- hace 5 meses
After a witch test goes wrong, Edmund is accused of being a witch, and the witchsmeller does everything to make everyone believe Edmund really is a witch.
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00:00What about this plague, then?
00:10Rumors from the north say it's worse there than ever.
00:13No, no. Now we've found out about the rats, we'll never have plague again.
00:17You know what they're saying? A rat a day keeps the plague away.
00:21Believe me, madam, there'll be no more plague in our lifetime.
00:25Well, I hope you're right.
00:30Ah!
01:00By the autumn of the year of our Lord, 1495, the Black Plague once again howled westwards across Europe from the Indies, carried by seamen and entering England's house.
01:22Each day, thousands died. Village after village disappeared in its evil wake, and not even the best and noblest escaped its horror.
01:32Ah, Edmund! I'm glad I've caught you.
01:34Ah, doing what?
01:36I'm afraid Father's feeling a bit under the weather.
01:40Oh, dear. Any idea what?
01:42Not sure. I think it's probably Black Death.
01:46Nevertheless, I am sure that he'd appreciate a little visit from you.
01:50Oh, well, I'm sure I can pop my head around the door.
01:54Sort of now-ish.
01:56Mother, would you like to, uh...
02:00Oh, no, dear. He won't let me near him.
02:03Oh.
02:06Slash!
02:08Well, he's up.
02:14My lords of the council, we face today the gravest crisis this country has known since the Roman invasion.
02:20Here we are.
02:20Therefore, I'm the host, the king has stirred and calls for you.
02:24Ah.
02:25Very well.
02:27Gentlemen, I must leave you.
02:30Prince Edmund is in charge.
02:32Oh, shay!
02:33Oh, shay!
02:34Oh, shay!
02:35Yes, shay!
02:36All right.
02:37Uh, gentlemen.
02:39Right.
02:39Um, well, as you know, today we face the gravest crisis this country has known since the Roman invasion.
02:46Radish!
02:47Radish!
02:47What about the Viking invasion?
02:49And the Norman invasion.
02:50And the Swiss invasion.
02:52Uh, uh, well, the greatest crisis for some time.
02:55And we all know why.
02:57Why?
02:58Because the king is possessed.
03:00What?
03:01True.
03:02True.
03:02The land is full of omens of bewitchment.
03:05Why, then...
03:05Only last week in Cornwall, a man with four heads was seen taking tea on the beach.
03:11And two women in Windsor claim to have been raped by a fish.
03:15No, no, no.
03:16I sure have heard such tales.
03:18Inherited, reigned phlegm.
03:20Oh!
03:20And they do say that in Edinburgh, the graves did open, and the ghosts of our ancestors rose up and competed in athletic spots.
03:28Oh!
03:29Oh!
03:29Oh!
03:30Oh!
03:30Oh!
03:31And a friend of mine had this awful pimple on the inside of his throat!
03:35Oh!
03:36Oh!
03:37Witchcraft!
03:38Witchcraft!
03:39Witchcraft!
03:40And a farmer and I heard a cow reciting Geoffrey Chaucer.
03:42And a young woman in Shropshire saw Geoffrey Chaucer in a field mooing!
03:47And slightly a young heifer!
03:48Oh!
03:49Oh!
03:50Yes!
03:51Now, gentlemen, gentlemen, surely we aren't the sort of people who believe in this sort of
03:54thing.
03:55I mean, next you'll be telling me that washing your hair in bats dropping stops you getting...
03:58Oh!
03:59Oh!
04:00It is true!
04:01I couldn't find enough bats, and look what happened!
04:05I move that we do the only thing we can do to remove this curse from the kingdom!
04:11Oh!
04:12Ah!
04:13Well, that sounds like the answer, doesn't it?
04:14Send for the witch-smeller, persuivant!
04:15Ah!
04:16Bring down the witchcraft!
04:17No!
04:18No!
04:19No!
04:20No!
04:21No!
04:22No!
04:23No!
04:24No!
04:25No!
04:26No!
04:27No!
04:28No!
04:29No!
04:30No!
04:31No!
04:32No!
04:33No!
04:34No!
04:35No!
04:36No!
04:37No!
04:38No!
04:39No!
04:40No!
04:41You've got two bodies!
04:42Two horses standing next to each other?
04:48Yes, I suppose it could have been!
04:49Obviously, Christian, I bet you're just the sort of person who thinks that sticking your
04:53finger up a sheep's bottom on Good Friday makes you fertile!
04:57That's rubbish!
