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00:00You
00:12No, you don't get back
00:15We have some unfinished business
00:17You left me like roadkill
00:19You tried to kill me first
00:21Don't you dare put that on me
00:30Oh
01:00Die already, you crazy bitch!
01:10I'm not crazy!
01:30Hey, how's it going?
01:44What's going on?
01:45I found Christian's phone in your purse.
01:48What?
01:49Uh, what do you mean?
01:51Did you know you had it?
01:52No, no, he must have put it in there.
01:54He's still stalking me.
01:56We should go to the police.
01:58No, no, I mean, just no, no police.
02:01Not until after the pageant.
02:02I can't handle any more stress right now.
02:05What are you doing?
02:06Working out!
02:07Just promise me, please, no cops, okay?
02:09Okay, fine, I promise.
02:11Okay, okay, I gotta go.
02:13Bye.
02:15Oh, God.
02:28Fuck you!
02:29Fuck you!
02:30Fuck you!
02:31I should have gotten rid of that body right away, but I couldn't.
02:35Not without a snack.
02:42For the first time in my life, I was on top of the world.
02:49I was a hometown hero, I won mayor by a landslide, and I had a budding new romance.
02:57Shit.
02:58I gotta get back to Patty.
02:59We gotta get ready for Miss American Lady.
03:00It should have been enough.
03:01I should have left well enough alone.
03:02I'll come with you.
03:03To the pageant?
03:04Sure.
03:05Why not?
03:06I don't take office for another month.
03:07Maybe I should coach Patty one last time.
03:19I should have left well enough alone.
03:21I'll come with you.
03:24To the pageant?
03:25Sure, why not?
03:26I don't take office for another month.
03:29Maybe I should coach Patty one last time.
03:37I thought a snack would help me think,
03:39but it turned into the binge of my life.
03:41I'd been locked in my room eating for a day and a half straight.
03:43I completely tuned out the world.
03:47Patty, you decent?
03:49Yes, no, I'm not.
03:51Just give me one second.
03:53Don't come in.
03:54Are you looking at porn?
03:55Yes, I am looking at porn.
03:56Okay, well, don't pay for it.
03:58There's a lot of free side.
03:59I'll be right there.
04:01What's going on?
04:02We're coming in.
04:07Hey, you guys are together.
04:09Like, together together.
04:11Yeah, we wanted to talk to you about that.
04:13I am fine with that.
04:15As long as you guys are happy.
04:17No, no, no, don't.
04:21Don't.
04:22Don't.
04:23No, don't.
04:24Please.
04:25Patty, what is going on?
04:30I'm just, I'm scared about Miss American Lady.
04:33I've never competed without you before.
04:35Well, you don't have to.
04:39If you're still up for it, I want to coach you again.
04:43You do?
04:44It sure make me feel better.
04:46With an extra set of eyes on you.
04:48With a pageant killer still out there.
04:50But Bob, I thought you said you were bad for me.
04:53I'm gonna let you two talk.
04:59Patty.
05:01Look.
05:02Now that I've found my own success, I'm a new me.
05:07Which means we can be a new version of us.
05:11It'll be different this time.
05:13Besides, I mean, we've come this far.
05:15I think we owe it to ourselves to give it one more shot.
05:19But I need you to promise me something.
05:21Yeah, no, yeah, anything.
05:22Okay, I'm mayor now.
05:24So, no more shenanigans.
05:26No more drama.
05:27And you have to be honest.
05:34Yes.
05:35Absolutely.
05:36I promise.
05:42Mmm.
05:43Something smells ripe.
05:44Oh, yeah.
05:45Yep, I'm gonna take a shower and get ready.
05:47Let me call you in a few hours?
05:48No, no, no.
05:49I've gotta wait downstairs.
05:50There's no time to spare.
05:51We leave for Miss American Lady tomorrow.
05:53Morning.
05:54And we've got shopping to do.
05:56Oh.
05:57Oh.
05:58Fuck.
06:07With Bob downstairs, getting rid of Stella Rose's body would have to wait.
06:11I just needed to do something about the smell.
06:19Patty, let's go.
06:20Now.
06:21Hang on.
06:22Hang on.
06:23I gotta change.
06:24At least one of us smelled better.
06:28Bob, honey.
06:29The door was open.
06:30Are you here?
06:32Hey.
06:34Hey.
06:35Oh, sweetheart.
