years old, I pissed my pants at school.
08:11And the image is some pants soaked in piss.
08:16Six.
08:17Six.
08:18The devil's number.
08:19Posking.
08:20My posking.
08:21You're going to make me do a maths equation with this or something, aren't you?
08:23No.
08:24I despise maths.
08:25Okay.
08:26You happy with that?
08:27I'm stoked.
08:28Yeah.
08:29I'm happy.
08:30Should I say a number and then you say it?
08:31Yeah.
08:3248.
08:33Far out.
08:34I mean, it makes life really difficult.
08:35How do you say 7-Eleven?
08:36Six men.
08:37Oh yeah.
08:38Oh yeah.
08:39Oh yeah.
08:40I better never see these again in my life.
08:43I want to know more about this urinating your pants story, Alice.
08:44We were all seated on the side of the concrete basketball court and I was busting to go
09:12and the teacher wouldn't let me go and I just pissed.
09:15And the piss went all the way down underneath everyone in the classroom's legs.
09:20And then someone said, oh, someone pissed.
09:23And I said, wasn't me.
09:28I need a moment to wrap my head around these breakthroughs in maths.
09:31So let's have an ad break and I'll see you shortly.
09:42And you're welcome back to Taskmaster.
09:48Before the break, our contestants developed entirely new counting systems and it all seemed
09:56pretty straightforward.
09:57We probably need to have a look at them if that's okay, Paul.
09:59Sure thing Jeremy.
10:00Here is paxes.
10:01as Pax's. Okay I'll describe that as eight anthropomorphized amoebas in the dark abyss of
10:09the heart. There on the right it's got an inside of a school desk in the 1990s kind of vibe. Yeah
10:15I did think about doing a big detailed cock but um that would have really topped off the school
10:21desk energy. Here's Jackie's. Oh fun. It's got a hieroglyphic sort of a feel to it. I like eight
10:28tasteful side boob. Yes. Thank you. What about Jack's? Yes. Okay. So I worked out that the number 6729
10:40would be Hosking Pride Balls Yum Yum. Absolutely yes. Bree's? Filthy Bree actually I've got to say.
10:51Change looks like someone from Invercargill pulling the finger.
10:58And lastly it's Alice's. What is the symbol for hey? It's a sandal because hey reminded me of
11:09Jesus which is the Spanish word for Jesus and Jesus wore sandals.
11:15Of course. Of course. So I've got to score these somehow. I would say that Jack and Pax essentially
11:23you guys both get two points. Just looks from my perspective like an insane load of crap.
11:29Alice some merit. I'll give you three points. Thank you. Jackie cohesive in its childish simplicity
11:35I thought. Thank you. Four points for you and I like the sexual undertones of Bree's to be honest.
11:40How are we going to go with the scores now Paul? Alice is on piss.
11:48Bree is on taint. Jack is on pride. Jackie is on corpse. And Pax is on aha.
11:55Very good Paul.
11:56Wow. Want to do another task? Let's do another task. Okay.
12:00What's important to know about this task is that it was filmed a couple weeks after that last task.
12:10Hello Alice. Paul. Wee! Hi Paul. Mandarin. Thank you. Why are you standing so close to me?
12:21You don't like it? It's alright. Score 43 points playing the duck toss. Oh that sounds fun. Closest to 43 wins.
12:30You must throw from the spot and you cannot move the spot or the duck receptacle. You have until you think
12:38you've scored 43 points. Your time starts now. Oh I see. So I have to throw them in these things?
12:46Mm-hmm. What is this shit?
12:51How do I know which each one's worth? Well it's written on it. You don't recognize those symbols?
12:57Oh no. Are they all mine? Oh god Paul. So you remember all your numbers? I remember doing that exercise.
13:08Ohhhh. Do you want me to hold for that? Excuse me. Excuse me.
13:21Huh? Sorry. Could you mind not doing that for a little bit? I don't get one thing to myself.