04:58By the way, it's Easter Monday!
05:00Remind me not to shake your hand during the bookstore's festival, Lord!
05:05I can't believe it!
05:06I mean, who is this witch-smeller, persuivant- anyway?!
05:09Yes, my Lord!
05:10but mistress Scott would the old crone with the cat with the cat oh lovely
05:17but she lives in the village so everyone's dying of the plague oh yes
05:22that's what they claim those peasants and the excuse to get off a decent day's
05:27work well I mean obviously there are some genuine cases good morning Prince Edmund
05:40morning peasant
05:43morning peasant morning peasant morning peasant
05:49hello should you disguise yourself hmm well I mean we don't someone with a
05:56grudge coming up and infecting you on purpose do it
05:58yes right
06:07morning stranger
06:10morning stranger
06:15who's that dark stranger oh that'll be Prince Edmund
06:26you where's mr. Scott he just passed her what oh my god and what's that
06:51the cat does anyone know what happened no I don't
07:00me neither I was right on the other side of town when we burned her
07:06me
07:08why I don't know well it was because she was a witch wasn't it you burned mr. Scott
07:16for being a witch why can't say it's a secret a secret do you know who I am a
07:24stranger oh yes that's right well tell me anyway no no we can't and I'll tell you
07:33why because if you've been part of a secret committee to invite the witch smeller
07:37pursuivant into town and he'd already burnt four of your best friends would
07:42you go telling everyone
07:44no I suppose I wouldn't
07:47so so is it the witch smeller
07:50pursuivant who burnt her
07:52he's guessed
07:53he's clever
07:54they don't call him clever Jake for nothing you know
07:58well they don't call me clever Jake
08:04so
08:05so what does this witch smeller man look like
08:08no one knows my lord
08:09no one
08:10he's a master of disguise
08:12mostly appears only at night
08:15at night
08:16yeah
08:17I believe so
08:19ah right
08:20so he won't be around now
08:22well let me tell you something
08:24if this so-called witch smeller burnt mistress Scott
08:28a pussycat
08:29and have a big like pussy
08:31and there's something wrong with his nose
08:33and I should know
08:35they don't call me clever Pete for nothing
08:38Jake
08:39what about him
08:40clever Jake
08:41where
08:42you are clever Jake
08:47they
08:47they don't call me clever Pete
08:50at all
08:51they call me clever Jake
08:54and if I were you
08:55and I'd ask the witch smeller into town
08:58I'd kick the big nose bully straight out again
09:01what do you say
09:02I think it's for serious consideration
09:04well exactly
09:05take clever Tom's advice
09:07and send it back to the mad house he came from
09:10come on boys
09:11put those down peasants
09:13come on
09:14Mr. Scott is obviously in no state to help us
09:17today
09:18I have two functions
09:24to protect the good
09:26and to crush
09:28the evil
09:29watch
09:30fascinating
09:34absolutely
09:36fascinating
09:38um
09:39actually you have crushed
09:41both eggs you know
09:42some that seem good
09:43sometimes
09:44proveth
09:45to be evil
09:46well
09:47the Lord
09:48Duke of Edinburgh
09:49ah Edmund
09:50come on in
09:50come on in
09:51the witch smellers arrived
09:52oh yes
09:53Old Big Nose is back is it
09:58oh
09:59hello
10:00I'm
10:02delighted to meet you
10:03why
10:04I'm one of your greatest admirers
10:06Old Big Nose is back
10:09yes
10:10Old Big Nose is back
10:11he's in a terrible state
10:12I was
10:13talking to just now
10:14he's a
10:15he's a great admirer of yours as well
10:17who's this
10:18uh
10:19Old Big Nose
10:20in fact
10:21I was about to hear a bit about your work in Taunton
10:25imagine that
10:26every single person in the village having an affair with the same duck
10:30the duck of Taunton was a tragic circumstance
10:33and I hear you very kindly burnt our mistress scott for us
10:38oh yes
10:39and her pussycat
10:40ah
10:41but
10:42but have you found the chief witch yet
10:46I feel I may be very close
10:48oh
10:49get the kindling ready
10:50make sure that steak
10:52is well done
10:53witch smeller my dear
10:54if you do happen to come across someone who's a bit you know
10:58um
10:59witchy
11:00how do you prove him guilty
11:01by trial
11:02or by ordeal
11:03ah
11:04the ordeal by water