06:37I know this is a hard time for you right now.
06:40Oh, yeah.
06:41But I have some news that I have to share with you.
06:45Okay.
06:46After the drama of the debate, I got some national attention and, well, an investor called me and
06:52he wants to fund Tampoozle and make it like a Tom's Shoes.
06:56So each box of Tampoozles that they sell, they'll donate one to a woman in need of feminine hygiene products with no pink tax, which is great.
07:05I'm gonna meet with him this afternoon and, well, if that meeting goes well, I'll be moving to Atlanta.
07:11Move?
07:12I thought you decided to have the baby.
07:13So?
07:14So you really want to start a new business on top of all that?
07:18I mean, isn't that too much to handle on your own?
07:19Wow.
07:20Way to be supportive.
07:21Well, I want to be supportive.
07:22Especially if I'm the father.
07:23Let's say you are.
07:24You want to move to Atlanta with me and help me raise the kid?
07:25No.
07:26That'd feel too much like me and Etta May all over again, but I need a fresh start, and if
07:27I'm gonna have any chance of having that, I can't be wondering if there's another kid out there.
07:28So?
07:29So?
07:30So you really want to start a new business on top of all that?
07:31I mean, isn't that too much to handle on your own?
07:32Wow.
07:33Way to be supportive.
07:34I want to be supportive.
07:35Especially if I'm the father.
07:36Let's say you are.
07:37You want to move to Atlanta with me and help me raise the kid?
07:38Well, no.
07:39That'd feel too much like me and Etta May all over again, but I need a fresh start,
07:43and if I'm gonna have any chance of having that, I can't be wondering if there's another
07:47kid out there that's mine, and I'm not taking responsibility for him or her.
07:51I did that once, and I want to make the same mistake twice.
07:56I need to know who the father is.
08:01Okay.
08:03All I need from you is a sample.
08:06Well, right now?
08:07No.
08:08No, no, no.
08:10A cheek swab.
08:11Oh, I knew that.
08:14Is this really the mall where I got taken?
08:17Yeah.
08:18It's so nice, finally being back here with you.
08:22I should have never left you alone.
08:25Be right back.
08:30A happy life is just in front of you.
08:40Dixie baby.
08:41Mama?
08:42Oh, I was hoping you'd say that.
08:43Okay, come on.
08:44We're gonna have some fun.
08:45I got a plan.
08:46Okay.
08:47Okay.
08:48Come on.
08:49We're gonna have some fun.
08:50I got a plan.
08:51Okay.
08:52What makes Miss American Lady different from all the other pageants is that this one will
09:03be televised.
09:04You will be in HD and the camera doesn't lie.
09:11The audience will be able to see every pore.
09:15We have to hide every flaw, every blemish.
09:21Contour your cheeks, strengthen your jaw.
09:28What's wrong with my jaw?
09:30Nothing.
09:31When I'm done with you.
09:36Now that we have your makeup done, it is time for a camera test.
09:41Find your light and make sure to keep your chin up.
09:44Addie, you have company.
09:47Pastor Mike.
09:48We need to talk about Christian's phone.
09:51You told him?
09:52Why wouldn't she?
09:53Unless you have something to hide.
09:55You said not to go to the cops, so I used to find my phone app and the phone never even
09:59left Georgia.
10:00He told Magnolia he was going to California, so I went to Pastor Mike to see if he had any
10:04information.
10:05I was just as confused as Nani.
10:07How did you get his phone?
10:11I don't know.
10:12He must have put it in my purse to track me.
10:16He's a stalker.
10:17He's done stuff like that before.
10:18Oh, you're lying.
10:19You get your hand off my daughter.
10:22Now.
10:23You did something to him.
10:25I can feel it.
10:26Yeah, and last time I saw you, you said she was possessed.
10:31You have an impure thought about him.
10:35And what is a Mississippi milkshake?
10:37Ew.
10:38You know what?
10:39Just get the hell out of my house.
10:40You're not getting away with this.
10:41I am calling the police.
10:42Get out.
10:43Can I speak to you?
10:44For a moment?
10:45Alone?
10:51What's a Mississippi milkshake?
10:58You knew Nani found the phone and you didn't tell me?
11:01He said no more drama.
11:02He also said no more secrets.
11:03He is going to the police.
11:05Okay.
11:06So let's think.
11:07The body is gone.
11:08You took care of the car, right?
11:09Yes.