13:28It's a mess here. I'm living. It's a mess. We're just doing a task right now. Excuse me.
13:33I'll just do this bit. Just let her do that bit.
13:37What? I will never forgive you. To be honest, there's a lot more than I thought so I might, yeah.
13:43Okay. Hey guys. Thank you.
13:48Alice, I can't believe you berated a member of the Taskmaster staff.
13:52Rosemary Fair has fallen on hard times and she needed that work.
13:56I know for a fact she's not fallen on hard times.
14:00Now I feel like it's time for our contestants to be hoist on their own petards.
14:05What did you just call me?
14:08You guys didn't think that that was going to come back, did you?
14:10I would just like to say that I thought it would come back and I said it loads of times to Paul.
14:14You are definitely not hoisted on a petard.
14:16No, you are not.
14:18Who are we seeing first?
14:19You can count on these guys when it comes to counting. It's Jack and Bree.
14:24Hiya!
14:27And I think that's how it's going to go for the rest of the time.
14:29Hey, we got one!
14:31Do you know, when I dropped maths in year 11, I said to Mrs. Beard,
14:35see you later, lady. You're not going to need this ever again in my life.
14:38And she went, never disrespect maths. You never know when you're going to need it.
14:41And that's that moment.
14:42Do you want to apologise to Mrs. Beard?
14:44I'm so sorry, Mrs. Beard. Maybe we can meet up for coffee or something like that.
14:47If she's still alive. Anyway.
14:51Oh, shit. So now I'm minus nine.
14:55Boobies!
14:57I reckon that's two.
14:59No!
15:00We're on minus 16 right now.
15:02Let's go.
15:05Plus heart. I knew I should have written this down.
15:07Come on, Hosking.
15:09Booyah!
15:10Okay, now we're on minus three.
15:13Where do you think you're currently at?
15:1428.
15:15And we're going for the dog in the middle.
15:19At least I'm good at one thing, the throwing.
15:2113 again. Let's go 13 again.
15:23Oh, no, that's 16.
15:26So what am I on?
15:27Let's go for another six.
15:2840.
15:29I kind of feel like boobies would be a three.
15:31But we're going for the titties!
15:33Oh, back to 34.
15:35I think we're on 29, Paul.
15:37Okay, let's just go for another 16 and then we can work our way back, okay?
15:41Paul, get out of the way.
15:45Go in!
15:46Shit!
15:47What do you think you're on now?
15:48I have not one clue.
15:5245.
15:53We need minus two.
15:55Okay, happy with that.
15:56Lock it in.
15:57Bring it home, bring it home.
16:03Anything to say to Mrs. Baird?
16:04Didn't need you after all.
16:10Did I get the right amount?
16:1143 was the correct amount.
16:12Right, okay.
16:13You seem to remember your number system quite well.
16:15Yeah.
16:16Yeah, I just zoned in on the ones that I knew and tried my best to ignore the others.
16:21That was quite smart.
16:22You knew Hosking was the devil's number.
16:23I did remember that, yes.
16:25So Jack, obviously 46, so pretty close.
16:28Pretty close.
16:29And Brie, 19.
16:30You were a little breast heavy.
16:32I was.
16:32I was just so zoned in on the, on the Tatas and I just wanted to get those chuzzies.
16:37And why wouldn't you?
16:40You know what I'm talking about.
16:40Oh, I know exactly what you mean.
16:41Yeah, totally.
16:42Okay, who's next, Paul?
16:43Getting their ducks in a row.
16:45It's Ducks Asadi and Quacky Van Beek.
16:48I'm going to start with, yes, exactly what I wanted.
16:53Humps now.
17:02I think that's four.
17:03It's divided by a pill.
17:05How many zeros can fit into pill?
17:07Zero pills.
17:08What I'm going to do is I'm going to whack right down into the negatives and then bounce up to 43.