11:05no by axe
11:06oh
11:07the suspected witch has his head placed upon a block
11:10and an axe aimed at his neck
11:12if the man is guilty the axe will bounce off his neck
11:15so we burn him
11:16if he is not guilty the axe will simply slice his head off
11:20what a very fair test that is
11:24would you like to attempt a less violent test yourself your highness
11:28by way of demonstration
11:31how much less violent
11:33well I placed before the suspect
11:35a dagger
11:36and a crucifix
11:37oh
11:38how interesting
11:39the suspect is blindfolded
11:40if he picks up the dagger from the table
11:42he is satan's bedfellow
11:44yes Edmund
11:45I think you should do it
11:46hey
11:46at least take yourself out of the running
11:48what
11:49I haven't seen your broomstick recently
11:51oh very good
11:52yes
11:53yes
11:54I'm not so sure about all this you know
11:56oh come on
11:56yes
11:57yes
11:58you will all notice how it has suddenly become much darker
12:01yes
12:04shoes
12:06there we are
12:07the rich Edmund the witch
12:08how the devil did that happen
12:10you see my lord
12:11as I thought
12:12this is the source of evil in your kingdom
12:13this is your witch
12:15behold Lucifer's brother
12:17bound the witch
12:20yes I'm
12:21I'm sure I caught the first part of that
12:23well my lord
12:24if you will know the truth
12:25if that's what you recommend
12:26but
12:26but
12:27you can't let him do this
12:28he is very highly thought of you know
12:30but he's a quack
12:31what did you say
12:33quack quack quack
12:35you see my lord
12:36how the duck of taunt
12:37and lives within him
12:38yes
12:39I'm afraid so
12:40let him be tried tomorrow
12:42this court is summoned to a judge the most heinous of all crimes that of witchcraft
12:56who will defend the accused and thus condemn himself to certain burning at the stake as a partner in satan if the accused is not guilty
13:16our lord percy will defend his royal highness
13:19oh yes
13:20yes me sorry yes
13:21hello
13:22witch
13:23witch
13:24witch
13:25oh
13:26oh
13:27oh
13:28prove that
13:29my lord will you force us to listen to the pleadings of a man who may be a witch himself
13:34oh
13:35you know you're absolutely right
13:37yes well that concludes the case for the defense thank you lord percy
13:41let the name of the prosecutor begin
13:43ah prince edmund
13:44are you a christian
13:46yes of course i am
13:47can you say the lord's prayer
13:49well yes i can say it backwards if you like
13:51catfishers
13:52oh
13:53oh
13:54oh
13:55oh edmund i believe you have a pushing cat
13:57yes
13:58oh
13:59its name is bubbles
14:01right
14:02yes i want to give it its full name
14:04beauty bubbles
14:05you deny that you were seen on the feast of saint jacob the turgid speaking to this little cat bubbles
14:15well of course i deny it
14:16ah but the chambermaid mary heard you saying and i quote hello little bubbles would you like some milk
14:24well i might have said that
14:25ah
14:26ah
14:27ah
14:28and what did you mean by it
14:30well i meant would the cat likes some milk
14:32milk what did you mean by milk
14:34well i mean milk bloody milk
14:36bloody milk
14:37bloody milk
14:38a mixture of milk and blood
14:41oh
14:42no no just milk
14:43ah that the blood was to come later
14:45there wasn't any blood
14:47oh you had to make no
14:49well milk
14:50oh
14:51oh my lord your lord you have a horse called black satin
14:57yes
14:58yes and do you confess that on the thirteenth day of norris time you did say to this horse black satin
15:02and i quote satin
15:04would you like some carrots
15:06well i might have done
15:08he likes carrots
15:09carrots
15:10carrots
15:11yes
15:12carrots
15:13carrots
15:14ladies and gentlemen we all know that carrots are the devil's favourite food
15:19no no no we don't
15:21no we don't
15:22if the devil likes carrots why isn't it mentioned in the bible then
15:26why doesn't it say
15:29and
15:30and he took the lord up to the top of an high mountain and offered him a carrot
15:36yes
15:37why is that thou shalt not eat carrots in the ten commandments
15:40ten carrots
15:43the ten commandments of jerebath
15:45in the appendix to the apocrypha
15:47and the lord said unto the children of bed and nebot
15:50neither shalt thou eat the fruit of the tree that is known as the carrot