11:10I took the car to the junkyard and paid junkyard Bob to crush it.
11:13And you watched it go through the crusher, right?
11:17What?
11:20Seriously?
11:21Oh my God.
11:22Christian's car.
11:23It's just been sitting here the whole time?
11:25He said he was going to take care of it.
11:28Did you at least get rid of the...
11:32Bob.
11:33This is a murder weapon.
11:34We could have been arrested.
11:35Need I remind you which one of us killed somebody?
11:39Okay.
11:40I don't have to play the playing game.
11:42We need to crush this car right now.
11:43How?
11:44Junkyard Bob isn't here.
11:49Really?
11:50You had to put on the overalls?
11:52What?
11:53It was a $4,000 seat.
11:54Bye-bye evidence.
11:56Bye-bye drama.
11:58Hey!
11:59Did you ever take a gas tank?
12:00What?
12:03I should have taken that car as a sign that even with the new me, Patty's and my relationship
12:08was nothing but combustible.
12:10I should have taken that car as a sign to get rid of this evidence right away.
12:19But now I was more concerned about my own body than Stella Rosa's.
12:24I just had the binge of my life and Miss American Lady was just days away.
12:30Everyone knows the camera adds 10 pounds.
12:40Clearly my priorities were out of whack.
12:44Clearly my priorities were out of whack.
13:10Housing for your life.
13:11PIECE
13:25Shit! Shit! Shit!
13:27I needed to get rid of this body before Bob picked me up for Miss American Lady.
13:31Hattie!
13:40Bob, you're early.
13:43Oh, you look terrible.
13:45Are those the same clothes you wore yesterday?
13:46I'm not ready.
13:47What's all this?
13:49I rented a van so we can transport the entire entourage to Chicago in one car.
13:54Entourage?
13:55Woo-woo!
13:56Miss American Lady, here we come!
13:59And I decorated a van.
14:01Wow.
14:02You guys really went all out.
14:03Plus, I got you security.
14:05Oh, my God.
14:06Officer Greg!
14:08What are you doing here?
14:09Donnie asked me to come along.
14:10Christian's still stalking you.
14:12You need protection.
14:13No.
14:14I mean, that's sweet, but no.
14:16I would hate to take you off your beat.
14:18The people of Masonville need you.
14:20No way.
14:21Everyone's saying another girl could die,
14:23and I'm kind of hoping if I'm the one to catch the pageant killer,
14:26I'll finally make detective, you know?
14:29You ready to hit the road?
14:30Let me get that for you.
14:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
14:33Go upstairs and change.
14:35So much for leaving my baggage behind.
14:38Look, kids, the Hancock building.
14:43The Sears Tower.
14:44We need a name for us.
14:50Benji.
14:51Hmm.
14:52Hmm.
14:53Hmm.
14:54Hmm.
14:55Hmm.
14:56Hmm.
14:57Hmm.
14:58Hmm.
14:59Hmm.
15:00Hmm.
15:01Hmm.
15:02Hmm.
15:03Hmm.
15:04Hmm.
15:05Hmm.
15:06Sounds serious.
15:07Hmm.
15:08Hmm.
15:09Hmm.
15:10Hmm.
15:11Hmm.
15:12Hmm.
15:13Hmm.
15:14Hmm.
15:15Hmm.
15:16Hmm.
15:17Hmm.
15:18Hmm.
15:19Hmm.
15:20Hmm.
15:21Hmm.
15:22Hmm.
15:23Hmm.
15:24Hmm.
15:25Hmm.
15:26Hmm.
15:27I mean, I don't care about you.
15:28I don't want this to just be about sex.
15:30first boyfriend. If you still want to date guys, I get it. Angie, just because I'm bi doesn't mean I can't commit. You couldn't with Bob or Coralie. Yeah, but that's totally different. With them, I always felt like something was missing, but I don't feel like that with you. Now, what if that changes? Do you still want to see other people?
16:00It's okay. You can say anything to me. Don't get me wrong. This is the happiest I've been since, well, since the Dukes of Hazzard came out on DVD. And if there was anyone I would want to commit to, it'd be you. You're smart and weird and you're sexy as hell.
16:27That I know myself. And I just, I don't want to pretend to be something I'm not, especially not with you.
16:35So, let's be open.
16:37Exactly. Let's be open and honest.
16:41No, but let's be in an open relationship.
16:46You do that for me?
16:50Yeah, if that's what you feel like you really need.