17:14How far into the negatives are you going to go?
17:16Just not too much further.
17:17Okay.
17:20That's not good.
17:23Yep.
17:26Oh, so that's plus whatever that one is.
17:30This is, what are we doing here, Paul?
17:33And I think we're going to need one more biggie.
17:35Oh, we definitely need a hump.
17:37Hump.
17:38How many times that?
17:39Because what am I at now?
17:45So what kind of number would you be happy with?
17:47I don't know.
17:5543.
17:58Oh, yep, yep, yep, yep.
17:59Okay.
17:59And done.
18:0243.
18:03Oh man, my brain.
18:05That's crazy.
18:06But I got that.
18:0743.
18:08Are you sure it's 43?
18:09Um, yeah.
18:17Jackie, in some ways your new number system actually made it quite pleasant because you did not have a clue how badly you were doing.
18:23No, I just focused on positivity.
18:26And when I felt like I'd got it, I was like, I'm out.
18:28I did it.
18:30And I truly felt like I believed that.
18:32Do you still believe it?
18:33I don't now that I've seen the numbers.
18:35Yeah.
18:37Pax, I would say apologize to Paul for lashing out at him, but that throw was so piss weak.
18:43Yeah, I didn't want to hurt Paul, but I wanted to show him that I was annoyed.
18:47What were the numbers in the end, Paul?
18:48So, Pax, 2,803.
18:51And Jackie, uh, negative 59,929.
18:56Here we go.
18:57Okay, that is way too much counting.
18:59So, let's let our brains just cool down for a while while these ads try to grab your attention.
19:04We'll see you in a moment when Taskmaster returns.
19:20Welcome back to Taskmaster.
19:21For the break, our contestants were counting with their bespoke number systems.
19:25And Paul, I believe there's one more number cruncher to see.
19:29Last, but not Elise.
19:31It's Alice.
19:33I'll be back.
19:37What's on the paper?
19:39Key to your numbers.
19:40Yeah.
19:42Come here.
19:43Me?
19:44I'm supposed to be.
19:45Working.
19:45What are you up to?
19:47You're here visiting your nan.
19:49Do you have no shame?
19:51Giving up family time to steal my lifeline.
19:57Get out!
20:03Maybe I'll just start with one and see where I end up.
20:06Okay.
20:09Okay, so minus 10.
20:12So that's minus 19.
20:14Okay, let's go for plus piss.
20:17Go on minus again.
20:18So I'm at minus 40.
20:25Minus 51.
20:30Oh no.
20:31You love these minuses.
20:33I have to plus my way out of it.
20:36Minus 51.
20:38Minus 40.
20:39Minus 29.
20:42Minus 29 divided by 14.
20:45So it's basically negative 2.
20:46No.
20:48No.
20:49We're really loving the moment.
20:50They're shut up.
20:51Okay.
20:51Negative 5.
20:55Negative 5 divided by 14.
20:57Roughly 0.3.
20:59No, Alice.
21:00So I'm at negative 3.3.
21:02I'm just going to go for a piss too.
21:04Feel free to go for a piss at any time.
21:06Oh my god.
21:08Come on.
21:09That's it.
21:09That's it.
21:11What are you going for?
21:12Five.
21:12She's looking for piss.
21:15Free to go.
21:15Plus hey.
21:17She's in.
21:20Thank you, Alice.
21:21Yeah, feel free to piss any time.
21:27Well done on being the only contestant to write down their numbers.
21:31I don't trust Paul.
21:32I've got to say, Mrs. Baird would be very impressed.
21:37I see you went for the Van Beek technique early, which is to go into the negatives.
21:41Yeah.
21:42I mean, I wouldn't call that a technique so much as a catastrophic event.
21:46Shall we have a look at the scores, Paul?
21:48Alice, extremely impressive.
21:50The target was 43.
21:52She got to 42.6.
21:56Where does that leave the scores?