15:55tree
15:56carrots don't grow on trees
15:57carrots don't grow on trees
15:58really
15:59no no
16:00how did you get to know so much about carrots eh
16:02wait
16:03oh
16:04yes
16:05hello
16:06i call
16:07my first
16:08witness
16:09witness
16:10oh
16:14satin
16:15good amongst friends
16:17good
16:18now tell me
16:19in your own words
16:21did you sat in
16:23on certain nights last gareth's tide
16:26endowed
16:27endowed
16:28albeit
16:29i accept
16:30in all innocence
16:31enfrenzied
16:32naked
16:33and obscene
16:36satanic
16:37orgies
16:38with your master known to you
16:41at the great grumbledook
16:43what
16:44what
16:45tell me this grumbledook
16:47satin
16:48you're not replying
16:49he's not replying my lord
16:51are we to assume this horse has something to hide
16:54behind
16:55either that or he can't talk
16:56unlike this
16:57glory
16:58black satin
16:59known in the hierarchy of evil
17:00and black sat in the loquacious
17:02are you
17:03or are you not the servant of Satan
17:06i'm sorry i didn't quite catch that was that a yay or a name
17:11it was a nay my lord but i don't believe a word of it i call for a recess he may think he can't control us but we have ways of making him talk
17:21well i suppose this is what comes of being a witch
17:27oh mother i'm not a witch
17:29oh edmund you always wear a bit of a fever
17:33mother i beg of you use whatever power you have to help me
17:38i haven't had any powerful years you know
17:41no no but father's sick you must do something otherwise
17:46otherwise what
17:47well otherwise i'll be burnt
17:50oh yeah this would be a pity
17:53i'll sit back and sort out something
17:58my lord i had an idea how to get out of this
18:04yes
18:06send for all the greatest lawyers in the land and they could save you
18:10brilliant contact them at once
18:12ah i've already done it my lord
18:14oh percy thank you
18:16are those the letters
18:18um yes
18:20read them
18:22um
18:24very well
18:26um this is from robert wyatt in somerset
18:29uh
18:30what you ask
18:32is against reason and god
18:34i spit on you and your master
18:36i spit on you and your master
18:38and look forward to passing water
18:42over both your graves
18:44and then they take
18:48what does that one say
18:50it's from john watts
18:51oh stinker watts
18:52dear percy
19:24he's very boring
19:26oh fair enough
19:27how about next thursday then
19:30um
19:31yeah that's lovely
19:32that i think
19:33yeah nice to be there
19:34brilliant
19:38well done baldrick
19:40very cunning
19:43you may capture the eagle
19:45but you cannot clip its wings
19:47by the way
19:49how's that eagle of yours
19:50oh fine fine
19:51might you i had a bit of trouble to start with
19:53but now i've clipped its wings
19:54no problem
19:55go through
19:56tomorrow i shall not be so meek
19:59ah
20:01ah
20:02ah
20:03ah
20:04ah
20:05ah
20:06ah
20:07ah
20:08ah
20:10ah
20:11ah
20:12ah
20:13ah
20:14ah
20:15ah
20:16ah
20:17ah
20:18ah
20:19ah
20:20ah
20:21ah
20:22ah
20:23ah
20:24ah
20:26it did make this signed confession
20:27ah
20:28ah
20:29ah
20:30ah
20:31ah
20:32ah
20:33al
20:47ah
20:48ah
20:49ah
20:50ah
20:51ah
20:52Oh, dear God, this tragic, horrid, nasty and most evil case draws to an end.
20:59I call my last witness!
21:04Yes, and what is it?
21:06A cow?
21:08A talkative beijer?
21:10An easily bribed ant?
21:12I call Jane Farkettle!
21:18Jane Farkettle, can you see that man standing over there?
21:21Which?
21:22That's him.
21:23Of course I recognize him.
21:26She's seen me on a coin.
21:28And have you or have you not committed sins of the flesh with him?
21:33I have.
21:34You must be joking.
21:36To my group is Jane.
21:37And mine. I mean, look at her.
21:39Can you describe these fowl deeds?
21:42After we had just kissed once, he transformed into a wild animal.
21:49Well, perhaps I do remember you.
21:51Anything else?
21:52Yes, my lord.
21:53Three months later, I was great with child.
21:57Oh, for God's sake.
21:58You bore him a son.
22:00I did.
22:01My little Johnny.
22:03Can you see this son of Satan anywhere in this court?
22:07Yes, that's him.
22:15I give you John Grumbo-Dog.
22:19Can't give him away.
22:23Come on, he doesn't look the slightest bit like me.
22:26My lord, you have three proofs of witchcraft.
22:30A cat that drinks blood.
22:31A horse that talks.