16:53I've never had anyone willing to try that for me before.
16:56Well, there's a first time for everything.
17:06Well, the fact that you're willing
17:09to do that for me makes me
17:12not want to do it at all.
17:14Tomorrow was the biggest day of my life.
17:23But I wasn't going to sleep.
17:25Not with Stella Rose in the room.
17:27Maybe I could sneak away
17:28while Nani was sleeping.
17:30If I could just get rid of Officer Greg.
17:32Hey, did you want to go away for a minute,
17:38take a break, maybe have a snack?
17:39No need. I have supplies.
17:41Plus, I'm wearing a man diaper
17:42so I can go straight through to the morning.
17:45That's great.
17:46Okay.
17:48Do you really have to bring him along?
17:50Well, I feel safer knowing he's around.
17:52And I've been doing some more digging about Christian.
17:54It keeps getting weirder.
17:56Oh, really?
17:57I downloaded all of his texts.
18:00And look.
18:01Look, the way he texted
18:02totally changed after he disappeared.
18:04He started using full sentences,
18:06proper punctuation,
18:07even used emojis.
18:10It's super freaky.
18:12I'm starting to think
18:13maybe someone else had his phone.
18:17Like who?
18:18I don't know.
18:21Can we please talk about something else?
18:23I just need to relax before the pageant.
18:25I don't want to start eating.
18:27Okay.
18:28What do you want to talk about?
18:30Uh, I don't care.
18:32TV?
18:33Movies?
18:33What about your mom and Bob?
18:35I mean, that's gonna be weird, huh?
18:40No weirder than me
18:41sharing a room with my best friend
18:43who wanted to be a cop
18:44and a body I couldn't get rid of.
18:46I was just gonna have to keep it by my side
18:48until after the pageant.
18:51My goodness.
18:52This suitcase is heavy.
18:54Do you really have to bring that with you everywhere?
18:56Yes.
18:58What if someone spills something on me?
19:00Or I'm wearing the same thing as someone else.
19:02I have to have options.
19:03Okay.
19:03Whatever you need.
19:04Listen, we have a very busy schedule today.
19:07We start with today's meet and greet
19:08and then we have a press junket and-
19:10Patty!
19:13Magnolia, what are you doing here?
19:15Competing.
19:16What?
19:16How?
19:17I don't know.
19:17A lot of state winners have backed out.
19:18With the pageant killers still out there,
19:20they're all too scared of getting killed.
19:22And since my mom lives in Connecticut now,
19:24I'm technically a resident,
19:25so we wrote the board a check
19:27and now you're looking at the new
19:29Miss Connecticut American Lady.
19:31But you're letting her compete?
19:33After Roxy?
19:33What?
19:37We're all thinking it.
19:38Well, I tried to talk her out of it,
19:40but last time I said no,
19:42she blacked out for two days,
19:43so I figured the least I could do
19:45is be here to keep her safe.
19:46Rick's here too.
19:47He's back in the room, sleeping in.
19:49He is?
19:50I wonder why he didn't tell me.
19:51It was a last-minute decision,
19:53but I was very persuasive.
19:59Holy shit.
20:03Excuse me.
20:06Was this another ghost?
20:09I thought Heather Christina Pamela Kendall Jackson Johnson
20:11was dead.
20:12What the hell?
20:13I thought Heather Christina Pamela Kendall Jackson Johnson
20:16was dead.
20:17Wait, you see her too?
20:18Of course.
20:19She's standing right there.
20:21Heather Christina Pamela Kendall?
20:24Pamela Kendall Heather Christina.
20:27I'm Heather's evil twin.
20:29Wait, Heather wasn't the evil one?
20:30I'm competing to honor her memory.
20:32We grew up in a separate household.
20:34I'm Miss California.
20:36And I'm coaching her.
20:37Gloria?
20:38I spent the last year touring the country,
20:41looking for the best of the best.
20:43And Pamela is it.
20:46Formerly blind, currently blonde.
20:48She's unstoppable.
20:50I would have coached you, Patty,
20:51back when I thought you blew up those girls.
20:55But then you got exonerated.
20:56Exonerated.
20:57Too bad.
21:00You could have been a real winner.
21:05Yeah, okay.
21:06Let's, uh, let's get you in this press line.
21:09Seeing Gloria was a sign.
21:11Yeah.
21:11A reminder of what she told me at state.