21:58One point for Jackie.
21:59Two points for Pax.
22:00Three points for Bree.
22:01Four points for Jack.
22:02And five points for Alice Sneddon.
22:07I am craving another task, Paul.
22:10I know how tangry you get.
22:14It's hangry, but for tasks.
22:16So let's get the party started.
22:25Oh, Paul.
22:28Hi, Paul.
22:29Yes, please.
22:33That's wrong.
22:36Oh.
22:44Perform a party trick.
22:47Most impressive party trick wins.
22:50Your party trick cannot last more than 30 seconds.
22:54You have until the studio record of episode eight.
22:58Your time starts now.
23:00Can you do any party tricks currently?
23:03I can dislocate my left shoulder.
23:05You want to see that?
23:05No, not at all.
23:07No, not at all.
23:07No, not at all.
23:08No, not at all.
23:09Can you hit my hand?
23:11Ah!
23:12You son of a bitch, Paul.
23:20Pretty cool, eh?
23:21Really good.
23:23Oh, this is going to be fun.
23:25So how long have these guys had to prepare their party tricks?
23:27At least five weeks.
23:28All right.
23:29I think we're going to start with Bree.
23:31Oh, no.
23:32Okay, Bree.
23:32So go up on the stage.
23:33Perform your trick.
23:34Oh, no.
23:52Wow.
23:53Whoa.
23:54Yeah.
23:58Wow.
24:03Oh.
24:03Oh!
24:04Woo!
24:14I'd hate to follow that act, to be honest.
24:17Alice?
24:18Oh, come on.
24:19You're up next.
24:20All right.
24:21Go, Alice.
24:24This is a game of three card Monty.
24:27These are also cherries.
24:28I will be tying a knot on this while we do it.
24:33Anything in there?
24:35She's wearing a wire.
24:39Okay, so this is going in.
24:40So, all you need to do is follow the queen.
24:46See that?
24:47Mm-hmm.
24:48You want to see that?
24:49There we go.
24:50Don't lose concentration.
24:51All right?
24:52Where's the queen?
24:56Whoa!
24:59And there you go.
25:00Isn't that incredible?
25:03It's not it.
25:05Let's go!
25:06Okay.
25:07Pax is up next.
25:08Whoa!
25:09Whoa!
25:10Whoa!
25:11Whoa!
25:12Whoa!
25:13Whoa!
25:14Whoa!
25:15Whoa!
25:16Whoa!
25:17Whoa!
25:18Whoa!
25:19Whoa!
25:20Whoa!
25:21I kind of did it.
25:22So you went on each finger?
25:23I went on each finger.
25:24Shall I try one more time?
25:25I think you just need to explain that you're doing each finger.
25:28Well, I wouldn't have need to explain it if I nailed it.
25:34Yes.
25:35Oh!
25:36Oh!
25:37Oh!
25:38Oh!
25:39Jackie, would you like to go up and perform your party trick?
25:42Happy to.
25:43Happy to.
25:52Wow!
25:53Wow!
25:54Joking!
25:59Oh!
26:00Oh!
26:02Oh!
26:03Yep!
26:04Wow!
26:05Oh!
26:06Along the sauce.
26:07He got it!
26:08Haha!
26:09Haha!
26:10Haha!
26:11Haha!
26:12Haha!
26:17Ah!
26:20Haha!
26:21Hey!
26:22100%ы!
26:24Haha!
26:25Haha!