22:35And a man who propagates poodle.
22:41These men must burn.
22:44These men must burn.
22:46Silence.
22:47Silence.
22:47Silence.
22:48Silence.
22:48Silence.
22:49Silence.
22:49Silence.
22:50Silence.
22:51Silence.
22:51Silence.
22:52Silence.
22:53Silence.
22:54Time.
22:56ematics.
22:57Silence.
22:58witchcraft. The maximum penalty that the law allows is that you be burned to death. However,
23:06in view of your previous good background, I am disposed to be lenient. Therefore, I
23:13sentence you to be burned alive. Do you have anything to say?
23:19Well, yes. Actually, I'd quite like to say this.
23:22And you grumble, Duke. Yes! Now!
23:30Oh, brilliant, Horace. How you live that, I'll never know. Quick! Here!
23:37Look out!
23:45You turkeys pigs!
23:51Percy.
23:53Sorry.
24:07Look, um, you two, um, you won't perhaps consider for a pretty hefty reward, perhaps letting
24:14us, er, by dressing up as washerwomen and carrying us out in three large wicker laundry baskets.
24:26Here comes the wife.
24:28Hello, Edmund.
24:38Hello, dear.
24:39You look funny.
24:41Yes, yes, I've had all my hair cut off.
24:43Oh, yes, that's it.
24:46Look, there's no news of a reprieve, is there?
24:49Oh, no, everyone's really looking forward. Hello, boys.
24:53Morning.
24:55I have to go to my room, which isn't fair.
24:58But in fact...
24:59Yes, yes.
25:00I think I might even get a better view from the window.
25:05Well, I'd better be going.
25:10Oh, yes, and your mummy asked me to give you this.
25:13Oh, great!
25:14What is it?
25:15A knife?
25:16A file?
25:17And a small bucket of water?
25:19No, silly.
25:20It's a dolly.
25:25Great, great.
25:26It's just what we needed.
25:29Goodbye, Edmunds.
25:31Goodbye, dear.
25:33Mother!
25:35Yes?
25:36Oh, bye-bye.
25:37I suppose, really, this must be one of the most difficult parts of the job.
25:53Yes.
25:54And for the witch as well.
25:57Of course!
25:58My lord, I have a cunning plan.
26:03Help!
26:04Oh, Baldrick!
26:06I think I might be able to stall him.
26:09Well, Grumble Duke, your time has come.
26:12You wish to confess?
26:13Oh, no.
26:14Very well.
26:15Oh, sorry.
26:16Sorry, yes.
26:17Yes, I do, in fact.
26:19Confession!
26:20I should like to confess in front of God and this rather small crowd that I have occasionally
26:33done things wrong.
26:35Be more specific.
26:37Um, well, I have erred and strayed like a lost ox.
26:45Sheep!
26:46A sheep.
26:47I have coveted my father's adultery.
26:53Get on with it!
26:54I have not honoured my neighbour's ass.
27:00Honour the fires!
27:02I'm a witch!
27:03I'm a witch!
27:04I can't tell you anything.
27:12Oh, Dad.
27:14Oh, no.
27:15I'm not even comfortable.
27:17Oh, no.
27:18How fast this heat travels!
27:27Yes, it is a touch warm, isn't it?
27:29I feel as if I am on fire!
27:36I know, I'm rather regretting my choice of undergarments as well.
27:41I'm burning! I'm burning! I'm burning!
27:47Yes, but I think you're jolly glad of that cloak in the winter.
27:53Good.
27:54Good.
27:54No!
28:06Well done, Baldrick.
28:08Yes, that was close shave.
28:14Thank you, Baldrick.
28:24Morning, my love!
28:27Oh, good morning, dear.
28:30Morning, princess.
28:31Good morning.
28:33What's going on out there?
28:36Well, Uncle Harry's going to burn Edmund alive when the other man came along.
28:40Nothing, my dear. Don't sort it out now.
28:45Oh, good, good.
28:53The sound of hoofbeats cross the glade
28:57Who'd cold lock up your son and daughter
29:00Beware the deadly flashing blade
29:04Unless you want to end up shorter
29:08Blackadder, Blackadder
29:12He rides a pitch black steed
29:16Blackadder, Blackadder
29:20He's very bad indeed
29:24Blackadder
29:26Blackadder
29:27Blackadder
29:28Blackadder
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29:45Blackadder
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29:47Blackadder
29:48Blackadder
29:49Blackadder
29:50I said he shouldn't have burnt that cat.
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