21:14That winning would erase my past.
21:16I'm just really looking...
21:17Once I got the crown,
21:18I could get rid of Stella Rose
21:19and be reborn.
21:20But I had only ever won by default.
21:26And Magnolia never lost.
21:28My platform is Animal Mascot Awareness.
21:30I want to raise money to build a sanctuary
21:32for retired animal mascots
21:34like dogs and bulls
21:36and bulldogs.
21:38Instead of being forced to entertain people,
21:41people can come and entertain them
21:42because they deserve it.
21:46And Pamela had the best coach in the world.
21:49My platform is organ donation.
21:52I've donated a kidney,
21:54a piece of my intestine,
21:55my appendix,
21:56and a glass eye.
22:00But really, you're welcome.
22:04But by the skin of my teeth,
22:06I made it through preliminaries
22:08to the top 25,
22:11to the top 15,
22:13and then to the biggest night of all.
22:17Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
22:19I am your host, Brazen Moorhead,
22:21and welcome to the 47th Annual Miss American Lady.
22:27And now, please welcome back to the stage
22:30our top 10 finalists
22:31in this year's competition.
22:34Miss Arkansas, Suzanne Juliet.
22:36Miss California,
22:38Pamela Kendall,
22:38Heather Christina Jackson Johnson.
22:41Miss Georgia, Patty Liddell.
22:44I can't believe you're out here
22:45instead of backstage.
22:47I know, but Patty insisted she needed her space.
22:50Miss Florida, Renee Hill.
22:52Miss Connecticut, Magnolia Barnard.
22:55Aren't you regarding Patty?
22:57No way.
22:58I've never been to a Miss America Lady before.
23:01I want to see the show.
23:02And now, please welcome all of our contestants
23:04as they celebrate the strength and beauty
23:06of the modern Miss American Lady.
23:09I got hips.
23:12I know how to move, yeah.
23:17I also have a brain.
23:21My heart is beating loud, loud, loud,
23:26not at ground,
23:27because I need you to know
23:28that I'm a morning girl.
23:30I was nine girls away
23:41from making all of my dreams come true,
23:43and I wasn't going to let anyone get in my way.
23:47Are you sure about that, Patty?
23:49What a bob finds me.
23:51He won't.
23:52He's in the audience.
23:54And I locked my dressing room door.
23:55You can't hide the truth forever.
23:57I could until after I won.
24:04Dad, you should be out in the audience
24:06where you can enjoy the show.
24:07Oh, no.
24:08I will be in the wings the entire time
24:10keeping watch.
24:12Not taking any chances
24:13with that pageant killer still on the loose.
24:15Whatever.
24:16Rick, did you fix the watch?
24:17I can't.
24:18It's still catching.
24:19You're sure this is the trick you want to do?
24:21You've never done it without me
24:22or in a straight jacket before,
24:23and I just want to make sure you nail it.
24:24It'll be fine.
24:26I'm just sorry you can't be on stage with me.
24:29I only got into this whole magic thing
24:30because of you.
24:31No, that's okay.
24:32I actually think I may have found my own thing.
24:34I tried to do another good guys video last night,
24:37but it didn't work out.
24:38It's lame.
24:39Lame.
24:41Rude?
24:42Lame.
24:42Lame.
24:43I thought I turned the camera off,
24:45but I guess I turned it on.
24:46What were you doing?
24:47Eating a cookie with my shirt off.
24:49And it got, like, almost a million views.
24:56And I've got cookie companies already reaching out to sponsor me
24:59and other people asking me to eat other stuff,
25:01so it looks like I might be an influencer after all.
25:03That totally makes sense.
25:07Magnolia, two minutes.
25:10It's for the only kiss through the world.
25:14It's not free to shine.
25:18Thank you, Patty Liddell,
25:20for that impressive capoeira routine.
25:22Up next, Miss Connecticut-American lady,
25:25Magnolia Barna.
25:39Let's go, man!
25:42I will now attempt a trick inspired by Houdini,
25:45the famous straight jacket trunk-a-skate.
25:52Oh, come on.
26:10Help me!
26:13Patty, what's happening?
26:14Do it now. She's seen us. You have to.
26:15Do what?
26:16Run!
26:17I'm a good person!
26:24I'm a good person!
26:25I'm a good person!
26:27I'm a good person!
26:29I'm a good person!
26:30I'm a good person!
26:32I'm a good person!