26:32the reverse striptease yeah so as a party trick you turn up undressed I tend to yeah
26:46Jack Ansett yes Jeremy your party trick so for my party trick Jeremy I made a Facebook event for
26:55my 27th birthday party it was a dress-up party and I invited about a hundred so people to on
27:04Facebook and the trick part was all of those people knew that the party wasn't real except for Paul
27:16yeah I guess we play the clip
27:25so what was your party trick yeah there's no one here hmm you happy with that
27:54thank you Jack yeah wow that went according to the plan I think
28:11Paul looked genuinely angry about that yeah how long were you wearing the costume for
28:22so tell them Paul I was going into the taskmaster office that day and decided to save time I would
28:29wear the costume all day I saw you that day and I felt bad that you hadn't been invited to Jack's birthday
28:38okay so one point for Pax two points for Alice and her magic trick I think three points for Brie
28:49four points for Jackie Van Beek and the reverse burlesque thank you and I'll say five points for Jack
28:56Ansett's party trick trick party thank you Jeremy well earned well earned the party don't stop until we
29:04need to fulfill our contractual obligations to advertisers which is right now we'll see you
29:09we'll see you soon
29:16you
29:18you
29:20you
29:22you
29:24welcome back to taskmaster
29:26if you're just tuning in you've just missed out on watching Jackie Van Beek get dressed
29:29I'd like another task please pull those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones but those in paper
29:36towers shouldn't be on a trampoline
29:38hello oh hello Paul hello Jackie g'day Paul hello Brie hello Alice hey Paul hello Jack oh the old trampoline
29:56I had a trampoline like this when I was a kid actually really you got to have the net these days
30:03or what like because once I was on here when I was a kid and then I fell and landed in the middle one of these springs
30:10it's actually quite triggering for me but you know alrighty build the toilet build the toilet
30:17build the toilet
30:24build the tallest toilet paper tower
30:26build the tallest toilet paper tower
30:28toilet paper tower there's the toilet paper
30:30toilet paper in the middle of this trampoline
30:32tallest toilet paper tower wins
30:34that's a tongue twister Paul
30:35mhm
30:36you have ten minutes
30:37your time starts now
30:39do I have to
30:46yeah
30:48I was fascinated Jack that you had a spring trampoline because I just kind of thought your general belligerence
30:55was the result of that generation of yours being cotton wool parented
30:59no my mum didn't give a
31:03she was too busy you know inside with her chardonnay
31:06just sorry she's here she's
31:08she's here tonight
31:09that's what I had to say your mother is here
31:11I think she did the best with what she was given
31:13yeah
31:14fair point
31:16who's up first ball
31:18they have the same birthday and nearly the same name
31:21it's Jackie and Jackay
31:23is this um all the toilet paper that you have available to me
31:27you think you need more than that
31:29yeah
31:30okay
31:31I'll be back
31:32can you give me a hand please
31:34because I'm going to lift all of this onto the
31:37I'm not going to help you with that sorry
31:39are there any other toilets in here
31:45toilet's down
31:47toilet toilet
31:48aha
31:49I need like a big circular kind of ring
31:53okay
31:54yeah
31:55okay
31:56in hindsight that wasn't worth it
31:57but I'm going to get started
31:58if someone could do a shop
31:59because
32:00there's no toilet paper left on the house
32:02oh this is good
32:03this is better than mine
32:04how much time do I have
32:05seven minutes and thirty four seconds
32:07oh my god okay
32:08you want to have that central
32:09yeah
32:10kind of equidistant from
32:11kind of these ends and these ends
32:12gotcha
32:13this is just a tip for you
32:14if you ever want to do this
32:15oh shoot
32:16I need something to make sure it doesn't
32:17fall over
32:18do you have a problem with this
32:20no
32:21sweet
32:22it's not going to help which I find
32:23cruel and unfair
32:24would you be able to pass me the toilet rolls
32:27okay
32:28so you think that's a toilet paper tower
32:29yes Paul
32:30okay
32:31just pass them nicely
32:32and quickly please
32:34not too quickly
32:36sorry
32:37get off
32:38okay
32:39yes
32:40see now
32:41you see
32:42you know they didn't build Rome in a day Paul
32:44you're giving me seven minutes