26:33And now please welcome Miss California American Lady, Pamela Kendall Heather Christina Jackson-Johnson.
27:03There you are.
27:16Hey, what are you guys doing back here?
27:18We just came back here to tell you we're so proud of you.
27:20And to be honest, it is driving me crazy being out there in that audience instead of back
27:24here with you.
27:27What the hell?
27:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
27:33No, no, no, no, no.
27:35What?
27:35What is going on?
27:36It can't be happening.
27:37No, not again.
27:38Patty, what are you looking for?
27:39Maybe we can help.
27:40Fuck no.
27:40She was right here.
27:41She was right here.
27:42Who?
27:43Um, Mom, can I please have a second alone with Bob?
27:46Why?
27:47There's nothing you can't say in front of me.
27:48Mom.
27:49Please.
27:50Patty, who was right here?
27:53I can't.
27:54Patty, tell me what is going on right now.
27:59Stella Rose.
28:02Stella Rose?
28:02Yeah.
28:03Who the hell is Stella Rose?
28:05She found me.
28:06She attacked me.
28:08I had to do it.
28:09Had to do what?
28:10Angie, you need to leave right now.
28:13No.
28:14Not until somebody tells me what is going on.
28:16Bob, please.
28:17I need your help.
28:18I put her in that suitcase and then you packed it in the car and now she's gone again.
28:22You had me drag a body across state lines?
28:26I'm the mayor.
28:27Do you have any idea what this means?
28:30A body like a dead body?
28:32You promised me.
28:34No more secrets.
28:35No more lies.
28:36I know.
28:37But if I could just get the crown.
28:39If you get the crown, where is she?
28:42Patty.
28:43You killed someone else.
28:45Someone else?
28:46What?
28:46Who is she talking about?
28:48Nobody.
28:49Mom.
28:49No.
28:51This is my fault.
28:53It's not it.
28:54Patty.
28:55Who is she talking about?
28:59It was me, okay?
29:00I am the one who killed all those drug dealers.
29:03The ones that we sunk in Gator Bog.
29:05Oh my God.
29:06I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you thinking that I was a murderer.
29:09Oh, oh, but God, you are.
29:12I mean, how many bodies is it?
29:14Four, five?
29:15Five?
29:19Six.
29:22I killed Gordy.
29:23What?
29:24Who the hell is Gordy?
29:26The guy Patty sought was her dad.
29:29How long have you been standing there?
29:30Do you want to tell me why you sent me the same emojis Christian sent his dad?
29:36I, I, I must have seen them on your laptop and...
29:39Bullshit.
29:41Patty, we need to talk.
29:42Magnolia, please.
29:44Right now is not a good time.
29:45I remembered what happened with Christian.
29:49I saw everything.
29:50Oh my God.
29:51Um, what, what happened with Christian?
29:54Did you kill him?
29:58Wait, how did you know?
30:00Oh God, there's another one.
30:03No, no, you don't, you don't understand.
30:05I had to.
30:06I thought you were my best friend.
30:08I am.
30:09I trusted you.
30:11Join the club.
30:13How could you just lie to my face like that?
30:17How could I not?
30:19Look at you.
30:21Look at all of you.
30:23The way that you're looking at me now that you know the truth.
30:25Tell me it's okay.
30:31Tell me you understand and you get it.
30:34You forgive me.
30:36Tell me I'm still the same person.
30:39I'm still your best friend.
30:41I'm still your daughter.
30:41Please.
30:43Tell me.
30:44Tell me you still love me.
30:46No matter what.
30:54It's what I thought.
30:58Patty, two minutes until the interview.
31:00And up next, Miss Georgia American Lady, Patty Bledel.
31:03Patty Bledel, in your own words, tell us, what does it mean to be a lady in today's America?
31:27I don't think I can be here.
31:29Pop, please, I can't handle this alone.
31:32Angie, there is a body out there.
31:34I need you here.
31:35Please, stay.
31:39Being a lady means you have to lie.
31:47To say the truth will set you free.
31:50There is no freedom.
31:52Not when you're a lady.
31:54You have to smile pretty and hide every flaw and pretend to be someone you're not.
32:00Because nobody really wants the truth.
32:03People don't want to know who you really are.
32:07How you feel.
32:08What you've done.
32:11They say they do.
32:14But they just want the version of you that they think you are.
32:19Because the real you is too much and never enough.
32:29Be the most you you can be.
32:31It's such bullshit.
32:32What if you're broken.
32:33What if you're broken.
32:33What if you're so tired of faking it that you feel sick.
32:40What if you're so angry you're homicidal.
32:45What if you're me.
32:49This is who I am.
32:50America.
32:51And I'm not a fucking lady.
32:53I am not a fucking lady.
33:06Make it, sister.
33:07You know the real you.
33:08Fuck being a motherfucking lady!
33:10I'm on the turtle, too!
33:23They love her.
33:25So do I.
33:26No matter what.
33:28I wish I would've told her I need to tell her.
33:31I need some air.
33:32So do I.
33:34And up next, Miss Connecticut American Lady Magnolia Barnard.
33:42This was her chance to take me out.
33:45To kill her competition.
33:47Magnolia, in your own words,
33:50what does it mean to be a lady in today's America?
33:56All I can say is that...
33:59Patti Bledel...
34:04is one of the bravest women I've ever met.
34:09She protected me when no one else would.
34:13So, if you ask me,
34:16she's what it means to be a lady.
34:21Thank you, Magnolia.
34:24Now we'll take a quick commercial break.
34:29I don't know what to say.
34:30The same thing I'm gonna say.
34:33Nothing.
34:35You saved my life.
34:38So your secret...
34:40is safe with me.
34:41She was a killer...
34:57and I had helped her.
34:59What if I had let her turn herself in?
35:01Would all those people have died?
35:03But maybe it wasn't too late to do the right thing.
35:11Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.
35:14We are ready to announce the wedding.
35:22This is an historic moment.
35:25The judges keep their position in record time.
35:29This is Bob Barnard.
35:31You got this.
35:32Bob, call me back.
35:34I've found out who the father is.
35:36Time's up for the love that's like hating.
35:41Time's up for the pressure persuading.
35:44Time's up, get your mind up on the grind up.
35:48All of these women on stage are strong.
35:51Empowered.
35:52Each of them will change our world.
35:54Where's Pamela, Kendall, Heather, Christina?
35:56Who cares here about you as the winner?
35:58Know that in the eyes of all America,
36:01every single one of you are winners for being here today.
36:04But, as we know, there can only be one to wear the crown.
36:10So, here we go.
36:14I hated Patty, but I hated myself more.
36:17Because after everything that had happened,
36:19I still needed to see if she won.
36:21Maybe I was even crazier than her.
36:23Oh!
36:26Regina, what the hell?
36:28You were my mortal enemy, but now,
36:30I think you're my soulmate.
36:32Regina, will you get off me?
36:34Stop it!
36:36What are you doing?
36:38Help!
36:40Hey, somebody let me out!
36:42No, no, no, honey, don't bother.
36:43No, no, no.
36:44There's a project going on.
36:45No one can hear you.
36:47Second runner, Miss New York American Lady,
36:49Deborah Dingus!
36:51I found Stella Rose's body.
36:54Salted, preserved.
36:56Oh, I was impressed by your work.
36:58I didn't do that.
36:59Oh, honey, of course you did.
37:00She's your ex.
37:02And I have never been more turned on.
37:05Our first runner-up,
37:08Miss Connecticut American Lady Magnolia Barnard!
37:11Bob, it's tragic, really.
37:12If I knew we were so much alike, things would have been different.
37:24But I was already so far down the road with my plan.
37:27What plan?
37:28Well, I put Stella Rose's body in your hotel room.
37:33Cops will find her there when they search it, but that was just a bonus.
37:36Wait, you called the cops?
37:37Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:39Right now, the FBI is finding a sick-ass serial killer stash between your walls,
37:44thanks to a tip, courtesy of moi.
37:47Oh, look at this, Bob.
37:48They were so grateful, they agreed not to press charges against me for kidnapping Dixie.
37:52What are you talking about? What stash?
37:55Roxy's stash.
37:57Heather's yo-yos.
37:58Explosives from the parade.
38:01I saved it all and put them there to frame you.
38:05Because you ruined my life.
38:08Oh, my God, it's you.
38:10You're the pageant killer?
38:12Oh, no, I ain't trying to keep up.
38:15You are.
38:17And the moment you've all been waiting for.
38:20The winner of this year's Miss American Lady.
38:26By unanimous decision, Miss Georgia American Lady, Patty Liddell!
38:38Surprise, Bob.
38:40Look.
38:42Oh, my God.