32:45you actually had ten minutes but you spent the first two minutes getting one and a half rolls of toilet paper from your toilet
32:52what I'm going to do is I'm going to actually take height off
32:54so you're not going to add to the height you're just going sort of girth
32:57could you just come over here so I can touch your shoulder please ready
33:00yes
33:01oh I can just do
33:02ugh
33:03and it's all about being quite kind of polite to the tower like going ugh
33:08do you feel okay
33:10duh
33:11do I go one more
33:12I need to stand on some
33:13twelve seconds
33:23Jack you didn't think it was an overestimation of your abilities when you looked at that giant tower and you thought you know what I need three more rolls
33:29yeah
33:30I think it's an oversight on the production staff that they only allowed one and a half toilet rolls for what 30 crew
33:37how are the heights Paul
33:41Jackie
33:421m 29
33:44Jack
33:451m 43
33:46ooh nice
33:47okay
33:48up next you've heard of a six pack well here's a one packs
33:53I feel like sunning my asshole right now
33:55what does that mean
33:56like I point my butthole to the sun
33:58how are you spelling sun
34:00just cause we are filming this
34:05oh thank you
34:08S-U-N man
34:09okay S-U-N
34:10…
34:11I'm not gonna point my hassle at them small boys
34:15okay well I just want to clarify
34:16That is
34:17Have you started the time?
34:18Yeah you have 8 minutes 55
34:19Oh shit man
34:21how much time do I have seven and a half minutes as heaps of time you're six and
34:29a half minutes shut up how much time do I have left five minutes oh my god bro
34:36how much time do I have one minute and 58 seconds no no
34:51this actually works did Paul try it with me does it still work if there's no boy
35:00there's an entire camera crew over there and I guarantee you all the men are sons either way
35:10it'll work trust me I'm on the clock you're 20 seconds you don't want to just stack one on top
35:17for the other all right for you so the message packs that you're sending your children and
35:30future generations is that when the going gets tough son your asshole yeah it's quite
35:35hairy down there so it is difficult for it to get in it is quite rain foresty down there yes
35:40how tall was Pax's tower 23 centimeters more toilet paper towers please Paul it's the ladies in the
35:49tramp it's Brie and Alice should we do a quick game of crack the egg you've only got nine minutes
35:5750 yeah that'd be kind of fun do you want to just give me a hand with this no sorry double bounce
36:01just come grab the other end of this I'm not going to grab the other end of that come on Paul
36:07Paul please no that's the sort of whole part of the task oh sake Paul this is such a waste we'll use
36:14it you don't reuse this what do you mean reuse you cracked me if that was the challenge I feel like
36:21I'd win what are you going for here I'm going through the middle of the tramp Wow where'd you
36:27get all this toilet paper from did you stockpile it during Covid yeah how tall have other people
36:33forgotten I reckon Pax is about six foot are you a folder or a cruncher I'd rather not say there's
36:40no way you reuse this toilet paper how come because it's clean you're a hundred percent a folder we don't
36:46use it and then reuse it for the task I bet you get clean wipes we reuse it and then and then it flushes so
36:54you're going to wipe your bum with this big time do I have to be off the trampoline Paul all the
37:01information you need is in the task I knew you were going to say that what's up can I rip a hole in the
37:10tramp that's all right we got time how much time Paul one minute and fifty not that much time I'm happy to
37:20not rip a hole in the trap as long as you can guarantee me that this counts is one full tower
37:25oh no oh no disaster has struck I need your word that this counts as one tower otherwise I'm ripping
37:33a hole what's the time you got 52 seconds okay so you have five seconds I shouldn't have stood up
37:38as a bad idea oh my god three I don't think you can even rip a hole that fast I told myself I wasn't
37:46gonna get flustered today I'm flustering you're gonna try and rip a hole 29 seconds oh you bastard you
37:56trying to saw a hole with a challenge oh my god five seconds should I go for one more Paul
38:05how's that Paul it's good you happy with that yeah you want to measure it I usually measure once you've
38:18left of course you do and what if the taskmaster says it's two different dollars well then we'll have