38:43I did this.
38:44I did it.
38:45I did it for you.
38:47Look at it.
38:48I know.
38:49It's okay.
38:50Okay.
38:51Okay.
38:52Okay.
38:53Here, here, here, here, here.
38:54Ow!
38:55Help!
38:56Help!
38:57Ow!
38:58They're about to kill us and kill me!
38:59It's okay.
39:00Get back here!
39:01Ladies and gentlemen, are you Miss American Lady, Patty Liddell!
39:03Get down!
39:04Oh, my God!
39:06I can't.
39:07I can't.
39:08I can't.
39:10Help me!
39:11They're pageant killers!
39:12They're gonna kill me!
39:15No.
39:16No.
39:18Oh!
39:19She's a pageant killer!
39:20Oh, wait, stop.
39:21She's a pageant killer!
39:22She's a pageant killer!
39:26Help me!
39:28Help me!
39:30I did it!
39:31I caught the baddest killer!
39:51Bob.
39:52Hey.
39:56Who are you? Are you okay?
40:01This was pretty cool, right?
40:03Private room, no one listening in.
40:07It's usually just reserved for an attorney and a client.
40:10Which, it used to be us.
40:13But, no.
40:15I guess being this American lady has its privileges.
40:22Well.
40:24Look.
40:26More famous. Like Drew Barrymore famous.
40:30I already have TV producers calling.
40:32They wanna make a show about us.
40:33You should be in here.
40:36Not me.
40:38I know.
40:40I'm gonna make this right.
40:42How? You gonna turn yourself in?
40:44I'm gonna prove that Regina was the pageant killer
40:46and that she set you up.
40:48I'm gonna find her.
40:49Get a confession out of her.
40:51Pin Stella Rose on her.
40:53And then take her out.
40:55Take her out?
40:57She deserves it.
40:58Like Christian.
40:59Gordy.
41:00To Stella Rose.
41:02Oh my god, you like it.
41:05What?
41:06Killing.
41:07You like it.
41:08Was he right?
41:11Did I like it?
41:12Did I like it?
41:13Had I been lying to myself all along?
41:26Maybe I wasn't a victim.
41:28I was empowered.
41:30That was the kind of lady I wanted to be.
41:37And now that I had the crown, nothing could get in my way.
41:42Bob, maybe you're right.
41:44Maybe I do like it.
41:46Maybe that's why I couldn't stop reading.
41:48I was pushing down the truth.
41:50What truth?
41:52Nothing tastes as good as killing feels.
41:59Oh my god.
42:00Bob, thank you.
42:01This is amazing.
42:02I finally feel free.
42:04I helped her to be the most her she could be.
42:07And who she was, was a monster.
42:10I gotta go.
42:11Find Regina.
42:12I'll let you know when it's done.
42:14Abby.
42:15It was fate.
42:16Bob saved me.
42:17And now it was my turn to save him.
42:19Stop that woman, guards!
42:21I had to stop her.
42:22I was the only one who could.
42:24She was my destiny.
42:29Abby!
42:33Welcome to the jungle.
42:35We got fun and games.
42:37We got everything you want.
42:39Honey, we know the names.
42:40We are the people that can find whatever you may need.
42:44If you got the money, honey, we got your disease in the jungle.
42:49Welcome to the jungle.
42:51Watch it break into your knees.
42:54My knees.
42:55Me.
42:57I, I wanna watch you bleed.
42:59Welcome to the jungle.
43:01We're taking day by day.
43:03If you want you're gonna bleed blood.
43:06The bronze you pay and your a very sexy girl.
43:09It's very hard to bleed.
43:12You can taste the bright lights but you won't get them for free.
43:15Free in the jungle, welcome to the jungle
43:19You're my, my, my, my serpent, the chain
43:24I want to hear you scream
43:43Welcome to the jungle
43:45Like it's worse here every day
43:47You learn to live like an animal
43:49In the jungle where we play
43:51If you've got hunger for what you see
43:53You'll take it eventually
43:54You can have anything you want
43:57But you better not take it from me
43:59In the jungle
44:00Welcome to the jungle
44:02Won't you burn me to your
44:03Shilin' ni-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n.
44:09I'm gonna watch you sleep
44:11When you're high
44:21You never
44:22Ever wanna come down
44:25So down
44:27So down
44:29So down
44:32Yeah
44:41We'll see you next time
45:11You
45:41You
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