38:27to fight thank you Alice no worries thank you Brie thank Paul oh god Brie it's good to finally meet
38:46someone like me who assesses every person they meet as either a scruncher or a folder mm-hmm can you say
38:51what all of us are absolutely I've got a real gift for it okay folder folder don't strange I'm
39:01getting a bidet vibe from you I don't know why folder folder am I correct correct 100 I'm straight into
39:10the bathtub so we look at some stats yeah let's do that I mean I could share toilet paper all night to
39:18be honest but Brie one meter five Alice's do you count that as one tower so there was a bottom part
39:26underneath the tramp right yes and then that was touching the tramp and then there were a whole lot
39:30more on top of the tramp yes yeah I count that as one okay that's a tower with that being accepted Alice's
39:37tower was 1 meter 87 still not that high which means one point for Pax two points for Brie three
39:47points for Jackie four points for Jack and five points for Alice Sneddon next up the greatest live
39:55task in the history of this episode there's some ads we'll see shortly
40:00you
40:03almost time for our live task but first Paul let's get a little score update leading the pack with 20
40:24points it's Jack it's Jack's episode to lose all right contestants please head up to the stage for our final
40:33task of the show okay Paul who's reading the task tonight Brie Thomas L here we go burst the balloon
40:44six seconds after Paul says burst crack the soda can six seconds after Paul says crack pop the champagne
40:53six seconds after Paul says pop or bang the confetti six seconds after Paul says bang closest to the time
41:01wins there are four rounds you may only do one action per round your time from each round will be
41:07combined if you do the wrong action you will be given a 20 second penalty oh what does so can you say
41:16that again so burst crack pop bang so just to clarify it one more time okay we've really upset him are
41:27you ready for round one ready I was walking down the streets when I felt a blast of wind shoot past me
41:33boom it set off a snap and hit me like some champagne I married a rat clang snap crack launch confetti I
41:41felt like a balloon exploding rapture and fracture it's time for a soda
41:45round two it's time for a soda swoosh marry a rat step on a snap explode when I blast confetti I drink
42:02soda pop snap the concrete and shoot the champagne four five six I felt like a balloon exploding
42:09rapture and fracture it was hard round three I shot a glance at a glass of champagne boom confetti fills the
42:23sky I crack a smile and snap my fingers smack a balloon hits me this song is a bop the champagne
42:30pours and the soda flies can you do the can can yes I can you must do one action each round I did I did Alice
42:41okay this is the final round oh my gosh crash bang I hit the bottle like a drum do the balloon open the
42:53can give me confetti I want champagne now blast boom go pegs I think mine's broken you have to twist it
43:05which way so you follow the arrows one hand goes one way down here down here all right come on down and
43:14we'll score it let's assign some values to these people's efforts so the first round was a can second
43:26round champagne third round can fourth round confetti so now the total time difference across the four rounds
43:33Alice was off by 27 seconds but she was correct 100% of the time that's good on packs 29 seconds but
43:42again correct 100% of the time Jack 14 seconds Jackie 12 seconds both correct 100% of the time how did we
43:53do it Brie was only five seconds difference but was wrong twice right so with the 22nd penalties her time
44:05difference was 45 seconds that means one point for Brie two points for packs three points for Alice four
44:13points for Jack and five points for Jackie Van Beek how did she do it so what does that mean for our
44:22episode that means for the first time in his life the winner of episode eight is Jack Anses
44:29congratulations Jack you are now the proud owner of some things Paul would love to have but he can't get up on the
44:41stage and take you down here thanks everyone we'll see you next time for Marty
44:50curtains up light the lights it's opening night I'm back for more kind of beautiful kind of poetic if you think
45:20about it I went for harmony oh I don't know that I think so this is sort of the same like one day more and
45:31you
45:31you
45:32you
45:32you
Comments